MBMBaM 822: Cheddars Never Win

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sex expert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? What do you think it's the start of something beautiful? A small quaintant has blossomed, it's wrapping into a precious pension. I could have never seen what was coming for me, hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach, my life, it feels like. My life, it's better, it's better with you. This is true, it's better, it's better with you. My life, it's better with you. Hello everybody, welcome to my brother and my brother and me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What about travel nation, it's me, your middle of the private travel speak dog, wolf of room, room, the heater, award-winning McElroy? Hey, welcome to Dickhead, I'm Griffin, and I'm about to pour this whole thing a hot coffee right on my crotch and weiner. Here I go! Wait, what's Dickhead? So you guys know how the jackass guys are done now? The jackass guys say, they're doing their final movie because they're all, it's too dangerous for them to, like, keep doing it. I will say me shopping. I know they're older than me, and my body is so brittle that sitting in a desk chair has given me back brow bones. Well, they've got hardened bones from the preceding stunts and tricks. The Weapon X stuff, yeah. But I'm thinking now there's a power vacuum and we fill it in. The three of us have been doing rowdy boy comedy for a while now. The only thing we've been missing is the only thing we've been missing is pain and hurt and hurting and making funny stuff happen by jumping off of things or into things with our bodies, putting a scorpion on our butts. We've bumped up against it by playing video games incorrectly for us that kind of passes as, like, no, struggle or, like, difficulty. Do you remember we went on that hike and my knees started to hurt? Does that count? Yeah, I mean, I still wake up in cold sweats thinking about when your knees hurt at that one time for sure. So there's that comedy though. Is that pain comedy? Is that comedy? Some people liked it in the comments. It wasn't our biggest YouTube video, but people seemed to enjoy it. Yeah, but that seemed like kind of a shodden for it, a kind of enjoyment, not like a hub hub hub, how funny. But that's the secret of dickhead. That's the secret to dickhead. And it's honestly something I think we can iterate on that the Jack A, as we used to call them in church, guys, do, which is that you like them. For the most part, they're pretty likable dudes. And so when Steve would, Steve would put the scorpion on Chris Pontius' butt and it climbs in his butt hole and pokes him from the inside out, you're laughing, but you're also feeling kind of bad because it's like these are nice guys. On dickhead, we can be fucking unlikable jags. And then when the scorpion climbs in our butt, maybe even two scorpions, I've been talking with the team. They think it's, they think it's doable. People will be fucking stupid. There's CTI though. I want the real stuff. What you need is the funnel that can handle that kind of action, you know what I mean? Dude, my stinkter would destroy a scorpion if it did not have some sort of protective passage passageway. So what you're saying is what we will deliver with the head is the ability to laugh and feel no remorse at what happens to us because we're terrible people. That's what other people will have. We will feel remorse because of the terrible pain. And there will be a bad transition period probably for the first three or four D head movies until our bones get strong like the jacket guys. I saw the jacket guys or one of the old, the wizard in charge of everything that's our impressario of the jacket. John Knoxville, there's Jesus. Johnny Knoxville, Johnny Knoxville. He does sound like the, that would be a great name for a dirt bag wizard for a D&D campaign. My name is John Knoxville. Yeah, as he ages, I feel like he looks like a cool modern wizard. I don't know. That's the association I made my head. I saw him on an interview and he was talking about how incredible it was that Steve Oh has like sobered up for as long as he has. And they were like, you know, you guys used to go in the paint really hard doing the show. And John Knoxville's like, let me stop you just to clarify something. We never, when we were filming and doing stunts, the rule was nobody could, you couldn't be on any substances while you're doing stunts. You couldn't be under any influence at all because, you know, it's dangerous enough doing that stuff without your senses being told. And I would just, I was watching that and I thought, I don't think that's right. I was watching that show a lot growing up and I saw the gentleman on it and saw how they were comporting themselves in their day-to-day like adventures as they did this. I'm not sure, Mr. Rosswell's maybe legally speaking and for insurance purposes, he has had to tow this line for quite some time. I can't imagine. I don't think that's exactly right. I can't imagine what the insurance obtaining process for jackass was like when they would go to, like, we're going to get a new movie. We need to get in and they go into somebody's office. And they would probably have to do hours of research to be like, who's the least in touch with pop culture insurance adjuster we could buy. And then they go in their office like, hello, we're going to make a movie. They don't say the title, they just say, it's the new film from Dick House, and we'll be doing Dick House project. And you know they bring, he would probably bring. We're calling it J.A.5, but there's no reason. I think they put the Johnny. No, no, no, please. Johnny would probably bring in one of the sweeter, more straight-edge members of the crew to meet the loan officer, to get the movie funded, I think. We would not bring in a stevo, he would probably bring in like a Preston Lacey or perhaps a man. Yeah, indeed. I also think J.A.M. into your point. I bet that there was like a secret unspoken line of like, these pranks and stunts are okay to do on a substance. We're going to cross that line, and we don't exactly know what it is, but we know when we see it, of this one. We need to go with this one. And I would surprise you, animal stuff. You can be high as a fucking kite. But if you're swimming in a public place, if you're jumping into the LA canal for instance, no, you can't be. You mustn't be. It's a weird, we have a hole. Here's your handbook. We'll go into the team. It's a case by case when you can have stuff. Here on Dickhead, we can be as fated and fucked up as we want to, guys. We're going to need to. Perga sets, any kind of painkillers. I don't want to shoot it. I don't want to get hurt on it. Travis and I can't talk about it. I thought about getting hurt on my body and I don't actually want to. Let's just do advice and stuff. Yeah. Just like usual. No problem. He made my kidneys throb thinking about it. I don't know if that's anything. First. Don't ever say that word on this shit. I don't ever want to hear it again. Okay. End of sentence. Kidneys. I was working in my office at my manufacturing job. When an older contractor I've worked with occasionally walked into my office and asked how I was doing. Yeah. Fine. I respond. Expecting him to ask about any projects he can help with. Instead he says, I wrote a song. Out quit. Baffled. I asked what he meant. He pulls out his phone and placed it on my desk. And Christian Contemporary AI Generated Music. Let me think about the order of. That's a cool. That's a cool five words. Christian. I think we need contemporary AI generated. Okay. Good. Yes. It's the order. You know what I mean? The order. I love Christ first. Christ first and all things. Obviously. That's the model of this show. It hasn't been for seven years. Centaxically. I don't think Christ first. Centaxically. Yes. Centaxically. Yes. Centaxically. Centaxically. I think you go color size age quality. No. Cycric red dog. Big red dog. Color for size first. Then color. Right. We got to put the AI first in these clauses. So I can ignore the rest of the clause. Yeah. I wanted off. I was already so excited about Christian Contemporary that, ah, man. Places on my desk. Yeah. Yeah. So we got the AI Christian generate. A.I. Generated. Christ generated. Christ centric. Christ centric. A.I. Generated. Christ centric. A.I. Generated. Christ centric. That's the new tagline of this podcast. We're making some big fucking changes around here. Christ centric. Get AI generated. It sucks. The AI generated. It started first. Then it pivoted towards Christ. It was already too late. Yeah. I don't know where it got it. It was already a platform. They get saved. I'm going to actually, I'm going to plant a flag and a thing I just came up with so that people can't actually use it. AI Christian Music Company called God in the Machine. But I'm going to create a lot of that. Holy Ghost in the Machine was right there, but you didn't want that. Which one? Holy Ghost in the Machine. No, I was going with Deus Ex Machina. God in the Machine. Oh, I thought you were doing a ghost in the, like it. Okay. But we can do a Holy Ghost in the Machine too. We'll take all of them. Deus Ex Machina means God in the Machine. You know that, right? Yeah. Deus God. Okay. So I said God in the Machine. Right. It is AI. You're taking hearted Jason in that place and I think it's taking all of them. Let's go on. - What if we were to do the branding after, I'll finish the question. - Yeah. - We'll do a bit of comedy for another, oh, I don't know, 50 minutes. - Okay. - And then we can figure this out. Is that our spitball in our business meaning where we steal things from other people? Okay, yes, yes, yes. - So, and Christian contemporary, AI generated music blast out of his phone full volume. For the next four minutes, I stared at the phone, nodding my head while he stared at me. I had to extricate myself three times with brief questions and anecdotes as signals that I had heard enough, but they were not received. He told me after the song was over that he had two more songs he had written and it was working on others. What could I do to take control of the situation that it's hard to make it less comfortable for myself? Sorry, less uncomfortable for myself. Important distinction. While maintaining the core of this first run. - I love this shit, man. When this person, and when it happens again, that's from not quite Hillsong in the Hills of Tennessee. - This thing too. - One of the things we talk about on Schmienner's a lot is that etiquette and stuff has gotten a bad rap as being like a judgemental process. But really, it was originally like seen as like, listen, social situations are so awkward and stuff and like nobody knows what they're doing. We have laid out rules that it's like, here's what you need to do, and then you can like leave or whatever. And we as a society need to establish a rule that whether it's your song, someone else's whatever, that you wanna play for a friend, you get one verse and one chorus, and then you have to pause the song. They can ask to hear the rest of it. - You should be allowed to ask how much, how much. When your friends like, when you hear the song I wrote, you should be allowed to say, tell me how much of the song, how much, how many different sort of sections of the song, how many stanzas. - Four minutes in, four matches too long. - It slows down. - I don't wanna listen to a song I like with you for four minutes. - No. - Literally, your AI generated music. - Being observed and perceived to see if you're enjoying it. - No, that's hard. - That's hard, pass. - You. - What, okay. I was gonna suggest this next time you-- - This Christmas song is put me in hell. Sorry, go ahead. - I was gonna suggest that next time you play some AI generated like, devil music. - Awesome. - For Satan. - Yeah. - But you don't want, you obviously don't wanna AI generate music. So, maybe we could, like generate some devil music. - So we'll pretend all the AI could put on. - Yeah. - That you'd be like, "Oh, I wrote a song too." And they played this that we do. - Okay. - And it's like, "Will you give me the prompt?" "Will you feed me the prompt?" - And I'll be the AI voice that's like, yeah. - Okay. Sorry to say, hey, Jeeps, please generate, is that what you say? Does Jeeps generate one death metal song? "Hard as fuck." - And he-- - That's a capital. - Devil centric. - Devil centric. - Devil centric. Don't make it sound AI. Make it sound like a real song. - Yeah. - And also stuff about like, burning down a convention and kicking over churches and throwing bibles into garbage disposal. Stuff like that. - You have to click cent. You have to submit it. - Oh, okay. Oh, it's asking a amount of effort. Is that-- - Say 100. - High? 100% maximum effort. - 100% maximum effort. - Yeah, that was on, okay. - I love Deadpool. - So, maximum effort. - Yeah, man. Absolutely, Justin. That's a fun idea. We'll get started cooking on your death metal hell song. Just as soon as you let me know what death is. (laughs) So they don't know. They explain that they don't know that there's a lot. - So that's a really good bit, Griffin. What I was suggesting is that we could just make some music. - I got you. - And then they could play the music of the day. - I thought that my name was more achievable than us creating anything that sounded like this. - Maybe something that's like this, right? - The devil. He likes to eat your soul. And it makes me feel good when he does. Bibles suck, Bible suck, eat the rich. I liked Bible suck. - I was not in the part he's talking about that part rule. - The first part that I used to suck did. They're heavy, the pages are thin. And a lot of those things. - And why is that? - Now, listen though, listen. The first part of the song was very bad. And I'll tell you why is because if you get reliant, K, to sing what you're just saying, it could also be a Christian song. The devil wants to eat your soul. That's a threat to me. - But then it feels good when he does. - Yeah, for him, it should be, okay, if you reverse those and be like, it feels good when the devil gets your soul. It's way better than when God eats your soul. - Yeah, Jesus wants to steal your car. - Yeah, that's good. - Oh, that's cool. Yeah, I don't know. It makes it a little bit more timely. Like a lot of stuff in the Bible is kind of like ancient. So if you bring it up to the day like Jesus wants to steal your car, push a church into a holy ghost through in my credit score. Oh, a rhyme, that's good. That's good. - Well, I don't earn a car. - Score in car pretty close. I'm so sorry that you went through this. I've been trying to visualize what it would be like. I was thinking about it and I was thinking about how many people are gonna be in a similar, yeah, I mean, the idea that people are going to, it is sad that it hasn't occurred to me until this point, but the idea that people are gonna be generating art and then foicing upon others and forcing them to react to it. I mean, like, it's really unkind. I'm really sorry that you should be allowed. You should be allowed to bust out your AI agent when someone presents you with their AI-generated Christ-centric music. You should have an AI listener. An AI listener who can then you say, and what's a nice thing I can say to get this person off my fucking back? And then you let them go, good one. Absolutely. I'll get started on that. Why don't you just say, I'm gonna let my AI listen to your AI song. Just plug it right into the song. I'll leave. Like, you didn't write the song, so I shouldn't have to listen to it, right? I'll let my phone record it and I'll let it, the my AI guy in there. Yeah. And he'll probably deliver the song way faster than four minutes to an AI brain. Like, there's probably some way of him and coding it so it just sounds like. And then the AI is like, mm. I think that's what Silicon Valley was about. I didn't want it. Sick Huck. Yeah. I love that. I love Christy. I love Christy. I love Christy. I love Christy. I think that the catch-22 of this whole situation is the type of person that would both generate, contemporary Christian AI generated music and make you listen to it. It's also the type of person who has the least amount of awareness of what they're doing to the other person. Sure. There's nothing within them that's like, it is, it's their Travis, there's nothing within them. There's a void and oblivion in there. So what you do is when they come to play you their next song, you say, yeah, thank God, man. I don't know what it is, but that song you played with me before really makes me want to have a premarable sex and do all the drugs I can find. Awesome. What if you record the next time they play a song for you? You record the song. And then you put it into AI, however that happens. And you say, do this song again, but twice as long. And then you say, hey, I wrote a song, I want to play it for you. And then you play it and it's just their same song again, but like a lot more worse. Yeah. A lot more versus like it gets louder. Over the eight minutes, make it get louder and louder because your boss is going to start saying things like, this sounds a lot like my AI Jesus song. You need to make it get louder and louder and louder to drown out the kind of process. Could your boss, could you prompt your boss using these same incredible techniques? Could you prompt your boss to just keep generating longer, longer songs? Eventually, you don't have to work anymore. That is true. Eventually you can just full-time listen to music. This is an emotional labor that I don't know what their job is, but it sounds more exhausting than any form of employment. Last week and I attended a small gathering at my friend's sushi restaurant. He was celebrating being voted the top sushi restaurant in the area and he had some, let's hope they mean owning it. Because if you are a sushi restaurant and a person, that's like very, very painful. It sounds really living dishes. - Yeah, living dishes. - That's like, oh, maybe he serves it off of his nude body like they do in fancy parties and movies and television. - One of the items, okay, he had some food catered for the event. One of the items was a large shark cutery board who spread that was put together by a friend of his that does it professionally. There was one cheese on there in particular that I really enjoyed and as the night inevitably ended, that seems unnecessary. Most nights. - Most nights out. - Do. - There was a plenty of shark cutery to take home for anyone that wanted it. I took home a small bag of this cubed white heavenly cheese. The problem I'm having is how do I identify it? I eat a fair amount of cheese and I haven't been able to- (laughing) Yeah, sorry. I even asked my friend who has shark cutery boards and he said he would check with the person that made him but it has been radio silence. I still have some of the cheese left and we're now four days past the event. Would it be weird for me to bring the cheese into a local cheese counter specialty store or someone to know what the cheese is if this is- (laughing) I'm gonna get out in front of this one, okay? I'm not even. gonna finish the question. If you bring a block of food to any store and you say try this block of food, I don't know what it is. They will say no. Someone will agree to this. On the wrong side of this, my friend, it's the best cheese I've ever had. That's from Bri Wildard in Southern Oregon. Continue. Listen. Listen. There are people on this earth. Not everyone. Not every cheese monger you approach will be down for this. But there is a set of people for whom this sort of mystery. Sure. It is going to live this. Cheese is their life. They love cheese. And you've just brought them and said, hey, don't just be a cheese monger today. You're gonna be a mystery monger. And they're gonna help you solve this mystery with cheese science that they've never gotten to utilize before. It is gonna be a light in your eyes. Every cheese maniac is waiting for you to ask for their cheese help because they need a place to use those skills. So it feels like it was worthwhile. Do you know how many cop not a cop shows I've watched where someone with a specialty area has been brought in by the police to help solve a crime? What if there was a cop show where is a cheese monger who helps solve cheese related murders every week? There's just no way. I feel like every cheese monger has been in this situation so many times. And then it always ends the same way is the person looks at you very smugly and says, it wasn't cheese. And then it's like, okay, it was a block of white calculus again. Again, again, great. I feel for it again. You win. Okay. It wasn't cheese. Please leave. That was it. I wasted an afternoon. Chetters never win. Now what does that have to do with anything? I'm trying to think of a name for my cop not a cop TV show star an FBI detective and a cheese monger. Okay. All right. Can we do other stuff though? How about we finish this podcast? Okay. This is for the board meeting. Yeah. Yeah. I'll add it to the, I'll add it to the fucking agenda, but it's really piling up. We have our brain slab after, after we're always at peak performance after our brother and brother made. That's what we have our weekly brain. Our blue sky solution, the airing session. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I, I live my life searching for a mystery every day. I love a mystery. To the point where Doc came home from camp the other day and said, Father, as she's been instructed to call me today, we had to mystery at camp and said it exactly like that. And I loved it. And she told me that they were informed that one of their count counselors was kidnapped by the flying Dutchman. Oh, and the whole camp was working together to solve this mystery. And she and I went over the clues for 20 to 30 minutes. And it was the best part of my day. Just before we move on because we are who did it, which camp counselor was it? It was the flying Dutchman. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. So it was like a false. No. There was more about finding the flying Dutchman than like a Scooby Doo unmasking a counselor. I thought maybe one of the camp counselors was the flying Dutchman in the end. Holy shit. Just so you cracked it. I gotta go. Yeah, dude. God damn, dude. You're the smartest, you're the smartest nine-year-old live. Yeah. I gotta get it that camp. They need me. What would be bad is if you did take the cheese into the cheese monger and you're like, I can't stop thinking about this creamy white cube. Please, please help me out. And then they try it. And then they're like, it's Swiss or like, that's breed. Like they, it's such a fun cheese. I mean, of course it could not be cheese. That's what I've read that. You may be worth it on. Well, it would be worse if it's some rookie cheese. And then they're like, you don't know breed. Like that would be humiliating. I don't know that I could recover from that. It would be humiliating. But you could also look at that as a gift. You've just given that cheese monger to make them feel so superior in a way that maybe they don't get every day, right? Like that's nice. Right. Your humiliation is someone else's elevation. Yeah. I appreciate that this question asked her doesn't explicitly say the big problem. The big main issue with this is that we are on a time crunch here because every time they open the fridge and see one of those delicious cubes, they pop another one. You know they do. And they're like, I'm running out of research material. Some crime. The crime scene samples left. The crime scene has been thoroughly contaminated. They've had to take their fridge clothes to put a lot of them like, no, you don't fan. This is the lock up now. You got phillips forms to get the cheese out. Yes, I'll eat one cube a day. And now I'm cutting the cubes in half. I'm just eating it. I'm down to one quarter cube a day. I got a figure out what this stuff is. I've rationed myself. Is there an electron microscope in town that I could use? I've consumed a lot of the evidence. Cheese are huge. Something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Separated into its into its into its core components. But I guess it's just curds and curds away. I suppose. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No one really knows how cheese is made. Yeah. Few seeds. Few seeds. You can throw a seed or two in there. Cheese seeds. I feel like we didn't really help that person very much. But that's life sometimes. Yeah, be bold. Solve the case. Solve a bunch of cheese. Get it. Make your own charcuterie board and then compare and contrast. Wait, that's on the charcuterie store until they open and then say, what is this? How's your friend until you get the answer? Don't let this go. Bloodhound. I have bloodhound to sniff the cheese real good. And then he'll find the other cheese in the store. Don't let him eat the cheese. He'll get some of the cheese. Can we take a quick break? Yeah. I'd love to. Let's go to the money. If you have cats and you are struggling to monitor their eating, maybe they don't, you know, that you see them eat a bunch of dry foods. Not really a great form. You know, what about trying something that they're going to love? And then it is easy, right? And comes in a lot of great flavors like smooth burgers and smooth pig cheese. No, no, no, not small. Probably not. Smalls is a, here's what you do with smalls. Okay. You tell them, hey, I got a beautiful kitty. Can you send me some food for it? And they'll say, how big is your kitty? What kind of size? And they'll help you figure out a plan. So they're going to ship you a box. Your food comes frozen. It's ready to go 100% human-graded ingredients that you'd find in your fridge, which is where, I mean, that is where I find my cat food. Like, is in the fridge to be fair. But my cats love it. I used to do dry food and water for them. And I feel like I have a lot better control over what they're eating. I think their coats look healthier. They are at a healthy weight. And we're really a lot more in control of what they're eating than we did with the dry foods. And they like you more. Yeah, they like you more than half your weight less. They respect you more now. They appreciate me in a ways they never did. And if they could talk, they would say something like, thank you for the wet, Daddy. They would say things like, thank you for the wet. Thank you for the smooth wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Your cats, you're, give us smooth. Give us wet. Smooth pig. Smooth them up. Your cat's health and longevity starts with what they eat for a limited time because you are, my brother, my brother me listener, get 60% off your first order plus free shipping and free treats for life. When you head to smalls.com/mybrother, that's 60% off your first order plus free shipping and free treats for life. When you head to smalls.com/mybrother. This might surprise our listeners and you guys, but this is a big admission for me. I'm not the most responsible person on earth. I mean, I'm middle. I'm like, I'm the perfect middle. I'm the middleist, most responsible person on earth. And these days, do you know how easy it is to sign up for a thing? And you're like, yeah, I do just need this like one thing. I got like fill out this thing. I got to do this thing. And then I'll cancel it with like the free trials. And then it's like a year later and you paid like $860 total over the year for this thing. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. So I signed up for rocket money last year and the amount that I cancel. I was like, I think I'm going to start planning some big vacations. Thank you, Rocket money. Because monthly vacations because money. Yes, money was just bleeding out. Like I had a piggy bank that had multiple stab wounds and rocket money. So do I want to up for me and fix that for me. And not only that, another thing I love is rocket money gives me updates. One, when it's like, Hey, you've got ex many bills that are going to be paid this week or a big transaction just went through. So you can like check and see what it is. Make sure you're planning correctly and let you know like when deposits happen and stuff like that that lets you track everything and be able to like really set a rhythm for like spending and paying things off. And it has been incredibly helpful for me, making me feel like a financially responsible adult for the first time in my life. It's a fun walk down memory lane every time too. Because rocket money would be like, Hey, remember last year when you were like, I'm really going to take piano lessons. And I'm like, yeah, rocket money. I remember. And then just be free though. It's just a reminder and a helpful one because I spent a lot of money on the piano lessons. They can also help you cancel subscriptions, which is great when I don't know if listeners picked up on this either, but we can be somewhat socially awkward sometimes. And the idea of having to contact someone even in written form to say I no longer like to use their service, it gives me chills. So they ask what's wrong. They ask every time what do we do wrong? What do we do? And I'm like, I'd actually like two subscriptions. I'm so sorry. It's not you. It's me. But Rocky Money will just tell them. Rocky Money will be like, your shit wasn't good enough. And they don't let me down. You let Travis down. You let Travis down. And he hates your fucking guts. They won't do that. They are very nice people. He doesn't even want a free subscription to your site. That's don't ever talk to Travis ever fucking again. Like they go they go hard on them. Yeah. And they do that thing where they like crack their knuckles with one hand, you know, and then switch to make it seem like there is a threat there. But like what it is is unclear, you know what I mean? And I love that for them. Rocky Money is a personal finance out that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Glad Rocky Money helped you reach your financial goals faster. Join at RockyMoney.com/myBrother. That's RockyMoney.com/myBrother. RockyMoney.com/myBrother. I want a munch. But I want to munch. Bibles. Well, sorry. That's bad. You made that edge you're not going to ever have ruled. If I say what's the most unusual item in the world of fast food? There's probably a lot of different options. But I think the one that I tend to gravitate towards is the original chicken sandwich at BK. Okay. Because it's bad. And that's so interesting. Yeah. Because they have been doing this bad sandwich for 47 years now. They've been doing this bad sandwich. And it's crazy because sometimes they'll have better sandwiches on the menu. And they'll keep doing this wretched dusty old one. Is that a long one? That's the long one. Yeah. That's the famous dusty long one. What the burger beef? The burger beef. They're so explicit in how much care and time and patience goes into each one of these patties. And with the chicken one, it's just like, I don't know, man. Yeah. Get it hot. Throw it down. This was our first try and we nailed it right out of the gate. Yeah. And we had ordered so many of those frozen patties at the beginning, thinking these things were going to sell so fast. And here we are 47 years later and we're still working through that original order, digging through the pile of planks. We can't change it yet. We've still got so many planes. Burger King is giving guests even more ways to enjoy its famous original chicken sandwich with a launch of two additions to the lineup. That's where I, they've remembered this nasty guy. And they are now giving you the loaded jalapeno original chicken sandwich and the club original chicken sandwich. They're in good bacon after bad chicken, fill it with us restaurants. It's a sunk a sunk bacon fallacy on that. It's a sunk bacon cost. The main way to keep it going though is by eating it, right? Because I thought you were about to say that they're like, we've got to empower for them now. You can drink it. Yeah, you can just get it right here, man. You can you can email it. First introduced in 1979. The original chicken sandwich has been this is like the most damning with faint praise. I've ever heard a fast food place. The chicken sandwich has been a Burger King guest favorite for decades. Thanks to its unmistakable long shape, lightly breaded white meat, chicken shredded lettuce and tangy mayonnaise. Is there a shit good? Have you seen the shape of it? It's long. You cannot. Yeah, it is the one thing I remember about it. Yeah, right. Yeah. And the chicken is chicken. It's very crazy. And lettuce, did we mention it shredded? It shredded up to high heavens. I mean, the place called Burger King. What do you want from us? Yeah. It's a place called Burger King. Well, I don't know. Why are you coming in here asking for a chicken sandwich? We made it long so we wouldn't confuse it with the burgers. So what are they doing? Let me tell you, guests have continued to show their love for the iconic chicken sandwich, which I would argue if you're at Burger King and don't want a burger. I mean, I guess you do have to show your love for the chicken sandwich, which is why BK is bringing two new flavorful original chicken sandwich innovations to the menu for a limited time. I love when they use innovations like it's a scientific, we made a chicken club sandwich. We had our boys at R&D working on this one for six years. The chicken war armistice is so tenuous and so fragile to this day. Yeah. I get real jumpy when someone is just like, we're not in this is not this has nothing to do with the chicken sandwich wars. We're just making two new kick ass chicken sandwiches that are going to blow your fucking mind. That feels like an aggressive act. I think Griffin, the fact that they are continuing to stick with that dusty old chicken sandwich base is sort of like a Warsaw packed where it's like, we won't go, you know what I mean? Like we're not going to go a grandfather clause. Yeah. We can keep making our shitty chicken sandwiches. It's like even the year 2026 or two Warren countries were like, we came out with new models of biplanes. Like we've chosen, we've outdated biplanes because we did need to be working on something to keep the factories going. But this is not a threat to me. We may not even use them for war stuff. We may just cruise the beach. We made biplanes for a bride month. I'm not going to read you the description of the sandwiches, but I will read you how they both end, which is layered. I like that joke a lot, Travis. I want to hang a lantern on how much I enjoyed your joke just now layered on the signature long white meat chicken patty and iconic elongated sesame seed bud. Do they know how to describe something as food? They say delicious yet. The club chicken original sandwich, a familiar, but elevated take on the original featuring crispy bacon, melted swiss cheese, lettuce tomatoes, and creamy mayonnaise stacked on the signature long white meat chicken patty and iconic elongated sesame seed bud. Is it a good taste? Presbylances are usually so quick to be like, we got a new donkachino fucking taste so good, you're gonna know it. Burger King so far is only using the most kind of base line visual descriptors. Not since Christian contemporary AI generated by seeing these words in such a strange order before this really burying the lead. Are we sure we want to go with long white meat chicken patty? That's what we're going with. There's no fucking way, dude. Listen, I had to be so careful about the word. The last time we complimented the chicken sandwich, we were sued for lies. So what we've done here is put words that you cannot deny are true. The original chicken sandwich is a true Burger King icon that's been loved for its signature seasoning taste and you guessed it. Unmistakable shape since 1979. Do you love it because of the shape? I guess it's just, I don't know, it's more fun. That's from Joel Yashinsky, the CMO over there. There are ongoing guest listening initiative. We heard just how passionate fans are about this sandwich and how excited they are for new twists on it. Hmm. Hey, guess listening initiative is pretty neat. Would you like to hear about the same language? It sounds very 1984 to me, but it sounds like if you got the BK app on your phone and you checkmarked like share my whatever BK's like the King's listening. Oh, here we go. Oh, boy. That's the president of Burger King. It looks like, yeah, if you can call him, you can call him on the phone. It's been it's been an ongoing thing, but this is still going and I'm going to repeat this information because I've I'd like it. Yeah, Burger King has been is is taking guest feedback to the next level by positioning its president on the line. Guest can call or text the Burger King president Tom Curtis at 305 874 0520 to share their thoughts on the Burger King experience. Tom will personally take as many daily calls as possible. Yeah, and every message received will be reviewed and responded to helping to a form decisions across the business. Okay. Does he not do anything else? It stands in the lobby. His this picture looks like every single element of it is from a separate different photo. This is a composite. This is a photo sort of photo mosaic because we see a man composite man like every part of it. Yeah, yes, I mean, the computer monitor and computer arm mount look like. Yeah, I don't think that's he's at a standing desk and he's got a big dual monitor set up. It's actually I think the same exact setup that I have on my desk and despite the number of monitors he has, he is still doing a FaceTime on the phone. I'm sure he could figure out a way to field those on one of the two computers that he has, but there's also a coffee cup there. There's a third device by the way. Do you see this girlfriend? Sorry, behind the coffee cup. That is a third device. Yeah, laptop four screens pointed at him right now, but he also has a coffee cup here that says Burger King, but clearly it's it doesn't seem to have the same light sources everything else in the photograph and makes me think like that this was maybe a I don't know a coffee bean situation. The winter that Java joined. point. So agenda and status. That's what it says. I'm looking at his screen. You can enhance his screen. And it says, there you go. Agenda and status. And it says the item PR locked media plan locked TV locked organic. I can't. I don't know what that is a acronym. I don't know. There is no way. Is this a real chart? Are we to believe that this is this is the level of control this man has over the company. All he knows is what's is what's paid and what isn't paid. I mean, Pete, that man's fucking tabs juice. Zoom up a little bit because he's got his tabs up. Got a lot of tabs for a lot of tabs here. Boss, what you play him fucking cookie clicker in the background? My dude. What's going on? It also appears that he's working in the lobby. I'm gonna call him real quick while we're chatting. I call him up. No worries. Please don't do this. What if he is? I mean, I'll talk to him on the podcast. I mean, that would be a huge gift for us. Are you kidding me? That's true. And he's almost certainly on the West Coast. Right? Yeah. Wake his ass up. Wake his ass up. Wake his ass up. Bitch. I heard you're making new sammies for me. Keep him long bitch. Ask if he's been longer. Are you fucking off? It's 6.52 in the morning, California. Well, he's in Florida. 6.52 in the morning and on the West Coast. God. He'll be all right. Don't hang up. Hey, this is Justin Macquarie from my brother, my brother and me. I just wanted to say I would love a co-branding partnership with you guys. If you want to kick six figures, seven figures, whatever it is, we're ready for climate. I make the sandwich twice as long just in at mbmbm.com. Get at me with the same check. And I will make the sandwich. That's why I'm telling to make it wider, actually. Make it make it cross shaped. Make it make it a perfect manhole cover. One to one manhole cover. Thank you. Oh, the chicken fries are guys. You guys say it's recording. Oh, man, you didn't say it's recording. I don't know Florida's. What's Virginia's one party? Oh, cool. Awesome. You're all welcome as the home of having your way. Guess our most important visors. We're grateful as they provide the feedback that is shaping our brand today and in the future. So you this guy that people are calling them up and they must be saying, we love that dusty old joint. We love it. We love it, friends. Don't let them get rid of it. Joel. The only thing that will get better is more of them. Make it better with different, put different stuff on it so people like it better. Do you actually think people were blowing up his phone so much that he had to put down an in a way message? Or do you think maybe that was a, oh, easy way out? Because it seems like based on what I know on the half-baked sort of promotions that major fast food places do, the amount of participation in those events is actually quite limited. I think you should have been able to get a hold of Tom just now. Maybe you could be in Miami. Yeah, he's he should be able to answer my phone. I mean, it's they should have a caller ID if you're a podcaster. Like this is our big moment for brand stuff. How about another question? Okay. I have now on two separatocations had to DoorDash a toilet plunger to myself because I clog the toilet in a residence that does not possess one. Now, I am aware that sometimes it's on me for having said, I'm not gonna read this. It's vulgar. Big poops. Let's let's leave it. That's better. Yeah. However, it is not common practice to keep a plunger. However, is it not a common practice to keep a plunger around in case of toilet emergencies? Should I start keeping one in my car? Is it unsanitary to carry a travel plunger? And that's from Travis. What? Macquarie. No, it says it's from developing our complex in Cincinnati. So I just assumed it was it was from Travis. Yeah. Was that wrong? I don't poop anywhere but my own house. So it makes small pellets like a red wire easily where it's hugely flushable. Yeah, I listen, if it's not a common practice to keep a plunger around in case of why else do they exist? Yeah. No, I mean, it's it is I don't understand your point. I feel like it's it it is common practice have a plunger around but everybody makes mistakes. I don't think it's guys gonna your head. Do you have a plunger by every toilet in your home? Yes. The important ones. No, okay. You know what? I said yes with a lot of confidence. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. It's I don't know if I do or not. My kids will do stuff like they'll just take a plunger and I don't I don't throw it down the hill or something. I don't know where things go. It feels like they're the nail clippers, I think. It feels antiquated to me because it feels like toilet technology is advanced to a point where these things can really rip down whatever you're brewing and it doesn't need a whole lot of extra help. One time my friend Justin was visiting me in Chicago, not this Justin and after pooping in our toilet, he knocked over a lady's speed stick deodorant and it fell into the toilet hole and plugged it right up and then the guy had to come and deal with that. We did not have a plunger in this situation and it made things considerably worse. I don't know if a plunger would have helped their griff for prying a lady's speeds. The lady's speed stick was perfectly to if you're ever trying to remember how big is a lady's speed stick? Is the hole in the bottom of the toilet? Perfectly that. It when it fell in it went it made a perfect sort of vacuuming noise. Yeah, I think it would be pretty cool if you clogged a toilet and they didn't have a plunger and you went out to your car and you opened the trunk and sort of like in supernatural, but instead of weapons, it was just different plungers laid out in like a case. What's the measurement? What brand of toilet do you have? You pry the floor board and you flick a switch and John Wick style the walls open up. Yeah, I do have by all my toilets, one of the most brushes, because I don't fucking mess around. Leave home, don't even leave footprints, nothing, leave nothing. Leave no sign of your presence there or what dirty stuff you did. I got to have a brush by every by every commode. I do. I've always thought that there is a miss it, like see a need, fill a need kind of business innovation thing. A plunger and that scrubby brush. The second you use them, it occurs to you. I don't know what the next step again, cleansing the things you have to do. The only option is to put it in the toilet water to rinse it off. That's what the only thing you can do and then it's like, well, this is the dirtiest thing that exists. Yeah, there's nothing dirty about this. Yeah, so say that when you're in the bathroom, your phone's the dirtiest thing in there. Beg to fucking differ about my brush, dude. How much is it shitty brush that we use the shit water to clean the brush? It's crazy. It's crazy. It's made a second like just a bucket full of bleach, like they have in barber shops with a barbicide, but something like that for your toilet, accessories. Give me a little canteen of blue goo that I can dip that stuff into and then not even worry about it anymore. Then I just know whatever's in there is killing every evil thing. All right, all right, all the first. It does, they don't ask for very long, but the first like 20 flushes when it's just so blue. God damn, this couldn't be cleaner, man. All my sins are gone. It's like a mini golf course in here. It's beautiful. Yeah, it's like so good. It's so good. It feels like a kind of stuff they would have on the enterprise, right? That's what they flush with on the enterprise. I think that it is as a host. If there's not a toilet, if there's not a plunger next to the toilet and you need one, I think that's on the homeowner, agreed. I do wonder what the procedure is like once you realize the toilet is clogged, there is no plunger and you have placed an order from your local CVS. Are you just like late? Are you just like born born? You put in the door dash. You put in the door dash notes like delivery instructions. Bring it to the first floor west window. You will know what's going on outside and I'm going like this with my finger. That's where you hand it off. Do not ring the fucking doorbell. I'm here at my in-laws place. They cannot know. Also, hurry. I guarantee you, Griffin, if you're a door dash driver and you get an order for one plunger and nothing else, the hurry is implied. I got to go. Is that color you wanted? Are any of these colors okay? Yes, God damn you. Yes, I'd love to see that delivery confirmation picture too, just through the bed. You used shorts around your ankles holding it. Just take the picture. You got me a cyanide pill. Do they have those in CVS? Just one plunger of fake tubes I could bite you out on. Oh, man, I love when an order at the drug store when you're like checkout is a little short story and that's a hell of a one right there. One plunger. You know the deal. Delivered. I've seen so many life hack videos of like, don't have a plunger. Here's what you do. Get some saran wrap and some tape and you tape it around the bowl and then you push down on the saran wrap and with the vacuum force, it does fix it up. Now this is not going to be a good solution for you because you can't walk out of the bathroom and say, hey, can I get some saran wrap and tape because they're going to ask you what you need it. for. I would assume for toilet hacks, they may or may not know. They may not watch as much YouTube as you can say. It's like, it's a sexual thing. I'd rather not discuss it. Sexual. I'm going to be a parent guard outside the bathroom. Do you say, no, I'm sorry, I can't lie you in here. Or do you stay inside for 20 minutes while you wait for the delivery? Yeah. I'm asking you guys, you're in the situation. Yeah, no, I'm thinking about it. It's a rough hypothetical. I definitely wouldn't stand guard. I would probably, I think I'm a good enough actor that I could just walk out and then later when someone comes into the, comes out to the rest of the party and is like, who did this? I think I'm good enough at those like, where will mafia games? I think I could squeak through. I think I have about like, when the, when the door dash order is like, order for Griffin. I'm looking for a Griffin McElroy. I have his plunger. Yeah. No, that would be a big clue for the other guys, for sure. I bet even, I bet even the camp, the camp kids could crack that one. This is why, okay, second business idea, the question, a new delivery service. I'm going to call it instafart for now. We can brainstorm in the brain slam afterwards. Jesus Christ. And it's just for this scenario. And it will be delivered in a discreet, brown box, no labels. Travis, I got to tell you, man, it feels like the podcast that we do is an idea factory for you, because what you have just done is this person said, I don't have a plunger. Would it be weird to get a plunger? And your business is what if there was a place that brought you a plunger? Shark tank. I feel to me, this was a vehicle for shark tank and instafart, because what we said, the question was, what are you in this situation? Because I don't have a plunger. And we were like, well, what if you ordered a plunger for delivery from DoorDash? And then your business idea was a place that delivers plungers to your door. Do you understand that? My. Mine. Travis is, Travis is saying, yeah, we all ordered plungers from DoorDash, but should that procedure be a little bit more humane, a little bit kinder, maybe even magical? Hi, this is instafart. What if you are pitches? What if you could love your toilet plunger delivery service? And for an extra fee, the delivery driver will pose as a party guest and take the blame for the clog. Oh, that's good. I like that. We'll come. They should have people that will come and fix your plumbing for money, you know? Yeah. Okay, here's my business idea. Yeah. Travis. Travis, don't get me wrong. It's a kick ass business idea. I think I bristle at you calling it your business idea. We all cook. I feel like we cooked up this this nugget in the kitchen. Are you going to use it? No, I'm busy. Got other stuff. I'm not going to use it either, but I'm playing a flag on it and knowing it so someone else can't do it. Thank you so much for listening to this podcast right here. It's called my brother, my brother and me. We do it every week. And we're so happy that you're here and listening to it. This is an exciting week for us because the last adventure zone balance graphic novel story and song is coming out tomorrow. Like you can still pre-order it right now. If you listen to this on Monday, but if not, just got to please go buy it. God, please go buy some. Wow, it helps us so much when you buy it. That's a real, that's a real one, man. If you can buy a bunch of copies of it and tell everybody else to boy, I have a really huge book. It's quality shit. Front to back. I'm so proud of this book and it's crazy that it's out this week. So stoked. And along with that, we have a book release event this Thursday in Boston. There are still tickets on sale. If you want to grab those July 16th, 7 p.m. at the Shevelier Theater. Each ticket includes a signed paperback copy of story and song provided by Brookline Booksmith. It's on Mcroy.family. You can find it in the events page. And also the book is at theadventurezonecomic.com. If you just want to thank you, you want to grab a copy of it. We got some new merch in the merch store over at Mcroymerch.com. We got all buts, no government sticker. We got the Trevnation Centennial Celebration Mount Rushmore design. We got a bunch of other stuff happening over there. And 10% of all of our merch proceeds this month will also be donated to the Asian Pacific Environmental Network, which works to lead a transition away from an extractive economy based on profit and pollution in toward local, healthy and life-sustaining economies that benefit everyone. Hey, thanks to Montaine for the user hat theme song. My life is better with you. The music of Montaine is so terrific. May I also suggest following Montaine on any social platform that they may be on? It's a good, it's a good follow. Okay. A premium follow. I have this Champion's Grove, this Champion's Grove shield that Jacob 3D printed at Champion's Grove. This is thank you for an awesome weekend. I'm gonna throw that. I do, I do like that a lot. I attribute. I do like that a lot. I do worry. I think people enjoy this segment when it's something relatable. When they know like, oh, that's the sound of a big bag of life, say. Look at Sure SM58 microphone. I mean, we talk a lot about how the Sure SM58 can hammer in a nail and keep on ticking, but I would never really put the put the rubber through. I think it's time to throw a fucking Sure SM58. Don't be careful. I can throw it out because that thing is a man and we're going to throw a Sure SM58. It's the work force. Wait, let's ask Amanda if we can do it. Amanda, can we throw the Sure SM58, the workhorse? Yeah. Yeah. So that's fine. Fucking yeah. Fucking talking about. Now plug it in. Now plug that. Now plug it into your outro. Right now. I'm plug your unplug your unplug your shit. Plug that shit in and say your name. Because my name, well, let me tell you, my friends, is Justin McAroy. And my name is Travis McAroy. Still working. Still functioning. I'm Griffin McAroy. This has been my brother, my brother, make his your dad's square on the lips. Oh, it's better than you. Maximum fun. 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