Guys we actually just had one of the funnest episodes we've ever had you are going to enjoy it with two movie guys Yeah, Matthew Modine and DB Sweeney. You're going to love it. You can't like the odd couple Yeah, it's it's was really turned out to be one of the funnest ones we've ever done catch me in Boston April 17th and 18th West Nyak, New York, levity live April 24th 26th and then catch me at Emmaus, Pennsylvania, May 2nd I got nothing patreon.com/historyhinus What's up everybody welcome to another episode of history hyenas. I'm Chrissy D This is yonni p today. We got two Cuties in the studio with us Matthew Modine DB Sweeney. They got a new movie out right now called the protector and let me tell you some right now I feel like we're alter. I feel like you know like when Bill and Ted you ever see them will be Ted excellent adventure when they see the alternate versions of themselves. That's this. This is us. It's is us This is we were actors. This is who we see if we have any serious talent. Yeah, if any serious town But it said we're just idiots on pod. Yeah, yeah, welcome. Welcome. We heard the movie came out this week came out this week and First off, we really are interested in talking about the movie business because you came in and like you told me the numbers are Yeah, but I was like that's it's like we said it's a win to get a movie theater, right? It is a win to get inside the movie theater Right, yeah, I think they got a rethink the whole model I mean you can't like our movies. Okay, right? It's not okay, but you're asking people you know 16 bucks a ticket 15 bucks for popcorn The outrage of all outrageous is six bucks from milk duds. I mean sure throw me a bone. Yeah, by buy the popcorn for 12 Yeah, combo me a little bit. They don't do that. So so by the time you're you know you get out of there You went to see protector with you know db idiot and and Mila hoddy wants a part of time sure And and all of a sudden, you know, you're you're in it for like 70 bucks. I like it. You're in it for 70 bucks Yeah, yeah, and it's the guy for stranger things. Yeah Yeah, the reason to go That's the way you promote it. That's what you know, what's great is we were planning to do 20 minutes with you guys But I don't think we need it because we got the clip He'd be sweening remember the name for clip It's no citizen. Can't she used to be hot. What do you want me to do right? Right. No, it's just listen Here's the thing. I think that I think that we're living in a time right now where it's just the internet I mean as you we all know they've just taken over and it's like art. It's still art I love the movies. I love TV shows. I appreciate it But I look at my kids and I'm like there's just they just don't care like we care They just don't they care about Mr. Beast and the shit everybody's everybody's now a freaking movie director because they have phones I mean the cameras inside our phones are better than the cameras Stanley Cooper cad when you did full mental jacket And it's just it sucks, but it's just the it's just the world So I think though, you know, I think your idea of having Somebody I'm making the theater in experience where it's like the actual actors are there you get a meet and greet with them all that stuff I think that's the way it will go and I think that's where it should goes or just put everything every movie You do just also do it on only fans where you see the movie and then you can also have an AI version of you guys Just fucking eat and ask not only for five dollars a month. I'd like to see that Mr. Modena Oh my god, the real you just the AI you are saying what room if I walk to you walk us you save space you've walked into you've walked it to the internet Stream this is not this is not on a big screen. It's a small screen. Yeah, and like we're saying it's almost like screens have become What seeing someone live used to be it's so calm now that almost the live experience seems like it's gonna become the Rare experience, but movies. I also think maybe that it's going through a transition. We maybe just going through a transition. So it's Nick right, yeah Where it's like this is happening, but then I think movies will get popular I think it's just I think it's just people will want to go back to the thing. I think I got to take the phones I think that I don't know whose idea was but that when you go to comedy show, you know They take your phone. They stick it in the yonder bag. Yes, and and I think everybody secretly got started That he didn't want anyone. That's what you don't know. I think it's so smart and it's so very smart Well, I thought I gave him the idea of their act, you know developing their act so they can have a special before everybody knows their joy Yeah, but I I think people are relieved. It's like oh, I get to I'm allowed I'm forced, but I'm allowed to put the phone down for Hours, maybe that's the answer for movie theaters too is right you gotta you know if you if you put your phone on the yonder bag You get a $3 discount on the milk duds. Yes, it's seriously. I mean something like that. Yeah, I mean dude, and it's also you know It's the soldier like I loved I love the the figure skating movie cutting edge that you guys did that's why I'm wearing this jacket That's why I put on the women's US figure skating jacket. This is for Jack Hughes. No, dude This is the official female figure skating jacket of the Milan Olympics and I wore for you, Mr. Swini That's so strong. Thank you. Thank you, but it is where you guys had Matthew. I have in a butt plug for you I was thinking maybe I had a singlet on that sort of the boot. Yeah, it's both of my butt block Were you guys friends before like have you known each other for a long time? Yeah, we met on Memphis Bell 1989 What's Memphis Bell is it a porn? That's it. Yeah, that's a World War II B. So it's a true story or based on true story about guys in leather jackets and boots. Oh really? I like it dude, but I'm definitely Nick. Yes, can somebody get Nick a wet wipe? This was the first first B17 that achieved 25 missions and at that time it was you know Plaint guys were getting shot out of the air by 11 missions. So oh Plaint, yeah, I'm talking about peptides. Yeah, but he's talking about peptides. Yeah. So these guys we're part of the crew of the first crew That got that we're they're flying their last mission if they can survive they get to go home. Yeah, and 25th mission So Matthew was capped and I was a navigator and we go over to England and and it's a really cool movie because It's just before CGI happened. So we had six real B17 bombers 12 fighter planes. Who is it? Is it camera planes? Liam Neeson But but it's a follow-up because it's yeah, we're really in these planes, you know, and it's it's cool And Sean Austin's in it and Eric Stoltz and Harry Connock. Yeah, I like these guys. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do Eric Stoltz Eric Stoltz Billy, Billy Zane Billy Zane. Oh with hair or did he have to shave Ted? No, he had a you had a wig head a wig on Yeah, but does he have does he not have hair? Oh, he's bald. Oh, but I thought he shaved it. He has got a hair loss No, it's not a disease. It's just got maraps out of his head. Yeah, yeah, it's not a disease. So does so does people the rapper I mean, you know, but you don't want to go around. I don't know if you had a alopecia Jesus Christ TV look what you used to look like Oh, how about that? Holy shit. That was the look at Matthew. Well, do you look like a lesbian? Is there Katie Lang Are you two cute kids? No, these two. Here's the I look at these two guys and I say these are the type of guys my mom wants that sex with absolutely. Yeah, and to me, I'm big fan. I was big fans of both you guys I still have big The movies big fans of the acting big fans. I saw you sitting outside having breakfast at friend of the former But I didn't come up and say hello. I let you enjoy your me, but you know, it's why I said hi No, I want one I do because I would I was so caught up in the weather that I would have come over and I would have sat down with you And said hi, my name's Chris will be in the podcast later on if you said hi, my name is Matthew Would it went for a kiss on the lips? So I said, you know what? Let me just stay back This is what we got DB in between us because I know what a guy like DB. He's from Long Island. He doesn't play that gay shit so That's what I know about DB. So I just figured he's I'm in a safe space with DB. Yeah, yeah Yeah, cuz DB came in. He was like, can I speak in here and they just dropped You're in a safe space. Yeah, I like DB and I like DB from Long Island, but I said it in a French context. I'm at late I didn't mean like literal. Yeah, yeah, Maddie mall. Let me ask you a question. Yeah, okay. You've been in some big I mean dude. Come on full metal jacket stranger things. I mean some of the biggest blockbusters ever Where do you see the business going and how do you feel about things because now we're in this movie The protector, which is a fantastic movie is it but it's independent film isn't isn't it? Where's it not independent? We forgot about the dark night too. Oh, and he's in the dark night. Yeah dark night Cuz those movies are just happening less and less now. So like what you know, what do you think? How do you feel up? And I'm remade a billion dollars and I heard Say look at these blockbusters right dark night also the billion that's what I'm saying But but they're happening like less and less. I mean, there's there's still happening But there used to be so many of these movies, but now there's only like one a year So you can't get in every single one of them because the rocks in a mall the rocks in a mall. Yeah, did Did anybody really imagine that up in hammer would make a billion dollars? I mean dude I's well, they did a they did a barbenheimer the way the bar being up in high Yeah, I'm marking it like if you're stupid you go to this one mark. Yeah, if you went to college you go to that one Yeah, yeah
- You gotta see, you gotta see Bolton talk about it. - Yeah, very smart. - You got to eat your meat and potatoes before you get your cake. - Yes, yeah, it was sort of like, I mean, I don't have a crystal ball to be able to tell you what the future is going to look like. It looks pretty grim right now with all the wars going on. - Sure. - But perhaps the secret sauce, the secret secret of the success of Stranger Things is what DB was alluding to before. It's a time before computers and cell phones and a video games, people were playing Dungeons and Dragons. If you wanted to see your friend, you could get on a bicycle and ride and go see them. So that this kind of low-tech analog world that we're missing right now, I think maybe the world slides back into a more reasonable place where there's people talking to one another. - Yes, yes, that's when I try so, every time I'm watching Stranger Things was my 10-year-old and 15-year-old love. Stranger Things watching, it came out in the, even that last episode came out in the theaters. It was such a big event in my family. And I always tell them, similarly, I'm like, this was the time when Mommy and Daddy grew up in this time where all we did was talk to each other ride bikes and we didn't have any major real fears. The only fear we had was who's getting AIDS. AIDS was the big thing. - Yeah, yeah. - Everybody's not AIDS. And that was like, I tell her that was like our Democrat. - I don't see any man long Island got AIDS. - No. - Yeah, you know, pretty much he broken guys. - Yeah, well, he came close. - Well, I came close, but you know, the funny thing was we all thought we were gonna get AIDS. It was like the media made up. - Sure. - And then you went to your doctor 'cause you thought you had AIDS all the time. - Yeah. - And then your doctor told you the politically incorrect truth. - Yeah, well, the thing is it was like, "Foul is having sex with men." - "Foul is having sex with men." - Yeah, why didn't JFK get it then? - Right, he'd go back before it was before AIDS. - Erwin is testicles. - He was, yes, but I didn't never saw it. - Senior or junior? - No. - No, the original. - Yeah. - No, wow. - Are you talking about junior? - Junior, he was, yeah. He was a penis heroine into his testicles. - Was he? - Like on a bed. - Well, RFK Junior, Google it. Just saw, did RFK Junior get out of heroin, right? - Kennedy boys, they did. - They are wild boys. His voice, his voice. I know he says he has a neurological condition, but I know just from, you know, he's, that's, you get that from eating ass. He was eating ass at a level that I actually haven't seen in a way. - Yeah. - That, and then you just, your voice is gonna wind up like that. So actually that is what's stopped me from eating as much ass as I can. - It might be, if your uncle and your father were assassinated when you got up to publicly speak, you had a little bit of tension in your voice. - A little short. - My beard, nervous thing. - He's red thing on my forehead. - Yeah. - Yeah. - That's a good point. You get a little nervous. - He says there's no credible evidence that RFK injected drugs into his penis, but he looks like the guy that would, and I, and I, you know, he had fun. - That's really nice. - I think they got it wrong. They, it's not pissed. - Yes, it was testicles. - Testicles. - Oh, testicles. - Yeah. - It's crazy though, people attacking this guy. Like he's saying, like, let's have less vaccines and let's eat better food. And it's like, he's Hitler. - Right. - It's like, I mean, he, really? - You guys must have some interesting political capacity. - But let me just tell you something right now. This is what I actually love about this, and this is what I hope the kids at home are watching. They are opposite sides of the spectrum politically. You could tell by their faces. - You could just stop, you could tell that they don't agree on what they politically are at all. But here they are, getting along, friends, promoted, and that you could tell there's a genuine love. I mean, and it's just, that is the world that's life. It's like, you got it wrong. - You gave it that way. - Great. - I admire this guy. - Yes. - Great actor. - Yes. - Great actor. - You're a great actor. - Yes, that's what I'm saying. You have commonalities, like so what? If you're on different sides, you know, spectrum, it's okay. - The bigger challenge for us is that I eat meat, and he doesn't eat meat, so when we try to pick a restaurant, he's got a veto power. - But again, you can get past everything. - Yeah. - You can get past everything, dude. - That's always something you can eat. - Yeah. - Always something I'll eat. - Yeah. - Always a salad. - There's always a salad. (laughing) Yeah, so I like that, right? Are you vegetarian for moral reasons, health reasons? - No, I grew up in the '60s. - Yeah, sure. - Everybody, when it was difficult to be vegetarian. And then my wife, in trying to eliminate, trying to find things that were making her ill, she didn't know what it was. So she started eliminating things in her diet. And once she eliminated animal products from her diet, she, her health increased dramatically. And so, you know, as the wife goes, so does the household. - Yeah, smart. - So the house became vegan. - Yeah. - Healthy, dude, I mean, your cholesterol must be unbelievable. What are the numbers? Tell us the numbers. - Yeah, I don't, I don't even, I don't have a doctor. - Really? - No. - Interesting. - Just to go to the doctor. - Yeah, they do. - So they give you bad news. - That's what a sick people are. - That's what DB wants to inject you with methylene blue. (laughing) - Is that all right? - Yeah, that's what DB wants to do. Just do it outside the elevator. - Yeah. - DB wants to have K to take a look at you. - DB looks like he was partying last night. - Yeah, DB, DB, DB, DB does not watch what he's saying. - DB might go first, right? - Yeah, that's what, yeah. - He had a good time. DB's a fun guy, both fun guys for different ways. - In different ways, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, with DB, you know, you wanna do a bump coke, you go to DB's house. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - If you wanna get a nice Kenwa salad with beans that supplement the protein, you go with a bodhini salad. - Yeah, yeah. - It's what it is. - You have a nice machete, organic, infused. - Yeah, it's a good time both ways. - And it's just beautiful come together. You know what I mean? It's a nice come together moment. It's kind of like, you know, different, I like that there's, you know, this is the older generation where you just hang out. You just hang out and you find a commonality between each other. And my dad was a Republican. - My mom was a Democrat back in the day worse. - They got divorced, but they got divorced for different reasons. - My mom had fumes, right? - But, yeah. - Yeah, so that-- - My mom had fumes? - Yeah, don't, well, we'll get into it on the Patreon. - My dad was a Korean war vet. - Sometimes he would say some inappropriate. - Yeah, his dad was a Korean war vet. And he did, you know, he denies it, but we are pretty confident that he did have sex through the Korean prostitute. - No, he definitely did. - Yeah, he did. - And his mom found out, and what can you do? - Yeah, he's trying to survive, honey. - He definitely did, and he announced it to a waiter once in his later years, you know. You get older, you become a little bit more unbridled. Bring me some more kimchi, and I bang the prostitute. - As what it is. - Yes, I was with my brother, who's very proper. He actually is, you know, very liberal guy. My brother-- - He's a homosexual. - So we were sitting having-- - Not because he's liberal. - No, just because he had sex with men. - Yeah, it's true strong, man. - Yeah, it's true strong. - No, he's a proper term homosexual. - But he is liberal too. - Right, he's liberal. - Right, he is liberal. - But being liberal doesn't make you homosexual. - He's a double-stuffed Oreo, yeah. - Right, he's both liberal and homosexual. - He's a $3 bill, but not because it was politics. Because he likes-- - You know what I mean, he has sex with men in the butt. - Yeah, that's awesome. - But then we respect that, and we love that. - And we also love liberals, and we're not some liberals. - Argue, DB might have said that, but we didn't say that. (laughing) - I just want to draw a hard line between Long Island and Queens and Brooklyn. - Right. - So hard buried, yeah. - So me and my brother was sitting there with my father. He must have been, you know, in his 80s at the time. And as the waitress came over, he just said, Korean horse got tight pussies. Out of nowhere. - Yeah. - Out of nowhere, he must have just been back there. - Back there, yeah. - It happens. - And that's just what he said, just what he did. - Now Matt, that'll change the evening. - Yeah. - My brother was mortified. - I was cracking up. - Right. - And we chose different career paths. - Yes. - You're trying to transition, like get that-- - Well, I'm trying out-- - Theation of a career. - Well, I was kind of-- - No, I could talk to a career all day. - But I know we only have a few more minutes. I want to talk about the Nix. You and I, big time New York Nix fans. You said, where do I know you from? Obviously, you know, it's made the Joe Grindr. We thought about it, that's not it. But it was, it's the Nix games. - We got spanked last night. - We did get spanked. - We did. - Yesterday, last night. - Last night. - Yesterday at the Lakers. But I do feel, don't you feel that, even though we're having a little bit of bumps in the road now, DB come down, no bumps on the table. I think that this, more than any other year, in recent memory, we have a real chance to win the NBA championship. What do you think? What do you say? - I mean, I don't, it's like holding your breath. You know, I might feel like when it passed out, that I'm so excited that they could, they could, you know, reach the, definitely East Coast finals. - East Coast finals for sure. - For sure. - Yeah. You saw Jalen came back from Boston, he's back. - Yeah, oh, yeah, Jason Tatum. - Jason Tatum. - Jason Tatum, yeah. - Jason Tatum, and he looked good. - He did, he looked really good. - But my feeling is, beat them last year with him at full strength, so why couldn't you do it this year? And people talk about the spurs, and next beat them by 30. So like, I personally think if we just got to get hot, I'm saying we, I'm not on the team. - Yeah. - But it's okay that we're slumping right now. - Yes, I think this is the time to slump. - I think it's good. If you're gonna slump, you do it now, and then you get a nice little surge. And I, I, I, I've been since been playing terribly. - He's been playing terribly, and but let him get it out now. - Yeah, let him get it out. - I really think, I really think this is a time, New York sports, I'm a big St. John's, we have to know the dominant tenet in MSG is the Rangers. - Yes. - They're gonna go 17 and one now, since they kept TRO check. - Yeah. - They're gonna make the playoffs. They're gonna win the cup. - Do you think that? - Oh, man. - Dude, man, crazy. - 17 and one. - The Islanders, all New York sports teams playing good. - Buffalo. - Buffalo types of Brooklyn Nets, but they're not a real team. Can we just be honest, Matt? Now, you've told us you're a New Yorker? - No. - You know, DB, New Yorker, you've been here straight. - Still in New Jersey Nets. - The here's the truth about, the here's the truth about Brooklyn.
not the Brooklyn Nets. And let's just back me up on this. Okay, the Brooklyn Nets, if you're a fan, if you're an adult of the Brooklyn Nets, if you're an adult fan of the Brooklyn Nets, either you don't know sports, you're on the spectrum, you're a Hesitic Jew. It's one of those things. (laughing) There's, and the stadium sucks. And it's a terribly center sucks. It's like, if you're a little kid, if you're under the age of 15, I'll allow you to be a Brooklyn Nets fan. You grow up here, but you can't be an adult and tell me you like the Nets. It just doesn't make any sense. So anybody tells me that they like the Brooklyn Nets, or if you're from New Jersey, if you're from New Jersey, I'll allow it. But if you're from New York and you like the Nets, I really don't have anything in common with you, because you're not a guy who likes sports, and I'm a guy who likes sports, and you're also most likely a Hesitic Jew. Yeah, they do make their Yankees. I'm actually, I like the Mets, but I also don't hate the Yankees and I never have. I'm a bisexual baseball fan, because I'm all about New York first. So I like the Mets and the Yankees, and a lot of people get mad at me. And what I say to them is-- Same with Jets Giants. Well, I don't like the Jets, I only like the Giants. But the only reason why I like the Mets is because I grew up Yankees fan, my father from the Bronx, whatever. I was born and raised in Queens, and my mother always wanted me to be a Mets fan, but I'd go with my pops. But then the Mets owner, Steve Cohen, his son, is a comedy fan, and we start to get to know each other. And then I got to know the owner of the Mets, Steve Coney's, the nicest guy ever, and his family's so nice, and then roll out the red carpet for me and my family, where like, you know, the Yankees are a Steve Cohen? No, he's a billionaire owner of the Mets, so right off the bat. What, he's a billionaire. A billionaire, so he's out. Oh, yeah. But he's also, but he's also Jewish, so we have to love and support our Jewish brothers and sisters. It depends. Depends. But it is fun to watch. It's irrelevant. It's irrelevant. It's irrelevant to, is Mundani going after? I don't think Mundani can get, I don't think he's too big the billionaires. I don't think Mom Donnie, yeah, I think all Mom Donnie can really do to Steve Cohen is hit him with a snowball. I don't think that's really, can't really stop Steve. Yeah, you've got too much money. I can be able to get him with an impromptu nail bomb. No, no. And then like the snowball thing in Washington's world. No, what did you think about it? Yeah, see? It's wrong. It's wrong. They're police officers. And by the way, if a snowball fight is when we engage and we're both throwing snowballs, right? This policeman, we're not throwing snowballs. That's a great point. Had they thrown snowballs, it could have escalated into something really horrific. Yes. Now, you know, we live in an era where someone could take that clip and turn you into a mega Republican. Yes. Just that clip. Yeah. 'Cause even though I'm trying to be a skinny mini, one thing I love is chubby. Are you talking to me? Yeah. I love chubby. You love me at 220. 'Cause yeah, yeah. You like to, you like to make me, you like to fat me up at your base bed. And what I like about you too is I like that, just like a girl, when you posted the picture of us, at the wedding, you cropped from the waist up. You have to do that 'cause my gut is fat, fat, fat, fat. But chubby's is actually, they have, it's clothing company and they got the best shorts. Summers coming up, I love their shorts. They were founded in 2011 by a group of friends who wanted to redefine proper lung shorts and they definitely named the company after one of their fat friends. They just called chubby. Men shorts, they were losing their personality, they didn't look as good and they were right. And that's why this year marks 15 years of chubby's with a celebrate and by bringing back the originals, the OGs, the shorts that started all, they got the same iconic inseam options, same comfortable fit and the same easy going vibe that looks good and feels even better. With over 2.6 million customers, chubby's clearly knows how to keep thighs happy and vibes happy. You know, you gotta get the right MCN. You don't want a too saggy, chubby's just does it right there. Great shorts. Summers coming up, go take a peek at the website and go buy yourself some chubby's for a limited time. Chubby's is giving our listeners 20% off with the code
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I mean, thousands of years ago when Confucius was walking the earth, he said, when words lose their meaning, people lose their freedom. And we're living in a time where there's so many opinions, you know, we were talking before about the movie business and not only is it can anybody make a movie, but anybody can have an opinion about a movie and depending on the platform that they have, how loudly they can yell and destroy something that is rather fragile part and storytelling, you know. It's easy to, but it used to be that way too. Frank Rich, the movie, the theater critic for The New York Times could close a play overnight. I don't know if you ever went to Joe Allen's restaurant. Joe Allen's restaurant, the walls were lined with plays that opened and closed on the opening night. And I used to think he was making fun of those plays, you know, like, ah, they opened and closed, but he was celebrating the fact that how much effort it took in order to be able to get that play up. Look at the people that were involved. The famous director, the famous actors, the famous playwright, the famous composers that were involved with the creation that opened and closed in one night. So he wasn't making fun of it. He was celebrating the effort. Yes. And that's what we don't really do anymore, is you don't get to eat for effort anymore. It's like, you win or you're a loser. Yeah. Yeah. As a quaint time, like, New York Times is on 43rd Street and then Joe Allen's on 46th Street and opening that of a Broadway play, The New York Times would come out for the next day at like 11 o'clock, so the play ends at like 10. People would be huddled in the restaurant. Somebody would be right on 43rd Street trying to get the first copy, and they'd all read the review. And it's like, you learn your fate, you know. And we're hit or was it really, did he have that? We had that power in the 80s and certainly in the early 90s. Yeah, it became when the internet started to get big with comedy, like I'm talking about over the last like 10 years, it became a big thing amongst comedians. Like you would hear it at the different clubs. Like people started really crapping on like SNL. Oh, it's not funny anymore. And the people from, you know, the 90s were funny or in all these things. And, you know, I had never been there. I never, you know, wasn't a part of SNL. So I would hear what they were saying. And I was like, yeah, but this shows like an institution. So like, what could it be? And then you would hear people really go in SNL sucks. Nobody's just starting all these things. And then I went, I went, one of our friends was on the show. And he invited me to go to the show to watch him on it and the after party. And then I went and watched like I was there watching how it all goes. And I was like blown away by the spec. Well, what those people do every single week to make that show and how complicated it is and how they have to do everything. And put out sketches and deal with the internet now and all that stuff. And I was just the kind of, like, I just love the show so much now, even if I don't laugh at it as much or I can hear people say, okay, subjectively it's not funny, but kind of the admiration I have for what goes into it. And it's very similar to a play. Like, you can, it's easy now. Everybody judges everything. They got these watch videos on Instagram and they like to shit on things. And then it's like, if you tried it, like, go try. Like, now when I hear anybody crap on SNL, I'm like, go try it. Go see if you could come up within a week of all those sketches and tell me how funny you think you could be. Like, tell me off, it goes, try a Broadway play. See if you can honestly do it. Most people can't, that's why it's the Teddy Roosevelt speech, the best, the man in the arena. That's it, yeah, yeah. I don't think everybody should get a participation medal. I think we have to celebrate excellence, you know, that there's one person that wins the prize. But, sounding very conservative. Dude, I was just going to say, dude, you still like my dad. Or he's just sounding like good old, what they use to call, you know, good old, Clinton, Democrat. No, well, that's, that's a thing. Just to know, I think we're all, I think we're all in here, right? Old school, Democrats, we're all, you know, even the way that we are, you know, the way we are now, just being in the middle, a lot of, you know, because people have gotten so crazy. Like, you're a Republican, it's like, no, they would I grew up. [BLANK_AUDIO]
Mostly, Democrat like everybody else in New York. - The butt that I got in that I didn't finish the thought is that, but, you say you have two children. - Three, yeah. - When they had first started walking, you didn't discourage them when they fell down. You say, "Oh, what a loser." - No. - You get another kid that will learn how to walk right away. You keep encouraging, you're helping them. - Not me. - As soon as my kid fell, I said, "You're deserved to fall, "you're pale skin, you deserve it, you're privileged." - Yeah, you shouldn't be walking. - Well, you had people who didn't walk. You know what, what kind of conquering your ancestors did. - Exactly. - Even though we didn't, we're great. We've been conscious for a long time, but I let her know she was privileged. That was the most important thing. - No, you're walking. - Or you gotta tell your kids now. Like, now I get mad at my kids if they don't know Mandarin. I'm like, "You better learn fricking Chinese." - Yeah. - Okay, what the hell are you doing? Who cares if you could do it in English? Do you think this movie could make some money in China? 'Cause that seems to be the way to protect her. - Yeah, why not? - The movie that we came here to protect her. - It's kinda designed to be international, 'cause it's, you know, it's kind of a knockoff. - I was gonna say, it's taken with a woman. - Yeah, that's what, I thought it was more Rambo. - First blow, right? - Okay. - Yeah, first blow. - Your character, my character, is definitely - We're definitely lifted from them. - But Mila, I think her character is more like Liam Neeson as a chick. - Right. - But yeah, those movies tend to do better international because, you know, a punch doesn't need a subtitle. - That's right. - Where did you guys film the movie? - Was it in the US? - Last Cruces New Mexico. - New Mexico. - Yeah. - Which is, you know, if you like burritos, right? See, that's the part, another part about acting, I always think about now. You know, we travel, it's stand up and all that, and I never really considered until I got into, you know, entertainment a little bit. You know, you guys gotta be away from your families for months filming these movies. Like, how do you, I used to be worse. - Yeah. - Used to be four months, five months. Full metal jacket was almost two years I was in England, but I was with my wife. - Right, yeah, my son. - They used to take care of you in those days. - Yeah, yeah. - Now they try to get you to say, "Wow, we'll bring you to England for a movie, "but you have to be an English citizen." Like, pretend you're an English person, pay your own hotel, you know. - Whoa! - Yeah, so that's how they, they call it a local hire. So like, I got offered some last week, where they said, "Okay, we're gonna shoot in Columbus, Ohio, "but you gotta be a local hire." So like, I gotta pay the hotel on the airplane, and so deduct that from whatever money they're giving you. But when we did Memphis Bell, we were there like five months, and they put us up in a nice place. - Yeah. - But if you had a wife and kids at that point, and there's plenty of actors that can't bring their family, - But once they started going to school, that was the end of it. - You didn't see them, then you were gone for three, four months. - Yeah, see, that's like the dilemma, 'cause sometimes we are like, you know, we'll only go begone Thursday to Sunday, and we're like, "We can't do this, I miss my family," but you guys, it's a different thing. - It is awful, and you know, it's why there's so many crash and burn marriages in the entertainment. - That's what it is. You're still together. - But you made it, you're still on. - Yeah, 45 years. - Whoa! Congratulations, man. - You made it 20 plus. - 23? - Yeah, that's 23. - 23. - 23, you can leave. I think you should be able to leave. - I think you should be able to tell an option. - Yeah. - Have a clause in the contract. - I think it's the same success for me. - Well, I think the treasury. - I think it's up to you. - The government should, every 10 years you make, the government should send you a check, because you've made society better. - Yes. - You know what I mean? - You're a great point. - Because if you look at all the statistics on crime, it doesn't matter if you're rich or you're poor, if you have two parents, you're like one eighth less likely to just go to jail. - Really? - Yeah, it's just a fact. - Whether they're divorced or not, you're saying just two parents? - No, two parents married. - Two married parents. - Okay. - And it does, but the thing that's great is it doesn't, it doesn't have any correlation to finances. You can be super poor, you can be super rich, like a divorced billionaire family has just as much chance of producing a degenerate criminal as a family making no money. - Right, right. - Maybe not just as much, but comparably. - It's definitely, it definitely helps. - Rob Reiner. - Yeah. - Well, you're saying what, Rob Reiner? - Did you say? - Yeah. - As a counterpoint, I think he's bringing it up. - Oh, as a counterpoint, yeah. You wouldn't think that Rob Reiner's child would, - Oh, we'd do that, we'd do something so heinous, but then, but that was a mental illness. - Well, multiple marriages, too. - Really? - Yeah, it was his first wife. - Oh. - I don't know. - That, I don't know. - Yeah, I don't know, I just threw it up. - I guess the point that I was trying to make is that you don't know, it exists across the spectrum. - Sure. - Of craziness. - Humans are a complicate, we're complicated. - Yeah. - Yeah. - That's why we need movies, we need art. You know what I miss, I miss feeling. - I miss. - I miss watching something in feelings. - Yeah. - The way they make movies now, it's like either excitement or plot twist, I miss the feeling. - You're right. - When you watch Eight Men Out, when you watch Ethan Hawke, he loves Ethan. - He's a big Ethan Hawke, like we, I try to get his lap. - I try to get videos of Ethan Hawke for his birthday. I mean, he watches every Ethan Hawke movie. He loves Ethan Hawke. - Oh, Blue Moon. - Ethan Hawke. - You get Blue Moon and this, right? - You guys, I love Link Letter. - I love Link Letter. - You boys know Ethan Hawke? - I know Ethan. - Can you get him on? - What can we do? - I'll hook him up. - What can we do? Because I'm telling you, if you wanna make someone, if you wanna make a fellow liberal man happy. - Yeah. Ethan, what you could do, Ethan Hawke is the gift. I can't explain to you what Ethan Hawke would mean to Yannis. It would be like, you send in a dying kid, you know, their favorite sports star. - Right. - Steph Curry showed up for some kid who's dying a kid in Bay Area. - Didn't agree to invent liberal democracy before. - And then they abandoned it for 1,000 years. - No, that didn't. - No, they didn't. - But they did democracy and then they didn't have it for a while. - That's the Roman emperors. - Stoicism. - Sorry. - Stoicism. - Stoicism? - Yeah. - Yeah, we did. - Kind of everything. - What Bible? - We wouldn't have the Bible before. - What happened? - We wouldn't have all. - What happened? - Well, we got conquered. - We got conquered. - We got conquered. - Yeah, and you know, in real life, people didn't understand that guys just want to sit around chat, talk philosophy, and have a little butt sack. - Yeah, that's all they did. - This is all what. - This is always little boys, you freaks. - Naked, naked wrestling. - Yes,�. - Breast all of oil. - The Olympic. - Wow. - We've done it. - Because we're gonna get Ethan Hawke for you. - If you can just tell him you had a good time. - And if that John Kennedy in your sign. - That's it, JFK. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Who's the great headed guy in there? - That's the driver, Clint Black. - No, that's Carl. - John Connolly. - Oh, that's John Connolly. I thought that was the driver. - That's supposed to be the back of the-- - Yeah. - We're in the back of the convertible, you know-- - Drinking smoothie. - That's the thing we do, cuties with smoothies. - So DB is sitting about where the grassy knoll is. - Yes, he was the shooter. - No, Woody Harrelson's father. - Yeah, that's what they say, right? - Yeah. - Well, you know what's interesting. - What's happened? - You never heard it. Woody Harrelson's father, I don't think he died, but he's murdered a life sentence for murdering a federal judge. And the rumor is that Oliver Stone put him in troop crime or whatever that one, true rumour, 'cause he wanted to get the true story about JFK. - Right. - And that's why, but yeah, but that part is not disputed, the part that's alleged is that he was one of the guys in the grassy knoll. - Yeah. - I go, I was definitely more than one guy. - Well, yeah, because you watch him get shot in there. - Have you been there? - Yes, yes, yes. - Yes, yes. - Stereo, when you stand there in that spot, you look where the book depository is and where the grassy knoll is. - You like it. - There's no way. - There's no way. - No way. - How fast is the car going? - 25 miles an hour. - I go by. - It's not. - I go by. - And also I got no assassin ever goes. I didn't do it. They want the credit. You know, they want it. They're doing it because they want people to know that they killed the tyrant. - They don't go. - They're a patsy. - Right. - So he can start unraveling that thing though. You go right through jail for it on the Warren commission and yeah, only on elected president history of the country. - We're going to get rid of Nixon over like nothing. - Yeah. - I know. I think we'll find it. I think now there's enough time has went by because the gauge for me is my mom. My mom is very Catholic. Irish Catholic. Lady from New York City like your beliefs. Everything believes in the church. She's in the government. - She's so holy. She could maybe get you in as a plus one. - She could get you into a plus one. Even though you've been divorced. - Yeah. - Even though you've been divorced. - She talks. - My mom's got a, you know, I need her info. - The lightning lane at Disney World. My mom's got lightning lane passes to get into heaven 'cause she's a very Catholic by the book late. - I was an author for me. - I've also put some hours in. So she's, yeah, she's even going to get you honest in. And she said she possibly could even get in as gay brother, but that's going to be hard. So, but she said it's possible she's going to talk to Jesus when she gets up. But even my mother has said, even my mother has said two things. Have radically changed her. She now has been asking me, Christopher, do you really think the government killed JFK? Is that possible? And I said, I don't know if it's a government mom, but I don't think it was Lee Harvey Oswald. She's like, yeah, I kind of agree. I think the government may have lied to us. And I'm like, I would say. And then the other thing is, again, devout religious a week ago. She's like, Christopher, do you know, anybody in your podcast, if anybody in your podcast come and talk about aliens, I think they're real. And I said, mom, what? - Whoa. - Jesus made us since seven days. What are you talking about? She's accepting aliens, but she still denies the pedophilia, the systematic pedophilia. - Well, that was a Catholic church? - That's what it is with mom. She does it, yeah, that didn't happen. - My mom is, here's who my mom is. I'm 16, when the pedophilia Catholic church stuff came out, I was 16 years old. 16 years old, I mean, prime time, right? I'm, this is my brain forming. And then she, I was in Catholic high school. This whole scandal gets rocks at Catholic church. And she goes, you're gonna, every, in my high school, they had a camp called usopus. It was a, and it's town upstate. And you would go with the, you know, boys, all boy Catholic high school, the priests were there. And like, it was sleep away, summer camp. And so this scandal's happening. And she's like, you're gonna go to youopus this year? I said, mom, you want me to be in the woods with priests? What about all this stuff? She's like, oh, don't believe that bullshit. I was like, oh, okay, don't believe that bullshit. Why do you think I fucking waddled out a church, you know? And then he blacked out for like, oh, 16th year. - Yeah, doesn't remember. - Doesn't remember. - Doesn't remember.
My mom is like now she's starting to come around to all these conspiracies that are not really we're finding out, not really conspiracy. I know you've been a believer for a long time, we've seen each other at the meetings. But Matthew is now even believing that, you know, it's not, here's one way. I think there's just as much pedophilia in travel sports, in the New York City public school system. Sure. And every place there's single parents dropping their kids off and having them driven back by the coach. And I think the Catholic church, certainly rate crimes, great cover-up, everybody should be killed. Dude, but I think it was highlighted for an agenda to describe Catholic church. Yeah. So because I don't think it's any more prevalent than any other place where there's kids and grown-ups in a public. Yeah. That's probably true. You know, it's funny. That's like my wife's like in old school, like the Puerto Rican girl from Sunset Park Brooklyn. So it's, she's just, you know, she's not political at all. She's your married. Is your wife Latina? Is Latina Hispanic? Or? Yeah, I'm in the club. Yeah. I'll see you at the meeting. Get back to the head then. So my, she's old school Puerto Rican girl. We live in this neighborhood now, you know, moved out of the five burrows. We live in this neighborhood. It's a little bit more. I hate to use the term woke. That's a ridiculous word. But it's kind of, it's just not like the, it's not like growing up in Brooklyn. It's just a little bit, they're a little bit more like go with the flow stuff and one of the coaches there, door to play sports is a big on, is the type of coach is like, oh, parents have to leave. And so the first practice, she was like, no, I'm not leaving. And he was like, no, it's just standard, like, and she goes, yeah, I know if it's my daughter's nine. So I'm not leaving. I'll sit here. And just, and it's funny. Like when you watch, like just a woman who's like, you know, pretty intimidating kind of lady. I mean, she's beautiful. But you know, you could tell she's got some toughness to her when it's up in sunset. Sunset Park, Brooklyn was she's just like, no, I'm not, I don't care, I'm not leaving. It's very interesting how people just immediately back down. Like there's a, I live in a town where it's like, I can see some of like the teachers or parents, like they almost pray on you. They hope like you back down because it's very politically correct. But you know what, you're right, respect your space, but like, she's just not like that. And she's Puerto Rican. So it's like, what are you going to fucking do now? Now you have, now you're this white guy being like, yes, all this fucking hole here at the now bullshit. Now you have this Puerto Rican lady with a tattoo on her tits saying, how about I'm not leaving? Yeah. And then they're like, oh, you know what? 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Visit ASPCA petinsurance.com/high heinus. That's ASPCA petinsurance.com/high heinus eligibility restrictions apply. Visit ASPCA petinsurance.com/amazonterms for more info. This is a paid advertisement. Insurance is underwritten by either Independence American Insurance Company or United States Fire Insurance Company and produced by PTZ Insurance Agency Limited. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance. I'm very interested. You guys are, you've been in Hollywood for a while, things changed, me too, things like that. How much was that a part of the culture there and how much of it is like overblown by? Well, DB can't talk about it legally. Active lawsuit. Matthew's in question for the 45 days. He's almost out. Matthew, we know. Do you ever come across Harvey Weinstein? Is any of that like? Yeah. And but Harvey, he was never, I think I've never been raped, but I believe. Well, the day is young, except for by a chimpanzee, he gave him the right water barking. Yes. I think we'll be fine if I have a barking. I did get violated by a chimpanzee on a movie called Funky Monkey. You were violated on the set of Funky Monkey? Yeah. The chimpanzee fucked me. What it is? It happens. He had a diaper on. Really? Yeah. But my god, he sounds like our friend Nick. Yeah. And the frightening thing about it was, was after, you know, he pushed me over and jumped on me and I guess it's okay to say if a chimpanzee's doing it, he rabidied me. Really? Yeah. And then he looked at my face, you know, you've seen the close-ups of chimpanzees. Sure. Yeah. Terrifying. And the thing is the flesh around their mouth is very soft. It's very. It's like here on the inside of your elbow, that very soft skin with little whiskers. So you got a little turned on. Well, that's why I wonder, was it wrong if I liked it? No. I don't think so. I don't think so. No? It was strong, that's it. It's a chimpanzee, right? Oh, he's very strong. And that was what they kept saying was they either rip your testicles off or they tear your throat out. So the trainers were laughing because the chimpanzee had pushed me over and mounted me with a diaper on. There was no. There was no diaper off. There was no penetration. But it was the look afterward where he looked at me so calmly and beautifully. And kind of if he could have spoke, said, "Yeah, yeah, I just fucked you." Yeah. But what was the. No, I mean, I'd like to go deeper into this. I felt like Harvey Weinstein was kind of like that chimpanzee. It wasn't about penetration. It was about, "Yeah, I just fucked you." Right. And it powered. It was in business. And I remember where the party went, and he grabbed me and pulled me down into his booth. And he said, "You need to be seen with me." And it had nothing to do with me needing to be seen with him. It was him needing to be seen with me. Right. And as soon as somebody of greater importance or fame came in the room. He discarded me and moved to that person. Right. And that's one of the. It's not just Hollywood in the show business. It's. That happens all the time where you're speaking to somebody and they're always looking over your shoulder to see who more fame is. Sure. The LA look. Yeah. Yeah. So he was a real prick as well. Yeah. I had dinner with him a couple of times. Yeah. And not just me, like a big table of seven or eight, but usually like five or six beautiful actresses and me and some other idiot, right actor. Right. And. Oh. I'm saying it was everybody we knew. Yeah. So yeah. But anyway, my experience of it was these actresses, they would climb over me to
get next to him and fondle him. And so I think Harvey would promise the same role to 40 actresses and have 39 dissatisfied customers who all fucked him willingly. - Right, right. - And then they didn't get the part and four years later, "Oh, he raped me." - Right. - And again, I don't know. I wasn't there, but just that my experience of watching the way women were around him, 'cause he was such a kingmaker. I mean, he could, you know, you got a partner in a Miramax movie, and that was a career maker. - Now, and now, like everyone knew, I mean, before this came out, you had like, Oprah Winfrey, all these people going, like, we love Harvey, everyone kind of knew, right? It was like, they made jokes about it at the Oscars. - I didn't know until everybody knew, right? - It came out, yeah. And now they're really, but I think that him coming out in the bathrobe with his dick hanging out. - Sure. - Meeting people in the hotel. - Not cool. - That was, for sure, that was something that was happening. And the crime really was those people that represented those actresses and saying, oh, that's just Harvey being Harvey. You want the job, don't you? And dismissing it that way. That's where the, it gets really stinky, sure, you know? - Yeah, I mean, honestly. - Imagine it's your daughter. - I know. - With the guy comes out in the bathrobe this day, can you know? - Yeah. - You don't say, oh, that's just Harvey being Harvey. - No, I'm going, I beat Harvey up, yeah. - I beat Harvey up. - And nowadays, there is that kind of guy doesn't exist in TV and films if you want to really have a career now. I mean, I'll fucking blow Mr. Beast for a retweet. (laughing) - But there wasn't, there wasn't actually, there wasn't an actor when, and like threatened to kick his ass. I don't know if it was Brad Pitt or, he did it to somebody to girlfriend. - Right. - And the guy, they act to win over. - And they was Brad Pitt. - There is something in the movie industry that I see, that again, I've only been in, I don't even think I've ever been in a movie. - Yeah, or if I was, I was cut out of it. - But, but, something that I've seen where it's like, there's this power dynamic, even if it's not sexual, it's like people are in such fear sometimes on those sets, I cut, and I know there's this famous video of Christian Baal, like screaming at someone who was really messing him up, and I know that that's got to be extremely frustrating. - This is the director of photography. - And I know that's got to be extremely frustrating for any actor, any person, I get that. But, I watch that sometimes, just as like, you know, a guy that grew up where it was like, you know, unless you're my mom or my dad, like, I obviously would be respectful, but it's like, I'm not gonna let another man ever fucking talk to me like that. Like, I would punch anybody in the face if they ever spoke to me like that, but this guy was just allowing it to happen, 'cause like, oh my God, that's Christian Baal, there's like this thing sometimes, where it's like, oh, but that's just a guy. He's a very talented guy, and he had a right to be upset, but I always found that even though very little, well, I'm just saying a right to be upset, but I'm saying like, he screamed at somebody. - I know what happened, but what was the guy doing? What was moving the light? - It was a night shoot, it was very late, and probably people were exhausted. I wasn't there. But maybe the DP was trying to bounce some light in his face to get light, and so in following him, trying to do it while he's trying to act. But the thing is, if you're smart, you learn really early on that everybody that's on the set is your seeing partner. The guy holding the boom mic is not your enemy. He's trying to record your sound. - This is why you wanna work with this guy. - Yeah, and he's an anomaly. Most actors don't see it that way. - Right, I'm number one on the call sheet. - Yes. - Fuck you, fuck everybody. - Be quiet. - You're focused and you're doing your thing and the makeup artist is just trying to get a little powder on your nose so it doesn't shine. Everybody's your seeing partner. The faster you learn it, if you're somebody that's watching this, that wants to be in the movie business, know that those people are your seeing partners. They're there to everybody's working to try something good. - I love it. - And so, yeah, maybe Christian was really exhausted and he lost his shit. But that cinematographer, the DP, was just trying to get some light in his eyes to know to get some sparkle in his eye. And it was inappropriate. But, you know, one of the most amazing things that if you search all the religious texts, whether it's the Torah, the Quran, the Bible, the most beautiful thing in all of them is the concept of forgiveness. - Yeah. - You know, grace. - And grace, can you give me one second? Can you guys shut the fuck up over there? - Fuck you. - Fuck yeah. (laughing) - Sorry. - Oh, you're right. You're right. It was bothering me. - Fucking guys are breathing. - Guys, no breathing. - How dare you. Stop leaking. Stop leaking. - You fucking movies. - My water's empty. - Yeah. - Say you fucking dress. (laughing) - Fuckin' man, it's both easy to be sweaty. You fucking nothing. (laughing) - Sorry. - Oh, thank you. - Fuckin' guys. - Yes, and not, yeah. - I knew it was on your mind. - Yeah. - The fucking guy's sitting here. - Yeah. (laughing) - My, there are collaborators. - Huh. - I mean, we just, the people wearing the headphones right now are here. - Now, like, what the hell? - The ears are bleeding. - What? - It was Stanley Cobra glyc. - You know, the best thing for me to do is to tell you to get the full metal jacket diary. It's a diary that I kept while I was making the film and photographs I took while I was on the set. It's a really fantastic deep dive into what that experience was like. The thing that's really nice about it is it's a 24 year old boy and his point of view. His vulnerabilities, his fears, his desires, his. - How much he regretting turning down Top Gun? - No. - Not at all. - I've just get. - Yeah, the Top Gun thing is really important because I made a periodical chart of full metal jacket diaries where you should go to get that. I made a periodical chart 'cause I thought, I wonder if there's a recipe to being a famous movie star. So I made this, I put John Wayne and Mel Gibson. The biggest star is around that time. - Phoebe Sweeney was with me. - Yeah. (laughing) - John Wayne. - Phoebe Sweeney asked me for a penny. He's like, "What's the recipe?" (laughing) - Henry Fonda, you know, so. And I thought, okay, these are some really big movie stars. What was the movie that made John Wayne into a movie star, stage coach, right? Stage coach, John, I mean, Henry Fonda, grapes of wrath, Mel Gibson, road warrior, Mad Max. Now, is there something, you know, subcategory that you could say, is there something that these characters that they played had in common? And there is. And it made me almost be sick. - Oh, what's that? - And it was justifiable homicide. You know, John Wayne was killing, they were killing Savage Indians, not Native Americans, Savage Indians that were trying to threaten the pilgrims. Henry Fonda beat a guy's head in with an axe handle. Mad Max was revinging the death of his family. And I thought, if that's what it takes in order to be successful in business, I don't wanna have anything to do with it. I wanna try to understand why somebody would commit homicide, but justifiable homicide. That's a path, that's a roadway that leads to death and destruction for everyone. You know, that's not something that I wanted to have any part of. And so when Top Gun came, it was, we were killing the ultimate enemy during the Reagan administration, which was a Soviet Union. And I've been to East Germany, and I met Russian soldiers, and they were no different than my brothers or my sister that went to Vietnam. They were just kids. I smoked at the time. I gave them my American cigarettes, and they gave me pins from their uniforms. They were just kids. - Right. - And so when I came back, that was the script that was waiting for me. It was Top Gun. And it wasn't a good fit for me. Full metal jacket on the other hand, which came about six months, seven months later, I forget exactly, was a much better fit. - Yeah, I get it. - Yeah, I respect you for that, man. - Well, yeah, because that takes a lot of balls to say, you know what, this isn't right for me. I'm not gonna do it for a moral. Most of us wouldn't do that. - Yeah, 'cause it was a massive hit. - Yeah, I wouldn't. - Yeah, funny. - But Stanley Cooper, I mean, it's a better one. - But then it's all full metal jacket with your in and one of the most iconic movies of all time. - Yeah, yeah. - I was also offered back to the future when they fired Eric. - Really? - Our friend Eric Stoltz was doing it. - Oh yeah, 'cause I seen the dailies where there's actually, they were another actor. - Yeah, yeah. - Wow. And so you turned that down as well. - Yeah, but when you fire your agent. - No, it was me. When you read it, I'm six three, you know? - Yeah. - Marty McFly is. - He's a Jack Russell. - I'm like a Labrador Retriever. - Yeah. - I was a wrong fit. I just, I said, if I do this, it's not gonna. You could have been Biff though. I could have been Biff. - That's true. - Yeah. And people always say, oh, I love doing back to the future and I think that it's some kind of, like, why do you say that? And I'm thinking that they think that I'm Michael J. Foxx. But it's Christian Glover that they're all. - Oh. - And then I get pissed off because it was like, how could you confuse me for Christophe? Just because I have a nose and I'm white and I have a angular face, you think that I look like a fucking Christophe and Glover? Did you ever see him on David Letterman when he goes, I'm strong. - Yeah, he said he's like on drugs or something. - Yeah. - Right? They cut to a commercial, they come back, he's gone. - Yeah. - David Letterman threw him off the show. - Now, Martin Short, it's one of my favorite characters. I mean, it's like a, maybe laugh, so. - Oh my God. - Amazing. - Are you friends with him? Why did you do? - Oh, that's Christman. - Yeah. - I mean, there's a similarity. Yeah, a little bit, a little bit. - I can see it. A little bit.
- I'm on Team Odin, I don't see it a bit. - I see it a little bit. - The sharp features, I see it a little bit. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I see it a little bit. - Were you friends with Marty? Is that why he goes, "My kids, Matthew, Modin and my girl." - Modin. - We were at a fundraiser, Diane Keaton was a dear friend and she invited me to this thing where the night that they're going to execute all the dogs like Chrissy Nome. - That's a insider joke. - I get it. - Yeah. - I don't get it. - She shot her dog. (laughing) - Yeah, in her biography. - She couldn't train the dogs 'cause she shot it. - Right, oh. - She's a real piece of shit. - Now, if she'd have eaten the dog, we could maybe forgive her. - No, you know she did something really bad if Trump fired her and she didn't even say anything disloyal about her. - Well, she banged out the two dogs. - No, no, no, no, no. - The 220 million, she set up a company to make commercials about her. - Medical operative. - Yes, yes. - It was like a quarter of a billion dollars. - It wasn't an allegation about banging low on dogs. - That's what it was. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I mean, don't get me wrong. She sounds like a fun hang. - That's not what I'm saying. - She definitely a good hang, but you're probably not a great person. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm a dog person, so I'm with you on that. - Yeah. - Where were we? - We were talking about Martin Short. - Yeah. - Because he knows the whole thing. - Yeah, kids are Matthew Modini and you. - We were at a big fundraiser to save the dogs. The night that they're going to go and execute all the dogs, they go in and adopt all the dogs so that they don't get caught. Now they have to find a home and they have to give food and a lot of stuff, so it was a fundraiser for that. And they came over to Marty and they said, "Marty, go up and tell some jokes." And he goes, "Okay, come with me." And I said, "I'm not a comedian. I'm not going up there with you." He goes, "No, come on, it'll be fun." And we went up and nobody in the audience paid any attention to Marty's jokes. He was dying. It was just like everybody drinking and laughing and stuff, but nobody was listening to Marty's jokes. And he kept turning to me and telling me a joke about those people, which was hysterical. So I was peeing myself laughing. And I think that that was, you know, it was, he was, who else was there? Also, it was the other set of twins, Morgan and Mason. So that's James Mason's son. - Morgan and Mason's head. - So it was Morgan and Mason and Matthew and Modini. - Matthew and Modini. (laughing) - I was on a plane with him, flew to the gray cup when Wayne Greskey and Bruce McNullown, the Toronto organauts, got the flight to the gray cup, the Super Bowl of Canada with John Candy and Marty Short. And Marty Short sat next to John Candy and just made him laugh for two hours. It was the funniest two hours I've ever heard in my life. Everybody was like hanging over the seats. - Yeah. - Just trying to hear the next thing. People would be dying, laughing. It would subside for a second. And then Marty Short would say, "I never saw anybody before in my life." - He's so funny, dude. - He's so nice. - He's so funny. He's like one of my favorites. And that character, we used to watch it together, and he was like, "Jimmy Glick." And just die like, it's just so. Wait, what are you giving us? - Was he doing that before between the ferns? He was doing that around the same time, around the center. Maybe before, maybe a little before. Yeah, yeah, there's Galfan out there. - Just a commitment to put on that makeup and be that guy. It's amazing. - And it's just so funny. - What about when it's cutting edge two coming out? It's already come out. They've done like three sequels, but more of Kelly and I, we made a deal. We'd never do a sequel without each other, 'cause Martin. And the next movie, like we made the cutting edge for like $17 million or something in the '90s, which is like a 50 or 60 million dollar movie now. They wanted to make the next one for like eight million. It's like, "No, that's not how you do it." - Yeah. - Everybody gets paid on the second one. - Yeah, yeah. - They offered us like 25 grand to come in for three days. And we were like, "Yeah, go fuck yourself." It was an easy no. And then they kept making these shitty sequels, so. But I think that movie could stand a reboot. 100%. I love that movie. What's the most fun you've ever had on a movie set? If you had to just pick one, maybe it's not the most successful movie or maybe it is-- - Loansome Dove. - Really? Loansome Dove got to hang out with Robert DuVal. Late great, departed. - Yeah, he just passed my hand out. - Then Memphis Spell. - And then Memphis Spell. - Yeah, because actually during Memphis Spell, Matthew had this great place in London. And I don't know if I ever told you this. I think I did. But I was waiting for him. We're gonna go get a coffee or something like that. And I came over and the phone rang. And I never would answer the phone in somebody's house. But I thought it could be Stanley Kubrick. (laughing) - So I answered the phone and it was him. And I could tell from his voice that it was Stanley Kubrick. And I was like, and I could tell from his voice that it was Stanley Kubrick. And he goes, hello, he kind of has a weird, but very distinct, I can't do voices. But anyway, and he said Matthew. And I said, no, no, this is Matthew's friend, DB Sweeney. - Yeah. - And because I knew it was him. He goes, oh, okay, very well. I would please tell Matthew that Stanley called. And I was like, and he went up and I was like, oh, I got him, I got him, I got him. - I'm available. - How did you fake the moon landing? (laughing) - Man, cut, help me. - Yeah. - But I never told him. - You never told him that. - Oh. - Okay, yeah, I did take your podium too. - That's right. - Yes, yes, yes, that was basically. - That was basically, yeah. - Do you think, this is something the internet is very curious about that I've noticed. Do you think Eyes Wide Shut was about some sort of Hollywood? - Hollywood, a pedophile ring. That's, oh, if you go on the internet, that's all it is. - That's how it's talking. - That movie connected. And then they killed Stanley. - Yeah, I mean, that's what Nicole Kidman thinks. - Really? - Yeah, I mean, I think you could Google that. Nicole Kidman is that Stanley was a race. 'Cause he did, but he wanted to make this movie for a long, long time. And he wanted Michael Hare who wrote the voiceover for Apocalypse Now. And maybe the best book about Vietnam called Dispatches. And so Stanley said, Michael told me this. Michael said he came over. He wanted me to read this book, Eyes Wide. Now, it's a real book. It's not called Eyes Wide Shut. - I don't know. - I don't know what the book's called. I don't think it's called Eyes Wide Shut. And Michael said, I read it. And he said, it would have been interesting if you made this movie in the '60s, when, or the '50s, when the book came out. Today, we've lived through the '60s. We've lived through the sexual revolution. It's not really that shocking. He goes, okay, I don't want you to do this one anyway. And he gave him short timers, which was the book for Full Metal Jacket. And so then Michael started doing that. But he wanted to make that before Full Metal Jacket. That was something that was really obsessive about it. The interesting thing to me about Eyes Wide Shut, having been with Kubrick for 20 months, is that Nicole Kidman is dressed in Christiana's Stanley's wife's clothing. She's dressed like, what do you mean? Like the way she dresses? - Like the way she dresses. - Like her, the way she dresses. - Maybe not her actual clothes. - But the style. - Exactly. - Like her, wearing Christiana's glasses. Christiana's paintings are on the walls. - Interesting. - Stanley Kubrick, a Jewish kid from the Bronx, used to go down to Washington Square Park, play chess. You know, a little bit of a beat neck, probably smoke in a little bit of weed, you know, back in the day. And he makes movie Paz of Glory. He marries Christiana, the girl at the end of the movie, who's singing to the Russian soul, I mean, the German soldiers, remember? I don't know if you've ever seen Paz of Glory. - Yeah, I know, time ago. - That's his wife, Christiana. - Interesting. - Wow. - So she's German. He's a Jewish kid from the Bronx, but you're still having no matter that he's Jewish and grew up in New York City. He still has the puritanical aspects of what it is to be an American, right? It's kind of, it's in the air, right? And he marries this German girl. Maybe they're smoking some weed, they're at a party, and they come home and they have that conversation that Tom Cruise and Nicole have about like, well, when I was having sex with you, did you ever imagine somebody else? And Christiana would be, I don't know if you've ever spent any time in Germany, sex is something as part of the culture. It's something that you do. It's something you do recreationally. It's something that provides us with children. - Right. - You know, it's pornography. - They don't have the puritanics. - It's not as taboo. - Yeah. - It's not as taboo. So Christiana says to Stanley, I imagine in my mind, of course I have. Of course I've imagined somebody else while I'm having sex with you. And I think this blows Stanley's mind. And that's why that book meant so much to him and why he wanted to make it for so long. - Interesting. - It was the idea of something that was really haunting him. Kehil Gaboran, who wrote the book The Prophet, the Lebanese, I don't know what you call him, a prophet, a living prophet, Kehil Gaboran. - Yeah, I mean, sure. - Yeah. - He said Keel Gabor. - We speak when we fail to be at peace with our thoughts. And I think that most filmmakers are making the same movie over and over again, trying to understand existence, who they are, what are their fears and desires. And I think that that eyes wide shut is a big, big part of it is Stanley trying, that he wasn't at peace with his thoughts and he wasn't at peace with the fact that this woman that he loved and married and lived with his whole adult life could have fantasized about having sex with somebody else while he was. - So we can learn a lot about the director by watching the films if you read between the lines like Woody Allen, you're going like, "How come the female leads always 19?" Or younger. Or younger, and yeah, interesting. - Yeah, I never heard it that way before. - It is kind of creepy to go back and look at Alan's - It is creepy a little bit. And I'm a fan, I'm a fan of the movies. - They're very tough for me to, yeah, it's tough. I like the car.
- Was that too dark and heavy for them? - No, that was beautiful. - No, I like that. I mean, look, I mean, these are stories people have never heard before. - You're very articulate, well-thought-out, spiritual man, you know, vegetarian. - Thank you. - Yeah. (laughing) - If somebody, if somebody has to, - Not everybody gets it. - Yeah. - These two guys were a lot of fun. - They were a lot of fun, man. - Really, I thought I was gonna do 20 minutes because we don't want to take, you know, - He was actually saying he was going, we're gonna do 20 minutes, we'll keep it about the movie, but we actually had like a busy time. - Yeah, well, you just kept going. - All our fans are gonna check it down to 20 minutes. - Right, yeah, we'll cut it down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, just a few of them. - A-I-D-B, it'll make you look like a mega guy. We'll say everything that D.B. said off camera when you were paying retards, that's all getting in there. And yeah, and we'll think of a wild, you know, catchy name that, like something. Our fans, you guys, they're gonna love you guys. Go see the movie, go see a protector. It's in theaters right now. - Yeah. - Make sure you go see all the films these guys have done over the years. Two legends came in. Thanks for like gracing us with your presence. I appreciate it. - Thank you. - Thank you for having me. - Yeah, I appreciate it. - You guys doing anything else today? - Yeah. - Just this on the press run. - You wanna go to West Garden? - Yeah, what do you guys wanna do? - What's West Garden? - West Garden is a-- - West Garden is what we call a loophole. - West Garden is a massage parlor. And West Garden is something, I think West Garden is a place that if you went there and got a massage, I think you would omit certain things from your diary entry about that day. - This is the sponsor of the podcast. - West Garden does now spawn to the podcast, yes. - We're all gonna be leaving with a box, a little gift basket of oils. (laughing) And yeah, yeah. - But yeah, so DB, I'll get you that address to West Garden. - And Matthew. - I will see you in the temple. - Yeah. - I'll see you at the go. I'll see, yeah. DB at the West Garden. I'll see you at Magic Square Garden. - Thanks guys. - All right, thank you very much, thank you. - Guys, as always, patreon.com/historyhihinas. We have the most fun reading out the names of the newest members of the May Taraki. We would have done it in front of Matthew Modine and DB Sweeney, but DB Sweeney had to get to Trump Rally and Matthew Modine had to go save children in Africa. So they couldn't make it, but they were great. And I hope you guys enjoyed that episode. All right, so welcome to the Patreon, to the May Taraki Harley Zeiss. Then we got Facing Mecca while I take it in the South Bank. Hashtag Solidarity. - Way song she ain't. - Drexler. - Yeah, wow, I thought he was gonna get on. - No, no, no, no, no, yeah, yeah. You make the call that day again. - Facing Mecca while I take it in the South Bank. Hashtag Solidarity, if we take the South Bank, you don't need the Hashtag Solidarity. That's the thing, that's why Drexler. All right, almost, but it is a very good name. - It's a very good name, shout out to you. - Listen, you just didn't need the Hashtag Solidarity. - It's one of those things where every year around this time, March, Man, this college time, a team that's on the bubble doesn't get in and there's speculation about it and there's a conversation about it. I would say this one's on the bubble, it didn't get in and we can have a conversation about it in the comments. - And you just came up with a new one on the bubble. - On the bubble. - He's on the bubble and you didn't get in, you didn't get in. - He's the last four out. Then we got Carmine's Leaky Roof for Pear Company, quietly employing catapult candidates since 1988. - Very good, very good. Then we got Liv M.F. Inserna, Brandon Tester, Chad Braun, UFC 326, Timmy Nobreaks, versus Renee Good, live on Paramount Plus. Okay. - I don't even know what to do. - All right. Oh well, Timmy Nobreaks is a comedian and then Renee Good is the woman who was killed in Minneapolis. - Oh, no good. Yeah, no good. Yep, okay, yeah. - Lad 4D. - But the kid Timmy Nobreaks is funny. - Chrissy D and Yani P slapped their, hold on. Chrissy D and Yani P slapped their PTO third right dreams. Sorry, I picked them a bad read. - Cheesehead Monkey. - Okay. - Kidney made me some fan of the Packers. - Surprised ice agent walked into one. - You got it, you got it. - Lad 4D. - Put it on the list. - Put it on the list, okay. And it's just, what can you do? - So that's another bubble team that made it. - That's just, I wouldn't even call that a bubble. I would call that just got on there. - Don't we got sniffing squeak feet, moves my meat? - Yeah, you like, it likes little feet. - Yeah, it's just. - Nestor Matute, Mick Twisted, Chrissy the Hammer Toe Shark. It's what it is, 'cause. - That's funny. - Hammer co. - Yeah, go ahead. - Hammerhead, Noah Johnson, Kirby, Matthew Oswald, Chrissy D Yani P put it in me or on me, okay. Colin Dockerty, LG, Wayne Sean Chihen, $3 Bob Not Gay, but I like Fat Bitches, Chris Tudor, Mr. AZT. I have cash app and I'm not black. - Chicken figure. - Chicken figure. - That is a rare war and it's an award. Chicken finger is something. - Yeah. - It's a good one. Five inches of snowfall expected, or as my grinder profile would say, eight inches. - Okay. - Okay. - Uh, Muzzy Father, Chris, Muzzy Father Christmas, AKA Sandal Claws. (laughing) - You got it, let's do it. - You got it, let's do it. - Sometimes you gotta do the right thing. - Yeah. - DC, I think even Matthew Modine would approve of that. - He might even put that one on. - DC 2000, Italian Squeak, AKA Chicken Cucklett, okay. Wilson X, Dr. Alchi meets, upgraded my subscription to know more about racism. (laughing) - Glad to see you. - Oh shit, sorry, chicken coffee. - It's all jokes on that level. Everything's a joke. - But it is on the list. - Yeah, he's gotta go on the list. - Yeah. - And I would say probably a contender. - Contender. - Yeah. - Yeah, so we gotta upgrade those tiers, folks. - Yeah. - Doreal Golden Chica, Josh Roberts, Lewis Marano, Alak, Juan Mira, Gang Banged, and 80-style porno called 16 ham candles, 16 candles. - Saw O's Perlman, now I can't find my wallet. - Okay, so that happens and see how, what can you do? - Derek the Honduran. - Derek the Honduran, welcome. - Want one of Nick's boys? - Yeah. - Garrett Hawkins, Connor Durkin, Alp Caraboga, Grock Cuck, like Jesus, Chris got the whole warts in his ass. - I don't get it. - During February, I always think about what Jeffrey Dahmer did to those poor Leroy's, #BlackLivesInBattle, okay? - You have for it. - Listening at work, now my glue has cemented the register closed, okay? - Drexler, funny. - Come on in, Eileen. - Jesus Christ. - 'Cause come on, Eileen. - Last one. - So come on, Eileen. - Yeah, okay, disparage your family. I walked into one, can't do that. - Colonize my colon until the poops turn white. - Put 'em on the list. - Okay, there we go. - Get the catapult out. - Yeah. - Colonize my colon. - Yes. - Until the poops turn white. - Yeah. - I think we got what we call a contender. - Then we got meat needle. - Meat needle. - You like that chicken finger? - Okay. - Then we got first comes love, then comes marriage. Why is there a Leroy in my baby carriage? - The list is what it is. - Another contender. - Another contender. - That happens you have to keep listening to the list folks 'cause you never know when it's really gonna heat up. - You don't know when it's gonna heat up. - 'Cause now we don't know who's gonna wait. - No, we don't. - Not a squeak from the left. I vote to the right. Matt McCarthy. George Bush dodged my shoes. DJT fondled my shooter until I glued and said, "Woo, he went for it." - Okay. - Jose Cruz, pronouns are hey slash babe. Call me sound volcanic asshole. - Alexander Sharp. - John, letting young Sheldon raise my daughters to be autistic lesbians, so I don't have to throw hands with a real man. (laughing) - List. - Inventive. - Yes, yes. - Letting young Sheldon raise my daughter's soul. - Yeah, usually the long ones, there's no payoff. That was a big payoff. - Perry Smith, Lex Rated, Leroy's Medicaid Pirates Plan. Small, yeah. Small Cox outbreak in the black community after Asian man runs through coronavul crews. - Okay. - Deep throat cockboat, Jason Hornsby, Emperor Skid Marcus, Hemroydeus. - Good one. - Building time machine to bankrupt Oscar Schindler. - Okay. - Ways on Jean. - Oh. - He wants to go back and prevent him from saving a few. - Yeah. - Unbelievable. Inventive walked in one. - Okay. - Did Andrew Huckstable orville made a Leroy red and back hurt popcorn? - Went for it. - Yep. Derrick B. Mapussi Amanarak. Dylan Burrow's car. Antimima's court appointed attorney. - Vlad 14. (laughing) - Yeah. - What do I do with that? - Nick. - Nick, what do I do? - Yeah, he said put it on. - Yes, so Nick. - It doesn't say. - Put it on, yes. Eric Jesspin. Adam Allberg. (laughing) Gang bang. - Okay, all right. - Squeeze on the cheek. - I'm gonna cry. - Sorry, Jesse. Cam, AJ Greenwald, Atten, Paneria, Sakalamaru, Misko, John, Makers. (laughing) - He's this bad guy. - Sorry, I told you I won't read those. Epstein's Roblox account. - Nick loved it. - Yeah, Nick liked it. (laughing) - Fuck her. - Epstein's Roblox account, they say he had one. - Vlad 14. - Okay, Vlad, yeah. any delay.
- Davido, Tristan Hogan, Jonathan Guzman, Andrew OG, Shohei Athebat, now something wrong, okay. - Ways she ain't good, but it's walked into one. - Walked into one, yep. What can you do? - Sharp Farts, chicken finger. Abigail Spanburger eats ass. - That's what she does. - Yeah, I guess just somebody's just calling out a friend. Fiddle Fatal, my roast beef saddle, until I doggy paddle. Fiddle Fatal from the JFK's vitamins. - Yeah. Thomas Osborne, big candy. Maple Monkey insulated my igloo with my own goo. - Very good. - Drake Peeler, Squeezen Poop, Johnny, Chris Cowl, and then last but not least, I ate my dogs ass while having a cold sore, and now he has anal herpes. - Okay. - Sorry. - I want to retroactively put the igloo as a Drexler, 'cause that was, that needed a little bit more. Maple Monkey insulated my igloo with my own glow. - Yeah, that's very good. - All right, so the list today-- - Top list, we do have a tough list today, so we have the contender so far, our surprised ice agent walked into one. Sniffing squeak feet, moves my meat. Muzzy Father Christmas, aka sandal claws. Upgraded my subscription to know more about racism. Colonized my colon until the poops turn white. And then first comes love, then comes marriage. Why is there a lee royale in my baby carriage? - Okay, so let's start from the beginning. - A surprised ice agent walked into one. - We, any other day, you have been Drexlered, but it's not our fault, it's not your fault. It's just, wait, what happens? Again, it's just, not that we could do. - You've been Drexlered. Drexler it was a very good player. - Great, hall of fame, hall of fame player. - Original dream team, NBA 50 greatest, but he played in the arrow, Michael Jordan. - It's just what it is. - Muzzy father Christmas, aka sandal claws. - Very good, we're gonna chicken finger you. - Yeah, it's how it goes. - Upgraded my subscription to know more about racism. - We're gonna Drexler it, it could have won, but it got followed up by two biggies. - Colonized my colon until the poops turn white. - We got what we call a runoff. - Yep, and then we got first comes love, then comes marriage. But then I also made a mistake. We also have Ange and Mime is court appointed attorney. - Yeah, we have that one. - Is that, do you want to Drex, do you want to keep that in those three or is Ange and Mime is court appointed attorney not gonna make it? - I think that's a, that's borderline walked. - Okay. - So it's more of a chicken thing. - And maybe and Sabrina Diana, we can put that in the walked into one awards at the end of the year. - That one can go into the walked into one award. - So it is between first comes love, then comes marriage. - Yep. - I colonized my colon until the poop turns white. - I, these are two very good ones. I'm leaning heavily towards one. I'm leaning heavily towards, but again, when we have these two we gotta do vote. - Right. - But I'm leaning absolutely towards colonized till my poop turns white. - See, and I'm leaning towards lee royale in the baby carriage. - Wow. This is what it is, we gotta vote off. - All right, so Jesse. - Okay, so I'm leaning, I'm going with colonized my poop 'cause it's gay and racist. So you got a double whammy. - It's a double whammy. Okay, Nick. - I'm gonna go with colonized 'cause that's all true. - Hey, three to one. - Makes sense and collet. So congratulations. Colonize my colon until the poop turns white. You are the winner. It's also I think if any of our gay fans out there, you could walk up to a guy to bar tonight and say, "I want your colonized my colon." - It's a very funny thing. - Go to history. - Colonize my colon is a funny. - To my poop turns white is a 10 out of 10. Go to, thank you. As always, go to historyhaniesisback.com. See your name up in lights. We are the PPW, the studio penis of the week. And we're gonna continue over at patreon.com/historyhanies.