MBMBaM 815: Pain Is Funny Leaving The Body

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? What, do you think it's the start of something beautiful, a small quaintant has blossomed, it's rapping into a precious friendship. I could have never seen what was coming for me, hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach, my life, it feels like. It's better, it's better with you, my life, it's better with you, this is true, it's better, it's better with you, my life, it's better with you, my life, it's better with you. Hello everybody, welcome to my brother, my brother and me. I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy. What's up, Travis Nation, it's me, your boy Travis McElroy, come to Eli for the studio, big news. Yeah. I'm Griffin. Go ahead. Okay, good. I got some big news. We should change the order, because we should fucking change the order, because we build to Griffin, and that's always, I will say this, 10 out of 10 times anticlimactic. You know what I mean? Almost always a decline in the end. I don't have bits, I don't have characters, I give the people what they want. No question. This isn't a big, it's big news about travel nation. Oh, wow. No, it's not about my custom umbrella line. That's coming September, 2027, keep your eyes out, pre-orders open now, but I've been invited to join a content house. Fuck yeah, dude. One of the big ones. What's up, man? Did you get to fucking stand? You promised? I've been invited to join Purina Pro Plan/Country Crock Presents Multimedia Mansion. I've heard of that one. Yeah, that one's, that one's stepped in some hot water sort of legally, ethically news-wise lately. Clean house. It's an all-new crew. It's me. It's Honkboy. It's Pogi. It's Big Shoes. It goes face 69. The Uncanceled Honkboy? Let him finish. It's great. He's got five more. Which ones did I already say? I said honky. You got Honkboy, Pogi. Big Shoes. It goes face 69. Yeah. Hopster. All the big ones. That's only. Okay. You've only had one. Well, it's only five. Six rooms in the mansion. It was my understanding that Big Shoes died. I thought Big Shoes fucking died. Well, this is a new Big Shoes. This one does exclusive unboxings of hats. Well, I'll say, Trevor, he has Big Shoes to fill out. Yeah. Well, his dad died just in seven laps. Travis dude, like. Glad you think that's so funny, dude. Yeah, his dad died. His Big Shoes senior. It's not a laughing matter, man. His dad died trying to fit 300 tockies in his mouth at one time for content and he was a parrot. So that was not healthy for him. And it was the blue tockies, too. Yeah. It burned him really bad. Well, Big Shoes senior, the parrot died so now Big Shoes junior, the parrot has taken over the hat unboxings. That's interesting. So are they all tropical birds or. No, that's fucking stupid. Okay. He is a hedgehog. Ghost phase 69 is called a duty streamer and also a labrador. Okay. Hopster is a rabbit. Obviously. So is everybody an animal other than you? Do you have to take care of the animals? Or like. We all have our responsibilities. What could a hedgehog's responsibilities possibly be? What would a hedgehog have to do with it? I think he would. I think he would. I think he would. I think he would. I think he would have to do it. I think he would have to do it with it. Yes, I when we translated a Salman's book into Chinese I the translator reached out to me and said I'm really struggling with this bit Where you said you feel like he man slamming a Capri son. We have Capri son, but we don't have he man That's clear. That is not the one that I Said is it sort of like monkey from journey to the west and I'm like, yeah, okay, yeah, just swap it Yes, you'll feel like monkey from journey to the west slamming a Capri son hundred percent. You got it control F Battlecat right place like nimbus cloud when they said is it like monkey from journey to the west where you like I should have made that the reference to begin with I'm just I thought you're gonna go a different way which is instead of outsourcing it to countries where people would be taking advantage of and Why not which we hate do I say that we hate We hate I we've been doing this for so long and I hope people just assume we hate that stuff outsource it to us So we'll make mr. Beast content and then make an auto translate it to like how mr. Beast would say it But we know I want you know how much is mr. BC more mr. Beast tried to give away a hundred Bugatti's the other day and not and not even a hundred fifty Bugatti's can't alert because he had games and he hosted his games and he said come play for a billion dollars And then everyone left and I'm like we hated those games Well, you said the whole game going don't you guys want to be shitty to each other and they're like yeah, I would feel Mount if I did that and he's like but for money you want to be shitty to each other and it's like wow This is an interesting look yeah, I'm to your world. I really enjoyed beast showing up on survivor because as a Zillennial I had a little swell like well, well, well, well, well look who's on CBS you know I mean like well look is not too cool to come on our dusty ass old reality Yeah, you weren't the only one like that because Jeff also shriveled up like one of the the creatures from Ursula's layer That made a bad deal with her Well can beast please a million more dollars. Thank you daddy Is it too much to call it the beast factor? I'm freaking out with how much beast effect is going on it's a rambore right now Yeah, he's right. I think all the money's in family based content not our age family, but like Jeffery still haven't seen a picture of you with the trofe my man would love to catch a glimpse would love Yeah, I would love to know it made it to HQ We tracked it. We tracked it Jeff. It's at HQ wouldn't know the glimpse use it as an immunity idol in an episode Yes, we're not asking for much just making a fundamental prop It could be like a game winning immunity idol that comes up in the finale episode that would be yeah It would be if you could show up and we'll if you could be like the McLeary brothers gave us two million dollars To add to the prize pool and we're not gonna do that though. We don't have it. Jeff. You have to you would do it. We'll do it in our name. Yeah It seems like all the a hawk just like grabbed a bird right off my balcony guys Are you kidding nature? No, dude It was a huge big bird and it swooped in and it screeched a little bit and it grabbed another bird and it went Nothing else. We're gonna do to that. That's something your life. What your life that you've needed Guidance on like you have to be open to signs important. It's like what what what do you need on the red universe is trying to tell you I think the hawk is now the thread the hawk now thinks that my house is a cool hangout spot to grab little birds You don't know what that little bird was planning Griffin that hawk just saved your life True sky sky he was gonna assassinate you that little bird was a spy When I see how many V bucks these parents are giving their kids for hiding at a Dave and Busters for two straight days I think they must be making lots of fucking cage And I think that's where the money is I don't want to make that kind of content with my own children We could the three of us do it and maybe it would be kind of the same where I'd be like you guys didn't clean your room So now you got to drink this milk shake that I made out of The content house with six kids are our kids. So I don't want to mess up my kids. I don't know my I think family YouTube It really takes advantage of children and it's there's a lot of horrible stuff So let's instead hire child actors and industry that is never taking advantage of children never been detrimental Yes, and also we want to be so clear about this because I don't want anybody to be confused Family YouTube Bad. Yeah, family podcast Good good. We like that. I've been taking advantage of just living for years now to coast off of them Look how happy they are We know about her and our kids sometimes a little bit But they like they do like it. I've gotten some positive and my kids are proud of me occasionally So yeah, that feels good. I've never made my kid hide in a home depot while they paint themselves orange That's right, right, you know, in a video YouTube video will make my kids think that real happy families Set up bouncy capsules in their living room to sleep in for the night and I have to explain to them that one All the lights are on and they're filming it. So they're not sleeping and we watch those videos where it's like I turn my house into a trampoline park. I always there's a bit where someone like jumps into a chandelier and breaks it and everyone's like But that's always where I pause it and I see I said that's exactly why That's exactly how we don't have that They're having fun. They're doing a good job. That's someone's chandelier someone worked hard My kids my kids watch so much YouTube that they think there's a non-zero chance Mark Robert is going to blow up their home with elephant toothpaste at any moment You know what I mean at any moment Mark Robert could come in here blow up this whole place It's Mark Robert, but I do love French like I'm Mark No, that's the evil version. I've done a lot of his crunch labs. It's Mark Robert Mark Robert I've watched his show on Netflix. It's Mark Robert. I think it's Mark robot I think it's Mark Robert and you children ready to build an oscilloscope Mark Mark do your parents have homeowners insurance You want to send us a coin bin? Let us know if it's Robert or I think you may want to switch Be sure to adjust to the punch. Hey, have us some advice. Let's help. Yeah. Yeah, no one help I work in a nonprofit and per my contract I have a stipend that I can spend on personal and professional development I've used some of it to learn a new language. However, a company newsletter listed a few more options one of which is a clown retreat where I can quote Learn about what clowning means to me My job has nothing to do with clowning and my girlfriend definitely wouldn't approve Is it irresponsible for me to go on a free clowning retreat for my own enjoyment on company dollars? Please help question to if I did go do you think it's assumed I would bring my own nose And clown makeup that's from clown. No, you're not taking it. No, you're not taking it now. You're what that was that that was the hinge of the question for me What the hinge of the question for me was was My own car knows a makeup. You don't think they send a email ahead of time to let you know what kind of Tell you how many underwear the class is probably if the class is find out what clowning means to you It seems to me like the first like calling the first like let's weed out You know is to see does clowning mean to you bring your own note be prepared or I will earn the nose and I will earn the makeup If I have to figure out the right clown white to bring in where I'm not gonna get beat up by the big kids I'm not gonna go. It's gotta be provided for me. Okay. I mean, I know Right just I have it on shape. Yeah, I have to agree in this stuff. Okay. This is what area of expertise right Clowning isn't art that is not limited to the nose. I a lot of people forget this that I had a master class with Marcell Marcell I never forget this a lot of people forget that Marcell Marceau came to Marshall University in Marshall University Marcell Marceau came to Marshall in the 2000's with my crew bear with Mark Rubio I was a student there and after and and before or after he performed a show that he helped me he came to the Marshall University Through the department and did a Master class for us and so I don't think I think to say I've been trained by Marcell Marceau Gives me some like to say on here and I can say clowning is so much more than a nose. It's an attitude I wasn't he a mime mimes his clowns, dude. It's what I'm saying Yeah, yeah, dude. It's all it's all part of comedy They'll art time You know Justin. I also had a master class at the University of Oklahoma from Larry Drake aka Dr. Giggles and the guy with the sash and that one episode of Firefly and he was asked if he prefers doing drama or comedy and he said drama is like, oh, but comedy is like hey And I'll never forget that I think I just learned a lot by the transitive property. - Yeah, so. - That's awesome. - Damn, that's good. - Yeah. So I think I also know a lot about comedy. - I think you're assuming a lot that you will be asked to apply clown makeup and a nose and do clown stuff because that does not sound like the concept of this, of this retreat. It sounds like you will find a deep soul searching to find what clowning means to you. When someone introduces the word retreat into the formula for me, it does imply a level of getting in touch with myself in a way that I'm like, oh, no, thank you. If it was a clown class, that lasted three days at a thing. Oh, yeah, 100%. A retreat? - I think that it could help you maybe, maybe the angle is like, find the vulnerability in yourself. Isn't that clowning? Isn't that clowning? - You get down deep, you find the things that you're embarrassed of, then you just like put them out, just beg people to laugh at them for your own humiliation. I think I've lost the plot a little bit. - Yeah, you were a little embarrassed. - Yeah. - Earlier on in the sentence, I think we could all remember the house. - You had some great points. - Yeah, no, it was great. - Two thirds of that sentence, absolutely. - Yeah, those were the days. - I have a running analysis in my head of handsome guy, funny like stars, where they go into movies, and it's like, I've been handsome for a while, but now I want to do funny movies. - Okay. - And there are some who are so good at being like, I don't need to be cool. I think John Cena is great at this. Where John Cena is willing to look stupid, it'd be the butt of a joke, it's so many things. - He'll tear his chest open and show you his heart and everything inside of you. - He has no problem looking like idiot. There are some other ones, where even when they're supposed to look like an idiot, they're cool and it doesn't work. So I do like, if I could go to a cloud retreat that would teach me to finally just stop being, so handsome all the time. - Yeah, so handsome and cool, just let myself be a bit of a fool from time to time. - Yeah, it might be very useful for me. - I, what if you love it too much and you can't turn the cloud off? - Oh, maybe, is that what your girlfriends afraid of? - What if you can't turn the cloud off? - Maybe you find the cloud and you awaken the cloud and you're all all of a sudden, you're the disguise. - Yeah, Bruce Wayne, the Batman, where he is, Batman. - He is a Batman for real. - And he was born, I'm a life man. - He was born Batman? And then when he was like 12, he made some money at a lemonade stand and he came inside with a suit. - And he's like, I'm go by, I'm go by Bruce now. - That's not exactly what I meant, but yeah. (laughing) - That's exactly what I meant. - His parents got killed in the alley. They were like, help us Batman. And he's like, I can't, I'm Bruce now. - I'm Bruce now. - Bruce can't fight. I want to take on an identity that would strike fear in the heart of no one. - Murderer, will you spare my parents for this many dollars? - I do like the idea because the company put the option in the newsletter, but you take it and then they're like, oh, we didn't find it. (laughing) - Test, absolutely a test. - Yeah. And it's not, clouding's not bad, but they don't, it's not useful for your job. - No, there are plenty of, like I know people who do corporate improv workshops and Shakespeare workshops and stuff. It's about getting in touch. It's the retreat aspect of it, but if you get there, here's the problem with retreat. You get there day one, you've been there 10 minutes and the vibe is off for you. And you're like, oh, this isn't what I signed up for. You can't leave. - Yeah, you're in prison, you're in cloud prison. You're stuck in a clown car with a bunch of other clouds, but you don't wanna be a clown. You're just Dave. It's Dave with a clown. - You thought it would be funny to use this corporate money to go to the clown retreat, but then you're there. - It is funny. I'll say this. - No, it's funny. - The story is funny. - Yeah, I mean, it's clowns. - It's funny. It's funny in hindsight. You have to live through it. You have to experience it with your human body and mind. And then after that, it will be funny, but you do have to endure the initial thing, I think. Pain is funny, leaving the body. - Why? I don't think your bosses want you to take the lessons of these retreat, like an improv retreat or a clowning retreat. Your bosses don't actually want you to bring that energy back to the office, right? If your boss is like, just in you did a bad job on your reports and you looked at him and you're like, "Yes." - And? - Honk, honk. - You know what I mean? He doesn't want that. He wants to actually for you to just do a better job at your thing. He doesn't want you to reach up and go, "Oh, he wants you to do better at their reports." - They want you to bring the energy of someone who got a clown retreat paid for them and now they feel special. - Yeah, they're gonna work a little harder. - And they're working harder. 'Cause they got away with something. - They don't want clown technique to come back into the office. They want the clown energy clown satisfaction. - Clown mentality. - Clown work ethic. - There you go. - Clown grind. - What? - Willingness to be humiliated. - I'm back as the Joker. - Oh shit. - Yeah. (laughs) - You don't get the chews on Pennywise. (laughs) - Oh no. - Oh no. - Thanks for that. - They were all retreat. - Thanks for the retreat boss. I'm gonna go eat a kid. - Oh no. - No. - No. - That news your HR director is Pennywise. (laughs) - Over the past month I've been going to physio for a shoulder and neck issue. During one of the first sessions, I was asked to use a grip strength tester where I pulled the highest LBs. The clinic has ever seen. Since then, some of the staff at the clinic have been calling me Mr. Grips, Grippy, Gripster. I'm not sure how I feel about the new names. Do I curb them or let them slide? And that's from Grip Strength gripe in Canada. Shouldn't they let you leave? - Yeah. - What are you doing there? - If you're doing physical therapy, and they're like, "Here's the grip machine." And they're like, "Fuck, shouldn't you be in charge?" - You know what I'm saying? - They have to start gripping it. - Once they pass the grip machine, they then handed them a big mallet and said, "Now hit this paddle "and if you can ring the bell, you get to go." And that's where it failed, you know what I mean? - Do you think it's a physical therapist? There's a moment where you get them to the point where they're like, probably as good as they used to be. But do you think sometimes you're like, "Damn, I think this guy's really good potential." Like if I keep physical therapying them, I think they could become a professional athlete. Like there is a ceiling here that I can get them back past, you know what I mean? You can just keep, you never know when to stop the therapy. - That's probably only like one in a hundred times, you know? - It's probably pretty rare. I agree, yeah, I agree. - All I'm saying is that if I did a Grip Strength 10, if I did any test at a place and they said I did the best anyone ever, that's going to become at least 20 to 30% of my personality from now. - Travis, that was maybe the least surprising sentence. - I know, we've been noted on the program. I could have written it with my blood. I mean, I, yeah man. - It then will it surprise you to know Justin when I found out two and a half years ago that Grip Strength test was existed? I immediately brought one. - He did, I remember that. - 'Cause you made this all do it and mine was bad. Mine was really, really bad. - Mine was very good. - Yeah. - I have thick muscles built into my hands. You see those muscles? - All hands, look at those grippers. God, James. - Do you see those muscles next to my thumb? - That's crazy dude. - Those are like got 17 rubber bands. Not even double looped, 17 rubber bands. That was his Grip Strength rating. - Pretty good, I thought. - Yeah, so it goes up to like 6,000. And Travis is doing like 6,000. - He's got like Watermelon crushing power. - Well, I'm out here because inevitably one of you will slip inside off a cliff and I'll dive and catch you by the wrist and I wanna be able to hold you 'cause I love you. - Yeah, but what if you're the one that falls off and we can pull you up and we're like, we're like, we're like, you gotta let us go, Travis. You gotta let us go, you're too heavy. And you're like, I can't man, my Grip Strength is too powerful. - I have been dealing with this in my left hand 'cause I've been recovering from Carpal Toll surgery. And I'm a few months in now. And I am now starting to get to the point where like, is this as good as it was? Was it better than this? I don't remember it being better or worse. I don't remember how good it was before. So I'm kinda like trying to feel that out. Like, yeah, I think it could be a little bit more movie. Yeah, all right. - This is every time I watch a show where they do some kind of like, we're doing a challenge, right? And it's like, we took our biometric measurements before and after. I, that's the part I most envy. The idea of I'm about to do something for a week and someone's gonna tell me the measure of change of like, yeah, this improved, this went down. Which is more-- - Perfectly like, figure out a sequence of events where it's like, yeah, every week he's just getting stronger and stronger. Travis, I must have more data about Travis. There was one I can know about myself. - Yes. So many numbers are slipping away from me. - I had the thought for the first time, like a couple days ago, that people who like go to the gym to lift weights to get stronger. They probably have a moment pre-frequent on you where they lift a new, heaviest weight. And I had the thought of like, that's probably cool. That probably feels pretty cool. - No, I can do 300 now. I don't know how, if that's good or bad, or like, what's different. - I mean, it depends on exercise you're doing. - If you're like, if you're like, if you're 300, you're nailing it. - A measurement, I would say also. - But like, if you couldn't do 300 before and then you practiced and you worked hard and you ate like a bunch of cod or whatever. And then the next day, you could do 300. You'd probably be like, fucking stoked. 'Cause you're strong. - But I was thinking about something similar to that. If I, I was thinking about how, if you were to practice like. like, say, chess and then you played chess and then you, your score at chess improved, you would probably have a positive feeling you derived from that. Or like if you started playing an instrument and like you found a really challenging piece of music that you weren't able to play, but then you practiced, you got better, you guys are talking in a ton that sounds like a fun. Oh, and Travis, that's a similar experience to what griffin' out on. Like, of course, it did chess, it got better at chess and your ELO went up, that'd be cool and if you could play a musical piece that would be cool. I'm talking about getting a big career. Or like if you started running and you kept track of the time, it took you to like run a mile. Yeah. And then you saw that time drop down. Yeah, and then you saw that time drop down. Or if you tried to cook a meal and you couldn't, and then you studied cooking for year, and then at the end of that year you cooked that same meal again. No, that's different. This is your body. You didn't know how to read, right, so then you started learning to read, and then you knew how to read. That would probably feel pretty good. You guys are making fun of me for fucking sure, dude. I don't think so. I don't think I am, Travis. Travis, were you? 'Cause I wasn't. I don't think I was. I wasn't trying to back up griffin' points with other-- I don't know how much I can pick up. I don't know how much I can pick up. I know that if someone asks me to move a couch and they're gonna help, I can usually do it. But that doesn't translate to a number. I just agree, griffin' 'cause I think you're picking up and traveling down really well. I just don't want to get squished. Let's go to the money zone. I just don't want to get-- I don't lift weights 'cause I don't want to get squished. [laughter] Non-sexual. [music] This smalls is the best cat food I've ever purchased and friends, I've bought them all but my cats are wild for this stuff. I've got the timing down perfect, the smalls show up right when I need it. There is a-- honestly, there is a bag of treats that comes with my smalls every time I get a shipment and if I didn't have it, I couldn't get the cat out of the girl's bedroom. No, I've seen this work. It's incredible. It's incredible. I've seen it in action. It is. Like you have a remote control cat. It's crazy. Yeah. It's wild. It's 'cause they go crazy for this food. The same thing happens when I tear up a package to smalls. They go wild for it. Preservative free, human grade ingredients. It's good, natural stuff. You're funny. If it ever happen if you open a package that just sounds like a package of smalls, then they run in the room and then they're really angry that it's not smalls. Yes, 100% of the time, Travis. In fact, you might say that if we open the fridge, sometimes the cat will leap onto Sydney's shoulder, like some sort of demented furry parrot, just trying to get some smalls. They're wild for this stuff and your cats will be too. Stop summing it up. You're making it sound like a problem. I'll just say feedback on the ad, you're making it sound like your cats are like smalls, junkies. They are. They are. They love it. They love it in a good way. Okay. I'm saying it sounds like your cat has a problem too much. My cat has a problem because it's mean. That's not smalls as fault. It's a cruel creature. Do you understand? Like it's not the most into the two. Which ones are favorite? One of Justin's cats is famously mean as a whole. Sydney has two cats. I have a litter box. Stop serving your little carnival or a ball of processed shortcuts for a limited time because you're a maiming maim listener, get 60% off your first order, plus free shipping and free treats for life. When you head to smalls.com/mybrother, that's 60% off your first order, plus free shipping and free treats for life. When you head to smalls.com/mybrother. I have Jasmine in my home and what I've learned about Jasmine is basically she's the type of cat that is just the world's clumsiest and least effective assassin. Where she'll see me going into a room, she'll run ahead of me, hide behind the couch and then dive out at me and boot my leg and then run back behind. And I imagine laugh at her success. Just a funny kitty story for you guys. I was chilling, but yeah, man, you don't want to hear about my kitty. We don't usually listen to a kitty story from Justin. Justin's was a paid kitty story and they had to pay me to tell a kitty story. You know what they also didn't like this at the content house when I was talking about my pets at home and I think every time I use the word pets, they got really amazing. Yeah, they don't even understand the idea. How can a man own a goose? What is a man to a goose? (humming) Honeydough watch, you know, there's a lot going on in the world of haunted items and items. Summer ween. Yeah, I have five. My summer ween is really coming. Summer ween time. I have five I'm going to share with you guys because they're all the worst and I wanted to show them to you guys to see which ones you all think is the worst. Juicy, you still watching from? I heard they got haunted doll monsters now. Yeah, man, they've got everything on from and of course I'm still watching from. I remember a time where Justin said there apparently is a show that exists called from. I keep seeing clips from it and I have no god damn idea what any of them mean. Hey, Juicy, this one sucks, man. Oh, boy. Oh yeah, these all, hey, this week they all suck. I wanted doll vessel young, seely, white, light, which they spirit. It's giving Cole a scola Mary Todd a little bit, just like in the complexion, I guess. Does she have just a handful of loose icing? What is that? So let's see here. That's a good man. That's a really good, really good question. A lot of people have done that level of, that is a unicorn brooch. It's the head of a unicorn, and she's threatening that other unicorn with. It's the head of a unicorn. She's holding the head of a unicorn, I think, is what we're dealing with there. It's pipping long stockings and she's coming into your world. Lydia is not a witch practicing white magic. She is white, light magic in phase form. She's connected to happiness, purity, emotional healing, self-worth, emotional encouragement and light abundance energy. There's something about that that sounds like the head of a PTA board saying to a parent. The parent is like, I don't, I don't think you understand, like, Miller elementary spirit. And they're like, I don't understand Miller elementary spirit. I am Miller elementary spirit in human form. This girl was not fully ready for the human world yet, not because she's weak, because she is unbelievably innocent naive, which means she has not fully harnessed her authority. She does not naturally recognize manipulation yet. She assumes everyone is emotionally sincere. She believes everything will work out perfectly perfect, because that's her nature. Must be nice for the lasting proof of every baby born though. That is pretty much a baby experience. Are there babies that come into the world jaded? This is the next part that I can't stop thinking about. For the next three months, Lydia has had full reign of my home, my divination room, which I guess is not in the home, my spirit collection, which I guess she doesn't keep in the divination room. I got a lot of sheds, the rituals, which I guess is in another out building, and then the spirit communication work, which must happen at yet a tertiary location. It's more of a compound. It's really, yeah, it's a, I got a bunch of buses that I buried underground and linked with tunnels. Yeah. This is my she shed, and that's my C shed, where I see my D shed and where the demons. She has approached all of it with emotional confidence of a glitter covered four-year-old with absolutely zero survival instincts. Then don't give her free reign. Yeah, that's crazy. I had one of those, a glitter covered four-year-old with no survival instincts, and I wasn't like everything. Let me open all the drawers and cabinets for you. I can't imagine setting my five-year-old loose in a divination room. No way, man. Yeah. She even got this way. She tried to rehabilitate a little of succubus. What? She, yeah, she calls them sparkle resets. She says, you breathe. A little succubus? A little succubus? Yeah. This is what Lydia said to her little succubus. Oh, girl, you got a lot going on. You never going to get the right boyfriend with that look. You need positive affirmations and self-respect. So, wow. So, this ancient seductive succubus energy in Lydia is talking to her like a tiny emotional emotionally supportive pageant coach. This is so much. So, you guys think I'm just kind of like loosening it right now, but I'm going to scroll down a little bit just so you can scroll past the succubus. The fucking row of succubus energy. This is legitimate. Oh, my God. This is the script of this person who is like outlined this exchange that this goes ahead with the difference she has living in her house. Wait, scroll back up because Lydia is a toxic friend. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Like, Lydia truly sees good in everything, dark spirit, maybe he's just sad. Minipulation, maybe he was just misunderstanding. Chaos, maybe everybody just needs a hug. Hey, Lydia, I'm trying to complain about this guy and I just need you to validate my feelings. Yeah. Please. Sparkle reset is also the most menacing brainwashing. It is as a thing of your clockwork orange. Yes. You get a sparkle reset. She sees sadness, anger, bitterment and things. Oh, no. Somebody forgot to be happy. And it's like, hey, Lydia, depression, anxiety. of us are working through some shit. - I'm giving you guys some extra ones to read here. - She celebrates every tiny manifestation like they just won a spiritual Olympics. (laughing) - That's what they call, that is what they call the church camp that I went to. - This is honestly, I y'all, it, I come out of it then. - It keeps going. - This is the whole pilot. - Yeah, it's a whole, she's got a season two arc. Yeah, it's a whole universe. So we're not gonna deal with that anymore. - One of the things I really like here, and listen, I wouldn't call myself an expert in fame ethylogy, but it did say that I'm a rarely seen young, seely, coarse-off-a, there's no such, like they've been alive for, like they're eternal. I don't think they're a young of a, anyways. By popular demand, we have another succubus, someone by my very spiritual friend who has experienced with conjuring and binding, and we curated this vessel especially for her. - Reesy Rob brought this one to us. - Nasty Dave brings you to heaven. I'm just realizing, I didn't read the text of this one before I brought it. I just thought the picture was funny. - You just like the picture so much? - See the light, I want to see how you guys react, and only Gryffin gave me what I could. - We would have to blur this to post it on our Instagram, Justin. - Thank you. - Even if it's just a doll, you pervert. Get your head out of gutter. - It's not just a doll, Justin, 'cause I'm gonna say there's some aftermarket additions. - There's some mods. - Well, like, I don't see things. I haven't looked at the picture very closely, but hot too much. - Okay. - Yeah, there are nipples. Someone drew nipples on it. Sorry, let's see here. We have, is a lustful succubus spirit. If you feel a stirring and are drawn to her pictures, perhaps you are already-- - Go to jail. - You're in jail now. - Go to jail. Go to jail. Perhaps you are already connecting with her, and could fulfill her desires and fantasies. She will come to you in vivid dreams, but she can manifest as a shadow figure. - If she gains enough strength, and I'm sorry, I'm paying $205 just to be clear for this shadow figure. - This? For this, I'm paying $205. - I also, once again, don't know much about mythology, but I'm pretty sure the deal is a succubus is looking for someone to fulfill their desires. - Right. I'm pretty sure that's not how the exchange works. - So this says, not a toy. Her vessel's top is removable, revealing an anatomically correct chest underneath. She also has a see-through lace skirt with small white. I'm not gonna say that word underneath. - It also, if that's crazy, this is not a toy, then that line, and then peribabalcy. - You're producing a tangible item. A toy. - That was gross. - Let's see. - Can a new toy story look weird as fuck, by the way? See if he stills. Ooh, oh, this is too bad. Yep, they finally got into us. They got Honidol mystery box, so still. You don't know what a honid thing you're gonna get with this $80 treat. - And look at that totally real hand drawn art. - Display and totally, definitely not, totally. - Yes, definitely in the enchanting world of the supernatural, this Honidol mystery box. Inside, you'll find one Honidol. Rumor to carry the presence of friendly food. - Awesome and positive spirits. We're outsourcing our hauntings to other countries that were importing them in public. This is how you imagine being a Honidol and being told like, yeah, you're gonna be on a blind box. - What? - What do you mean? - Yeah, no one wanted it random. - When people knew you, they did not want you. The only way we can get you in their hands is to sort of do you up, gotcha style. - If you have enough honid dolls to start a Honidol blind box company, I don't think you get to throw the word rumored in there. - Right. - Like did you just buy dolls in bulk and you're like, you wanted these bad books. - You lost context, yeah. - Are they rumored or are you verifying every one of these guys is as haunted as fuck? - Some people say. - Because I'm buying an $80 box. - I would not do this because this is definitely how they get rid of the dolls that are too haunted. - The dolls that are like, this wanna make spikes come out of your fucking balls and then they'll stab you in the head while you're asleep. This is a dark, dark, dark demon. And no one goes for that. They're gonna show up inside the blind box. - It's also irritating from somebody that just like, I'd like to maintain canon within Honidol watch. I like to maintain, you know, kefabe. And I feel like every practitioner of these arts tell you how important it is to find the spirit that sort of works with you and like make sense for you and not like fucking fired out of a t-shirt canon. Just whatever random thing about this. Even in a world where you believe these are haunted, what these people are saying is, we'll box up a random fucking soul and send it to your house. Like, you wouldn't do that with DoorDash, right? You wouldn't say like, hey, I need a friend. Will you come over and hang out with me? Fucking anybody in the world. Doesn't matter. I'm gonna do that with, I'm hungry. Just bring whatever food you find on your rounds. Whatever your near, whatever restaurant is around. - At this point, you're not an eBay vendor. I do think you qualify as a necromancer. Once you start sort of slinging around, randomized haunted dolls in this manner. - Sad. - Two quick ones. Just this is a palette cleanser. We don't even have to talk about this haunted doll. - Are there visible nipples on this palette cleanser? - No, I wanted to step you guys down. We're gonna go out and chill out there real quick with a possibly ill or a rainbow. - Yeah, probably ill. Say, I need like, Leo. - God damn, inflation has absolutely savaged the haunted doll market. - Yeah, you would think it would be. - It would be, you would think. - They have 2,015 transactions, a hundred percent positive. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Wow. - They're throwing heat, man. - Leo is amazing. - With his ability, sorry. Leo is amazing. - Did you read the title, Dustin? The title's great. Thank you, haunted doll, active spirit, positive Leo Ram Bunches prankster. - And you watch listening at home, just sort of imagine like a cat's from cat. - Yeah, a Skimble Shanks type. - Imagine a Skimble Shanks, but scary, like even scarier. - Ram Bunches prankster does sound like a euphemism that a parent uses for their horrible child to try to get them into the fancy daygaring town. - Uh-huh. - Oh, yeah, he's a Ram Bunches prankster. - Yeah. Tim, you just pushed my kid in the river. Yeah, he's a, he is Ram Bunches like that. - This is good. I accept items that are considered seriously haunted. If it's haunted and it feels like it could be too dangerous for you or the people you love, contact me and we'll see about getting it out of your hands. No questions asked, unless about the item itself. - Well, now, that's a huge question. - Some questions asked. So all questions, I mean, you said you won't ask a question that I cannot reasonably ration into some reason that it would be connected to the dollar anyways. - You guys want drugs? I got them, no questions asked, except for which drugs you like and what and whether I have them and how you'll be paying and how you'll pay and what they do to your brain and body. - I won't ask questions about you. - Yeah, about your personal life. I won't ask your address. - Yeah. - Last one and you guys are going to go, oh, you guys are going to go ape shit for this guy. I love this guy, I might get him myself. Honestly, I never, I never get these guys. - I never do this. - Oh, God damn, so we got, oh, there you go. - Oh, man, there it is. - It's me, haunted, German, no, vessel, child, spirit, it's been attacked of misgevious loving boy. - It does, I'm going to say this, Justin. - In an alternate universe in my life. - Yes, let's tell me, what does it do about that? - In which Justin MacCroy was born in Victorian England and maybe went through a scarlet fever or two. This is, that looks like two-year-old Justin MacCroy. - Yes, it's a beautiful boy. And yes, that comes with my own entertainment. I have a copy of The Bear in the Fly, a story by Polo Winter. - In a picture of four of the oldest kids you've ever seen in your entire life. How are those kids? - Oh, he's kids of 40. - That's crazy. - Holy old children, and yes, I think there's lots that are retirement party from the business we started. - Look at this like photo cube that the car is sitting on. This is a fully staged production here for Bennett. And Bennett deserves-- - Take the picture, mother. - I'm ready, mother. - I found my life. - Take the picture of my hair, it's perfect. - Bennett, you want to know about Bennett, of course. - Yeah. - A little guy, he found this little guy back in 2015 in an antique shop at New Orleans. The antique shop owner told me he'd been sitting untouched for quite a while. Because people could not decide whether he looked sad, confused, or mildly offended by humanity. - Personally-- - How are those mutually exclusive? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Personally, I thought he looked like trouble. And I like that. - Wait, you made it? - Made me laugh, 'cause he was a bit judgy. The second I picked him up, I swear. I heard the emotional equivalent of a sigh. Like he was looking at me thinking, "Hah, absolutely not." What is wrong with you in your day to day that you pick up a doll and you think, "This doll thinks I suck." (laughing) - And I love that. And I like that. - I'll break me for Phil. - Really? - Really for Phil Bennett, I'll make you love me. - I love this boy. I took him home. - I can fix him. I think Bennett would look great on your shelf. Besides, what is one more man in my life telling me what to do? Oof, I do feel- - Is that, does it say that? - It says that, I didn't write that. - Oh, it goes to say. - I didn't realize that. I noticed the name written beneath his wig when I got home, Shirley Navar. Naturally, my first response was, ooh, creepy, I like that. - All right, dude, fucking, we get it. - Yeah, absolutely. - Yeah. - Well, it also tells me a lot of the first thing you do when you got home was take his wig off. - Yeah. - You gotta check it for wig bugs, true? - Yeah, it's true. - You can't bring a new haunted doll into your vessel into your house and get wig bugs everywhere. - This person is the same person that writes these incredibly long screeds, but I did wanna highlight this. - Oh boy, I'm not a little, okay. One image repeated during my sessions with him. A fountain, not a little ground fountain either. A massive decorative estate fountain filled with goldfish. He was reaching in and putting them in his pocket. I said, why would you do that? And Bennett intuitively said, the toilet is basically an indoor pond. If you stop being negative for five minutes, then after a very dramatic pause he added, it was a scientific experiment and everyone overreacted. Apparently this is a sore spot. - What was the experiment, Bennett? - Pissing in the fountain. - Pissing the fountain. - No, he flushed it. You flushed the fish down the toilet. - It was a prank. You just didn't get it. - It was a prank and an experiment in the fact that you don't understand it. - I was trying to start a family vlog channel. And it was 1823. So like Bennett wouldn't even know what to do with me. - Yeah, cause this continues for quite some time actually. And it is just a long history of this small German ghost bullying the swimming in the submission. I don't blame her for wanting to get rid of Bennett. He seems like a real dingleberry. - Yeah. Wait, let's just say at the bottom, the entertainment purpose is only. - Oh no, okay, I do, I guess legally you're right, Griffin. - Ebay rules, I need to inform you that this is for entertainment purposes only and you're buying a tangible item. I'm not responsible for the behaviors you may experience, but you can't say I didn't warn you. You should say that part before the other part. Like you should totally break the story at the end. Don't break it in the middle. - For the Ebay items, it's like pay me $100 and I'll have a witch castus bell that makes you dick bigger. What do they say at the bottom of those? - What kind of- - What you do, you get a little scroll like in Wizard of Oz, where he handed him the thing that said he had like a great brain or whatever. - Yeah, and it's just a tidy scroll that says like better dick. You know, like a little, it's like read this out loud, maybe you're not. I don't know the exact mechanism of it. I've never had to order one. I just order a harem of virtual succubi living my home. (laughing) - I did see it scrolled by a quick there that Shirley Navarre was a previous doll owner that apparently Andy style wrote her name on the boy's head on his wig. - Yeah. - What if that's how Andy had marked, would he? Would he just had a neck tattoo that said Andy on it? - And these are manipulates he drew on. - You are a toy. - And these are my- - You are a tangible item. - Why don't they- - These are my anatomically correct nipples. - They should have a haunted doll character in the movies where it's like, no, no, no, you don't understand. Like she comes to life, but she's like kind of alive all the time and the life that she has is different. It's from ours. It's not like ours. How like we kind of spark her with fun and joy. - I hear you talking, would he? (laughing) - Bro, you hear how she does that partner? Why'd she sound so dumb, freaks me out? You hear, bro, now I'm usually talking about toy stuff, but he's over there talking about like, you have weird balls, get him out. Let me see, like- - Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. It's called My Brother, My Brother Me. Even after all these years, we stuck with it. - Remember it. - We got new merchandise for you. This is your last chance, actually. Your last crack in our May merch. Got Count Donut Cape Vault sticker by Nate Freiburg. You can make any vault into a Cape Vault. And don't talk to me until I've had my podcast mug and an I like all buts and no government mug with a digital cross stitch pattern of that as well. So a lot of great stuff in there. - Also, I wanted you to just give a shout out. Let y'all know, our dad is gonna be in 1776 and the Keith Al be coming up this summer. I'm sure we'll talk about it more, but like, he plays the train. - I don't know how you feel about America now or even America then. But our dad's in around by then. - Yeah. - Who knows? - Who knows. - I wanna say thanks to Montagne. Could you start a team song? My life is better with you. Just listen to that Montagne app of Off-Menu. It's so delightful, so entertaining. - I have to say this important announcement, I'm so sorry. But Monday, June 1st at around 815, we're doing the brush ceremony. - Oh shit. - Yeah, so if you want to have your name read there, please head on over to maximumfund.org/join. Any new supporters through 1159 PM Eastern on May 31st and you will have your name read into the brush that increases desire. - Also worth noting, we are moving Clubhouse back a week to accommodate Griffin traveling and we're having a guest on our French ID. So that'll be June 2nd that we're doing Clubhouse. This week is going to be a game stream with me in Justin. - Perfect. - I have an Accadren attention headache bottle that I could throw, it's got a couple of pills left. I might make a good one. - Oh, that's a good sound. - That's a good sound. - I got like 10 pins. - Okay, great sound. - I have like 10 markers. - Yeah, it's already got those in his hands. So I'd actually love him to throw all 10 of them. - Yeah, it'll be a cool sound, I bet. - Yeah, it'll be a good sound. And a big mess for you to clean up after. I like it. - Yeah. - 'Cause it won't be funny, 'cause we'll be gone. They'll be doing it by himself. - Yeah. - Three, two, one. - Oh, that was good. - That was like a firewood. - That was great. - That was great. - My name is Justin MacCorey. - I'm Griffin MacCorey. - I'm Travis Mac, okay. - This has been my brother, my brother. He kissed her dad square on the lips. (upbeat music) ♪ It's better with you ♪ ♪ It's better with you ♪ ♪ It's better, it's better with you ♪ ♪ It's better with my life ♪ ♪ It's better ♪ ♪ It's better, it's better with you ♪ ♪ It's the truth, it's better, it's better with you ♪ ♪ It's better, it's better with you ♪ - Maximum Fun, a work-around network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.