MBMBaM 814: Pibbonade

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? It's a start of something beautiful, a small acquaintance has blossomed, it's wrapping into a precious friendship. I could have never seen what was coming for me, hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach, my life, it feels like. It's better, it's better with you, my life, it's better with you, this is true, it's better with you, this is true, it's better with you, my life, it's better with you. Hello everybody, welcome my brother, my brother, and me, an advice show for the modern era, I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy. Well hello there, we're not Travis Nation, it's me, our middle-aged brother Travis Big Dog Wolf of Vroom Vroom, the heater, our word-winning McElroy. Ohoy, Sailor, welcome to my brother, my brother, me, I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin McElroy, set sail for the ocean of laughs, set sail, certain. We made a huge mistake before we started recording today, and we started having a conversation without recording it, and it was a conversation we were engaged, yeah we were talking content, we were just going down the drain, we sensed it, I mean I think we all kind of panicked, we sensed it, we were like, wait, we got to get the mic's roll on this guy, because this is, this is just, people forget this, this is just our crazy mixed up one, this is just like a hang with us, FRFR guys, fam, this is the show, this is just us. And you're here, don't, I hope you're not attached to that shit, because we're going to be shooting it together, just chopping it up as three brothers, I can try and organically get us back into the combo if you guys. No, it's just adult Legos, that's the topic of conversation, which is, I think it's fun, I think everybody recognizes that there are two classes of Legos, there's adult Legos and Legos for kids. Yeah, that's it, that's an understood thing, sometimes they are for kids subjects, but the number of pieces and detail work required, suggests an adult supervision. We're throwing the word adult around a lot, I've said before I got real hang up whenever somebody labels something, adult something, 'cause it's the same Legos. What are you talking about Legos? Do you give a kid a gun? I mean, what are you talking about? There's things that are for children. What are your guns? No, no, but Legos has a different ring to me than adult Legos. Adult, what about mission? Let's unpack that, Travis, what are you so uncomfortable with right now, 'cause I'm saying there are some Legos sets that a child, is it going to have the patience to endure? No, they're mature. Because the reward. That's the way it works, too, Legos after dark. You heard how bad that is, too. Yeah, that's how I hear it in my head. Yeah, but you're perverting it. My purity shouldn't be a burden, it should be a resource to be tapped. I know what I mean, it shouldn't be. I'm done hiding in the shadows, my love of adults Legos. That's fast free S Legos. I think it's a great way when you're winding down from a day where the world and your children have conspired to strip all semblance of control away from you, correct. To sit over a bunch of little plastic guys and snap them together in the way that the Lord ordained and then together they make the great wave of Kanagawa. And then you can put that in the background of your shot and then you can write that Legos set off on your American taxes. I mean, that's good. We love that. We love the fraud and man. We love the fraud and the art group government. Oh, yeah. Just taking a little bit back. Here's the problem, Griffin. I also have several Legos sets around me, but I also have a metric ton of other shit in my office. This is why can I tell you my secret? I got a high ceiling in my office and floating shelves. So I can put more shit just out of eyeliner. So when you're looking around, you're like, "This is the normal amount of shit in here." And then you look up six inches and you're like, "Oh, there's a whole other layer of shit in here." Travis has actually some marking tape down on his walls showing exactly where his camera is recording and just immediately beyond the perimeter of that tape. It's fucking, it's old hero clicks. It's like 15 swords. The only stuff that goes behind me in the shot is things about me. Right. Rocket man. Rocket tear, excuse me. Rocket tear. We already did our annual office work. No, but that's it. Those are the three facets of my personality. I'm willing to share your own shit in Rocket Man. Yeah. First, I would like to pitch Legos called the Rocket tear. So Rocket Man is your favorite Harlan Williams film. I would like to first suggest Legos for FOR adults. Like, to be clear that it's not the number four. Okay. Legos for. That's cool, Juice. I don't know that there were a lot of people out there thinking that we were talking about. Like cargo for kids. Like four adults that we had made out of Legos. But it's the branding. Legos FOR, not the number. Oh, we're not doing it because Legos for kids. Okay. This is Legos FOR adults. That's cool. So it makes it clear that it is an adult product. Yeah, I want to make it clear that Legos in no way calls these adult Legos. Anyway, because I was just trying to help them with the brain. Yeah, but like kids, if you want to spend $650 on a 8,000 piece set of Minus Tirith, they'll take your money. They will accept that. They will have a talk. They don't check IDs at the Legos store. I know. Okay. I am at the risk of going too deep into my psyche. Here is the issue that I have with these Legos sets. I have put together two now. I put together an NES and a Game Boy. I very much enjoyed the process of doing them. So great. Juice, juice, juice, juice. When you've been hit, when you've hit the pinjam in a couple of times and you're just mellowing out, and it feels like we can like talk about stuff like this now because dad doesn't listen to the show anymore. But like, when you have a little bit of a buzz on, and then it's like connect this two by three to that flange. It's good, right? How about a starch and putting together the planet expression? Oh, this fucking. I get it. And when you see someone like doing a crossword in a wingback chair by a fire. Oh, yeah. Is it a Nepal wittling? No. Grandpa, a little high, putting together. And I just say two quick things. One, oh gosh, great idea, man. I've never thought of it. No, I'm not suggesting it. Oh, sorry, that was. What? I was commiserating like, it's good, right? Not like, you've got to try Legos high. I would never suggest that. Have you ever tried Legos on a wing? Yeah, no. The other thing, it was a quick sidebar to that. What, you just said on that. What's the show anymore? Yesterday, we did Club House at 3. Or at 2.30. And dad texted us. That was really fun, guys. Halfway through the episode of Club House. Yeah. Like, not at the end of it. The introduction was very fun. We were saying, like, he was done, maybe. He loves going to the show. He found the secret setting on YouTube that makes it play so fast. You can go forward in time and see the stream when it's done before it's done. He basically said, "Sinasa, hey, great show. Halfway through the show." It's because he had the other things he needed to do. Will you guys tell me if it goes. If my stuff in the background kind of goes too far. Because I feel like I've been trying to be less. Wait, I need to come. You interrupted me halfway through my point. Sorry. I don't want to be like this. I thought your point was over. No, because you started talking about weed. And that was a sidebar. So don't ever run. Sorry, dude. You must understand we were seven sidebars deep at that point. I simply listened to it. Right, I understand the nature of the show. But I would like to complete my deep job. Please, please. So I've constructed these two sets. Here's the problem that I have. Once the set is done. It is immediately communicating things. I do not wish to communicate about myself. I enjoyed the time I spent with it. But I do not want to be reminded that I spent time assembling the Legos. When people come by and they notice or observe this set. Uh-huh. Which they don't because I would hide them away. I don't let people would see them. They might think that I was proud of the fact that I was able to assemble this Legos set on my own. That is another, I feel like I fear implication of having them on display. Right? Like yeah, yeah, I'm the bad boy you heard about. I had all the free time and I did it. And I don't, so like aesthetically I like these objects. Sure. And I have them in my office. But I feel like having them in my home after I've completed the set. They are now communicating that I don't wish to possess them. Yeah. Justin, let me fix that for you. Let Travis fix that for you. I'm going to fix that for you real quick, Justin. Don't try to fix it by making me like you though. You promise. No, I promise. Gallery style information placard next to it. That list number of pieces and time it took you to complete. Yes. So Justin, this wasn't just you putting together a Legos set. This is an art installation now. Yes. - The hours to complete is, that is exactly the worst thing. - Well, you're fudge it, well, you're fucking fudge it, dude. - You fucking fudge it, dude. You think they don't fudge that shit on those plaques or it's like, fucking fudge it. - You just fucking put like 23 minutes to completion. - That's what I'm talking about. - 20,26. - Yeah. - 17,000 piece daily bugle model to scale. I finished it in 11 minutes and 35 seconds. - No help, no help, no book. - No assistance. - Fucking by eye. (laughing) That should be the, there should be another tier that they should call like a real adult legos. - Yeah. - And they show up their big fucking huge sets with no book. No separation in the bags. You get one big loose box of battle. - No guarantee that it's even a set. It might be three or four different sets. They just dumped in a box together. - Well, I didn't want to make up stuff. - That's not fun. - Yeah, gross, I'm imagining. - I, the worst thing you can do with a Lego set, and this is probably the scariest situation you end up in as a parent. - Yeah. - And I have made this mistake a couple of times now, is you start a Lego kit with your child because you think it will be a fun bonding activity. And then halfway through, guaranteed. Maybe earlier, they lose interest. And then you have a problem. You have a half assembled Lego set. - Sure. - And you have many unappealing options at this point. You will not return to it. You can maybe, you know, you shove it off half finished. That's a huge mess. You've finished it on your own. - Mm-hmm. - It's not what you signed up for. That's gonna feel bad pretty soon. There's probably other stuff you gotta do. - Henry really enjoys the Animal Crossing Lego sets that have come out. And I do as well, but he doesn't enjoy finishing them. And we have like a little table where we do a lot of our building of these little little sets. And it does look like the Animal Crossing Island has been savaged by a terrible maelstrom. It does look like Tom Nook's shop. The roof is fucking gone. - It's an infrastructure problem. - Yeah, no, absolutely. It's an infrastructure problem that the island has been devastated and it's sad. - Justin, when that happens to me, I like to have a little pretend sash with myself where I'm an industrial revolution worker in a factory. And oh, the four-man, who's one of my children, is gonna really get mad at me if I don't finish this Model T like today or whatever, right? And I gotta put it together. So it's not fun anymore. - Is that not the narrative you have going on? I just assume this is the narrative all parents had sort of going on in their head whenever they were doing something like gluing a toy's arm back on a guy that you know they're probably not gonna play it with. I gotta, I have to stand here and compress the arm. Now I'm doing medicine to this toy. I'm dock-me-fucking-stuffins. I can't walk away from this patient now. They'll die on the table. - And every so often you get to do a gym to an imaginary camera like you're on the office. - I'm like, um, work, huh? - Yeah, that's what parents do. - Well, you guys tell me if I have too much, like, you don't want us to be a change. - No, this is what I'm saying. I think that three of us are the only ones capable of keeping each other honest about this stuff because we're all like way past. We're all way fucking past the edge, man. Like, we're way deep in. And if one of you, if you two come together and say, "Hey, Griffin, that ministerial set, it pushed it over the edge." And now you're like, that's huge. That's huge. - You're like, you can rep a ministerial set. This is what I'm, this is what I'm good at. - This is where I don't think that I could. An adult Lego is a tribute of your life minutes, right? You said here, I sacrificed myself to you, a tiny plastic game boy. Thank you for your, thank you for your shape of my life. If someone looks at that and they say, "Damn, you must love Game Boy." I'd be like, "Yeah, man." I love it. - You know what I think? And I think it's probably the air. I'm just saying from Lord of the Rings, there's so much. - Griffin knows what ministerial is off the top of his head. So yeah, I think he's a lot good. - I was folks too, Travis. Most folks do. I would argue, most folks know about me. - And plus Griffin played Fredo Baggins in the Lord of the Rings movies. - Oh, that's true. - That's true. - I actually played Fredo Baggins in the Lord of the Wings movie. So this was my brief stint. - Stop, core pornographic actor. - It was nominated for a brazzy for that, which is like a razzy for porn. - Yeah, they call it a brazzy. And I was Fredo Baggins, I think, I said. - Yeah, and it was actually Brazzy's first brazzy. So Griffin brought home the braz. - Six years. - And as you put, in the ring, I guess, would go on his wiener. - And Orlando Bloom was also in it. - Orlando Bloom was in that so was Sir Christopher Lee. So he played Sorry Dog. - That's pretty good. - Sorry dog. - We could do this all day. - Sorry dog. - Sorry dog. - Yeah. - Now let's come up with more. - Don't stop there. - Yeah, okay, Gandalf. - Yeah. - We did that one. - And a test. - I do Gandalf. - A test live show. Tom Bombadill, there's gotta be something there. - I mean, there's nothing. - Maybe there's not as many as they say. - There's a airborne and put a metal in yourself. But Tom Bombadill, but Bill, Bill, Tom. - Tom Bombadill though. - But it's the change to Bombadill though. Tom Bombadill though. - Guys, Tom Bombadill. - Say it. - Say it. - Wait, Tom Bombadill. - No, I don't know. It's almost there. - This is taken. - Wait too long. - Shut up. - Tom, BB-L though. Why'd it add the dough? Why not just Tom BB-L? - 'Cause your, I didn't deal those crepes in there too much. - I think we'll put it to a poll. I'll think we'll put it in front of the focus group. But I do not wanna do porn parodies of Lord of the Rings anymore 'cause it is 20, 26 still. - That's true. - That's true. - That's been 20, 26. - It's like on a not-er-newable resource that it was almost so good. - Remly, second. - Remly. - Second. - Remly. - Seconds again. - Remly's good though. (both laughing) - Remly blowin' is some. Remly son of blowin'? - You can't just say the ones that you like. - Yeah, I can't. - That's why I don't do that. - That's actually me. - Yeah. - You can't just say the funny ones. Like then it's like, 'cause then it's inauthentic. - Yeah. - It's dishonest. You know what I mean if you only say the funny ones. - It's just that I haven't thought about Lord of the Rings in a decade. And so the fact that I remembered Gimli at the poll. - You gotta have a think about Lord of the Rings. - Quick, what's the age at which? You will think, I'm gonna show my kids Lord of the Rings. - I've thought about this question a lot, Justin. 'Cause I have actually watched you. - Oh God, imagine my surprise when you lean forward. See, I think that's your way of telling me I've gone too far. And I don't think we'd ever say that. - No, I mean, let me just say, I think that we would never say to each other like, "Hey, Travis, I'm worried about you." Because we grew up. - I wouldn't ever need to say that to me so many times. - I will never communicate, look at me in the eyes. - Yeah. - I will never communicate something I want you to know with a microphone in front of me. - Absolutely. - That's good news. - Okay, that's good to know where the wall is. - Can you see this here? - Yeah. - I'm probably lying. You don't mean like that's-- - Those movies have, approximately, if you take the whole runtime of like the whole thing, we'll say the non-extended editions. That's still like 10 hours of film. And in that 10 hour film, you see 12,000 orcs beheaded. - That's a tough hang, I think, for a kid. - It's a tough hang. - Yeah, it's a tough hang. - It's a tough hang, very scary. - They get beheaded a lot in their nest. - A lot. - They talk about eating guys, they try to eat guys. It does help with the scary nests, perhaps. - Yeah. - When you see how easy they have pop off. - 'Cause this is a head man. - Woo! - No problem. And I tell you, the only thing Henry knows about these films is the scene where fucking Gandalf and Saramon have their wizard fight and you see two old men break dancing, having a battle in a marble tower. And I remember seeing that as a kid, not knowing fucking anything about this franchise. And seeing that, me like, that's really fucking funny. Why is that in this pic? Why are these two old wizard men break dance battling? This is crazy. - You're too long to expose your kid to these iconic landmarks. Then meme culture will back them into it. Like, I'm so afraid my kid's whole understanding of Star Wars is permanently set up by baby Yoda eating chicken nuggets. - Yeah, that's the first thing that they understood about Star Wars is like, oh yeah, chicken nuggets. It's a big part of that whole franchise. - You take 'em to see Grogu's Mandalorian and they're gonna be waiting for the nuggets to show up the whole time I can pretty much guarantee you that that's not gonna happen 'cause they do not sell those at any of the Star Wars. - Well, Gryffind, I tell you what's not gonna happen is that any of that situation 'cause if I brought my kids, my kids love the baby Yoda. - Oh wow. - Cooper loves Grogu, loves Grogu. If I brought Cooper into a movie theater and made her sit still in the dark for two hours and watch baby Yoda, she would punch me square off in the nose. And I would deserve it. - Yeah, sure. - And I would admit that movie is two hours and 12 minutes long. - No songs. - To see it. - No songs. - That we know of. We can't actually talk about the Grog-- - Yeah, we can't talk about the Grogu two weeks. - We can't talk about the Grogu two weeks. - People are gonna suspect it's some sort of secret activation that we got. - Yeah, fuck it. - Yeah, fucking right. - I would love it though. Hey movies, movies. - Hey movies. - If you're making a movie I wanna see, if every 10 minutes you could have a musical number, it doesn't have to have anything to do with the story. - No. - Just a musical number every 10 minutes to kind of break up the movie I wanna see with a movie my kids would watch. - Yeah. - You did that great with K-Pop demon hunters. - That was good. - That was good. - You fucking crush it was my boy Shrek. You'd be watching Shrek. - Yeah. There's a lot of exposition and then I'd be like, "Then I saw her face." It's like, "Okay, damn, damn, damn, damn." - Cool, awesome. - Thanks, Smash Mound. - More of that, please. - We have to do an advice question. I love talking about this stuff with you guys. - Okay, I love to. Then just wait, and I'll do it right. - And another thing. - I've been working at a production company for two months now. This weekend, we're having a rap party at a bowling alley. I've been bowling since I was 10 years old. I have my own ball and shoes, and I'd say I'm better than the average bowler if I could to my own horn. Is this too intense of an energy to bring to a work party? I'm a fairly new hire, and I work in post-production. So not a lot of people there might have only seen me in passing, or don't know me at all at this point. That's from Brave, Little Buller, and Bethlehem. And what a good question. - And what a good name. - What a good name. - What is it, it's the most? - I think it's a real tightrope on this one, 'cause you don't wanna slow play it too much and see him like a hustler, right? - Don't lie, yeah. - But you also don't wanna comment and be like, watch this, right? Like, okay, that's assuming that the vibe at this post-production rap party is going to be exceedingly competitive. I think in this exact circumstance, we all, the three of us have a team, we work with a team of people who help us make all of our stuff and they are incredible, and we all live remotely. I don't think any one of us lives in the same city as another person. So that time for FaceTime, it is somewhat limited to certain live shows or whatever. If we did a bowling party and it turned out that one of us was secretly fucking dope at bowling, that would be the lower expansion would be huge. - Right, but you're talking, what if it was like the most recent person we hired and you're still trying to, okay, but wait, you're still trying to form a mental picture of that person and then it's like bowling and that's it. - Yes, like their brand is bowling. Your brand is bowling. - I think you're missing the point of the question as well, Ditto. It's not like, the question is how to introduce the skill level in the way that leads to awesome. - I beg of you, I beg of you, please do not try to say it beforehand, you will go into the gutter on your first one and you will quit, you'll quit your job, you'll say, "Hey, just a heads up for everybody, I'm pretty fucking good at bowling." (laughing) - Well, thanks, this has been fun, I'll clean out my desk. - My question is, is the introducing of your own bowling ball, your personal bowling ball, kind of making that statement for you? - That's what you need, yeah. - That's, yeah. But that's like, I wouldn't do that, I don't think, 'cause then if you break, you're like, don't worry, I brought my own ball. (laughing) - Well, about, that's the best thing to say to everybody. - Yeah, I just wanted today, I just wanted today, and it's my hand broke with the KONG. That's doing a row. Bye, thank you so much. - I quit, this is a great, I quit again. What if people think that you're not part of the company, you are instead a very good baller that won't leave them alone? - A ringer. - Yeah. - Always like a certain. - Man, it must be cool to be into bowling and then you get to have your own bowling ball. How much do you think one of those mystery men bowling ball with the skull inside of it, goes for? - $750 to $52. - Travis print that off, Travis print me, is it print me a mystery man bowling ball? - Print me a usable mystery man bowling ball. - Okay, it's all you have to provide the skull. - Quick Etsy search for mystery man bowling ball. - And I want it to be remote control, I want it to be able to fly around and smash bad guys and stuff. - Yeah, search practical years. - Oh man, oh gosh, you want to send the wild? - Yeah. - And mass produced them apparently, according to Reddit. - The prizes. - Yeah, and like after the movie came out, they might be on eBay. - But I can't find a glowing piece of the radical rock from Guts, I can't find a Guts trophy to save my goddamn life. - I suspect they keep the, they say, and you'll take this home and you don't fucking take it. - They give you a voucher for like 80 bucks or something adjusted for like 1996 money. I think you have one chance. I can't stop thinking about this as anything other than an opportunity to cement your legend in the company. And if you do have an opportunity to say, not by the way, I'm really fucking good at bowling. And then what if you hit a strike, right? Like my mind doesn't jump to like, what if you feel really bad? It's like, what if you allow yourself to succeed? And you do that. You're all of a sudden, a sort of a made person at this company, you're the one who did the coolest fucking bowling thing ever. You just have to think of the right thing to say 'cause we're not gonna come up with that. - No, here's what it is. Oh, I think you don't talk about your level of skill. You talk about, if you say, I've been bowling since I was 10, right? Then it informs like a level of practice without making any promise of level of skill. - Yes. I've been doing it for 15 years and I've been bad always. - Yes. - But I can't get enough of throwing this heavy stone. - But I, yeah, I got drunk and bought this bowling ball on the internet, fucking suck it, hitting the pins, but I love crinkle-cut french fries. They are so good. - I have a plan and I think it's foolproof but I want you guys to help me troubleshoot it, okay? You walk up and you gotta make sure your boss is out there, right? Your boss is out there. And you say, hey boss, I just wanted to apologize and they're like, for what? And then you say, it's my first week on the job and then you throw the ball, you hit all the pins down and you say, and I'm already on strike. And then you walk away, right? Now, why is this a foolproof plan? Because there are failure points at which you can change the plan. - So, okay. - So here's what you say, hey, you say your boss. - I start with what if you walk out there and the boss isn't there? So that's a failure point, maybe. - So you wait, you stay there. - You wait, you just stand still and wait like. It's still like, and if you say, so you say like, and you're holding the ball, you're holding the ball like. - And they show up and you're like, I just wanna say, I'm sorry. If you with it, then it's like, I farted. - Yeah. - Oh nice. - So that part, I think you know that that part needs some work. I think you thought that there was gonna be a thing to say there that would be normal and cool. And then you realize suddenly like, you needed something to apologize for. - I've been embezzling. - Yeah, yeah. - I mean, that one's bad too, but Travis is maybe worse, right, Griff? - Yeah, Travis is worse for sure. - I was just trying to adjust it and look good. Thanks for throwing me on to the bus, Justin. - Let's try to help you out if you're dumbfounded. - Yeah, you volunteer for that. He made sure that the bus went right over you. - Yeah. - Give him an actual wheel and see it towards me. - Yeah, a trolley problem. - Okay, so a different apology like, if the boss comes up and they have a bowling ball also that is personalized, this is another failure point that you can clock. If the boss comes up and you're like, hey, boss, I'm sorry. And then that's when they pull out their orb. - Yeah. - Big boss, CEO, gold. Then it's like, I'm sorry that I just-- - Does it say gold? Does it say big boss, CEO, golders? - I just pissed my pants. - Yeah, I'm sorry, I pissed my pants. - So it seems like the exact same thing just happened to you again, Juice, where you were like, maybe if I talk for a while and I deal will calm. But then you got to the end of a lot of talking, you're like, I guess I pissed my pants. - You say, yeah. - Talk for longer. If you talk for longer, the idea will come to you. I promise you. - Yeah, yeah. It's sometimes you say, you're saying I pissed my pants before you realize it. - Yeah, you could, is there a way of doing it and if it goes in the gutter, be like, I'm sorry that went in the gutter. I'm sorry I didn't do better. - I'm sorry, I disappointed you. - I'm sorry, I disappointed you, Dad. - I'm sorry, that was the wrong lane. - Yeah, and then if you strike it and you turn, that part's set in stone. You're gonna say, I'm already on strike or is that a potential sort of, if you turn after hitting the strike and you realize like, actually, this isn't the moment, the conditions here are actually pretty great and, - Yeah, they're a failure point. (laughing) They're a failure point, then it's probably most likely, is they miss the first thing. And then you come back and you go to deliver the punch line and they're looking at their phone. - Yeah. - So in that case, I need a plan for that too, I think. Because when they were just here, I'm going on strike. And then the communication possibility there is quite high. - They may miss the strike and then you just say like, I could. - Yeah. You can't fool me, I'm sticking to the union. I collected bargaining, I love it, I love it, it's great. I don't think you can just do one guy. Like I don't think you can just be one guy and be like, and by the way, never gonna get it, never gonna get it. Because I do think it's sort of like they do that. It's better if there's more people. - Collective bargaining does imply that they're a collector. - There's a collection of subs. - Yeah, once you hit the strike and you say, it's my first week and I'm already on strike, then you do have to turn to the other employees and try to get them on your side. - Yeah, that's part of the walk out, you know. - I guess you can turn around and be like, or should I say, we're on strike. And the hope is that they're so impressed by your strike that they're like, we'll follow you anywhere, King. - Yeah, yeah. - Let's try this place around. - I'm the boss now. - They all step up and throw like concurrent strikes. - Yeah. - They all go on strike, too. That'd be cool. You gotta practice a little bit ahead of time, but. - I think more labor disputes should be solved with bowling tournaments. - I agree. And I think, I think the unions will probably get way more wins in that case. I don't know. That's just me. - I was in a work meeting with my staff. supervisor and three other co-workers today. At one point, I was adjusting my seat by lifting myself up on my handrests. In doing so, my adjustable armrest slid all the way forward quickly, making a fairly loud sound. My supervisor made conversations that, "Oh, excuse you." I panicked. It didn't know how to respond and didn't say anything. Then the meaning continued on as normal. Brothers, how can I recover from my supervisor and co-workers thinking I farted? For some context, the call was with my supervisor, two co-workers, and an HR rep to discuss how we communicated or get our company to direct reports. We were on a team's call with our cameras on. That's from this week's suspect. I tell you, man, when these like, company folks, like start talking, start talking about this stuff, I can't even understand it. Teams, HR rep, supervisor, like I start to see these work. Call, chair, I can't communicate. Reorg. Come on, like, come on. I don't know, man. I don't think they thought you farted. Here's my justification for that. If they honestly did, I don't think anyone would say, "Oh, excuse you," out loud. I think that's the thing your armrest made a funny noise, and they were maybe being a little silly, maybe being a little like teenager, giving you a hard time. But I don't think anybody hears a noise, think someone farted, and their impulse in a professional call with an HR rep on the call is to loudly announce, "Oh, excuse you." Yeah. Well, I would say Travis has tamped that situation down nicely. Well, I think that there's a deeper call. I think, no, no, no. I think Travis is right. Well, I was looking at the time, Justin. It's about time to head into the money sense. So I wanted to give us a nice first pitch. Should we just try to do jokes, you know, like, just try to make like a joke about it. Sure. You talk more about pissing your pants with the bowling alley. The premise of the question, I don't mean undermine the premise of the question that you yourself included, but it does seem to be an onsite way to spend our Travis. That's question selection, Travis. He doesn't think of jokes. He's barely thinking at all. He's on autopilot looking for opportunities to make his brothers look good. I'm sorry. I pissed my pants. When Travis picks these questions, he gets in a big tub of goo, like in minority report, and he's just like fucking, like it's pure subconscious energy. And then they show up in the show and yeah, but if somebody's like, so tells this protracted story about a raccoon that came to their porch and stole all of their vegetables and then ran off and they don't know how to tell their neighbors. I'm hooked. And we're like, I don't think you saw a raccoon. Then it's like, well, what are we doing here? You know, we gotta, let's pretend that there was a loud rude fart sound. Hold on, wait, we can settle this right now. Just like, they farted. I don't mind, doesn't traffic a fart noise with your chair? Mine is like very mechanical. I feel like I'm in flight of the navigator. I'm doing it. Okay, so I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, he saw somebody doing an armpit fart on the street last week. It really took him back. He's like, I completely forgot about armpits. He's like, it's like seeing so many new pugs. It's just like, wow, armpit fart. I forgot. I think everybody hits a day with armpit fart, so they think like, I don't want to touch my nude armpit. Yeah. I'm good. It's either got B.O. on it or it's got the over and on it. Either way, I'm not eager to get in there. Farts. Travis, you do a podcast. You're married to a polite person. You're having a field day with that. I forgot what the white chair. I was gonna do that. Oh, dude, mine has so many vertices of adjustment that I set two years ago and haven't touched since. I can't. It's a classic problem with any chair that you have that with adjustable settings like that. You may go through it the first time, be like, yeah, how do I make it, you know, it's because you're not trying to make it comfortable because you've already decided that that's wrong. Yeah, because comfort has gotten you into that back pain position. So it's like, okay, you tell me, right, and then you just forget what all these buttons do. It is. It's a sore. It's that utopian ideal though. I always assume be it an adjustable seat in the car, adjustable seat, that there is an arrangement of pieces that if I sat down, would put me a body neutral, right, where I'd stand up. It's not like I feel comfortable, but I'm also not hurting myself. I need a tailor. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, just like floating. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, just your L connection just in the zone. L in the tank. That's how I want to connect. No more mouse and keyboard. Put me in the tank like L. Put me in the tank. I just put me in the tank. Put me in the tank. Papa. Papa and keyboard. I've got to record my podcast. Papa. Put me in the tank. Papa. Do you? Does one excuse a fart? This is with a question I've been trying to ask for about six minutes now. And I hate because very the bad guy, when you sneeze, it is expected that the other person says, bless you. If you burp, if you do a little polite burp, I think saying, oh, excuse me, that is on you. I feel like a flightist is you got it. Everybody just kind of pretends like they didn't hear it. It's got to be instant self-gas light. Instant self-gas light. I didn't hear a fart. I didn't hear anything. You have to ignore that it happened. Like you instantly start trying to the only adult thing to do is to instantly disabuse yourself in the notion that you heard a fart. You have to be casual in a very calculated way. You have to instantly unrelated comment. I just want to make sure we're on the pot. I wouldn't make sure we're at the same page. We're all comfortable in this moment, aren't we? Yeah. Any more living curd in the pot. What is the situation you're in that you've had a. There's, I brought to Austin Skollons for everyone. Okay, you're at the Mad Hatter's Tea Party and you. I just didn't change the subject. I'm like tea party. Should we go to the nice one? Yeah, we deserve it. It's better. It's better with you. I had to make a website recently. You guys know what I did? No, I probably spent two months on it. It was not a public website. It was a website that I needed to get some thoughts organized and I thought the best way of doing this is to build a website with Squarespace because we've been talking about how easy it is and how you can make something that looks great. It is a really, really wonderful experience. It's even better than the last time that I did it. They have fantastic templates created by the best designers in the business, which I've told you before, but seeing it in person, putting your hands on these iframes. Yeah, I did. Did my show look pretty good? Well, it's slow down because this is the first time I'm hearing about this, Justin. What is it? Yeah, Trevor. Have you ever been to a website like Exon.com? Yeah, every day. Have you ever been to website like Exon.com or geocities.com/sunsetstrip/studio/1967? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, those are websites they're made by people. What Squarespace does is they'll like it is an assistant that comes to you and says you don't know what you're doing, but I will help you. Give me your ideas and we'll do this together. We'll make a beautiful website. That's what Squarespace is. And right now, if you head to squarespace.com/mybrother for a free trial, when you're ready to launch, you can use offer code "MyBrother" to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. I want to tell you guys about trees. You heard about these things? I trust you. You're going to love these things. I am a very pleased and proud fastgrowingtrees.com customer. I have a lemon tree growing in my office and recently we went over to my in-laws house for a meal and I brought a lemon cake that I made with one of the lemons that grew off that tree. It was wonderful and I bragged about it a lot. Maybe too much? It's hard to say, but I grew my own lemon. That fucking dank, dude, like you got to show that off. When you grow your own lemon, are you kidding? Now it was just one lemon at the time. It's a small tree, but I was still very proud. It has lemon though, dude. This lemon was fucking. Don't undersell this lemon, dude. This lemon was the size of my head. It was a big ass. It was gigantic. I was very proud of it. And did you know that fastgrowing trees is America's largest and most trusted online nursery with thousands of trees and plants and over two million happy customers of which I am one. They have all the plants your yard or home needs, including fruit trees, privacy trees, flowering trees, shrubs and house plants. It's like your local nursery, but anywhere you live with more plants than you'll find anywhere else. All curated for your climate, which is wonderful. By the way, I live in Ohio and stuff changes here all the time. It's really hard to find their wild plants. Tell me about it, dude. Yes. Plus, with their alive and thrive guaranteeing on growing support from trained plant experts, you can plant and grow with confidence. I have an indoor lemon tree in my office, and I have. I think it's called a red bud growing in my front yard. Both of them absolutely thriving and both of them from fastgrowingtrees.com. I'm very proud of them. I love knowing that I control nature, like the God. It's why I have so many plants because it makes me feel powerful. Right, right. Yeah, so now's the perfect time to plant. They have great deals on spring planting essentials up to half off on select plants and listeners to our show get 20% off. They're first purchased when using the code MyBrother at checkout. That's fastgrowingtrees.com, code MyBrother, all one word, offers valid for a limited time, terms and conditions may apply. Griffin Lego has a curse of the black pearl ship from Pirate to the Caribbean with the crew. It's $500 and I don't know if I can justify it, Griffin. A goonie set! It's on Lego for $379. It's $2800 pieces. That's child's play. You could fucking knock that out. Ooh, I like the shire one too. I'm assuming it's just potted back up at some point during this. I want a much squad. I want two months squad. Rachel is much of that stuff of them talking about that. I think it's a beautiful tapestry, guys. That's the real content and I don't want to lose that in the edit. If we could just try to preserve as much of that, Rachel, if there was any of that conversation while I was in the bathroom that didn't have bank details or anything, if you could just make sure we preserve that. The real stuff. I don't want to lose any of it. I'm not a woman. I want to make that clear that I'm not making any judgments about our first story. We have two stories for you on the much-quoted podcast within a podcast, which profile is the latest and greatest in brand eating. Our first is that it is for is a celebration of women's health month. It starts with this. You glow, girl. You glow, girl. You glow, girl. You glow, girl. Is there any punctuation in there that you can serve? You glow, girl. Exclamation point. Playa Balls is introducing mermaids and that is capital S, capital Z, capital N. One fun thing that you could do when you encounter slang and press releases is google it and then append Reddit to it because then you could find a Reddit post from nine years ago where someone says, what's going on with Sussan? So, playa way on trend with this one. Sussan, it's mermaid Sussan during women's health month. It's a new line of four smoothies and balls that bring together two defining elements of the brand. Functional feel for women. Functional feel good ingredients and visually striking creations. The menu blends collagen peptides and blues spirulina, a protein rich anti-oxanate pack superfood. Wait, did you say blue? Not the blue, certainly not the blue spirulina. Yeah, but that's the best for women. Yeah, it's got mermaid worthy menu items with naturally bold colors and tropical flavors. This true star of mermaids is mermaid mood bowl featuring a Nutella drizzle and seashell treat for your health. I don't know. For the health for a woman's healthy body in mind. For a woman's health there's a seashell treat for you. Yeah, yeah, it looks like just a big chocolate seashell. Yeah, I bought you a large bowl of ice cream and a seashell treat. Have you had a seashell treat today? It will present your uterus from moving about your body. What this says, your uterus gets around bunches without your seashell treat. Dr. Zornos now have some of those otas. The bowl, the bowl plant, oh my god. The bowl blends, apply a pataya and apply a coconut basis, swirled with blue spirulina to create a flavorful mix of blue, pink, and soft purple tones, reminiscent of ocean waters where mermaids thrive. Like you women like you women like the ocean waters. That's like saying like the ocean is where fish thrive. No, it's just where they live. It's like they don't have another option. Certainly, they don't thrive on land, I guess, or in the sky. It's also ignoring your freshwater mumps. You know what I mean? Biting into the chocolate hazelnut shell reveals a rich gooey center. A small indulgence worthy of every mermaid at heart. Great. Yeah, they've also got a meadow bowl. We haven't checked this. But I bet chocolate's poisonous to mermaids. I'm just betting. There's no way. But why would they have that in the ocean? There's no fucking way. They're like immune system. They're gut microbiotics or whatever. Like ready for a big chocolate seasonal. If they had the courage of their convictions, this treat would just be like a raw fish. That's what makes me. They're not eaten. They apply a mix of stuff. They're eaten a fish head. It's a base infused with collagen peptides to support glowing skin, hair, and nails. Lared with fresh strawberry and banana. Then topped with chia seeds and a tub of cocoa whip. Light and satisfying. It's designed to deliver that blow from within feeling, which I think is a fun way of describing. Hey, about a quarter pound of chia is just ripping through to be like a freight train. Oh, I'm glad from within. Glowing from within, I can feel it. I literally feel every seed. So undigested are they? Mermaid season is all about supporting our important mermaids during women's health month. I'm with flavor-filled, beautiful, and functionally beneficial meals that you can only find at playa bowls. They've bought into the mermaid messaging so much that it's starting to sound like it's not for humans. Yeah. Yeah. Details like the seashell on our mermaid mood bowl and cocoa whip swirls are designed to be discovered and enjoyed. They're adding a playful, instinctive moment for guests. They're designed to be discovered and enjoyed. They are so fucking horny for this one chocolate shell, huh? Yeah. Yeah, we did it. We did it. We put one little chocolate shell in there. Yeah, it's in there. Keep looking. You're going to love this shit. You're going to love this shit, dumb dumb. You need you like your seeking fine of games. Here you go, mommy. You're going to find the chocolate shell. The other, this is better. This is more important news, guys. This is the big story. Can I just real quick before we hop off that story? Oh, I'd love to talk about that because, wait, real quick, are you guys women? Because I don't want to judge this women's health offering. It's the you-glow girl thing that I want to return back to because it made me-- Wow, the very first words of it. It made me wonder about sort of, there's a couple of interpretations of that, based on like, obviously, it's like second person, but is it like an imperative, or is it sort of just like a description of the-- It was a command. Okay. But that applies to you-go-girl as well. I'm realizing now because I think my whole life, I've always heard that as like a command sentence. Like, you better go, girl. But it could also be a simple kind of declarative, like, you are one who goes, girl. You did say, yeah, it could be like, I want to remain in the same place that you are at, girl. But I no longer wish to be in your presence. You go, girl. That's another take on it. You should be the one. This is a girl who goes. And so to describe that, I will say, you go. You go, girl. Now, what about you, girl? Ooh. Yeah. Sounds funny, but doesn't really- Well, if you want to- No, I'm putting sounds together, but it's just just- It's just, it's just, it's just- I'm gonna throw this white dragon, fucking the one that you build with the five parts on it. I don't like everything. Can I move on? Yeah, please. This, 'cause this, this story is important. And this, I, that's gonna feel pretty silly for stopping this- The podcast with this one. This Burger King have more Batman commemorative frosted glass mugs. Oh. 'Cause that we're about to get into, 'cause- No. Shit. I want to talk to you about the freestyle mini. The what? The freestyle mini. That actually took a breath away. Guys, it's a new, everyone knows the freestyle machine is the one good piece of technology from the past 10 years. The only one, yeah. We are, the only good techno- Name of another one. The freestyle, so to speak. The only good technology of the past 10 years is the Coca-Cola freestyle machine. And now it's getting a next generation update. I'm gonna read to you some things for this press release that you're gonna think I'm making up, but I swear to God. I swear to God. Everything I've had to read is real. Yeah. 140 years since 1986, the Coca-Cola company has been at the forefront of dispensed beverages 140 years later. The company is redefining the space once again with modular connected equipment that translates consumer trends into drinks faster than ever before. Ooh, okay. So when freestyle launched, the headline was variety, right? You could go to a freestyle machine. You push a button. You say, I went diet ginger ale with cherry flavoring. I want power rate. And that was the headline. You know, but now what merged over time is more transformative. A real-time data signal from tens of thousands of machines showing exactly what consumers are reaching for and returning to order again. y'all the freestyles and machines have never been about a choice, they've been about. watching you, you know what I mean? They've been about learning. - Wait, why? - And insightful data translates into a finished market-ready drink in as few as 90 fucking days. While the traditional process takes 18 months. For example, Coca-Cola freestyle developed and launched Fanta Crimson Sour Cherry in White Castle and Sprite Loco Lime in Wingstop both in under three months from concept to porn. - Okay, so to break this down, you're saying that there's like, we listen to Reggie who works at the fucking cinema downtown and every time he hits his soda machine, he makes his fucking Mr. Pib and Vanilla and a little bit of Powerade. And he's crazy for that shit. So we're like, this is Reggie's drink. - No, you stupid idiot. - Oh. - That's not it at all. The machine has been watching Reggie and the machine tells Coke, hey, there's this idiot Reggie. It is 20 idiot friends. And they always do this one mix and then Coke's like, well, let's sell that as a different thing and they're like, excellent. - That's exactly what I said. - Welcome to that. - Welcome to the Coca-Cola press conference. We have a big announcement today. - So we break down, which just happened. 'Cause I like that. - I like that. - And then just like, no, you're not understanding it. - And then he was like, no, Reggie is not reporting the information. The machine is reporting the information. - Right, right. Yeah, no, for sure. I think I understand, okay. What were you saying? - Okay, so you're not a, you kind of get it, but a lot of people don't. And that's a problem we've had at Coke for a long time. - Right. - So I don't want you to be embarrassed. - Right. - No, I am. - We develop Fanta Crimson Sourcery in White Castle in under three months from Wingstop to Poring. Do you know what I'm saying? - Members of the press, we've tracked, hello. My name is Dave Coca-Cola, the CEO of Coca-Cola. We've tracked people one. - Why did we only get one reporter? Hey Dave. Why didn't you only get one reporter at our press conference? We got 40 unoccupied chairs in this wonderbrony in the front. I'm sorry, sir. I don't mean Dave. - I invited a bunch of people. - I appreciate it. I appreciate you coming out. I just, you've already asked one really stupid question. - I'm actually here for the Associated Press, so they'll kind of just check it out. - What about Dave? Dave, what were you saying? - So we've tracked the data from countless movie theaters and fast-food restaurants. So today we're going to unveil our latest product, the one that everybody wants. This is a little bit of soda in a free water cup when the person's back is turned. You'll be able to buy this at every re-calocation. - You've got to do it. - And how good is this? - Oh, that's not the point. The point is that the water cup for you is free. - Hey man, fucking just say like. - It's really fucking good that we're doing. - Oh no, it's terrible, 'cause it's free. - No man, it's free. Hold on, don't try that again, but say like. - It's really good. - It's really good for us. - There we go. - The other one that we have that we're real. - Why did you need that? - Ethics. - SPJ. - The other product that we're really happy about is where you dump, like just a second worth of soda and it doesn't look quite brown enough and you think something maybe is weird about it so you dump it out. That's something we're selling for 30 things now. - Okay, I'm also happy. - You can now complain. Every soda comes with a person you can complain to about how maybe like the juice is out back in the back and they need to check the syrup or whatever. That comes standard with every package. - Trap, I'm gonna slap you a quote. A real quote from the real guy who has your real job. Just try to sneak it in if you can. - Please send me a script for a joke to say. - It's not a joke. - Oh, okay. We're announcing a lot of importance. You're also going that we're gonna put some funny, like a picture of iced tea on the iced tea thing. People love that. We're evolving our dispense equipment into a connected intelligent platform where every pore strengthens our understanding of consumers and every unit becomes part of a global network. At scale, that's what allows us to move faster, differentiator system and deliver more relevant experiences at the point of pore and you can like hit every button really quick to get a bunch in there and act like you invented it. - Return to your previous point. - Every word you just said was scary to me. - Which one? - Oh, it's just a police truck with that. - It doesn't look like the drink doesn't contain the actor. - The stuff after the stuff after I see every word you said sounded like the money thing. - The pushing the money thing. - I'm really quickly to get a little bit of feeling like you're being a purposefully kind of evasive right now. - Oh, was that about evolving our dispense equipment into a connected intelligent platform where every pore strength are understanding of consumers? - When I take my kids to see the Super Mario Galaxy movie and then they get a high C with a little bit of sprite mixed in there. - Yeah. - Because they're not all about that full carbonation life. They need to cut it with something. - Sure. - You're saying that they are being data mined to see a large large language. - Ragnol scanned, just basic stuff tracked. - And is that good? - Is that good that that's happening? - It's good for us. - We like that. It's good for it. We love that. - No, but it's exactly what you like. - I'm the nano-bots in the soda. - You know what I mean? So we can geo-track. - That's good. - We can do something like that. Because the story that I'm thinking of is like tech is so fun. I'm sort of the tech guy at the Associated Press. - Oh. - So like Robocop. - When I write about this stuff, I wish. It's always like this tech's fucking baller fam. So just like if you could sort of change the language a little bit to be less like we're watching you. We're watching you. We know your taste. We know what your family likes. - Yeah, we're with Nipple. - You want to take another pass at the quote there Greg? - I sent you another copy. A different copy. - And make it more just like tech is cool future. - Yeah, we got it. - We're getting there. - Your new monitor with add-ons include a remote non-nutritive sweetener system for high volume outlets of self-cleaning nozzle, cup and lid holders and bag in box or BAB. Waystation that provides operators with real-time visibility into product levels, eliminating guesswork and reducing out of stocks. - Question? - Yes. - Why can't you just talk fucking normal? Like, what is a non-nutritive sweetener? We'll start there. There's a button you can press to make the Mountain Dew sweeter. That's fucking crazy. What's that? - It's remote though. So we do it from here. - Yeah, we do it from here. - We do it from here. - Oh, and that's the real sweeter, baby. - I've got all these wires connecting my brain and I'm the remote. - So how do you decide if someone gets an extra sweet Mr. Pib? - Like, do you have a camera? - Do you have a camera? - And if they have spent more than a million dollars on coke products over the course of their life, they get a little extra sweetener to say thank you. - Okay. - They could just get a little bonus sweetener. God, I tell you, I tell you Dave, I was really worried. He was gonna ask about Hydrous, but I guess we had-- - I do actually, I have heard rumors about the sort of-- - Sorry, I wasn't talking to you. Do you have a question? You raise your hand. Have you never been it? He's never been it one before. I don't think. - All right, we're gonna have to electrify your seat for just two seconds. - Give him a quick buzz. - I do like that. - Don't do the buzz. - Yeah, I did a question, he did it and I fucking did not move. - That's true. - I get buzzed a lot. No, I've heard about Hydrous. I heard you were debuting it at the National Restaurant Show and it does sound like a monster. It sounds like a monster's name, Hydrous. It sounds like a monster's name. - Please don't talk about Hydrous anymore. We bet. - Okay. - It's just, it's a concern. - Yes, I have my notes here and I got this scuttle butt. - What have you heard? And I would either confirm or-- You tell me what you've heard and the thoughts and we'll either give you a guess for now. - It's so rare that someone responds with, I can either confirm or don't know yet. - Yeah. Usually you get the opposite in this business. I heard regarding Hydrous that every piece of equipment debuting at the National Restaurant Show shares a unified visual identity, Hydrous. Right across the entire Coca-Cola dispenser fleet. Hydrous is a consistent design language that signals quality and sets expectations before a single drop is poured. Whether a consumer encounters a Coca-Cola machine, the experience now begins the same way. (laughing) It's like they're charging headlong into dystopia. Like with this, really it's their life. At the forefront. - For soda. - Like dystopian, can we fucking get in one press release? - But it's good 'cause it's for soda. Do you understand? - Yeah. - You have to, if there's gonna be terrible dystopian advances that rob us of our community and many of them will be so challenging and painful, when there are some that are like, we just wanna give you the soda you want. We have to celebrate that technology. We have to take it and celebrate it. - It's a great tech. - It's a great tech. - It's a great tech. - It's a real slurm situation. Who, at the fucking National Restaurant Show, is gonna be like, damn, all these Coca-Cola dispensers look really good. And then someone is gonna have to be like, thanks, it's Hydras. - It's Hydras. - It's a unified Hydras. - It's called. (laughing) - Oh man, it's, what a bad time, man. We're gonna get through this, but man alive, you gotta take a moment to say like, wow, it's good. - No, your cat is, this is good. You're so mixed up, this is good. - Oh. - You're reading about bombs and stuff. - We hate that. - Yeah, no, obviously this is good. - This is good. - Of going on, but the fact that Coca-Cola is like, Hydras is watching you. You're like, that's good, actually. - You refreshed you better. - Don't refresh me better. - You're gonna refresh you better. - Yeah. - It's giving you what you want before you know you want it. - Yeah, it's refreshing you better. Just like- Like it's like a victimless crime. Like it just wants to be rich. - No, there's a couple victims just in that one example. I feel like this gave me caffeine-free flat Sprite. Is that what I wanted? I guess it is. - It's better for you. - It's what you want. - I don't think it. I wanted an icy. - I see. - There's also Coca-Cola ex-micromatic mix-up. - Awesome. - Developed in partnership with Micromatic. This is not alcoholic mix-ology dispenser. Takes familiar beverages, sodas, lemonade, teas, coffees, and layers-in syrups, dairies, and alternative dairies to create drinks that reflect the craft and customization consumers are increasingly seeking. That result is a level of creativity at the fountain that has not existed there before. - Is it got hydrists though? 'Cause if it doesn't have hydrists, I'm gonna be so fucking whipped with hydrists. (laughing) - Hydra's AI in it. (laughing) The global hydrism military platform. - Yeah. (laughing) There's an extra area there to fit in the AI. - Yeah. - It's in capitals. - There's everything's trying to get you all the time. I turn on my Sudoku app on my phone and it's like, "Hey, can we just fucking watch you?" And I'll be like, "I guess you're just Sudoku." I don't think I want Coca-Cola to know. I don't think I want Coca-Cola to pump me. I don't want them to pump me. - But hydrists, I think in my gut, I feel like the best thing you can do is if you see a any sort of freestyle setup that is not in the hydrist design language, I think you have a moral imperative to tear it from the wall. - Destroy it. - And destroy it. - They want you to. - They want to replace that. - Yeah. - They want to replace that machine. - It's a hydrist model. - At this point, it's a false idol and it is like, fucking the brand and like the thing you could do for high, like I think what hydrists would want. You didn't destroy all three style machines that are not hydrists enabled to clear the way for hydrists. - Hydrists, by the way, as far as I can tell, means a glossy red shell with a black, an imposing black outcropping with a screen on it. That's hydrists. And so they've made it also a kind of scary, like hydrists is. - Like the AI, like the thing from 2000, what a space, honestly. - It looks like a squid game guy. It looks like a squid game, like one of the guys on squid game that comes around and kills you if you bust, if you knock over the jingle tower or whatever. They've made it scary on purpose and they've called it hydrists. - Awesome. - Cool. - I think it would be fun if we all picked a terrible disgusting combination of beverages and agreed to order the hell out of it for the next six months, until Coke was like, this is what everybody wants. What if Coke is so disgusted with the actual date that it receives? They're like, we don't want to do this anymore. - The syrups that you people are putting in are vulgar and what don't want an answer is, we're just gonna do, you can have Sprite or Coke. From now on, there's one button and it pours flat water. That's all you get from now on. - We gave you infinite tools to create art and you guys made Pibbinade, which is Mr. Pib Illuminade. Mixed all up. That would slap maybe, actually. - What if that was one button that just said guaranteed universal insurance? - Just like one act and if everybody pressed it. - Everybody pressed it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It would count as a vote. Each but, dude, why are we wasting time in the voting booth? We should be doing it at hydrists. - Yeah, at hydrists should do the elections for sure. - And the new president is Fanta. - What if Mr. Pib, or like president, Pib? What if you stand when Mr. Pib comes in the room? - We should be done now. The show is over. This is free. But I do have to say free content for everybody. - It's the after show. - This is the after show. What if Stanley was prophetic. But instead of Hydra, it was Hydras. And instead of the Avengers, it was Doge. - Yeah. - And this is actually what the battle is. (laughing) - Wow, geez. What a cool, awesome. - Ariel. - Wow. - If you whipped up. - Don't do it like Justin, don't save this away for free. - Yeah, man. This is the after show, man. - Travel after this one. I don't know. I'm gonna have too many more commercial options. - That's right, Clay. - Thanks for listening to our podcast. We hope you enjoyed yourself. - Hail Hydras. - Speaking of consumerism, we've got some new merch. - Yeah. - We've got that don't talk to me until I have my podcast among the I Like All Buts and No Government mug, which is also a digital crossroads pattern. And my brother, my brother, and T, which is available at one or in a bundle with one of the mugs. - 10%. - All Hydras compatible, yes. 10% of all most proceeds this month will be done into the First Nations Development Institute. I just wanna say a huge shout out and an apology to my fellow spectrum riders who are now gonna be forced, compelled, chemically, biologically, to tell anybody who they are with when they encounter a Hydras machine that that is part of the Hydras design language. And no one's gonna wanna hear it, but we are gonna have to tell them that. - Got to tell. - Apologies, but you're welcome. You're gonna be doing a little education. - You can pre-order the Adventure Zone story and song. Right now, it's the final graphic novel in the Adventure Zone Balance Graphic Novel series. If you go to theadventurezonecomic.com and there's an exclusive pre-order gift of a postcard pack and sticker, it's available from our publisher if you submit your receipt at bit.ly/tazgngift. - Carrie posted those on Instagram. They look amazing. I will wanna secure my own ones of those as well. Thanks to Montaine for the use of our theme song, "My Life Is Better With You." - What's she forgotten how to draw all their stuff? - You know? - Yeah. - What is she forgotten how to draw all their things? - You know, she draws a draw robot or something. Well, we got robots, but you know. - So thank you Montaine for the use of our theme song, "My Life Is Better With You." Montaine recently featured on an episode of "Off Menu." - Yeah. - It's a really enjoy. It's very fun. I don't know if we should be plugging other shows like, go listen to that one, but then never again. - Unless you like it. Many give this into more of it. - We got throw some. Just to eat out some of the throw. - Yeah, I got this. Look at this adorable potion bottle at the red fair. - That is cute. - It's soft, crocheted, should be a good throw. - Okay, let's do it. - Have you guys been throwing it at the wall or at your chair? - I've been throwing it at the chair, but. - Yeah, but like, we're throwing it at the wall to see what stays, right? - The chair is so soft. I feel like it dulls the sound a little bit. I usually, I mean, I have a pretty big space to aim for here. - You guys don't, maybe. - Nothing. - That's pretty fun. - I could hear it. - Well, my name is Justin McRoy. - I'm Travis McRoy. I'm Griffin McRoy. - They're not all that mean loud. - I don't remember them. Kiss your dad's square on the lips. ♪ It's better with you ♪ ♪ My life ♪ ♪ Oh ♪ ♪ It's better, it's better with you ♪ ♪ It's better with my life ♪ ♪ Oh ♪ ♪ It's better, it's better with you ♪ ♪ It gives us true love ♪ ♪ It's better, it's better with you ♪ ♪ My life ♪ ♪ Oh ♪ ♪ It's better with you ♪ - Maximum fun. - A work-road network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.