Matan Interviews a Random Homeless M*dget

Hello everybody, welcome back to the podcast for today's guest. We have a *beep*, we're coming. Thanks for coming. This is a racist stuff. Where'd you find this thing? For today's co-host, we have my manager, viral flooring. Welcome in viral flooring. Where the fuck do you find this thing? Just take a seat please. I got your special chair. Dude, this thing doesn't even fucking fit me. It's too big. What? It's too big. I'm too big. No. Geng, come on now, look at me. It works perfect. You have your little dinosaur toy. You want to get on the back? It's so cute. Oh, good boy. The fuck is your issue? Can you please pull the mic closer to your mouth and then introduce yourself for anybody who might not know what a *beep* is, I guess. Geng, we're normal people. We're just a little smaller than you. But it isn't the whole thing kind of different. When you guys get older, your arms fall off and your brains are a lot smaller. So, you're unable to understand math concepts past the grade seven level? I honestly don't even know what the fuck you just said. Well, you're saying you guys are as smart as us? Yeah, I graduated high school. Tell me this. Name me one philosopher *beep* in the history of the world. What the fuck does philosopher even mean? Name me one expert mathematician *beep* in the history of the world. Me? *beep* I mean, not to my monitor, I can't tell him what to do. What the fuck? I think he's jealous of my dinosaur. No, don't fucking pet him. Who got you? Don't pet me either. But you guys look so funny together. No, you're just mad that you don't have one. *beep* You're about to catch a right hook, Geng. What the hell? Is it illegal to hit one of you similar to like a kid where it's worse legally than hitting a normal adult or no? Yeah, I heard the last time someone hit a little person, they went to jail for 10 years. Why? Because it just killed them? No. They're so weak and fragile. No, because it's racist. Oh, so the hate crime you're saying. Exactly, it's a hate crime. But we're not doing it as a hate crime to you. We don't hate you guys, we just think it would be funny if you started rolling around. *beep* Something like that. That's not rolling around. If you're rolling around, I'm saying I can't roll around right here. I can roll like a football. Okay, we'll move on. Should the term *beep* basketball be used to describe a game where *beep* play basketball or a game where normal people use *beep* as basketballs? All right. First off, you can't fucking turn me into a basketball, so that's not possible. You would be surprised. I think you'd be surprised. I definitely don't bounce. You could play the Russian style where they're just throwing the guy. Or the basketball in this case. Or alternatively, it can just be used to describe *beep* playing basketball with a ball. I think I like to answer A. Oh, the one where they use the *beep* as a basketball? No, Jack asked the other one. You said first. But who the hell is gonna watch that? I'll tell you this. I wouldn't watch that in the million years and I'd watch the other version right now. You know, I bet you if there was an NBA finals for only little people, it would have more views than the actual NBA finals. Absolutely not. Maybe the first time, maybe the first five minutes, and then they realize that it's zero to zero. So like, can these guys even throw a ball that high? All right, that just fucked up, man. I mean, it's true though, I'm not even trying to be mean. We're not fucking vegetables, bro. We could still do normal activities. Okay, I'm talking about throwing a ball like, you know, like seven feet taller than you are. If I won't be one, do you in basketball you lose 20 to zero? You can reach the ball? Yes. Can you bounce it? Yes. It's impressive. Look for you. Thanks. How does it feel to be completely defenseless against small dogs and rodents? You're fucking defenseless too over there, shut up. I'm about to send rodents after his bitch ass. Really? Answer the question. I don't even know. What do you mean you don't know? Isn't it the same answer for both of us? That I'm defenseless against small dogs and rodents? Yes. No, because I'm not. I'm a normal guy. I can either kick them. I can grab them and throw them. Let me tell you. If fucking a little rodent came over to me, I'd be kicking it. Yeah, and then you're gonna kick it. You're gonna fall over and they're gonna start eating your face. You're gonna go up. It's like in a movie. Oh! Something like that. I think you need to lay off the drinks, man. I'm completely sober. I've never even been intoxicated once in my life. You should try a hit. It's pretty good. You've tried it? Maybe what's your mother on it when you were. No, hell no. I was gonna say maybe that's why you came out that way? No. I was just like a unicorn. What does that mean? Like one in a million. I came out as a little shit. Did they know? Can they test that before? Because recently they started being able to tell if babies are **** before they are born. Can they tell if they're ****? No. No? Actually, funny story. When I was born, I was 10 pounds. They didn't even really know I was a little person when I was born. Until like a month later, you were 8 pounds? No. When I was like damn your one, I still almost weighed 10 pounds. Oh, so you just didn't grow at all? Never. Just my head. They probably thought you had like a huge tumor and you were gonna die and then they realized you were ****ed. And they were like, "Hop! Worse than that? How can we. We didn't even consider there was something worse than that." The fuck? We thought we were gonna be able to at least get donations for one of those tumor head babies on a TikTok live. Oh my god. You be donating to those people? Of course not. But they're funny to look at. I'm sorry you guys, so I would get donated to you guys. You donated to me? I'll give you a couple bucks to dance. Fuck yeah. How much money do you think you could make at a swap meet if you were selling a bunch of your **** rolled into a huge ball? Dude, I could honestly probably become a millionaire. Why? Because I feel like a lot of people would want to buy my ****. And is that because why specifically? Because there can be a couple of different routes for that. Well, go ahead, name some routes, and I'll tell you if they're true or false. Okay, there's a crazy guy you got really lucky who just likes buying ****. There's people who think it's funny to buy a huge ball of **** from a ****. That's a good answer right there. That one? Yeah. Maybe it's a big answer right there. Would you still sell it to the guy if you do always like for weird purposes, you know, **** purposes? Bro, I'd sell him the **** knowing that he's gonna rub it on him. But that's really nasty. You're like a **** at that point. You have to make a line. Not at all. Not a ****. You're selling a guy **** so he can rub it on himself for pleasure as purposes. Well, he's coming up to me and buying my ****. So that's his problem. Yeah, he's going and you're like a ****. The guy goes up to them and they offer their money and they get their services. Gang, you just said that the **** was already laid out. So like, no, I said you rolled your **** into a ball. Yeah, and I had it laid out and the dude came and bought it. I'd become a millionaire. Yeah, and these, you know, these ladies are just standing on, I don't know if they've called them that. Whatever they are, some of them are children. They're standing on the street and they're waiting. Their services are already basically laid out if you think about it. Yeah, I took all the **** and business. I don't think that's something to brag about. It's a shitty business man. He's not a play because we're talking about a ball of ****. But in words are riddle. It wouldn't be a riddle. That's for sure. But you said maybe. You don't even know what I'm talking about. Bro, I'm about to **** throw this damn dinosaur at you. You're going to throw your chair out of him? Huh? This ain't a chair game. You're sitting on it. This is Brutus and dinosaur. You put some respect to his name. This is your chair. No, this is a **** dinosaur. You'll buy your sitting on it. I'm **** rocking on it now. You're like such a little kid that you believe is real. This isn't a chair. This is a dinosaur. This is not a chair. This is Brutus, the dinosaur, my friend. Do you go around to different restaurants to sue them if the sink is too high? Actually, it's the mirrors. The sinks I can always reach. Yeah, but the mirrors on the real. The mirrors are always too high. And I can't even see myself. You know that they **** sue people for that, right? I would never do that. They'll actually go around to different restaurants. And if the sink or the mirror is too high, they will sue them. I would personally never do that. But why? You could make so much money. Because I feel like that's just like a little bitch ass move. I agree with you. But don't you think about it like this? 33% of **** are wrestlers. 33% of them are people who go and try to sue people. And then 33% of them are people who dress as Tyrion and Lannister for $500 an hour. Okay, so what would you classify me as all of those? Tyrion Lannister type. What? Look at you, man. You're not a little dinosaur. Yeah, I kind of looks like a cosplay sort of. Like Loki, even if this wasn't here, I'd still want it. Yeah, you can take it with you. I bet. But why wouldn't you do the sink thing? You could make tens of thousands of dollars per try. Well, people will just settle with you because it'll be such bad business for the restaurant. I would never sue someone over a sink. Even if you knew you would get money? I'm not. Yeah, I don't want that money. Okay, it's like dirty money to you. Yeah, dirty money. That's like being a **** Karen. Okay, but they're usually not getting money. But I see what you say. Yeah, you're right. In a new survey conducted by door to door door salesmen, they have learned that it's hard to tell a door to someone who's door they're already knocking on. Why do you think this might be the case? Because they already have the door. So what makes them want to buy a new door if that's what you're trying to sell as a door door to doors door salesman yeah what is that a door to door door salesman a guy that knocks door to door to sell doors so you guys really actually are as smart as usual people yeah what the fuck do you mean we have not a dumbass I would listen I have to test it with the couple questions and see what answer were you expecting out of that I know I wanted to cook it now I'm just making a little kid okay or what I thought you might do I buy the door that's all I got to say so you're in the middle between normal and stupid I fucking buy the door not when what would you do with it you already have when you dumbass I put the fucking door behind the other door so that way your bitch ask gonna get in okay I'm getting through one door but I can't get through the other one well that even make any sense because the second one just is not getting through and why is not fuck around I can't even come up with the night fucking reason for you just it find out I probably find out that if I could get through one door I could get through the other one if I can't get through the first one then I probably the second one has no hinges and no knob I didn't say that that's what the guy offered you what that's the fucking door I bought yeah from who the door to doors doors salesman yeah how you gonna get in there has no knob and how you gonna get out you'll just starving there well I'll go out the back door was then again eating spider for you is like a week's worth of food a spider yeah like a like a house spider what kind of spider like translucent pretty big just one of those spiders that drop in your bathroom from like little crevices thinking he's to see a doctor no he doesn't like spiders I should have brought some spiders for you man he's not scared of them he used to go and hunt them damn hey guys are for the inner option have to let you know that today's episode is sponsored by rumble wallet with rumble wallet you can buy bitcoin whole dollar back stable coins and even digital gold backed by real gold all in one place you can also use it to tip some of your favorite creators unlike other alternatives rumble wallet is extremely easy and simple to set up you get to connect your debit card credit card or bank account to their partner moon pay and you can have your account up and running in just a couple minutes for a limited time when you download rumble wallet and use my code maton 10 M-A-T-A-N-10 you will get ten dollars in U.S. stable coin for the first five hundred accounts activated and funded scan the QR code click the link in the description or go to wallet dot rumble dot com slash maton and download rumble wallet from there you can use my promo code maton 10 M-A-T-A-N-10 to get ten dollars in U.S. stable coin that's maton 10 M-A-T-A-N to get ten dollars in U.S. stable coin for the first five hundred wallets activated and funded thank you to rumble for sponsoring today's episode do people ever confuse you with a little dog and pitch your head yeah I've had it happen a couple times oh really yeah and you get mad or do you understand I mean I don't want just like I understand how dumb they actually are for them to fucking do that but like it doesn't really upset me I move on but what do you say to them they go you don't have to time I just call them dumb ass and work away okay so you do get mad you're calling them a dumb ass I said that well you said like I don't really care I understand that their dumb ass is an old move on yeah but like I was thinking somebody's a dumbass and moving on is different than going you're a dumb ass now you're like getting mad at them verbally instead of just thinking about it in your head sometimes a little bit of both what if you was a little kid that did it oh hi dog I'm gonna right hook the kid is that allowed are you guys allowed to do that no we're not allowed to do that it's not funny it's not funny no why can't hit kids man but it's a fair fight that's not a fair fight man yes it is me versus you is not even a fair fight I completely agree you're gonna die oh I thought you I thought we were talking never mind I thought you meant something else by that I mean what you enough freezer what age are we talking about you versus what a six-year-old you're right it's not fair because you're not maton okay but I'm talking about little kids you are a little kid I'm talking about like somebody who's like I think it becomes fair when they're about nine years old as in because a heightened size at six they're probably about almost as tall as you but they just don't have any muscle mass yeah at nine they're about as smart as you and have almost as much muscle mass at nine years old yeah he agrees I think he wants to fight you I like this guy after all he's not bad he's trying to come on the back of my dinosaur what the fuck maybe I don't like you why what did he say I don't even know I'm gonna ignore him now must have been the wind do you still order the happy meal of McDonald's yeah you do yeah and what do you get six piece McNuggets yeah most most of the time six piece McNuggets maybe a four-piece they don't even have a four-piece yes they do well depending on the mood I'm in what do you mean depending on the mood you're in you just said they didn't even have it what would it be you know it's cheaper to get ten nuggets and it isn't a kid's meal yeah because the kids meal comes with a little funny toy for people like you to play with when you're born in a little fries no what the fuck normally I exchange my fried toy for like ice cream he's not allowed yeah hell yeah that's nice I thought you could only exchange the apples for extra fries I didn't even know they gave you apples what are you getting in your happy meal normally just fries the sandwich or chicken nuggets and a toy and milk most of the time did you probably small pennies in your free time eh you probably take a sack of pennies and just fucking sniff them god damn where'd you find this guy at not to my manager he's mr. beast racist since he only builds wells in Africa think about it I think I don't think so I don't think he's racist then why doesn't he build them in places like Norway or Sweden is he because those people are developed and they don't need fucking wells built in the dirt exactly no that's true I mean I put on mind I mean African need help most of the most other countries don't need help what if we do like survival island means versus Africans it's a fair match up if you can get this going I'll sign up competing it yeah who do you think would win I'd fuck them all up you seem very very overconfident in like I'll fuck you up I'll fuck up 10 Africans who want to eat my school after they've eaten my brain you know what I'll fuck you up I'll fuck up a spider yeah are you making up for something because you know I don't know what you would want to make up for or are you just actually an idiot I got nothing to make up for okay type shit why do people think the sun is bigger than the moon when they're clearly the same size how do you know they're the same size because I look into the sky and they look very similar so you fucking stare into the sun I mean do you not look at the sun every once in a while you don't look in the sky when it's bright out I mean not directly at the sun I mean I'm not looking directly at it but for one thing my peripheral vision and for two maybe I'll glance over it while looking to the other side and don't get a general idea of how big it is true isn't it like when they have like the eclipse isn't it like almost the same size that's another good point how could the moon cover the sun or vice versa if they're not exactly the same size type shit I think we just debunked that theory I debunked it you know you get a credit for it no me scientists want us to believe that they're the same size so they can profit off something I can't explain because I'm obviously just a crazy person so you think the earth is flat around I think it's I think it's more like a square bro what the fuck do you eat in the mornings that's what you probably eat I can see that for sure usually just like maybe some waffles like eggs you know maybe that maybe eggs there all right there's the normal stuff maybe it's not the breakfast and you know don't fuck around don't have to give me involved with this see didn't your chair and behave you're lucky he's here he's trying to make you happy you're getting upset at him I'm about to piece him up you truly think I would go well for you what he could just jump on your head like a goomba he just calls you a goomba no I'm calling you a goomba he's Mario look at him look how he's dressed you idiot he's the super hero in red you're a small little brown guy I believe not really that brown brown yeah it'd be better if you were brown then this would make a lot more sense from the waist down I'm brown did you come up with that one yourself yes stole that off a like ready 12 years ago exactly do little kids usually laugh or scream when they see you I'd say half and half really a direct cut down the middle I'd say which reaction do you prefer and honestly like depends on like the race of the kid too which race is more gonna laugh at you versus screaming all of them they all fucking I don't even know do some of them ever get confused and think you're a little kid yeah they go why does that leave A little kid of a huge mustache. - No, they say, why does that little kid have a big head? - Oh really? - Yeah. - Do you have a bigger head than most kids? - That's what they say, that's what they say. - I never even thought about it like that. 'Cause your head is about as big as mine. - Yeah, but like, look out, like my hat's a big ass hat. Yeah, I got a big head. Like, this is almost maxed out. - Oh, and little kids have smaller heads? - Yeah. But maybe actually be more obvious that you're not a little kid to them 'cause you have a fucking mustache and a beard. - Well, they can't see my mustache when they see behind me. - Oh, well, how would they know how big your head is? You have a long hair blocking your head. - I don't know bro, they always, you can hear that one. - And then you turn around and they go, (screaming) - Yeah, sometimes like a kid. (screaming) - Sometimes I'm not gonna chase them. - You're like really trying to get yourself into some trouble. You're like feeding for an adult to hit you. - You're one of those lawsuit n****s. - lawsuit n****s, yeah, I knew it. - But I would never even waste the time to file a lawsuit. - So what's your background? Are you like white, are you Jewish, are you Native American, whatever that is? - Is it white in Jewish the same? Like you could be in Jewish and white? - No way! - But I'm white to answer your question. - Your white? - Actually, half Russian. - Half Russian? That would be white. - Yeah, so white. - Yeah, there's a difference between Jewish and Russian. It's like evil and good. - What? Why is it evil? - So if I told you I was, I used to be Jewish, you'd be upset right now. - You used to be Jewish, I'm only allowed to do that one. No, I used to be Jewish. - What do you mean you used to be? - I used to be ethnically, ethnically. - Ethically, legally, legally, legally? - Exactly, that word. - Is somebody in your family or mother is Jewish? - My dad was a Russian Jew. - He's 100% Jewish? - Yeah, he was. - And then he got baptized in our own pool, in the backyard, that is Christian. - Fuck you putting your head down for it. You're Satanist. - You're a slyop. - I don't even know what that means. - No, there you go. - I knew there was something with you. It's like, "Oh, this (beep) is too okay with my jokes." - He's allowing me to say some four things. - I know what this is. You're trying to gather evidence on me. I know what. - You're fucked. - Well, I mean, I'm doing this. I'm just saying, "I know what it is." See, I picked up on that. And then you said, "You didn't widen Jewish "the same thing I know what this is." They should have at least got one that's a little smarter, doesn't go for the level one trick. Oh, this is a fun one. Why would be the worst punishment for an unborn baby? Black, paraplegic, (beep) blind. I think paraplegic. I'm gonna just start ignoring you. Now, I can't throw the dinosaur at you, so I'm defenseless. - No, boo. - Yeah, I'm gonna show you a picture, boo. What's your issue with him? You just try. - Imagine setting your makeup, then forgetting it's even theirs. Meet new grippy setting mist from Mabelie, New York. Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours, with flexible all-day comfy grip. No tightness, no stickiness, no residue. Just plump, dewy, hydrated skin. That still feels like your skin. Try new grippy setting mist from Mabelie, New York. - Maybe it's Mabelie. - Looks like you have fun, huh? What's the problem with him? Why are you so hostile? - All he's doing is laughing and calling me a name. - What are you saying? - That's not fun. - It's a peek-a-boo. - No. (laughing) - He's a bitch ass over here. You don't even know how to spell that word, probably. Yeah, fucking dumb ass is writing it. He got it right. - Yeah, of course he would say that. - He got it right. He's like a signature too. - Yeah. - What do you mean, of course I would say that. He fucking spelled this, like the easiest word in the world to spell. He spelled exactly how it sounds. (laughing) Anyways, you need to answer my question. - Make sure you're talking-- - I said a paraplegic. That's the worst. - I'd say? Okay, so rank the rest. Rank it out, put them in order. The worst is not even bad. - Blind? - I mean, that's, okay, that's second bad. - Black? - Whoa. - You got an issue with black people? I didn't say I had an issue with them. I said, what would be the worst curse for an unborn baby? - I'd say paraplegic. Blind. Black. White. A little person. - So it's ideal to be a little person. - Yeah, fuck yeah. - Why? Because you guys get to make $500 an hour from dressing up like an oompa-lumpa. - Type shit. It is an unbelievably good method to make money. I'll tell you this. I had to hire a couple of you guys back for some older episodes. It's like they're fucking stern negotiators. They have like a mob boss running the whole thing. It's like, oh, I need two of them later today. $1,000. - Yeah. - Send it to me PayPal. - Yeah, literally. - There's no way that they're getting 1,000 bucks, though, or like 500 each. This lady is probably, or this guy, whoever it is, usually, is connecting or is collecting almost all of the money probably from the baby. - Yeah, yeah, it is. - So, the way mine works is I know who actually runs it all, so I don't get fleeced, but majority of the time, they get fleeced. - So, who do they usually have you dressed up as? - Uh, what have I dressed up as? - One time I got sent to a girl's house to go wrestle the girl. (laughing) And I did not wrestle her. - I denied it. - But who, but who do you usually dress up as? I don't wanna hear about your escapade didn't happen. That time I was dressed up as like a little luchador. - Oh, really? - She wrestling, see they all go wanting to sit. - Yeah, literally, literally. - They're always trying to toss me, too, and I always tell 'em fuck off. I don't get tossed. I really don't wrestle, either. - One of they offered you a bonus. - They can fuck off with their bonus. - Why? - Because I don't need a wrestle, and then possibly kick myself. - Well, then you get a big lawsuit on your hands. - Well, I'll be fucking dead, so. - But then all of the money can go to, uh, the (beep) foundation. - And you go to my family. - You get rid of them being born, no more. - All right, gang, I hope your son is a little person when he's born. - By the time I have a son, hopefully, a genix has come way further past that word, it's illegal to not get rid of it at that point. It's like, you're gonna keep it, you're going to jail. - Oh! - I mean, come on. I'm a eugenics guy, I'm the eugenics guy, they call me sometimes. You know about eugenics? - No, I don't even know what the fuck that means. - It's really this good, amazing thing that's not controversial at all. Hey, guys, sorry for the interruption. 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Go to chubbyshorts.com and grab your favorites before they're gone. Mr. Sale, don't sweat it. Use my exclusive promo code Maton, M-A-T-A-N for 20% off. That's called Maton. M-A-T-A-N for 20% off. Thank you to Chubby's for sponsoring today's episode. What's the point of a carbon monoxide alarm? Who the hell even dies from that anyway? I've never really a round carbon dioxide. However, you say that word? I'm not even gonna continue that or move on. The only thing I've ever heard about that stuff is it can recirculate into your car and you can just be slowly (beep) yourself. It's probably not the worst way to go out though, is it? Nah. There's much worse ways, I'd say. So actually, maybe we should just remove our carbon monoxide alarms. I agree. Do you live in LA? No. Do you live in New York? I live in the North Pole. No. Do you live in Chicago? No. Do you live in New Orleans? No. Do you live in Tampa? No. Do you live in Seattle? No. Do you live in Portland? No. Do you live in Baltimore? No. Do you live in San Diego? No. Do you live in San Francisco? No. Do you live in New Jersey? No. Do you live in Jacksonville? But you're turning into an unskippable ad. Unskippable ad. Do you live in Boston? No. No. Do you live in Minneapolis? No. Do you live in Miami? No. Do you live in Orlando? No. Do you live in Cleveland? Unskippable ad. Do you live in Baker's Field? No. No. Do you live in Pittsburgh? Fuck off. No. Do you live in San Luis? No. Do you live in Cincinnati? No. Do you live in Denver? There's no way you have all this written down on your piece of paper. Oh wow. No. Do you live in Sacramento? No. Do you live in Philadelphia? No. So, where do you live? The North Pole. Oh, you're like one of those elves. But they're actually usually not like the condensed square form. They're like the tall skinny form. You just call me the square? Sort of. Yeah. I mean, look at you. And I don't mean that with any offense. I'm just being honest. I don't get it. They're depicted more like. You're not in your head, but I don't know if that's a yes. I know what you mean. Or you just want to move on. Which I mean, I agree. Okay. You good over there? (laughing) (laughing) (laughing) (screaming) (screaming) (screaming) (laughing) You done? (laughing) Can you get on this? (laughing) The fuck you want? The mystery of bigotry against little people is significant and cannot be ignored. Throughout time, dwarves have been mistreated for their smaller size and alternative proportions. These kinds of jokes are not funny. It isn't funny to pick up a little person without their consent. It isn't funny to laugh at their size. It isn't funny to treat them as though they were a child. Such as having them sit on a small dinosaur toy. Shout out to Mike Mike. That guy doesn't have a fucking sense of humor. No, Mike Mike is a legend. Black lives matter. You know, it's one of those guys. Not, they even have a sense of humor. He's a legend. You're just fucking piece of shit. You're just fucking letting him in here, huh? What an asshole. He's telling me what I can do? You seem to be enjoying that toy, don't you? I fuck with it. Okay, then why would you agree with what he just said? He said that stuff like that is not okay. Imagine setting your makeup. Then forgetting it's even theirs. Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all day comfy grip. Just plum, dewy, hydrated skin. Maybe it's Mabelie. Okay, because you only had this year because I was a little person. Well, I thought you were a little kid actually. I had a lot of questions written like you. Watch your fray replay, no color. And then you showed up and you had a mustache. I was like, oh shit, and I started changing all my notes real quick. You got the wrong Facebook ad? I mean, it's just hard for me to tell the difference. I don't have like the greatest eyesight. You know what I mean? Not at all. But then when you got real close to me, I was like, you want to try these? Holy shit. (laughing) Ha, ha, ha, ha, real funny. Real fucking funny. You want me to try it? Yeah, yeah, try them on. Yeah, a little bit. (screaming) Oh, it's very scary. Oh, okay. God, never hold on. You want to try them? Can I try yours? (screaming) What the fuck? Can I try yours? Yeah, that's what I thought. (laughing) This is what little kids do, bro. What he's doing right now is what little kids do to me in public. That's what they do. (laughing) No, I have to read George. (laughing) And then you're gonna pause? Yep, out of breath. Out of breath, pause, okay. Can't you breath? (laughing) (laughing) God damn. You said that's what little kids do? He is. What do you mean? When they laugh at you? Yes. But you know they're not doing it to insult you. Yeah, I know. They're fucking, they don't know. They don't know, I understand. He doesn't know any better. Yeah, clearly, look at him. He thinks he's a fucking. (laughing) He thinks he's a Ferrari race car driver. (laughing) This guy probably touches. (beeping) (laughing) (laughing) Sorry about that. Good boy. I'll bite your ankles. Exactly like a dog. He enforces me that you don't act like a dog after I pet your head. You shouldn't threaten to bite my ankle. Bitch, I am a dog. I don't mean like a dog, like a black person dog. I mean like literally a dog. No, I mean like a roof roof mother fucker, I'll bite your ankles. Do you think a dog would get confused like a kid does where a kid thinks you are another kid? A dog might think you're a dog if you get on all fours? Honestly, they just think I'm fucking an alien. Once I'm on to this dog park, and all the dogs were barking at me. Oh really? Yeah, all of them were barking at me. (laughing) He finds that fucking hilarious. Because they were scared of you or was? I don't know, they were literally in a ring all barking at me. And then their owners, they made a circle around. Yes. I had like one, two, three, it was like, where the scary dogs were just no. No, they kind of look like you, little bitches. Oh, oh, I got you. Come on, right here. Yeah. Thanks. If everybody you ever knew started rapidly descending into a state of madness, and you had to sit by and watch, how would you feel? Good question for a bitch. I'd just sit back and let them do them. But how would you feel about it? I didn't ask what you would do. Maybe a little stressed out, depending on you. I'm saying like your mother, your father, all your siblings, if you have any. They're all crazy. They're all rapidly descending into madness. I might run. I don't know if you could save that, that's madness. But you wouldn't even feel bad. I mean, I have to not consciously or I feel bad. You guys don't have compassion. I feel bad. So what would you do? Fucking run though. If they're all coming after me to fucking me, I said rapidly descending into madness. Yeah, madness. I mean, like that doesn't mean they're coming to you. There's a lot of people who have gone mad. A lot more than there are murders. You didn't think about that, huh? True. So think about it and then get back with you, and maybe with your answer please. All right, I'll get back to you. One to three days. This thing's actually starting to hurt my ass. Every chair that you sit on will, because none of them are made for people to your size. Unless you want to sit in a fucking high chair, you want me to get you a high chair? Got what you want? You got one? I can get one. I can get one delivered for the next time, if there will be one. If you can survive that long. So tell me, do you want one or not? No, I'm good. No. I'm good. Okay. I'm gonna just keep rocking right here. Shouldn't you actually get paid more for hunting and endangered species? No, you can't hunt them. But they're far more rare, they're far harder to find, and usually they're in places like tropical zones that are either impossible or near impossible to get to. So let's say there's an endangered purple rhino that is in the desert that you're not allowed to hunt. Shouldn't you actually get way more money for hunting it? Because it's like this unbelievable trophy that not only was hard to find, it was hard to kill, and it was much rare to find. That's just like saying like, isn't it better to get a speedy ticket going way faster? Yeah, but you're allowed to hunt animals in almost every place in the world. Well, you're allowed to go about like five miles and now above the speed limit, you won't really get pulled over. But these are completely different things, will you? No, they're not, you're breaking the law. If you hunt less than way, you're breaking the law. Let's say if you hunt an animal, you're allowed to hunt, okay. It's the law. Yeah, you're allowed to do it. Okay. Why is that a law? Shouldn't the law be, fuck the law? I don't look at laws as the moral background for society. Well, they are, but that's because they were decided by you know who, and that means they're all wrong. They don't want us to hunt them because they're endangered. That might have been a little far. I'm talking about me, it's by the way. Not anybody else. We're not endangered. Well, I, that went off completely, completely off what we were talking about. Let's get back on the topic and there's a lot of us. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I am. Seriously, so why don't I give more money when I try hunting an endangered frog? It's endangered, it's illegal to hunt. What does it matter that it's illegal than we should have the law removed and made a new one? That's just like saying, why can't you not go 20 miles and about both books? Because then you're fucking running to a guy with your car and **** them. Well, you're gonna **** all the animals in the middle. Never be one. But now I'm allowed to **** the purple one, but not the rainbow one or whatever, vice versa, it's ridiculous. We obviously also don't value animal lives as much as human lives. The main concern for driving not recklessly is so you will not **** humans, not so you won't **** run over a turtle. You're supposed to watch out for turtles. Oh, yeah, but if you run over one, then the government will see it and scrape it off the **** street. Yeah, you're right. Okay, well, it's not what they do to people too. When they get ran over, they just scrape it off. Oh, then they start an investigation. It happened to my friend and then he went to jail because he wasn't intoxicated, but really, he just had a couple beers. That was like, he ****ed up, man. I mean, he's in jail, but he's alive. And the other guy who was crossing the street when he was allowed isn't here with us anymore. So would you rather be in jail and you didn't follow the law or would you rather be who knows where dead even? Well, dead for sure, but, you know, because you followed the law. Who really won that situation? I agree. That was a good question. How much money does a **** really need to survive? the same as a normal human that's absolutely not true what do you think our stuffs have cost okay for one you need significantly less food what the fuck of course that's true I mean no what do you talk what are you talking about of course you need less food why less food do you weigh as much as the average person no from here down to here I'm I'm normal gang I'm not even saying this part to insult right no the whole time I've been insulting you in treating you like a little boy because I don't have the best eyesight so I keep forgetting and I'm bad with my memory I'm really just lying it's because of why I found it funny and so did he and it's funny we get to pick on somebody yeah because y'all probably got bully when you're ready but seriously of course you guys need less money not only do you need less food I mean your calorie intake is less you need less water and you need less space to live in a house like we still have to spin the same room for me he's like kind of a small room but sure maybe 60% of my size so if I added a thing in the middle here like a border to separate this part in that part it wouldn't make any sense my head would be hitting the ceiling for you it wouldn't we could turn this into a fucking mansion for you for me would be a complete headache you for me no I need to pay to get by in LA it's probably at least almost two thousand more you're very slow in the brain for you you could get by on probably like you're still staying in the same room is me I just might have what it would face in you it would yeah exactly but it doesn't matter we're still spinning the same we're still spinning the same but I couldn't live comfortably in this one room yeah you could I mean hypothetically I could it would just be an ideal oh look you put a mattress over there a little mini fridge somewhere okay but that's not leaving comfortably that's how you live when you when you know you've managed you're stealing all your money which is why I am here but I'm not leaving comfortably obviously it's a fucking mess everywhere well anyways I think his batteries are running low we're encroaching on the end of the episode because I have to film with long neck now do you know long neck I love long neck oh really yeah I can call right now on God we're gonna see him in about five minutes shout it's a long neck the next guest do you think you could beat long neck in a fight that would be a fair one finally after all the shit you've talked about beating me out beating him out beating normal sized people are beating up Africans I don't think I could fight long neck why too much respect for long neck you know respect for what respect the neck respect for what just respect the neck man does nothing to respect respect that his neck is abnormally long so instead of getting a normal job and living a normal life now he acts like a fucking idiot on Instagram isn't how it you do no because my neck is in long you act like a fucking idiot on YouTube yeah but not because my neck is long because you have a fucking throw no because my brain is maybe a little bit different than the average guy he's he's actually no this is also messed up but in a completely different way yo if someone's knocking on your door later don't ask questions do you think you could beat him in a fight I'm not knocking on his door someone else will be not him long neck the next guest in a minute I would never fight him if you had to nope wouldn't have to fight him hypothetically never you're paid to do it don't even know what hypothetically means okay you are not fighting long neck you're fighting a cloned evil version with the exact same stats and attributes as long neck could you be that guy in a fight as long as it's not long neck yeah you could though yeah even considering his physical attributes yes I'll tell you this I agree okay thanks for coming on the show oh yeah thanks for being a good sport about it hopefully you'll see long neck on the way outside and hopefully I didn't offend you or he offended you with any of the horrible things we said to you la we didn't never I appreciate it I could take this home yes that's all yours I'm going to go now yeah I bet imagine setting your makeup then forgetting it's even theirs meet new grippy setting missed from Mabelie New York Zelda Miss technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all day comfy grip no tightness no stickiness no residue just plump dewey hydrated skin that still feels like your skin try new grippy setting missed from Mabelie New York maybe it's Mabelie