Mary J. Blige Unbothered and Unstoppable

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That's when I called to Roger. I was like, "Yo." Hey girl, come get me. Help! Come get me girl. Oh, I needed this laugh. Oh, my goodness. I knew it was going to be funny. You was getting paid. I was getting paid. I'm getting paid. I talked to myself all the time. What do you say? You could do this, Mary. I'm sorry. I got one more story. No, come on. What is up, neighbors? We've got the iconic Mary J. Blige pulling up to the house today. Now she has been a cultural force whose voice, her presence and her story have been moving people around the world for decades. And now she's bringing that journey to her Las Vegas residency, my life, my story. And I bet she's the kind of house guest who's going to keep her real with the neighbors. And leave this house filled full of power. Have a seat. Come on in. All right. I believe that the queen is in my house right now. This is wild. Mary J. Blige. Do people every time they talk to you, they say Mary J. Blige? A lot of people say Mary J. Blige. When they have introduced me to Mary J. Blige, that's just like that. But other than that, they're like, so Mary or Mary J. Ms. Blige. Yes, they do. Listen, what I'm not going to do is let my mama be like, now I know you didn't have Mary J. Blige at your house and you talked about Mary. But it is really good to have you. I'm so excited to have you at the house. Thank you. I have loved you and your music for a long time. When I tell you, your music has been passed down from my mom to me, right? Like she was going through stuff. She was dealing with stuff. She was living her life and growing up in New York and your music was like the soundtrack to her growing up in New York, which means it was the soundtrack to my childhood. I know exactly what you mean. And so like, she's got the songs and I got the songs too. I would imagine that you get that all the time. I do. I get, you know, my mother, I love you so much. We grew up to you. My mom's, you know, she says, "Hi," or, you know, I get all of that, but I love it because it's, you know, from eight to 80. Right. You know what I mean? And that's the blessing. That's what, you know, I started to pray for, you know, in the middle of my career that people would start to. I would transcend from eight, from ages eight to 80, that I would just keep going. And you doing it? And I'm blessed to be, you know, to do that. What are your favorite, what are your favorite drinks? Right now, Liti Martinez is my favorite drink. Is that right? I was in. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Boo. Okay. So I'm going to make a spin on a Lichy Martini. It's a Lichy cocktail. I'm going to call it a Lichy Breeze. Okay. Okay. I'm going to be honest with you. This looks scary to me. Lichy don't look scary to nobody else. This is terrifying to me. It looks delicious to me. Is that right? Come terrified of that. Okay, sweet. So we've got our. That's your Lichy juice. This is the Lichy juice. Okay. Got to have the Lichy juice. Okay. This is our vodka. Do you do it with gin? I used to drink gin a long time ago. I don't drink gin. You know what they say. I already know what happened. You said it was true. I was drinking gin. He said it was true. I was a mess. They said gin will make you sin. In case you want. Four ounces of our premium vodka is two. You must be having one as well. Yeah. Okay. You said first of all, you joining me on this trip, the way you design me up on that. Now what is it about Lichy that you'd like? It's really good. It's smooth. It keeps me bubbly. I don't like. Like I'm a uptrend man. Turn down. What is that? This is Grandma Ye. I don't want any Grandma Ye mine. Is that right? No. I take the vodka and the Lichy juice and the Lichy juice. I wouldn't even. That was just for decorations. I don't even need that. Brown liquor can't. She said I don't know. I'm going to pass on the brown liquor. I'm going to have to pass on that one. We'll shake this up. Or do you prefer it stirred? Shake it. Okay, here we go. That looks nice. Right. The right color. Here we go. And then we've got our Lichy. Okay. Here we go. Okay. So here's to being in your home and thank you for having me. Of course. Thank you for coming. Oh, that's nice. That's very nice. Now I'm going to tell you. I made this earlier with the Grandma Ye and I was like, "Huh!" That's interesting. When you say, "I don't need that." It's better. I'm trying to tell you. It's better. And see, that's going to take you down. That's going to make you feel down. And then when we get in that sun, we're going to feel terrible. This is going to keep us up. And barely a hangover. Like, if you do 40s, you wake up. You can drink four martiniac? Yes. I'd be under the bed. I'm not waking up. This is the only drink that I can wake up and be gone. And function. Right, right, right. Everything else, hangover. Hangover. You're doing this residency in Las Vegas. What does that feel like for you to be returning to Vegas, but in residency mode? It feels very good. It feels like I'm so accomplished. Everybody got to come to you. Everybody sees my hard work, you know, in GM, live nation, all the bosses, like, okay, it's her turn. Yeah. And it is my turn. It is my turn to sit and enjoy the fruit of my labor, even still while I work and bless my fans. Right. And that's what this is about. It's about just going somewhere nice, hotel, a house, driving to your job. It takes 10 minutes to most to get 10. I know that's right. Get on stage. Do your job. Go back. I want a regular community. I want to get me a regular community. Not 18 hours on a bus and you got to get on a plane, but just having a great time and enjoying it. This is going to be fun. It's not only cool, but it's like a major moment to create a residency. Well, especially at MGM and the way the fans are coming out and turning out the ticket sales like this thing is going to be probably extended for a little while. Is that right? Yes. It's going well like that. Let's see how she looked right at you. She said, yeah, this is the way y'all acted. Yeah. We going to have to go ahead and extend this thing. Nice. Beautiful. I'm so grateful to my fans, man. They really, they know what it is. They come in to celebrate the whole New York is like, you know, we come in radio stations like, oh, we come in. Everybody's come in. Yes. I've heard you describe a little bit about what people are going to experience, what they're going to see on this residency, but if you had to break it down, how do you now? It's not going to be like my whole life. It's my life, my story. Yeah. You know, it's going to be what you know, just a little pieces because I'm not going to have a bunch of actors and actresses just two people, myself and another, moving around. You know, some like pivotal conversations and pivotal moments in your life. And then the dancers will, you know, be dancers and act out things. But for the most part, it's going to be a blast, like it's all about the fun we're going to have, the music that we're going to give to the people. Your catalog is crazy. 15 hours. And you're recording right now? I love what I do. Yeah. And you're great at it. You're excellent at it. Thank you. I'm very curious about what it is like when you're writing, when you're in the process of creating music. I know that you are a boss and I imagine that that don't change when you're in the studio. No, it doesn't. I'm not. I'm not a asshole. I'm a team player. But if you do, if you piss me off and it's like, then I turn into a boss on you. Like if you're the engineer and you keep messing up. Yeah. You can say fuck up. We have to house. Do you keep fucking up the engineer? It's a wrap. If you don't know what you're doing, I'm going to call you out because I don't have any time or money to waste. Money is time. Yeah. Especially in the studio. Okay. It's called bed on that in the spirit of your vagus residency. We got some situations that study show true or false. That's what we got our green and we got our red. Okay. So you're going to put some money down your chips down if you think it's good. If it's true, you're gonna put your chips down on green. If you think it's false, you're gonna put your chips down on red. We bet no net. - Got you. - So this is the first one. Opposites attract and are more likely to stay together long-term. You have a bet on that. I'm a bet. I'm going like that on that. - I'm a bet all this one at. - You going, oh, oh, you put a lot of chips in on that. - Yeah, because I think every one in a relationship has to learn something new from their partner in order to grow. - Okay. - Whether it be good or bad. So hopefully it's good what you're learning from your partner that you don't have. And something good that he's learning from you that you don't have. Everybody's the same. It could turn into, I don't know. Maybe that works. - If I was with somebody that was just like me, I'd be dead. - But it's okay to have some things in common, but it's good when it's like, "Am I what I never thought of that?" - True. - That is, that's like, okay, I'm staying here because I'm learning something. - Right. - And the same thing, you know, on the other side. - Yep, that's actually, you rank. - Makes sense, huh? - Yeah, I should have put some more money on that. - Yes. - Okay, let's see. Ah! Mary! - What? - False! Studies show, while opposites can't attract, research generally shows. Birds of a feather, shared issues, shared values, lifestyles, and personalities flock together. - That's fine to each's own. - Look, we like that as well. - But for people who, so birds of a feather flock together. - Yep. - So if everybody's the piece of shit that one bird's gonna become a piece of shit too. - Right, right. - But if people are different and this person is good, you wanna become what that opposite is. - Right. - So, I don't care what the expert says. I'm going based on what commonsense tells me. - Hello. - Comonsense tells me, for me, that I need someone to grow, like like, um. - Introduce me to this event. - Yeah, somebody that can sharpen me. - Yeah. - You know, they say iron sharpen's iron, but it's iron. - Hello. - I rather that someone that does not act like me. - Right. - And we have some things in common, but we're not completely alike. - Exactly. - Because then, where do we have to go? - I wanna see where the study is. Show me the study. I'm not convinced. Okay, so I wanna take this time to say thank you for all of your support, your likes, your comments, your shares. This has been an incredible ride with y'all, and I love that y'all rock with it so tough. I also wanted to take this time to ask you to check and make sure that you are subscribed to the show. We've got over 200,000 neighbors that are a part of this thing, and the energy is real, and I want you to be a part of it. It also makes sure that we are able to do all that we have planned for house guests to bring it to you. So come on, be a part of that. You don't wanna miss it? Okay, now back to the episode. Squeezing your partner's butt is good for your health. (laughing) - I'm a bet all, I'm a bet all this one. - Oh, true, right? - One true, yeah. - Yeah. - You walk fast me in the kitchen and you don't? We got a problem. You know what I'm saying? True! Physical touch stimulates the release of oxytocin, often called the love hormone, which helps reduce stress, lower blood pressure, and promote feelings of closeness and happiness. - Yeah, true. - It was in there, no, we was in there. - Oh, okay. - We got that right. We didn't lose him that time. Okay, you pull the next one. - First, I just wanna tell you, I mean, I know you the queen, but I didn't know you was gonna be iced out like this. - My God. - This is ice cream. - This is no ice cream. - Do you have 17 security guards? You got to. - 17. - So you got to? I know you wouldn't blame. - Night owls tend to earn more money than early risers. That's, I have to say false. - You think that's false? - I don't know, I don't wanna lose money. I don't know. (laughing) - Oh, now, now you think it hard on it, huh? - Well, let's do some math. - Early risers are people that are responsible. - Responsible? - Not saying night owls aren't people that are responsible. - Right, but they've got a branch in there. - But most night owls are people that are in the studio that drinkin', that hangin' out all night. - It's a little bit more crazy. - Oh, boy, maybe not, I don't know. I'm scared to bet on this one. Do I have to bet? - Yeah, we got to bet. - Okay, so here's, when I think of an early riser, I think of somebody who wants to take advantage of more hours in the day. More hours in the day, more money to be made. - I'm gonna bet on an early riser. - I'm gonna bet on a little bit, though. - Me too. (laughing) - Not as like, I wanna lose all my little money. Okay, let's see. - Damn. - I know he was gonna win the money. (laughing) - False, research showing morning types often report higher income and career stability. Oh no, so we were right, but we just read it wrong. - Oh, it's true. - We were right, we just read it wrong. So we get the money back. - It's true. - People who are chronically late tend to be more creative than punctual people. - I'm gonna say true. - I'm gonna say, I'm going true. People who are chronically late. - I'm more creative. - I'm more creative than punctual people. - I think we want someone. - We want some money. - True, chronically late people often possess a type B personality, which is characterized by higher levels of optimism, creativity, and a more relaxed, big picture approach to life. Are you a person that is chronically on time or are you chronically late? - I used to be late a lot. - Yeah. - 'Cause I learned it, that's not good for my business. (laughing) So now I try to be chronically on time. - Is that right? - Yeah, I had to learn that though. - Did you ever go to concerts, you ever go to shows where people were late to come out to the show and you're like, "Now where are you gonna see?" - Yep. (laughing) - Say, yeah, if you're gonna buy tickets to a concert, who is Mary J. Blige going to see? - I'm buying tickets to Anita Baker. I'm buying tickets to Jasmine Sullivan. I'm buying tickets to Kendrick Lamar. - I'm right behind you, 'cause you probably got more expensive seats, but I'm right behind you at all those concerts, that's for sure. People who live in some of your climates have higher life satisfaction than those in colder climates. - I think I'm a bit true because of the vitamin D. Like if they live in a sunny climate, vitamin D is to keep you happy. - I'm going, I'm going a lot. - You're going a lot? - I'm going a lot on that. That's gotta be like a duh. - I'm just gonna go here. - I'm gonna go all the way. - All right, it's not real money so far. - Well, I'm gonna keep some of my chips. - I'm just gonna go one stack. - Well, there's lost all my money. This is why I don't gamble. This reason right here, 'cause I will be hurt, mad, and sad right now. - I kinda know it was gonna be the opposite. - False studies comparing life satisfaction across regions have consistently shown that climate has a minimal to non-existent impact on long-term happiness. That's 'cause people, they ask it at the wrong time. They probably did this survey in the spring, you know what I mean? - Well, you weren't thinking about the winter. - Okay, people who speak to themselves in the third party, you can do this to Mary. (laughing) - Before I'm better under stress than those who use I. - Oh, shit, I don't know. - So it's like, you can do this, got you, got this. Instead of, I got this, I got this. So if you use your name while you talk to yourself, you do better. - I don't know. - I mean, I don't have that before chips, so I'm going all in on that. I'm gonna go all in. - I'm gonna just go ahead and just be next to the last card. - You going all in, dude? - Ah! - Are you going on a red or green? - You can do this, Mary. - You think in versus, I got this. Versus, not talking to yourself. - Right. - Is that confidence or not, I don't know. - I like where you going though. You can do, I got this. - I might lose, but I'm gonna go, I don't, I don't agree. What? - I might lose, but that's cool. - That's cool. - True, it allows individuals to view stressful experiences from a fly on the wall perspective, minimizing negative emotions. That is something I would, I'm surprised by that idea. - Well, I talk to myself all the time. - What do you say? - You could do this, Mary. (laughing) But is that faith or fear? - True. - That's why I said no. - So that's interesting. You do the morning affirmations, or do you do it all throughout the day? Like when was the last time you had to tell yourself, you got this, I got this. - A lot. - Really? - Yeah. - 'Cause I just feel like you have this kind of confidence, right, you move through life with such a degree of knowing and sure step that you wouldn't need this. - But some things are hard, I'm not gonna say what they are, but some things are really, some things are hard when you're like, stop, Mary, or you could do this. You can do this. You have the strength to do this. Some things are hard. I would imagine that you had maybe at one time, at one point you had to, when it came to acting, to get yourself in that space of like, I can do this, I belong here. - Yeah, but that comes from a place of shit, can I? (laughing) You know what I'm saying? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I hope so. That's why I said, I'm about against it because it's fear, that's from a place of uncertainty. - Yeah. - So is that the thing that we use to make things manifest? - It's fear the engine, or it's faith the engine. - Exactly. - Damn, that's a bar right there. You stepped into something really all new when it came to acting. - Yeah, well, acting is totally different. - It's a whole new animal. And it's a very hard thing to do. So I take my hat off and praise Shraji and Queen Latifah. with Davis and all those amazing women for how great they do it because it is hard. - Yeah. - It is hard. So that's something that I'm really not all the way sure. So I have to take classes. I have to make sure-- - You take acting classes? - Yes. I took acting classes for Mudbound. - Is that right? - And I took acting classes for Rob Peace. And it's time I have like something to do. I even took acting classes for ghosts. Because I'm not marrow-street with Iowa Davis or Angela Bassett. Did you call any of them? - I didn't, but I called Taraji. - You did call Taraji. - And she was like, "You got this, you got this, Mary. You got this." But I still didn't think I had it. So I was like, "Okay, you got this, you got this." So again, I bet it against it because that's fear. So in a minute, we can be like, this is nothing. - Right. - That's faith. - Right. - That's my take on the whole thing. - Yeah, no, it makes perfect sense. Also, I think about Mudbound and that performance that you gave in that film, it was no wonder that that came with an Oscar nomination. Do you know what I mean? That was, I would imagine that that was an unreal experience for you on location, and then to see it through, to see people's response to you in that film, and then to get all of the attention on your performance. That would have been like kind of jarring. - It was incredible. It was unexpected because like I said, I wasn't always secure in my acting. I didn't think I was doing as great a job as everybody praised me for. - Is that right? - I'm serious. I wasn't even like, oh, I was, I did, listen, I did what I knew how to do, and that's play the part. I read it, I looked at it, I drew from where I needed to draw from, and-- - Where did you pull from? - My grandparent, my grandmother, my aunts in the South for Florence, and for Monet, I drew from scarred up Pistorff Mary. - Is that right? - Yes, I drew from her. But there was still nervous Mary that was like, "Shit, I'm acting." Okay, you can't act, or you can't look like you're acting, you really have to be this thing. - Yeah, for me, also the Florence situation was also, we've never seen you look like Florence. - Strip, and so-- - And complete. - Down. - No lashes, no weaves, no wigs. - You though? - Just flats. - Never right. - No damn, no makeup, no nails. - Yeah, we'll be talks about what it was like for her looking in the mirror as Sealy, and what that did to her, like how she, you know what I mean, right? - Yeah. - Cynthia has talked about what it was like to have to, in the moment, kind of believe these things about this. - Let me tell you when I froze on Mond Mount, sort of, there was going around taking these pictures of us all as our characters before the movie even started, and they took the picture of Florence. - Right. - And they sort of passed the pictures back around when they came back, and I saw that picture of how I looked. - You see all hell. - That's when I called to Roger. I was like, "Yo." - Hey girl, come get me. - Help! - Come get me girl. - I'm getting ready to quit this. I mean, all kind of, I was like, I was like, "Oh my God, Mary, this is terrible. You look terrible." And then when I got on set, people started me like, "Oh yes, so beautiful," and I was going, "Who the fuck are they talking to?" So, yo, I know you're not talking about Florence. - Listen, that was a moment where I had to choose faith or fear. - Yeah. - I chose faith because I'm normally, you know, I'm like makeup. I like shit like that, you know, but I chose faith because this is what that character needed. That character needed faith and to believe that she was beautiful. - Right, I mean, baby. - And people was on set going, "Yo, so, oh my God." - Stop lying on the phone, but I'll take it. I'm going to take it so I can grow. And that's what I did. - And you did. I mean, you did. I want to talk about it more when we get out here to get ready to eat. I'm ready to eat it. Are you ready? - Yes. - Okay, we got Puerto Rican food. - I like Spanish food. - Spanish food? - Yes. - Bitty, bitty bum bum. I know she was Mexican, but the group later was a Puerto Rican. (upbeat music) - Thank you so much. I know you didn't have a lot of time today, but you said, "Let me pop up on my boy. "You're over in the neighborhood. "I really appreciate you popping in." - Well, thank you for having me. Your home is gorgeous. - Thank you. - This has been a real treat. And it's always nice talking to you. Such a nice person, like, you know, you do so many interviews with people, and then you get with someone that's a real person that's talking, asking the same questions, but making them more fun because they know it's some bullshit, too. (laughing) - We were talking about that before. Everybody was like, "Why do y'all ask the same question? "Everybody ask the group with the every outlet "wants to have that information." - I understand, I'm not kidding. - But I'm with you 'cause you be like, "Damn. "I don't ask you this 17 times." So how excited are you for this tour? (laughing) Like, I'm fucking excited, all right? Go buy the damn tickets. - There was a point where every time we talked about a tour of yours, we had to also ask you how many outfit changes you had for the tour. - You were right. - At one point you looked at me and you were like, (laughing) a lot. (laughing) A lot. - So, you know, when you think about this residency, how many outfit changes do you, (laughing) no, I'm playing it. - Not that many this time. - I'm playing it. No way. - Not that many. - See, getting the hard-hitting news for y'all. I was saying to you earlier before you even started this interview, I do feel like there's a different kind of energy on you right now. I don't know if it's maybe a different kind of outlook. If you're feeling different about where you are, do you feel like there is? - There is. The difference is, I'm loving on me. - Is that right? - Like, I'm taking care of Mary. I understand that life is going to life, but I'm not gonna let the fact that life is life-ing dictate my happiness or my peace. - I'm with that. - I'm gonna handle that life life and life in. And while I'm handling, I'm still gonna be kind to people. I'm still gonna be kind to myself. And I had to learn all of that. And that's what brings the peace. Just learning how to live with yourself, except the good, the bad, the ugly, all of it. And accept that life is going to be life. This is not home to you. No, this is real work. - Yeah. - Therapy, to prayer, to quiet time, all by myself, just sitting, watching movies, laughing with me, drinking juice, ordering Spanish food. - Yes. - Because I do order a lot of misresees. - Is that right? - 'Cause I don't cook a lot. - Wait, what do you, if you do cook, what do you cook? - Stoo chicken. - Is that right? - Stoo chicken, white rice. - Like curry, is that curry? - No, like, starting like stew chicken. So you get this chicken, you season it, you cut your onions, you cut your potatoes. So it's like stew. And you fry your onions first so it can smoke. And then you throw your chicken in the pan with no flour. And you just let, you just see it both sides. And you get your chicken broth and your onions and your potatoes. And you put all that stuff in there, and you let it sit for like an hour and make some white rice fluffy and some Mexican corn. - It's a good night. - Gotta eat that for like a week. (laughing) - What's the hamburger helper? - What? - Yes. - Mary J. Blige is not even no damn hamburger helper. - Yes, I do. I ate a lot of stuff from when I was a kid. - Mary J. Blige. - Yes. - Hamburger helper. - Yes. - Which kind? - Being strogan off and the cheeseburger one. - They're the only ones. - So you know about him. - What the hell is there? If you're not eating beef shopping now. - But I love it though. I love it. - Or the cheesy, mate. - I hook it up the way I hook it up. It's fantastic. - So it's not even hamburger helper by the time it's finished. - It's like casserole, like a fancy casserole. It's so good though. - I just need you to know that the headline is gonna be, Mary J. Blige is just like you. (laughing) She eat hamburger helper too. - I don't know. - And I love, I love like, not fancy food. Because not fancy food is the best food. - Well you get, actually you get enough of it. 'Cause the fancy food you'll get nothing but a bite. Are you a whole milk drinker? You drink cow's milk? - I drink whole milk sometimes. - Okay. - Because it's not, there is not good for me. - I'm just trying to think what you put in the strogan off. - I put milk in, like whole milk in the strogan off. You have to put milk in the strogan off. - Yeah, 'cause it ain't only good. - You can't put no almond milk in the strogan off. - That's good for cereal. Like almond milk is good for raising brand of captain crunches. - Yeah, it's not in the strogan off. - It's not in the strogan off, no. - So we were talking about this time in your life, right? Like you were talking about therapy even. - Yeah. - And I'm curious about what your take was or your approach was on therapy before you started. Were you someone who was resistant to the idea? How did you get introduced to therapy? - I was nervous because I watched so many people, you know, before all the social media stuff came out. How was everybody's business getting out there? So I was nervous about who I was gonna talk all the things I had to talk about. - So like your therapist would be. - I was afraid that the therapist, exactly. So, but I finally, you know, I prayed about it and I was like, "Lord, send me someone "because I need some help." I'd send me someone if I need this type of help that I can trust. - Yeah. - And that won't put my business out there. And it took a while. I went through like two widows. - Is that right? - And it didn't last for nothing but maybe a couple of hours. I went, I saw, I was like nah. - Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. The message for everyone paying big wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything goodness world stop. With Mint, you can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying no judgments, but that's weird. Okay, one judgment. Anyway, give it a try. at MintMobile.com/switch. - Up front payment of $45 for three month plan, equivalent to $15 per month required, intro rate for three months only, then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra, see full terms at MintMobile.com. (laughing) - Well, because they said-- - Yeah. - I wish that more people knew that therapy, especially finding your therapist, it's kind of like dating. It's not like you find a therapist, you go, and then that's gonna be your person. You have to find the one that is really good for you. - Yeah. - That's good for each other. - Yeah, there was this one lady. This lady took 35 minutes trying to convince me that I can trust her. I, you know, I have, I have a, yeah exactly. - What the hell was that? - The shit, the bullshit. - Yeah. (laughing) - I don't know what that was, the animal or what. This is not what we played about this wildlife shit. I'll tell you what, you saw me, I was about to be gone, but it's Mary's taking a selfie. (laughing) - I don't know what that's the animal, that's what I'm talking about. - That moves it. - It'd be that, right. So when a person is trying to convince you that you can trust them, you know, you can trust them. - Right. - So I finally got someone that's really, really good and helped me a lot, helped me to see that a lot of things that continue to happen is because you continue to trust what happened. You can't trust what happened and how it happened, especially if you're trying to live a new life, you gotta expect new things and think new. But if you keep making, 'cause that happened before, that's gonna happen again. - Exactly. - I'm like, not, I didn't happen it again. This is what I want to happen. Not this, I don't want this to happen. - Focus on the new thing. - Exactly. So that's where the peace comes from, the peace comes from stepping into the unknown. And when you step into the unknown, you release some shit. I don't know what it is, you release and you just trust. You trust that, you know, the way God creating you is to trust and walk in love. So that's what you're seeing. I'm just trusting and wanting to experience what I've never experienced. And that's trusting that I'm love. And they go, whatever that is, they call me. - The wind times, yeah. - That's beautiful, yeah. - That's a message right there. It's so true and it's so real. And you can see it in what you're creating right now. You can feel it in what you're creating right now. And so I imagine it's also a really interesting time for you to be in the studio. - Yes. And the music that you're making is even different. - What's different, it was beautiful. It's really exploring what that self love feels like. And it feels so good. - Yeah. - It feels like, damn, mom. - You want everybody to experience that? - Yeah, yeah. And it just, it feels like honest. And you can say something you never said before. And really mean it and not a wonder if this is going to happen. Just know something new is going to happen regardless to what happens. Know something new is going to happen. And that's where I'm going. And I'm speaking from the song "Loving On Me" that I have. It's still speaking about how you trusted a person. But now I'm loving on me. - Right. Not what you did wrong. - Yeah, yeah. - 'Cause you did that. - Right. - That's on you. - Right. - I'm loving on me now. So those who want to follow me, that those who like this person come with me, those who don't, I can't really help you. - Right. - But I do understand. - Yes. - And I can still write from that perspective. But I can't believe from that perspective no more. - When you were writing, when no more drama, right? That process, that song, the performance of that song, was happening. You were going through the time. - Yeah. - How would you describe that time? - Exactly hell. It was the, you know, when you get to the worst part of something and it starts to get worse. I remember I'm just in that hell. One part of my life, I was on the break throughout. Maybe I thought it was low. She's doing so well. She got to be without you. I was in fucking a shit storm. - Really? - And I was crying to my sister one day. And I was like, I just shit got to stop. I hate it. She says, let me tell you something. It's going to get worse before it gets better. I lost my fucking mind because. - Don't say that shit to me. - To me. - To me, how much worse can it get? - Right now? - Well, where are you at that you know that? Did you come get me? - Worst can it get. - She never lied. It got worse. - It did? - But it had to get worse for me to see myself in it. Not to see what the other person was doing because there was going to keep doing what they did. But to see myself and make a choice. Do I want to die in this shit or do I want to get out? - Yeah. - And I wanted to get out. In order to get out, I had to believe in me. - Yeah. - And that's where good one and gorgeous and all that stuff came from. - Yeah. - It was the last five years of a bad situation. - Yeah. - And I went completely sober. No drinking for five years. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I needed that much clarity in order to see myself, get the information, the self-help, the pastors whoever, and start moving out. And I started speaking to myself in a way where I didn't even believe yet. I started saying good morning, gorgeous. Good morning, beautiful. - Literally out loud. - Yes, literally, right before I go to the gym. - Yeah. - Just speaking what I wanted things to be. And before you know it, I was out of that situation and still speaking. And it started to manifest in my heart. - All right. - Then in your life. - Then I started to see it through my eyes. - Yeah. - I remember seeing you perform, like being in an audience while you were performing this song. And I remember the place you would drop down into in those moments. And I remember even live performances on shows, on like award shows there was one in particular where you were in that, right? You were still in that hell. Do you remember the point where you were able to perform that song? And you were no longer performing it in your own hell. - We got easier to perform, maybe. - It got easier to perform in like 27, 2016. - What happened at 26? - That's when I began the awakening. And that's, I just got out of a divorce. Leading up to that, I already started working on myself. While I was in it. I was working quietly. What the fuck? Oh, what was that? - What was that? - Yeah, life, what was that? - Okay, you gonna leave? - Hi, yo, these cool dudes, there's Omar. - 'Cause it's my life, now here baby. I think that was actually a child. It's my life shit. - I gotta take a turn on that. - We all said, what the hell was that? - It didn't sound like a person. (laughing) - Sound like a- - We all just left. - Broding. (laughing) - So we're gone. You have way out that seat. Oh my goodness. So, it was probably more like 2016 and 2017. I was still an angry black woman. Because I had to pay alimony. I was, like, praise me. - Honestly, how do you wrap your mind? I know that that is business. I know that that's just what it is. But how do you, when you were writing that check or had to write that check? What were you saying to yourself as you were signing? - I didn't wanna pay it. - You're not. - But I know that they would have taken everything or locked me up or something like that. And I remember talking to one of my good friends that was gonna do kind of the same thing. And they were like, you have to do everything. Give everything to set yourself free. And even though I had that information, I was still like, fuck that out of what I'm about. I just didn't want it. - Right. - Yeah. - But I did everything the right way and everything flipped in my favor. And after a while I didn't have to pay anything. - I knew that. So I think it was probably like either 2020 or 2018. When I was able to sing the song from a world perspective. - We're like, we have been through this. And we are moving to, and we are moving to a new thing. - Yeah, because when COVID, when that hit, I was like. - Damn. - This is fucked up. - Yeah. - So automatically I got a whole nother reason to sing No More Drama the way I did. The fallout was for me before. The fallout was like, oh, I'm tired of going through this shit. - Right. - The fallout was for the people that was sitting in the house through COVID and all the shit that we was going through. - Yeah. - And everything that we're dealing with. - I never thought about how the song might change based on what's happening in our lives. Like literally the shared experience of COVID. - You don't think No More Drama applies right now? - Damn. (laughs) - Shit. - Don't you wanna fall out for the people right now? (laughs) - Yeah, I'll leave. I wanna go back to Little Mary. I'm very curious to know, at what point were you like. Yeah, there's something to this Mary thing. I think we gonna be all right. - Well, when I was five, I used to just be singing. I'm going down for no reason because I just loved the song. But that's not when I realized it. I was seven years old and I did a talent show. And I sang my favorite song, Reunited. Now that's a duet. I sang the man part and the woman part. (laughs) And people was looking at me like, wow, it's seven. And I was nice, I was doing both parts. And so that's when I was like, hmm. And then I heard the chatter was, oh my God, Mary's. She says she could sing. You know, that was a chatter in the school. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But I never was like, her, I could sing. I just was like, oh shit. - Right, right. People reacted to you immediately. - Yeah, they did. [BLANK_AUDIO] You knew you were like, okay, hold on, this is something we can do this. - I'm sorry, I got one more story. - No, come on. - You know, I love a story. - There was the store called Steve Market. - Okay. - And there was this girl named Kathy that heard that I could sing. And she would take me to Steve's Market. She'd be like, you wanna make some money? Kind of like, yeah. And I used to say Denise Williams, silly of me. - What? - And the people used to be gone. And he would just give me all the juices and quarter waters. - I mean, and pay the chips. - Just keep saying it. - And she'll take me up there when she knew I wanted some chips and juice. - You's getting paid. - I was getting paid. I'm getting paid. (laughing) - Being in paid. You're gonna have to come up with some juices, some cookies, something. (laughing) - Do you remember what it was like for your first record deal, what that feeling was, what the situation was? Do you remember that? - The feeling was relief. It was good because I knew that I was gonna be able to do what I told my mother I was gonna do. I told my mother that I was laying on my mother's lap when I was drunk. I said, I'm gonna take you to California when I'm gonna take you in a cab. (laughing) I know it was stupid. - What? - I know I was drunk. - Was that the gin? - It was brass monkey, actually. - Oh shit. (laughing) That's that dark. See, I know. Yeah, yeah. - I said, I'm gonna take you to California in the cab. She'll tell you the story. And I was able to take you to California, meaning to take her out of the projects. - Right. - And so it was a relief for me that I was able to do that. So that's how I felt when I got signed. When I've heard my song in the radio, that's how I felt. I was like, oh God, thank you. - If there was one song that you feel like, let's say you get one song to add to the time capsule that will be your representation in music, right? What would that one song be? What's gonna be the Mary James song? - That's not fair. - What's gonna be the Mary James song? - That's hard. - I know. That's really hard. Let me see. Honestly, because everybody wants this. Real love. - I'm so glad you said it. 'Cause it was the one I was gonna say. - Yeah. Everybody's searching for real love. Don't know where to search. You know, everybody wants that. - Are you surprised now by the people who continue to find that song, the way that it continues to live, in really beautiful ways, new generations, new ways, new ears, listening to it. - What's surprising is the effect it has on people that have been to the show 20 times, right? They lose their minds and they sing it out loud and it's like, wow, this is incredible. Like, when you really analyze it, it's just not gonna stop. So, I guess that will be the equivalent to us for like a lady in my life with Michael Jackson. - It just never gets full, it just feels like I can't help it. Same feeling, so do, do, do, do, do, do, do. - Yeah, that's it. - So, I just, I guess that part is, when you analyze it, it's like the blessing. - Yeah. - This is something you have for the rest of your life that moves people like that. - We were joking on the way out of here and I was, I'm sorry, 'cause I got distracted while you were talking just then, 'cause I was looking at you and I was like, this woman is beautiful. - Thank you. - You are, I mean, you say, good morning, gorgeous. You really are gorgeous. - Oh, thank you. - And I have been looking at images of you and music videos of you since you started in this industry. And I don't know how it is or what you're doing. The people wanna know, they gonna be mad at me if I don't ask. - What are you doing? Is it green juice? - Less stress. - You say less stress? - Less stress. - Baby, I'll drink to that. - Less stress, and my mother told me, 'cause my mother has beautiful skin and she looks like a baby. She's like, my mother didn't let anything bother her. Ain't like nothing bothered her. Only thing bothered her is somebody who's messing with her kids. - Right. - And she went out there like a little Tasmania devil and beat the shit out of anybody. - Right. - Not everybody laughed. Not everybody was like, yeah, sure, yeah, she would. - But anything else, my mother didn't let, you know, but if you messed like, poke the bear. - Right. - She just was like, she was one of the other. - Right. - And she just still looks young and beautiful and vibrant. And I was like, my house, she was like, I ain't letting none bother me. - Where are your people from? - My people are from Savannah, Georgia. - Okay. - My mother and my father. - It's a vanishing and then bother her in Georgia. - Georgia? - Everybody moves slow. (laughing) The food is great. People are friendly. - You all right. - It's New York living at-- - Well, where you at now? - So what you were seeing was hard New York living. You were seeing tons and tons of alcohol. You were seeing drugs. You were seeing stress. You were seeing fear. So all that was piled on me. None of that shit is piled on me now. - You good? - It is what it is. I'm not saying I don't get afraid no more, but I don't let fear consume me. I don't let stress consume me. I take care of my shit and I move on with joy. - Yeah, that's worse than live by. - And it's hard, just hard work. - This is hard. - It's hard work. - But we gotta do it every single day. 'Cause my problem is not your problem. So if I came here like, "Oh, okay, cramps." - I need to take all the pills so that I can be a blessing in disguise to somebody. - We were talking about our intention for this conversation and what we were, the word we were kind of focused on. And you said, "I want to be a blessing to somebody." There's such a beautiful way of looking at your existence in this world. That's all we're here for. We're not here to be somebody's headache. - Right. - But the majority of the world is somebody's headache. So I don't wanna be a needle in a haystack. I never wanted to be a needle. I never was a needle in a haystack. So I'm living out who I am. I'm not a needle in a haystack. - I know, that's right. With this Vegas residency, I would imagine comes some more new music. - It's coming. - And I'm not trying to rush you. A new one is coming in about two weeks. And then another one. So DJ Campbell did the first one. - Okay. - And DJ Campbell did the second one. - Okay. - The third one is coming Rodney did. It's called Loving on Me. The second one is called Want Love. See how I set that up. - I, I, I, speak what you want. - Absolutely. - More than a lover. What you want. Want love? Who we loving on? - Me. - I thought that's right. Well wait, so when it comes to dating, are you dating? Are you interested in dating? Are you dating anyone? - No, I'm dating. Not dating, but I have a, a mate. - Do you go out on dates? - Yes, we go out on dates. - I mean, I get, I'm actually just-- - You keep a spicy, it keeps it funny. It's, if you're a man or you're a girl and you're a friend, you ain't going on dates. - That's real. - So I like a friendship in my relationship. - Yeah. - And we can laugh, like sincerely, and go out on dates and be in each other's faces, like it was the first time. It's not that ain't it. (laughing) - You said it, they can't be cute. What are we doing? - We put on those, when they just switch up the next day, now you got to deal with a whole 'nother motherfucker. Who was this? Now they got to deal with all who was this? - No, I've been there, I don't want, I want, I want. - You said I want none of that. - Yeah, you see how this is right now? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I want this all the time. If we have an issue, we sit and be like, baby, you good? - Yeah. - So how can we help each other? - Is that something that you've learned through some of the hardship, or is that who you always were in a relationship? - It's not my learn, yeah, yeah, yeah. 'Cause I wasn't always. (laughing) - Not your love, yeah. (laughing) - Not just this is something that you've learned. - Ah, man, I used to be a monster. Like, what? - 1994, Mary was horrible. - What do you mean a monster? Tell me, what you mean? - Listen, go Google, Google it. - Google it. - You'll see it, it was terrible, man. Terrible, like, I didn't want to do no interviews. I would curse off the people that was asking, why you asking the same fucking question? Would I tell you, I would be in an interviewer. - Go find that right now. - I would be in an interviewer and I would be like, "Miss Blige, how many outfits are you gonna have on the tour?" I was like, "Y'all have nothing else you wanna ask, Mary, "don't you Blige?" - I was so, I remember being so nervous, interviewing you and we first started because I also felt like I was carrying the love and appreciation of my mom's, my mother's experience of you, with me. And I wanted to do right by my mom. And I also wanted to honor you. You are such a big part of us coming up. - No, well, you caught me at a time when I really appreciated being spoken to, 'cause like I was saying to you in the house, what? (laughing), what? (laughing) - Oh, wait! (laughing) The way you left me for what alcohol was going to have to be. - I was like, "What is this big black thing?" (laughing) Oh, I could fly flat, chewing the bugs and then this big black thing was like, "I'm like, ah, ah!" (laughing) - Oh, my God. - Please keep that, that was good. (laughing) - Oh, shit! And took off, baby all the day, what was we talking about? - Oh, my God! Oh, oh, I needed this laugh. Oh, my goodness. (laughing) - So you caught me when I was becoming a person that was responsible? responsible and was grateful for, you know, being an interview because I was saying in the house, I was like, what if nobody cared? What if nobody wanted it? So you caught me at that time when I was coming to the realization of this, you should be happy that people want to talk to you. I heard that. I guess a gift. Yes. You know, we're not entitled to necessarily any of this. Exactly. And it's a privilege to be in a spot like this, to be able to have these kinds of conversations. It really is. This is a blessing and an opportunity for people to want to hear what you have to say. When early on, it was like, shut up. You, you see it on the interviews, right? But it was, that's, that's rooting on, ungrateful. I grew up. Yeah. I used to treat people so bad that on the no more drum album. This is where my turn started to turn. Okay. I had, I said, before I release this album, I need someone to line up every person that I ever was disrespectful to. And I apologize to every last one of those people. What? I did ask anybody as Jeff Halson, if anybody from, from Devin in the scope. What was that experience like for you? It was, it was humbling, but it wasn't something I was afraid of. Is anybody like, no, you can't say sorry to me. No, people, they were like, thank you so much, Mary. Really? We love you. We just want to work hard for you. We tell us what you want. We don't know what you want. We can't read your mind. People were so grateful for that apology. But I, but I knew in my spirit that I had to do it because I was awful. Wow. That's us. Was that like something that you had worked through? Was that like something that had dawned on you or did you work through that in that discovery in therapy? It was something that dawned on me because I wasn't even in therapy then. Okay. During a normal drama, I was not in therapy. It was just something that came to me. And I was like, okay, God. And he was like, just like get, get everyone you've ever cursed out, ever did anything to. And bring them, even bring people that you don't know you did something to. And I apologize to everybody. I also imagine what that does to your like the weight that that brings off your back. Yeah, like the openness you also experienced after after something like that. Yeah, it didn't stop the drama from happening, but it cleared up my conscious. And it made another level of success appear open up for me. People wanted to work harder, they wanted to work on the album, they wanted to. And from that point on, I just been growing continuously into that person. When did the boots become the thing? Well, the boots, it was inspired from all the female drug dealers when I was growing up. They all had money and they all knew where to get these thigh high boots with like tassels and they just had to flush it. And I never seen nothing like that, you know, growing up. And when I saw that, I was like, when I get some money, that's what I'm doing. I'm getting all of those. And I have all of them. You really do to the point where you started making them. I had my own boots, I did a collab with Giuseppe, it was like, it wasn't a long one. Would you do more boots? I have to do more boots. Right? Because I feel like the people want them. Yeah, they do. But they want to be able to afford them. Or aspire. But definitely want to wear them. And take them back. I'm just playing. I'm just playing. I'm just playing. I'm just playing. I'm just playing. I kept mine. I kept them. You know, you took them back. I kept them. I kept them. I thought about taking them back, but I kept them. Are you in a place where you can look yet laugh about that Burger King commercial? Um, no. No? I'm not because I would never laugh at that. Because my true honest to true fans did not think that shit was funny. Yeah. The whole way that shit went down was wrong. The whole way they shot it was wrong. It was set up to make exactly what happened in the press happened like that. You really feel that way? Yup. And so it's still not a laughing matter to me. Yeah. You know, because I was deeply, deeply affected. Now, I learned a lot from it. Yeah. But it's not something I'm like, yeah, no, it's not fucking funny. But laugh, you motherfuckers if you want. Still, I don't care. I hear that. But the bottom line is my fans were confused, the real true fans, not the people that, whatever. Dip in and dip out. Yes. But the people was like, what's going on? And I didn't really know what was going on. Right. But I had bad representation, bad management, bad everything. And everybody dropped the ball. And I'm holding everything. Yeah. That was a learning curve, but still not funny. I'm glad that you were open to this because I think that people think or have a feeling that because it has been some time. Right. Because you see people like doing renditions of the song online. You see people now having a totally different, in some ways, having a totally different perspective on that as it's just content. But that's your life. That doesn't feel good still. Wow. But I learned, I learned from it though. It doesn't feel good because it was, I was, I was getting clobbered for no fucking reason. But it just showed me something. One minute people are with you. And one minute they are not. It showed me just how fickle the game is. And it showed me exactly who my friends were. Really? Yeah, a lot of my so-called friends are not around anymore. No way. Because of that. I was like a disease to people. And everybody, nobody wanted to be affiliated. So the people that, this is where I learn, I go where I'm celebrated at. Because they will treat me like I was a disease or something. Yeah. So I said, you know, I know how to do this. Thank you, Lord, for the lesson. Thank you for getting me through it. Now I know how people get down. Yeah. And that was the blessing and the whole thing. Just learning how fucked up and fickle people are. And one day when you, you know, when you hot, the men and some shit happens, that you can't even explain, they gone. I'm glad to know that. Because you know, sometimes you have this without really knowing a thing. You have this opinion. They're like, okay, it's all good now. And people participate in stuff that you don't know. It's still hard. There's still has like some real hard feelings, real deep feelings, real deep wounds, I should say. Everything is not funny. Straight up. But people laugh. Everything is, you know, everything it is. And not shit is not funny. Exactly. Yeah. I think about how you have not just parlayed, but how you have managed to expand your business. So now not only is it music, but it incorporates so many other facets, right? It's acting. It's commerce. It's this picture deal with lifetime. Was there something that happened to you or something that you were thinking? You were like, okay, you know what it's time to get this boss money everywhere. I mean, once the door opens, you got to run in and get everything. Right. Run in and set up shop. Right. So that you can get mailbox money. So that you could do the things that you always wanted to do. So you can help other people. Right. So that's what it's about building legacies and building businesses. I think about the lifetime deal in particular, because I feel like it helped also your deal. And the announcement of your deal helped usher in a whole new wave of people getting similar or other picture deals with the network. Yeah. I mean, I don't say I felt it right away, but I'm seeing it now. Right. What else do you want to do in that space? I just want to be able to create movies for us. Like, there's a lot of stories that haven't been told. Yeah. When we told the Clocks of this story, that was me missing in Queen Latifa. Yep. There's a lot of stories like that that haven't been told. And, you know, to make a song, a movie out of a song that people love. Yeah. That's entertainment. So you could sit on a mic like the lifetime channel and watch the real love movie. The family affair movie. Yes. The strength of a one movie. And now the be happy movie. So you can do it like a whole marathon. And people do. Yes. And people love it when women, men, they love a good love story. And that's where my songs really have been about love and, you know, trying to find yourself. And, you know, and trying to be strong. And that's what these movies are about. So to see them come to life is pretty dope. And I'm definitely doing more. I got some surprises, some surprise twists. I figured that you would because I've heard that you were also eager for the ego status. I'm not eager. Of course. Or interested. Broadway is hard. I did off Broadway. I did the exonerated. Yep. It was hard. It was hard. We did Matt Nays. It was hard. It's tough. I don't know about the Tony. Unless-- You say I'll get an ego. Unless I'm not in it. Oh, a ego. Give me an ego. What would you tell that young lady who was starting her career in music? With all the things you know now, what would be the one thing you'd want to impart on her maybe earlier? Trust who you are. Really? Trust who you really are. Trust who you are. Because everything from that. That's it. Trust who you are. That's it. Period. You were the bomb. Thank you. Oh my God. This has been so incredible. I want to take too much of your time. I know you was on the way. But thank you so much for stopping by today. Thanks for having me. We have laughed. I have laughed harder today with you than I have laughed in a while. Maybe we thought we was gone twice three times in the back of our day. Thank you. You're a major blinds, everybody. Well, you are the blinds. Thank you. Oh, bless you. [MUSIC - ALAN GONZUK, "BEATS YOUR LIFE"] [MUSIC - ALAN GONZUK, "BEATS YOUR LIFE"] Hey, neighbor, come inside. Musical guests and a little perspective. Seen the stars in a new life. Hey, neighbor. Hey, neighbor.