May 7, 2019 • Paul Bergin - Overcoming The Subtlety Of Shame

[Music] You are chosen people. A royal priesthood. [Music] But you made it clear the praises of him who called you into wonderful light. [Music] Since we are surrounded by such a great crowd of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders. [Music] Let us run with perseverance, the grace knocked out fast. [Music] The Belonging Co-Comprints 2019, Saints and Comrades, September 12-14, EarlyBurt registration is still available as well as groups, student, youth and kids discounts. For a list of speakers, master classes, leadership, co-information, hotels and more, click on the link in the show notes or visit tvco-comprints.com. I will build my church and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. [Music] This is the Belonging Co podcast. For a list of messages to stream live services and for updates about events and more info, check out the tvco mobile app or visit thebelonging.co. Thanks for checking out the podcast. Here's today's message. If you got your Barbos, you can turn to the book of John and the second chapter. I want to read some truth tonight. Are you ready for some truth? Yeah. I've got a lot of hair on me. It's probably because I've got a lot of hair. [Music] Second chapter of the gospel of John, my favorite gospel. It is a beautiful gospel. And really, when you read John, you should read that it is a recreation story. It is retelling Genesis. And it is retelling what Christ is about to do on the cross. It is what they term recapitulation. It is redeeming of that which was lost in the garden. And you can travel through days and there's layers upon layers within first few chapters of John. And it says, on the third day, there was a wedding in Kena or Kena of Galilee. And the mother of Jesus was there. There's so much in that sentence. And the third day, the third day, is a day where Genesis describes a double blessing. He blessed creation twice for the waters. He called seas and gathered them up and created the dry land. And every tree that fed fruit and seed, he said it was good and it was good. And if you go to Israel today on the third day, which is a Tuesday, they have weddings on Monday night because in the Jewish calendar, the day is when sundown occurs. There's a lot to that. You see, we in our Gregorian calendars, are day starts in the morning, but for a Jew, the Jew, the day starts when the sun goes down. We have light to darkness. But in God's kingdom, it's darkness for light. In God's kingdom, we have an outking strength to witness, but in God, it's witness to strength. It starts with darkness in God's kingdom, but it ends in light, just like the days. And it's on the third day. And the third day is a day of resurrection. My wife told me that we actually got married on a Tuesday. I didn't know that. I should know that. I forgot. I'm sorry if you're watching down from home. I find out by. I find out tomorrow if I'm having a boy or a girl. [Applause] And the mother of Jesus was there. The Kena, Kena means zealous, possession, passion. You can tell where this story is going. Jesus' mother represents the church in this fashion. And now both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding. This is the first miracle of Jesus and it is at a wedding. And when they ran out of wine, the mother of Jesus said to him, "They have no wine." This is a big deal. Wine in the Bible represents joy. In essence, the Scriptures say they ran out of joy. Wine in the Bible is actually what the Jews referred to. Torah is sweet as wine. It's influential as wine. The first five books was noted and described as wine. And Mary says to his son, Jesus, they have no wine. You need to know the context of this. This is not just, "Oh, we ran out of drinks. Oh, we ran out of food at the wedding. No, this is a big deal." To run out of wine is one of the most shameful things that can happen at a wedding. In Bible times. So much so that if you ran out of wine, you would be shamed for your lifetime. Your family would be shamed. Your children would be shamed. And your children's children would be shamed in the community forever if you ran out of wine. If you ran out of wine, you had legal grounds to claim damages as a family. You had legal grounds to unknow the marriage. That's how severe it is to run out of wine. You don't want to run out of wine on your wedding day in Jewish times. And given the fact that their weddings run for a few days, you better have some wine in the cupboards. If you invited a friend to your wedding, they would desire or expect the reciprocal hospitality to them and their family. And if you didn't provide that, you were shamed. And the person looking after the wedding would never host a wedding ever again. You can see now it's getting a little bit more serious at this wedding. And Jesus said to her, "Woman, what does your concern have to do with me?" "I don't advise saying that to your mum today." "I'll clean up your room, Johnny." "Mother, what does your concern have to do with me?" Jesus doesn't say it in a hostile fashion. He's pointing to something very significant. And the next line gives you a clue as to what the story is about. He says, "My hour has not yet come." He's gone from nothing no wine to talking about. His hour has not yet come. Jesus is all about the ultimate glory in which he will be revealed. Jesus is trying to present the macro picture as well as describe the micro. He's trying to say that my hour in which I would die upon a cross has not yet come. Why are you concerned about this right now? And why does this concern me? This is about the story of the consummation, the end of the age. This is more than a story about a wedding. It has a macro and a micro level. And his mother said to the servants, "Whatever he says to you, do it." That's some truth right there. He said, "I don't know what I'm going to do." I'm going to say, "I'm going to say, do it." I'm going to say, "I'm going to say, do it." I'm going to say, "I'm going to say, do it." I'm going to say, do it. I'm going to say, do it. And when you see wine, you should also think about the spirit being poured out. Believe whatever he says, you shall do it. And now they will set themselves six water pots of stone. Six water pots, scholars say that this wedding happened six days after the day that Jesus was declared the Son of God, the Lamb of God that would take away the sins of the world. And the number six is the number of man, the number of humanity. So it gives us insight that God is doing something with humanity in this story. These water pots are massive, 150 gallons on average today. would hold. That's a lot of water. Jesus says, "Get six." Wow. Some scholars say that this would equate in a minute. Jesus said to them, "Fill the water pots with water and they fill them up to the brim." And he said to them, "Draw some out now and take it to the master of the feast." And they took it when the master of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine and did not know where it came from, but the servants who had drawn the water knew the master of the feast called the bridegroom. Jesus has just created wine out of water, approximately 800 bottles of wine. I'm not advocating alcohol tonight. On any level, this is not what the message is about. But the story wants to, you know, that Jesus just didn't create enough wine for that wedding. He created so much wine that that could probably host many, many, many, many, many weddings. Because God isn't a stingy God. And God doesn't fill water pots halfway. And God doesn't do miracles halfway. God wants to show you that this is the outpouring of the Holy Spirit is about to take place. This is talking about Joel 228. This is talking about the new wine. This is talking about the new covenant. This is talking about the blood of Jesus that would be taken out of the purification water. And the water purification is the water which you cleanse yourself. As you walk into the house, you have to be of the hands and sometimes your body washed before you could even go in. It was the ritual Jewish purification. And so what he's saying, he's saying, I'm going to take the waters and going to purify my people. Why expecting new wine, turning into new wine, which represents my blood, which represents what I'm going to do on the cross. And I'm going to cleanse you from all sin, not just in this wedding, provide wine. I'm going to say you can enter into my new covenant forever and ever for those who believe in me. Give him some praise if you believe that. When the Master of the Feast tasted, so verse 10, he said to him, every man at the beginning sets out good wine. And when the guests have well drunk, then they bring out the inferior because you can't tell the difference when you drunk. You have kept the good wine until now. Oh, the latter is greater than the former. The latter is greater than the former. This is drenched. This is drenched in Joel 28. This is drenched in the Holy Spirit being poured out. This is drenched in meeting that place of glory. The place that Christ would be radiated in the place that we would return to our own image. When Christ, and he says this beginning of signs Jesus did in Cano of Galilee and manifested his glory and his disciples believed in him, just as they did in the Book of Acts, just as they did in Exodus. We have heard we will do we believe. This is layer upon layer upon layer. This is the last verse of the Holy Spirit. You see, I want to be vulnerable with you tonight on a level that I think will help some people experience the new wine. We're about hosting the presence of God. We long for the presence of God. We sing about it. But sometimes we don't experience that because we have areas in our lives and hearts and minds that suppress that in which the new wine was to flow in. I remember in grade five, take your back to high school and we all have these moments. I was a type of person that put so much pressure on myself to perform and perform well at a high standard in school. I think it made myself sick on many times. The pressure to keep a standard is the highest in academia, the highest in sports. I was always the first fastest runner. I'm not boasting. I'm just saying what it was. I was pretty good. I was always the top of the class and subjects. I did well at school. God blessed me in that way. But what that did is, sometimes as the years go on, you feel like you can't fail. You feel if you fail, somebody's going to call you out. You feel like if you make a mistake, you feel like if you dropped your guard, maybe people are going to be disappointed in you. Mum and Dad's going to be disappointed in you. They're not going to look at you in the same way or you lose some of your street cred. You know what I mean? I remember one time in a math class. I was so anxious and so overwhelmed that I felt my heart rate go skyrocketing. My palms were sweaty so much so that I actually wet my pants. Don't laugh. You can if you want. Science says that when you're under extreme stress and anxiety, your brain shuts off parts of your body, including your bladder. And that's what it does to preserve our lives from hurting ourselves. It kind of shuts down and focus itself on a very narrow way. And I remember I was drenched and I walked to the bathroom out of class all the way down the stairs in my mess. Never more humiliated and full of shame in my entire life. Has anyone got any of those childhood memories of just you don't even want to think about it. It just brings back like, I worked through that. I'm okay. I became a big boy. I got over it. But something so small can very much re-occur in different forms in our lives if we don't deal with it. You see God desires for us to know Him and every one of us desires to be known. At the core of our humaneness, our humanity, our human being that we desire to be known. Not just to know things, not just to know stuff. We desire to be known. People around us, our parents, educators, those we work with, those we look up to, we want people to know us. Not just in our successes, but we want people to know us in our mess and in our mud and in our failures. We want people to accept us in every which way, right? But we put up walls. We put up subconscious barriers that we will never let people in. And we will never truly show people what we like because people might find out who the real us is. What am I getting tonight? The title of my sermon is called a subtlety overcoming the subtlety of shame. Shame is the number one killer with suppressor of walking in joy. It's the number one thing that will stop you knowing the Holy Spirit and His presence which is a sign of joy. His presence is full of joy. You know you're going to be one happy person in heaven and you can be one happy person on earth as it is in heaven. If you have the joy of the Lord. So I just want to expose some of the enemy's plans tonight. So you can overcome this. You see shame attempts to attack the most secure people. I asked the counselor, what's the most common thing, the common denominator of people that come and visit you and talk to about your issues and problems and challenges and he said, oh that's easy. That would be shame. Shame is the root of so many causes. Shame, fear and pride. But shame is one of the most common things. You see we desire to be known in my little daughter who I talk about most sermons. She's two and she loves the dad and she'll sit on the couch. Da da, da da, da da, da da, da da. Until I get, until she has my attention and if she hasn't got my attention she would jump on me, jump in my face, this close and say, da da and go like this. And I'll go, oh what, Baba. And then she'll look at me like, I forgot what I was going to say. She just wants to know. She doesn't care really what the conversation is about. She wants to know if her daddy's knowing her. She wants to be known. You can see it in the innocence of a child. They want to know if they have a child. your attention, they want to know if they're loved and accepted in the moment of where they are. It's the shame tries to shape our stories and I want to show you this in the book of Genesis chapter 3 and verse 4, this is the story of Adam and Eve and the serpent. The serpent said to the woman, "You will not surely die, for God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be open." Look at this, this is what the next verse is and you will be like God. Stop there. When were they not like God? Knowing good and evil, you can leave the passage up to when were they not like God? Genesis 1, 26, God says, "Let us make man in our image. We are like God, we are not God, but we are like God. We are made in his image, amen? Are you out there, amen?" So you see how that enemy twists the truth. Essentially he says, "And implies, you shouldn't touch this fruit. So perhaps then God is hiding something from you and God doesn't want you to be something because he's saying you shouldn't have this fruit. He's implying that maybe you're something not that you think that you are or maybe you are less than what you think you are. What is he implying? He's implying that you are not enough because he's implying that you need something else. You need to be like God. And all of a sudden Eve has entertained an idol. Eve has entertained an image and behind every image resides a demonic spirit. You have violated the first commandment anytime you turn outside of God for something. Are you with me?" I listened to a Catholic priest talk about demonology and exorcism, quite random, quite profound in many ways. He talked about Jesus, it was okay. And he said, "The enemy has never changed his tricks over the years. In all his dealings with people who are oppressed and possessed, he plays the same cards over and over and over again. And one of those cards is shame." He spends most of his time dealing with the territory that people have given the demonic. I don't know why I'm talking about this. What exes, what right do you have to be here? Well, I'm unforgiveness in my heart. Johnny holds unforgiveness. He's never got over it since he's father left and he's still a holder today. He's bitter. He's twisted. He's angry. That's the right I have to be here. It was quite interesting. He says, "The enemy always has the same cards to play. That's because the devil cannot create. God is the creator. The devil just has to manipulate the truth that's already created. And so he has to deceive people. And at that deception, he is basically saying that you are not good enough." Now, years ago, "Well, I'm pretty good. I've got a good marriage, good income, good house, good job. I live in Franklin. God, I'm not just talking about these huge maybe addictions or maybe you've done this great sin. I'm talking about the subtlety of shame that we put up keeping up appearances all the time." It's a show called Keeping Up Appearances is about a lady who's trying to perform to her neighbors that she has got it all together, but she's got these relatives that are no really pretty. They're quite slow socioeconomic status to say, to describe it one way. She's ashamed of them and she's trying to keep up appearances with all neighbors that she's got it together because they're all wealthy and rich and she thinks they've got it all together. It's hilarious. But we do that all the time. We try and cover our own backs. I'm normally good. I'm normally better than that. I can do a good job. I don't want to fail or in business, you know? It's like, I can't be seen to not perform or the deal don't go through because my whole life's going to fall apart. It's subtle. It's subtle. It's so subtle and at the root of it, we're trying to protect our backs because we don't want people to think that we are anything less than we say or appear. This is speaking some truth to somebody tonight. Genesis 3, 8 goes and they heard the sound of Lord walking in the garden, the call of the day and the man and his wife hid themselves. This is what shame does. It hides you. It hides you. It isolates you and what is hell? Hell is isolation. The definition of isolation is hell because it is not good that man should be alone. So you compartmentalize your life and you can hide it and tuck it away. A net left never let anyone in and never let your spouse in. We'll never have that conversation. We'll never go there because shame keeps it in the corner. The last thing you do when you are separate from God, the last thing you do when you have something in your heart that is not in the light is you don't want to worship you and you don't want to pray. You don't want to go to church. You don't want to come together. You don't want to go to a men's camp where you don't know anyone that's awkward and people are passionate and worshiping God because the enemy says that you are not enough. You too are shames and that's a lie from the pit of hell that is trying to rob you from the joy of the Lord. That's why forgiveness is so powerful. Shame pushes, shame isolates, but forgiveness brings in. Forgiveness includes, forgiveness doesn't make sense to the enemy because the enemy knows, hang on, you should be, you should be ostracized. You shouldn't have to include, you shouldn't have to bring, the forgiveness is the antithesis of shame it brings in. It is merciful, it is gracious and it is what Jesus has done for us and it says in verse 13 that in the Lord God said to the woman, what is this that you have done? The woman said the serpent deceived me. I got deceived in the thinking that I needed something else. I got deceived in thinking that I am not good enough. If you're a mother here today and you know Jesus, you are good enough. If you're a father here today and you're single raising your kids, you are good enough. If you're a student here today and you know I've had the best grades, the most intelligence or the most gifted person, but I tell you if you have Christ you are enough. Because without him none of us are enough. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, but because of Christ and in Christ and because of his blood he turns water into wine and we can enter into a new covenant that is complete that overflows, it's full to the brim and it's more than enough and you are more than enough. Somebody needs to hear this tonight. Somebody online needs to hear that you are more than enough in Christ. In fact the Bible says that you are more than overcomers. You must be aware of these areas if you're alive, they are trying to isolate, they are trying to hide, they are trying to suppress the flow and the power of the Holy Spirit because first Timothy 3 says that we should hold the mystery of the faith with a pure conscience. The mystery of the faith has been revealed in Jesus Christ and what he's done on the cross and hold it with a pure conscience and that's the level that the enemy works at. In your conscience can never go there, can never say that, I can never be vulnerable. You say how do I get out of this? How do I experience the glory of God? Every bit of your conscience that is affected by shame or sin in general, you don't lose your salvation but the power of God is suppressed. And I don't know about you but I want every bit of power of God flowing through me. I was in a university class 20 years ago, it hurts just to say that. And I'm in the back row and there's probably eight or so rows in front of me. And this guy I am shocked to see is watching a pornographic film in class with all these other students around him. He's just watching pornography. And I can see it to my left. Now already the enemy is trying to make me feel shame. You see this is how shame works. Shame is not just what happens after you eat the apple. Shame is trying to shape your story to get you to eat the apple. Shame is saying, that's filthy. How dare you look at that. Who are you? You call yourself a man I got. Look at you. You stutter. But then this is the thing. He tries to sever not only your conviction of the Holy Spirit with God, the sensitivity of conscience and your relationship with him trying to suppress the power that he knows can flow through you. He's trying to stop the relationships around you. Because then I feel this guy has got influence in the class. And if I speak up and say something, I'm going to get called out what we say in Australia, I don't want to be the Dibba Dober or the Tattle Teller or the Tatll Tale. I learned a new word, Tatll Tale. Tatll Teller. I was right. Sorry I was right. Let's go with Dibba Dober. You see how shame is trying to work to say, if you do that then you are going to be isolated. You're going to be cut off from the rest of your class. You're going to be the, "Oh, hi, and Marty, righteous guy." While people are feeling uncomfortable around you. And the professor is unaware of what's going on. You see how it works to cut unconscious level of relationship with God and cut off your relationships with one another. How do you overcome it? The way you overcome it. We need to, I think it was, talked about last week, a couple of weeks ago. The way forward is often the way back. We need to come back to the place that we are naked and unashamed. And that is the word vulnerability. The word vulnerability, it's ironic because the enemy wants you to be vulnerable because he says, "I'm going to exploit that." He doesn't want you to be vulnerable because he's going to exploit it, brother. He's trying to say, "Don't share your heart. Don't open yourself up again because if you do, this is what's going to happen. You're going to lose the life. The husband, the kids, your job. People are going to find out who you really are. People are going to find out that you're not that good. People are going to find out that you're little insecure. People are going to find out that you really haven't got it all together. People are going to find out you've been wearing a mask for so long. People are going to find out you've been keeping up appearances. People are going to find out that you are not enough. That's what the devil wants you to do. But the way through to the grace of God is actually the way that you got into and that is to be vulnerable again. You have to be vulnerability is the way through to Christ. But it's the last thing that you want to do because you think you associate it with hurt and pain and isolation. Ever you can come. I think I'm done. Jesus says after they sin, what does He say? He doesn't condemn them. He doesn't say, "Look, I'm after you right now. I'm going to punish you." You did this. How dare you? I'm your father. No, He asked them a question and He says, "Where are you?" Where are you? He assumes that their state of vulnerability is in order. He assumes that they're in the same place that He last left them. He doesn't know where they're in the garden. He knows. He's gone. He knows everything. He assumes and gives them an invitation to come back to that place of relationship and intimacy and vulnerability like they first were. And He doesn't dismiss their sin by the very nature of the question, "Where are you?" A Holy Spirit, the Spirit of God has convicted them enough. But the enemy has turned it into shame and they're hiding in the trees, covering themselves with fig leaves when they should be in the cool of the garden, with God walking in pure joy. And so they were all because they turned their eyes, thinking that they needed something, something else because they were not enough. Have you ever asked yourself with the question, "How does God feel?" What does God feel about? How's He? What's it do the heart of God? Do you not think that He's heart aches every time we look to the left or right and not to Him? Do you think He's heart aches every time we are not ourselves and who He made us to be? God knows what it's like to be vulnerable. He created you. He took a chance on you knowing that He could be wounded and rejected at any time. He took a chance on you knowing that you might not walk with Him while the days that you are on this earth. That is vulnerability. And I know that God knows how you feel. We know it because of Jesus Christ. Jesus in Hebrews chapter 12, "Therefore since we are surrounded by such a huge cloud of witnesses, lay aside every weight, the sin that so easily entangles us. Let us run with perseverance, the race that is marked out for us, set before us. Living under Jesus the author and finisher of our faith and get this the next verse. Who for the joy? Woo! This is why He did it because He had you in mind. You are His joy. You are His delight. And the Father is delighting in His own son. The Son is delighting in you knowing as He's delighting in you. He's pleasing His Father and is this beautiful vulnerability happening between the Trinity, the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit, where there is no distrust, there is perfect harmony and perfect vulnerability. God knows within Himself what vulnerability is and He knew that the only way to joy is through vulnerability. He could not make your robots and feel that sense of joy. He had to give you a free will. For the joy set before Him, for the new wine set before Him. Historian John 2. This is not just a story about a wedding. For miracle as we often say, this is a story of salvation. It happened on the sixth day and He is resaving, if you like, mankind again. It's a story of saving at a macro level. The world can enter into the new covenants, the nation of Israel can enter into the covenant of God. Gentiles can enter into the covenant of God. Family can enter into the new wine. Husband and wife can enter into the new one. Why? Because I'm going to stop this shame right now from dissipating and destroying this celebration of a wedding. God saved the marriage. That's what He's doing. He's saving a marriage from shame. He's saving a community from shame. He's saved somebody's job is on the line forever in that community. He benefit that community in so many ways. He's coming to say, I am the Savior that puts an end to shame. are more than enough. Why? Because if we go back to that verse it says for the joy that was sent before him he endured the cross despising the it's despised. He could have used any word, could have used fear, could have used evil, could have used sin, could have used guilt, but he used the shame why? Because he knows he's trying to get the read his attention to refer back to Genesis, to refer back to Jacob when he was deceived when he deceived others. He's trying to get you to say as Eve was deceived you see what I killed I scorned it in other words I made it worthless I made it nothing it's almost like you can spin on a water of a duck's back it has nothing right now I made nothing of it I made it just a spectacle of nothingness I led captivity captive I triumphed over evil it is gone it is forgotten because you are enough that was his joy this is truth I spoke to a guy the other day who was doing such a trivial thing as making pizza in his house for guests to come over and he's making pizza and he didn't make pizza like he normally makes pizza how many people love pizza how many people smell pizza right now if you've had pizza overseas in Europe you've had real pizza Chicago pizza is pretty good Papa John's pretty good but he he was making pizza and he didn't make the pizza as good as he could he spent the whole night apologizing that he didn't make the pizza as good as he normally does over and over again I'm sorry I'm sorry I normally make the pizza better I burn it I don't know what I don't know what he did but he did not what he normally does and we begin just discussing why why he did that and it kind of was cool because it led to a deeper discussion the layers beneath why you essentially trying to keep up an appearance the young A.H. she was forced to lead his home siblings and his mother because his dad was not around so automatically he's placed in a position where he has to be the strong one the one who has it together in case his family falls together falls out falls breaks apart someone has to be strong for the family someone has to be strong for the siblings and so any sign of failure or weakness or imperfection might result in what his father did isolation brokenness and perhaps the lack of affirmation and a safe place to fail it was never reiterated to him that that was okay and so as teenage years and adulthood comes along and you thrust upon stages and platforms and you're leading people everything has to be perfect what is that you want people to say essentially I'm good enough I can do this we all want that I am enough I don't want to be shamed I don't want to be ashamed fear of failure fear of being ostracized can overtake us in subtle ways and it starts with making pizza in the kitchen that we apologize over and over and over again but the truth is none of us are good enough none of us are good and this is the key you're not going to find in the latest magazine ten ways to be vulnerable with others you ain't going to find that because in the kingdom of God to find your life is to lose it for the joy set before him he endured the cross scorning despising its shame and sat down at the right hand of the father it is done here's the new why here's the rescuing salvation of man let the party continue let you be who I created you to be in your fullness not suppressing anything in darkness not trying to live a compare to anybody else trying to please people trying to please your superiors trying to look good with your superiors all we all do it because you want them to think that you're good enough but the purpose is do your work unto the Lord not unto man right there you take all the pressure off yourself comparing yourself to others because you do it first under him and all the others get the benefit of it I meant wait forward the intimacy is to return to the place of vulnerability you can stand your feet don't forget to check out our app or visit the belonging on Instagram or Facebook for updates service times and ways to get involved we're also streaming services on Facebook live so be sure to join us and share the post thanks again for checking out the podcast and we'll see you soon