MBMBaM 827: Advanced Jesus Studies for Men

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? One, two, three, four! It's the start of something beautiful. A small acquaintance has blossomed, it's ripened into a precious friendship. I could have never seen what was coming for me. Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach. My life, it feels like. My life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. My life, ah, it's better, it's. It's better with you, this is true, ah, it's better, it's better with two. My life, ah, it's better with you. Hello everybody, welcome to my brother, my brother, and me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What's up, TravNation? I'm your middle-aged brother, Travis BigDogWolfo of VroomVroom, the heater, old Winnie McRee. It's me, your sweet baby brother, 30 Under 30 Media Luminary. It's me, your sweet baby brother, Travis BigDogWolfo of VroomVroom, the heater, old Winnie McRee. And just the kind of constant psychic toll that it takes on me and everyone else. I think that is basically your job. I will point out it's basically your job. Okay, well then let me just say. You just described your job. Let me say it is my job, I guess, to make light of this. But let me say this. That Washington Post article you referenced, can I read the headline? It is. Sure. Patriot Games open with dodgeball, lots of MAGA caps, and even more questions. Can this dude throw one fucking soiree without it being, like, lots of fucking big questions left in the wake of the big picnic party? The big America picnic party featuring Flo Rida. Can they not just do one event where the Washington Post writes about it? It's like, I don't know, guys. Like, he sucks. Obviously, he sucks shit. This whole thing sucks shit. But, like, pretty killer party. It's always like, it happened. Lots of people were there. They all had the fucking. Fucking hat going for him. And we're just curious where it all came. And what comes next? He can't just throw one fucking party. Well, Trump's a big fan of Dashcon. And he's just trying to recapture that energy. He's trying to capture that mean magic. Trying to recapture the magic. Simpler time. Congratulations to me, I guess. Good job, Skip. The 250K is actually only good at Liberty University, so I will be pursuing a major in. Seminary. Seminary and Jesus. Advanced Jesus Studies for Men. That's what it says here on the brochure. Yeah. Sponsored by Old Spice. Old Spice presents Advanced Jesus Studies for Men. For Men. Yeah. Oh, by the way, Boggs' son's name was Cutter. Cutter Boggs? Holy fucking shit, dude. That's awesome. That's really good. Cutter Boggs is a victim of circumcision. That's a good circumstance. Sure. Like, his name is Cutter Boggs, and he was born Cutter Boggs, and God bless him. He's gonna figure it out. Hey, Cutter. There's still time, brother. Take it from us. Use this as your launchpad. The three of us, literally. Yeah. Take it from us. There's still time, Cutter. We can offer you sanctuary. Not like in our literal home, but like- Not here, Cutter. But like out of physical sanctuary. There's pockets in the state where you'll be safe, Cutter. Here, take this map with us. Take this map, Cutter. Cutter Boggs. Take this map. And this ring. No, no, no. That's my hot dog tour map. No, no, no. I've got it somewhere. This is- Well, this is the map. It does say Sightings of Mothman, but it also has a path drawn on it that'll get you to some cool places. Wear a rhododendron upon your lapel, Cutter Boggs. That is how we will know you as one of ours. It feels so bad to be repeatedly just saying the name of this underage person that I guess just ended up in a bad- Dude, but this is not- This is a slamming situation. Listen, no. With this name, you could be famous at anything. I feel like there would be a famous basketball player named Cutter Boggs. Yes. Famous golf player. Golf. Golf. Cutter Boggs. Boxing. Boxing. Frankly, like some kind of like philanthropist, billionaire, playboy. You're set up to launch. You are set up to launch off this event. This is wild that you've- And I'm sorry it didn't go your way, but still. You're out of luck. It might be for the best. Might be for the best. I will also say, it makes me nervous to elevate people in this way, but Cutter Boggs is the West Virginia representative at Trump's Patriot Games. I think the only possibility is a reverse milkshake, Doug. It can only go- It can only get better from here, gang. It can only be like you're- Delighted. Still time, Cutter. Still time. Don't give up. Don't give up. This is an advice show. We're going to help people, not just Cutter Boggs. Goodbye, everybody. We won't stop until Travis left. Travis just fucking dipped, dude. He just checked out. I had to turn down the temperature in my office. He had to turn down the temperature in his office. So warm. We have hand signals for this shit that we have worked out. I did. I held up one minute. You did one. That's not going to turn the temperature down in my office. That's like, that's pointing up and you're like dedicating it to the Lord. We agreed on this. It can be two things. Okay. I make it colder for the Lord. You point down for temperature down. You do this. No, that's for the devil's coming. Okay. We talked about this. Devil always coming. On the cock. This fall, the devil comes on the cock. It's a show I'm pitching. Devil coming on the cock? You can't do that. No, no, no. It's being released by the cock. Do you understand? We're never going to work. We're never going to work again. There's thresholds and boundaries. In the devil? No. No, here on the show. My boss, so he works with a detective to solve mysteries using his devil powers. You're not going to believe the first question. My boss wants me to make and sell a show to Netflix. Awesome. I started a new job about five months ago, a social media manager for some local restaurants and venues. The pay isn't great, but hours are up to me. My boss has some pretty wacky requests, but I'm now being told he wants me and one other co-worker to film a comedy competition of local people trying stand-up and sell it to Netflix. I'm not going to believe the first question. Fuck yes, dude. The venue is based in a village of 600 people. The wider region is about 50,000 people. The budget we have been given is $50,000. Give each of them a dollar. What? The budget we've been given is $50,000. That's including the prize money. How do I approach a clearly deluded boss? Is this a test on how far he can go before someone says no? That's from apparently a TV producer. We'd all like to think that we're going to be in a movie. You think that ridiculous request is our test? Yeah. It's not. No, no. This is a thing that this person wants. They're not going to give you $50,000. This stinks of AI to me. This stinks of the boss is like, hey, AI, I had this idea. Is it good? AI's like, sounds good to me, boss. How much? 50 Gs? Cash it. Do I have to pay it? No, you're going to. Do I have to pay it? Love it. Awesome. Great. I don't have money. Open up the disc tray. I'll print it out. I'll print out as many monies as you need. I would not watch it. I would not watch a show about open mic people trying to make it. Fuck, Travis. I was trying to guess how that sentence went in, knowing you as long as I have it. I could not fathom the fucking answer. We found it. We found the one show. The one show Travis won't watch. Well, what I would watch is a show about trying to make a show where people do stand up in a 600 person town and you're trying to make a show out of that. Yes. You're basically wanting Nirvana the band, the show, the documentary. Yeah. Real life. Yeah. Reality. Reality TV is ready for this love, this meta layer. We're ready to step beyond it. Knowing that Big Brother's doing like time portals and shit like that, like that's awesome. But it's we've also reached the limit of what is possible with what we currently accept about reality television. What we need now is planning reality television sort of events with a budget and whatever you don't spend of the budget, that's your prize money that you get to take home as the planner. That is the show I would. Absolutely watch. How are you going to get this thing together for two G's and then the other 48 that's your you pocket that immediately for the emotional turmoil. How would you split like you got 50, right? You got to come up with a prize. How would you allocate like what kind of prize would you allocate? A thousand dollars seems like a lot. First, a village of 600 people. I think if you stand up open mic night comedy and you could somehow win. I think if you do stand up open mic night comedy and you could somehow win. I don't. First of all, I also don't know how you win open mic night. Like that's a whole metric. You're going to have to work out judge o meter. But the only people who go to see open mic nights are also competing in the open mic. Yeah, but this this at this one, you're coming to see a TV show being filmed. Oh, it's a completely different experience. They got the people with the boards that are what all, you know, action. Have them voted out like Survivor. Have the other comedians assume there will be some. There will be. Oh, the comedians vote off other comedians. The old comedians. The only issue with that is that the cream is not going to rise to the top. I don't think in that situation, Trent. Yeah, I'm not watching it for the comedy, Griffin. I'm watching the drama. Yeah. I can you get Christopher Guest to do that? Maybe the 50,000. Maybe you set 45, 45 apart for the Christopher Guest spot. No, it's not a guest spot. He's going to need to run this whole thing because he's able to find for a special guest. He's able to find. No, like Christopher producer. But that's not a fucking joke. That's like not anything. Do you understand? He's behind the show. He's making it and he's making it with and he's finding all he's finding all the great stories and introducing. I quit. I quit the show. This is it. Wow. Yeah. We all wanted to know. 827. Mark it. Time of death. Wow. 827. Oh, the number of the episode. Episode 827. Sorry, Griffin. You were saying he would be in charge of making. No. Are you back or is it just me? I'm here. Yeah. No. I mean, I'll finish the episode out for sure. Oh, that's a we got sponsors. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For the sponsors. We do it for the sponsors. Sure. He'll hang in there just as long as we have sponsors. I'm back. I want a 10% raise. Say yes now or I'm gone again. Yeah. I'm a fickle kitty. I'm a fickle street cat. Don't fuck around with my car. There is one person in this whole equation I want to see a TV show about. and it's the person who thought this was a good idea. You simply need To turn the camera on the boss for free and say, tell me about some other very good ideas that you have. Yes. And let's just follow that thread wherever it leads. Like, this person's a superstar. Yeah. Like, I want to know what their next big idea is. And I'm on board. I just think you've got to chase the story. And the story of this documentary is, huh? Huh? Do it? Huh? The cool thing, too, because you would be doing this on Netflix, which easy, easy to get a show on Netflix. We've done it hundreds of times. Right. Is you could end. There's no set episode length, right? So you could end each episode the moment you see realization dawn on your boss's face that what they're describing is a bad idea. And the episode just goes till that moment hits and immediately cut to credits. Right. That could be huge. Short. Tell me. And how? Would we do that? And, like, let boss keep talking and talking until they're like, had a bit. Huh? Now, listen. Credits. We have a unique experience opportunity to offer this person, which is that we have pitched to Netflix before. A couple of times. I was going to say the frustrating thing about this is you could get all this right and actually get to the point where Netflix is like, we got to get you guys out to La La Land. Right. And get at a sit down. And then you'll go into Netflix's HQ. And it's this scary. This is the scariest goddamn place you've ever been in. Fucking so scary. They got Oscars just in the lobby. Oscars in the lobby. Big cardboard. Here's some Oscars. Big cardboard beat bugs. Fucking chilling. Huge beat bugs. Huge. They just have Jim McGorgons walk by the window and wave at you to big time you. Is that the Jim McGorgon? The rooms are named after more popular Netflix shows? As if to remind you that they don't need you? Towering statues of Millie Bobby Brown. Towering. Like twin colossi. and they all say life size which i've never seen billy bob never seen her in person billy bobby brown in real life i don't know how tall she is some people call me 11 it's cool what voice i'm curious about billy bob bobby brown oh i see i see i see i got you now i got you yeah it's and then you it is a very it's a hugely scary place that some of them are we've pitched shows pitched shows at a lot of different places uh and some of them are a little less threatening they're all different some are chill vibes dude yeah hulu they had snacks and a and a charger vending machine that you could get chargers out of uh-huh cool we none of them bought the shows none of them bought i said pitch didn't i yeah i said pitched not caught not sold the cock kind of bought it uh the cock yeah the cock let it let it dangle let it the cock let it hang out upstairs to see if other situations would work out yeah it was sort of a situation shit yeah yeah how about the next question we had a longer history than peacock with peacock than most of the people that we were in meetings with like we had been at peacock longer than well we're company men we're nbc boys you there's nothing we like more than being shuffled off by nbc that's it uh my guys it's just my i gotta tell you now that we're on the other end of it it was just my launch pad to get on american ninja warrior you must understand that this whole thing was just to get my foot in the door so that i can then use that foot to propel myself through obstacles uh my dasher just got stopped by jehovah's witnesses outside my house they saw me they're gonna knock on my door next and know that i'm actually home and ignoring them what do i do that's from pretending i'm not here in pack this this may not be the best starting point for this but i've come to a very powerful realization and it's a rude realization it's out of step i think for the rest of my character and how i like to live my life but if someone comes to your door and knocks on it and they can even see you they see you inside you got all the windows open and you're partying you don't have to go you don't have to answer it did you know this if someone comes to your door and they have a hat on and the hat says like we're the tree tree planters deluxe or like hella magazine subscriptions uh incorporated and you see that you think i don't actually need that i'm not gonna waste that person's time i'm not gonna waste my own time certainly and subject myself to an uncomfortable sort of sales pitch situation i'm just gonna keep fucking chilling there's no there's nothing anyone can do about that i had a terrible situation yesterday where one time a couple years ago people came to the house and sydney was the one who answered the door and they tricked her into bug treatments and i don't know if it was a trick i don't know if you need these bug treatments or not but these people come every month and i don't know what they're doing they take care of sick bugs they take care of this one too physically and emotionally and emotional welfare for the better comfort them as well yesterday they rang the doorbell why why any bugs in there i went up yeah bugs today sir no i went up and i opened it and they were like we're here for your monthly treatment and i was like okay and they said because it's raining we're leaving it up to the customers as to what we do leave what the fuck i said what and he said well because of the rain and we don't want to make stains and so we're just kind of leaving it up to each customer so just want to know what you what you wanted us to do i don't know what these cats do on a good day right i don't know what they do on a sunny day and that like also why did they come then why did you come come why did you call you should look like an asshole on the phone could you is anyone gonna respond to that i want the stains stain the stain me up huh tell me more up scotty i said i leave it to your good judgment because that's the only that's the truth what would you do in my situation i don't know i regretted opening the door i shouldn't have opened the door you don't have to open the door they're not gonna smash in through the ah you have to let me sell you trees like you don't have to get cops aren't gonna come smash in did you not answer the door for this guy he saw you had solar panels but he wanted to put solar panels on top of those solar yeah and it sucks that you didn't answer it it's i think it's against the law let me check the law book i have uh two beautiful dogs that bark when people knock at the door and for a long time i considered that a frustration oh i wish my dogs didn't bark when someone knocks at the door but then i realized my dog's making quite a ruckus when someone knocks at the door gives me this like inherent like hey person knocking at my door that i don't know you have already inconvenienced me and i haven't you've been open the door yet yeah they've already taken something from you you are on the back foot so now i can crack the door and be like what no i can't uh and then close the door and like that's a gift though that's all i can do right it works um i hit him with a lot of it's done i'm sorry just kids are huge for this it'd be like i can't man i just got i'm making my kids dinner right now i can't like no one's gonna be like stop making your kids dinner stop making your kids dinner right this exact moment i've also just turned around and walked inside well that's ruder than not answering the door man well this is after i try to end like oh no thank you i'm not interested oh well but let me tell you more about i'm like no and i just walk inside now listen i don't want to stymie the economy any more than i already have sorry everyone for all the inflation and stuff yeah griffin we've been meaning to talk to you about that i'm not the type of person that could put up a sign outside of my home that says like no solicitors or anything like that that feels like i don't know gross to me i guess classist perhaps in a way now or this house protected by smith and wesson that kind of thing well that's obviously an enormous escalation from what i was saying yeah i'm just saying mine is like a sign that i think normal you don't like signs that say like we don't call 9-1-1 we just shoot yeah yeah something like that i don't think this is like if you ring this doorbell i'm gonna kill you michael yeah yeah those signs are so man those people really hate when people come yeah i have a shotgun loaded it's low it's pointing through the mail slot so this better be good or else i'm gonna kevin mccallister your dick off yeah i'll make you a real sticky bandit in your pants when i shoot your dick off with this shotgun i have ready it's a huge sign it's a huge banner that waves from above your listen i don't want to destroy the economy i'm not saying put out of sanity says no solicitors what we should normalize is signs that say what you are interested in buying oh so like say like some solicitors see below and then below that you're gonna have other signs that say like i mean candy bars always snacks pretty much always if you come to my door and you're selling snacks and it's like for your band or whatever yeah like i'll get absolutely 100 of the time i'll put some real flyers out there like if you have retro video game i don't know why you'd be going door to door with those it's unlikely but i'm just thinking of stuff that i want more of in my home and it's a pretty it's a pretty small list i would also accept if the pitch people had like some harold hill level like they've got Got a whole shtick and a suitcase full of brushes or vacuum cleaners. And they're going to do a whole like- Oh, that's good. They're going to do a rainbow vacuum demonstration. Suitcases only then. Just like only suitcase solicit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if they can do it in kind of a powder song thing that really enchants me and makes me buy 76 trombones or something. Oh, man. I'd do it. Yeah, I want that kind of magic in my life. You know the song in The Music Man isn't him trying to sell someone 76 trombones, right? You know it's not him. It's not him. Well, not just 76 trombones. It's a huge parade he's describing. 110 cornets. Yeah. He's not like, come buy my five dozen trombones, please. Griffin, now be careful, dude. How much is five dozen? Five dozen. That's easy, Justin. Now listen, you got in a lot of hot water on TikTok recently for messing up how many five dozen is. In that TikTok about Gaston eating eggs. It's 60. It created a huge internet firestorm. Five dozen is, man, can we talk about the comments in that one? I don't know we've ever stepped in it as bad because it was the bit where we talked about. So we, interestingly, we, yeah, I don't. Well, no, not me miscounting how much five dozen is. Five dozen is 60, obviously. So this would be six and a half dozen. Six and a third dozen. Eggs, trombones. The eggs thing. We said it's, it's weird to go through at the grocery store and you look through the cartons and if you see one with a bad egg, can you swap it into another carton and put a good egg in there to make a dozen good eggs? We said, no, no one does that. Put it back and look for a better carton. Guys, I don't know if you've checked out the discourse in the comments of this post, but there's people who feel very strongly about this in both directions. What are they saying? Well, I mean, there's a lot of people and maybe this should be the authoritative source. There's people in the comments who work at, in grocery stores and like, yes, do it. What do you think we're going to do? Throw away 11 good eggs? Like when they expire because one is cracked in the carton, you mix them all up and then you leave it open. And then when someone comes by who works for the grocery store, they see an open carton with 12 broken eggs. They know this is a, this one's done. This, this, that we, the, the, the trash can here of eggs. We put that away. We're not just going to throw away 11 good eggs. How are they going to get, get sold? Okay. Yeah, but I'm not getting paid to do that. But here's the thing is that people were pissed off at us for it, for saying, for saying these things. People got mad at us? People got mad at us for saying to just put it back and make it someone else's problem. I understand now looking at it through that lens, how it could seem like not the, not the most tasteful. I think we're in a, of, of one mind. I think we're in an accord, but so this is, I guess one of our more public service announcements. You can absolutely swap the eggs around. The people at the grocery store like it. Yeah. I'm going to make a strong stance and say that whatever way you, the listener feel about this, I agree with you. I would actually, if we could infringe on our listeners again, specifically our grocery store, I always wonder about this. Do you want people to bring the carts back or do you like going outside? Cool. Yeah. Good question. I mean, like, would you prefer if there's a bunch of carts out there so you can go out and vape or do you want me to bring the cart back? What's the nice thing about that? What's the nicer thing? What's the better part of Valor, I guess? Like, cause I always thought you bring it back to the cart to make it easier for the person who has to come out and get the cart. So it's just like, and to not hit the, and not hit other people's things. Right. Yeah. But maybe like, that's a pretty good gig. Cool. Chill part. If you get out, like obviously weather permitting. Right. When I was, when I worked at PetSmart, I was like a, like a merch manager or something. And I was talking with like the manager of the store and I was looking through like the supplies you can order for the store. And our parking lot didn't have a cart corral thing. And I was like, oh, we should get one of those. And he said with such confidence and assuredness, oh, people don't like that. And I, that I was left speechless. There's so much stuff we don't know. There's so much wonderful things we don't know that we should, that we could learn about that we should know. I don't know. Maybe this is the new farm wisdom is grocery store guidance. I would like to, yeah. You know, I'd like to hear from our grocery store workers I, I, they're, they're, I don't know. Is there a way to know when the sprayers are about to come on at the produce section? So I don't get blasted. It makes like rainforest thunderstorm noises. Yeah. They do that at the Kroger on at the cha-cha. This is a perfect example of privilege, right? They do it at the cha-cha Kroger. So you think it's normal. You go to, you go to West End Kroger, the first street Kroger. They don't know. There's someone waiting there with a camera on the produce and a switch. That will launch the pressurized water at you. If you lean too far over the broccolis. Uh, let's take a break. Let's head over to the money zone. Yeah. Yes. Let's do it. Every time that you have an idea, people tell you to go get a journal and write it down. That's the popular wisdom. But I'm going to tell you something a little bit different. Cool. What if every time you had an idea, you made a square? Space website about it. Hi, my name is Justin McElroy and I'm a paid endorser for square space. And if you haven't made a website with square space yet, it is time to see what you've been missing. Whatever thought you have. Now, Justin, be careful with this because I'm on this call too. This is a, this is my new tagline, right? First thought, best thought website. First off square space, square space, whatever the first thing that you think of. Yeah. Say puff marshmallow, man. Whatever it is. First thing. I can't just website. Okay. But like, what if my fit, what if my like idea is like Hershey's chocolate, Hershey's chocolate website? Well, no, I can't. Here's my idea. I'm registering Hershey. I'm going to what is his, he, his, his chocolate, his, his, his, his chocolate, his, his, for men, for men, advanced chocolate for dudes. Yeah. His chocolate for men, sponsored by old spice. So go to square space. You're going to register dude chalk. And you're going to start designing and it's going to be so easy because they have beautiful templates and like drag and drop technology for you to like, I don't know, make it look like, you know what you're doing website design wise, but really square space knows what they're doing. The thing that you know how to do is to use the right thing for this. And it is, you don't need, you don't need a big fancy website design degree. Square space is going to help you through every step of the process. Yeah. And they got real people to support you. If you need support, they'll support you. They got you. They'll let you commit fraud saying you have a website design degree and you show them the website you made on square space. And you're like, yeah, I did all this. Square space says you're allowed to do that. Yep. I don't love fraud. They don't love fraud. I'll say they love fraud. I don't know. But a square space. Did you say they love frog? They don't love that commercial man. Head to square space.com slash my brother for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code my brother to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. You've heard of aura farming, but have you heard of aura framing? Hi, I'm Travis McGrory, a youth. And I want to tell you about aura frames. The best way to aura farm. It's almost there. So God, honestly, like at first I was like, eh, then I was like, huh. And now I'm like, oh, there's an opportunity here. Yeah. Yeah. There's something. There isn't because I didn't have anywhere to go with it is the problem. I thought of words look very similar. Yeah. Yeah. I thought of aura or a farming. And then it was like. Hard day out in the fields, farming your aura. Yes. Want to rest at home and like a comfortable recliner looking at pictures of family and friends and good times as they scroll past on your aura frame and you sip. Oh, what's a cool thing to sit? Mountain Dew Baja Blast. Right. I love that. My aura frame cycles through a lot of great family memories, and I find it's a really great conversation starter. We keep in the living room and as it goes through, we see pictures from our family's history and people will ask us about them. It's a great opportunity to like reminisce and talk about days gone by. Just don't put any nudes on there. Okay. Yeah. So or frames is a great, we're making so many jokes about what is essentially an amazing pro amazing product and talking about, I wasn't making a joke. I said, it's a great chance to reminisce and talk about the thing about nudes. You said the thing about don't put nudes on. I assume that was edited out. I have to assume you can't say stuff, assuming it's going to get edited out. It's such a huge danger. Okay. Then I'll just write it down, I guess, in a little notebook. Like what do you want me to do? You have these thoughts. They have to be expressed. Justin already said whispered into a jar. Make an express list website about it? It's Justin's cancellation jar. It's Justin's blackmail jar. Crack it open in case of emergencies. These things are great. They're great gifts for me. I love them. I love them. I love them. I love them. I love them. I love them. I love them. They're great. They're great gifts for people who aren't so tech savvy, because you can set up all the photos and stuff before they even ship and they're really, really good digital picture frames. I have a couple of them. I don't even know how they fit all the photos in there. Yeah. Another great question. Also, you can upload the photos directly from your phone through the Aura app and I do that all the time. We get home from taking a family trip somewhere or whatever fun thing we were doing and just immediately put them on there before you forget. Maybe the kids are busy. Kids are being bad and you gotta sneak a photo of Babadook on there. options so check out aura frames named number one by wire cutter you can save now by visiting oraframes.com for a limited time listeners can get 35 off select frames plus free shipping with code my brother that's a-u-r-a frames.com promo code my brother all one word support the show by mentioning us at checkout terms and conditions apply i want to munch squad i want to munch squad welcome to munch squad it's a podcast within a podcast profiling the latest and greatest in brand eating this one push i got two the first one's just a little bit more of a show but i'm gonna do it again the first one's just a little bit more of a show but i'm gonna do it again now i'm gonna close this press release it says our chicken sandwich has arrived declare your allegiance i'm not gonna tell you who's done this you're gonna have to tell me who's done this i mean i'm just trying to remember i feel like most people gotta leave the brand out of it okay seven years after a viral the arrogance of this is people have died i have to remind people that the chicken sandwich wars did claim a life right at least one seven years at least one at least one that we know of forget the shattered homes seven years after a viral debate reshaped the conversation around chicken sandwiches is inviting fans to officially declare their allegiance with the launch of its long awaited new crispy chicken sandwich have they had chicken sandwiches before yeah this is gonna be the best one apparently juicy and hand breaded crispy chicken sandwich is also available in deluxe featuring lettuce and tomato and for a limited time nashville hot hey if you sell one and then also launch alongside a deluxe that is an admission of weakness from the jump yeah justin can i make a guess yeah are you ready to make a guess yes i am chick fil a they travis true at kathy for all of his complicated positions didn't invent the trick the chicken sandwich so i will i asked if they had chicken sandwiches before and you said yes after years spent perfecting the recipe i didn't even clock that you asked that question i don't know what i said yes to travis honestly after years spent perfecting the recipe is confident its newest menu offering is the best chicken sandwich around now the iconic american chicken chain or sorry the iconic american restaurant chain is inviting devoted chicken sandwich loyalists to put that claim to the test and declare their allegiance so they are playing in the vocabulary of war yeah they know what they're doing from the august 17th to the 23rd at participating locations guests are invited to try crispy deluxe or nashville hot chicken sandwich with a buy one get one free offer upon request so you have to say specifically i'll have a free one thanks okay for the last seven years chicken sandwich fans have been picking sides and we've been behind the scenes perfecting our crispy chicken sandwich recipe says betty schmant and this might be giving might be giving a little bit too much away if i say betty schmant but it is betty schmant ceo and president of we know chicken sandwich loyalties run deep but we believe one bite will win fans over it's that good we're confident that once you try it you will declare your loyalty to this new chicken sandwich lineup arrived seven years after the now infamous you good tweet sparked a feeding frenzy in fast food drive-thrus this is a history in a press release of a tweet and they don't even say who it's about in fast food drive-thrus across the country and redefined how americans talk about chicken sandwiches the fun doesn't end with the first bite blank is inviting fans to make it official at a website where they can share an official loyalty pledge to this new chicken sandwich for a chance to have it yeah join the draft trap trap their their hand their instagram handles will be proudly inducted into the a and w hall of heroes what's a and w slash slash database a and w you guys the fucking root beer rest can you imagine if you're in casual conversation with some of your nearest and dearest and the topic of chicken sandwiches comes up and one lunatic leans forward and says best i ever had was an w oh is that the answer to the to the i i yes i mentioned at the end there and i've been saying it repeatedly a and w guys fucking a and you have to go to the closed charleston town center to have the best chicken sandwich in america it's right next to a shuttered orange julia's there's a spot and w a spot betwixt i believe cincinnati and columbus where there's a combination a and w and like long john silvers i could go yes it's a combo a and w and like uh flying j gas station how many a and w restaurants are there how many a or w restaurants are there i'm going to say in the uh contiguous united states in the contiguous united states oh i thought you were asking your computer i didn't know you were asking no i'm asking you guys 73 73 jesus that's i would say 50 nice even 50 so there's 850 of these motherfuckers in america where where are they they're all right look behind you look behind you inside every abandoned mall there's 25 a and w restaurants that's the back rooms the back rooms contains the a and w yeah so if you guys go to aw allegiance nope you dot com yeah you can you can declare guys go to the website because it is like this it's like a hand it's like how to spell oh wow this is true they are truly appropriating some iconography that feels uh insensitive i'll say not just in the context that they are making light oh my god of an actual war that led to human the extinguishing of human lives but also i don't know man i feel like if i saw a group of people walking down the street wearing this pin you know and i couldn't read the part on the pin where it mentions chicken sandwiches i would think this is one of them marches this is one of them bad marches here's how you declare your allegiance here's how you do it you make a pledge to a and w in the comment section of our rivals instagram page that's what you do you go you go so thirsty it's another another companies and you type into their comments a and w has got my vote right w is where i hang my hat jesus christ then you then you swing by your hometown a and w for buy one get one free chicken sandwiches august 17th to 23rd so let me just is there a causal link between these two events you have to at the register of the a and w show where you hopped into the hardy's chat and said some shit uh trying to get some shit going and then they're like awesome buy one chicken sandwich and we'll give you a bonus one right now or if you ask for it you'll probably just do it right yeah i think they'll let you buy a sandwich one way or the other there is a message that you that you can uh copy to just to say oh my god okay so that okay so you copy a message and after you press a button to copy a message you go to one of the rivals popeyes or chick-fil-a oh my god yeah it's right there on the website they got their names right there i mean they blurred them out but that i mean it's the worst blur ever it's clearly popeyes i'm gonna go i'm supposed to go to chick-fil-a and i'm gonna go to their comments and their first um and i'm gonna see if anybody has done this at all doesn't look like it doesn't look like it i'm gonna be the first i'm gonna be the first person if i'm logged into instagram if i'm not there it is okay a ball's in your court now and w put me on your wall of heroes i await i await my plaudits i'm the only one who's done it i'm probably the most powerful person in the mw company right now help me out you'll be a general justin to thank you you are their chicken caesar this would be like cece's pizza putting out a new promotion where it's like you guys still you guys like pizza rat um we're doing a whole pizza rat thing it's a come and chew chomp down pizza like it's 2019 hey salt bae more like don't do this no it is it is a it is a pretty wild press release that they will just say like seven we're seven years late seven years too late we get it we get it we get it we get it we get it it's all right it's fine it's fine it's fine but doug was on vacation when it happened and he just came in and he was like guys i got a great idea we just he really wanted to do one so like just here's the question is what color is the dress that's the only thing yeah and it's just one question we told him we would do it so just like real quick let's just like what does david do after dentist he goes to basket happens just like yeah like yanni or laurel you guys know what i mean come on charlie charlie bent my finger and then he ate our pop guy the popeyes chicken uh tenders fuck hey thank you so much for listening to our podcast it's my brother my brother me an advice show for the modern era but you knew that already because i say it at the beginning unless you tuned in in the middle which i don't even know sometimes they catch us by surprise hey coming up october 9th at the town hall in nyc the besties live on broadway get your tickets bit.ly slash besties on broadway come see us there will be show tunes uh flashy outfits maybe hey story and song the last task balance graphic novel adaptation written by us and dad and illustrated by carrie peach it's out now the adventure zone comic.com is where you can go to grab it uh we're we're so proud of it and uh i bet if you listen to task balance you're gonna be real into it got some new merch in the merch store we got that stick with it big boy card designed by uh maddie vyan uh and 10 of all of our merch proceeds this month will also be donated to native women lead which revolutionizes systems and inspires innovation by investing in native women in business uh again all of our merch over at mackleroymerch.com have you thrown the frish's big boy i haven't no i haven't i got my own and he's like rubber so he'll be okay if i want maybe i did throw the big boy is there a griffin throw your big boy i'll throw my big boy it might be i gotta tell you though gang i did move baradur behind my desk and so now the the stakes could be higher because i've got like an a 7 000 piece lego joint like right there that if i hit that's weeks that's weeks did you get that did you get that big boy at the peddler mall did i get this big boy at the peddler mall yes i got my big boy at the peddler mall too might be the same big boy maybe we should lose your big boy griffin no i have it but if we've already thrown a big boy i got my college diploma don't no it's got like a case on it throw your big boy you you you This is a nice sized college diploma i can throw this and try not to break baradur you could get some you could get some damage with that yeah for sure yeah i'll probably throw it flat sort of frisbee style not like wait griffin throw it nonchalantly over your shoulder towards baradur you're right yeah but don't look what don't look no look i'm not gonna throw it over my shoulder and destroy so i'll throw it over your shoulder like a continental soldier look at all of this shit that's on my desk would destroy it just frobo would destroy that yeah mr frobo fuck this is gonna suck i hate this i think we're good i think it actually went good actually i think that actually went so good it's almost went bad though that was really actually compelling tv we should only do it this way from now on because the stakes are pretty high for all of us we all have stuff behind us that we do not want to break this is the new shit gang that was good my name finally we found a compelling end to my brother my brother and me it only took us 800 and 27 episodes my name is just i'm travis akroyd i'm griffin makaroy this has been my brother my brother and me kiss your dad square on the lips it's better it's better with you it's better with you maximum fun a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you