MBMBaM 804: Aaron Space, Boy Astronaut

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? It's the side of something beautiful, a small quaintance has blossomed, it's rapping into a precious friendship. I could have never seen what was coming for me, hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach, my life, it feels like. It's better, it's better with you, it's better with you, it's better, it's better with you, this is true. It's better, it's better with you, it's better with you, it's better with you. Hello everybody, and welcome to my brother, my brother, me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What's up, Trave Nation? It's me, your little brother, Travis Big Dog, Wolf, Wolf, Wolf, Wolf, Wolf, Wolf, Vichita McElroy. It's me, your sweet baby, brother, Griffin, 30 into 30. Media, luminary, built forward, tough. Rand Johnson, McElroy, I need something pitching, like some sort of like throwing your baseball or stuff. If you don't mind me saying Trave, you look so well-rested. That's true. All this is. All this is better, do you have a little bit of the glow? No, I've got the glow, Justin, because I-- I mean, don't want to brag. Got myself a CPAP. More like an A+PAP if you ask me. That's right. I imagine C stands for something pretty important. Like cool. Yeah, it's cool. Let this be your body. Let me see if CPAP means cool PAP, right? Correct. Yeah, cool. What did your body do the first time you strapped a mask to your face? And you were like, "And now we sleep." What's your body like? Oh, interesting. I don't believe you have a head belt on, and that's new for me. As sleep. The first thing my face did is what I imagine someone in the Alien film for Inchise feels when a face hugger latches on, where all you want to do is claw at your head. And free yourself from it. And then the second thing my body did, because I was instructed by the person who gave me the mask and whatnot, it has like a negative pressure thing. You know, it's blowing, basically it's blowing air into my nose. And then kind of also, when I breathe out, pulling out. Oh, man. That's fucking dope. You can just like, chill. You can just cycle, yeah, man. Not even breathe. That's so sick. And then they were like-- For the Earth, good for you. For the Earth. Yeah, man. And then they were like, but you're going to want to keep your mouth closed. Because if you open your mouth while it's on, air will pour out of your mouth. Well, that was air. Yeah. It's like a dragon. It feels like, if I open my mouth while I have my CPF on, uncontrollably. Like all the air just shoots out of my mouth. So as soon as I put, it's like the machine from Princess Bride. It's just pumping the air through you. As soon as I put it on, my ADHD brain was like, open your mouth. Open your mouth. Open your mouth. Open your mouth. You got to know the sound it makes, Travis. Raise the vacuum. Raise the vacuum. Look at the sun. I, your ADHD, won't let you sleep until you open your mouth. So I can hear what sound it makes. And so when I opened my mouth, it was like a, imagine a film where there's like an evil demon or something pulling the life essence out of a human being. Yeah. It was that. It felt like that. Like everything was being pulled out of me. But then it was good, right? Like eventually it was like super good. Well, the other thing that's fun about having ADHD and a CPF is the CPF is monoledders. I said, you're a lot of letters deep at that point. A lot of letters, Travis, maybe you should just take a sleeping pill. You know what I mean? It's a lot of letters. This is the thing. This is fun. It's not exactly the sleep out of them. That's the problem. My random limb movements are off the charts, baby. Anything above 15 an hour is abnormal. I was average in 49 an hour. So I'm just, everybody noodles. Pump food fight. Yeah, man. I'm over here flailing around. And so the CPF is really, wait, wait, wait, real quick, real quick. Real quick. Let's try to let you just get it. I got. I bought jokes. A massage. I bought jokes of five minute massage. So I let him actually go get that. That's good. Cool. I was really struggling with those random limb movements. I might have been my brain meds. I don't know. That was part of the theory. But you know what actually helped me is magnesium. Okay. Holy shit. I hate it. I got a real chill. I got a actual chill up my spine just now. I got a real chill up my spine. I don't know if it's from like, oh, God, this is incredibly vulnerable for our audience. Or I don't know if it's because I'm looking at ghosts of Christmas future and more future. And some fucking magnesium and cyber nose implants. That was so mean. Okay. I mean, to be fair, it is a fun thing about having a three year gap between each of us is you can kind of start like I better start saving for that. Hey, Griffith, you should be so lucky. You're 32. You should have your 42. Yeah. Okay. I got. I'm setting the timer. That's how long I got before I need the implants and then juice a few years after that. Thanks for having the same birthday. Makes it really easy for me. Magnesium. So it's remotely modern. I wish I'd started it sooner and Griffin, you will also have the spider man surgery to look forward too. We get the the wrist cut up. I should get that done with my yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Travel. How how's the sleep been lately? How's it? It's remotely monitored. If I don't wear it for four hours a night, 21 nights out of 30, you take it away. So that's a fun thing to know when I am still waking up in the middle of the night. And then I have to do mental calculations real quick to see if I can take the mask off yet or not. Yeah. That's cool. Wait. What are you talking about? They take it away. What do you mean? Like, because I have to pay for it out of pocket or whatnot. I don't know. Oh, is it like you're not your bad boy who's not following? Yeah. I'm just renting the CPAP. I'm renting that good sleep air. And I imagine that's the insurance company making that decision and not the medical professionals. I have to assume. And I think can I tell you my CPAP losses and outsider, now that you've experienced it, you can tell me how. Just please. But to me, I, somebody who's done a medical history podcast for 13 years, to me, the CPAP machine has always been like super helpful for the, it's been a game changer, a life changer for the people that need it. But it has always seemed to me like one of the main machines that future people are going to be like, what was this? Nice try, guys. Yeah. I mean, they'll have somebody sending nano machines. Yeah. Of course. And guess what? Fuck off future people. Yeah. We don't have nano machines. We're doing our fucking best. We're doing our fucking best in junior. Come on, do 2060 people get out of our butt cracks for a second. We didn't have nano machines. We had to pump it in there. Do you know our printed, our president is the guy from a printus. Are you guys talking? We're doing our goddamn best back here. The guy in charge of medicine is RFT Junior. You're lucky. You got to exist. Yeah. Actually, history, if you're looking back at this with research, go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. You don't have to worry. You're standards. We already know that. Everything's fucking weird and so bad in a new, different way. Literally every morning when we wake up, so fuck off future people. And we don't know that. We get it. So if you're in the future and you're thinking they thought it was all normal. But now we look back. No. No. We don't know. We fucking get it for sure. For sure. Anyway, so I was I was hanging a lot of hopes on this. See, I'm a 42 year old man. I'll do it for you. And every time every time I get a new thing, the doctor's like, oh, I think it's this. I'm like, this is going to fix it all. I'm going to wake up tomorrow. I'm going to feel fucking amazing. And then it's like, no, we're still just trying to maintain a level of, okay, based on your constant, you know, fail. We're going to try to get you back to where you were at 24 when you could stay up past 11. Yeah. That's all that's all we can try to shoot for at this point. Yeah. So now I've got a bike guard. I've got a CPAP. I guess I'm taking magnesium. Now here's what I'm, my whole thing was CPAP. I'm more, I'm more plastic than man. Sorry, go ahead. My news, my septum's like fucking crazy. My septum's like going absolutely hog wild in there. So my breathing's never been great. I use breathing machines, not machines like strips and magnets and all that jazz. I do think a CPAP would be maybe something helpful for me, but also, I'm kind of waiting until they got screens on them. I'm kind of waiting until it's like a full, like a full wrap around half head sort of, I guess more futuristic VR, AR, that's actually a good, as long as we're there, can you do like, sent blasted yet? Can you do like, not your cheese air like I want to lose pool hip oxygen bars that are definitely still a thing. Yeah, I mean, don't advertise that with the product, but God damn it if I haven't thought about it. Man, I think I totally could. What'd you do? I got a hose. comes out of the top of my head of the mask. - Oh, that's cool. - I can just fully flip around in my dollar store Bane cosplay and it's for that to smell like some sick ass eucalyptus or whatever. - The first time your kids come in while you're wearing it in the middle of the night, how are you gonna avoid the temptation to not pretend you're the predator? - 'Cause I'd definitely be like, (kissing sound) - Yes sir. - You're welcome to my room. - You're welcome to my room, BB. - Yeah. - It's me, your daddy. - The difference between you and me, BB. (laughing) - Is you're afraid of the dark and I was born in it and I need this to breathe and not flannel around in the middle of the night. - Teresa also has one. So we have his and hers match like masks. - Oh, that's cute. Do you guys wrap your elbows around when you put them on it? - Yeah, that's who's gonna look to each other. - Like what's your air like? - Yeah. - You know, it's really romantic. - They looped each other's tubes in an infinity symbol that's on the wall. - It's like a decorative tubing. - That's cute. So now with our children, I mean, I can only imagine like years from now that will be like all I can remember is my parents in these alien pods. - Yeah. - I don't know what data was being transmitted through their noses. - What if you've got a pipe organ in the back right as your headboard and you had the tubes like coming out of that? - That would look like bad as soon. - Fuck you, that'd be awesome. - That would be so cool. - This is an advice show and we are, my advice, take care of your human body, stealing what you did earlier, the better. - Magnesium, magnesium, magpound it. - You could probably track some of the lifestyle advice we were giving in 2010 at our current situation and like draw a flow chart to like the repercussions of that, those choices now. - When my scalp is going buck wild and I am fucking fighting it tooth and nail and then I go back to episode one of my bimba where I'm like shampoo and soap is the same thing. I'm like Jesus Christ, man. That's why it's actually cool to be able to draw. I can submit episode one of my bimba as medical history to my dermatologist and be like, this is why my scalp is the way it is. I used to think shampoo and soaps was the same. Time to do a question. I work at a large public library. Thank you to our librarians. I went to a public library this week and it was a beautiful one. The Capitol County Public Library if you ever been to that branch. - Right. - Gorgeous. - I know. - It's great. You guys remember that library? - Yeah, support our libraries. - I guess I work at a large public library. Only one vending machine in the employee break room has Dr. Pepper. Several times now, the beverage has failed to fall after I've already paid for it. Doesn't happen every time. So I keep falling for it. A man comes in to restock the vending machine once every one of two weeks. Brothers, how do I tell this man? He owes me several Dr. Peppers. Can I ask him for one while he's restocking or do I take my losses and pick a different soda? That's from parched and pepperless in Rochester. - I think you can do it once. But if every time this person comes in to restock, you're like, "Happen again." - Yeah. - It's gonna seem like a scam even if it's true. You can't do several at once, right? Because I think the onus is on you. If it happens once, I think that's life, right? And you can be upset about that. But if you continue to pump bucks into this Dr. Pepper machine and you know that you're just addicted to gambling at that point, you know it's not gonna hit sometimes. - Yeah. - Now they did say in additional details that it was high up so they couldn't get another drink to knock it down. But you could get a second Dr. Pepper to knock that first Dr. Pepper down the shoe. And then you have two Dr. Pepper's. - Yeah. - What's that gonna go to waste? - Yeah. - That's true. - Yeah. - Well, but. - Do you think that the next person gets one? It's like a dub. - Yeah. - And it's like double docks. - You gotta wait. You gotta wait for the next person to come and get Dr. Pepper. And when they get a dub, you're like, "One of those is mine." - That's mine. - One of those dub docks is mine. - Please. - You got dub a docks for a buck. - That sucks. - That sucks. - That sucks. - Every time one gets stuck, you're gonna wanna take a picture of it with like today's newspaper next to it. - Yeah. - And then you can show that to the vending machine person but I can't proof that they were held hostage for me. Please return my sons. - That's so impaired. The one thing that is such, that's such an easy business to be in. That honestly the vending machine business. - Yeah. - Like podcasting is easier granted. But like the vending machine thing, all you gotta do is make sure that big boy pays out every time. And if you're like, "Hey, the big boy didn't pay out this time?" - Yeah. - As a vending machine operator, that shouldn't just be a hassle of the job. It should be job one. - Yeah. - As you've failed in the one thing. - The only other maintenance request I personally have is just no products in there that they don't make anymore. I don't care if things are expired or passed their prime, I get that. - Okay, no. - But like I don't wanna roll up to a vending machine and one of the options is frutopia. 'Cause then I know that everything else in that vending machine is probably pretty suspect. - Sometimes an operator, this happens with new operators a lot. You'll read about it in the trades where they will want to position the machine at what they think of as more of an extreme angle. - Yeah, do. - So it's more of like a lean, and that is creates an incredibly dangerous situation. So that is actually the biggest problem is the vending machine owner. Number one is don't let him fall off. - Yes, that's like don't put it at like a funny angle or something like an extreme angle. - You guys know how, especially during Shark Week, people like to quote the statistic that fewer people are killed by sharks each year than are killed by when vending machines fall on them. And do you think that the vending machine owners and operators of America are like, what the fuck, man? Why are we out here catching strays, dude? - We never, like we have never thrown shit at sharks. - Yeah. - Why are you out here? - Oh. - You know what else causes more death than vending machines? Like heart disease, like a bunch of shit. So why are we catching strays out here, dude? - We're just trying to fling handicaps hot fries at anyone with a buck. And I don't understand, they don't make those anymore. - Shit. - They did. - Yeah. - Do they still make handicaps hot fries? - I'm certain. - I think they don't make handicaps anymore. - I love that there's, I love handicaps out here and he's making snacks. And I love snacks. Fries is such a wild thing to call that treat. Those are not even close, my guy. - Yeah. - Not even close. - Well, that's just another thing for him and his wife to argue about. - Why was he the one that they were like, we need a mascot for our hot crunchy chips, our hot crunchy, cuboid chips? They were like, what about famous spouse, arguer, Andy Cap? - They're crunchier than you wanted to be. They're hotter than you wanted to be. They're kind of snackier when you just wanna feel something. And that's Andy Cap's interview, right? - They were already using the lock horns for pretzel bites. So they were like, we need somebody out. Who else hates their wife? - These are Midwestern talkies and they're (laughs) we gotta get Andy. - Get Andy, we gotta get Andy for these. - I like the ones where like, you think about the flint, everything that the flint stands like that? Like, contextually, there's not a cartoon. People aren't watching it. The kids aren't watching that, but they do make vitamins in cereal. What a wild character. - Oh yeah, one of the things that I knew about growing up were this dinosaur family that sold you vitamins in cereal. - Whoa, why? - I do think they went with the pebbles connection there. I do think everyone else kind of just kind of slid into the roll. - But there's not, I'm trying to think of like, there's not like, oh, there used to be a trick's rabbit cartoon. That was famous, like, BB and Dot, we were eating some cuckoo pebbles and they were like, who are those people? And I was like, great question. And I don't know how to explain this in a way that won't make you question my understanding of human history. - Yeah, yeah. - You're not gonna get it right. - Have another question, please. - This is, we're helping. I feel like we're really actually on a roll. - We've done one, for helping. - Well, and we've done one. - We've done one. - Oh, I guess the magnesium thing, okay. - I'm shaperoning a high school trip to DC at March. What are some ways I can alleviate any potential boredom in my students while touring the city? I would like to have small games or side quests ready if they start to get disinterested during a museum tour. For context, we're going to some very cool places, like air and space and natural history. And some less interesting. I have no control over the itinerary. - That's from Flomix in Florida. - Yeah. - What's great about the Washington Monument is that it's really tall. And you can see it from a lot of parts of the city, depending on where you are. So that could be a good, like, there it is again. Look over there, peeking over that building. That's still the Washington Monument. Sometimes they put big, crazy, incredibly, unbelievable, gaudy laser displays up on it for the country's 250th birthday. But there it is, right there, again, still. There, I know we're in Arlington. You can still see that tall motherfucker. - Do you think when you're like a high school teacher or high school shaperone and stuff like that, do you think you have to actively try to, like, observe and figure out, like, the storylines that are playing out between the students? - I don't think that's part of it. In fact, I think they would probably prefer you don't do that. - This is what I'm saying. - Do you have to actively do it? Or do you think it's unavoidable that you're like, I wish I didn't know that these people were like, they both like them and they actually like them and like some understanding of that though, is it, that's just disinterest. - Yeah. - Right? You have to have some understanding of the nuance to be able to lead. - Yeah, I think if you don't understand the politics of the group. - Do you guys ever volunteer to like, shaperone field trips, Henry's on a field trip today. And like, they're always kind of looking for shaperones but I never think I would do a good enough job of it that I actually do a volunteer. - I think I would do a great job at that. My problem is that there would be other parents there and they had a event or something where they all learned each other's names. They didn't go to. - Yeah, so they went to the pancake, they went to the pancake luncheon that you got nine fucking emails about. - Yeah, they did meet up at the pancake luncheon. - Hey guys, it's gotten bad, man. My kids have been in school for a little while. These parents know what each other does for work and stuff. - Yeah. - Oh, dude. - I'm falling way behind. Like, some of my dudes play like golf together or flag football or some shit. - Yeah, man, some falling way behind. - Sometimes I'll roll up on the playground and I'll see like two different parents from two different families like hug when they see each other. - What? - What? - What? - Casually start a conversation. No choices were made, no effort happens. - Dude, crazy. - They just start talking to each other and I'm like, how do you do that? - Give each other a-- - Hey, from across the playground. - Holy shit. - Say each other's name with confidence. - Yeah. - Mark. - What? - Whoa! - You got the ice cold. - That's one of the better. - That's one of the other friends who aren't there. - Yeah. - You guys have outside of you two having to talk to each other's parents? No a third party? - That's wild, man. That's wild. Do you ever see two people? Oh my God. I was party to this last weekend. Do you ever hear two people that don't know each other and have just met trying to figure out the connections that they have? Did you know this person? Or did you go to this time at this school? Oh my God, throw me through a plate glass window, mom. - Yeah. - I'm out. - No, thank you. So, man. - D.C. - D.C. Griffin. Tell them the real D.C. - Yeah, what do you look for behind the curtain there? - If they hadn't said I have no control over the itinerary, I'd love to provide. Planet Word is my favorite music. - First of all, says who? - Yeah. - You got two legs and a voice. - You know? - Yeah, that's true. - Who says you got no control over the itinerary? If you're like this way, kids? - Yeah. - I think they're all holding onto one of those little like long ropes. - Then you're in a schoolers, too. - Take 'em to Planet Word. - It's about the history and mechanisms of language. - It's great, interactive music. - It's my favorite music in the city. - Air and space, ribs, they're always updating that shit. You can go and touch. Guys, I smelled the moon. - They actually smelled the moon. - Yeah, I went to the Air and Space Museum has a little part thing with it's covered by a dome and it's got a little bit of moon rock in there. I mean, I think they want you to touch it, but I put my face way down in there and I smelled it. My kids yelled at me. My kids said, "You're not allowed to do that." - Yeah, that, I know. - I didn't get much, I didn't get much of an aroma. - I am also proud to announce that the Air and Space Museum has finally started stocking my astronaut detective fiction novel, Aaron Space, point boy astronaut. - Yeah, that is, that is an exciting development. For me, Aaron Space is-- - How many volumes deep are you? Is the Aaron Space? - I have written six and published a novella of the first half of one. So I'm, it's an outline. - Okay. - More of an outline right now, for Air and Space. - Pokemon Go. - Yeah, that's a good one. - Oh, it's not bad. - In most cities, in most cities, there's a great Poke Stop density in DC where there's like monuments and shit on every corner. You're getting Pokeballs and potions and revives and raid tickets and shit left and right. It's crazy. - I'm also willing to bet that the like, per square mileage hauntings of DC is pretty high. - Sure. - So you can learn about the haunted history of places and try to catch a ghost. - You took a ghost tour in DC, Trevor. - What? We took a ghost tour in DC. - We took a ghost tour in DC. - Yeah, but I was checked out for a lot of it. - No, no, did we do one in DC? - Yeah. - You weren't there, 'cause you had to be with your kids or whatever. - Oh. - Dorcas. - They're scared of ghosts. They're scared of ghosts. - Oh, what's the, the mansion, the manor on O's street? - Mm, that's a good museum. - Yeah, oh, that's how. - Kids maybe aren't gonna understand a lot of the stuff going on in there. Maybe they're not like huge fans of, I don't know, one room is old anime stuff, and then one room is like, this is the Jimmy Hendrix room. - Crazy manor. - Are you allowed to bring a metal pastor with you? - It's awesome. - One joke at a time, please. I'm just one man. I can't laugh at two jokes at the same time. - I just had a follow up question. So if Travis is a joke, that would add to the overall joke count for the episode and I'd love to get our JPM up. - Yeah, are you allowed to bring a metal detector with you? Because I'm sure it's frowned upon, but I doubt there's something in the handbook that says you can't bring a metal detector with you? - Yeah. - What are you expecting to find? I guess if you wonder the national mall, there's probably, I mean, - A lot of history. - Yeah. Some like, you could, - Peace sign medallions. - You think you could start talking now about how you've heard many works of art in museums or fakes. And then once you're there, you're just starting to have positive, like, that one. - That one. - You can tell I'm right here. Right here, this is a crayon part. They did this with crayons. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, if you look here in the National Portrait Gallery, Mr. Bean did come through and he destroyed the Obama portrait by a series of silly accidents and he did paint it back up with a poster and some lacquer. You can see the signs of Mr. Bean's work here and here. Point at every piece of art you see and attribute its existence to Dolly Madison saving it. Just to see how many of those you can get away with. Like, and we wouldn't have that if it weren't for Dolly Madison. - Yeah. - Thanks Dolly Madison. - You could have a map of the world and have your students mark the different places that the works of art they've seen are from. - Yeah. - So you can kind of see all the diverse locations that hold on one second. - Jokes! - Get back it. Massage is over. - Jesus Christ, jokes you're running up the fucking massage room. - It's supposed to be five minutes, dude. What the fuck? - It's dude. - Put your pants on. Jokes. - You could try to plan a hypothetical national treasure everywhere you go. - Now I was about to go to national treasure. - Yeah. - And you could hire someone who kind of looks like Nicholas Cage and have him sort of sneak around the corner different parts of the city where you're not stopping. So you have that little interstitial, like everyone keep an eye out for whatever the guy's name is. I think his name is Nicholas Treasure in the movie. - His name? Oh no, hold on. - Do it. - Benjamin Franklin something. - Benjamin Franklin Gallagher? - Something like that. - You're also gonna need to hire a Sean B and look alike to be the evil guy. - Benjamin Franklin. - Gates. - Benjamin Gates. - Ben Gates. - Ben Gates. - Cool name. - That was like a million great ass suggestion. Like these fucking. - That's like we're helping so many people. It's kind of weird. - Yeah, that's not true. - We're on fire. - You can use it in any circumstance. - Hey, listen, we're on fire. Let's take this energy and direct it. Let's get out of this and wear it belongs. - To the money zone. (upbeat music) - Is that him? (upbeat music) - Have you been doodling what would Pokemon look like as people for years now? And you've gotten really good at it and you wanna sell your art online? Have I got an idea for you? - Squarespace. - Do you do this? - Do I? - Yeah. - No, I have no artistic ability outside of architectural drawings. I've done what would Pokemon look like as buildings and it doesn't, it just doesn't convey the same kind of power or sexuality. - Yeah, some Pokemon's is buildings now. - What? Is that true? - Yeah, they're making Pokemon's everything. - What's that? - People living inside the Pokemon? - People don't live in them. They just turn into big buildings. - But they don't live in them. That seems like such a waste. - Squarespace is the best way to make a website and put it online and have people think you're a professional and then also have those people pay you for your goods and services that you offer on this incredible looking website. We've been obviously advertising with Squarespace for many years now. It's probably the longest and healthiest relationship any of us have ever had. But Squarespace also is something that's definitely the most supportive. The Squarespace we've used many times to build websites for ourselves, our brands, our jokes, so many places we've had to use Squarespace's services and I say had to, I mean get to 'cause it's fun. It's simple drag and drop sort of functionality, beautiful world class design templates, all any kind of tools for payment or like appointment, scheduling or whatever you need your site to do. Dang Squarespace is gonna make it work. - Have you guys ever noticed? Dad has never sponsored an episode of my brother, my brother and me. - Yeah. - Squarespace has many, many, many, many-- - Yeah, I have noticed that. - Wow. - Really good. - And you know what? It takes money from us. - Yeah. - Squarespace gives us money to talk about their product, and that only takes money. - I gave us money earlier, like before. - Yeah, but that was when I didn't need it. I was a child. I didn't need money when I was a child. How was I buying it? - They should have held on to that money and gave it to you later when you needed it. - Yes, they were wasting it on you as a kid. - Yeah, I would have loved the 25 cumulative dollars, Clint McRoy ever gave me now. - Drag his ass. - Wow, dad. - Three bucks. - It is economy. - Three bucks, huh, Mary Christmas to me. Anyway, head to squarespace.com/mybrotherforafree trial, and when you're ready to launch, use offer code MyBrother to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. (humming) - I want a mud squad. (humming) ♪ I want to mud squad ♪ (humming) Welcome to mud squad, it's podcast. It's the podcast profile and latest greatest brand eating. Arby's and racing, Arby's. - Mm-hmm. - Speed. - Arby makes me-- - Arby makes me go fast. - Arby goes fast? - The Arby's kicks off the meat in three bucks, pit stops. Two, and this is a quote, fuel the masses. - Cool, dude. - That feels like a lot of words, and by the end of it, I don't know any more information than I knew at the beginning. - Yeah. - Since launching the $7.99 meat in three bucks, that's what it's called. - Meat in three. - Meat and three is the three delicious-- - Ah, you can cross this bridge. - When you eat my meat and three. (laughing) - There's, yeah, they announced it with master real estate. I have to, this is cool, I, you know, I don't wanna get down. (laughing) I don't wanna get all these freaking side-tages every time we do these things, guys. But people are just like out here doing stuff. - Yeah. - These are the real estate people that announced the meat in three bucks. - They're not, are we all doing okay? - Those aren't real people? - Yeah, they're real people that announced, anyway. (laughing) So the meat in three bucks is three is a meat and three things. And they're trying to find a way, this is again in the press release. Arbise has been hard at work to find a way to bring the meats to more fans. We used to have the core of, you know? - Yeah, sure. - You know, we're gonna bring you the meats, you dirty dogs, the solution. Eight Arbise sponsored NASCAR O'Reilly Auto Parts Series Races, three race car drivers and multiple meat and three box pit stops all on the way. - It must be so embarrassing for a brand to not be able to sponsor a whole car. - Don't you think that must be embarrassing when Arbise is like, check out our Arbise car and fuckin' Sonoco's on there too and tied dish washing pods and Dura-Cell batteries. - But it's mostly us, so you can call the beef race. - But it's mostly us. - We're on the hood. - Beef racer if you want. - Yeah. - Not the beef and battery racer, 'cause Dura-Cell calls it the battery racer boat. It's really the beef racer. - It's the beef racer. - So tough right now, lots of people going vegan. We can't afford a whole NASCAR car. - We wanna bring you the meats, but we have so many meats that we have to make for a damn vegan's, keep making us stop. - You don't have to eat 'em, but we just hold 'em. - Can we have just via trouble? - Just smell our meat. You might, then you might like it. What if you're vegan plus Arbise? - Huh? - You can do it. You can use it for other stuff. Keep telling. - Give it to your dog. - Feed it to your turtle. - Maybe put it in like a safety deposit box and like leave it for a great grandchild or something. It's like a family beef loom. - And the future beef is money. (laughing) - We've been in the future. - Please. - We're not gonna spoil anything, but you're gonna want this meat. - Yeah, this is what I, this is what I wanna get to though. This is, and this whole thing, this is like, it's not that surprising. The Arbise would do up some like, Arbise branded races. Like it's a tour of Arbise branded races powered by horsey sauce. - Cool. - You think there's a lot of prestige for winning one of these races? - Huge. - Huge. - Are you kidding me? I'll tell you what is bad is if you make it hurt. - That's not how you want that in your race. - Yeah, how do you go out? Yeah, he was at the top of the game and then he was doing the beef races and Jeff Gordon? - Yeah, he, I don't know why he was still, he's, his license has been revoked. I don't know how they got him out there. - And listen to this. - Foaming at the mouth, just screaming about horsey sauce and he did die. - There's no better way to put it. He beefed it. - He did beef it. - He beefed it real hard. And that's how they'll always be remembered. - That's what all the headlines said. They did work in some sort of beef pun in quotes. His family. - Well done. - Well done. - That's some sort of fire. - Yeah, that's another beef thing. So, apologies for the Gordon estate. - I guess the thing that is hard for me and I, this is the thing that I want to share with you guys. And it's hard that I missed it. That this event occurred that I'm about to describe to you and that we weren't cordially invited to it. And the fact that it happened, that this was real and it happened, on the eve of NASCAR's biggest race, Arby's showed up with Max Horsey power in Daytona. Building on the success of last summer's Jeboka Shake Tour, the brand hosted a surprise Jimmy E. World Cup of Concert inside a local Arby's restaurant at Ridgewood Avenue in Daytona Beach. The free concert transformed Arby's into a rock and roll dance floor, compared with branded airbrush hats. - The Jimmy E. World Rock and Roll Dance floor? - Sorry, Kevin, you brushed over airbrush the hat. - Custom airbrush hats? - Yeah, they had custom airbrush hats. And I actually have, if you guys have a second, I have some like live video. - Yeah, Jimmy E. Beef? - With Jimmy E. Beef, let me see if I can. (upbeat music) (laughing) (laughing) - Arby, Arby, Arby, Arby, Arby, Arby. - So, he's like, "It's so good." First of all, huge jealousy. And there is, if you think that we are in any way judging or criticizing a Jimmy E. World for doing this, you do not know our brand, I'm telling you, I'm so furious that this happened and we did not get to participate. - I would have done it for half the price. - I just, I wanna get whatever Jimmy did. - Well, I wanna be, work on it with Jimmy. - Yeah, I don't wanna, my brother, my brother, me doing exclusive concerted at Arby's is just a regular Wednesday afternoon in Huntington. I mean, that's not a big thing. - I'm just saying, we would have opened. - There's a little bit for Jimmy E. Beef. - There's just, Jimmy's up there. I wasn't familiar with that other song, but you know, Jimmy's gonna play sweetens or something at some point. And there were a lot of people in that video just and you showed me of that private Arby's Jimmy E. World concert. That all those people just happened to be at Arby's. They were fucking air brushing hats and shirts and they were eating the food and they were talking pretty loud with their friends. And meanwhile, great American rock classic group, Jimmy E. World is on stage to an audience of people who really are there for the beef and the hats and the art activity and the babes, it looks like some of them were. - I would have been in their veins. - I definitely would have been. That's what I'm saying. If you're at a Jimmy World concert, even if it's at Arby's, take a minute to, it's like when you're sitting down at a restaurant and then like a pianist comes up on stage and starts playing forever. And you gotta give 'em a little like, you gotta give 'em a little bit of attention, I think. - Just take some time. Little girl, you're in the middle of a concert at Arby's. - Yeah. - The other version I was gonna do is you just take some time, little girl, and eat the middle of the sandwich. It's full of beef and you-- - Even the middle of the sandwich. Now that was an old Arby's campaign where they were like, the middle was where the beef is, only the middle's. - Yeah. - And it was like, that's wild. - For some reason it was like straight through the middle. Don't eat to the middle. Kind of just dive at it. - Bore a hole in the middle. - Bore a hole in the sandwich. - I would like to read some comments from the Instagram post. - To Keishi Doodle says, the ultimate way to start our 2026 best party, I've airbrushed at. Thank you so much for inviting us to paint your merch, Arby's. - Cool. - Thanks. - God bless you. - God, I wish I lived a life where not only did I go to an airbrush party, but I had gone to so many airbrush parties that that was a metric I could use. - I just wanna be in a place where I can thank Arby's and mean it. - Someone said that's cool. - John with Cal party like a rock star. That is not a kind of thing to say. And I wish you hadn't said it. I don't think Mr. with Cal is in the video. And I'm sure he would love to get out there, but I did not smile. - That's wild. - Why did they bring, why did they put their name? - Why is John with Cal here? - Why is it here? - That is the party that you've been missing. Just so you know, inspire team members. That's from the people at Arby's HQ took a bus. behind the scenes. look at Arby's number one Chevrolet. They took a tour of the JR M race team hauler and even had a chance to score tickets to Saturday's race. And then I want to show you guys a picture and they've got this. They've got this on the the thing where you can watch. I don't know. It's one of those carousels. Don't you hate that? I fucking hate that shit, man. Don't make your images some sort of special CSS element that I can't then share with my brothers easily to make them laugh. Okay, good. I'm gonna I think I'm gonna share. I'll just like put this image there. They got people in the Arby's chef chef coats. And the fact that these images that these things exist is really what I'm jealous of. Can you see these? Look at that. Look at that. I know you're not got you guys are excited enough. It's a black chef's coat with a huge red Arby's logo on it. I would do anything. Are you kidding me? It's. Look at these people. They're the Arby chefs. They're the ones who are like, maybe two me slice the roast beef on that one. Yeah, it's very like this cheese sauce is not thick enough. We could probably layer a different kind of meat that we've never even fucked with in here if we just try it. Do you guys think you could go and score me some of that thick burger king mayonnaise that we can then put on the on the the new one? I did want to show you guys a picture of the meat in the three box. I like how in this picture and I know the people at home can't see it. So let me describe it to you. The roast beef sandwich towers above the other three. Yeah. I'm just really lording it over the peon. It looks like they're worshiping at the feet on the sandwich, right? Yeah. While the power behind the thread of the giant Coca-Cola goes, yes, my lord. Yes, I've heard it. Yes, my lord. I've heard of me into them. Cry your name, my lord. They cry for you. Oh, Jew. They say, oh, Jew, spill your Jew on us. Drip drip upon us, my lord. I've heard meat in three used in a sort of Southern like barbecue sense, but usually when I hear it that way, they are implying that there will be some sort of vegetable or or bread sort of involved in there with the three. I don't think it means curl seasoned up curly fries full blown mozzarella sticks and what looks like a fried apple egg roll perhaps. Just I'm just really glad that you showed us this picture because every time you say meat and three, I see I have something to do with someone's dick and three balls. Yeah, so I'm glad that you know, it doesn't and it doesn't. And I guess Arby's, please always get at us like I don't know, you know, Jimmy eats brothers. It's the perfect crossover by their teeth, please. Brother seats, babe. My fiance and I are getting married in a walking labyrinth. We realize people may assume it's movie theme because we've been saying we're having a labyrinth wedding. Yes. Should we explicitly stay on invitation to does nothing to do with the film or just see what people think a labyrinth wedding is? I haven't even seen the movie. Yeah, I'm sorry. Well, that's you are actually having you're having a labyrinth themed wedding. You need to be okay with the fact that it's you can't just have it be in a it's a labyrinth themed wedding. You need some stuff in there from the film. You got to have the stuff from the film in there, man. That's like saying, yeah, we're having a wedding in a cube, but it's not a cube shape. It's not based on the webbing. Yeah, we're doing it at the new Super Nintendo World amusement park. It is not an Nintendo based event this wedding. It's but do not dress up as Mario. He will be there, but it's not has nothing to do with it. It just worked out that the fortress of solitude had the dates available that we're looking for. We are not doing superman superman. No, I don't I think he's boring. It's a beautiful fortress. Bit of a trek. It is a destination wedding. We realize that's going to be a problem for some photos. Yeah, it's in the Arctic. Do you think I don't know what this is? And so that can sometimes not a super funny thing when someone's trying to guess what a real thing is. But I'm guessing that they're on opposite ends of it. Yeah, and they're trying to find each other when they do their married. Yeah, and they only have 10 minutes. There's also minutes. You also don't want to run into one of the scarecrows because if they get you, they tear up your marriage license. That's right there. The rings inside the shrine of the silver monkey. Well, the shrine of the silver monkey contains the rings, Justin. Okay, so of course you're you're made of honor and your best man once, but if they get caught by one of the scarecrows, they're going to kill them. David Bowie will not be there. Goblin King will not be there. Little nasty worm will not be there. Handhold. No, not any of that shit. No orbs will be there for a price. Why haven't you seen Lapis? It's great. I gave my kids a stink. I when I realized I hadn't seen Lapis and their kids and I'm their dad and I still was like really guys haven't seen Lapis. I wish I could watch you again for the first time. Yeah, I just saw someone put out a Labyrinth theme set of sneakers and I almost bought it for hundreds of dollars and I wouldn't even wear the ding dang things. How funny would it be if you told everyone it's not the movie never even seen the movie and then you get to the vows and then you're like you remind me of the babe and then you reveal like just kidding and then you both pull out or oh my god. If you walk out to Magic Dance, I know you never heard it and you shouldn't because when you realize the Omega Bob that you have just dropped on your wedding and the first time you're hearing it is when you're married. What? Double twist. The fishiant holds up their hands and they've got eyeballs in the palms of their hands and they hold it up to their face and it's a pan's Labyrinth theme wedding. Whoa, I love that. That's cool. I don't want to I don't want to be a jerk but if you've never seen the movie, you're having a maze wedding. You do not like Labyrinth enough to call the Labyrinth wedding. If you haven't even seen the movie about them, you know, you don't like Labyrinth. It's a maze wedding. It's a maze wedding and that's like some that's like some Slylock Fox like yeah. It's a lot easier in this. Yeah. I want a wedding that's like on a kid's kid's restaurant activity that you never mean. Yeah. Yeah. You're missing so many opportunities to because I think there's so having a Labyrinth theme wedding that's actually Labyrinth themes of like having a ring bearer come in and it's like a little Fox puppet on the back of a big shaggy dog that can like bring in the ring. Fucking incredible. But let someone who loves the movie planet and do all this and you still don't see the movie. So when you show up, it's like what is happening at the reception, you screen the movie and go, oh, okay. When the audience stands up and they all talk with their hands and units and you're going to flip your shit. Yeah. Also guys, why is this the second time it's in many days? I don't know. I was talking about thick sauce earlier. It feels like we're just doing this sort of sequel to the last episode. I mean, we're the same people. Just a week older, I guess. All right. We're according to the last episode of Monday. It is currently Wednesday, about 40 hours as the crow flies. Okay. It's one of my last thought before we start recording was I can't believe I have to fucking do this. Yeah, we just did. Talk to talk to these Sam. Oh, man. It's a good like the just yeah. Yeah. I mean, thanks so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you had fun. We hope you enjoyed yourself and you remind me of the babe. Mm hmm. What the babe that wrote a choose your own adventure book. His name is Griffin McGrath. He's a wee baby. I got a beer now. It's called the Stowe way and it costs ten dollars. Have you read it? Hey, I want to say Griffin. Hey, Griffin, I want to start a countdown clock as a promotional tool for your book. Okay. Has your son read your book yet? He has not. Okay. It's so far one day. How many days have you had it? How many days have I had it? About three weeks, my man. He is a dedicated now on day 21 of Griffin's son. My youngest son read it with me. My nine-year-old is like, all right. We're now on day 21 of Griffin's oldest son, not reading his book. Griffin, I do want to continue to check you in. Yeah, he will get he will get eventually he'll begin to take a curiosity to what his father does. Bit.ly/ Griffin Stowe way. You can beat my oldest son before at reading the book that I wrote called the Stowe way. And it's a choose your own adventure book as an outer space survival tale perfect for middle-grade readers or anyone who wants to hear a great interactive adventure hosted by yours truly. It's called the Stowe way and it's ten dollars. And the first week of book sales are so important. So bit.ly/ Griffin Stowe helped me out. It's ten dollars. Over at macrowymarch.com, we got a lot of great merch. This month, including helping is always a free action t-shirt. They're really cool. I think you're going to like them in 10% of all merch proceeds this month. It will be donated into border angels. So go check that out macrowymarch.com. We stream over on the macrow family YouTube. We got clubhouse the last Tuesday of each month. And on all the other Tuesdays, we're doing super macrow brother gaming streams at noon e-string time. And we got solo streams throughout the week. I just started a run of a return of the over 10 on 80 hd detective. So make sure you check that out every Wednesday. I know. I'm playing Majora's mask randomizer. every Friday, it's called Trial by Fieri. - God, what a game. - God, what a game, indeed, just also a game. - Yeah, but you're worst masked as a game as well. - Have you settled on what you're doing next, J-Man? - I have been thinking about playing mist. - Yeah. - Yeah, hell yeah, man. - Hell yeah, man. - I don't think kids today have seen mist. - Yeah, I don't even mean. - No, it's fucking, it's a wild one. Do you like the old like DVD version of mist? Do you like one of those old wild ones? - Oh, busted down thing. - Thanks to Montan, thank you for your time song. My life is better with you. Did I mention that my book's out tomorrow, March 10th? I don't think I said that part. - Tomorrow is the crow flies. - Yeah, so go check that out. And I'm gonna, I guess, throw the book, throw the book. I'm not gonna throw it, I'm gonna do, I have a lot of copies of it. - Yeah, throw the book. - Oh, I'm gonna do that. - Throw the book, throw it. - Can't believe he's gonna throw the book. - Fahrenheit 451. - Yeah, so a little respect for the URL. - Griffin's throwing his own work. - Three, two, one. - That's what Griffin does every time he hands in the book. - It was perfect though. Like it kind of went in the clouds. - If we could get a six screenshot, it would look like the book was just kind of - I broke my goddamn D.C.U. tree. (laughing) - Good doctor. - I broke my goddamn D.C.U. tree. What a good book. - It's so solid, you can break it. God damn D.C.U. tree Lego said. I'm Travis McElroy. - I'm Griffin McElroy. - Damn this book. - Brother, my brother, B. - Get your dad's square on the lips. (laughing) (upbeat music) ♪ It's better with you ♪ ♪ It's better with you ♪ ♪ It's better, it's better with you ♪ ♪ This is true ♪ ♪ It's better, it's better with you ♪ ♪ It's better, it's better with you ♪ - Maximum Fun. - A work-road network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.