MBMBaM 817: Shabby Dabby Doug

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sex expert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? What do you think? It's the start of something beautiful. A small quaintant has blossomed, it's wrapping into a precious friendship. I could have never seen what was coming for me, hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach, my life, it feels like. ♪ It's better, it's better with you ♪ ♪ It's better, it's better with you ♪ ♪ This is true, it's better, it's better with you ♪ ♪ It's better, it's better with you ♪ - Hello everybody, welcome to my brother and brother and me in a vice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McAroy. - What's up, Travis Nation? I'm your mother's brother, Travis Big Dog, woof woof, room, room, the heater, award-winning Big Dog McAroy. - Good morning, Travis Nation. It's me, your sweet baby brother, 30 under 30, media luminary, Griffin built for a tough McAroy. We don't do that one anymore. - You know, boys, sometimes the internet, you're not gonna believe this, lies to you. - Never gonna be bold claims. - And you'll see a story and you're like, there's no fucking way that's true. - Yeah, that is true. Every time I load up a website of a certain caliber, there's always a little ad to this side that's like Melissa McCarthy died. And I'm like, what? I click on it. - Every fucking time, but it's never true. They just want me to buy-- - It's a different Melissa McCarthy. It's like a 106 year old woman named Melissa. Well, so I had a story served to me on a platter and I was like, there's no way that's true. And then I did my own independent journalistic research and discovered it was true. And I would like to-- - You used to go on Nexus Lexus? - I was on Nexus, and I was going through the microphone. I was at the library scrolling through. Boys, the year is 1985. - Okay. - The only thing bigger than the Hollywood dreams of the piles of cocaine fueling those dreams. - Right. - Warren Beatty must make a Dick Tracy movie. He is driven. There's something within him that says, make a Dick Tracy movie. I thought it was like he was in deep-- - No, no, no. - Dick, the Dick Tracy estate, and had to, or else his family would be killed. - For some reason, this was a passionate project of Warren Beatty's. - Well, he looks so much like Goddamn Dick Tracy. He looks exactly like fucking Dick Tracy. If you look that much like Dick Tracy, you would also be stoked to get Dick Tracy off the ground. - He cannot find anyone to direct it. He's going to direct it himself, right? And start it and produce it. He buys the film and television rights from Tribune Media who owns Dick Tracy for $3 million. - That's a lot. Let me adjust that for inflation. $17 billion today. - Yeah, whoa, Griffith. - Yeah. Disney partners with Warren Beatty to make the movie. - Okay. - They are talking franchise. Disney's excited about this. This is going to become a film series. Then, as they're making the movie, the budget keeps creeping on up there. Get more and more and more and more expensive. - And Disney is like the success of Tim Burton's Batman. I think there was something in the blank check being given to old Mr. Tracy. - Oh, I've talked about it before. The Phantom, the Shadow, Dick Tracy. - It's all connected. - It's all tied together on our comedy podcast. - The movie comes out, it does okay. 134 million at that point in 1990. - Let me adjust. - Adjust again. - That's 19 1/2 billion dollars. - Watch me, Munchy. - 2000 million. - You would think because that number was so much more than three million that the resulting translation number would be much higher. - That's not how this movie stuff works. - 2009 Warren Beatty has owned the film and television rights to Dick Tracy for 19 years. - Yeah. - Trippie and media. Sews to get those film and television rights back. Disney, by this point, is like, we're not doing anything with this, gives their portion of the film and television rights over to Warren Beatty. - Gave him the dip. - He already had the Tracy. He already had the Tracy. Then, Trippie and media goes bankrupt. - So they get in there. - Yeah. - So the court awards the film and television rights to Warren Beatty on the condition that he must, every couple of years, use those to make a Dick Tracy project. - Okay, that seems like maybe not the best way to ensure quality of the thing. - Right, but it's actually a conventional deal. There's a lot of that user who lose it kind of what they're dealing in Hollywood. - So, in 2016, Warren Beatty, partnering with Turner Classic Movies, - Great. - Produces a Dick Tracy special that airs late, late, late, late at night. And it is an interview of Leonard Molden interviewing Warren Beatty as Dick Tracy. - Oh my goodness. Oh, how are you, Detective Tracy? - I'm fine. Call me Dick. - Try. - Shall I say do? - Please do, yes. - Maybe offer yourself a drink. - I didn't, I don't drink Mr. Molden. - I didn't sign up for this. - Yeah. - When I started doing this comedy, when I started doing this comedy podcast, I was not under the impression that I would have to watch Warren Beatty pretend to be Dick Tracy in an unscripted sort of jazz-like format. He also looks so much like the mask in his big yellow suit. - Travis, this is Warren Beatty pretending to be Dick Tracy in 2016. What a God-Screen Earth makes you think. I have a huffed huge giant lines of this guy already. I've been huffing this dude for a decade. - A decade, man. - I love this, I live for this video. - 2023, he does it again. Dick Tracy zooms in a special about the Dick Tracy special in which Warren Beatty-- - I've never seen this. - Yeah. - Damn it, okay, damn it. - It is a special about the special that was rated 2016. Once again, featuring, if I'm not mistaken, both the Warren Beatty as Dick Tracy and Warren Beatty as himself zooming into a call. - Yeah. - And then that's been, Ben McElwitz. - Yes. - Yes, that's Ben McElwitz. So, that was 2023. Is it every two years? Is that what you said? - Well, so I was 2016 and 2023. - So he's catching that. - He's like, I think he's trying to catch up for something that he didn't do. So here's my pitch. Mr. Beatty, I know you are a max fund member of my brother and my brother, me supporter. So I know you're listening. But you also know that you're getting up there in years. - Yeah. - When you die. - Are you doing with the Dick Tracy? - Picture this, your friends and family show up to your funeral, except surprise. It's a funeral for Dick Tracy. - That's awesome. - Oh my god. - And Warren Beatty is in the Dick Tracy costume in the coffin. There's paid actors there dressed as Dick Tracy's rogues gallery. - Is it a black top Jones? - Reboot a funeral. - I have to know now. - funeral. - Okay. - And it's, you got a big boy. You got no face or faceless. You've got mumbles. All of them there. - Yeah. - Shedding it here for. - The public domain, can we use him? - No, go ahead Chef, do your thing. - Big boy from outcasts is in the public domain. - Big boy from Tracy is not. Then the headstone at the grave reads Dick Tracy. You put up a live feed webcam pointed at that headstone in perpetuity. It is a Dick Tracy project in perpetuity. You will never lose the rights to Dick Tracy. - Okay. - Yeah. - They will be buried with you. Perhaps literally, I don't know how that works. - Travis, I have good news and bad news. - What? - I can't wait to hear this. - It's both, it's both actually. Dick Tracy enters the public domain on January 1st, 2027. So you're windowed to get this guy in the crowd. - Got it. - Cold ground. - Fightin' like Tom Jones in heaven. - The license is runnin'. - It's gotta be entirely fueled by spite. It's the thing that kills me. - Yeah. - It's not like he's not using them, right? He's making these specials. There's no one banging down his door to pay him $30 million for these rights. - Yeah. - He just doesn't want to give them up. The only problem with the Dick Tracy goin' into public domain is that it only applies to the very original version of the character in the original run. So your version does have to be an unrepentant racist. - Yeah. - 'Cause that is the only version of the character that is in the public domain. So he does have to be kind of like-- - Kind of like how you can do racist Mickey Mouse. - You have to do racist. - You have to be racist, or else it's not the same character. - Knowing this now that these rights like that it becomes public domain in 2027, I'm just, I'm worried about the day when Warren Beatty gets a letter from his attorney opens it up and misreads it as law law land. - Mm-hmm. That's funny. Do you guys drive what it's getting to that? - Yeah, that's not bad. - Travis is really tickled with this fucking five-year-old Oscar's reference. - It's not bad. - I'm so proud to go so. - Not bad, thank you. - I want to keep the jokes coming and talk to you guys. - Oh, okay. - It's not going to seem like jokes, but it is my life. So we're going to talk about it. It's your life. It's now or never. - My lizard that I had for a week died. - No. - You're kidding me. - No, yeah, it is, it is. And it is sad. I realized it last night and I was and am very sad about it. And I wanted to come to you guys to get some advice 'cause I know you do this advice show here. - Yeah, I don't know how to go about, you know, not just with everything, but like, especially with like, everybody's got a lot going on and it's pride. So like, I don't want to be slated. - You know what I mean, like, yeah, lizards have their own month. - Yeah, everybody's got a lot going on and it is pride and like, like, we're working really hard in like summer theater. So everybody here is like, really heads down my hat and like, dad's doing his show and like, I don't really know who to get to for, to get sympathy and how to approach getting sympathy for, I am sad about the lizard I had for a week. Like, yeah. Like, I don't know how to even ease that into the conversation really. - Right. - I'm gonna need a montage. - Explain yourself. - Explain yourself. - It's gonna be really bad though, 'cause it's just gonna be me trying to get it to eat crickets and then getting skived out by the crickets. - Yeah. - It's not like a lot of good times. - You didn't have like a lot of great moments with the lizard. - Yeah. - Could you like, photo show off? - Still very sad. Want to be clear, not based on anything. And I know, and this is probably what's hard about it, is that if I broke down on somebody about this lizard, they would probably need two and a half minutes before they were like, this is probably about other stuff. - Right. - I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, obviously. - But with the lizard, it's easier 'cause I didn't see that. - But it's like, this is very concrete. - Yeah. - I just need your sympathy about it, please. - For next time, Justin, when you get your next lizard. - Yeah. - Immediately film with really feels. - This is another huge issue, Travis, is that highly unmotivated. - Yeah. - To do so. - To sad. - Yeah, really, very sad. You can go, but Travis, if I can just finish one thought 'cause I am mourning, huge, just huge tank, unbelievably big, 'cause I expected a friend. - A long-term one. - You wanted growth. - I was prepared for long-term growth. - He needed his own zone. You had a little project Hail Mary situation. - You were dying enhancing that lizard. - Yeah, that's a growth market. - I really had a lot of faith. You know what I mean? And anyways, I read all the books. I feel like I did everything pretty good. And so I'm not really blaming myself. Again, certainly is tied up in other stuff. - I don't wanna get out there. - Yeah. - But the one mistake, the one mistake you made, feelings. The one mistake you made, Jamie, I was not filming for a montage of like you and the lizard having a picnic on the beach and like you have like a close-up POV of its face and like stop filming. - I don't like it. - Yeah, it's a grass trap, but like considering our lives, I do feel like a little bit robbed of the opportunity for like a lot of great content. - Lot of stuff. - And a lot of good. And that is a terrible way to think about it until you realize that I make content with my family. - So it's good. - So now it's beautiful. - Right. - You know, just pronounced a different way. It's content. You know, when you think about it. - That's good. - That's a trap. - That's really something. - Yeah. - But what's content? - I'm like talking to a family YouTuber. They're like, "Yes, I make my children content." (laughing) - Yes, yes, yes, my kids are in frequently daily make my children content. - Well, my kids make me content. Is the more content. - The kids make me content. - Right. They make me and everyone else content. - Content. - We make three dollars and 15 cents per million views from YouTube on their content. - The content is really important to me. - This is why I refuse to invest in such a paper thin animal. - Emotionally or like monetarily or? - Monetarily, mostly, but I mean, the emotional thing is that's probably not even gonna happen. But the financial side of things, I don't need to be two Gs in the whole supporting an animal who, again, is just a stiff wind. Where the lizard go? Wind, got 'em, big wind, got 'em. And then a bird got 'em before he even touched the grid. Like, no thanks, give me a toy doll. Give me a big boy who can't hurt, who can't get hurt. - I can actually clean up about this. - There was no threat of bird. Like there was no, I did a good job. - Yeah. - There was no bird. - No one thought there was threat of bird. Okay, lizard size sometimes is what you're saying. - Yeah, Griffin, that's why it's so hard to get sympathy about it. You're skipping to the end. Like, yes, agree. - If your pet turtle died, if your pet turtle died, people would be like, holy shit, how'd that even happen? - I told Cooper, yes, exactly. How did I even know they could die? I told Cooper that, like, it just happens. These things happen. That's nature, that's life sometimes. And by the way, she really, if there was any leftover sympathy, I feel like she turned over waterworks and was really kind of lapping at all. - Oh, dude. - You know what I mean? Like, there was not a lot of drops over, leftover for daddy. - Even though daddy's sadness about the lizard doesn't come out as big heaving tears. - It's more of a rot, a deep rot. - No, no, it was a big heaving tears, but it was the night before while they were in bed. But I felt sad again the next day. - Yeah, right. - And would've just loved a little extra, you know? - Yeah. - I just didn't know. - Justin, I went to first express sympathy for you and say, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. - I'm sorry for your loss. - Thank you. - He's finally eating crickets in heaven now. That's what Travis didn't take it seriously, did you? - You didn't take it seriously. And also, I never learned the gender because you have to candle their little nads to figure out what's what in there. And I just, I'm just very hung up 'cause Gryffin mentioned having a big pet turtle and nothing has ever seemed so right as Gryffin McRoy having a large pet turtle as a pet. - Having a turtle. - Dude, I've been thinking about it. - What if you saw a turtle right now crawl up on his lotion? - What if? - No, he'd be huge, dude. I get tick-tock content from this channel and it's this woman who has like a 400 pound, enormous turtle. And you know what this thing's favorite thing on earth to do is smash into all of her patio furniture. - Just absolutely fuck this woman's patio up. Every video is her like, - Hold on, stop, hold on, stop it. - As he just absolutely goes ham on some world market wicker chairs, just fucks them clean up, it's awesome. I would love that in my own. - Get you a big turtle. - Am I getting me a big turtle? Dress like a big turtle right now? - A little bit. I think you're right. - I'm saying, it's such a good fit. - It makes sense. - It makes a lot of sense. - But you don't have a big turtle already. - It's fucked up. - Maybe the thing that's missing in my life this whole time is a huge turtle. - That would be a huge max fun goal, I think, sometimes it's like griffin gets a turtle. - The more support we get, the more members, the bigger the turtle. - Oh. - If I could mention to you guys one of their little wrinkle, I discovered the situation when I went to feed the bearded dragon, one of the 500 roaches that I had just purchased. - Yeah, he did mention this just the other day, how many bugs you had bought and brought into your home. - I've had a roach of 500 crickets. - You're really kidding, Ron. This animal made you bring 1,000 bugs in your house. And guys, it brought 1,000 bugs in and died. And now I have, I had 1,000 and one pets, and I got 1,000. Which I guess in the grand scheme of pets is still pretty good. - Yeah, I mean, there's gotta be a way for you sales 1,000 bugs to never eaten. - Alive, living, alive. - The bugs. - All alive. - Yeah. - Not all alive. It's rough to be a bug, but they're doing okay. That's what the ride at Animal Kingdom, a Disney World was all about. You go in, you see a bug. - You see bury the bee, you see all the famous movie bugs. Like, oh shit, did you hear the news? - Yeah, man, Dave passed away last night, just from being a bug. - We didn't get in date, I guess. - I didn't get in date by a bigger bug, I guess. - They only eat the live ones, which is like, I hope that her pickiness was not her undoing. I did offer a lot of great live bugs, but I don't know. - Did the pet literally bought them from? - Have a return policy. - I wanted too many bugs. - Hey, Trav, I would have to ship them back. - This isn't exquisite. (laughing) - That's what it would be like. - Yes! - I may just smile again for the first time since the event. - I did, I just laughed for the first time. - Again, it's good. - I never thought I'd laugh again. - I never thought I'd laugh. - I think that's my first successfully deployed Monty Python reference. - Yeah. - It kind of made me laugh. - I'm ruined now, man. I'm gonna be dropping that shit all the time now. - Were you scared, like, going into it? Was there like- - Super scared. Which one did you, was it like the two wolves? - Yeah. - Which one? - Yeah. And you, hey, can I say you committed and you nailed it. - Yeah. - I committed. - A couple of weeks ago, I applied online for a job to be a delivery driver for a chain of ice cream shops. They recently reached out to me and asked if I would be free to chat and have a scoop of ice cream on us. Hmm, not a ice cream, but I'm not sure what to order in the context of a job interview. Should I get a single scoop in a cup? Should I go crazy, oh, should I go for a crazy combination of flavors or show off my creativity? Do I use a spoon? Should I politely refuse? Help me brothers. That's from scoop savvy and Seattle. Got me a spoon, right? What's the normal ice cream? There's additional info here. Okay, yes, my normal ice cream order is a double scoop of any two chocolatey flavors in a waffle cone with no spoon. Excellent, good choice. With no spoon is not an order. It's a lifestyle spoon. Hold the spoon. Hey, you know what? Order like that. I would hire you. You're like on the rocks. (laughing) On the cone. Straight up. Okay, I worked at an ice cream shop as my first job was at the country's best yogurt, which did suit not ice cream. Okay, so that little correction always comes about 0.75 seconds after I mentioned that it was primarily a frozen yogurt shop. They did have like 20 flavors of ice cream 'cause it was anytime anyone ordered ice cream at the country's best yogurt, I'd be like, "God damn it." Because the yogurt, you just go (blows kiss) with a little handle and then your job's done. And with the ice cream, you gotta (blows kiss) and always bum me out so much. - God, I missed you, you are. - Shit man, me too, pretty sweet job. This job is great. I love making content with my family and having so much creative freedom. This job doesn't let me eat free, fun-sized Snickers bars infinitively in the back room of the job while I play Nintendo DS. That's not an option here. - Do you want that? We could set that up for you. - Oh man, I'd be so bad. Don't trust me in a big room full of free Snickers 'cause I have sort of evidence that I can't be trusted. - You can't. - Question, I say you can't you, Cone. - Anything in a job interview? - Welcome, yeah. - Where you're like, it involves a lot of licking. - No, no one wants that. - I think if you're an ice cream delivery driver, I don't know, they want you to be punctual. - What you do, the ice cream situation is not so important. They want you to be punctual and they want you to not be kind of weird. And I'm afraid if you go with a certain ice cream or arrangement. All the worst, a little cake cone with a big swirl and you like, okay, I think they've gotten that you don't want it to get a cone, Griffin. - Yeah, I think they get it. - Okay. - I think they get that you shouldn't get it out. - Fucking three popsicles at the same time. - Okay, great. - Licking is out. We all get it out. - Don't lick anything at a job interview. It's pretty good. - Unless you're there to be an envelope sealer. - Yeah, they're not. - That's it. - They said it. So, I think that as a delivery driver, I want someone who doesn't hate ice cream, but I don't want to worry about them eating the product on the way there. - Yeah. - I was not screened for this particular trait. - I don't want you going to ham. The products are even sold. You're delivering it. I don't need you to sell. I don't need to see your enthusiastic about it. I need to see that you have a healthy respect for the product. Yeah, if it gets out that when you do a job interview at this company, let's call it the country's worst yogurt, and you roll up and they're like, have a scoop on us, but you're actually allowed to have a free double-fudgey double-blast Sunday with extra drippings on it. And you eat that and they're like, "You haven't said anything this whole interview. "You just don't know how yummy." And you're like, "Guess I don't get the job." Guess what? Next day, you're going to put on a wig. You're going to put on a big fake beard and you're going to come back in the next day for the next day. Hello, I'd like to interview for the job too. I am a great driver. Let me get a double-fudgey super duper blast with extra fucking drifts. That is an unemployed. They need a job, Griffin. You're not helping. You're going to get the job. Yeah, they need food. They have infinite ice cream. There we go. And there's hundreds and thousands as they can possibly fit in their pockets. Yeah, there's a lot of peanuts. You can get on their chairs. That's fruits and protein, baby. That's fruits and protein. Cones. How crazy do you think you can go with the toppings before they're like, actually, I think we're done here. I think the toppings are an instant fail. If you go for the cream, I've always looked at down on people who put toppings on their ice cream, which already contained nuts. What? Listen, the cream already is folded in with nuts and mullos and chocolate chippies and all kinds of wonderful-- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm just saying the cream has all kinds of great stuff in it. You're saying like, but what if it also had-- You can't make it's toppings up ice cream. You lunatic. Yeah, why would I say about cake? You don't have sugar in it. What are you super duper messy to? A lot of ice cream toppings. Guys, I worked at the country's best yoghurt. Who the fuck do you think you're fucking talking to right now? Guess what percentage of ice cream toppings are like on a fundamental level compromised by being rubbed all over smooth, cold, wet cream. The answer is almost all of them. Almost all of them. Try getting gummy bears on your ice cream. My kids do it every time and every time. I have to say, nope, those get rock hard and edible in gross. Don't fucking do it. But they do it all the time. I want to be the sort of person that just like waits till they get there and thinks, what kind of ice cream would I enjoy? And then they order that. And then the boss is like, huh, tell me about your order. And then you're like, I don't know, just what I felt like. I want to be that person. Where do I-- but the problem is once you've thought about it ahead of time, you're no longer that person. So what the fuck are you supposed to do? Not think about it. I-- yeah. I like to pretend to be that person. Yeah. But there's a voice at the back of my head is like, you know what you're getting. And I'm like, I don't know. Is this the new place? Maybe they have different flavors. And it's like, yeah. And then again, I look and I'm like, hmm. Oh, you know what is jumping out to me? Yeah. There's like chocolate peanut butter. Yeah. And it's like, that's what you were planning the whole fucking time. You knew that about peanut butter. You're right, Trev. Just like at Baskin Robbins. Just chocolate peanut butter. You know, there's Baskin Robbins on Howger was for sale for a little bit. Oh, really? Yeah, I was thinking about it. I was like, do you-- should I be an ice cream man? Should I be an ice cream man? What? I can show you the ropes, kid. Show you the ropes. I was worried, honestly. The reason I didn't do it is that I was worried that-- For the first of all, I don't know how to do that. Like, that's a-- that was a huge-- That doesn't stop you from doing other things. I'm not afraid, like, guys will do this thing, we're, like-- Like, so I just-- I don't know how to. So that's the one that's not me. The other thing is like-- Where's the ice cream come? Do you make the ice cream? Like, where's it fucking come from? I assume someone else took care of this. I just realized-- I saw in the future of, like, Baskin Robbins trying to tell me how to do it. I can't be in a fight with corporate all the time about the cool way I want to sell ice cream. You know to me, like, why would I call one the dirty Baskin Robbins? Yeah. So we're going to-- so we're going to Tim Robbins. We're going to Tim Robbins. It's a Tim Robbins team, Baskin Robbins. We're watching-- we got monitors for the kids. We got Shawshank going. Baskin Tim Robbins. Baskin Tim Robbins is a really tough man. It's so good all in. We got 1,000 bats in Tim Robbins. You got to try our double-fudgey, mystic river, a caribou streak, a cheesecake. It's so good. Do you want some timies on that? That's what we call sprinkles. Hey, Tim Robbins. I think you should leave. This is a Tim Robbins Baskin Robbins. Cool. We should take a break? Yeah, does that-- is that right? Yeah, it sounds good to me. OK. Let's take a quick commercial break. [MUSIC PLAYING] You want to get your money figured out. The first step is figuring out where it all is. Like awareness, right? Where is it all going? What it is, how it works. What it is, where is it going? Hey, money, get back here. Where are you guys going? Well, here's your answer. It's rocket money. Yes, rocket money. Hey, check out my finances. Tell me about my little money soldiers. Where are they going off the battle? I want to know, where are they fighting? Where maybe I don't need to-- maybe there's a subscription you forgot about, or 20, that maybe you don't need to be sending your money to anymore. Well, you can just kill. Maybe that's already dead in this scenario. Like you're sending-- Wait, I'm trying to follow justice. You're sending your money to soldiers. It's like a soldier's money. Listen, I watched a lot of Shark Tank and money's soldiers. OK, money is troops. Where is basically for money? Where is everything? Where is how? Where is money? Where is money changes? But it does have change and dollars in it. Rocket money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions. You monitor your spending, and it helps you lower your bills. So you can grow your savings. I mean, that's not complicated, guys. That's just rocket money. They categorize your spendings for you so you can look and see where you're whether you've deployed SEAL Team 6. The world's most elite. That's your credit card. Group. Your credit card is SEAL Team 6. Elite operatives doing the dirty work that keeps America. I'm trying to be a part of it. I'm trying to be a part of it, big boy. I love you. That's not a part of it, man. I love you so much. Have you noticed how everybody is putting 250-- we could all get a hand on that, ball, huh? I saw Doritos extreme garlic Parmesan America is 250, which like, fuck, fair play Doritos. It's like, absolutely, man. We should do another episode 250. Yeah. Yeah. (laughs) Awesome. Rocket money would probably think that's a great idea 'cause of how much money we would make on it and rocket money is always telling us you guys are spitting your money in such a wild way. You told us to stop you if you tried to spend money this way and we would just letting you know we're concerned. But yeah, I've actually used Rocket money a lot and it always catches my kids. I've had subscriptions in the dragnet. I guess their fingerprint is close enough to mine that they can authorize Apple ID purchases sometimes. Or if they do all you're sleeping or they do walk over to you grab your thing, boom. Yeah, so yeah, thank you. Thank you rocket money for sponsoring the show and everyone should use it if you want to keep your money straight. Let rocket money help you reach your financial goals faster join at rocket money dot com slash my brother. That's rocket money dot com slash my brother one last time rocket money dot com slash my brother. Wouldn't you guys think don't you think it'd be cool if in Fallout 5 it started with them saying like turns out sometimes war changes and then it's like bionic sharks are fighting the war that you have to fight and you're like a psychopath with that. Yeah, big change would be fucking cool are frames makes the perfect gift for any occasion even if that occasion is letting someone know how important they are to you. How much they mean to you because you can constantly be adding new things to it new pictures even like little video clips or whatever. Sometimes my kids scare the shit out of me by hitting play on a video when I didn't know they were standing by the or a frame and suddenly always starts coming out of it. And I think I'm being attacked but I'm not it's great. I love it. You need to have fewer videos of men yelling and chasing like strangers meant you put them on the or a frame because it couldn't be easier to put stuff on or frame if it's someone else's that doesn't know how to do technology stuff you can like manage it for like for your dad if he's maybe not so great a technology for Father's Day it would it would fill that mean don't put videos of men screaming and yelling his name that they're going to get him and that they know what he did. Even if it's pleasant screaming you can still be off putting you don't mean I don't need people cheering for me for sitting down only beautiful memories of you and them and your loved ones and quiet men and quiet men whispering your name. Yeah quiet whispering men load up your dad's or a frame for Father's Day with quiet whispering men Dennis were not Dennis were not going to get you. You know how your dad loves the lost you can recreate the lost experience for your dad by filling his or a frame with quiet whispering men yeah just occasionally whisper some gibberish. We don't know what you did Dennis. No one's talking about one. You're safe. You're so safe. Bigfoot loves you. Something like that you know name number one by wire cutter you can save now by visiting or a frames dot com for a limited time listeners can get $35 off their best selling cover Matt frame with code my brother. That's a you are a frames dot com promo code my brother support the show by mentioning us at checkout terms and conditions apply. I want to watch what's podcast within a podcast the thermostat is heating up. And I couldn't be more excited over here. Okay hop on and America's ice cream providers are also very excited I just want to talk about the summer of America please please I beggin you kiss our magazine stop showing me the pop up for that pizza they don't have it in my area I want to eat it very bad. These are the first one I want to tell you a travel this is a local interest story. That I wanted to hear graders baby guess what graders is doing for 2026 now of course. These are the they're celebrating America's 250th okay or the cherry sparkler. That's crafted to celebrate the nation's 250th birthday this wild cherry ice cream combines red and blue popping candy folded into every star spangled scoop. Now if it was in graders I would question how that possibly holds up. Yeah thing that dissolves when it hits moisture. Yeah yeah in a nice but it's graders and I trust them don't think you're not but trap here's the really excited one ghost notes. Oh I know about this. I saw this. Go ahead trap Kings Island is bringing back the Phantom theater holy shit. And this is the greatest Phantom theater ice cream tie in. So it's ghost notes celebrate King of Ireland's new ride Phantom theater opening nightmare very quick history on this ride I'm going to try to do it from memory so apologies if I mess any of the steps up it starts out as Phantom theater which is a no dark star of its moves. Yes God Travis you're right oh that's all the way back to the hand of our integration right okay so it's a dark ride is first and then they lose that license and then it becomes Phantom theater right. And then they get the Scooby Doo license with paramount with paramount and then it becomes boot Scooby Doo boot blasters on Boo Hill. Yep right sucked. And then they lose the Scooby Doo thing so then it's just a bunch of people that kind of look like Scooby Doo people. You know it's the gang Harry and Frank and all for me. And then they get the Phantom theater opening nightmare and the mice her back at very cool good news good news. You can get it ghost notes right now trap so make sure you bring me a pint Carvelle is a chain that's not been a big presence in our neck of the woods in West Virginia but I I do want to tell you they are celebrating America. Good with the USA Carvalanche that's Carvelle soft serve mixed with red white and blue M&M candies. Okay those are an edge case they are a little harder to get through in an ice cold context but they do I mean the candy shell does a lot of work. One thing I wanted to highlight here that is a new trend for summer that I've not seen before but two places are doing it which is the side eye celebration of the World Cup without actually mentioning it there is a limited edition. A big game kind of play yeah there's a limited edition the big cup the limited edition soccer themed ice cream cake created for summer soccer viewing occasions. Okay that could be you know yeah sure Baskin Robbins by the way for June not July we don't know what they're doing for the 250th yet but they're launching football fireworks. Not to be that he's a football day in North America now this is football the classical the brands June flavor the month is made for super fans soccer moms local legends and aspiring stars like weird that we're still just taking gendered strays just from nowhere right we're just like randomly like Hey Bob yeah you know what mom is right that's don't give a shit about soccer what what are you talking what he means okay it's a winning combo of sweet cream soda ice cream cherry flavored sherbet with bonus assists from green apple and blue raspberry popping candy plus blue raspberry swirls to as a as a as a as a beverage as a sweet tree that's too much shit as a little representation of America on its quarter millennial I think this it's not bad this pretty accurate I think for the state of things now but what about the king Wait is that a drink what is that a drink no is this flavor of the month for June okay I was so worried that I was going to be sipping on my soda through straw and a popping candy would shoot up through the straw and hit me and make my heart explode you know milkshake would be a boss pole if you want to be a delivery driver for an ice cream place because that's on the go right but ice cream based but you can only get it at the store so they know they have power it is the hardest thing to make to guys I got so jacked making milkshakes it I miss how are you making it were you churning it yeah man you have one of those fucking things in the big metal cup and you had to blend a lot of really really suggested pantomimes and I have never been particularly aware of that shit but our pivot to video that we've made 12 years too late is like really illuminating to me that I just do a lot of jerk off motions when pretending to do other sort of tasks yeah you don't know you're hanging out with our kids okay one last quick check in on burger king going absolutely wild for the for July there's three new summer menu items first is the loaded jalapeno wapper it's an all new guest creation it's a 100% flamethrough beef with crispy pickled jalapenos layered with creamy jalapenos sauce, and then the other stuff that's usually there. And it says delivering the spicy kick guests have been asking for. So that's good news. Can I ask what the 100% is representing in the phrase 100% grilled beef because it comes anymore? So it's just straight up. So it's a 100% beef grilled. A 100% grilled beef makes me think that you have every 100% flamethrough beef is the flame. The flame was turned up to 100% for like 20 seconds and then flamethrough are at the end. It's 100%. Yeah. Because every bit of this thing is grilled. It's grilled. It's grilled. We have a special test Iraq that we put it in that's able to grill it from every angle at once. Why is my beef patty like 10% the size that is supposed to well the 100% grilling it reduces. There's no moisture in that. It's a meat loss. Yeah. Where's the beef? The beef is the beef is in the cloud. The beef is just kind of we evaporated the digitized the beef for your convenience. Next up is the orange dream sickle Friesie King. Yep. Oh yeah. Yeah. No, listen guys. Don't just like Pavlov stocks over here Friesie King is the new home for our frozen innovation. The first time that one of these brands decided that they were launching a drink platform. We should have stopped them like Mick Cosmic all of that shit. We should have said no, you cannot have bubbles by Captain D's you know what I mean like you can't do it. You can just have drinks. It's not a new home for frozen innovation. It's a new lever on the fucking slushy machine. Stop it. No, I will get. I listen to my hog side that I get about an orange cream sickle thing describing a beverage as an innovation. Yeah. Unless there's some new cybernetic way of consuming it that makes it so like I look at the drink and I'm I've drunk it or something. It's not an innovation. It's just a different flavor of drink. But what about the birthday? What about the B day? We got the firecracker cookie pie. A chilled crunch experience. Firecracker cookie pie. That's a three different words man. Firecracker cookie pie is a chilled crunch experience that layers velvety cream over a crisp sugar cookie crust top with red, white and blue star shaped sprinkles to celebrate America's 250th birthday. It's a chilled crunch experience. Yeah. Honey, you look different. Yeah, I. Yeah. I. It's just I had a chilled crunch experience today. I. I don't know. It's changed. It's my core. It's I'm looking at things there. I colors just aren't as bright anymore. And I don't find joy in you where the children's face is. It's just the same. Griffin, I just texted you the this quote from Joel Yashinsky because if I read it, you guys are going to think I read it wrong. Okay. As the weather heats up, we know our guests are craving for fun flavors that they and experience and share. Said what? Sorry, say it again. That they and experience and share said Julia Shinsky chief marketing officer burger king you. Right. Whether they're looking for a full meal or a sweet or savory snack, these new limited time menu items deliver the type of innovation guests with a capital chief for some reason have been looking for and we're continuing to listen and give them what they want. There, I said what you wanted me to say it. Please let me go set me free says Dave David that Joel says it's getting hotter so we make colder things. And if you want to eat a lot or a little bit, we'll do it. No problem. Let us fucking know, man, just let us know and we're going to keep doing this. Okay. You keep saying whatever. And we'll do it. And they experience and share and they and experience please stop complaining about our food. We are trying to make it as good as we can. Do you guys know how hard it is? We don't know how to do it better. It's better than spending more money to do it like if we get to do it, but like we have to grill 100% of this goddamn thing. Yeah. You don't know a lot of that tags per burger forever. If you all would stop eating the middle 10% egreedy pigs, then we wouldn't have to cook it. That's the hardest part of it. 90% around it. And stop telling us you want more chicken fries as a joke because you keep doing it and we keep bringing them back and then no one orders it. No one orders it and you send us a note that's like, "Ha ha ha, got you again." No one likes chicken fries idiot. We've got her chicken fries. With all the chicken fries we have left. Jim needed a house and we didn't have money because we spent it on chicken fries. We spent it all on chicken fries. You ruin this guy's fucking life with your chicken fries, Frank. Fire cracker cookie pie. I'm thinking about that. It sounds like the title of it. Let the mother fucker burn fire cracker cookie pie bird. I went more. It sounds like a rave track that one might get from like you might hear on like a RuPaul's drag race. Like a Rebecca Black just sort of one for the one for for dancing and forgetting about it. My boyfriend is a horology nerd and so I've bought him a pocket watch and a miniature grand father clock. I'm trying to put together with the word horology means from context glue time. Time. Time. Time. I'm not going to look it up. The only problem is the only problem is they both have mechanical movements. These clocks tick loudly. How can I disguise or suppress the sound of them at night when he sleeps at mine so it's not to spoil his gifts. I know the easiest thing would be to stop them but mechanical clocks work best when they run consistently and I can't afford the service fee. My neighborhood is dead quiet and my apartment is small. Any help is appreciated and that's from conspicuous clock clamor in Cambridge. I mean I have some great some great thoughts on this. Oh yeah. I do. The ticking would drive you absolutely wild unless it was the steady beat of a popular song. How many beats per minute is the second hand putting out probably 60 probably 60. Yeah. If I had to guess I just looked up 60 bpm songs. We got kiss kiss from a rose by seal. You could get that cranking. I'm talking about a playlist of 60 bpm songs. My girl by Otis Redding try a little tenderness by Otis Redding. These arms of mine by Otis Redding worked at the natural sort of rhythm of the universe and I fucking love that. I'm all about that. New slang, skinny love. There's like some a lot of tracks that are just kind of there for you. You have to sync it up just right because you can't have the ticking. I don't know if try a little tenderness would put me to sleep. Okay. We'll take that. Then don't do that one. It's my favorite one on the list. You just said. Can you convince your partner like okay, yes, it's true. I am a clockwork a man. Okay. I was I was assembled by Dr. Zalias and he died before he could give me a soul. But it's true. You hear the ticking of my heart. I am a clockwork boy and only your love has brought me to life. So it's there. So their boyfriend is the nerd about clocks and you're saying that you would say I am a clockwork person and I don't understand how this is going to help you sleep at night. I'm hung up on the it's true part. As though the partner has always suspected that they are a clockwork boy and you're finally confirming it. Sorry, say again. That is true. I don't see where the part is going. So what you sure I might explain to you one time, but I do feel like explaining Rob some of the genius. But I will I will explain. You are telling your partner that ticking sound that you hear is not a gift for you. Okay. So the ticking of my heart because I am a clockwork boy. Oh, okay. As I was informed by Dr. Zalias, and he died before he could give me a soul, but your love has made me great. Right. I'll tell you what happened here. There was a bit of a false start because I saw how can I suppress the sound of them at night and I just thought it was because they were so loud that they made you not be able to fall asleep easily. That was me projecting my own shit on you. I didn't realize the layer about you didn't want to give away. So yeah, saying you're a clockwork boy is a strong idea. That's strong idea, juice, strong idea, like it's a gift. I don't want to spoil. Was that the problem? Yeah. I missed the main console. But they do want to spoil the big reveal that it's true. They are a clockwork boy. They're a clockwork boy. I want to know. Okay. So even with my own mistake, you understand my initial. Can you react to it with a little more earnest like, yeah, can you give us the line again? Uh, yeah. No, I actually won't be delivering the purpose of third time. It's exhausting emotionally. It's the way I can't do it. He has to pretend to be a clockwork boy, like Hugo, Trap. I do like, can I just say, doesn't when you were doing a voice as the clockwork boy confirming the truth. That's cool. He did it again. You said he wouldn't, but then he did. Fucking me. It's very, it's even more human, I think, than you normally sound. I have a porcelain heart. Okay. My porcelain heart ticking. So it echoes terribly. Why do they have a porcelain heart ticking if they're a clock? It was a prototype. I think it's a little bit more complicated than the one that's going to be a clockwork boy. part of the planet of the Apes universe, hot to the planet of the Apes. - What's the next 10 words of this idea? Do you know how disappointed this person's going to be when they find out their partner is not, in fact, a clockwork boy? - They'll love me, they're real Griffin. - They'll love me, they're real. - But it's the ticking still go, are you guys still gonna give 'em the clock and the watch at some point? 'Cause they'll probably figure out when you do get, you gotta smash this. - And the grandfather clock is their actual grandfather. - Yeah, okay. - That's actually very good. I actually like that downtrap, that's actually good. That's my grandpa, please ignore him. I'll move from out to the room, so he doesn't watch I love making. - Okay. - Oh yeah, that's right, I can go forever. (laughing) - There's a power of steam, I can go forever. - There's some cultures in which giving someone a clock is a bad luck, is a bad thing to do, because I think it reminds folks of that you're gonna die, or like is the same character in I can't remember, I'll Google it later. And then next time I talk about this, I'll sound like super duper smart. But do you think when that sort of became a thing, where they're like giving someone a clock is a very rude gift, 'cause it's like you're telling them they're gonna die? Do you think the clock's industry was like, - No, I don't know about all that. - I think, I understand you're hanging up, but I think clocks make a great fucking gift, and you should get, we got all kinds of new clocks this season. - This one has a Kuku that comes out of it, that's new, you guys like that, huh? - No one is picking up our clock catalogs. Off the grocery store shelves, I'm starting to get a little bit worried about this clock. - At the clock, I went home and he was like, you're right Debra, I should've done paintings. - That would've been a better wall thing. - You're right. - Damn it. Should I ask her? Sundial. - Okay. - What is that, man? - What? - It's bought already. - It's bought, you can't fix it with a sundial? - You're gonna, okay, give to the mangeye. I sold the grab while the clock and the pocket watch to get you this cool sundial. - Yeah. Okay, in the gift of the mangeye, once again, in our series of misunderstanding, the point of the gift for the mangeye, I don't think they sold something, belonging to their partner to get their partner present. I'm realizing now, hey, I sold your car to get you this book. I don't think that that happened. - Well, no, in this case, I sold your watch to get you this watch case. - Shit, that was really bad of me to do. - I wasn't even thinking about it at the time. - Shit. Do you think the first person who finished reading that story, they put it down, they're like, oh Henry, I don't think this is very good. I don't really understand it and then, oh Henry had to be like, it's more like everything else will relate back to this. Like you only kind of understand it in retrospect. It's only gonna make sense when other things happen that are like this, but like right now in isolation, I understand that it's like, it's just kind of very sad. Like I do, that's not a very good story. - Well, it's kind of sad. It's kind of sad. - It's kind of sad, but it's like, it's not a very good story. I understand, but it'll be very useful story later. - I created a reference point for other people. What I've done here is a huge humanity sacrifice where I've written a weird story, but later it'll make other people's weird stories make more sense. - Right, but they need this contextually. As a culture, we need this story. Even though I'll admit, I don't really know how to feel about it either. - Yeah. - It's sort of a big cut. - Where the story about a guy turns into a big bug. It doesn't make any sense, but it's gonna help other things make sense later. - Yeah, you're welcome. - He sells his watch to buy her combs for her hair. - Uh-huh. - And she sells her hair to buy him a chain for his watch. - She sells seashells. - Well, no, I, she'll grow the hair back. - We've talked about this at least three times. - Okay, nevermind. - I actually don't want to. And, you know what, luckily we don't have to, because that's the end of the podcast. We've gotten here once again. And just as I knew we would, you guys at the beginning were like, I don't know how we around do it. I was like, cut this part out later, but non-spired you for like 15 minutes, you remember? - Yeah. - Yeah, man. - That's cool. - I've never felt so good about the work that we do. We have some new merch in the merch store over at macroymerch.com. Got a new shirt. It's a design with, you're going to be amazing from Taz Balance is designed by Sabrina Volante. And all the proceeds from that shirt go to Lambda Legal and 10% of all of our merch proceeds this month will also be donated to Lambda Legal, a national organization working to achieve full recognition of the Civil Rights of LGBTQ+ people. And everyone living with HIV through impact litigation, education and public policy work. Our merch is all over at macroymerch.com. There's a lot of stuff up there. - We've also got to make it six sticky notes by Evan Cruz over there as well. Make sure you check those out. - Also, I believe we are five weeks away this week from the release of the Adventure Zone story and song graphic novel, the final-- - We should finish writing it. - In our series, we should finish writing it. - Quick, go to theadventurezonecomic.com. You can pre-order that now. There's some special editions available like Barnes & Noble and Books & Million. And they've got some stuff you can get for your order. But wherever you get it is just help us out. If you think you're going to read it, pre-ordering it helps us out a great deal. Thank you to Montagne for these right theme song. My life is better with you. I really appreciate that Montagne continues to let us use this song. They are so talented in the song, "Absolute Rips." And just thank you. - Somebody's got throw something. - Oh yeah. - Oh yeah. - Oh, I got a box. - No. - Tripod. Ooh, tripod. Ooh, that's a big one, are you sure? I'm positive. - I can't wait to see where he fucking threw us. - I don't know what he's aiming for here. You know you got to hum it, right, Juice? You got to really whine this. - You're not too big. - Yeah, okay. You're gonna need to do a water bottle flip. - You got to do a water bottle flip. - Wait, he can't hear us. He's just throwing a case at his phone. - Wow, that's a McRoy. - I'm Travis McRoy. - I'm Griffin McRoy. - This has been my brother, my brother. I mean, kiss your dad square on the lips. (upbeat music) ♪ It's better with you ♪ ♪ It's better with you ♪ ♪ It's better, it's better with you ♪ ♪ It's better, it's better with you ♪ ♪ It's better, it's better with you ♪ ♪ This is true, it's better, it's better with you ♪ ♪ It's better, it's better with you ♪ ♪ It's better with you ♪ - Maximum Fun. - A work-road network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.