10: Mastering The Law of Detachment

Welcome to the Babbage Guide to Manifestation. Consider this podcast your weekly fix of mindset development, manifestation, and of course Babbage Energy. I'm your host, Maddie Cleary. I'm a self-development speaker and lifestyle influencer who is here to help you step into who you're meant to be. If you've ever been told to be realistic or play it safe, I'm here to respectfully say, "Fuck that." In my world, anything is possible. This is your safe space to dream as fast as you want because here we are making shit happen. I'm here to help you remember who the fuck you are so that you can create your dream life because it is possible. Now, let's dive into the episode. What is up guys, welcome back to the Babbage Guide to Manifestation. This is the final episode of season two of the podcast, which is so crazy to me because I have loved all the podcasts that I put out this season. I have loved all the new people that have come into this podcast this new season. And it's just crazy that we are wrapping up season two. So with that being said, I also wanted to let you guys know that I will be rebranding this podcast. It's going to be the same type of content. I think I'm going to incorporate a little more of just like self-improvement, confidence, self-development, habits, that kind of stuff into the podcast as well. But we're still going to be doing the manifestation, the mindset. I want to incorporate more money, financial talk as well, into this next season. So we're just going to branch out a little bit more and talk about more things. But this podcast is due for a rebrand. I look at the cover now and I don't know how to describe this to you guys, but the best way I would describe it for you guys to relate is that I look at my podcast cover and it's just like thinking back to something cringey that you did in eighth grade. And maybe you might look at like an old facial picture of yourself from eighth grade and you're just like, you what the fuck? Or you just think about something cringey that you did and embarrass yourself in front of a guy in eighth grade or something like that and you just cringet yourself. That's what I feel like when I look at my podcast cover and it just feels like an old past version of me. So it just do for revamp, do for redo. And so I'm really going to take this next month and a half to really go through the podcast, redesign the cover, figure out my whole editor situation, just try to get everything on track. So I can really start to make this a huge priority in my life because of some of you guys know, this has been something that has kind of just been on the back burner for me. But I have just loved the community of women that I have just attracted to this podcast and just people in general. You guys are also amazing that message me and I just love hearing just everyone in your guys stories and how my podcast has helped you it literally means so much to me because I sit in my room and I record this and I edit it by myself. And so it's just so crazy to see how many people I'm reaching all over the world. I get messages from people saying they live in Zimbabwe and Russia and Singapore and Brazil. And it's just so crazy to me that this podcast is all over the world and that there's just like hundreds of thousands of people that are listening to this is just, it blows my mind. It's awesome. And I just love you guys so much. And I think you guys are all so awesome and some of y'all cracked me the fuck up in my Instagram DMs. I think you guys are just like hilarious. It's so awesome getting to know some of you guys. And I just know that I attract the coolest people to this podcast and I'm so grateful for you guys. And we're going to keep going and we're going to keep moving with this pod. So with that being said, if you guys haven't subscribed to the pod already, make sure you do so so you don't lose me. I'm going to be changing the name of this podcast, but if you look at Maddie Claire, you should be able to find it as well with the great brand. But just in case I know in Apple podcast, it's a plus sign in the top right corner and that's how you're going to be able to follow the show. And so that way, as soon as we do the rebrand, it will pop up on your Apple podcast. For Spotify, I'm not too sure, but I'm pretty sure it would be the same similar directions, somewhere in the corner where you can follow the podcast. So that is just kind of my intro for the last episode of season two. As you guys can already tell by the title of today's podcast episode, we're going to talk about the law of detachment and this is such a huge thing in manifestation and confidence in general that I think is the key to getting anything you want. And I know that might sound like really broad, but it really, really comes down to being solid in who you are and knowing your worth. Once you know your worth and you know what it is that you bring to the table, you're good as you are. You don't rely on other things outside of yourself. You don't need other people's validation. You don't need other people's approval for you. You don't need anything from anyone else. So you're detached from the outside and you're not like putting anyone on a pedestal. The only thing that you're putting on a pedestal is yourself and yourself worth. And as you energetically do that for yourself, you start to see that your external reality reacts that way when you see yourself like that internally. So I'm going to really break down what the law of detachment is in this podcast and how it is really the secret to manifestation, getting what you want and really owning your own confidence. So we're going to talk about law of detachment. We're going to talk about the whole pedestal dilemma. And I also wanted to touch on something that I like to call vacation mindset. So that is something else I'm going to tap into this, but this is all going to tie into the law of detachment and how to master it in your own life and how to really utilize that with your own manifestations to become more magnetic to the things that you want in your life. Whether that's career, finances, love life, friends, law of detachment, you can apply to any area of your life and it is like the secret formula to manifestation. I like to say. So that's what we're talking about in this podcast episode. Okay. I also wanted to pop in here real quick and let you guys know that I am going to be doing 50% off of all of my digital products with a secret coupon code that obviously I'm only telling you guys, of course. So the secret coupon code is just going to be the letter S in the number two, S2 standing for obviously season two because it's the last episode of season two. It's going to be 50% off to every single thing that is in my digital storefront. So you can use this coupon code more than once, but it does expire May 18th. So you only have a little bit over a week to use this coupon code. But as you guys know, I have workbooks for manifesting relationship. I have workbooks for changing self-love within yourself. I have workbooks for shadow work and I even have a digital planner that I use to help plan each goal for each aspect of my life. So those will all be linked in the show notes below and all you have to do is just apply that coupon code at the checkout and yeah, this is just kind of my way of saying thank you guys for supporting me, supporting the pod. I know I'm going to be going for quite a bit so I just want you guys to take advantage of this. Okay, now let's get back into the episode. I'm going to do some brief life updates for you guys so we can just dive into the content. Your girl has been busy. I have been taking so many trips recently guys. I can't count. I've been to Florida twice this past month. I'm thinking about maybe moving on there. I don't really know. So I've been checking out like beaches and places down there. It's been really fun and I've also been seeing the sky. I don't really want to go too far into that because my private life is private. Okay. I don't really like to be like super high key about my dating love life until like I really feel like I need to but I kind of like to be a little mystery with that. So yeah. And then now this weekend coming up, I have my sister's college graduation which is also in Florida. So I have just been like flying an on stop. I have been like out of a routine and it's felt a little chaotic and overwhelming. But I am still feeling good. I'm still working through the chaos and I know that life isn't always going to be a hundred percent perfect, perfect routine. Everything's going according to plan. I'm just making my way day by day through the chaos of it all. So that is really all the updates I have for you guys. So as I'm talking about the podcast and the rebrand, I am not going to be back on this podcast for another month and a half. So it's going to be like mid-June. If you guys want the exact date, I will be posting updates over on my Instagram, Maddie Cleary and over on TikTok at Maddie.cleary. If you guys want to follow me between that and I will give you this updates. If not, girl, I will see you when I see you next month. Okay. I'm just going to miss you guys, okay, so love you guys so much. It's going to be good and I'll see y'all after the rebrand. So now let's get into the podcast content. So when we talk about the law of detachment, this is something that's brought up a lot in the manifestation community, I guess you would say, but another thing that I would like to say that law of detachment is is kind of just like the sense of confidence and independence within yourself where you enjoy your own company so much and who you are at your core that you are good as you are right now. Yeah, you might want friends that should you really well or you might want to partner. Like that would be a fun experience to have, but you don't have this big need for it. This like wanting energy where it's like, I need to have this or I'm not fulfilled. [BLANK_AUDIO] are fulfilled as you are right now and your cup is full and because your cup is full and you like where you are right now, you start to put yourself on the pedestal because you start to see yourself as someone that is of high value and knows their worth and knows what they bring to the table. So why even bother chasing other things? Because when you are so good and you're so fulfilled and who you are as your own person, things come to you because you're not chasing you are attracting, you know, that whole thing, I don't chase, I attract. When you are solid in who you are, everything comes to effortlessly opportunities, people, friends, relationships, potential partners, things just float to you and you have to really work on your internal reality first. So what the law of attachment is the best way I would describe it is when you need nothing, you attract everything. So when you are solid in who you are as a person and in your own self love, things just come to you. You know those people that work out 24/7, they take care of themselves, you know, they dress nice for themselves on a day-to-day basis, they dress nice when they go to the grocery store or whatever, those types of people, those are the people that are out there chasing relationships, like trying to get certain people to date them. Those are the types of people that they are just being their self on the day-to-day basis and they're doing things that make them feel good, that make them feel confident. In people come to them, people are intrigued by them and their own energy and they want to know more about them because they're so self-involved, they make themselves the center of their reality, they don't put other things in the pedestal, they don't put the validation of their peers in the pedestal, they don't put dating certain guys in the pedestal. They are just solid in who they are and they know that they don't have to chase anything because when they are just being themselves and they are whole and their cup is full, things just come to them effortlessly. So I'm going to give you guys three steps to really master the law of detachment so that you can apply this mindset into your own life and really start to shift your internal reality and as you do when you work on this within yourself, you will start to see that that will be reflected back to you in your external reality. So step one for mastering the law of detachment is you need to be fine in the now. So what I mean by this is let's say right now you're weight-your-sing somewhere and you really want to get this big design job in New York City that is making a certain amount of money whatever that is. So as you're weight-your-sing and wherever you are right now, let's just say you're in your hometown and you have this goal to have this career and move out to New York City and you have that in your mind. If you were like I hate where I am right now, I hate who I am right now, I hate everything about like my life right now and you're in this like desperate energy where you're like I need to get out, I need to get out. But it's kind of like by being the desperate energy of hating your current now, you're putting that New York City lifestyle on a pedestal and you're putting that job on a pedestal and you're seeing yourself worth way below that. Even though like obviously that current circumstance of you know you weight-your-sing in your hometown right now or whatever it is is obviously not ideal for you. That's not really the end goal and you know that that's why you have that internal drive within you. Even though that's not ideal, you need to start seeing it at a place of neutrality. And a way I like to kind of think about this is I've seen a lot of people on TikTok where you know they'll do a point of view kind of thing or like they take a video themselves cleaning at like their local waitress or bartender job or whatever and they're like I'm working in the customer service industry not in like a waitress kind of way but in a come-up story kind of way. You just know this is just one step in your path of your entire journey and it's not a huge thing you don't have to internalize it. It's just a step that's going to get you closer to that end goal. So you need to be fine in the now and you need to see your current circumstance as neutral okay. You cannot hate your current circumstance so much and constantly dwell on how bad it is because if you're spending all that energy dwelling on how shit your current situation is right now you're losing space in your mind to create the future and you need to take all that energy and all that attention and focus that on the future of what it is that you want to create. As I'm saying this I don't want you to put that future of what it is that you want to create on a pedestal or you're looking up at it and you're seeing yourself now way below it but I want you to see it at eye level. I want you to see it as yeah okay maybe I am currently a waitress at whatever restaurant but mentally I'm one of the best actresses out there but mentally I'm one of the best fashion designers out there. In my mind I have skill that no one else has or in my mind like I am the type of person that deserves to be living in New York City like who I am in my court in my internal reality I deserve that. What's happening my external reality doesn't matter right now so you have to see that at eye level and you have to see that in a place of neutrality. You have to accept your current circumstance now and say you know what yeah this obviously sure it isn't ideal this is it but it's all a part of the stepping stone this is all temporary what's happening right now in my external reality does not matter okay your internal reality that you have right now is going to determine the life that you have six months from now is going to determine the life that you have three months from now is going to determine the life that you have a year from now is going to determine the life that you have two years from now. So you need to focus on the internal reality because your internal reality is what's going to ship your external reality. There's something called a law of gestation that you know they talk about and like manifestation like that kind of community I guess you say but what the law of gestation is is there is a certain waiting period before certain things manifest into your life so for example when I thought about moving to Bali and doing that I had that in my mind I would say a year before it actually happened so I had to figure out you know where I was going to live I had to figure out what I was going to do with my California apartment I had to figure out what to do with my furniture I had to figure out if I was going to quit my nine to five or not I had to figure out all these certain things before that but my internal reality a year before I moved to Bali in my mind I was already going to do it I knew it was going to happen I just didn't know exactly when it was going to happen but I had to plant that seed months before it actually happened so that's what the law of gestation is is like we have to have it vivid in our mind and plant that seed now so that months down the line it can come into fruition but you have to start planning the seed now of the life that you want and I want you guys to really really focus on just seeing your current circumstance as a neutral and like not having any negative feelings towards it you have to just accept it and like once you reach this acceptance it's kind of a way to off your shoulders because you're like okay this doesn't matter this doesn't mean anything this doesn't affect my outcome of where my life is going to end up this doesn't affect me living in that beautiful house in Malibu a couple years down the line okay that's all still going to happen this is just a stepping stone getting me a step closer to that life I want so that's how you have to see it so first step as I said like kind of just going over it is you need to be fine in the now and you just need to enjoy the journey of it all so everything that's happening right now every single day is getting you a step closer to whatever reality that you're trying to create for yourself right and we don't really have all the information like God the universe I think places certain people certain events as science and kind of pushes us through and gives us hints of like what we should do next and we know intuitively what we should do or where we should go or who we should talk to we know this with ourselves within our own intuition the reason you have the desires you have is because God placed those within you because that is what you're meant to do you wouldn't have those desires if they weren't meant for you because everyone's desires are different so we all have certain desires and we all have certain things that we want out of our life in career and finance in love life or whatever it is and so if you're thinking of like this goal of being in a relationship or working a certain career or moving to a certain place and you have that goal in mind and every single day you're saying like dreading the days going into it and you're just dreading like the day-to-day monotonous routine or just like getting closer to it you're not detached from the outcome in fact you're so attached to the outcome that you have it in an energetic chokehold as I like to say and this energy of like taking this thing that you really really want and being like my life sucks if I don't have this right now it's a very unattractive energy because you're basically saying right now you as a person without this thing you're not holding complete you're a person you're going through the daily motions you're doing everything but if you don't have this your life sucks is what you're basically saying to yourself so what you have to do to really master this law of detachment is as as I said you know be fine in the now but you need to enjoy the journey of it all stop trying to rush to the destination of where it is that you're going you're gonna get there one day it's gonna happen eventually but if you're taking every day you're like fuck just another day living just another day living this walk in talks whatever every day it's just gonna feel like hell do you like it it just is so you have to accept that it's going to be okay and enjoy the journey enjoy the day-to-day routine the best way I can put this in to terms for you guys to understand is I want you to imagine that God was to come to you and he was gonna give you a check for a million dollars or something like that. He told you, "Hey, here's the check for a million dollars." you're gonna get this within the next two years. I'm not gonna tell you specifically exactly when you're gonna get it, but just know that you're gonna get it within this two year period. So if you have this check and you were walking around with it in your back pocket or in your wallet, you're not really going to worry. You're not gonna be like, oh my God, the $2 million is like, when is it gonna get here, when is it gonna get here, when is it gonna get here. You have the check in your pocket, you know what's gonna come in the next two years. So you're just gonna go through your day with more ease. You're just gonna have this like underlying knowing that you know what's gonna happen. And so you're more present throughout your days. You're more just focused on the day to day and enjoying each day as it is. And you're not just like gonna have this like needing desperate energy. You're just gonna walk around with ease knowing that it's gonna happen. It's just something that is going to happen for you because you know and you trust and you have faith. So with whatever goal that you have in your life, try to use this in the same way. Try to walk around with this underlying faith and underlying belief that you know that that thing is going to happen to you. And if you're someone that wants to strengthen your faith or wants to strengthen your belief, speak out to God more. Pray to God more, pray to the universe, pray to God whatever you like to call it or whatever your form of prayer is. Do that more, do that in your everyday and you will walk around life with more ease. You will be more inflow, you'll be more trusting, you'll be more present. It is such an amazing thing to do because when we're not connected and we feel like we lack that connection, we are just like constantly in a state of kind of chaos within our own head because we feel like everything falls onto us in our life. And when we start trusting God and we start trusting the universe and we start speaking out and building that connection intentionally throughout our day, we move through life with so much more ease because we trust God and we know that there's a greater plan in store. We know that we don't have to know every single bit of it but we're here to play a certain role and we're here to take certain steps in order to get there and everything else will figure itself out. Everything else that is working in the background will come to you when the time is right. So if you're someone that wants to just have more faith and trust within God in the universe, I would really just recommend using that form of prayer, pray or speak out to God whatever you'd like to call it and try to make that just a daily habit. It doesn't have to be anything super long. You don't have to do a formal prayer before you actually say what you want to say. You could just speak out to God like you're speaking out to best friend. I like to do this in the car sometimes. I like to do this when I wake up in the morning. I will do it whenever I'm like having trouble completing something. Like if I feel like I need to fall back into a habit of procrastination, I will start speaking out to God. I'll say God, please give me the strength to finish this task. Please give me the momentum for just five minutes to make me do this one thing. And I will take it and I will run with it. So use this for yourself on the day-to-day when you feel like you need that extra boost of trust. So first step to applying law of detachment into your own life is to really be fine in the now to enjoy the journey of the day-to-day and not the destination. Another thing I kind of wanted to touch on that with the whole point of enjoying the journey, AKA like the day-to-day routine of it and not the destination, AKA the end goal. Another example that I wanted to say with that quote is let's say that like you're manifesting a social media following and you want like 100 K followers or something like that on Instagram or on TikTok. Instead of like worrying so much about the 100 K followers in like getting them, creating content and just like your only outcome of creating content is to get the followers like to come immediately. Instead you have to enjoy what you're creating. When you enjoy the content you're creating on the day-to-day you let go of the external validation of others, you let go of the results of like wanting these certain amount of followers or wanting these certain amount of likes. You release all of that because when you like what you're creating it feels natural to you, it doesn't feel forced and you would thoroughly enjoy it. You thoroughly enjoy doing the thing. So you don't really care about the follower account because you're liking the craft that you're doing. And as you are in flow and you are creating from a place of genuinely enjoying it and from a place of authenticity you become more attracted because people can see that off you. I feel like even with myself I liked to really do the manifestation content in the beginning but like as I've told you guys before on my TikTok like I just felt way too forced. I just like felt like I was saying the same thing over and over and over and over again. I obviously love doing it on this podcast because I feel like this is the perfect space for me to like say all my thoughts about it. But from my TikTok perspective, it felt very very forced at a certain point and you can like tell the energy in my videos. Like I just look at them back and I feel like it's not my full personality. Like I feel kind of robotic almost and clocked out and it's because I was forcing myself to create that certain type of content because I felt like I had to maintain that certain image for my audience if that makes any sense. So when you are forcing something and when you don't thoroughly like something people can feel it from you and it's almost like something that's just not attracted because people don't wanna be attracted to people that don't like what they're doing. People are attracted to people that like what they're doing that are confident, that are inflow, that are fine, that are creative. So whatever it is that you are trying to call into your life make sure it's something that you genuinely enjoy on the day to day basis and focus on enjoying every single day. Focus on enjoying the now and have that underlying faith that you know it's gonna happen and I think by having that underlying faith of knowing it's gonna happen all comes down to your connection with God and your connection with the universe. The enjoying of the day to day comes down to is this something that you really wanna do and how are you in the present? Can you stay present and can you stay grounded and can you stay happy in the now and really start to practice that with yourself. So release that energetic chokehold of needing that thing right now. Know that it's coming, enjoy the now. See your current circumstance from a place of neutrality and also another thing I wanna add on with this love of detachment is just stop putting time limits on yourself. This is something I would do a lot with my goals and I realized I had way more underlying pressure and stress when I had like a certain goal of I need to move to this exact place by this exact date or I need to make this amount of money by this exact date or whatever. If I just focus on the amount of money I wanted to manifest, I realized I'm just way more chill with my manifestations and I'm way more relaxed as opposed to if I was like, I need to manifest X amount of money by the end of this month. Because when you put those deadlines like that, you have this underlying pressure, this underlying kind of stress and when you're in that stressful state, you're not in flow and your energy isn't as flexible or open to the universe. So you wanna make sure that you are in a state of flow in fun when you're manifesting because that is the most attractive energy and something that just helped me with my manifestations is I stop just putting time limits. Or another way is like, if I have goals that I wanna accomplish this year in 2023, I'll just focus on like these are the things that I wanna accomplish in 2023 and I wrote them all down. I'm not gonna give it specific months of this needs to happen when this needs to happen then. I'm just gonna allow God to make it happen whenever it's right to happen. And like if I had a list of six of the things and you know four of them happened in 2023 and let's say like two of them happened in the beginning of 2024, I'm fine with that because for me that's still money. Everything's still happening within this year. So I'm not gonna like overly stress about the exact time limit. So let go of those time limits that you put on yourself. You know, let go of the energetic chokehold of needing this thing, come from a place of neutrality of your current situation and know that you just have to plant the seed now in your mind of what it is that you want to create in your angle. And remember to just be fine and they now. Be happy and they now. Look around at you right now. Life will never be the same as it is right now in this period of your life. This is just a chapter of your life. Enjoy the people that are around you. Enjoy the friends that are around you. Look for the positives in your current situation and know that that is all serving a purpose. Maybe when you move to New York City and you get that apartment and you get that dream job, you know, you're gonna miss your friends from where you live now. So just enjoy the good parts of this current chapter of your life, accept it from a place of neutrality and have it underlying faith and belief. So the second step that I wanted to talk about of mastering the law of detachment is to put yourself on the pedestal. So I know you guys have heard me talk about this a lot and I will die on this hill. This is literally one of the most important things that I think I teach just like in my podcast in general and something that I just need you guys to master because when you put yourself on the pedestal, it's just like shit goes well for you. You know those people in life who are just like, why is shit just always working out for them and why are they just like always just having this good shit happen to them just so effortlessly? It's because they naturally in their mind always have themself on a pedestal and they might not even know that they're doing this. It's just like a natural program for them that they've just been doing their, they're out their whole life. So that's their norm. That's how they see themselves and they're like, this is normal that I get all this free shit all the time or this is normal that I am treated this way. It's because they have had that as the norm for so long they don't know anything else. And you can integrate this into your life too. You can learn this step by step. My guy friend in college, he wasn't like the most stereotypically, quote unquote attractive guy or anything like that. He had like a really good personality but like because he was such a finesse and he was able to just kind of work on his strengths of like his personality and everything like that, he put himself on the pedestal and people started to react that way. He always had like really. beautiful girls that he was dating that like really liked him. He had all these job opportunities all the time. He would always get to like skip lines in the club or make friends with people and get into the VIP like club sections and it's all because he saw himself on that pedestal and he taught himself that way. Even if he could have been like you know I'm not there was a tractor guy in this club like there's so many other tractor people like I'm not like I don't have any like talent or skills or anything that he could sit there and pay party himself all day. But what he does instead is he focuses on his strengths and he maximizes it and he sees himself on a pedestal and he sees the value that he brings and because he sees that and he views himself that way his external reality reacts back to him in that same manner. Meaning that because his internal reality he sees himself so high his external reality the people around him in his surroundings react in a similar fashion. So when I want to talk about with the putting yourself on the pedestal. So I always kind of talk about this my podcast but I'm just going to brush over for anyone that is new here. I talk about this thing called the energetic pedestal quote-unquote. So we have different relationships with different aspects of our lives. So you have a relationship with your love life like how you view yourself in your love life. You have a relationship with how you view yourself in your career. You have a relationship with how you view yourself with money. You have a relationship with how you view yourself with friends. You have a relationship with how you view yourself with your own self confidence and own self image etc. You have a relationship for every single aspect of your life and how you see that aspect determines how it shows up for you. So when we talk about the energetic pedestal let's say that you start to date again and you have had these beliefs about dating where you feel like men treat you like shit or all guys are cheaters or there's no gentleman out there anymore like no guys want to pay for you or like hold the door for you like all men want to do is just like split 50-50 now on every single day whatever. If you have certain beliefs like that and you're going into relationship you are going to put anyone that gives you just the baseline bare minimum behavior on an energetic pedestal. You're gonna put them on the pedestal and you're gonna see yourself forth way below that because what you're saying is oh my gosh wow this is a good guy even though he's literally just a mediocre mildly attractive man that is just giving you the bare minimum of being respectful. You're going to still say to yourself oh my gosh he is such a good guy and you're gonna put him on an energetic pedestal and because you're putting him on a pedestal and you're seeing yourself forth way below that you are going to repel them away from you because when we put things on a pedestal and we make the importance so important and we're like oh my gosh this is so important and I'm down here but I need to have this. You're making it run away from you it's like that quote where it's like if you treat someone like a celebrity they'll treat you like a fan even though you may not be saying this to their face you have this sort of energy when you go out on dates of kind of like having the expectation of what you want out of that person and this could be like the first date you're still getting to know someone of the second date like you don't know anyone after probably like I would say five dates at least you get a good idea but this could be like the first or second date in like surface level they're attractive you know they have a pretty good personality a little good banter there's a little bit of chemistry there you're still getting to know who this person is but in your mind if you have dating on a pedestal you are going to have these like underlying expectations of what you want out of this person you're like okay I want this person to be my boyfriend and I want them to want me to be their girlfriend and I want them to make an effort for that next day and I want them to ask me on the next day and you're thinking all this in the back of your mind it's like an energy shift like you can feel that there's that underlying expectation there of what it is you want out of this person whereas opposed to someone that masters the law of detachment they go into dates with the mindset of like just having fun and I'm not saying just having fun is like you know you know those spicy stuff that happens behind the scenes girl we're not gonna get into that that is not PG 13 okay I might have to go that part out that's not what I'm saying but if that's if that's your vibe that's your vibe girl I am not here to judge okay I've lived both sides of the coin okay but when I say go into the date with the expectation to just have fun I mean to just go as an experience to connect or someone and if something comes out of it that's awesome but it doesn't then it's just getting you closer to the next person that is going to be that every no is getting you closer to your next yes when I say to go out on dates with the expectation to just have fun I mean just enjoy the moment and people that master the law of detachment they like who they currently are right now they like who they are they feel solid in who they are they like where they're going they like where they're heading in life they are competent as they are on their own they don't really need anyone they love to have friends they love to have certain people in their life but they don't need or rely or depend on things outside of themselves they are whole and complete as they are any other person that they and by into their life is just an addition to their own happiness so people that master the law of detachment when they go out on dates they have this expectation to just have fun in the process and this just means to just like go on the date as an experience it's gonna add to your dating experience it's gonna add to your social skills it's gonna tell you what you are looking for in a potential partner it's gonna tell you things that you're not looking for in a potential partner and it's kind of a learning experience and when you're in this like chill relax mode it's so attractive because you're not really holding an expectation on the other person and they can feel that and they like can feel that you're just there to have fun and you're free flowing and you're just like such a fun person in life and that is so attractive to the other person because they're like wow like they are just so cool they're just being so themselves they're so authentic this is intrigued me I want to know more about this person and the number one way I would describe this is I like to call this the vacation mindset so this is actually in my third point but I want to just kind of like brush over before so the vacation mindset is something that I like to talk about where whenever I go on girls trips with my friends I always just like you know somehow me to guy and it's just really fun and it seems like we hit it off so well and like we've known each other for like gears and it's because I'm in such a vacation mindset where it's kind of a thing of like you know we may never see each other again let's just have fun as we are here right now and you know if something comes out of it it does but if something doesn't whatever like we just met on vacation there's no expectation there and so because there's no expectation you are just so yourself because you don't care because you're like fuck it I'm never gonna see these people again why the fuck doesn't matter and maybe some of you guys can relate to this like when you go on trips or when you go on vacations and you're with your friends and you're just like talking to other groups of people that are also vacationing it's a very fun and happy and free flowing energy you're just kind of like going with the flow you're meeting people you're having fun you're socializing and that energy is so attractive and I think this is why like I always meet certain guys when I'm on vacation that get really into me is because I'm just in this very very free flowing energy almost and it's a very different energy as when like you're going on dates in the city that you live in because you both kind of have that like underlying expectation of well where is this going to go whereas opposed to when you're on a vacation mindset you're just like taking a day by day you're having fun and there are no expectations there so what I mean by this vacation mindset as I want you to apply this with your own goals is to just have fun in the process and as you have fun in the process that energy is so attractive and you're not worrying about getting certain things out of people or getting to those end goals you're just having fun in the moment and that energy attracts so much good fucking shit I swear so the second tip to mastering a lot of attachment as I said is I want you guys to put yourself on the pedestal and I know I already kind of talked about this but I just want to go over like how you can actually put yourself on the pedestal so putting yourself on the pedestal is is basically seeing yourself worth very high so you need to love yourself and you need to have a full cup stop giving your energy to everyone outside of yourself and figure out what they fuck you want what is it that you want what makes you happy and what makes you feel good and do more that basic starter pack to filling up your own cup get eight hours of sleep move your body five times a week it doesn't have to be anything crazy look literally go on a ten minute walk you're doing better than like 90% of the world okay get eight hours of sleep move your body five times a week and connect with God connect with your connection whatever and that is going to make you feel so good if you practice that that is like literally just the bare minimum but if you just are consistent practicing that you are going to notice how much more energy you have and because you have more more energy you're gonna start to feel more confident because you're taking care of yourself and you're nourishing yourself and when I say put yourself on the pedestal I think a lot of people think to themselves that yes I do think you should build a foundation of you know moving your body and getting those eight hours of sleep but even beside that fact I want you guys to know that like who you are as you are now you are whole incomplete as the version of you that you are now even if you're like oh you know like I have to do this isn't this or I don't like how my body looks right now or I don't like how my mind is right now or whatever scratch all that okay scratch all the what if scratch all the reasons why you aren't fucking worthy okay there will always be a problem in your life like literally you could be the most successful billionaire and there'll be still be something that like you're like, oh my gosh, well, I don't like this part about myself. Like this part about myself. There will always be something. Okay? So don't think that you're going to get to a certain point and you're like, Oh my God, I'm completely perfect. And I'm a completely perfect person. There's no falls in me. That is literally an endless rabbit hole and you will drive yourself fucking crazy. So what I want you to know now is like, as you are putting yourself on the pedestal, the base of this, like the number one rule, the number one step to put yourself on the pedestal is to accept yourself as you are now, know that you are whole and complete as you are now and anything that you add to your life, whether that's starting to go to the gym, dressing nicer for yourself, getting a boyfriend, getting cool friends in the city or whatever, anything new that comes into your life is just an addition to your own greatness. You are good as you are now. You don't need anything outside of yourself except yourself as you are now, love yourself as you are now because if you are someone that is wanting to change and you're wanting to bring good things into your life, you cannot bring that change into your life if you are hating yourself into change. If you're telling yourself that you're not good now, if you're telling yourself that you're not worthy now, if you're telling yourself you can't have a certain thing until you do a certain thing, instead accept yourself as you are now. You have to love yourself into changes literally the only way it happens. I have tried to hate myself into change for so long and I'm like, oh, why do I feel stuck? Why have I made no progress in my life? Why have I made no external reality? It's because I'm fighting against myself. I stepped one foot ahead and then I get another butt back, it's an instant tug of war with myself and my future self. So in order to step to that future self, in order to stop playing tug of war in your life, you have to be nice to yourself. You have to be nice to your current self right now and you got to love that bitch unconditionally. Okay, even if you're not like the most ideal version of yourself right now, you were whole and complete. At the end of the day, we are all just humans. I never put anyone else in that pedestal. I could see like Selena Gomez or something and I'm not going to be like, oh my God, Selena, kissing her feet, like crying and all this shit if I saw her in person. Okay, because I realize like we are all just humans and we're all just here having a human experience. You can appreciate someone else's work. You can admire someone else's work. But make sure you don't put someone I've had a soul so fucking hard that like you treat them like they are a god and like you are way below them and you're a peasant. We're all just humans except yourself as you are right now. And anything that you add to your life is an addition to your own greatness. You have to beat your number one supporter if you want to change your life. And if you want to build up your confidence because you cannot hate yourself into change. If you want to stop playing tug of war with your past self and your future self, you have to treat yourself right now with the love that your future self would treat herself with. So if your future self is someone that is confident that someone that loves herself, you have to start doing that now and it just starts with the little things. It just starts with being a little easier on yourself. It starts with being nicer on yourself. It starts with just showing gratitude for who you are now and you know, celebrating those little wins. Something that I really do when you know, I feel like I might hit problems within myself or I might have like self doubt or negative thoughts is talk to yourself through the things in your life. Like if you have like internal conflict within your mind, talk out loud to yourself. I talk out loud to myself all the fucking time. I've always done that. And I think I'm like, that's why I'm really, really good with my confidence. And I feel so good about myself when you have a negative thought instead of running away from it, like literally like talk back and forth to yourself. Like I literally will talk back and forth myself in different accents all the fucking time. And I used to only do this like in private because I probably didn't want to scare my roommates and go into anything like that. But like ever since COVID, I just feel like I've just stopped giving a fuck way more. And like now in public, I will talk to myself all the time to people, but I think I'm crazy 100%. But do I know that everyone else talks to themselves when they're home alone 100%. So I don't even feel weird about it, but whenever you get those negative thoughts, so those thoughts has helped out, talk out loud to yourself and you'll realize how fucking stupid your negative thoughts are. Like they don't mean shit when you say it to yourself out loud. You're like, okay, no, that's just your ego or no, you're just getting in your own head. You're trying to set yourself out. You're good. We got this. Everything like that. And you'll start to feel so much better about yourself. So going back to mastering the law of detachment. Step one is about being fine on the now and enjoying the journey and not focusing so much on the destination. Step number two is to put yourself on the pedestal and this comes with seeing yourself as someone who is high value that deserves amazing things. Just seeing yourself as someone who is amazing as you are. And so if you want to see yourself as high value, you can put yourself on that pedestal right now, as you are right now, anything else that you add to your life is an addition of your greatness. But some things that helped me really embody this like high value pedestal energy is what I said, taking care of yourself of getting those eight hours of sleep, moving my body and dressing nice for myself. I dress nice for myself on the day to day just because I want to romanticize my life. I want to act like I am the bitch in the romcom that everyone has a crush on. So I started to do that for myself because I noticed like when my skin would be acting up and I just like wouldn't wear makeup and I had my hair in a greasy bun and like wouldn't care what I was wearing, I obviously like didn't feel as good about myself. And so I didn't really go throughout my day performing as well as I wanted to. As opposed to days where like I just dress a little nice for myself. I don't have to put on too much makeup, but a little bit of light makeup to cover up my blemishes, some mascara, dress a little nicer for myself. It could be jeans and just like a cute casual top, but I feel so much better when I do that stuff. And I noticed that my external reality reacts the same way when I feel better about myself. So those are just three tips of like things that you can do to put yourself on that pedestal. And so when you put yourself on this pedestal and you see yourself as someone that brings a lot to the table, you don't care what other people think. You're not trying to get everyone else to like you. So when you know what it is that you bring to the table and you know your value and you know your worth, things come to you because you see yourself on that pedestal and opportunities come to you. People want to be your friends, friends come to you, romantic partners come to you, guys, girls will come to you and ask you on dates or we'll want to get to know you better because it radiates out of you when you see yourself on that pedestal. When you see yourself lower on a pedestal and you see the like a certain job or a certain romantic partner or a certain person that you want to be your friend and you put that on the pedestal, that repels that away from you. Because what you're doing is you're essentially trying to prove your worth to something because you think it's more than you. And you guys have probably maybe felt this before like if you kind of like someone or a romantic partner, but like they weren't really reciprocating the energy back and you could feel that they weren't giving you the energy that you wanted. You would feel this internal need to prove yourself more and to prove to them that you are a good romantic partner because what you're putting on the pedestal is them. You're putting their validation on the pedestal and because you're putting their validation on the pedestal, what you're saying is that I am lower than this. And so because that I'm lower than this, I have to try to convince you to like me. I have to try to convince you that I am the type of person you want. And so it's a very like chacy, chacy energy because what you're saying is you're not seeing that thing at eye level. You're chasing that thing. And if you're chasing something, aren't you implying that it's running away from you? So instead you need to see that at eye level and this is something I actually used to do when I was doing a bunch of job interviews. I always felt like I really, really always killed like internship interviews and job interviews just as a person because I feel like I've mastered just a lot of like confidence and that kind of stuff. But something that I actually did when I was doing this job interview that I really, really wanted at the time, it was actually one of the first things I manifested was this nine to five job out in L.A. and it was like the exact job I wanted. It was going to be making six to eight years within a year. I was like, this is set. I'm on it. Whatever. So when I was interviewing for the job, I really did want this job. Like this job was the job I really wanted. I was interviewing at a couple of other places just to have my options open, but when I walked into the interview, I acted like I already had like five of the job offers on the table. And what I mean by that is like I was not kissing, ask galore like some of these other people were that are like you can tell they're just like desperate for it. I kind of walked in with this like take it or leave it energy of yeah, like I like this company. I like what you guys do. This is awesome. You know, me as a person, I could totally see myself working here. If that works out great, if not, no worries. It was just a great opportunity to meet all you guys and to connect with everyone. And so I walked in with like that kind of energy and the closing one on one interview, they have like a manager come through and like ask kind of where your head's at. And that was just kind of like what I said. And because of that, that manager called me back two hours later. It was like, Hey, like we really want you on this team. Like we thought you were all in like do you have like three other offers on the table? Like they're like, Oh, did Salesforce give you an offer letter yet? And like how much are they offering you? Like is it more than like what we're offering you? And they just started asking me all these questions as if I had these other offers, which keep in mind, I had no other offers on the table yet. I was still in the interviewing process with a couple other places, but I had no big offers on the table, but I walked in with that energy of seeing it at eye level. I didn't put that huge job that everyone wanted on a pedestal. I saw that at eye level and I stood in the value that I made it and I did it in a silent confidence kind of way. I didn't do it in like an overly bragging, trying to make myself feel better than the job opportunity. I just saw it at eye level. I said, Hey, you know, look, I think you make a great fit. I think we have something going here, whatever, if it works out great, if not, no fucking worries. And that energy is so attractive when you have that like take it or leave it energy because people are like, Oh, if you're not like kissing our ass like everyone else, why? Oh, it's because like she sees the value in herself. Oh, it's because she's confident she brings this is this to the table. We want her. So that's what I mean by putting yourself in the pedestal is just seeing yourself at eye level or just seeing yourself forth so high that shit just comes to you. And I think my favorite method of this is just seeing myself forth so high because when I see myself forth so high, it's just like so easy to attract things because I'm just detached from everything. I don't need a certain guy to make me feel good about myself or to make me feel confident. I don't need friends to make me feel happy in who I am. I can make myself feel happy. I don't need this certain career to make a certain amount of money. I know there's an abundance of options out there and I know what I'm meant to do will come to me when the time is right. I walk around this very detached energy of being solid in who I am right now and being solid in my certain place and because of that I naturally attract things to me and that's the kind of energy I want you guys to apply into your own life. And the best way to put yourself on the pedestal is just to make yourself feel good. And this is obviously through like basic self-care as I went through earlier and treating yourself like the fucking shit like dressing nice for yourself just for you because it makes you feel good. Getting eight hours asleep because it makes you feel good because you have more energy and then that makes you want to socialize more. That is how you really stayed attached is when you put yourself on the pedestal and you build yourself up, you don't care about needing other things to other people. Other things come to you. You don't chase you attract because you are on that pedestal. So that is my second tip for the Law of Attachment. The third and final tip for the Law of Attachment is you need to apply this vacation mindset to your life. So we already kind of talked about the first step of the Law of Attachment is being fine in the now and enjoying the journey of the day today, not the destination. Second thing is to put yourself on the pedestal by seeing yourself worth so high that things naturally come to you. The third thing is this vacation mindset. And I already kind of touched on this with you guys, but what I really wanted to say is just when we talk about goals and setting goals and self-improvement and stuff and this is something that I've learned myself being a self-improvement content creator and all that kind of stuff, self-improvement guys is in an ever-ending rabbit hole and you will always find something to improve on. And this was something like with me, I felt like I was just always doing this. Yeah, deyada. And I was like, you know, I'm not gonna go out and like have fun with my friends and like have Ferrell chaotic nights. Like I just need to be this, this is this. And honestly, that fucking sucks. That literally sucks. Like I am a 20s, I'm a year old girl. I need to go out. I need to have my tequila, sour nights. I need to get Ferrell with the girls in the club. And I need to make out with a cute boy and run away and giggle, okay? That is what life is for. We are all here to experience life. The quote unquote, good, the quote unquote, bad, whatever you wanna call it and the ugly. Like enjoy every fucking aspect of life. And even if you're so goal driven and everything and you're super, super focused on the kind of life that you wanna live, that is so awesome, but like still make room for fun. And know that like we are just here to experience life and we are here to have fun and connect with people and have certain experiences. Don't get too serious about your goals. Like it's good to have those habits that are building you towards your goals each and every single day. But like as you're doing your habits on the weekends and stuff, go easy on yourself. Like have fun on the weekends. This is gonna look different for everyone. Like sometimes you do need to have periods of your life where you are in a grind mode. And I have done that before too. But also just know that like life is so beautiful. Life is meant to be experienced. Have this vacation mindset of on the day today. Have fun in your current now and your current moment. Besides whatever your current circumstances right now, I don't care if it's fucking gross, shitty, wood panel walls, whatever. Have fun in the now, stay grounded. As long as you have that goal in your mind, it's gonna happen. Trust God. And yeah, just like enjoy the little moments. Enjoy whatever chapter in your life you're at right now. Enjoy the people that are around you right now because it might not always look like that. Enjoy the location of where you are right now because you probably might not ever live there again. Just enjoy the little shit 'cause life is really fucking beautiful. And I just don't want you guys to get like so caught up in your head that you can't see at the current moment and enjoy the now. So romanticize your life. Remember to have fun. Go hit the stranger. Bucket trip with your best friends. I don't fucking care. And just remember that we're all here to live the human experience. So yeah, that is the final podcast episode of season two you guys. I am going to miss you guys so much over this month and a half break where I'm gonna really revamp the podcast, rebrand it, go in a little bit and change it to how I wanted to look for the rebrand. If you guys still want some more content and wanna see more of me, you guys can follow me over on Instagram @matticleary or over on TikTok @matti.cleary. And I am going to be posting a lot more reels and TikToks within this next month and a half. I'm really gonna pour a lot of my energy back into creating content on those platforms because I am excited again. I'm feeling good and I love creating over there. And I will see you guys made June. Also, if you guys want to DM me any questions, I'm gonna be going through those within the next two weeks. I have a couple of DMs I still need to answer if you guys have DMed me before. I need to get through this to those. But just wanna let you guys know, like I love you guys so much and I love hearing from everyone in all your different stories or even if you're just saying, like thank you, this has helped me so much. It literally means so much to me because as I said before, I sit in my room alone and record this podcast so it's just so crazy to just see how many people it's affected and it's just so rewarding. It makes me feel so good about this podcast and the community of people that just love it. And I know I just attract my type of people to this podcast and some of you all just cracked me to the fuck up as I said before. You guys are amazing, I love you guys. Okay, all right, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast if you don't wanna lose me. If not, girl, I'm glad you came here for this episode and I will catch you later. Okay, bye. (upbeat music) Thanks for tuning in to the Babbage Guide to Manifestation Podcast. If you love this episode, feel free to leave a rate and review below. For more content and Babbage Energy, you can check me out over on TikTok at Maddy.cleary and on Instagram @maddycleary. That's it for today and I'll catch you over in the next episode.