MBMBaM 830: On the Goku

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sex expert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? What day is it? It's the start of something beautiful. A small quaintant has blossomed, it's rapping into a precious friendship. I could have never seen what was coming for me, hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach, my life, it feels like. It's better, it's better with you. This is true. So everybody, welcome to my brother, my brother, and me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What up, Travis Nation? It's me, your middle-aged brother, Travis Bigger, Wolf Wolf, Vroom Vroom, the heater, or word-winning McElroy. I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin McElroy, fit check. I like that. Fit check on the shirt. Kindergarten, dude, he's got a smiley face with those cool striped sunglasses on it. It's not ironic, it's for the love of my son and the love of the school and the love of the game, because he got one in red, and I was like, that shirt is so goddamn cool. I got to get one in a big boy size, and they did have one in a big boy size. It's my new favorite piece of kit, man. Let's everybody know, I love Kindergarten. Listen boys, we don't normally to call out episodes, challenge episodes, but I got a call out, and I know he's listening. I know he, I know he does. Mr. Asop, I have a problem with one of your fables, real bad. Okay. I was talking with my children, Griffin, Justin, what's the lesson? What's the lesson? What's the lesson? What's the lesson of the tortoise in the hair? That's okay to go slow sometimes. It's okay if you're slower than all the other kids. Slow and steady when it's the race, right? Yeah, slow and steady when it's the race. That's fucking bullshit. I can't believe if the hair had been fast and steady. Yeah. There should have been a third animal competing. Yeah. That was fast and steady because slow and steady does not win the race. I want you to travel. I think if you're gonna continue to bring this heat to the beginning of our show, the first thing people heater. This fucking toilet thoughts energy. It's already coming out of my butt and I can't get up now because what am I gonna do with the butt mess? Yeah, no, for sure. I feel like you should have to record the show on the toilet if you're gonna do this. I need you guys to point out where I'm wrong. No, you're right. Travelers don't need to be a driver. The hair takes breaks frequently because he's winning so much. Yeah. Right? So his progress is fast, but he repeatedly needs to take breaks. Yeah. And he takes breaks throughout. The tortoise's pace is uninterrupted throughout the race. So he is steady, steady and slow. But the rabbit or hair is going fast intermittently, but napping. And the person who rode it, the dead person who rode it, the dead man would win all the time. Man, it comes in three and all the time. Well, no, there's a follow-up probably where the rabbit wins every other race because he knows you can't take naps in the middle of races. Right. It's just a terrible lesson to tease the children. Don't rest. Of like slow and steady. It's just factually inaccurate. As long as you never stop. You're slow. You're slower than everyone else is you can't stop. You can't rest. Or else you'll lose. I think maybe ASAP's done a lot of harm to the slow guys with this story. You need to be steadier, my son. That's the problem. Yeah, I'll be slow, but you should be steadier. I need to be, I also feel like, I feel like maybe we should all hop on our phones, go to our johns. I feel like I'm having trouble hanging, Travis. I'm being honest because it's like, yeah, it seems like you're on the tour. It seems like you've missing, here's the deal, Travis. I think you thought I'm about to crack this motherfucker wide open, but it does seem like you've forgotten some pretty core facets of the tortoise and hair story. Which is that the hair was actually a lazy fuck. Well, there's one twice during the race. There should have been a third, there should have been a third animal present. Yeah, that is known for being fast and steady. No, but like a horse. No, like if it had been a horse, if it had been the tortoise and the hair and the horse. Yeah, then after the race, the tortoise and hair can get together. Like, I wish we could have a fucking conversation with this goddamn horse showing up and be like, I'm better than both. I just feel like it's implied that like obviously faster would have been better. Like if the tortoise had also gone fast, I think everybody agrees that that would have been ideal. If they're saying if you have to choose, you go slow and steady because that will get you there and fast. And I think in one version of him, there should be a version of it where he's going so fast that he dies or runs into a brand. Is scared of something? Yeah, it's up hailed. Yeah, he doesn't need to like a bat. Yeah, because he needs some sort of negative outcome. He runs into a race. He runs into a race. A bird hits him in the face. Yeah. I'm just saying the moral. Fast and steady obviously, Travis, that's like great. But like if you're, you don't need a story to tell you that two good things are good. Fast and steady and horny. You know, like fast and steady and thirsty wins the lemonade race. You know, it's like it doesn't make sense. I'm just saying the more the story should be slow and steady wins the race. Come on. It is. It is. Unless there is a third option, steady or die. Travis, you understand that Aesop's not going to do a ranking of all the fastest. He can't do like, hey, what up fam? It's me, Aesop. Aesop power rankings here. Goku versus Sonic. Blue and turbo, if you got the chaos emeralds, you know, it's my man. Sonic going to win the race. It's about their world view. If the horse tried to enter, he'd be like, well, I'd like to get a piece of this action. They'd be like, obviously you would win your fast and steady. Go away. We're talking about two different schools of thought here. Yeah. Fast and steady is great. We'd all love to be fast and steady. Also a third insect with the aunt and the grasshopper who knows how to store fruit away and loves the party would also be great. It's possible to do both things. I guess I get the point you're saying, which is that Aesop's fables basically all boiled down to. You want to have fun, huh? Tough shit, dude. You're going to die if you have even a little bit of fun and you'll lose. You'll die and lose if you stop to rest or have fun at all. Yes. Here's my new guy, Turbo Horse. He can go all day, all night long, if you know what I mean. That's right. My new fables are going to be nasty, nasty in an animal way. Travis, have you got any others? Why does he do that? The only other one I can remember is the musicians of Brandon and I don't know what the moral is from that one except like animal stacked on top of each other, making a lot of noises really scary. So watch out for that. I'll tell you what I learned. The moral of this story is, this is an advice show. Every time I do an intro like that, I know I've just bounced back the trust that my brothers have in me to let me say, I have an idea for an intro next time. It's a hard thing. I have a good idea for an intro. Yeah, I feel like sometimes you self sabotage a little bit, Travis. It's just a lot of pressure to like, because I've been on a real banger streak as far as like good episodes. I know. I was like, it's too high. It's too high. You had to lessen the load by talking about a 450 year old story that you've misinterpreted. That's a pretty critical way. Hey, can we talk about Luke Giffin? I don't know who that is, but I, yeah, Williams town West Virginia. He made it to the final match of the Pokemon trading card game, junior division, world champion chips. Second in the world, West Virginia's own Luke Giffin, and it does sound like you're saying Griffin with a baby voice, but it's not that. It's Giffin. He gets smoked. He gets smoked by Wolf Glick. Wolf Glick's my number one, dude. He can't be beaten in the Pokemon TCG scene. He's actually probably like 36 years old now at this point. Wolf Glick's been in the game. Utah. Iraqi. Oh, Utah. He's got two. I would say in a world champion situation, especially Luke is a, is a trial, is a junior division. Coming in second, he's so Pokemon coded. It's so perfect because like, yeah, he got something to chase. - You think Ash won the Indigo League every time you rolled up? - Nope. - This is what I'm saying, that's luck. - This is season one arc, you know what I mean? - I will say this then, that means to me, America's best, Luke Giff and West Virginia's own. - Uh-huh. - Don't have a bit here, just want to say that kicks that out. - That's great. - Now we have embedded Luke. - He don't know about Luke's views, but I bet I like, I bet I get along better with Luke than Brody Simpleson or whatever the name of the kid was that one of the Patreon games, you know? - Yeah, sure, man, that's Luke's way better hang. - It's gotta be a better hang. Yeah, a little chatty. Sure, when it comes to Pokemon, probably. - But that's okay. - So, so am I. - I'm saying at this point, between my nieces and nephews across various people and like children that my children are friends with in there. If there's a child who wants to talk to me about Pokemon cards and I find out he placed second in the world on so down for that conversation. - Well, hold on, Travis, hold on. Okay, this is great. No, I want to celebrate this kid. Obviously, West Virginia hero, this is great. We love it. His name sounds like my name is awesome. We love all that. It is the junior leagues. If any of these little munchkins rolled up to grown up Pokemon TCG, their mind could not conceive of the kind of combos that we're doing up here, that we've been cooking up in the lab, that we've been brainstorming. We would bust out shit that they would not even be able to comprehend, dude. Nasty combos. - I do think the Griffin, you're ignoring the mind game aspect of like a 10 year old, like coming out strong and diffusing like a play you were trying to make, where you were gonna go until so hard, so quick, against this child. - I do like, by the way, that they split it up as if it was like, you know, like a weightlifting competition or a wrestling competition. Of like, clearly, these children could not compete on the Pokemon card level of these adults. - They just simply can't, they don't know about Sneasel, and what he's capable of. Only my grown up mind can cook up the kind of schemes. - The division is gotta be the harder one. - Junior vision is the harder one. You age out of the good one. I think you're right. - I don't think that's what any of us is saying. - That's the opposite of what I'm saying, is I'm saying only an adult mind can understand what Sneasel brings. - Yeah, I don't think you're right. I don't think, I think the children division is harder, and then when you get into the adult division, it gets easier, and then it gets really hard again, 'cause they get very old. - They have a lot of free time. So there's a junior division, a division division, I don't know, the division two, and the senior division, where it gets probably the hardest. - I gotta say guys, I've been thinking about retirement lately, not retiring, but how cool it will be to not have any more obligations and to just fucking chill. - To not have to do this. - Really anything except any whatever. - Your difficult job. - That's a cute bit. We do this podcast, again, I hate that we have to keep stressing this to each other, let alone our audience. This podcast is easy, but in the 59 other things that we, it does make up a lot of hours that we're spending doing this stuff. If I were to-- - I would just love to know, if I could lighten your load at all, if there's like a lot of tasks that you're being, like through the week, if I could help you out, I would love to. - I could beat video games for you for best easy. - Yeah, I'd lighten your load if you need somebody to learn. - I mean, that is a lot of, you guys again, are having a lot of fun. I have been poop-socking the Blood of Dawn Walker this week, and it's not-- - What a sense. - It's not, I've been poop-socking the Blood of Dawn Walker this week because I want to do this. - See it, don't worry. The Blood of Dawn Walker. - It's not hard. If I could just keep-- - What has Dawn Walker been into since high school? Poop-sock me a blood. - I feel like if I could just continue my original thought before you guys started shitting all over our entire enterprise, our entire business that we've created together. - Good, shot-check it out. - The business that we do? - No, Blood of the Dawn Walker. - No, yeah, it's pretty sick. It's pretty good. I like to also think our business is pretty good, but when I retire, I was thinking, what if I get healthy and then I can do world travel? Now I'm saying, what if I join the elite grandmaster circuit of the Pokemon TCG seniors league? - I am now picturing us. Like, you know, like the old people sitting around the retirement village, like playing bridge or like Domino's, right, Kanasta. And now I'm picturing them doing like magic the gathering and Pokemon cards and like shit. And I'm so-- - I wouldn't do it there. I wouldn't do it there. I'd be in Central Park. I'd be at one of the chess tables and all the guys would be like, you gotta get out of here, man. This is just for chess and I'll be like, get out of-- I fought for this country. - You're doing street Pokemon cards and one Pokemon cards. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. How far away are we from where you see an old guy and he was definitely in a war? So you gotta be nice to him. - 'Cause I feel like we're aging out. You know what I mean? - I feel like an adult sure. - Sure, you know what I mean? There's like, I feel like there was like, when I was growing up, you kinda had to be nice to old guys 'cause they were probably in a war. And I feel like as I'm getting older, like I don't have to be nice to all the old guys as much any war, but I don't know exactly how often. Appreciate the hats, guys. That actually helps me out a lot. - Yeah, there's so much to do. - There's so much. - I would help even more if we could have hats that made it clear I didn't serve, right? Because they might not be wearing-- - You think I've heard more. - Well, they might not be wearing the hat at the time, but they did serve. - If there was like mandatory shirts hats. - Yeah, man, I think I like a shirt too, 'cause shirts more, I don't know, versatile and I can just say like, didn't help, couldn't be bothered. - There are some hats that old dudes wear that do let me know I actively don't need to respect them. - Which is nice. - Yeah, sure. - Those hats. - Yeah. - Very clear. - I like the guys, man, we got, show me guys like this around here. We're in tight t-shirts that have like very emo silhouettes of guns. It's always like cool, rifle, it's a tough company. We get the job done with guns. And it's like a silhouette of like a burning gun or a melting gun? - Yeah, look like flowers coming out of it. Like roses, like with thorny roses. - Yeah, thorny roses like half a flag. It's like burning or melting too. It's just like, and it's always like tough guy knock school. We get the money, we get out, we love it. - Yeah. - We can't praise God. - And they're always a hundred years old, these guys wearing these shirts, too. - This is an advice show, you know that. We take your questions and we turn them alchemy like into wisdom. Here's the first one, the first. I was recently hired for a lab position at my university. I quickly noticed that everyone in the slack has a muppet as their icon. When I asked about this, they said it is a lab tradition and I must also choose one. I have only met these people once, which muppet will send the best impression at my new job. And that's from pondering puppets in Pittsburgh. - I mean, let's just take Bunsen and Beaker off the table. - Yes. - Too many workplace accidents. - Also, it's just two on the nose. - It's too fucking obvious. - You can't have a lab, God yeah. - Oh, oh yeah, what they think probably. - And I think the best impression is so subjective. - I think more about what, and there's some obvious what each muppet says about you, kind of thing. Miss Big Year, Diva, you know. Animal, you're wild and crazy, right? - Conzo, your bestiality like freak. Like an absolute disgusting little freak. - Only for birds though. I don't think he's that way with all animals. - It might just be the one chicken actually. That's a good point Travis. Maybe that's two, maybe he doesn't subscribe to that label. - Yeah. - And what even is Gonzo, you know. It's obviously I feel like there's a weird kind of power dynamic difference there because he's a bit more sort of sentient. He has the power of speech and complex thought and the chicken appears to not have that. But maybe it's normal for God's sake. - He seems aware. Like they don't have cover stations. - He's reciprocated absolutely. - She can't speak English. And they're like fuzzy the bear is a bear. But nobody gets mad if like somebody was into him, right? Nobody will be like, oh, like that's bestiality. - Yeah, that's a good point, man. Gonzo, what is Gonzo? Gonzo is like a little alien elephant. Maybe it's normal from his planet to have to have a relationship with a chicken like that. - I think Rizzo is a good bat. - Rizzo is a rat. - Rizzo, the rat's fucking cool, dude. Think about it, too. - I mean, Rizzo's cool, but like, is that a new hire? - It's a lab rat. - Justin. - A lab rat. - No, but that's really good. - So single. - He's a good friend, right? Who also cracks wise, a little bit sarcastic, loves to eat. But like, is there for you when you need him? He's a great psychic, doesn't he? - Insightful. Insightful. Like insightful, but a good time. - Rizzo the rats, Rizzo is one of my favorites. He's like right after Pepe, for like my favorite. - I like Pepe, but I dislike that I think Rizzo got kind of shunted off for Pepe. - Sure, because Pepe is funny here. Can I offer a psychic, though, Pepe? Little bit spotlight, Steve. - Rizzo, I mean, Rizzo is just an engineer to be a good psychic. I want to figure a bit of a. curveball here. I'm going to show you guys 20 pictures of Blue Zealand. I love Blue Zealand. Now, tell me any one of these pictures of Blue Zealand wouldn't we just replay in the back icon. Is he in the band? What's his deal? No, he throws the fish away. It comes with a boomerang fish. He throws the boomerang fish. It comes back to you. That's Blue Zealand's whole fucking thing. Is he throws the boomerang fish in his back to you? The two on the far left of this thing are so good. That's a really great. Yeah. Okay. So this is the right answer. I think this image of an absolutely manic Blue Zealand with his boomerang fish is like a pretty goddamn good profile pic regardless of context. It's really not making my profile pic. It's like, honestly, it's pretty good. It's really, it's really. They do this in both Muppet Treasure Island and Muppet Cruises girl where they will have Muppet pre-established characters that they do not change in any way to slot into the story. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They don't want to tweak New Zealand. Yeah. They're just like, no, this is just Blue Zealand. He threw the fish away. It came right back to you. He's not a different guy in this Dickensian setting. Yeah. He's already in the troop. And it's like the guy who you know in the company is not that good of an actor, but they are good at building sets. So you let him like do a couple lines. Yeah. He's not going to, he's not going to pretend to be Jiminy Cricket or whatever the look. You know, he's going to throw a fish and come back to you. He got the one thing that is impressive. Right? I'd like to see anyone else throw a fish and come right back to you. Yeah. Not a versatile skills that. No. I'll tell you what I like here, guys. Alpha. Huh. Think about that. The owner and creator and puppeteer of Alva's very litigious though, Griffin. So if you're using for your eye conference, I know. I know there's some, I learned this week that there's some, there was quite a lot of behind the scenes, just, just vitriol on the set of Alpha. I understand the risks associated, but I mean, Alpha has, has more, I don't know, is a more fully developed character. I think you're saying a lot more stuff with an Alpha profile pic than you would with a, with really any other Muppet. Except maybe Kermit. Kermit's kind of a power play too, because like, I'm the boss of the Muppet. I'm the king of the Muppets, the boss, the president. Sweetems is good too, because it's very, it's an ambiguous kind of signal you're sending, where I think people read into sweetems, whatever they want to say. What about you? You know, Alpha isn't a Muppet, right? Just so we can, yeah, because we'll get emails. What about, okay, so, did you guys know that there was a meat that I was a Muppet? Did you guys know that I did a brief stint as a Muppet in the 1989, the Jim Henson, the Jim Henson show? I didn't know that, Gryffindin, the Jim Henson show, you need to be kidding. The Jim Henson hour. The Jim Henson hour, you need to brief stint as a Muppet. I didn't know this. Let me just quickly, I'll just like, I'll let you guys see sort of who, like, and I did like, you know, the mocap. I was full Andy Circus for it. Huh. Huh. Now who is this guy? This is Chip from the Jim Henson hour, and he's me, he has maybe a little bit less hair than me, but he's the IT guy at the office and, you know, I think that chip could be a cool one. I think that looks like you. Just a sort of egg-shaped sort of guy with glasses and brown hair. And he's holding up his finger as if to say like, um. Hey, Gryffindin, we need to work on yourself with steam, right? Self-esteem and also audio instincts. Why would you pull over the podcast to look at a Muppet that people don't know and does it look like you? You stop the audio broadcast to come over and look at this picture. The only thing you can see. Yeah. I don't understand what the issue is. Also, it doesn't look like you. There's people point out people that look like you literally every day. Gryffindin, you do cool cars to get away from this. No. I see that you pulled up cool cars in the same screen share. And Fortnite dance. It's too funny. That's a funny thing you've ever done. I can't do it. I don't know, guys. Just my child, my young child pulled an all-nighter last night with a club. So I'll be, I'll be the first to admit. I'm bringing a little bit of sleep over energy to this, to this episode. I want to apologize to Travis. I want to wait too hard on you about the ASAP thing. That wasn't me. I'm so, I'm so tired, man. I just remember that there was a Muppet that looked like me and I wanted to share it with the world, but and you're right. It didn't make any sense. Zoot and Floyd are also good options. Yeah. How do I not act jealous when someone walks up to my archaeological dig site and ask if we are finding any dinosaur bones? Is starting to get to me. Should I switch careers? So are they not? No, that's paleontology, right? Yeah. Right. Digging up dinosaur sounds really cool, but plain old archeology is pretty cool too. That's from paleontology, Pajelus in Pumichigan. I don't, I do. I don't know. I do. I must. I'm not sure. I'll talk to some folks. You guys have everything. There's been a time where like some sort of ancient treasure-filled crypt just happened to be on top of like a, a Brontosaurus. And then they had to argue like, I'm sorry, jurisdiction, dibs. Like mine is deeper. And the deeper, the one, the deeper one gets the gets the deed, gets the rights. And this one crosses the state line. So we're going to call the FBI. Yeah. Actually, this is a historically famous dinosaur and his abode and his relics. So we never talked about like, I don't want to give any more ammunition to people, but like, what if early, early humans were just burying the dinosaurs very deeply after they passed out of respect? Yeah. Just yeah. I see. I thought you were going to say what I was thinking, which is what if early humans dug deep, found dinosaur bones and then like brought them to their home and then they died. And like one day we found like, I don't know if they tell you guys. The dinosaur bones are in their house. Was there one dinosaur that was there at the same time? Yeah. They'd cover that up. They would absolutely. Did dinosaurs ever make tools? Did dinosaurs ever make weapons? Did dinosaurs ever paint all walls? No, they were big and they died. That's what you say. Maybe not in that ton of voice over those exact words. Because that did seem very defensive and very angry. I'm realizing now as I said it. Yeah. And you're going to be in that headspace too. Can you guys imagine digging in hot sand for your job 40 hours a week, hot sand digging and someone comes up to you and is a dickhead? I'm not going to have the patients required to patiently explain to them that history is cooler than dinosaurs. They have done archaeological digs on old outhouses where like stuff got preserved in layers and layers of like waste right from like the 1600s and 1700s. Can't do that. You can't find old dinosaur outhouses, you know what I mean? Yeah. That's true. Good point. Guys, I had a real brush with paleontology myself this weekend. Cooper won tickets to go to Canon Park from the summer reading program to library. She won a bunch. So we went out there with the the Hicks and the small snare body when it's at Canon Park. And I knew this existed. But I don't think I'd ever like really taking the time to appreciate it. Just pass the scrambler. Yeah. There's a large mound. Uh-huh. And that mound is a native American burial mound from the Adina culture that dates between 1000 BC and 180 BC and 180. And it hasn't been excavated. There's signs there about like what perhaps is in this mound. It is directly situated between the scrambler and that the dip and dots booth. Yeah. And like just between there, there is this mound. There's a there's a a burial mound there that they have in all respect. Not excavated. They have built around. Yeah. But it is just right next to the scrambler. I mean, it couldn't be closer to the scrambler than it is currently. The scrambler's not affixed to the ground particularly well. Year over year, it's inching closer and closer to the mound. That's true. Everything there is original. It will eventually start naturally activating the day. It will start. Yeah. And Justin, I just want to point out because as you mentioned about people, emailing, you did leave this off saying paleontology. And that is it's kind of exacerbating the psychology. Sorry. It's easy to get them confused when you aren't paying that close to attention. Well, it's interesting too. That's part of the question though, isn't it? If I was an archaeologist and I found dinosaur bones in the ground, I think I'd be stoked because it's like, this isn't just history I found. It's turbo history. Sure. But if I was a paling entologist and I found an old bowl or whatever. I'd be like, fuck this. It's not a velociraptor. I think as an archaeologist, you have more claim over the world of dinosaurs that may have over yours. So you could just say, dinosaurs isn't the goal today, but it would be great to find a dinosaur. I would love to. That's history too. Old lizard history. Do you think that this ever happens to Indiana Jones? Yes. That's someone asked Indiana Jones, like, what's the coolest dinosaur you've ever found? I found the Holy Grail. Like, I found the arc of the covenant. They're like, but you ever found a velociraptor? And he's like, no, no. I know. I mean, I haven't. You're right. I have it. Fine. Fine. I like, I like amonites. I like them videos. I don't know if you'll all get tick tocks of people going to the beach, the rocky shores and digging up amonites. That's cool. What are amonites? Aren't they the little spirally guys? Maybe. I don't know. They're little spirally guys. They're old fossils and they used to be a little nautilus shells, I guess, and then they turn and they just died and they get sucked up into big rocks and people go to the beach. They crack them open and then they say, here's my, and you hear that voice. Here's my hall from the from the rocky beach. It sounded like it. Yeah. So probably. Yeah. But the videos aren't AI. It's real, real fossils. Oh, okay. It's already fossil. That's cool. Yeah. I didn't even know about those amonites. I'm always confused because they don't know that there's an amonite in it until they break it open. Sorry. They're just breaking open every rock they see. Well, they can tell some some rocks have like a shape that suggests maybe that there's amonites in them. Look at these big goddamn fossils, guys. Wow. Nice, dude. Nice. Yeah. These are really cool. These are good episodes. Yeah. A lot of visual, a very visual episode. Very visual episode. Very visual. Can we take a break and go to the money zone? Yes. Sorry. What is this? What is this? This is just anime. This is best anime fights. Right. Oh, man. I'd love to see one punch me on versus the dude. Oh, my geek test. We got him. Is that him? Is that him? You know what? I got big feelings from my little kitty. She's so cute. Jasmine. Oh, she's a sweetheart. And so for my big feelings from my little kitty, I give her smalls food. Oh, that's lovely, Trap. Yeah. My cats love smalls too. I'll have an Amelia eat a couple packs every day. And it's filled with really good, preservative free stuff, human grade ingredients that you might find in your fridge and they deliver it right to you. I wasn't talking about your cats, Justin. I'm talking about everybody's cat trap because everybody's cats are going to really love switching to smalls. In fact, 88% of cat owners reported overall health improvements when they made this, made the switch. Every time I talk about how much I love my little kitty, Jasmine. Justin's like, I got two cats. I fucking get it, man. I'm just saying it's like, uh, smalls is really great. I was trying to say good stuff about this sponsor. But you never talk about how great my cat is. I forgot you had a cat. But I am happy that you are getting into the cat raising thing. It is a big responsibility, though. And I hope you're ready for it. Trap, you got two dogs. It feels like the one cat is kind of an afterthought if I'm being honest. I like to be well-rounded. Yeah, no, I know. But I think when you look at you, yeah, and they're great. They're like in your content. Food chain in there. Whole food web. Yeah. If you ever swallowed a fly, man, you'd be set up. I'm all set. I'm about to bring it home. Watch. Everybody, take your seats. Buckle your seat belts. Your cats, health and longevity starts with what they eat for a limited time because you are a ma- ma- ma- listener. Get 60% off your first order plus free shipping and free treats for life. When you head to smalls.com/mybrother, that's 60% off your first order plus free shipping and free treats for life. When you head to smalls.com/mybrother. Have you swallowed an increasingly large series of animals to chase the other animals? So you're looking for a very specific doctor to help you out and not ask a lot of questions. Well, have you tried Zockdock? We can't promise that all of those different filters will be available in the Zockdock search. I think for legal reasons, they probably couldn't have a checkbox that says doesn't ask a lot of questions. But basically, anything else that you need, like you can search for doctors in your area that take your insurance. You can look at reviews for those doctors and you can just book appointments right through the damn Zockdock website. I swallow it a bunch of nesting doll style animals and you need to have them removed. Perhaps I'll die. Yeah, yeah. There's a slider that you click and drag to showcase like I am at go. Let's get to go. It's almost too late. It's late stage at that point. Yeah. Still reversible. Barely, barely reversible. Zockdock is really great. I've used it a bunch here in DC to find doctors and specialists and Zockdock lets you search and compare all the local and network doctors. It's free. You get to see all the appointment openings and you can just click to book a visit usually within 24 to 72 hours. It really is terrific. Your health matters. Taking care of yourself shouldn't be complicated. Find a book, the right doctor with Zockdock, head to Zockdock.com/mybrother to get started. Check that appointment off your to-do list. That's z-o-c-d-o-c.com/mybrother. I decided to do Hocus Pocus by Focus as the Munch Squad intro. But rather than do one of the hard parts of Hocus Pocus by Focus, I did the like, yodeling part. Okay. You gotta have munch. I guess it would be nice if I could munch you by. Do that one instead. Listen, I have been talking a lot about Burger King lately because they have been doing a lot of listening. If you remember, the boss of Burger King started taking people's calls. And then Burger King lost its damn mind. Yeah. So and they just started fixing stuff, making these better. If you want to remember, they recently had the big innovations to trickle down for that program so far. Three different versions of their nasty long chicken sandwich. Okay. The Burger King Your Way Champion who works in the shadows and tries to improve the experience for you. I have two stories today. The first is this. Burger King introduces lace innovation inspired by guest feedback. New chicken nuggets and sauces. That's a huge, we shouldn't have that much power. We shouldn't have that much sway over what you do with your business Burger King. It's starting to get a little desperate in a way that like, and listen, brands aren't people and I don't care. But I am worried about Burger King. I'm worried about you, Burger King. Hey guys, this is a lot of, do you like me now in a way? Yeah. Let me finish this episode. You tell me if they're crazy or crazy like a fox, which is a cool crazy. If you don't know about that. Yeah. If you haven't heard that earlier this year, they bring it up. Not me. Earlier this year, Burger King invited guests to share honest feedback through its listening initiative. And the brand is continuing to act on what it hurt. When thousands of calls and texts made it clear that the chicken nuggets at BK weren't delivering the experience. Guests expected. Being called quote, rubbery. Dry. Why? Disappointing. You don't have to say the shit about your shit in here. No, I think I feel like the CEO was reading over the shoulder like, no, write it down. That's what they said. They said, it's like a thousand times. It made me chuk. I have to hear it. You have to hear it. The rest can try and disappointing. That is a thousand percent what happened because the previous line has such euphemistic like we weren't delivering on guest expectations. And then the next words are like, let's spell it out. They were fucking gross. They were gross. I still say this in my sleep because I heard it. So many times, rubbery, dry and disappointing. My wife took offense actually because I said it out loud accidentally. And I had to say no, dear, you don't understand. It's the nuggets. It's the nugs. We take guest feedback seriously. And when we received thousands of texts, calls and comments telling us our nuggets needed a total overhaul. We listened. This is twice now. They have reinforced thousands of our culinary team. This is chef Amy Ollercon, the head chef of Birkin. Our culinary team evaluated every element of the experience from the chicken and breading to the sauces that bring it all together. Throughout the process, we invited real guests, including some of our toughest critics, kids, to taste and refine the recipe, helping us create a nugget we believe delivers the qualities tasting experience they're asking for. I understand what what they're going for there, but when it comes to. chicken nuggets. - Are kids your toughest critics? Like I-- - I mean, yeah, in a way. - Yeah. - Like I would be a tough critic on a chicken nugget at like a baseline level where it's like I don't really, I don't wanna eat just a small bite of chicken. I like to eat different lots of other stuff at the same, I'm not a big chicken nugget guy. If I only ate chicken nuggets, I do think my critiques would be more insightful. - I mean these look like lovely nuggets actually. - I did wanna enhance this bit right here. - We do have a special sauce, new, special savory sauce. - That sauce looks like wax applied to the chicken nugget. - I'll tell you it's fucked because the sauce is the exact same hue as the nugget itself. - Yeah, so it looks like you're dipping the nugget and mushed up nugget, which is-- - It looks like they've buffed all the breading off the nugget to a fine smooth shine. - It does look like that. They're not doing themselves any favors with the name, which is new, special savory sauce. A brand new limited time dipping sauce. Combining creamy, tangy, and slightly spicy flavors with hints of barbecue seasoning. - Catch up, garlic, onion, and black pepper. - Hey guys, just say you forgot. - Yeah, just say you forgot to write it down. - You literally got lost in the sauce. You made the fucking Kal Mitchell good burger juice, but you weren't a great steward of the-- - Name it something for God's sake. Even when KFC had the Supergirl promo, I had to eat Lobo's hot chili. Like come on, give it, give me something. - That he does listen off a bunch of like additive things without a core thing to it. Like we just put a bunch of like seasonings in a thing. - Yeah, we don't know, man, it's savory. - They busted these out into bullet pointed list. - Second, honey mustard. - Now get this guys, it's a richer creamier take on the classic, made with mustard and honey for the perfect balance of sweet and tangy flavor. Then they have to explain, and I won't put you to this, but they have to explain what buffalo sauce and sweet and sour sauce is. Like, huh, you know, they just tried. So you might be thinking, wow, Burger King has really put themselves in a pickle here with these new nuggets. Like this is obviously an extremely exciting promotion, but is this gonna be enough to turn the brand around? And I think the boss of Burger King, Joel Yashinsky said, okay, well, maybe we could do one more for you if this isn't enough. - Yes, that's right. Burger King and Toy Animation have joined forces to launch the new Dragon Ball Super Media. - All right, but batten down the hatches, they fixed the nuggets and they're doing Dragon Ball shit. - Yeah, I mean, you're doing me a great favor right now, juice, 'cause later I was gonna look at pictures of Goku and pictures of chicken nuggets, and you've-- - I know, dude. - You've got me squared away. - There's no better place to play Minecraft in the world right now than your local Burger King. There is no better place. - They committed so, so long ago to the paper crown with Burger King that now the inclusion of it in all their promotional things is so wild. - But it's cool now that the paper crown is Dragon Ball Z and same. - Yeah, I've been driven insane by my desire for a paper dragon ball Z for King Crown. It's all I can fucking say. - I mean, if I could still get a line out to Joel Yashinsky, we need to make these paper crowns much larger. I've never been able to fit one of these things on my skull. - And that means never. - Guy, he means never, even since childhood. - Pradle to the grave can't get one of these bad boys wrapped around my circumference. So I would love Joel perhaps an extendable, like I don't know, you could hand them out, like small sort of slips of cardboard that you could bridge the gap maybe. Just food for thought. I know that it probably costs a lot of money to print these Dragon Ball Z crowns. - Justin, could you tell me what's in the cup there that looks like Pearce after a night of heavy drinking? - Yeah, I try to all get there. Don't worry about it, but you've got good eyes. You've seen the most refreshing part of the meal probably. Let's talk about the power pack. Burger King, I hope the same person got to write this press release as had to write the last one. - That's a really good treat. - Yeah, crack the knuckles and have some fun. Burger King is bringing the cosmic energy of the anime multiverse straight to your taste buds. - Yes. Have you ever wanted to know a Goku taste like? - Good news. - I think it's just some Goku chips. - In celebration of one of the most beloved anime franchises, Dragon Ball Super. Burger King is launching, it would be wild if it was in celebration of like Akira. Burger King is launching a limited poll, dude. - Yeah, we're super proud of that. - That's what I did. What have been great, you could have said like a series like Dragon Ball Z, but Clara, we will absolutely accept. - Okay, great. Burger King is launching a limited time menu packed with bold flavors and immersive packaging designed to delight fans of all ages. The Dragon Ball Super Power Up pack includes a 10 piece chicken nugget with new Super Saiyan sauce. - Oh yeah. - Yeah. It's a sweet, savory, tangy, teriyaki style sauce inspired by-- - It's all in there. - It's all in there. It's all in there, the Super Saiyan sauce. Scott, it's got the Super Saiyan sauce. They got the Dragon Ball burst lemonade. It's a refreshing mango peach lemonade. Would you see mango flavored popping boba that brings the magic of the Dragon Balls to every sip? - I'm not sure I want B.K. Dabbling and boba. That's all I want to say. I'm not sure that I want that. - Yeah, boba's on the fence already in texture wise. - It also does seem like they're go to like their direction for the-- - That should be enough, go koo. - They're go koo direction for this between the Super Saiyan sauce and the mango peach lemonade with boba was put as much into each thing as you can. - That's the B.K. way, man, maximalist. - And then I feel bad for the person 'cause then they had to describe a medium fry which is just a medium fry, classic french fries. - Have you ever seen a small fry and a large fry in thought? I wish they had a baby. - Well, here you go. Hey, Griff, will you read this part? 'Cause I'm afraid I'm not gonna get it right now. - Sure, sure. - It's fun to me. - Yeah, absolutely, here we go. Dragon Ball Super Figurine, one of six exclusive character figurines including go koo. Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan go koo. (laughs) Vegeta, just kidding, Vegeta. Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan Vegeta. (laughs) Pick a low, empirus. - I'm not laughing at the fact that these are anime names because of course they are. I'm laughing that someone had to like check the sheet eight times. Like, okay, hold on, it's-- Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan go koo? 'Cause they were fucking, Bethany, listen to me. If you write it wrong, they're gonna rip us apart. They're gonna have some fun. - You will wish for death, Bethany. - You have to write. Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan go koo, please. - It sounds like-- - Don't forget Beerus. (laughs) Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan go koo sounds like a SAT, like analogy question. Super Saiyan God is too Super Saiyan go koo. Kids can join the adventure too. Don't worry kids, you're not left out of the Dragon Ball see Super Power Up Pack when Super Saiyan sauce. Kids can join in too. A Dragon Ball Super themed King Junior meal arrives participating restaurants nationwide, giving younger fans the opportunity to power up their play. Each meal includes a choice of hamburger, cheeseburger, four piece, six piece chicken nugget, plus a side drink and theme crown and one of six figurines. Why supplies last? - The same figurines? - I hope that they're worse figurines. 'Cause yeah, my meal has an adult collectible. I hope it's not a toy, a simple child's toy. I didn't realize this wasn't a kids meal. I didn't realize this Dragon Ball Super Power Up Pack was an adult meal, I apologize. - You can tell by how excited you were to buy and eat it, Griffith. It was an adult meal. - I just want the crown, dude. I just want the crown and I'll have to make some modification. I'll have to punch holes in the sides of the crown so I can still wear my headphones while wearing the Dragon Ball Super Crown, but it's all I really want. I guess I would like a little Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan Goku figurine. I can put that here next to Fishing's Big Boy. - I know it's too late now 'cause they're already out and in stores, but next time you partner with Dragon Ball Super, if you could make the Goku position in such a way, the figurine that he's holding my neck's nugget for me, offering it to me. It's like, here you go, brother. Like that would be just ideal for me if it looked like he had my back with my neck's nugget ready to go. - Yeah. - Yeah, he was like lifting one up into your, that would be cool if it was like, it might be a little nugget resting stand. You don't know, he might be able to hold a nugget. You could probably spear one on his little arm. - I'm curious about how far Joel is willing to go with this wear listening sort of initiative because if we encouraged all our fans to reach out and say we actually love the anime meal, more please. If they will then continue to turn out. Like Burger King becomes the new destination for like anime merchandise. They have a new Neon Genesis, even Gellien sort of combo punch wing. - Give me a mic. - It's interesting to have a macadamia cookies, you know. - Oh man, that's good, Traff. Wow, that's cool. - I think that the, it's interesting because they don't mention the listing initiative. In this press release so it's like it's on Dragon Ball Seabirt. We're actually not listening. Not interested with this. Well, no, I think it did. No, this is a hundred percent. What happened though? I think that Joey Shinsky's like, listen, this is going to sound crazy to you guys, but we need to do two things immediately after we Not after we appoint an enchanted food guardian who will watch over the meals. We have two orders of business. The nuggets are fucking dark The nuggets are trash and they love Goku. I swear to God guys fix the nuggets and put Goku on the box and we'll be rolling I had I had to make a special filter for the emails guys. Yeah. Yeah, you didn't hire me to tell you to make like better burgers I'm telling you fix the nuggets and create an enchanted guardian of the food and put Goku on everything Is the enchanted Guardian because it's not timed to an event. No, it's a celebration. It's a celebration of the the anime super dragon ball Is the enchanted guardian of the food responsible for getting me a different Goku collectible if I already have the Super Saiyan Super God The idea that someone on her I think they'll I think they should have to yeah The your way champion should have to care deeply about which figurine you got and how disappointed you are yeah My crown doesn't fit. I was told this was a meal for adults your way champion my way champion make this crown fit my head now Make this crown fit my brother's head stretch it Joel. I'm gonna give you this one too for free We are listening and we hear what you're saying Here's a go and then you can like lead into it that way if you want to read What if Joel learned about dragon ball from these emails and now he's like a died in the wool Like absolute dragon ball feed he can't get enough of these guys. He he rolled up to the next board meeting That was like do you guys know about do you know about Goku and his son son Goku? You guys are gonna lose your fucking minds when you see when they get mad guys He goes at it each meeting after discovering new levels of power that they've increased to like guys I know I said that they couldn't get any more powerful. Yeah in the last meeting But I'll watch a few episodes and this is gonna fucking trip you out, but there's a supersay in one two. Yeah He's here. You guys are gonna believe this. I know I described it was having a backup It goes like a lecture yellow. Yeah, and then if he's super pissed off blue We got to make this the frontman for our entire business. I proposed we changed the name from burger king to burger Goku And we need and I've already done this and we've already started sending the new signs out to all the franchises Generalize that there is a world in which like you joked about this having an impact But there's a world of which this does so well that bring king to see comes like the anime nuggets Like the number one like anime nuggets. It's like the hot topic of the of the the fast food world Guys it's me Joe. It's just finished the series. Is it too late to make a nugget me with over nine thousand nuggets in Hey guys check this out. Check this out over nine thousand. I got to it fine guys You guys heard that where you go? You quit you won't wait Guys, I don't think I can come in today um Goku fucking died Goku fucking died and now he's an angel in heaven and he has to find his way back I don't think he's gonna be able to do it He's at the end of like a big long road and the road is also a snake and Goku fucking died I can't take your calls today. Hey, what do you want? Oh, all the burgers are too hot. Sorry. I can't Goku. Wait. Are you aren't in the dragon ball, but oh you are Okay, so listen don't spoil anything but like, but like I turn that okay I got to park Goku died and like there's no way, right? Hey, no way No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I just record the actual Goku, huh? For that one? - What? (laughs) - It falls around like giving up with the Kardashians. (laughs) - I'm at the actual-- - On the Goku. - On the Goku. - On the Goku. - Who is the name of that Bravo reality show Travis, yes, absolutely. - Thank you for listening to our podcast. It's called My Brother, My Brother, and Me. It's an advice show for the modern era. Even if we don't get to a ton of questions, we still helped. I feel like we did that first. I'm up it was so good. We kind of earned-- - Took a flyer. - Flyer. - Yeah, me and Luzielin. Luzielin. - Yeah. - We've got a bunch of new merch over in the merch store, the Amnesty Bandana, Cryptonomica Stigger, designed by Rachel, Calderon Navarro, and 10% of all merch proceeds this month will also be donated to the Midwest, Food Banks, Disaster Relief Fund, which brings together donors, volunteers, and a network of over two-- - I got to think, 2,400,000-- - 9,000, over 2,400 non-private partners to deliver food and support to communities across the country. - We're doing Bestie's live on Broadway, October 9th at Town Hall in New York City. And you can get your tickets down at bit.ly/bestie's on Broadway. We've never done a live Bestie's before, but it's gonna be a ton of fun. And I hope that you will consider joining us, 'cause I'm very much looking forward to it. - I'll say thank you to Montagne, who's just doing a budget kick-ass live shows. - Yeah, make sure you check this out. - Saw a review of when a live show sound like a ton of fun, and Montagne played, my life is better with you song, and I would love to, I'd love to, Montagne, I would love to see you in concert, and it would be so sick, but I don't know if a state side tour is coming anytime soon. Maybe I'd get across the pond. Several ponds. - Several ponds-- - There's a couple ponds I would have to get on. - They call it the lower ponds. - The lower ponds. - The lower ponds. - Montagne thinks for a little bit. And I have, I got these six pack of ear tips that I don't need. I got the, I hate these, right? Because you get these, and it's like, I found the two that fit, and then the rest of them don't. - Yeah. - Okay, thanks for nothing, I guess. So I'm gonna throw them. - Justin, no look, over your shoulder, I'll give you 100 points if you hit the big boy. - If you can hit the first person's big boy, it's a little small, so I want there to be some challenge associated with it. Hard as you can though. - Oh my god, it was so close to-- - Oh, it's so close to-- - It's so close to-- - Oh, my name's Justin McRoy. - I'm Travis McRoy. - I'm Griffin McRoy. - He's been my brother, my brother, my brother me. Kiss your dad, square on the lips. (upbeat music) ♪ Oh, it's better, it's better too ♪ ♪ My way, oh, it's better with you ♪ - Maximum Fun, a work-around network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.