Mary Beth Barone Returns

(bell rings) Wave. - But I do think that I'm starting behind the eight ball, as they say, with people. I'm constantly winning people over. I'm not starting with people are not coming into interactions with me, presuming positive intent. They're presuming negative intent. - You mean to tell me that you genuinely identify as an underdog? - Unfortunately, I would say in this current moment. (upbeat music) - You ever get worried? Like, well, that's the last funny thing I'm gonna say. - No. - I'm worried about not being funny on this. - I get so sad because I know that the funniest things I'll ever say haven't even happened yet. (laughing) - It's really powerful. - Yeah, yeah. Do you know what? Actually, one of my, like, meditations for this year? (laughing) One of my meditations for this year is the best things are yet to come. And what I mean by that and sit with every single morning, there are a couple things I sit with every morning. One of them is, when I am 90 years old, which I will be looking back on my life thus far, but when I'm 90, there's so much left to do. - Totally. - The things that I will be the happiest about and most proud of have literally not even occurred yet in this moment. - Wow. - They're all ahead of me. They're in tomorrow next week, next month. - Really puts things in a perspective. - Well, it doesn't even matter if it's true, by the way. - Right. - You just have to tell yourself that in order to live. Living a happy life is about the lies that you tell yourself. - And it's a beautiful and important thing too. - It's about the delusion. - 100%. And I'm happy to be delusional. I also tell myself every morning that I am a loving person in a world that loves me back. And that one's beautiful. - I believe that. - That one's sweet. - For you, I don't believe it for me, but. - Which part you're not loving in the world doesn't love you back. - What do you mean, why would you say that? You have a beautiful, charmed life. - For now. - Are you practicing enough gratitude, Mary Beth? - I practiced gratitude. I could definitely practice it more. And thank you for calling me in on that. - I'm calling you out. It feels like in, it felt like in in that moment. - It's in for sure. - I just, I think I have a lot of gratitude. I just wish that like, I wish I felt joy more. I'm working on it in therapy. - Yeah. - What is, how is that going? Like what is going to be the solution? - We just started last week. We just started talking about it. It's something I've been aware of for a long time though. - Yeah. Well, so what did you say when you brought up your, like I'm not joyful enough? - Well, I think it was more like, when good things happen, are you able to really like, internalize that? And I was like, well, no. - Yeah. - Is that something people are doing? - Yeah, wait, hold on more people internalizing. Joy the whole time? - 'Cause that's not something I have been practicing. Certainly not. No, but gratitude, yes. And I think, I think it was really important for last year to end for me, so that I could start this new chapter of 2026. And then I found out today that egg shop in Williamsburg is closing on Sunday. And I'm thinking like, what else? You know, like, what else could go wrong? Egg shop, it's an establishment in Williamsburg. Delicious, little breakfast spot that I go, I used to go with pinky all the time, my dog. And now it's closing forever. And I don't know why. - Did you, what, egg shop, please reach out and let us know what occurred. - A twink DM to me today and told me. - A twink DM to you. I can't imagine how much that happens to you. - It's relentless, but I wouldn't have it any other way. That's something I've gratitude for. - Do you know what's so funny? You're getting a million DMs a day from twinks. I'm getting a million DMs a day from straight guys and lesbians. - We need to. - We have to figure this out. - Yeah, well, the lesbians are all barking at me and hitting on me. I mean, the way that lesbians objectify me is actually like, it's approaching problematic, but I find it so beautiful that I'm not willing to report. And yeah, it's getting really, really dangerous. I do feel that someday I'll be killed by a lesbian who wanted me so bad that they had to like, take me off the market. - If they can't have you, no one can. - It will be like that. It's the vibe that I'm getting. I have there a lesbian. Every time I post a cute picture of myself trying to like, garner interest from gay men, that's like outside of the rum of Grindr, you know, and sometimes I want to be, I want to be a lusted after on Instagram. - Of course. - Every time it's just 17 million lesbians asking where I got my sweater. - And. - Mine and just to, here's what I think. I think we could, together we could change the world. - Is what I'm saying. - Because my DMs, as I mentioned, twinks and bisexual girls. - Yeah. - So we've covered, we've covered the entire spectrum. - We have a whole spectrum. - Yeah. - And once we're ready to activate, mobilize, I think they'll be ready. But I hear you. It's like my thirst traps when I post them. I'm not, it's like gay guy saying mother, love, I do it. - Oh, the mother of them. - And I want that. - Yeah. - But it's no straight guy saying mother. - Well, you don't want the straight guys to say mother. Although that is what they want most straight guys. - I know. - I know, they want to be mothered. - But you have to figure out how to make, you have to figure out how to position yourself as a mother without them knowing. - Yeah. - It has to be sort of an inception situation. - Yeah, you have to be both mother and wife. You have to be both Madonna and Hor. Exactly. And I'm ready. Put me in coach. - Are you? - I think so. - So what we're working on this year is finding a new breakfast spot, experiencing joy, and being both Madonna and Hor. - And Hor. - Yeah. - And I'm open to you being a Madonna and Hor for a woman. I'm sort of, I'm sort of down for whatever. - I think if you were Madonna and Hor for a woman, it would be incredibly progressive and turn everything sort of on its head. - Well, and that's what I'm trying to do with both my stand up and my personal life. - Yeah. How is that going? I had, how is that showing up for you? - Stand up is good. I'm practicing, I'm practicing. I love saying I'm practicing. I'm practicing stand up right now. - Yeah. - And it is a religious practice in a lot of ways, but I'm doing my Netflix special on March 19th, so I'm trying to get all my reps in and tread the boards as they say. - Yeah. - And more always saying that. - Just so I feel really prepared and you know, I'm sort of, I feel like preparation is, it pays off, and I just thought of that. - Yeah, that's really beautiful. And you just came up with that on the spot even. - Yeah. - Do you remember the last time you came on the show? - We sort of continue to get in trouble for talking about pit bulls. - I'll bring it up again. I don't care. - I don't care, fuck 'em. I don't, I would say-- - Oh, we got in trouble for a lot on that. I don't know if you saw that the pro-gun, Instagram people, TikTok, Twitter found that we said that if you melted every gun, you would never have another shooting and they're like, you can build a gun. - Yeah. - And I was like, okay. - It's, some of the stuff gets sent to me. I deleted TikTok a long time ago and I am not participating in all of it. - Oh, actually, you know that? - I'm not participating in all anymore. I'm out, I'm off. We clipped this but now, your media clipped this. - So you're not posting like even for the pod? - No, that's, I'm, I Caleb, I'm off. Caleb, the internet guy presence is still there and managed by Virginia. Thank you, sweetie, I love ya. So the videos go out, but I'm not reading it, watching it. I can't be involved. - That's sad. - But I have heard tell that we have once again, there's two clips that right-wing outlets love to like spin up with me, one is you and I talking about guns. And I said that we should melt them on, there'd never be another shooting. They hate that, they think I'm an idiot. Which is fine, 'cause I think-- - They said I can't believe these two can vote. - Yeah, and they're revolting. And I think that those people, like they're legitimately so many people in right-wing online circles, there will be a change in the tides eventually where it's not a right-wing despot in power and it'll be someone like us and they're in big trouble. - They're in huge trouble. (laughing) - And then Nori, Nori Reed and I, there's a clip that goes like right-wing viral every week of us. We could, you can't imagine two comedians talking more facetiously. - Right. - We're talking-- - Got tired. - It's over their heads. - So jokingly about being happy that our dads died because they were white men. I think at one point, we literally say every time a straight white man dies, a trans person gets their wings. Like we're talking so in right-wing people foaming at the mouth like, "These fat blah!" Like there are so many. - So one thing I want to bring up since you just mentioned that you are still posting clips of the podcast on TikTok, but you personally are not on there. I've been trying to, I've been explaining my friends why I'm having trouble sleeping lately. And it's because, so I don't know if you've ever felt this. - You felt my absence on TikTok. - I have felt it and it's keeping me up at night. - Yeah, you're not sleeping. - I'm tossing and turning. - Yeah. - I feel like you know how the AI Singularity thing, or maybe it's not AI, but just Singularity in general, is like when we've uploaded like our consciousness to the cloud and we don't have use for like physical form anymore. - Yeah. - I feel like as a person that's on the internet and trying to like be a public figure, whatever. I feel like that's sort of happening already. Or like part of my consciousness is existing all the time on the internet. I'm never sleeping on the internet because like your content is conceiving interacted with, commented on. It's like you're living a whole life on there. And it's like it keeps me awake now. And so I feel like we're sort of like inching towards that and it's really scaring me. And I don't, I want my physical form. Like as much as I abuse it and I hate what I look like, I want it still. - Do you hate what you look like? - Sometimes, smells so time. - Oh well. - Yeah. - I find that very surprising. You're so beautiful. - I'm surprising you a lot today. - You are. - Wait till I start hitting on you. - It's just, I'm looking forward. It's really tough when beautiful people hate the way they look. - Thank you for saying that. - It really brings my audacity to light. You know what I mean? (laughing) 'Cause I am beautiful, but I'm also fat in a society that hates fat people. And so the fact that I genuinely go through the day, being like, God, I'm hot. And then to hear that someone who gets to be so thin, it can dislike their appearances. Well, God, Marybeth, it just makes me sick. - Well, and that's why I wanted to come on the podcast. - To talk about thinness. - Listen, just talk about thinness and how it is actually really hard. - Yeah. - And it's a tough thing you're going through. - Yeah, it's really hard. - Yeah, I can understand that totally. I mean, the number of people, I've lost like a little bit of weight recently. Not trying to sort of something that's happening. And people are really sounding off about it. - I don't know if I'm allowed to say that I noticed. - Okay. (laughing) - Because I'm perceptive. And I'm always, I'm clocking people's tea everywhere. - Yeah. Yeah, my tea's been clocked, yeah. - You can't pull some shit like that and think that I'm not going to notice. - You think I'm not going to notice a change in appearance? - I'm going to notice. - Oh, I'm noticing. - But I'm not going to comment on it unless it is brought up in a public forum, like on a podcast. - And here we are. - So are people asking you about if you're on GLP1? - Not asking. (laughing) - Telling me, people, my, I would say every time, post a picture of myself lately, it is, and I really want this to stop. This is like beyond inappropriate and not something I enjoy. Just many, many, many people being like really disappointed that you're on ozempic. I am not on ozempic. I don't believe in that stuff unless you need it for a medical reason. I'm not interested in it. I am just like, yeah, I'm, it's, yeah, I'm really, really annoyed by people's, we still, I just feel like we have this conversation so often, like a million different ways about how we shouldn't comment on this stuff. And people just feel so emboldened to like talk about your body in a way that I'm like, I don't understand it. It just, yeah, there's a disconnect between people who find it like to be one of the worst things you could possibly do to someone is to bring up their parents and then people who just feel like it's open, it's open season to just sort of talk about it. I mean, I don't, yeah, it's hard because there are, of course people whose bodies I would love to comment on. Of course, that's an, that's instinctual. That's the way. I'm commenting on people's bodies. Of course, but not publicly. Not publicly. Not to them. Hello. That save it for the group chat. I'm in private being like, she's gotten busted. Like, hello. People need to utilize group chats. If you're about to post something. Hello. Say, look into your camera and say this because I know you're about to give a word. If you're about to start a discourse. Yes. Please send it to your group chat. We don't need it. We actually don't need to hear it. We definitely don't need to see it. The comfortability people have with putting their face as the, as the, what are you doing? Say it. What are you doing? Say it. At least send it to the group chat first and see if you got a lot of your system. Let's just see what the response is. Yeah. See if you feel better. Maybe you get four laugh reacts and you go, that's a good day. Sometimes you know what you can do. And yes, four laugh reactions is incredible. Yeah. Especially for a normal person. Especially if it's a live person group chat. Yeah. And I just think you can even record, you can go so far as to record the video. Type out the, type out the Instagram story. Yeah. You don't have to post it. Yeah. Let's just, let's just roll back a little bit. I can't tell you the number of times that I type out a Instagram create mode, which is my canvas. And Instagram create mode is my canvas. Of course. It's where I feel most special and most locked in. Instagram create mode is actually a place where I can play. And it's a place where I show up fully as myself. You know William Shakespeare's cool pen. Yes. It's like that. That's my Instagram create mode. But the number of times I do an Instagram create mode like screed. And I go, I'm going to post this on main. And then as I'm typing, I go, it's close friends. And then as I'm typing, I go, I'm going to send this to seven people specifically. Because close friends is an area where I actually can't even play that much anymore. I've seen people or anyone. You can't just anyone. And also I've put too many like, I used to at least be able to talk about my love life on close friends. I can't do that because I have lovers on there now. Yeah. My lovers are on close friends. And that's where they exactly where they should be. That's where they should be. But you think I can talk about, I want to talk about what's going on with my roster right now. I can't do that. I've got lovers on there. No. And I think what you just described, the idea of thinking I'm going to post this publicly, then to close friends, then you save it for the group chat. Go to mental health indicator. Yes. I think a judgment. Wellness. It's wellness. Wellness. And I think that I'm happy you're bringing this to the podcast because I think more people need to understand the life cycle of a thought. It can be just that. Yeah. And also think about your lovers. Imagine that every lover you have or whatever want to have is reading the things you're posting. I can't. I'm just amplifying. I can't. There's nothing to add to that. I think we should be using close friends to communicate subliminally with the people that we have crushes on currently sort of famously. I don't have a crush on anyone. So my close friends is truly just my close friends and my family. Yeah. That's beautiful. And they're seeing pictures of my dog days before I post the same pictures of my dog on me. Yes. Which is the privilege of being close to you. I message a guy in Grindr the other night. He like tapped me. Give a little interest alert. And I messed him and I said, look, I know that we're going to hook up tonight. But I just want us both to promise we won't fall in love. And he we like joked around for a little bit. And then it was like super late. And I was like, okay, we're not going to hook up tonight. But we are going on a date next week. And I do feel randomly like, look, is there a chance this is my husband? I have a problem where I over identify with the meet cute. I have a lot of meet queets in my life. And I over identify. And I go, this has to be my husband now. This is my chance. You know? And how do they? I guess it has a word about someone based on their response to a DM like that. Because can't we just have a little fun? That's the thing is I'm I am being silly on Grindr and not a lot of not a lot of people enjoying it. Well, I don't think people, yeah, I don't think of Grindr as a jovial place. I'm, but I'm being silly in a way where I will fuck you. You alone could change the culture. I'm trying to change gay guy culture. I want gay guys to I want gay guys to have more fun. You know? I want straight guys to have more fun. I'm doing bits with them. I actually was thinking of you the other day because not that you've done this. But so many of my straight girlfriends would be like, oh, you're so lucky. All the good guys are gay. And I'm like, I have, I love and appreciate that mentality, but until you've had to go on a date with a gay guy, until you've had to agree to some of the things I've had to agree to in conversation just to get asked, like, I have to agree, there are women I've never even heard of that I have to agree with our mother. And like, it's not, it's a nightmare. It's not different than talking about baseball. Okay. It's like the same thing. No, I know. We are the same. We're fighting the same battles out there. Yes, which is that we ultimately want to be hang out with just in different fonts, just in different fonts, actually. Yeah. If those women knew gay guys, they would know that a lot of the bad ones are gay as well. Most, I mean, yeah, being a man is such a precarious thing. It's not real. We don't have an explanation for it in nature. No. Being a man and talking to a man. It's hard. I hate that it's happening to you right now. I know. Well, I'm actively not talking to them, but when I do, and when I get back out there, but yeah, or straight guys, I mean, when I get back out there, I just want to have more fun. I feel like I could even turn the volume up a little bit on that because I'm getting to a level of comfortability, where I just don't care if they think I'm insane. Yeah. So I'm just going to, I'm going to have fun. And I'm going to look back on those bits that I did, what be it one side or not. And I'm laughing, fondly. I'm laughing. I'm walking back with fondness. And I'm telling my friends, I go, I did this great bit the other day with this straight guy. Yeah. And I'm telling them and we're all laughing. Yeah. The, the guys never speaking to me again. Yeah. That's not what's important is it? Truly stepping out of your, I'm trying really hard to step out of my worried about being perceived as insane by a lover. Uh, trauma because it is stop it worrying about being perceived as insane by a lover is stopping me from finding my husband. I feel I need someone who's actually going to receive my, we have to promise we won't fall in love tonight when we've never spoken of word to each other. I need that to be received with an excitement. Uh, you need to be yes, sanded. You need to be yes, and did. I'm sorry. I didn't train an improv for nothing. Um, no. And I'm having fun with it. And I'm sorry if you can't keep up. Yeah. Actually, I'm not sorry. You should probably leave. We are going to cut something that I just said that was inappropriate. I think circling to my point, gay guys and open relationships are a problem for me. Why are you talking to me? You already found your person. There's something called greed and we're seeing a lot of it. Gluttony even. Gluttony. And it's really ruining my life. Well, as a woman, yeah, a bisexual woman that was in an open relationship as well. Hold on. Can we sit with that? Let's let that sink in because let's let that sink in as a woman, first of all, to be a woman in this space. Thank you. Keep going. I, I would say that straight men in open relationships also need to be stopped as someone who was dating one for for several years. I benefited from being in an open relationship with a man as a bisexual woman because I got to hook up with women in that time. Yeah. And that was a very beautiful and rewarding experience for me. Yeah. Is it is an open relationship, something that I would ever do again. At this point in my life, I can honestly say no. Now, let's say I'm with someone for 20 years. Yeah. I'm minimum. This is everyone's big. I'm minimum 54 at this point, by the way. Yeah. But still have a lot of sexual energy. Yeah. And I am shooting a show in Budapest for eight months. And there's a 27 year old grip. Yeah. Who always wears the hell out of those car heart pants. It's all dude. Let's just say maybe there would be some negotiations. At this point in my life, it's not happening for me. I don't want it. I'm not seeking that. And I, I, I learned that that's just not who I am at this point. Here's what I want to say. This is something I'm experimenting with. And as we know, everything I say on this podcast is subject to pretty immediate disavowal. Yeah. That's a podcast or four. That's what my life is. Yeah. That's what my life on the podcast is about. But here's something I'm experimenting with right now. They're, these are, I talked to gay guys about open relationships and they end up in two different camps. They go, I'm firmly open right now. I want to be in an open relationship immediately when I start dating someone or they go, well, we wouldn't be close forever. Of course, down the line, we start out close, but of course later on, we would open it. Here's something I'm trying to bring to the community. We meet me and a guy. Yeah. Neither of us is dating someone else. We start dating each other. Yeah. We fall deeply in love. I'm going to cry. And we build a family and a life together. And then we die as each other's only lovers. And you never touch another person from that point forward. Yeah. And of course, we lost after them. And of course, we say when we're in our 60s, we're sitting in the Bahamas and we see the cabana boy who's like 28 and he's looking really good in the trunk. So we go, God, it would be nice to take him back to our room. And maybe he's interested in he for it. So we go, that's really sweet, we're flattered. But no, no. Yeah. The only person for me is my partner. That's beautiful. I want to bring back a type of love that is suffocating. Capitalist or most ownership, entrepreneurship, mutual ownership of one another. That's what I'm interested in experimenting with right now. What if we fall deeply in love and no one ever gets to do anything to us ever, again, except each other? - And what does it say about this current moment that we're in that that feels radical? - Hello. - It feels bad. (laughing) To me, but I just say it feels bad. And I do wanna say that my heart goes out to all the gay men who feel that there is a void inside them that can only be filled with by many, many lovers. Sometimes at the same time, sometimes just, you know, it's all, I just, my heart goes out 'cause I do feel that it is, it was done to you guys. I don't think you're born. But then maybe it's just like men being men, maybe if straight guys could do that, they also would, but I just, my heart goes out. - Do you feel that you're overstepping right now? - No. - I don't either. - I don't. - But I wondered for a moment. - And can I tell you why? - Yeah. - I have a deep love, and we've talked about this as well, and it's one of our big differences. I have a deep love for gay men. - I have a deep love for gay men, don't say that. - I have a deep love for them, and I feel that. - You have a deeper love because you don't have to date them. - Exactly. - Yeah. - And if I did, I maybe, I wouldn't maybe feel this way. But I think, and I'm sure there's people that are gonna be like, "Eh, me, me, me." Just annoying about this. I'm like, I'm living, I am living as a member of the community. And I am trying to uplift gay men at every opportunity. I'm trying to uplift every letter in the LGBTQIA at any moment. So I really stand on business, and I stand on my actions. And the reason I feel like I can speak on this is because I am so close with so many community members that I have a pretty big sample size. - Yeah. - And that's where I'm coming from. And it's never, and it's never like a criticism. Oh, you just stopped doing this. It's more like, I'm here for you. - Yeah. - And I hope we get to a place where you feel like you don't have to. - My journey is that when I was younger, I hated the idea of an open relationship because I was insecure. I didn't want my person to be outfucking other people because I feared that they would go out and find something better than me. Then I got to a place where I was like, that's not going to happen. - Right. - If you've chosen to be with me, it's because you love what I have going on. - Yeah. - And we can sleep with other people because they offer fun, other sexual things. But he knows where home is. - Totally. And so now you feel like-- - Hold on. - Okay. - 'Cause there's been another metamorphosis. That was the last couple of years. He knows where home is was a beautiful chapter. (laughing) - But the thing with chapters that's so interesting is the end. - The end. And new ones begin. - Yeah. - He knows where home is was such a beautiful era of my life. - It's a beautiful ethos, it's poetic. - It's a beautiful ethos. - And I'm sure it works for a lot of people. - I bet it does. And right now I'm experimenting with, and I might, well, he knows where home is. The other thing about books is sometimes the theme comes back up. Sometimes you repeat a situation or an idea. Right now, I am experimenting with the idea that arranged marriages might be a good idea. That like a beautiful, unceasing commitment to another person might be the answer. - Unwavering, no way out. It's a punishment in a beautiful way. - I think that's how a lot of couples feel. - They do, and I'm experimenting with it because I think it would be beautiful at this point. Look, I've slept with a lot of people. I'm not gonna lie to you. - No, and same. - It, right. And I'm now like, what would it be like to commit to someone no matter what? - I can't wait to find out for you. Also, one thing I do wanna say is that my opinions are my opinions and they can be wrong, but they're mine. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? - Yeah. - I make a lot of declarations, as you know, I have a podcast of my own. And one thing I will always say is, I might be wrong, but I can't change how I feel. And so, and I could change my mind at any moment, by the way. That's what's so beautiful about being a Gemini. I'm seeing both sides of the coin and I might change my mind. But this is where I'm at right now. - Some fear. Because that you think maybe there is a romantic entanglement you could see that feels like something you are trapped in. And there can be a lot of beauty in that. - I think, look, am I being sincere when I say that? I don't know. But I am experimenting with the idea that he knows where home is was just a chapter. And when I think about only sleeping with one person for the rest of my life, do I become my borderline suicidal, of course. But I wanna commit to somebody, you know, and I wanna have kids with somebody. And I think maybe, yeah, maybe there's something to it. Now, am I entertaining several guys right now at the moment? So much so that I have to have an iPhone note of sort of who I'm supposed to be keeping up with. Yes, that is the situation right now. But I'm dreaming of a better life for myself and I wanna say what you said that your opinions are your opinions. That was really powerful. And I wanna, I have my own version of it. And that is that my opinions are your opinions. What I say is true and it's how the people who listen to me feel. Feel. And if you're listening to something that I've said, that is, I'm speaking for all of us. I speak for everybody. Well, we hold a mirror up to society. Yes. People forget that sometimes. People forget that. And if you don't like what you see. It's not me. It's not me. It's not me. Just here holding the mirror. Don't bite the hand that holds the mirror sugar. Please do not. Don't fucking even try. Don't bite the hand that holds the mirror. I'm saying just look into it and see what you see in there. It's not easy. It's not like you change it. Start with him, Michael Jackson. It's not easy. It's a lot of responsibility holding a mirror up to society like this. It is. Okay. We talked about dating and love. I feel like we really captured that. But what else do we need to, 'cause you know, Mary Beth, why do you wanna say also you mentioned that you have a podcast ride with Benny Skinner who's a brilliant comedic mind and a wonderful person. And you guys are both friends of mine and I, one of the listeners know that off camera you were lamenting to me and our brief catch up. I had a feeling. You were lamenting to me that you guys have only wanted a few people to come as guests on your show and you have been unable to get them. And of course that hit me hard because I have not been asked. And I'm, I would comfortably say I'm one of the podcast guests of our generation. Yeah. That doesn't bring me pleasure. That's just my situation. And so for two of my good friends to not ask me on their podcast and then for one of them actually to come into my home and complain to me that they're not able to get the people that they want on the show, I did wanna just give you a chance to clear the air on that. Now all I can say to that is I, I see you. Thank you. I hear you. Right. And what I then went on to tell you is that we've only tried to get three people. Yeah. And that we certainly have you on our list of people that we want, we want to have on the podcast one day. Yeah. We don't do a lot of guests. But we will have, I have a feeling that we will have, I can't predict the future. But if I, let's just say if I was betting on polymarket. Yeah. If I was placing a bet. Yeah. Which they now want everyone to become gambling addicts in this country and the world. I would put a lot of money on Caleb here and appearing on Ride the Pod. Okay. That means the world to me. I think it'll be special. But that's not actually what I was trying to get into, what I was trying to get into is the responsibility of the podcaster in today's society, which you and I carry that yoke heavily on our shoulders. And I think part of what we're supposed to be doing here is, you know, fixing society. Folks, today's episode is sponsored by our friends at Oli Pop. The super role of this pet was this past week and I actually did a really fun event in SF. Do they like when you do SF? I forget. SF is good. I did a really fun event in SF for the Super Bowl with my girl, Kylie Kelsey. We played Bingo. It was so much fun. We gossiped and I can't tell you what we gossiped about because some of it was private. But we gossiped and by the way, anybody who was at the event will tell you I predicted. Everybody here can attest. I predicted. Seahawks by 15 plus. 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So next time you're at the grocery store, be on the lookout for those blue bags with fruit found in the freezer aisle. Thank you Trufru for sponsoring this episode and for sponsoring our bingo show that Kylie and I did before the Super Bowl. That was so fun. This episode is brought to you by booking.com. Booking offers this one, my favorite ones. Booking.com offers a wide array of hotels and vacation rentals across the US. You can find exactly what you're booking for. There's something for everyone, even those who are impossible to please. Yeah, I know a couple of those guys. (laughs) No. Whether you're booking for yourself, your partner, your picky teens, your sleep light, rise early mom or your high maintenance group chat, you can find exactly what you're booking for. When I go on vacations with friends, something I must have as a kitchen with a nice big oven and stove top where I can cook mouthwatering meals for my friends and loved ones. People who eat together stay together. If we can find our perfect stay on booking.com, anyone can. Find exactly what you're booking for. Booking.com. Booking.com, yeah. Book today on the site or in the app. I actually have heard myself more saying things that I'm like, why did I have to say that? Like, I could just not say that. I remember I was talking to my ex's friend and he was like, oh, a lot of people say the new Matilda's really good. And I was like, well, you know, they're getting a lot of flak for using a fat suit in that movie. Yeah. Who fucking cares? Say that. Who cares? Could anything matter less than that? I'm saying. Why would I take away the joy of children liking the movie Matilda by bringing something up that maybe there were a few tweets about? It's like, who cares? Do you know what I think? The only way that Hollywood is going to end this fat suit controversy once and for all is to put me in a big one. Like, put me in a big, I'm talking like bigger than Brendan Fraser in the way on. I'm talking, like, put me in a fat suit that we have never seen before and give me a, it would have to be, like, Norbit, Rasputia, like bigger than that. Yeah, bigger. Like, I would need to do that. We need to, like, just once and for all like, in the fat suit controversy. It is the fat suit. The movie is called fat suit. And you put me in the biggest fat suit we can find and we just do something awesome. We do, like, we do, like, Austin Powers. He's a radical. Like, when he's like, he does like the, what's fat bastard? I think it's about someone like that who just lives a normal life, day to day. Well, yeah, they tried to do that with the whale, but they forgot to give him any dignity. Yeah, I mean, and, and, and, they had him almost die jerking off to, like, a pizza. Eating chicken wings. That was, kind of, they had a chance to give him just, like, a normal guy who's, like, a teacher online. And then they had him ascend into heaven at the end of the movie because he couldn't stop jerking off with pizza. Wait, well, I'm sorry, but I was trying to say earlier. We, as podcasts, uh, officianados, we have a responsibility to fix things in the world. And I think we, we fix love and dating. Yeah. Is there anything else that's been on your mind? Yeah, and I'm really thankful to have the platform to talk about this. Yeah. So I don't think it girls should have weddings. And if they do, they shouldn't post about them. Yeah. I think weddings are for the proletariat. Yeah. It girls have everything else in the world. Yeah. weddings are the one thing that normal girls get. Yeah. They get to feel like a princess for a day. It girls feel like a princess every day. Yeah. I don't need to see them in a white dress standing in front of a bunch of Rosa chairs of people in formal wear. Yeah. We, we, we, we seen it. Yeah. And so I think if you are going to do that, it should be no phones. You should have yonder cases. Yeah. All of your guests should lock their phones in yonder cases. Yeah. It's for family. It's intimate. I don't need to see that. Yeah. And I'm not coming for any one. Specifically, because I saw that a few it girls have had weddings in the past, you know, 12 to 18 months. And it really struck me as like, we're taking, they're taking something away. And I, I don't identify as an it girl, but should I reach that status? Yeah. I won't have a wedding and post about it. Yeah. Because I think it's, I think it's, it just doesn't sit right with me. If you have more than 750,000 followers on Instagram, it's a courthouse wedding for you. It's, it's going to have to be a courthouse wedding. It's going to be intimate. Maybe you're not wearing, you're not even wearing shoes, maybe. I want the judge's phone in a yonder case. Completely. Yeah. I don't want a documentation to be public. Yeah. I think that's just, that's just again, an opinion of mine. Yeah. And it's just something I've been wanting to speak on without offending anyone, because I don't, I don't think that it girls should get offended. Yeah. Can I just go a step further and say that? It girls don't have the right to be offended. You have everything. Yeah. I do think that as a person who professionally gets attention, I have never been interested in a wedding, because I think a wedding to me, I'm just like, I don't, why would I do that? Right. If I'm going to get everyone together, let's do a show. I want to do some stand-ups. Yeah, let me perform. Yeah, I completely agree. I think that it's lost its appeal for me. What would feel more subversive is to do something small where it's like all my closest friends and family. Do you know what I, here's what I'll say, though? Just as a fun idea. If we keep allowing it girls to have weddings, they need to do the divorces in the same manner. Dress up ceremony, phones out, pictures everywhere. I just say, I would love to take a peek at the prenup. Yeah. What are you hiding? Publish the prenup. Do you feel that you're at this point in your life? Do you feel that you've become unlikable yet to the regular person, or do you feel still pretty connected? I was unlikable before. How so? I think. Oh, you grew up pretty. I think it's. Well, and this is going to make me sound bad too. It's just like the way my face looks. Yeah. People think I'm always going to be coming in with negative energy, I think. And so I've had, yeah, I mean, being blonde and having a dog completely changed my relationship with the service industry. And I've taken those lessons that I learned from being blonde and I've put them in action as a brunette. And I think that people's. When people see me, they think that that's. They just make a lot of assumptions about me. Which aren't true, because I have a heart of gold. And if you know me, you know that. But I do think that I'm starting behind the eight ball, as they say with people. I'm not starting with. People are not coming into interactions with me presuming positive intent. You mean to tell me that you genuinely identify as an underdog? Unfortunately, I would say. In this current moment. In this current moment? Yes. Unfortunately, it's not possible for me to not identify as the underdog. I hope we see a change. Yeah. I think if we were in the '90s right now, I could never get away with saying something like that. Yeah. But in our current moment, yeah. Nothing is more clear to me than the fact that we're not in the '90s anymore. And in some ways, great, whatever. But I wish that I got to enjoy it a little bit more. Yeah. Born in '91, I got a taste of it, I got a glimpse. Yeah. But I never really got to indulge in having a consciousness at that time. Yeah. So. You're born in '91? '91, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Sit with that. I'm '34. And I'm not ashamed to say it. I guess I hadn't put like a number to that. Which is this genuinely nothing funny about being '34. It's just '91 is like, I guess the feeling I was feeling when I said that was a little bit of jealousy. You got more consciousness in the '90s than I did. Yeah. And I never thought that that's something. I never pictured, I never predicted that would be something I'd feel thankful for. Yeah. But I genuinely am. Let's practice some gratitude around that. Gratitude. Bringing up with the therapist. I feel like the time that I was born as a woman is so interesting because I was raised on, of course, spice girls feminism. Yeah. When at the same time, one of my earliest memories is Bill Clinton's press conference about Monica Lewinsky. Yeah. So it's very. It was very confusing, but also then, I think, created this beautiful, this beautiful mind that I have that I wouldn't trade for anything. Yeah, of course. 'Cause I love how it works. And I have gratitude for that too. Well, I love your mind as well. I think you're brilliant. I think you're beautiful. Thank you. I thought you did an amazing job hosting the Globes, by the way. Thank you. How was that experience? Do you find it difficult to be in those kind of Hollywood rooms where everyone's so upset and emaciated or is it more manageable than I would think? Well, you know the question I wanted to ask everyone was, would you rather be happy or skinny? Yeah. And then go, never mind I can tell. Yes. (laughing) Never mind. I know the answer. I know. Yeah. So, yeah, I think that being in those rooms, it can be overwhelming and stressful for a lot of reasons. And I'm. I think I'm happy that the things that I'm experiencing are happening to me at the age that I'm at. Because even, just to walk you through some of my psychosis. Yeah. So, I don't have a flat stomach and I never will have a truly flat stomach. The type of flat stomach that you could bounce a quarter off of, okay? Okay. And that's something that I have to live with. Yeah. And so, at the Golden Globes, I was wearing a dress that from the side. I had like a little. You could just see. It wasn't flat. And so, in my 20s, if there was footage of me looking like that on the internet, I would have gone into a hole. - Yeah. - I would have been so stressed out, depressed like, oh my god, I just don't like how I look there. And as a 34 year old man, like that's exposure therapy. - Yeah. - I'm not a model, I'm a comedian. I don't need to have a flat stomach for work. - Yeah. - And so it's okay that from the side, there's a little tummy, there's a little tummy bump. - I'm glad you acknowledged that entire line of thinking as psychosis. - Yeah. - Because it is one of the more psychotic things I've ever heard you say. - So for you to say I'm not a model, as like objectively a model. - But I'm not. - Maribeth. - But I love you to death. - You would say this. - No, no, no, no, I know that. I love you to death. We have to step back into reality for a moment. The idea that you would even say from the side, I have a little bit of a stomach is like, it is time to root back. I want you to take your socks off and step in grass today. I want you to come back to us. I want you to rejoin us on earth, because that's insane. - It's really scary. - It's scary and I'm not saying it's your fault, but it's scary stuff. - But, well, because you said Macy it is. So I just wanted to speak to that a little bit. - Yeah. - For describing the other people in the room. - Well, so many people in those rooms are, like, they're getting thin to a point that I'm like, uh oh, and they're also, everyone in those spaces is vibrating like attuning fork with the pressure of trying to seem cool when they're deeply uncool. They like want to win a trophy so bad that they are like would genuinely, genuinely, whether they admitted or not they would poison every other nominee to death to get that trophy. And that is an energy that being around it is like very, very psychotic. And you really did such a good job at making it like hearted and funny. - I think I really wanted to just match people's energy. And that was the goal. And I did 50 interviews and some of them won't come out for various reasons, whatever they may be. - People's publicists said that they couldn't. But I think it was, it was really fun for me. I genuinely had a great time. And what I wanted to do was make people feel comfortable to the point, I wanted to make people feel comfortable by asking them questions that they didn't necessarily need an answer to or giving them multiple choice just 'cause now that I've been on the other end of some of those interviews, I'm like, if you ask me how I feel in a certain moment, that's such a complicated question. And it's hard to answer without sounding like a fucking idiot to be frank. So we wanted to create a back and forth that felt like there was no pressure on the person to be funny. We're gonna have it be sort of lighthearted and silly. And if there was ever a lull, I just have another question for them. - Yeah. - And I had a lot of fun. And the response was really lovely and wonderful. And so, but it was one of those things too, where I was like, when are they gonna turn on me? - Yeah. - Because they're going to turn on me and I just don't know when. - Well, this is the big question we all have to contend with that way. - Yeah, and that was scary. But I had, yeah, it was great. I really, I couldn't feel the bottom of my feet for a few days 'cause I was standing in heels for that long. But yeah, I had fun. - You did a really phenomenal job and you bring up something so important, which is that publicists, as it stands, are a protected group in this country. And we need to open up at least the conversation and idea of discriminating against them. - Remove protected status for publicists. - Publicists are some of the most insidious and dark figures. And I want my publicist to tune out right now. Just log off for a moment. We'll let you know when it's safe to tune back in. - Yeah. - I love you guys, you do great work. But publicists as a class of people are some of the most horrendous like upsetting people I've ever had to interact with. - I want to say too, there were some that we didn't put out. There were only two that got held for publicist reasons. And then the rest were either creative decisions or just like, you know, at a certain point, if you just keep posting like people will just be like, okay, we get it. - Yeah. - Okay, you've seen it now. - We got the interview. - There are some we're gonna release as time goes on in a timely manner, that makes sense. But yeah, there was a publicist lounge in the hotel. - And it had a sign that says public, it had a sign that says publicist lounge. And when I walked by it, I had a chill. A chill one now. - Sponsored by the biggest purses you've ever seen, by the way. - Oh, the biggest purses and Purdue pharmaceuticals. - By the way. - Yeah. - Really, really. Yeah, also I wanna tell public figures, please stop hiding behind your publicist. Stop it. It's not working. Your agents and managers and publicists being mean to everyone on your behalf and then you showing up and being like, "Hey, how is everyone?" It's not working. We know that you're involved. We know that you're not unaware of, we know that you were sending a text being like, "Tell them I'm leaving in 45 fucking minutes, "I don't wanna be here." The like, my team will be the bad guy so I can show up and be the nice guy thing. If anyone was named to this as a public figure, I just want you to know it's not working. And I am assigning the way your team treats people to your ethics. From here on out. That's where I'm going because it's not working and I hate it. Publicists ask to come to records of this show and I say, "You can stand on the street and wait." - Yeah. "You can not interrupt me ever." - Yeah, one of those things, sit in a police van. - Yes. - Yeah, one of the things that you can hear what we're saying and then you can talk about it after. - And there won't be a communication line coming back to us. - No, certainly not. - If a publicist ever interrupts me during a thought, I am really scared. I think I would black out and do something really bad. - Something really, really bad. - Really, really, really bad. - We haven't interacted with that many publicists because we don't have guests on our podcast, but I can imagine and I will say there was minimal publicist intervention at the Golden Globes. Like, I do think people felt safe that if they needed to, they could step in but didn't interfere with the back and forth. - Yeah. - But there is just, yeah, there is something to be said for that and I do love my publicists, of course, because they have hearts of gold just like, 'cause that's not true. - My position behind this people I've ever met in my life. - Yeah, I agree with you. I don't think it's working. - The thing you said, people felt comfortable, they felt safe knowing they could jump in. I wanna create an environment of fear where they know they can't. You cannot jump in, your client is an adult and they can speak to me and other adult and make choices about the way they, you cannot step in to me having a conversation ever. Do not ever interrupt me. I just really don't have any tolerance for it. We're two adults having a conversation in public and our job is being in public. - Right. - I think they can handle the repercussions of slipping up on a word. - Right. - And by the way, we want everyone to look good in that situation. - I want to make anyone look bad. - So we were being extremely thoughtful as well in the edit of like, oh, let's cut this part 'cause it like, it dragged a little bit or like that one didn't land or whatever it is. Like, we don't wanna make these celebrities look like fools. And by the way, we could. - Depends on which one. - Well, yeah. - For me, it depends on which one. Ah! - I don't know, it depends. - Yeah, they're the whole buff. Just being consumed by the public. Do you ever get stressed by it or do you feel like you're at peace with it? - In which part, what do you mean? - Just constantly being, I guess the idea of like, even when we're having this conversation, people are consuming us on the internet. - Yeah. - Is that ever stress you out? - I have tried my very, of course. I have tried my very best to tune out of as much as possible. It will rot your brain. But I think more broadly than, I also really hope that when people listen to this show and we sometimes talk about what it's like to be perceived online, I hope everyone knows that it's not separate from what we're all experiencing. Like, this is actually a universal conversation. We all are contending with the stresses and repercussions of living in a time where we are living in the pinopticon. Every one of us, even who are not famous or have podcasts or stand-ups or whatever, every one of us is living in a time in society where we're all being watched all the time. And we all have to contend with that. So if it ever feels, yeah, I just want everyone to like, know that these conversations are actually about all of us and I'm just talking from my unique lens on it. - Yeah. - But we all live in this really fucked up time where everyone's watching us all the time. There's always a phone and a camera trained on all of us. - I mean, there's three cameras on us right now. - Right, and you came on purpose to do this. That's crazy. - Right. - I know. - But when you were walking down the street, there were probably hundreds of cameras on you. Like, yeah, it's a really crazy time to live in and I think as little as you can think about that is helpful because it's really not natural what's happening to us. We weren't supposed to be known by this many people. - Yeah, and just to also say, I am really grateful, gratitude. - Yeah. - I'm grateful for the audience that I have and I think I like to be thoughtful about what I say because I don't wanna let them down. You know, they've trusted me and they're supporting me and so I just wanna do right by them all the time. And so I don't want it to sound like I'm complaining at all 'cause we got into this knowing full well what it entails and obviously we're learning new things about what it's like to do this for a job every day but I do have a lot of gratitude and I just wanna do, I wanna use the platform for good and for entertainment. - Yeah. - But I just don't want it to ever feel like I'm complaining 'cause every opportunity that I have, I'm thankful for. Even being on this podcast, it's an honor to be asked back. I'm grateful to be on social podcasts. - This is I'm being, I'm being so genuine now and being earnest is another thing people out struggle with with me as they can't tell when I'm being earnest. - That's 'cause your cadence remains the same. - I know and I'm really sorry about that. - No, don't be sorry, I'm just telling you why, yeah. - I'm just expecting, not me, I love you and I feel very comfortable and open with you. - But people think I'm conceiving facetious when I'm not. - Yeah, I'm grateful for so many things. You know what I actually was thinking of recently? I really do practice gratitude a lot like as an actual practice, like sitting down and legitimately thinking about things I'm grateful for that I can walk, that I can see, that I can speak, that yeah, that I have like a financial situation that is so much better than when I grew up when I was growing up. I think about all these things. But recently I read something that has been sticking with me so much on Substack, I'm loving Substack. Can I just say, are you on Substack? - No. - Get on Substack girl. - Really? - Substack is so special to me. It's what finally encouraged me to get rid of TikTok. No offense to the TikTok lovers. Thank you guys for watching the videos and sharing them. But I was not having fun on TikTok. I didn't enjoy it. Substack. is awesome. Substack is so fun. People are writing really great stuff on there. The notes function on Substack is feeling so it's the first thing that has come close to making me feel like Twitter used to feel before it got awful. Twitter used to be amazing and I feel so bad for people that don't know that. I know. Early Twitter was so incredible. But yeah, people are writing and it's a lot of fun. And I'm reading lots of good stuff on there. But Substack I read something about someone was writing about they have a they have a family member who is schizophrenic and they were writing about how they had never their their their family member I guess develops schizophrenia or their symptoms changed or something but their mind wasn't always so impacted by schizophrenia. Yeah. And they were talking about the amount of gratitude they've started practicing around like having a sound mind. A mind that can like reason and make sense of things and isn't lying to them or playing tricks on them and I like really had never considered that in my gratitude practice. But it is actually when I get down to it the thing I am the most grateful for. Yeah. Is that I have a mind that I can trust. And that doesn't mean like I don't even mean that I'm smart. I mean I have a mind that isn't like it isn't playing voices that aren't there. It isn't telling me lies. It isn't like trying to destroy me all the time. It wasn't my 20s it my early 20s it was trying to destroy me with depression. But my mind is sound. And that is like so now I've been trying to find new things to be grateful for that I've never considered. And it's hard because most of them are just like the things you'd think of like my friends in my house. Yeah. You're sort of selling me on sub-stack because I love the idea of finding things like that that then are resonating with me and I don't really feel like I have a place for that right now. Like when I see things on TikTok that I like it's usually like fan edits of like I posted one that was like that feeling when a guy says you scare him you know and it's basketball players making their shots. Yeah. I would love to I would love to have my brain sort of stimulated by some more substantial thoughts like what you're describing. And I am I am thankful for my sound mind. I think one thing I haven't spoken about that much which I'm sure I will speak on it more as I've like processed it. My dad had dementia toward the end of his life and just watching watching him be able to trust his mind less and less. I've definitely been feeling more grateful for my health. Yeah. It's just about gratitude and hey you're grateful for sub-stack and you're grateful for that beautiful mind of yours. I really do love sub-stack. I also had a huge I had started when I started at sub-stack it was because I was ending my relationship with patreon and me and patreon. I thought you're gonna say something else. I was ending my relationship with a real person. With your boyfriend. Instead of a platform. No I was ending that we were moving over to sub-stack from patreon. Really nothing against patreon they were lovely and it was a great platform which just sub-stack offered more of what we needed. But we had made like we had told the fans what our sub-stack was going to be like and then I very quickly got overwhelmed by the amount of things that needed to happen and I had to like do something very difficult and be like hey it's actually not going to go like that. I have to pull back and some of these things I can't do. Yeah. And I was really scared because I I take very seriously people's money in attention. People's money in attention is very very very important to me. I don't fuck around about my shows being good. I don't fuck around about people getting their money's worth. I try to pay people very well. I'm very serious about people's money in attention. I don't ever want someone to feel like I'm caching in on them or like taking advantage. And everyone was like so sweet and lovely and understanding. It was during last year where I had the most psychotic work year of my life. Thank God I'm so grateful. I loved everything I did. Except for one thing. We can talk about off camera. But yeah it was so nice to like have a I just felt so endeared to my little community on substack that was so like kind to me. Well that's a reflection of the base that you've built. Which I'm grateful for with our podcast listeners as well because they obviously know who you are as a person. And it's a reflection of yeah like you are you're the magnet for those people. And I think that's when I'm really proud to have the fans that I have. And it feels weird to say fans but like you know the audience that I have. It's when I do shows and I invite other comedians on and they're like wow your crowds are so great. Like they're so attentive. They're locked in. They're laughing. It's like so they're the most fun shows. And it's because that's like what you're putting out. So I think that it's did anyone send you mean messages? No, some people canceled their subscription. Which I we said like please get a refund if you need to do that. We're still offering a lot. We offer ad free episodes and stuff on there. Like it's not like we took everything away. But there were people that did cancel their thing but they were very nice. And that that's appropriate. Money's tight. I do what you need to do. But they're like hey I love you. I just can't justify paying for this. If I'm not getting the thing I love they love the bonus interviews or whatever. And I was like good for you. Like there's no part of me that's like fuck you. They were so nice about it. But the thing about audience is being nice. I chance and I every venue we went to on tour last year. The venue staff would like tell us like your fans are the nicest people we have ever interacted with. And it like made us cry. Like it was so emotional and sweet because we feel that. Like we do feel that like we like nice people like our stuff and our our fans treat venue staff well. They tip. They like our polite and courteous and they follow the rules. And they're conscientious. They're nice people. Yeah. And it made me it's probably the proudest if I'm like proud of anything that I did last year. Probably the proudest moments were like venue staff telling us that our fans were the nicest people that come in the building. It means a lot. Yeah. And the fact that yeah, it's it's sort of a cycle because the fact that we would care about something like that I think is why. Yeah. Just people that are thoughtful and caring. And so I think if gratitude is the theme, then I'm feeling it. You're feeling gratitude. That's what I have to say. Are you happy? Be honest. I am not. Really? Not all the time. I have moments. Yeah. I guess I mean when I say that I don't think there's such a thing as a happy person like capital agents. I think you are. But I mean, do you feel yourself experiencing a lot of happiness lately? Or are we working on it? We're working on it. Yeah. I think one thing that was hard about the globes for me was like I went home and I was by myself. Like I really want to be in a relationship. I want to be in love. I want to build a life with someone. So to leave something that was so much stimulation and feel like oh my god, that was so fun. And then you go home and like no one's caring for me right now. And maybe that's important for my growth. And then when I meet the person, I'll be better because I'll know myself better about whatever, whatever, you know, all that crap. Stupid shit. Yeah. Stupid bullshit. That's dumb that we tell ourselves to make it hurtless. But I think that yeah, that's sort of the big hole in my life right now. And I'm trying to be comfortable with that. But it is hard. It's like I want someone to hold me and tell me I did a good job and rub my back and you know, I have a list of what I'm looking for. I'm my next partner. I'll share it with you after this if you're interested. But it's I'm I just want to be more I guess like, yeah, thoughtful about who I engage with in the future. And that's why I'm taking this break right now. I just need to really focus on on work, which focusing on work does make me happy. And when things are happening with work, I feel I feel those moments of joy. I would love to be fulfilled in in that area, but it's just not that it's just not the time for that right now for whatever reason. I feel I think the big challenge in life for everybody is like a piece will probably always be missing. Like I think we I think we all have to come to terms with like the fact that a piece will always be missing. The equation will never be completely perfect. Yeah. This thing will fall into place. That thing will shift out of place. There will always be something that could be better. I'll tell yeah, there will always be something that could be better. And that is so hard because that I think the hardest part about trying to be a person who's happy more often than they're not is like we have to. Yeah, we have to figure out the same. I want you know, I want to be in like a loving happy relationship, et cetera. Yeah. Yeah, you have to just we have to be like, okay, it'll happen when it happens. It'll happen when it happens. And I guess I don't know the people it's so hard. You're like, oh, people listen to this and do that or think this or whatever. But like I'm just being honest. I guess I'm I've always just led with honesty. And that's just how I'm feeling right now. It's like I want a partner. And I'm looking at my life and where I where I am at 34 is not where I thought I'd be in my like personal life. But I and people are always like be of all these great friends and blah, blah. I'm like, well, I'm not going to bring my 12 best friends as my date to a wedding. Am I? Yeah. You know exactly what the fuck I'm talking about. So don't don't come to me with that bullshit. Yes, of course. And I've put so much into my friendships and my friends really showed up for me in a beautiful way last year. Like you included. I had a very difficult year. And I'm so grateful for that. But like it's not the same as someone who's going to like wake up next to me and kiss me with morning breath and go get a coffee for me so I can sleep longer. Yeah. Like my friends aren't doing that. And I would never expect them to. I will say I took a pretty big swing when you called me about your dad passing. I know. I know. I know. I took a big swing. You called me crying and I said, first of all, relax. You should calm down. Stop being dramatic. Yeah. And I would the the millisecond it took to hear your laughter was one of the scariest moments of my life. I hope that you feel the comfortability to do that for the rest of our friendship until we're 90. I do. But then that 90 I need to tighten up. And 90 I think you should maybe pull it back a little bit. Yeah. And just be a little bit more respectful and serious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, it's it's it's tough because I guess they as they say, I think this was from Sex and the City, but maybe someone came up with it before and carried Bradshaw stole it. But you're always looking in New York as a woman in New York, you're always looking for a job, a boyfriend or an apartment. Yeah. So I yeah, where I'm at right now is that I am passively looking for an apartment, but And, and it could be a girlfriend too. - Hello. - It's just 2026. - Hello, let's say that. - Where's my g-flip? - Where I want you to find your g-flip so bad. - I want my g-flip. - We did your show true. It girls should not be having weddings, but you know we have to play true false. - Great. - Let's do it. - You know we do. It's the last thing. I'm going to reach you 15 statements, Mary Beth Barone, and you're going to tell me as quickly as you can after each one. If you think what I just said is true or false, if you get 10 and more correct, I'm going to give you 50 US dollars, are you ready? - Well, yeah. Bath and Body Works was founded in 2000. - False. - False 1990. There's an active volcano in Colorado. - True. - True. - Squids have beaks. - False. - True. Boston College's motto is look to the heavens. - That is false. - False, it is ever to excel. - That's what I was going to say if you didn't say it. - Yeah, Mercury is the only planet in the solar system with no moons. - False. - False, it's Mercury and Venus. Liz and McGuire ran for two seasons. - True. - True. No US president has ever been without a first lady. - False. - False, James. We can't end. Bulls are colorblind. - True. - True. West Hill High School's newspaper is called The Hiller. - That is false. It's called The Westward. - It's called The Westward. - Dan Marino played his whole career with the Miami Dolphins. - True. - True. Samsung means three stars in Korean. - I can't speak on that. I won't answer. - I have to answer. - False. - It's true. - Huck. - Antqueens can live up to 30 years. - Antqueens can live up to 34 years 'cause I am one. - What are you going with? You better pick a true verse. - True. - It is true. Protestants are the largest Christian denomination. - Oh true. - False, it's Catholics. The Connecticut State Anthem is Yankee Doodle. - False. - True. Kathy Bates is an Egot winner. - False. - False. How'd she do? - 11. - Wow, let's go. - I can roll, I want my 50. - That's huge, you'll be getting it. Mary Beth, tell the people where they can find you what they should do to support. - You can find me at Mary Beth Barone on all social platforms. And I'm touring. There's a few tickets left in Dallas and a few in Providence, but they might be gone by the time this comes out. So you better act fast. - You better hold. - There's a bit. - You better invent a time machine and act fast. - Hello. - You can also find me as the co-host of Ride the Podcast, which by the time this comes out, we will be on a hiatus between seasons three and four, but you can always go back and listen from the first episode. - And you should. - And you should. And you can watch over compensating on prime video. - You can. - You can. - And you can text Benny and tell him to put me in season two because he asked me, he asked me at Union Hall if I would come back for season two. - Yeah. - Hypothetically, I said Benny. Of course I would. - I told him that too. - Make CJ some psychotic little arc for one episode. - Please. - What are we talking about? - Also, I will, I will have a Netflix special at some point this year so look up for that. - Yeah, you will. Love you, thanks for doing it.