MBMBaM 807: Riding in Floors with Boys

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? - What? - It's a side of something beautiful. A small quaintance has blossomed, it's wrapping into a precious friendship. I could have never seen what was coming for me, hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach, my life. It feels like. It's better, it's better with you. My life, it's better, it's better with you. This is true, it's better, it's better with you. My life, it's better with you. Hello everybody, welcome, my brother and my brother and me, an advice show for the modern era, I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy. What about "Travination" as me, I'm an honest brother, Travis, big dog, wolf, wolf, room, room, the heater, award-winning McElroy. And you already know what it is, "Travination" as me, you see, baby, by the Griffin 30 under 30 media luminary? Award-winning McElroy, saying award-winning in there when I'm already saying another award I'd want, the 30 under 30 video award-winning. Yeah, award-winning is maybe a cleaner way of doing that, McElroy. Welcome to our show, we hope you are having a great, great week. Guys, what's been happening? Damn man, I was about to say, I guess Mr. Bean's not out here making any new Netflix series to speak of whatsoever. I guess Timmy Chalamet hasn't said anything silly and injurious to his career. Oh no, we didn't talk about Timmy Chimmy. We did, we talked about Tim Chim, for sure, we definitely had a whole like 10 minutes. Did we talk about Timmy Chimmy? We did do a pretty extended Timmy Chimmy, that's what. A lot of the times we just barrel into these and it's like, oh that's right. We don't leave anything for us. Don't leave anything on the bone. How last week Justin took a bold stance and said that Easter candy was the best candy? Uh-huh. Has the email been blowing up or people freaking out? Oh yeah, all over the place, just full agreement. We'll use your head right now. What is the log in for our email address? I guarantee none of us know it. I know, but I'm not gonna say it out loud. Okay, can you guys give a little space for me to make a bold statement? I guess so. I believe the time has come. It's been 30 years to try again at the Phantom. I can't do Travis the Billy saying you have pounced on us in a moment of weakness to monopolize this show to talk about Billy saying something. In the year 1989 Batman by Tim Burton came out. And all the studios said we need to get on this right now. The first of the gate Dick Tracy 1990. Right. 1991 the rocketeer. Yeah, so now that old shit. 1995 the shadow 1996 the Phantom. Yeah. Before and after its time. Yeah somehow. The Golden Age of radio really had a memory serves not great run at the cinemas. Correct. Most of those films you described did they did go way way down. It was a bunch of guys who remembered it from when they were kids greenlighting it thinking that today's kids are gonna love it, but it's all busted. This one gonna be our Batman. They said. And the answer was no. It was a sort of run of stories about wealthy men who punched other men. And that made them worthy of a worthy of like a cool superhero nickname. Yes. And America said I don't get it. What's Billy Zayn's power is even. Is he strong? No. He punches and this is something that people forget about an advantage that the Phantom has over Batman. He does not have any superpowers. He's just a long line of crime fighting folks. No superpowers. What he does had a Batman doesn't have two guns. Yeah. And they're not magic guns. No. They're two normal guns. They're not even the same guns. It's two just two guns. Two guns. Like it's a revolver in a pistol and he just said like, I guess I'm a superhero now. And he runs around in a mask and he's like. I don't see. And I don't see why this year of film and radio is behind us. Yeah. Because that's still a message. This is a beautiful message. He also had a ring. Okay. With a skull imprint on it. That's romantic too. There's a romance. When he punches someone with his skull ring, it leaves a skull imprint on their face. Yeah. So he doesn't, so he, see, he's out there shooting and fucking out there mushroom stamping fellas and who are criminals and then he's like, damn, I guess I'm the Phantom now. You know what? Stop calling me my normal name. Billy. And here's the best part of this 30 year later reboot. Part of the Phantom right is that he can commune with like his past Phantom relatives. So in the building, he's a one like his dad that goes to his dad shows up. You could have Billy Zane show up as the ghost of his dad play. And the Phantom in this one's going to be played by Lucifer's Tom Ellis. Okay. Wow. Wow. Yeah. We flexible. We got any wiggle room. We got any wiggle room there. Any wiggle room. Bill Haters going to play the villain. Zander Cage. I think it's his name. Are you? Zander Cage. That's from Triple X. So I'm certain you're not. You are correct. It's something like that. Zander Cage is one hundred percent. It's what might be Zander Drax. So Travis, are you in the scripting stage? Are you? Do you have an outline? What do you want? What do you need from us? Do you want our approval? Are you looking for money? Like what's the time to stop? I could do that too. I can provide that. I guess I'm just looking for support and money. I do need if you guys would invest. Let's say 50 million each. I think that would be enough to get us started. Well, do you have any wiggle room on the lead? Because it's nobody I or anyone else. Or the money. Do you have either a little wiggle room on the lead or like a lot of wiggle room on the lead? I don't want to get too far ahead of you, Travis. What if the character? Do you have any wiggle room on just a different shoulder? And I guess we're just going to do like a big broad scope. Big broad scope here. Do you have any wiggle room on the idea? You're thinking you just go ahead and lock the trilogy down? No, I'm saying like that. You're thinking of a shadow phantom crossover. Yes. Yeah, we could do that. I'm the shadow. You want to play the shadow? I'm the shadow and I have four rings and I have nine guns. I can tell when people are lying and when I punch them it leaves a little skull. I don't want to do the powers. I want classic phantom no abilities, a man with guns and a mask. And a dad that told him you had to fight crime. Bag of gyms, a wolf, a horse. He had a nickname. The phantom. The phantom. The phantom wants his nickname. No. That goes to walks. Sure. Oh, that's cool. So on his birth certificate, it says the phantom. Yeah. The phantom doesn't have an alternate name. Like it's just his dad said we all fight crime. And you have to. My dad did and his dad did. And we all have done it for 500 years. I don't know how we keep having kids finding the time for that. But we are doing that. You are going to need to do that, though, son. Yeah. It's really important that you get up there. Have an offspring. You have a kid to fail after you. It's a big part of it. It's like guaranteed you're going to be bad at being a father. Like guaranteed. As soon as you pop, as soon as you create life, you then now grab that ring. Grab those two guns. Your phantom now can't be there for baseball. And a cool thing would be if you would be able to survive until your son reaches adulthood. But there's no guarantee on that one. Hasn't happened so far. You never met your grandpa. Or me. Or me. Or me. This is a diary entry. The reason you're so scared of me. A ghost right now is because you don't have any awareness of who I am. I'm your father. I helped make you we barely have enough time to have a kid. We've had him for like 18 months. Yeah. We usually get killed. That's usually the way it shakes out. Sure. We impregnate someone. We get to be the phantom for 18 to 24 months of solid crime fighting. Because you got to make sure. I don't think you can get out there and be the phantom unless you have a a bun in someone's oven. Right. Absolutely. It's in the contract. Yeah. Get out there and start dodging bullets unless there's someone ready or cooking. Yeah. Take it. But also guaranteed in the contract is that you do get at least 18 months of being alive after that. The bad guys know to take it a little bit easy. And then like after a year and a half, you know, maybe all of a sudden they stop pulling their punches. Or they crash a big biplane into your biplane. Hasn't we lose the most phantoms, Griffin? Is that is that transitional phase? Yeah. Yeah, but you do get your 18 good months of being a phantom. If you're a criminal who goes up against the phantom, I bet the inconsistency of when they offend you. because it's like for 18 months, the phantom was everywhere. And then like 17 years passed, no phantom, and then suddenly there's this phantom again. - No way. - If you're a bad guy, you can probably get a lot of leniency. Basically anytime you see the phantom, you can't congratulate him on their trial because they are under two years old, or perhaps not even born yet. Like, hey, I can grat. The fact that you are here now talking to me, punching me with your strong ring means only one thing you have either conceived life for our new father. And I'm proud of you, congrats. - Every phantom is fighting with the ferocity of a father to be because they barely had time. - They are. - There's something to fight for. - Do you think though, when phantom guys, I feel like phantom is like two degrees off from just like the worst manosphere nonsense? So like, he does have a bloodline, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - My death, dramatic material is proofing. - Yeah, he's the chapter of. - He's the chapter of. - Yeah, type of, type of, type of, (claps) - Dipper changes, I don't really do that stuff. - No, no, no, no. - No, no, no. - It's called punch maxing. So I punch you, but you take it with the ring. So it's like the more forces in it. - And I leave an imprint with the skull. And yeah, those are perfect cheekbones. - Yeah. I'll tell you, I do like the ring though. I'll tell you, I do like it from a toy addict standpoint, where we are, the nerd ring market is quite stale. - Oh God. - Our dad has bought us all the different green lantern ones there are. - That there is. - And phantom, in the reboot, it could be like, maybe there's 12 different skull rings. And they're made of different metals. - And they flash ring with the costume in it. - Got a few of those. - This is an advice show. And a lot of people like to forget that when it's convenient for them. - Yeah, but I'll never, I'll never forget. - I am a fifth grade teacher at an elementary school. Once a week, our custodians drive a floor cleaning zamboni through the hallways. At the start of the school year, one of our custodians offered to let me drive it. I got very nervous and drove only about three feet forward before stopping abruptly and awkwardly mumbling thanks as I hopped off. For the last six months, I've watched with longing every week in which I could have the chance to redeem myself. I feel proud to go farther and faster than before. Brothers, how do I get offered a turn to drive the hallways zamboni again without seeming desperate? That's from fast and florious in Florida. - I have to imagine this is a holdover from last year when we were telling everybody to hit that 20th under drive. - Yeah, but this is a really good opportunity, though, to make it stick because now you're gonna take a second shot that this is a zamboni driving, there's gotta be a different, there's gotta be a name for it. - There's gotta be a different name for it. - Gotta be a name for the Florida zamboni mopping machine, rideable mop, that sounds wrong. - What about a Zumba? Like a Rumba that you. - That's a Zumba. - That's already. - Yeah, that's how you take it. - Yeah, Zumba's already a thing against all odds, yeah. - Maybe like a cool cowboy hat and like a leather jacket and you're leaning up against the lockers and say something like, let me take another shot of that Bronco. Something that makes it like, yeah, you're a lot cooler now than you were before. - I wouldn't. - No, I wouldn't hand over the keys if that's the energy you. If that's the energy you, if I'm the custodian and that's the energy you came at me with, if I get this sense that you want it too bad, I'm not gonna hand over the keys to my, 'cause I'm responsible for anything that happens. You might drive it into a classroom and eat up all the desks with it. - I get in trouble for that, 'cause it's my name on the side of the thing. - Maybe bring in your own and try to drag race? - Oh, that's interesting. - We couldn't even tell you what the name of the thing was. So how are you gonna Google it and buy one of your own? It's not a Zumba, how do you find it? - Flee market? - Cleaner, cart. - Flee market. - Cart. - Cart, cleaner cart? That's not right. Griffin, if you Google, I'm gonna be so mad at you. - I'm not gonna Google it. I'm too busy coming up with jokes. I can't do to those two things at the same time. - It's like a lawn mower, it's like a riding lawn mower. - Yeah, a riding frown cleaner? - Riding floor. - Dirt mower. - Riding floor. Riding flunk. Riding floors. - Floors. - Floors. - Riding in floors with boys. - Yeah, I think it's probably what it's called. - I know what it's called. - I bet you're not the first person who has had this experience at this school. And I bet you if you walk up to this custodian, hat in hand, like you're not even gonna be able to get two words out before the custodian will be like, I know. You've got the itch now. You've got something to prove. Go for it. - Go for it. - It's humiliating, Griffin. If this person had, I'm sure this person thought of just get over it and ask to do it again. I hope that crossed their mind. - I'm saying they will be delighted to shepherd and other young people who is a teacher, but like in the ways of riding the floor rider, I bet they'll be stoked. They'll be like a little wink, like a little twinkle in his eye. Like, yeah, I remember that fear. I felt it too, but now let's become bigger than it together. - I think that you have to take into consideration the gift that you're giving, because I think I'm not breaking any new ground here when I say that often custodians are overlooked under-appreciated. - Sure. - The idea that you got on to this floor scrubber, this riding on floors with boys, was that it? - Yep. - Then couldn't handle the power. Must have been such a warm feeling of like yeah, not everybody can handle this ride like I do. And then you're coming back and saying like, I want another shot, please. Right? It's gotta feel good if you're the custodian. - It's gotta feel good if you're the custodian. You're giving a great gift. - I just feel like you've proven that you're alive. But yeah, you've proven that you can't handle the power. I mean, we got kids in this hallway and you made it 10 seconds in before you flipped. Like, you think right now that you can handle it, but I bet before you tried the first time, there was no part of you that thought, what if I flake out after 10 seconds? - That's true. - You didn't, I just don't know. - I think maybe you owe it to yourself and to this person to try to get to know them as a person first. I think if the first conversation you've had with them is again, they're gonna see you as just-- - Since the incline to it. - They're using you for your machine. I think that you gotta start building your confidence back up by just a daily exchange. Like, hey, I don't remember my humiliation. I promise I'm not normally like that. I can do better. But I'm not asking for another opportunity. It's just just to get to know them as a person. - And maybe start living your life like someone who is ready for a Zamboni ride again until the custodian, like you just have to tap on your shoulder and you're like, oh yeah? And they're just like, you're ready. - They saw when you were ready before. - Yeah, they're gonna know the time is right again. - But now you've been cruising the halls in Power Wheels and you've been scooting around it. Maybe during the class field trip, you bring the custodian and you guys go to play bumper cars, like little things. Little things to say, like, I can operate a small non-standard vehicle and be trusted. - You made one out of a cardboard box and scooted around the floor and school after hours. - Start with a little box you scoot around with. And right trash Zamboni on it. So that he knows kind of the illusion that training. - And you've set up cones and you're weaving between them and you bump them and you get really upset but you go back and you try again. - It's the persistence he's looking for. - Yeah, here is that possibility. What are the next time you see them with the floor mop writing apprentice appliance and the next time you see them rolling around? - Just call it a Zumba, like, and sometimes it's good. - Zumba times up when it's good. - There's so much of time. - The next time you see them on the Zumba, dump a popcorn bucket on the ground. And then it's just like, well, this is humiliating. Please allow me. 'Cause you know I know what I'm doing here. Now, the bet that I'm making here is that they don't remember how bad you did last time. What I'm hoping is they only remember that you have driven it before, right? - Okay. - So when you're like, please allow me. This is my mess. I couldn't ask you to clean this up and then they'll like maybe let you take a shot at it before they remember how bad it went the last time. - Can I season it? Can I season it a little before? - The popcorn? - It's very good. - No, it's on the ground. - The idea is very, very good. But if you just drop all the popcorn on the ground right there, the custodian's gonna say, just pick it up with your hands and throw it in the garbage can. However, if you, please let me season it. If you walk by the custodian. And then as you walk by him, you look down at your bucket and you say, oh man, it has a goddamn hole in it. I've left a trail of popcorn down the hallway around the corner back into the cafeteria. - By Jeffrey, forming a sort of, I guess you could call it a course. It does go all the way around the school. - When the janitor said, "clean it up with your hands." - Yeah. - What am I, am I a student? Am I a employee? What is his relationship to me that he looks at me and says, "clean it up with your hands." - Okay. - Tell me, Michael. - In your scenario, you were like making eye contact with the custodian dumping your popcorn on the floor. - Oh, you got absolutely, the cloaking was implied. Of course you cloaked it. Like you don't like make a big scene, man. - Okay, but you just, I think you do it in a stylish fashion. - He'd say the custodian says yes, hop on, clean up your mess, you clean up your mess. If you just dropped it on the floor, you have recreated the initials and bony scenario where they only wrote it for a few feet before they got scared. If you create an entire beautiful course. - So what if you tripped and like up in the butt, like threw the bucket forward? - Is that maybe something? - That's gonna be hard to do without being clocked for embellishment. - I feel like, you understand what I was saying. - But if you turn down, you have a hole in your butt, you're being intentionally obtuse right now. I feel like you understand the premise and you're just trying to shoot, like it could be anything. I was about to say you're trying to blow holes in it, but you're literally trying to poke holes in the bucket. - Yeah, the hole in the popcorn bucket too, you can show them and be like, do you think this was like a penis joke thing? Like if this is, or an avatage, and this bucket, lift it back into the general sort of stack of popcorn buckets. - I don't know how these things start. Keep recirculating, guys. What a way to save a buck. - That's crazy. - My neighbor regularly comes out on his balcony and sings. He has a beautiful voice and I enjoy hearing it. Whenever I come outside to hear better, he stops. How do I tell my neighbor that I wanna hear that thing? For reference, he sings R and B slash soul and we are 25 feet apart. - Oh boy, that's tough, isn't it? - That feels like you're gonna-- - It's not for you. - It's not for you. - Then why on the balcony? - 'Cause it's for them. - Oh no. - It's an avita thing. It's for that, hello. Do you ever dress? You gotta dress, hello. - Yeah, we've all got a dress. - Just like that. - Hello. Anytime you're elevated above other people in a fashion they did not expect is incumbent on you to stand above them and say, hello. - Greetings to all the little chicks. - Yeah, you don't, it's rude. - Yeah, it's rude otherwise. - What do you, I saw you up there. You just glance down at me. Well, you think I'm some sort of worm or something? - Just pretend to be a little king for a second. - Pretend to be a little king for just a minute. It's good. - Can you yell on core? - You can't yell anything. You can't, you can't, you have to hide. You can listen, crack a window, do something. But like, why do you need to be, why do you need to see it? Why do you need to be closer to it? What is it making it better about it to be closer to that? Are you thinking like it's good for him that you've come out and now you're like, now you have an audience, that's good. 'Cause I don't think that's good. - You know that for money, you know that, right? This is a job. He can't give it away to you for free. - Right. - You understand. You have to pay for the show. The show stops 'cause you came outside. - You know it's, how do you know singing is his job and he makes money for that? - What Justin's saying is when you hear your neighbor singing, go to their front door, slide like a $10 bill underneath, then you can go out on the balcony and listen all you want to 'cause you paid for the show. - He's saying, okay, I might be, we need to dig in a little bit now 'cause I've probably made an assumption here. For reference, he sings R&B slash soul. To me, if you have chosen a genre, then that to me communicates the year professional. I, as an amateur singer, will attempt all styles. In my house, there are no limits. You know, I can sing whatever songs strike my fancy. I don't pick a genre and stick to it. Now, maybe this question just has a more specific music taste, but to me, they're a professional vocal stylist. That's the impression that I get. - I don't think that's an outrageous leap. - I think that that is sound logic juice. - It's a shame that we used fan of the opera for the Trombone question recently because this would be a note. If you, where do you slink out onto your balcony, like it was a boxy in the opera, a full phantom regalia, and you were to shout something like, sing for me, my angel of music. - He would have no choice. - I think it's hard to have, it's like, we'd all would love a phantom, wouldn't we? - We'd all love a phantom to come sweep with phantoms. - Oh, phantom, oh, phantom. - The phantom, the phantom, any phantom. Just everyone's a phantom to root for 'em and say, you're talent. - I wanna kill you because I love it so much. - You know what I mean? - Everyone's that. - Everyone, I dream that eventually I'll do a podcast about dragon so good that someone will come and say, I'm gonna, I'm gonna halt any pressure. - Is that what it wants to do? Okay, so hold on. I don't think the phantom of the opera wanted to kill- - I've seen family opera, the musical and the immersive version Masquerade. So be careful. - So you're saying in family opera, the phantom gets the opera singer down into the sewers and he's like, well, I mean, he has a name to drown you now. - Chrissy, yes, it's time for drowning. - No, she just like, I'm sort of simplifying the plot for you. - Well, but it's more complex. - He definitely wants to kill Raoul. - That's for sure. - Yeah. - He's willing, I don't think he's being extremely cautious regarding Christy and safety. - Right, that's fair. 'Cause he doesn't have a croaker, a Tesco down there in the sewer. So he's not even thinking he's like, you're gonna come stay with me, Angel of Music, and I guess God will provide our groceries. - Yeah. - He does have to send the Angel of Dependence Alice. - She gets appendicitis act two, and he's like, fuck, man. - Now, it needs an Angel of Medicine and I think I'll capture one of those. - Or boring that in Angel. - Hey, Chrissy, could you become an Angel of DoorDash 'cause Cash is running a little light down here. And I would love what it was to take up a job. And if you want to make this work, and I know you don't, but if you do want to make this work, you've got to start bringing in an income 'cause I can't, the music's not taking off yet. You know that, you know that, you gotta get a job. - And which from the Jimmy John's is here? (laughing) - On your front porch. (laughing) - Do you guys think that felt really good coming out of me? Do you think they would hire me for like a whole run? - Yeah. - Just like, like. - Only if you introduce yourself that way. Hi, I'm going to macaroni and fan of stuff comes from feels really good coming out of me. - Really good coming out of me. (laughing) - I would feel good to ingest and also to expel from myself. - Uh-huh. You're good. - Philly's ain't stuff, musical stuff, whatever you need, I'll get the phantom out. - Listen, if we're gonna pay for this reboot of Phantom of the Paradise that I want to bankroll, we gotta take a trip to the money set. - How many phantoms are we doing? - I just wanted to get that one in there 'cause that's the only other one I know. - Okay. (upbeat music) - It's better, it's better with you. - Listen y'all, listen. I love all of our sponsors, obviously, because they pay me and I love that. I am a huge fan of fast-growing trees our sponsor this week. I have a fast-growing tree in my front yard that is a flowering beauty. I love it very much. I also have a fast-growing tree from fast-growing trees. It's a lemon tree that grows in my office. And I've seen that lemon, dude. Holy shit, that lemon's looking good. I got two apple trees that are doing beautifully. I'm happy to see those guys come back, both from fast-growing trees. This fast-growing lemon tree has been working on this lemon in my office during the winter with such a little engine that could attitude that I was short for a while. I thought that that lemon was purely decorative. And then it got a little sunny out. Boom, yellow as the sun. - That's how it works, sucks it up. - I love it. - Sucks up that sunlight. - Did you know that fast-growing trees is America's largest and most trusted online nursery with thousands of trees and plants and over two million happy customers. They have all the plants that your art-of-home needs, including fruit trees, privacy trees, flowering trees, shrubs, houseplants, family trees, a tree for money. - Sorry, what? - It's like privacy tree, a tree for money. It's sort of like a private dancer for money. It's like a, yeah. - They have giving trees. Listen, I'm a huge fan. I'm gonna get more from them because I like how fast these trees grow. It's not just the name, it's true. And now it's the name, it's trees. - Yeah, yeah. - Wow, Justin, you blew my mind. - Thanks man. - Well now you can blow your wallet at fast-growing trees. - I don't think that's a plant. - Now you can blow your wallet, blow your wallet on plants. - Now you can blow your wallet. - That's a great, blow your wallet on plants. Now's the perfect time to plant. They have great deals on spring planning essentials up to half off on slick plants and listeners to our show get 20% off their first purchase when using code My Brother at checkout. That's fast-growingtrees.com, code My Brother. Offer his valid for a limited time terms and conditions. May apply. (humming) (humming) (humming) - I want to munch. - Squat. (humming) - I want to munch. - Squat. - Wow. Welcome to Munch Squad, it's a podcast within the podcast. - Profiling the latest and greatest in brand eating in my name is Count Donut. - You've had a pent up, haven't you, Count? You've been ready to roll, don't you? - I mean, did it so bad. - Yeah, fine. Tell me, man. - It's so much more wild. - Wild things happening in the world of Donuts, I've been waiting. - The cable is gross, then. - Thank you so much, well, I've recently upgraded my friend Nate, he made me this, it's a cape vault. Stores, stores my cape from catfish. No captain getting here. This is Count Donut's special bin. Thank you again, Nate, for this great bin. So no cat's getting peace on this. - When they do a charity estate auction of all of our sort of goods and memorabilia, I think Count Donut Cable is gonna bring in a healthy sum. - I will give you guys a secret about this doll and you must promise not to tell. - Okay. - It's a half cape, it's a half cape. - It's just a nicky. - It's just a nicky, a nicky, nicky, nicky cape, yeah, man. - They can't even know the even more topi, so this guy is the little little, yeah. - That's great, fine, the peace. - You sure it's not a regular size cape for like a very little child Dracula. - No, there aren't much more than Dracula's, we have standards. - Okay, cool man. - Don't say it and don't say what the number, you think it is, don't say it. - You won't like it. Let me say this. - Okay, dude, what's new in the world of donuts? - I know. - What? - I know. - Okay. - I know? I wanted to make sure that, no, it's not just the accent. Duncan doesn't, it's idol. - Just I, letter I. - Duncan pops the question with idol ring boxes. Wedding cake munchkins and the Vera Wang bridal surprise for national proposal day. - I say if Vera Wang shows up with any kind of donut related material, that will be a surprise indeed. - Duncan is marking the unofficial start of wedding season, a little sweeter. Just in time for national proposal day, oops we missed it, who cares? The brand is celebrating its new wedding cake munchkins donut treats. - And just for the one day only, giving away a limited edition, idol ring box epipartis, participating Duncan locations worldwide. - National proposal day. - You see it now? - Now you do, you see it? - Yeah, I see it now. - National proposal day feels like an invention designed to make a large group of people sad. - And that group is made up of many different people, you know what I mean? Like you would be able to nail it down just by guessing. - I got proposed to on proposal day, I would feel like such an asshole. - Absolutely. - You're just doing it for the holiday. But there are also people who would be sad they didn't get proposed to. - Sure, absolutely. - A proposal day, absolutely. - It's a bad day, we can all agree. As Duncan love is always brewing. - Well, it's not coffee, so I assume something was brewing in there. Inspired, that's the right, I said it. Inspired by the season of proposals, bridal showers, bachelet, trips and weddings. The Duncan ring box comes with wedding cake munchkin inside. - Okay. - Or free? - Is there a ring inside that? - It's a glazed blueberry cake done at home with wedding cake flavored sprinkles. - Vogue, giving guests a fun new way to pop the question or celebrate. Life's sweetest moments are rescued themselves from some sort of insulin event that they're having that they need to reverse. - I'll tell you right now, if we could bottle the energy that would happen the moment you would kneel down in front of your partner, holding you this pink box. And open it up and there's a doughnut hole inside. - The toxicity, the toxicity of that single, that second, that moment. - You have to hold up the box where it says Duncan on it. You have to make sure they read. Like, look, read the letter, you see this right before I open it. You're looking at it the same as me, right, okay? Duncan and Vera Wang is inviting fans to say, "I though, to help inspire unforgettable I though proposals, Duncan and iconic broide, the desire Vera Wang." - And he thought some Vera Wang's sort of, I mean, you're a stylish guy. - Yes, well, I know that she is currently serving as Duncan's chief proposal officer. - Okay, so you don't like keep up necessarily with kind of bridal fashion. - I also notice Duncan there didn't specify marriage proposal. Is Vera Wang making business proposals on Duncan's behalf? - Yeah, she's their business guy now. - It's crazy. - I mean, probably pretty good at it. - Yeah. - I would assume. - Do you, I want you all to see this. This is wild. Griffin, please read, so they know I'm not joking. - From March 20th to April 3, fans who incorporate the Duncan Ido ring box into their proposal moment can enter the contest by posting their proposal video on tick to tick Instagram or tick tock. - It was open to them. - Or InstaTalk, tagging at Duncan and at Vera Wang gang and using the hashtag hashtag Duncan Vera Wang contest. That's a lot of business to put on your proposal, man. That's a lot of business. - Oh, that's a lot. It's a lot. The win of an incredible trip to Vera Wang's flagship salon in New York or Beverly Hills in Griffin. What is this last little perk? - As a special finishing touch, Vera Wang will embroider the winners go to Duncan order inside the gown, ensuring they have something brewed for their day. - My go to Duncan order is a door-dash order to a better place. - It's a begrudging airport, like 6 a.m., only thing open. - I need to eat something to sustain my human body. - My go to Duncan order is I order you to throw me out of here, so I am not forced to purchase. - So to continue this celebration, there's a something brew the merch collection. It's a merch collection with exclusive Vera Wang X Duncan pieces. You know what, let's take a trip. - This is good because not only is the proposal covered, but outfitting your bridal party is also sorted. - Yeah. - Oh boy, is that ever sex? (laughing) - It's a Duncan robe. - I do want this. - Glass tumbler. Oh, here's the collection. Oh, they've got monogrammed. - Oh boy. - There's two of their clear beige beverages, cheersing from their satins league. - I've got to navigate the way from this page before I do some very unfunny ordering. (laughing) - On here, it will take me into some-- - Yeah, we've talked about this before. It's unethical for you to spend Justin's money count doughnut. You are on his money. - It's really good though guys. Look at the, something old, something new, something borrow, something brood. - I feel like this is shit like this. It turns up at your manners on O street. Like just the weirdest imaginable merch. - Yes, this is a Femura. - This Femura is going to end up on eBay and it is going to accrue one more dollar in value over the next 50 years. - Getting early. So that's very exciting for them, I hope. I hope they're pleased with what they've done. - Have you ever been married count doughnut? - Oh yeah, good call. - Sorry, what? - Have you ever been married? - Yes. - If you ask me any other questions about it, you will have to go back and delete everything. Just leave it at yes and say thank you so much. - Thank you so much count doughnut. - Thank you. - I feel like when they do these contests and the way you enter the contest is just by tweeting like, sure do you love my Arby's? They still only get like 15 people that go in for it. - Did anybody participate in the last, the one that we were trying to get people to do last week? Did anybody-- - Did anybody cross the connoisseur? Cross connoisseur? - Yeah, I meant to, but then I didn't. - You want it? I'll try and congrats. - That's a fun arc. - I got fired. - Oh. - Yeah. This is also, I don't know why they're being extremely busy. Still in a munch squad, even in a Duncan related thing, I just gotta like, they're becoming more of like a merch store than they are a doughnut place. And they're not even really a doughnut place by my reasoning. Like, it's a banana themed package they're doing and they'll sell you a Duncan banana hammock. They'll sell you a Duncan banana costume. - And an actual hammock? - Like a banana hammock and a banana hammock. - A copy of banana grams. - Yeah. - They're a lifestyle brand. - This is what it is. - Yeah. - It's one of a lifestyle brand. Yeah. - They're in the fulfillment business. - They are. - Of everything. - But you gotta act fast with these things because this, see this collection? - Yeah. - It's already, it's like, this is gone. It's over. They're already in Vera Wang now. You can't even get this banana shit. It's already headed to the length. - How about another question? - Yeah, I love this one. I work at my local radio station as the, quote, news guy. There's currently a box of 24 ice cream drumsticks in my staff room freezer. I do not know to whom they belong and I really want one. Brothers, what can I say on the mic to get whoever owns these things to give me an ice cream treat? That's for missing my mint chip in Manitoba. - Is it still sealed? Do you think we can assume it's still, if there's a bot, if you say there's a box of 24, yeah. - Oh, this is such an important distinction Travis. Like it's an incredibly important distinction. - I have to imagine it's an individually wrapped scenario. I've never gotten a belt. - Sure, sure, sure. - But it's the box opened yet. This is what, it's 24 drumsticks. I feel like if it was opened, why do you list the number? 'Cause that information is no longer relevant. - Right. If it's opened and there's 24 in there, there'd probably be 23, right? If someone opened it and took one, broke the seal. 23, 18 is basically the same number. - You could eat four or five. - So you could eat four to five of them and probably get by it's got free. It was only a handful left. - That's really, that's really is very applicable to drumsticks. If you have a big box of drumsticks. - Yeah. - And someone comes and eats, there's 24 in there. Someone comes and eats five drumsticks. Like you sit there and house, five of them. And someone's like, hey, do I need the order of drumsticks? From the next room. You're gonna look in that box and be like, absolutely not. We gotta bust the order of your drumsticks. - We basically have infinite drumsticks still, man. You can eat three or four more drumsticks before you're even thinking about replenishment. - As long as it's above half, you are golden. - Oh, especially if they're consistent flavors and it's not like a mix of like, there's a bit of some chocolate. Because if I get down to it, I'm like, where are all of the chocolate ones, right? Like that's off-putting. Now I will say of all the disciplines of radio station sort of employees and hosts. News is not the pillar I would want you to be in to say something on the microphone to get an ice cream treat later. There is a certain seriousness to that job and there's obviously very serious things happening all the time. And it would be tough to transition from literally any news story about anything that's happening in the world to, and in other news, Brian wants a creamy treat. - I mean, if it was easy, they'd take it to a different show. You know? - Yeah. - Yeah. No, I guess I'm saying like, can you change jobs? Can you be in sports commentators can say whatever the fuck they want, whenever the fuck they want? Because they don't have to say that much stuff. It's like, oh, you've got her back in the blue line and it went in. But like, the rest of the time, they can be like, did you see that new Jurassic World movie? - I have, I've got some plot holes, I found, like, they can just say, - You can just start rambling about it in air like two balls, one strike. You know, there's still that same box of drumsticks in the freezer and I would love to touch, one balls, three strikes. - Those are your drumsticks, Bill? Like, Bill? - Are those your, and he's out and he's hit by the pitch and he's bleeding, he's bleeding everywhere. - And if you don't call in in the next 20 minutes, I'm gonna eat one of those drums here. - They send an ambulance out. - I think he's dying. - He's finit by bitch. - That's like, I'm dying for one of those delicious drumsticks. - This is the worst thing I've ever seen in 25 years of professional baseball broadcasts. - The baseball hit him and his whole head came off. - There was a job at the bottom holding his brain in, that's for sure. - There's only one thing I could think of that would help me to erase his terrible memory from my head. - Yes, the kids, it's kids day two here at the ballpark. - Oh my god, these kids are awesome. - Bill, are those your Dippy bars or not? - Bill, if only someone would bring me a delicious ice cream treat. I think it would be quite a bomb for this troubled soul, just watch the man bleed out at home plate. - Oh, he's walking it off, fuck. - He's walking it off. - Now, I'm never gonna get a nice cream treat. - Yeah, I'm never gonna get a cream treat. - I'm never gonna get a cream treat. - Oh, no, he's doing the thing. - He's walking off, everyone's applauding. Big fucking deal. Sorry for saying that on air. They're asking me to leave. - Yeah, I'm getting fine. - I'm just gonna take the box with me, actually. Fuck you guys. - I don't need this job. I'm a news man, okay? I don't even know why I got into sports. Just to get some ice cream treats. Fuck the macaroid brothers. What are they thinking? - This banana ball shit has gone too far. His whole head came off. I thought he was dead. God damn this trickery. Your jokes, it's so funny. - You could use the news to issue a product recall. - Yes. - Yes. - Yeah, it wouldn't be any negative ramifications. - No, it's fine. Listen, if you got this specific kind of drumstick, this is, hey folks, check your cupboards. We just got this across the AP wire. If you have this specific mitchip, you should call your office and say, throw it out. Just ask whoever's nearby. You know what, I'm gonna go check. That's how serious I'm taking this. - This recall only applies to my current zip code. And also, it says here, if you're a radio man, you're immune to the diseases in the ice cream. So if you're a radio man, a radio news man, it says you can eat the dip you've got. - You don't have to eat 'em on premises, Griffin. You get, first of all, this radio station, there's probably one person there. It's probably just the one person working. So just take 'em out to your car. Lease 'em in the cooler that you brought with you. - The perfect crime. - Perfect crime. - Maybe introduce the story like tragedy struck today when newsman Bill got real hungry for the ice cream treat. But he was denied by morals, by common decency. Please call in and tell me I can have them, Steve. - Please? - Steve. - What'll be sick is when Brian comes to you. It's like, Steve, I would like you to work on a story. I have recently had some jump sticks go missing for the fridge and I would like you to work on a story about that. And you can say, 'cause you're the news guy, you can say, you know what, that's gonna be my top priority. And I'm gonna start investigating it right now and I will not rest until we bust this thing wide open. - Yeah. - First thing I'm gonna do is try to-- - Oh, weird, I can't come up with any leads, weird. (laughing) - First thing I'm gonna do is I need to get in the head of someone who would commit a terrible crime like this. - I need four or five more, I mean, four or five, new drumsticks that I haven't been in before. - If you could bring in another box. - If you could bring in another box for me to look at, that would be so helpful. If you could bring in another box and leave it in the freezer. - If you're the only one there, just trash the place on the way out. Grab the whole fucking box and say, "Yeah, home, have a big party, eat them up." Next morning, you get a call like, "Hey, the radio station's trashed." And you say, "Yeah, it got air heads." - No. - Last time you got a thing in an outro. - Yeah, Adam Sandler showed up and Brent Frazier was there and I think Steve Bouchimmi was there. - Yeah, I am. - He was. - Weirdly, yeah. - He was not very sure. - Actual guns. And they took all the, they took all the Dippy bars and they almost killed me. - Was it, Harry Sh-- - No. - It was? - No. - Harry Shure was the pig in Wayne's World II, the radio god, that may be what I was thinking. Anyway, Michael McKean. - Let me see your thing, yeah. - Thank you. - You're welcome, you're free. Everyone's free, thank you. Who else wants to hear a list there's at home and here's a text, here's a number that you can text or call, let us know what other obscure movies from the mid 1990s you would like us to talk about next. Spin the wheel. - I need some advice on how to get someone to let me ride in their motorcycle sidecar. It's one of my bucket list items that I want to ride in the sidecar of a motorcycle, I assume. Not on the motorcycle itself, but in the sidecar. - This isn't abundantly clear. - Yeah, they don't have a motorcycle their own. They don't know anyone who rides one. They need to ingratiate themselves to a group of trustworthy bikers and convince me to take them on a joy ride in the sidecar. I'd be willing to bring my own leather goggles and flittery white scarf. Thanks for your help. Ready for the road in Northern Illinois. Let me help. First, you got to stop saying stuff like the white scarf and the goggles, you know that's not right. - You know that's not it. That's a joke. - If you say stuff like that or show up in it, they're going to beat you up. - Yeah. When you drive a car, do you like to have a piece of tattered cloth whipping you in the face over and over? Because whatever you like in a car, they like it on a motorcycle too. And they want to be safe out there and they want to be smart out there. If you were going to provide anything yourself, I assume it would be the sidecar. - Yes. - Because if they have a sidecar already, it's for their whimsical dog companion who's already wearing fun goggles in his car. - Yeah. - You don't have an empty, you don't have a sidecar with no one and nothing to put in it. - Well, I'll say this. If I had a bike, I would probably be stoked every time I had the sidecar on there because it's like, now I don't have to balance this good. It's like now to try it, like they won't say that. - Oh yeah, 'cause she got more wheels. They can say like, yeah, now it's a tricycle. - So that's, I prefer that. - It shouldn't be easy to take on and off the sidecar, right? I want it pretty firmly. A five-bedding seat got to get it professionally done. I would imagine the outtraf. - Because I don't want it to come losing. I have no steering capability. If I'm in the sidecar and we separate in a whimsical fashion, I've lost all control of the situation. - You lost why you're driving. - You split a pole, split a street sign, you go zooming off. Now you're in car, bad news. It's missing a lot of the key function on the body that real cars. I do want to take issue with one part of this question where you said I want to ingratiate myself to a group of trustworthy bikers. You're pretty picky for somebody that doesn't know any bikers or anybody with a sidecar. I think that trustworthy bikers aren't just going to randomly throw strangers into their bikes and zip around town. I think you should be pretty happy with whatever bikers you could kind of secure. You might even have a better chance at getting someone you know that makes poor decisions to get into motorcycle riding and buy their own sidecar. I tell you, this is gonna sound like self-promotion. It's not. Man, I suggest going away because they're not going to check for that shit. If you tuck in the side, they are not checking the sidecar for tuckers. Definitely not before they hit the road. There's probably so stoked to get out there. They do not want to fall behind all their friends. They are not looking close in there. You've got to check for tuckers. If you've got a sidecar, check for tuckers. That should be the first and last thing you do. Because you could get a tucker jump in there after you check the first time. Yeah, that's how that's one of the best strats for sure. You don't get to sit up and enjoy it. Is the scarf part of it for you? You'll have to pay someone like a professional if the scarf engoggles is part of it for you and don't get me wrong. It would be part of it for me. I understand the instinct. It's just going to get your ass beat up. Once they start going, you can untuck, right? Because by the time they slow down to get you out of there, you've had your right of the sidecar. Yeah. I don't know how they all stay together. Oh, this is the answer to the Zumba question. A sidecar on the Zamboni. Yeah. Shit, that's good. Travel. I got out of that. I'm honest with you. That'd be so good. Kids would love that too. What a great reward. We only have detention for kids. We got to figure out ways to reward them. Yeah. Well, book it. Do they still do book it? Only Pizza Hut does book it. It's bullshit. Yeah. The school's outlawed it. Only books about pizza now. Oh, that sucks, man. There's so many. There's so few good pizza-based books. That's unfortunate. Yeah, about I mean, if you look, the kids doesn't have to be reading is essential. I mean, it doesn't have to be a stomach block only if you let it. There's just no pizza and grapes of wrath. There could be a pizza and grapes. Okay. So we're talking about editing grape tomatoes of wrath. Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. My brother, my brother and me, it's called Crave. Crave new, Crave New World. If we'd have how long we'd be doing it, we would have come up with a better name. I assure you. Trust me. Yeah. I promise. We did not have any intention of doing this for, for 16 odd years or else we would definitely would have, we would have warned a little part of that part. The dough also rises. The crust also rises? I said the dough. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't hear it. But for once it's crust, it's not rising anymore. Yeah, that's a good point. The dough also rises better. Yeah. Hey, thank you to, to, to, to maintain for these for a theme song. My life is better with you. It's a, it's a great track that I always put on when I need just a boost. Oh, yeah. We got some new merch in the merch store too. Can I interest you in a 20 make it stick enamel pen show your, your intensity this season with an enamel pen based on our classic annual joke of make it stick and 10% of all the merch proceeds this month will be donated to border angels. We got a newsletter to over a bit that L Y slash McRoy newsletter. You can find out about, you know, any events we have coming up follow our big projects and what have you and that would be cool or follow us on YouTube on the McRoy family. I can't wait until we get our eye hard awards. I can throw it at the end of the episode. Yeah, that'll be a good one. I'll tell you, I'm running low on stuff. I can chuck that's not going to be. I got a court year by Marriott key card. I found my wallet. Oh, shit. Yeah, I mean, I don't know how much baseball action you could give to that. But you gambit. Yeah. Yeah. Can you gambit it and stick it into the installation at the back? Who better than me to gambit? I want you to knock some. Take the headphones off because I want you to like really. I want to clean. I want to clean and throw it into frame. Don't throw it out of frame. Yeah, throw it out the camera. I can't throw the background. Throw it in the background. Throw it into the background. The background. The background. Turn. Turn. Turn your body. Turn your body. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hit, hit, hit, fish. Pretty good. That was cool. It made it cool. Yeah. I'm Travis McRoy. I'm Griffin McRoy. This has been my brother, my brother, me kiss your dad square on the lips. ♪ It's better than you. Maximum fun. A work-road network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.