MBMBaM 784: Can You Escape Hatred Cove?

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? What, dirty freak, what's the side of something beautiful? A small quaintant has blossomed, it's wrapping into a precious friendship. I could have never seen what was coming for me, hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach, my life, it feels like. It's better, it's better with you, my life, oh, it's better, it's better with you, this is true, it's better, it's better with you, my life, oh, it's better with you. Hello everybody, welcome to my brother, my brother, me and an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy. What's up, Trave Nation? It's me and your brother Travis, big dog woof woof woof woof woof, McElroy. It's just sweet baby brother, Griffin 30 into 30 built for tough McElroy. Why did you send me a TikTok Travis, the second we started recording? Because we were talking about things that you were going to do. Talks about things that you were going to do. Right before we started recording. It was a travel recommendation. You were going to request specifically from him. I just got the notification quite delayed, so I thought you were like, dude, you're never going to believe what donkey lips looks like now, or whatever the fuck, the kind of TikTok. Actually, I would absolutely because I put the gentleman in the portrayed donkey lips in a in a cameo for Travis, so he would actually definitely believe what donkey lips looks like now. Yeah. By the way, if you need a cameo, the guy who played donkey lips really delivered it was like seven minutes long. It was fantastic. Really, really solid shit. Hey, we were, Rachel and I were talking the other night, Michael Boer. Michael Poera. I am college. So bad every time I said the guy who played donkey lips, I wanted to give him, yeah, he has a name. Rachel asked me a question. We were talking about it. Sorry. I just wanted to, I wanted to clarify. I searched up his name and not his political interests or affiliations. So no gang. Just to say it's bad, we don't, we simply don't have time to vet while we're in the fucking flow state. Yeah. We can't vet in the flow state. It's important. Can't vet in the flow. We were, Rachel and I were talking about our boys and how they are. They're pretty ticklish. They're pretty ticklish, old guys. Someone showed that like you don't have to be trying to. It just will happen sometimes. And then Rachel said, you're not very ticklish. I said no. She said, what about your brothers? And immediately I was hit with like 15 different feelings, emotions, reactions down my soul. I don't know. I don't know if my brothers are ticklish. Should I know if my brothers are ticklish? How would I know? How could I find out? Did I tickle them? Did I tickle them? Did I tickle them? Did I tickle them? I don't think I tickled you guys much, but I was the littlest one. So it felt like they're tickling a lot. But I don't think we tickle, I don't want to call you out Griffin. Yeah. I knew you weren't ticklish. And I know Justin was extremely ticklish. I don't know about his current state. That's something. So I'm regretful now that you brought this up. Yeah. I wish I could go back in time to a time when I was tickling you and say like, remember this. You know what I mean? Because like I don't. I don't remember any time I ever did such a thing. Of course I remember you guys tickling me. This is a cute little guy pie. You gotta get in there. But I don't remember going after you guys. And then I felt like should I have tried to tickle them? Natural order is, so we know tickling is how bigger mammals teach smaller mammals where the bleeding parts are. Right. So it's how you teach them to defend. And so there's no need for you to teach me where not to get the parts are. Yeah. I want to make it a blow on your belly though, and you'd go nuts for it, Justin laughing. Skigling. Griffin, I would pop your toes without warning. You would do that. You nasty fucking hole. Yeah. Until eventually you're like, yeah. Okay. You still do that shit. If you can't, it's fine. Get your puppers out backstage. I don't know. It's always to get all five, all five, and one, two, one, two, yeah. Colin, Pety, Pupperculler, Pety Pupperculler coming round the sticky feet backstage. Pety, Pupperculler pulling perfect puppies. At people asking, hey, can we come, let us get some some passes back to the green room after the show. So you don't want to be there. What are these balls? It's a guest list. I hope you're wearing the shoes. Pumpkin. Puller. I'm not pumpkin. I'm not tickling my kids. I realize tickling is like a charge subject these days. It just felt like, isn't I didn't know, I don't know, man. I just felt like I just don't know because these days, should I have known? Should I have, am I a bad, am I a worse brother for not knowing or I think on the scale of things you don't know about us. I would say whether or ticklish or not isn't high up. Okay. Of bad things to know. But you've got to let people grow, you know, and maybe just because we were ticklish, when we were kids, it doesn't mean you know how we're at now, right? I mean, the other day, because Justin's doing a pumpkin carving contest for the Huntington Jones Museum. And he put on the thing that he's allergic to pumpkins. And Teresa asked me like, is that true? And I said, I don't know, which is I think on the grand scheme of things way worse way worse. Oh, man. Okay. I waited to the last minute to fill out my bio for the pumpkin carving contest in the Huntington Jones Museum. And I said two things in that, in that bio that I wrote. I wrote in the bio that I did wait to the last minute to do. I wrote that I am definitely allergic to pumpkins. I wrote that I'm definitely allergic to pumpkins. And I wrote that if I raised $5,000, I would eat my pumpkin raw. No, you probably can't guess what state I was in when I filled out my bio. But yeah, I would just love any support I could get there because I did not, that, yeah, I don't, that was not true when I wrote. But now the post that they have started resharing are like, this brain here just in sacrifice. Not a brave hero. Yeah, I would say more of a pumpkin martyr. Yeah. It is going to be, if I can hit five Gs, my bits going to be the six Gs, I no longer have to eat the pumpkin. So it's going to be, yeah, and I'll keep like just holding myself hostage. That's great. That's great. Was that the story you wanted to tell? No. Wow. You got so fucking yarn spinner over there. You brought up. Got so much interesting shit happening. He brought up the pumpkin carving thing. That wasn't even mine. I didn't bring that up. Yeah. And I'm saying you live a life full of stories and that's like, I'm telling stories of passion, stories of friendship and tales of how romance survived guys. You ever look back over like our past couple of months of episodes and think we could have been talking, we could have been doing a tron watch and that one slide right on. Let's let next episode be very, very tron watch centric travel. Yeah, put the time in because I don't want to throw that together instead. I just want to follow up on the rocks girl real quick. Fucking yeah, man. Yeah, man. This is, this is guys, sometimes I feel like the universe is kind of forming things around me and I think that's a pretty human experience, right? And you got to shake it. But sometimes all the time you feel like that, you know, I mean, sometimes 100% of the time is 100% of the time. I try to fight that urge because I don't think it's healthy. But I was one. The only perspective I've got just I fucked up to say right in front of you. I was watching the Graham Norton show with my wife and see it was on the Graham Norton show. That's a huge thing. That would be huge. Did she mention us? Did she say shit about our meat? No, no, no, they had a huge they had huge wattage. They had Emily Watson, yeah, and James Norton, I think was Emma Watson. What? Emma Watson? Emily Blunt. Emily Blunt. Different. Yeah. James Norton. I think it's his name, right? He's an actor, James Norton. He was an actress named Emily Watson, who was in Punstruck Love. No, this is Emily Blunt. Okay. James Norton. Wow. And Graham Norton, the host of the Graham Norton show, did no relation, right? He fucked up if he wasn't there, man. And Matthew McConaughey. Wow. All right. All right. And the rock. And the rock. Look up at the sky as a pitch black void. Because all the stars are here. So guys, I want to tell you that the the subject of the rock and the rock skirt, and the rock transformation came up. And it came up at a time when Matthew McConaughey was also on the stage. And what transpired was so fucking great that I wanted to include basically eight minutes of the Graham Norton show in our show. I don't think you are allowed to know, but no one can you imagine? There is no podcast board authority who could do fucking anything to us at this point, but we should probably be back. Yeah. So what there is not a law against though is watching it over and over and over again and transcribing it yourself by hand. And then having your brothers read it with you. There's something to laugh about. to like recreate, there's no law against that at all. - That's true. - Okay. - So who's he gonna give the rock to? Probably juicer's gonna take that. - Well, I wanted to ask you guys, if you guys were gonna be, if one of you was the rock and one of you was Matthew McConaughey, while I'm sharing this, I wanted you guys to figure it out. I'll be Graham Norton, but I'd like to do a better McConaughey than me. - Travis has just grabbed a jug. - Well, I had an empty jug up there, and I didn't wanna show it in the-- - Oh, I thought you were getting a fucking prop. 'Cause you're like, here's the rock and his jug. Everyone does. The rock is never without his special jug. - He's great as a jug. - He's practicing for our live-action Emmett Otters jug band Christmas. - Yeah, she is. - With the rock, 'cause I really don't wanna hold in the wash tub. - Even though this will be a dramatic section of the show, I do wanna encourage, if we need to take a break at any point for discussion, it's a deeply incredible thing that exists, and I don't wanna rush to it, are you? Have you received the script through the rock skirt? - Through what medium will we be receiving this? - I shared it in your email address. - Okay. - If you can look in your email address, you should see it there. - I will say, right now, it does look like it says rock scar. - Yeah, it's hard to say the rock skirt, it's part of the appeal. Now I will say this, please don't read ahead. - It's first thing, 'cause we need to fresh. Second thing I'll say is that I did my best to transcribing it, please don't make any bits about how it's transcribed, just like do your best because obviously-- - I'll do my very best, dude. - There's no humor in that, 'cause I did my best. - Great. - Let's just, let's start here. Can we start here? I don't think it would be particularly hard to throw together a Graham Norton impression. I think any one of us can handle that, right? The rock will be tough because his voice isn't just deep. It is, there is a richness to it that is hard to emulate if you just don't got the vocal cords for it. I think we start with Matthew McConaughey, assigning that one, 'cause it feels like that's the one that a bad version of is going to stick out the most. - Okay. - So just, I will, it's just that Matthew McConaughey talks the most in this section, and I don't want it, you don't want it to sound like a bad Matthew McConaughey impression the whole time? - I just don't want it to feel like I would joke. - I would joke. - Yeah. Okay, Griffin, I'll take a shot at McConaughey. You take a shot at the rock. - Okay, but let's use just sort of our normal voices with a little bit, 'cause Justin's right, we don't want the joke to be our impressions. He worked pretty hard on this. - Okay, thank you. - It should be about the words. Justin's not gonna say that out loud. I will. - It's unreal that Matthew McConaughey is still McConaughey as hard as he is, and I'm so fucking happy. - Okay. - I'm so happy. - All right. You know the D-O-D, you're doing timeout. - So I'll stop it right here. Because I think it's better if we stop it right away instead of get into it and then we have to interrupt the flow state. He did just say we weren't gonna do crazy impressions. - Yeah, unless it's like fucking sick. - Yeah. - Yeah. - That was pretty good. - You didn't say unless it's sick. - By doing that, you are casting a shadow over Travis and I to high. So do you want the joke to be about the words? - No, no, no, no. - No, no, no. Okay, okay, I'll be Graham Norton. I'm just making that clear. - But he only talks, he only talks for like, one little section. So I just want to have a little bit of fun for the one bit that I get to talk. - For sure, for sure. But people are going to be thinking about because it is the introduction while me and Travis are reading. The important words you wrote, they're gonna be good. - Also, what a sign of a great interviewer. - Sure. - It's he just laughs that people talk. - Okay, you're right. Okay, you're right, you're right. - Thank you. - You're right, and I'm sorry, here we go. - You know the idea of Dwayne Johnson disappearing by the way, just so we're clear, that is where we're at now, folks. - Okay. - Dwayne Johnson. - Cool. - The idea of Dwayne Johnson disappearing in any role, you kind of think, oh, how can you transform? But you do, and it's, it's not just a physical thing because it's obviously this hair and, but what other things went on? - It was about 22 prosthetics. We had Kazuhiro, our Oscar-winning prosthetic artist, and he helped me transform. There was also vocal transformation too, but the idea I think of transforming for me was something that, you know, I didn't know that I was, I didn't know that was for me, and I wanted to do that because a lot of times in the movies that I've made in the past, the bigger movies, they're big, and they're fun, and I've liked them from Jumanji to Moana, and I'll go back to those. Says that, dude, he says, from Jumanji to Moana. - Jumanji to Moana. - Jumanji, Moana. - Moana, bananas by the bunch. I can't take so good. - Okay, and I'll go back to those, but there was something about this opportunity where there was a little, there was a voice behind my rib cage that was just telling me, right? So I had shared this. - Do you see me his heart? (laughing) - This is the first time the rocks ever listed do his heart. - It was like, I feel it. It was, I don't know, a voice behind my rib cage. What's in there, belongs? - So I had shared it. - I looked at a building and thought, what if it didn't explode? (laughing) - So I had shared this with Emily for years. Like, it's just-- - Emily Hoon, sorry, the rock. - Sorry, Emily Blunt. - Or Watson from Punch Drunk Love, one of these here. - For years, it's just, it's gnawing at my gut to do more and challenge myself and grow and do something where I'm not chasing box office, but I'm doing it for me, yeah. And it wound up being the most greatest, most gratifying thing, and I've said this before, and I mean it. The smashing machine changed my life. - Okay, now, God, this is important. So far, Matthew McConaughey has not, to this point, as far as I could clock, spoken at all on the whole set, at all on this entire episode of The Graham Norton Show. - Okay. - Period. - Maybe at the beginning, it's like some like whatever. But then like, Matthew McConaughey is fully awoken by the story that the rock has just told about the journey for the rock skirt. Travis, if you would. And, and Travis, again, this is quite a, quite a speech. So just don't we are. - We are, yeah, we are. - Yeah. - I had that 4 a.m. in my soul. - Now wait, now, let me solve it right here, because we were both so brave in our, now I had that 4 a.m. in my solitude on my own truth that hit me. - Fucking good start. - It's like, yeah, I know, like guys, you gotta let me get a rhythm going. - Yeah, you gotta let him get through a sentence, Griff, seriously. - You're right, you're right. - You gotta let me get a rhythm going here, okay? Okay, so I had that 4 a.m. That lands like a butterfly and strikes like a lightning both at the same time. - That truth that you go, okay. Tomorrow when the sun comes up, - No, Griff, do not eat along. - Focus on your brother. Just listen to your brother right now. - I'm gonna full screen my brother. - Yeah, I don't think the rock talks again at this fucking second, so I'm fucked out. - That truth that you go, okay, tomorrow when the sun comes up and I'm back in the masses and all the world's coming at me and all those offers, I need to remember this truth. - Now I've been trying to get dramas and was even offering huge pay cuts and they were like, no, staying your lane, McConaughey, you're the rom-com guy, you got that down. Mind you, I enjoyed them, but I was wanting to do something different. - From June 1st to June 1st. - From June 1st. - From June 1st. - From June 1st. - I'm gonna, dude, please ask me to do more of those please. - If my brother, my brother, the episode goes by where I do not say from June 1st to June 1st, I failed, okay. I said, wait, yeah, but I was wanting to do something different because I couldn't do what I wanted to do. I said, I gotta stop doing what I'm doing. So I said, no more, no more rom-coms. Called the angel, I said, let the town know it's not going to happen. I went to Texas. Miller's pregnant on the ranch, quiet down there. Camilla says to me, look, you don't know how long it's going to be dry, how long are you going to not go with work? This could go on, but this is non-negotiable. We're not going back. I was like, not going back. Now a year goes by. No, nothing, nothing. - He did go die agent. - I called my agent, he goes to Matthew. I haven't heard your name in six months. Am I going, okay. I may have just wrote myself a one way to get out of Hollywood. I started to think about other vacation, school teachers. - No, no, no. - No vocations. Other vocations, school teacher, wildlife guide. Maybe I go back to law school. - Now we will take a brief break. How much, how little of this syllabus is Matthew McConaughey, the school teacher going to cover in any given day? I feel like you're going to get, once you reach the program, I can only say only 16 questions today, before we even get started, but Todd, yeah, go. Go, please. - It's the hair up. - When you weren't working with, yeah. - I was not even thinking about, of course, the constant Q and A people would have, I was just thinking Matthew McConaughey trying to like, you know, get into the battle of Versailles and just really just taking a long time, taking a long walk to get there. - His vocations that he lists off, school teacher. - Or school, and listen, I'm not one to hate on Hollywood. People, they're working hard and I'd love to be one. But it does show a little bit of a disconnect with the job market when you're trying to think of jobs and you're like a school teacher, wildlife guide. - Yeah. - And then maybe to me, the most, go back to law school. - Okay, but like if you were to look at Matthew McConaughey, I think this shows a wonderful awareness of who Matthew McConaughey is as a person. Like if I wasn't doing this, probably like a fucking teacher - Or wildlife guys. - What are you doing? I can be like, or like a treasure hunter or a astronaut physicist. I thought you'd be more excited than the Lincoln lawyer. It was so close to being at actual reality. - This is what I'm saying. Is he has done quite a few movies where he has been a law guy? - Yes, sure. - My question is, was there a time when Matthew McConaughey was in law school that now would necessitate going back to-- - I mean, let's hope, right? - Yep. - Let's hope. - Back to the script. - All right, 18 months goes by. I really think I've done it. I'm out. I get this romantic action comedy. Comes with an $8 million offer. I read it, I passed. I say, "No, thank you." Comes back with a $10 million offer. I said, "No, thank you." Comes back with a $12 million offer. I said, "No, thank you." It comes back with a $14.5 million offer. I said, "Let me read that thing again." (laughing) Same words as the $8 million offer, but it was better. It was funnier. I could see myself in it. This could work, right? But I ultimately said, "No." - This fucking story, by the way, killed. I was like dying on the ground. - Oh, for sure. - We were talking about that fucking-- It was funnier. Fucking love Matthew McConaughey. Still in his element. Everyone else on stage. Still just kind of listening to Matthew McConaughey. - Yeah. - He could take, oh, sorry. Graham Norton just says something here. That must be so hard to say no to. - It was. But if saying no to it, I think sent a little invisible message to Hollywood. Oh, McConaughey is not bluffing. We were talking about not flinching. Yes, ask permission. Oh, he's playing offense. He's not just doing nothing. He's on to something and 20 months. Two months after I turned that down, the offer came in that I was looking for. And they came in in droves. It went killer Joe, mud, the true detective, Dallas Buyers, Magic Mike, that came in everything I was looking for. And I would not have, they would not have come in if I wouldn't have unbranded for that 20 months. Yes, all right. Now, Dwayne, you didn't have to unbrand. You had enough seem going. I can make whatever choice I want. And I'm going to make this thing happen over here. It was a time for me where I had to unbrand and it took 20 months. But then I was doing it and all of a sudden, my work was challenging the vitality of my life. I was like, there you go. Yeah, I know, absolutely. He puts a lot of, he throws a lot of like seasoning on the ends of his sentences, which I guess like he came up with to be like, yeah, today I went to the doctor and I got some routine lab work done. Yeah, all right, all right. It is his like, but he's like, he spends it a little bit just to give himself another half second to come up with like just the dopest stuff. Yeah, we don't have filler words. He's just happened to be fucking chill. Trademarked. Yeah, like unbelievable. Yeah, that's the idea that the rock would be like, but this is the moment that I got to see is like, the rock being like, I'm trying so hard to get the rock skirt. And there's like, nobody that could appreciate my journey. And then Matthew McConaughey's like, well, hold on one second. Hold on. I think about that story. Yeah, it keeps getting older. Yeah, I keep seeing myself in it. That is, I also, I want to point out. Guys, that was fucking great. Really, really, really unhinged. Really, truly, truly like peak outer space, fucking space alien shit. Outside of Matthew McConaughey on a talk show. If you're out at a party and just some random person, you're talking, and they jump in with this. The only response you will logically give is, okay. All right. So what I was saying was. I do think it's a little fucked how he says, you didn't have to unbrand the rock. You, you were a smashing machine already and the stars really aligned for you to that. I would say, hey, Matt McConaughey, why not just be in a really good rom-com? Well, you want to be pushed and challenged and get big awards for your work. Just be a super good rom-com that does that. That's it. This is what the rock, all the rock asked is, I would like to still play a wrestler. I just don't want to also wear a dress. Yeah. So I want to be a wrestler. I just also don't want to be the tooth fairy and have magic powers. Yeah, that's all I want. If I would like to be a big man that throws people around, but not work for Santa Claus, if that's possible. Yeah. Well, actually, I haven't seen the smashing machine. I don't know if for sure that that guy doesn't work for Santa Claus. This is a smashing machine? Yeah. He does. It's not brought up in the trailers, but you can't show everything. I don't think the safeties would pedal in such low brow mean stream ideas. Should we do a question on our advice show? I'd love to. Yeah, in our storytelling world, you can't control box office results. But what I realize, you can't control is your performance and your commitment to completely disappear and go elsewhere. And I will always run to that opportunity. It was my honor to transform in this role from my director, Benny Sadfi. Thank you, brother, for believing in me. Truth is this film has changed my life with deep gratitude, respect, and radical empathy. DJ. Can I also point out just in that another theme? Yeah, a clear theme is he wants that rock score. Another clear theme is this. He doesn't think this movie is going to do well at the box office. Travis, that is settled. Almost guaranteed. It's Travis, that is settled. It looks to lose between 10 to 15 million dollars. Yeah. Now, the question you're asking yourself is how many little gold statues can you fuck with that money well? Well, we shall see, I suppose. We shall see. Well, perhaps the last time I'd feel great when one's going home with Oscar Gold. I can't fucking-- I can't-- I have for the rock score. I can't care this much about the results of an Oscar. I can't have that hanging over me. I can't be watching the Oscars fucking scared that it won't happen. I can't-- That assumes that you are-- That assumes there's going to be a period between the nominations and the awards where you're still wondering if the rock will be winning it or not. So I hope you're right. I hope you're right. I would love for just a nod. The nod would be a huge-- The nod would be huge, but I-- It's not the same. You can also live in the comfort griffin of knowing that because we live in a multiverse, no matter what happens, there is a university exists somewhere where the rock maybe wins all of the Oscars that night. That's true. Anything's-- Yeah. But Travis did that. What you're saying, though, is in that-- in some reality, the rock is winning an AVN award for the smushing machine. Like, you could apply that to any-- I didn't say I said all the Oscars. Well, yes, Justin. Justin, yeah. The rock could not be the rock, but instead, like a Hyundai Sonata that you can drive around in. Like, it's-- And a nearly infinite multiverse perhaps infinite. And if you put an Apple in a box forever, eventually it'll turn it to an iPhone. That's-- Saw that on YouTube, guys. Huh. A rock can either be created or destroyed. Man, we got to do a question at some point, but if you put an Apple in a box forever, eventually it'll take every form of matter and be everything, all it could possibly become, including an iPhone. What I said wasn't any different from what you said. Now, hold on, because I also want to point out that driven that implies it could happen right away. No, it'll take a minute. So there has to be a set amount of time. You can't just say forever. There's got to be a set amount of time between an Apple and an iPhone that you don't need to check the box. If you put-- If you put all the Apple particles in the box, they'll dissolve and turn into different particles. And they'll bounce off each other, turn it into anything and be any form of matter imaginable in this-- That's a great box. It's a pretty kick-ass box that can-- You can put anything in it, and it'll be in an iPhone-- Forever? 600 trillion years? No, for like a little bit. What are you making a box out of that's lasting forever? Can we do a question? Yeah. My friend's grandma makes cool quilts, and I don't want to get one of them. Problem is a never-matter grandma. And I can't think of a not-rood way to ask my friend to ask her grandma to make me a quilt. My birthday is in a couple months. How can I suddenly hint to my friend that to get me a quilt from her grandma and to make her think it was her idea? That's from quizzical quilt, laundry, and queens. Well, it's a heck of a thing to ask someone's grandma. It's like the quilt is like the gift of the grandma. Do you know what I mean? I have my one-- I got a quilt from my granny, and I got one. And I don't use it ever because it's something happened to it. I would be heartbroken, but that's my one I got. That's his one he got. That's my one. More importantly, he didn't have to reach out to Granny on Etsy to get her to make it for him. It was just a sort of gift of the grandmother. I do love the idea of just sitting there and being like, hey, your grandma made this kick ass quilt. How much does she charge for quilts? Yeah. How much do you think raw materials plus labor for your grandmother? If I give her a bunch of old fabric things that mean a lot to me, will she make me one? Here's a box with a hundred t-shirts in it. Here's a box. with a hundred apples in it. How long before it turns into a quilt from your grandma? - It'll turn into a hundred quilts Travis. It could turn into anything. - No, if there's more apples in the box, you didn't have it faster. - So-- - You could do a two six with more in this scenario would be a good thing. - That's so many situations. - If you go to your grandma, if you sit, go to your friend, you say, "Hey, I heard your grandma will be passing away soon." - Wait, why would you say that? - I would love to see you just being statistically. I would just love to spend some time with her before she passes away. And I would just love it if she could teach me how to live by showing me how to die. If your grandma could do that. - And maybe how to quilt. - And that's what they said. - And the guy says that in Tuesdays and Tuesdays. - I don't want to learn how to quilt. This person's pretty clear about that. They don't want a hobby. They want a quilt. - My favorite part of Tuesdays and more is when more is like, I'm about to, I'm fixing to die. But first, I'll teach you how to lose. - Yeah, that is what it is. I mean, that is what it is, is what it is. - But it says on the jacket, you know, it's it, that is. - Yeah, but the guy doesn't go to Mori and say, "Hey, you're looking not so great before you go." And Mori's like, "What the fuck, what are you talking about?" - Yeah. - Is that what happens in the book? - Yeah, man, it's like very much about that. - Well, you know what you're saying about that? - Yeah, dude. That's why it was so sad and everybody was so horny for it. 'Cause it was such a huge bummer. - You're hanging out with Mori and his dog, Marley. And you're like, "Hey, you two look like you're gonna die soon." - Marley and me is another, it's the exact same premise. Yeah, it's the exact same premise as this is Mori. - Yeah, but with a dog. I, you're this fuck, I don't, if you want a quilt, I'm sure you can, there are quilt artists in your area that you could contract to do this. What is it about these grandma's quilt? Is it because it would be presumably gratis? If that's, it sounds like it's a real dank quilt. - Maybe it's a really dank quilt, but it's, that's grandma's gift, guys. - It's a gift of a grandma. Are you willing to put in the work? - Yeah. - You know what I mean? Because grandma means like, you gotta take the calls. You gotta put in the phone calls. You gotta buy the, you know, you gotta buy the frame. You gotta buy the or a frame. You gotta do it. You gotta put it in. And not just until you get the quilt. She'll repossess that shit. - She'll show up. - She will take your quilt back. - What? - No, she won't. - If you stop taking the calls? - She'll show up and take the quilt, yeah. - No, the quilt has got, if the grandma gives away the quilt, (laughing) if the grandma gives away the quilt too early, that's not grandma. - You know, you gotta buy it. - Why buy the grandma if you can get the quilt for free? Am I right? - Right, right. - Thank you for saying it, Drev. - Thank you, we're all thinking it. - I bet she would be, I bet you get burned like that with one grand kid. - You're not gonna let that shit fly with another one. - You'll know, you'll know the rest of it. - You wanna what now? - Oh, so you can fucking bail? 'Cause we're supposed to go to Bonarue. - I'll add one square for every Bonarue you take me to. - Fucking, that's good. That's good. - What about bumper seats? - Every, every square year. - No, fucking Bonarue only. - Bonarue, I don't wanna go. - Bonarue the flottest Juness son. - This is, that would be a sick, a grip man is three squares. - It's a system, it's a bargaining system. It's like, if you take me to lunch, that's like one quarter of a square. - Yeah, absolutely. - And I'll maybe put like a one small sandwich or something in there, but like, if it's a really good dinner, I might do a bigger steak in there, and I'll take a more of a quilt. It's like a bigger square. - If we just see a movie together and it turns out I don't like it, I'll just make a square away. - Yeah. - Unstitch it. - Better research that show. - No, if it is stitched, if it's a stitched movie, then I'll put double, 'cause I love Stitch. - I love Stitch. - So much, I'll just get in the mood for it. - But I'll put like four stitch squares, whether you like Stitch or not. - And sometimes you'll just be talking. If you say some dope shit, like, grandma, you might be dying so I can learn how to live. I'll smile and I'll put a square in right there. So you know, that was dope. That was great. - It's a shame. - That'd be sick if grandma's like, I'm gonna make you a quilt, but it's gonna all be Stitch. Because I love Stitch. - Yeah. Why do you think I got into sewing? - Oh, damn, that would be so brutal. If you're like, yeah, I'll make a quilt for your friend. - You chose up, it's just all Stitch. But it's like-- - It's your friend's Stitch. - It's a Stitch Wifew Blanket. - Yeah. What's that Travis? - I don't know what a Blanket is. - I'd rather not talk about it. - I know what a pillow is, but a blanket. Like it's a, it's a quilt with like a sexy bikini stitch on it that you would wrap yourself up into feel love. - In quilt form? - Yeah. - My understanding is that those were usually, that's usually the domain of pillows, because then there's a depth to it. - That's why they can only get it from this grandma. She's the only person making white boots. - She's the only one making Lude Quilts. Lude Stitch memorabilia. - It doesn't have to be Lude Griffin, it could be beautiful. - Okay. - Okay, beautiful. - Hey, let's have the money, son. - Spread it, you old. (laughing) - I'm sorry? - You didn't have to. The door was right there. (upbeat music) - It's better, it's better with you. - When you're feeding yourself, there are so many factors to consider. - Oh. - How much time you've got. - What ingredients do you have in the home? - If you're deaf and you're about to realize this. - Chat, you're about to realize this? Travis just set up a fucking banger with that. Because the company were doing his factor, you're gonna be like, "God damn it." - Good one, Travis. - I'm just trying to strike that from the record. - Then I'm hyping you? - No, but you said the reveal. - Well, that's only so they know when you hit it later that they're gonna be like totally amped, 'cause they'll know what to do. - But I was just about to hit it. - Okay, well go ahead, you're the one holding it up now. I'm sitting here waiting, watching. - The one factor you don't have to worry about is factor meals because they. - What did I tell you, folks? He's done it again. - With factor you can choose from a wide variety of meal options, including premium seafood choices, like salmon and shrimp, but no extra cost. - If you sound sad while talking about the incredible salmon and shrimp, - For the first time. - Try Asian-inspired meals with bold flavors influenced by China-Tineland and more with factor. - Fat and middle, a middle ground. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Factor's great. How's that? - That's really good. - I love the variety of options. I love knowing it's there for me. - Like this week, just this week, I'll give you an example. Here's a ready-made meal, two minutes, you can be eating pepper fondue shredded chicken. - What? - How about some sweet potato grits and sage chicken? - Ah! - Oh, shit, that sounds amazing. - Oh my, if I did, it sounds great. Like, it's made by actual, you know, actual people that actually care about what the food tastes like. - This isn't AI food. - No, what? - This is real human food for real people. - So, eat startupfactormeals.com/brother50off and use code brother50off. B-R-O-T-H-E-R-5-0-O-FF to get 50% off your first box. Plus, free breakfast for one year. That's code [email protected] for 50% off your first box. Get delicious, ready to eat meals delivered with factor. Offer only valid for new factor customers with code and qualifying auto-renewing subscription purchase. Oh, what a bunch. Squat, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I want to munch, squat, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. - We'll try to stop cross stitching. - I'm not cross stitching, I'm sewing leather. - We're plugged in now, dude. This thing, that was how it's getting plugged in. - Thanks. I was mid-stitch. You have to understand. Gryffin, do you watch Love Island stitch blanket? No, I watch Love Island is weirdly the only one of those that I don't watch. - I love islands, son of a gun. This is going to be tough. You guys are going to have to help me decode this and we're just going to do a little guesswork here, maybe a little quick googling. - I watched so many shows like Love Island. I think I could probably-- - I just wanted to tell you Gryffin that Sweet Green launches new Ranchy Betty Bowl in partnership with Love Island reality TV stars. - Ranchy Betty Bowl? - Ranchy Betty. - Ranchy Betty Bowl on the heels of Sweet Green's Viral Fall campaign featuring Nick Van Steenberg. Nickelondria Nation fans, now that Nickelondria is nation is the name of the fans of the pairing of Nick Van Steenberg and O'Londria Carthon. - Okay. - Okay. - So. - It's not a good word, man. - They're very famous together. - Thank you Travis, yes. - So they're very famous and loved couple from Love Island. So Sweet, to answer the question of where's O'Londria, Sweet Green responded with a co-created collab bowl that says extra and iconic as this breakout couple themselves. The Ranchy Betty Bowl is the perfect mix of heat and crunch and is available for a limited time at participating locations nationwide starting October 6th. - Can I tell you Justin so far in this press release? - I don't know what food is contained within the Ranchy Betty Bowl. - That's okay, you don't need to know that shit. I'm looking at Mr. Nick. close fan's team bird right now, and he looks so much like James Marsden, it's kind of crazy. - It's kind of-- - I think I'm gonna, I'm gonna make a prequel show called "Like Isthmus." - Yeah, and if you do well on "Like Isthmus," the neutral-- - The neutral-- - You start at neutral peninsula. - Yes. - You have to climb your way there from minor sort of dislike delta. - But can you escape, hatred gov? - Everyone's fighting in hatred gov. - You get bumped back down too, you fuck up. - You gotta fight your way out of hatred gov. - The whole time you're out of hatred gov, it's like so weird 'cause you're like, I thought this was the beach that makes you old. I thought this was old beach. It's hate gov. That's a different old beaches across the pond. - Yeah, and unlike "Isthmus," you're a fair to make friends. - The ball-- - The ball, they make friends, yeah. - The ball features kale, white rice, black and chicken, shredded cabbage, tortilla chips, sweet potatoes, jammy tomatoes, and crispy onions. - More shit. - There's four-- - There's four things in here that would run right through me and I would say-- - You have driven it in sweet, spicy, and a little chaotic. - Yeah. - And all the right ways to make sure everyone's heads turn. - This drop celebrates how sweet, green, and nickel-and-dry a nation come together around food that tastes amazing and feels even better to eat. - Oh, bold. A bold-- hey, this is for all those people out there who don't like shitty, gross food. - Listen to this one, Trent, listen. Alondria and Nick are rallying, nickel-and-dry a nation to help make the ranchy-battie bowl the top seller at sweet green. - I should hope so. - Yeah, I would hope they'd be putting their back into it, man. - Yeah, but are you supposed to say that? Like, I don't think you're supposed to say that in it. I don't think you're supposed to say, like-- - In the commercial, we're trying, really. We're getting it all-- - We're trying to-- - You can throw them away if you don't want it. Just buy 'em. - Just buy 'em. - Please, it helps us. - I wish I could go back later and be like, "Hey, was there a nickel-and-dry a nation?" Did it, did it, did it, they coming to buy your salad? I'd be very interested in that. - I mean, they bought that nation, that's for sure. - Sweet green has always been about green. - Sweet green, if you want to reach out to me with a travel nation salad-- - He's right there. - I famously ate salad for many days in a row. Famously. - It's true. - It's all anyone ever talks about. - Yeah. Sweet green has always been about listening. - Thank you for asking, Justin. What would be in my salad? - Yeah, I was actually dying to know. - Thank you. Thank you for asking, peanut butter M&M's. - Crazy, fucking awful. - That's awesome. - You know that the disappointed, sort of like, lean back drink look doesn't work as good when you are drinking from a Disney on iceman. - It's not for you, God damn. I just wanted to enjoy some of my protein coffee. - Yeah. - In peace. - But you're doing it out of a big child's cup. I will say. - That's the only way I have room to mix the whole coffee and the protein drink. - It is not for M&M's in a chocolate milkshake, but in a bowl. - Yeah. - It's so no leaves. - Sweet green is always good. - No green. - No green just from a plant, Griffin. - Welcome to Sweet, I'm Travis. - Here's my sweet bowl. - Fans want a Nikolandria and we're excited to deliver a bowl that changes for a bowl. - Gummy bears too. - All right, finish. - 'Cause in that cold milkshake-- - Travis, I'm done. - I'm done with the interruptions. Now I need to know more about this bowl, so I have more to joke about. - Fans want a Nikolandria and we're excited. We're excited to deliver a bowl that channels their bold energy while staying true to our ethos. - Proper food that's fresh, flavorful, and rooted in real ingredients from farmers and partners we know and trust. - There's an editor that went over this that saw the usage of the words bowl and bold, one word apart, and we're like, that feels like something we should cut, but then they remembered what they were editing and they're like, oh, fuck, what am I doing? - What do I mean, time for it? - How would you guys feel if someone could sum up your personal ethos? - With a ranchy baddie bowl? - With a ranchy baddie bowl salad. - Pretty fucking good. Honestly, it would probably save me a lot in therapy and a lot of the work that I have to do would be way easier if I had a self-reflecting style. - Oh, you want to get to know what I'm all about? Just eat this salad. - Eat this salad, then you know. - I was aware I'm trying to keep my spirits up. - Guys, we're like, well, hold on. Let me just, working with sweet green on the ranchy baddie bowl has been such a fun ride. - Said Nick Van Steenberg. We loved creating something together that we can't wait for the fans to try. - I don't think that's what his voice was. He's so handsome. I do not think his voice would sound like that. - The fans asked and sweet green delivered, said, "Olaundria Carthon." Getting to create this both, Nick has been such a blast. The ranchy baddie bowl is spicy, playful, and packed with personality. And we can't wait for everyone to taste it. I just feel like you should, this is me now. I just feel like you should be able to go into a fucking salad store without having to know the neologism that Instagram has cooked up for the celebrity couple, do you sure? Like, can I, do you want a ranchy baddie bowl? What the fuck are you talking about? We made it with Nick Alondria Nation. Go, stop. - Yeah. - I'm going to McDonald's. - Give me that bowl of peanut butter and mint and some of the milkshake. - What is BTS want me to have? - I mean, you could say I'm going to McDonald's, but sometimes McDonald's would be like, do you want a BTS is having? They will explicitly be like sometimes. - I know. - I'm complaining about McDonald's too. I shouldn't have to know who someone is. They, they should, if you're gonna, if you're gonna do a food, if you're gonna do a food deal with someone, they should be famous for doing food properly. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Kitty Rogers Roasters is where we went wrong. Why didn't anybody listen to him about chicken? - Start there. - He did the gambler and islands in the stream, you know? - Yeah. - Absolutely. - And Michael Richards spaghetti factory. - Got to. Did you guys know that that was the first two words of spaghetti factory before they put some distance between themselves and Mr. Richards? Did you know that, Lister? - It's true. That man loves spaghetti and, man making it and making it and really going off the chains with some really, really racist, really, really, really sweet food. - My brother used to host a podcast about reality dating shows. - Sure. - And if he doesn't know. - They don't know. - Then why are you doing an entire salad about it? It makes me so angry. - Yeah. - I mean, I, I still probably wouldn't have followed it. Just sweet green sort of works in sort of food materials that I don't, that my body sort of does reject via osmosis if I, if I go find overindulge. - I imagine you had another question. Recently my question, my husband and I were at a restaurant and I overheard another couple talking about the other types of cuisine they enjoy. They described a few dishes that my husband and I knew, but they couldn't remember the name of. We both really wanted to tell them the dish names but felt too awkward cutting into a private conversation. Is there a graceful way to cut into a conversation with vital information that the other party so desperately needs without seeming like an ease dropping creep. That's from Holly Pruitt, Georgia. - Okay, just straight up and down. I think quick, quick one. No. - No. - No. - It's like, we have a whole thing about that. - No, okay, now hold on. Here he goes. - Here's my question for you guys. - Is this why they included 'cause you knew that you were gonna have the nasty boy argument for it? - No, no, no, yes. - So my question is, is there a level of private conversation noise level in public where it becomes a public conversation by default? If you're talking about it loudly enough that I'm a table over and I know exactly what you're talking about, I don't think that's a private conversation. - Let me am. - I'm an incredible observer of the human condition. Go ahead. - The idea that I wouldn't perceive everything going on when you with perfect clarity is truly, truly unhinged. Of course, I'm seeing everything. It's courtesy that I'm acting like I'm not absorbing the entirety of the world around me at all times. 'Cause you don't want that pressure. You don't want the, we all know when we're out of the restaurant that everyone is listening to everything that we are saying, but we don't need the pressure of them confirming that for us. - Okay. - I was at, Rachel and I went to a Dim Sum, Michelin star Dim Sum restaurant in Hong Kong. And we got in there and it was just, it was just long lunch table seating. It was just long, unbroken lunch table seating. And we were, you know, elbows to asses with people, dining next to each other across from just absolute strangers. And even then Travis, I do not think it's okay to be like, "Uh, I think you mean. "Cachio Pippe." - I don't think you're allowed to do that. I don't think you can. - Is there a level of frustration that people talking about it reach and not being able to think of it at which point you are doing a service? So welcome that you won't be shunned for it. - No. - Okay, no. - I don't think there's any daylight here, man. - I don't think there's anything-- - The only time, the only time, I will sometimes, here's what I will say, the only move where you can maybe get in there. - Yeah. - Is sometimes I will be having a conversation with someone and I will realize that I have said something so loudly, unintentionally, that it has become a more public conversation. And then in that boy, I might try to throw out like a, I meant to do this the entire time, kind of like, "Write everybody!" You know what I mean? I was actually trying to bring us all in. I wasn't. I just start yelling for no reason. But if they're trying to play that off, then maybe you can slide in with like, actually. - You were also robbing them of that great moment. Like, 30 minutes later, or on the drive home, where one of them just immediate like, It clicks, finally, and they're like, "Cut you, Pepe." And then you laugh, and they. kiss and they fall because of that moment. They really wanted the answer. They would Google it, right? Isn't that the implication? Yeah. Yeah. If you do that to me, I will assume you just Googled it faster than I did. Probably using some wasteful AI. And then I'm going to say. Sorry, my mid-journey glasses still mean that you wanted me to say "catch you a pipé." I'm not even sure what that meant, but I got a prop that said, "Go say "catch you a pipé" to those people. So I'm just going to be able to say that. My meta-oracles actually heard you before you said out loud what you were saying and "catch you a pipé." "Catch you a pipé." The spec says, "Zuckerberg asked me to come ask you to review this place on Google Maps if you wouldn't mind. Thank you." Are they always watching? They're glasses. - Do you want me to close my eyes? - I can close my eyes, but there's cover 'em. - Good. - I guess I just think we're a little too disconnected - Absolutely, we are. - Fully Travis 100%. - Yeah. - We're not gonna start building bridges by correcting each other at rest. - Yeah, but like Travis, you're 100% right? But if you all covered him, be like, "Catch your baby." The person at the table is not gonna be like, "Yes, it starts here." - You better be like, "Embrace me." - Maybe you guys take me in your arms. - Because I've done this before and I am a welcome addition to any table and friend group. - You don't love it when I help them remember the names of Quiseas that they like. - I, that's possible. - That's possible. I think it's possible. I think maybe 30% of people will receive that and they'll like it. So maybe you've just gotten kind of lucky. - Yeah, and I will also say Travis, there's a big difference between getting corrected and getting corrected by a world famous podcaster. - That's true. Like, of course they're gonna be a little excited. - That is true, 'cause usually when I'm like, is it catchy, Peppy? - Hi, I'm Travis. (laughs) I'm talking about my brother. - I got a little glitter on your shoulder. - Hi, I'm Travis Zachary. - I'm gonna actually, there's a definitive answer to this that we have not even considered yet. and it is abs of fucking lootly know, because what if you're wrong? - Oh, shit. - Can you fucking imagine you walk over there? - Oh, it wasn't it. - They're like, what was that dish? It was like a noodles with a white chocolate roll up, like caccioli pepe, and they're like, no, fetichini, Alfredo, actually, we were thinking of, it's crazy, I couldn't remember the name of that. - You being such a turd reminded us of the right answer. We hate you. Please. Our last shows of the 20th Thunder Drive tour. We're going to be doing the 50th TAS live. That's wild. We're going to be going back to balance for this show. We're going to have Erica Ishi as a special guest and a Griffin McAroy will be geaming that. If you're coming to a movie, I'm showing you got a question you want answered or if you want read aloud, email that [email protected]. Put your city in the subject line. Where info and ticket links are available at bit.ly/maclaraytours. But here's the exciting news. It's not our last show of the year. No, it's on wide and thin. Yeah. Because it was the last show of our 20th Thunder Drive tour. Yeah. I think it was the last show of the year. No way. Because this year for candlelights, we're going back to Huntington doing a live show. But you can still join us even if you can't make the trip in person because we're doing the in-person show December 6th at 7 p.m. tickets on sale this Friday, October 17th at 12 p.m. Eastern time, which includes the virtual stream ticket because we will be streaming a digital premiere of the recording the show with bonus behind the scenes footage, all kinds of stuff. That premier's on December 19th at 9 p.m. Eastern time will be in the chat for the premiere. And there will be video on demand access through January 3rd. Bits are available now and all proceeds from the show will be donated to Harmony House, which seeks to end homelessness in the Huntington area through permanent housing and supportive service programs. Tickets for both events are available at bit.ly/candlemites205, that's bit.ly/candlemites2025. It's going to be very fun. We've been really, we've been working on it and coming up with some ideas that I'm just fucking stoked about. I'm also stoked about Montana for letting us use the theme song "My Life Is Better With You." It really is a great album, one of my faves of the year getting a lot of rotation on my devices. Hey, also we have merch over at macroomrich.com, so you should go check out. Do we have a fear? We do. Tell it to me. Griffin, why don't you read it? I didn't mean it. This year I'm going to be faster than my fear of the ceiling fan being at max speed. It's just a macaroid. I'm Travis Macaroid. I'm Griffin Macaroid. It's been my brother, my brother. Make his, your dad square on the lips. It's better with you. My life. It's better. It's better. It's better. My life. It's better. It's better. It's better. This is true. It's better. It's better. It's better. My life. It's better with you.