Martin Short Returns Again

Hi, my name is Martin Short, and I feel sexually excited about being Conan O'Brien's friend. Oh, you hit the nail on the head, buddy. Oh, phrase maker. Folly's here, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell, brand new shoes, walkin' loose, climb the fence, books and pens, I can tell that we are gonna be friends. Yes, I can tell that we are gonna be friends. Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, and I am joined by my gang of goons. Sonam Ossessian, Matt Gourley, how y'all doing? Pretty good, how are you? Good, good. We're doing great. I just got back from Aspen. I was in Aspen, Colorado, because I'm very proud. My mom. My wife, Liza, who's a very good writer, wrote a play that was accepted at this festival in Aspen, Playwrights, and so they had different readings of different plays, and she did hers, and it was fantastic. Oh my God. It's called Ruthless, and very beautifully directed by Mimi O'Donnell, and this actor, Jodie Markell, is great, and I was thrilled. And what's interesting is that it was a bit of a role reversal, because often I've got this big show to do or something, and Liza will come by and check it out if she wants to, but doesn't always want to, and I don't blame her, because she's got a lot of other things to do, but I was the plus one. So she would be working in rehearsals with the director and with the actor, and they were all working really hard, and I was just wandering around by myself in Aspen. It's kind of deserted right now. Really? Because the season's over, and the October season hasn't. Really? Really? Really? Really? It hasn't really kicked in yet for the leaves, so I was just wandering around by myself. I think three times I ran into a bear. Are you serious? I'm not kidding. I'm fascinated by bears. I love bears. I've always wanted to see a bear. The sad part is that there was not much rain in the mountains this year, so the bears are really hungry. If there's not as much snow and rain and not a lot of snowpack, I guess there's less food for the bears. So they came down. They came down into Aspen, and they were queuing up at coffee shops. Dining out. I mean, they were everywhere, but I did see twice I saw, maybe even three times, that wasn't a bear. That was some dude. Maybe he was a bear. There we go. There you go. Yeah. He heard there were bears in town, and he misunderstood. Do you get scared? No, I don't. I should get scared, but I will go towards a bear, and I will admit now that is the wrong thing to do. You will go towards a bear? I will. I guess if I was on a trail and I saw a grizzly, I'd back up, but I have just terrible instincts in a situation like that because I so love a bear, and I just want to tickle him and see what happens. Oh, I don't think he wants to tickle you. Well, he did when he found out I was wearing my underwear bacon. No, I'm sorry. I said that backwards. My bacon underwear. I just reversed it. You eat underwear for breakfast. I eat underwear strips next to some eggs. I meant to say bacon underwear, but I'm a little jet lagged from my Aspen trip, but it was really fun, and I do. Yeah, when you see a bear, it's electrifying. I mean, it's not that scary because I think these bears don't want to see you as much as you don't want to see them. Certain bears are scared off by. They say you're supposed to get as big as you can, so you're tall, and you're very visible. The rule is black attack, brown lay down. We learned that here. Yeah, we did. Wait, so you're saying if it's a black bear, you're supposed to attack it? Well, I think like Gourley is saying, make yourself big. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, but no one says you're supposed to attack it. If you're listening right now and you just heard what Blay said, that means Blay hears that there's a black bear somewhere in the vicinity and suits up. That's why I have my swords. That's why I have all my swords. He gets one of his nerd swords or a lightsaber and starts looking for it to kick ass. Nothing else rhymes with black. They do say you can make yourself big. Mostly, it's make noise. So a lot of people in walking around had air horns or are new to make noise. So were there all black bears there? Is that how it works? The ones I saw, the two I saw looked pretty brown, but I don't know if they were just wearing a brown coat. I saw very fashionable black bears wearing beautiful Ralph Lauren brown coats. Are you a good audience member or do you like? No, I'm good. Are you? OK, because I, you know, I wonder if sometimes you hear somebody tell a joke and they don't say it right. Are you like in your head? Are you like, oh, you could have delivered that better? I get into it. I can get into it. I think I'm a good audience member. I used to go and see other comedians perform and I didn't even realize I was doing this. But the whole time I was shouting, why aren't I up there? You didn't realize I didn't realize it. And then Liza would say, do you realize? I realize what you're saying. Did I? Yes. John Mulaney was performing and you shouted, why aren't I up there? And the audience in unison said, because we prefer John Mulaney. He's less needy. But no, I really get into it. I was I was loving it. Can we see Liza's play? Will it play anywhere else? I don't know what the future is. It's called Ruthless. And I don't know if I should say too much about what the play is about, but it was. It's really good. I'm really proud of her. Yeah. So that happened. But it was just funny to be wandering around. I had a lot of time on my own. At one point, I rented a bicycle and I rode down to Woody Creek. Woody Creek. There's a tavern in Woody Creek that used to be frequented by Hunter S. Thompson. Oh, wow. Who was a guest on my old late night show twice. And I had an amazing time with him. He's such an iconic figure in Aspen. He's just great writer. Amazing personality. And he used to hang out in this place. It's called the Woody Creek Tavern. And I go in and I met this gentleman, a complete stranger named Kevin. And he said, I'll ride down with you. So we rode down there on bikes together. Insanely beautiful countryside. Just gorgeous. And you're on this amazing bike trail. We went down to the Woody Creek Tavern. You made a friend? Yeah. That's nice. And it wasn't through the podcast. He said, I should tell you, I hate the podcast. But that does mean the podcast is over. That's fine when you bro down. We finally got one after all this time. But we rode down to the Woody Creek Tavern. And we belly up to the bar to get a sandwich. All of a sudden, I hear the song 9 to 5 playing. And maybe 12 women wearing wigs and Dolly Parton t-shirts. Matt O'Brien. Matt O'Brien. Oh, wow. This is perfect. Perfect. Hello, Matt. Hey, I'm right here. Yeah. Matt, I'm doing the podcast right now. And I forgot to turn off my phone. So this is perfect because now you famously have blundered onto the pod. And you're being recorded as we speak. Hi, Matt. Hi, Matt. Yeah, it's fantastic. What are you talking about? Well, we were just talking about how different writers of mine over the years have annoyed me. And I was just about to get to you and say, Matt O'Brien, no relation. But, you know, brilliant writer of mine. Worked with me. He works with me on all my different endeavors. You also work on The Daily Show. And you are fantastic. But you have this habit of always interrupting me. And just showing up at the wrong time. And sure enough, here I was telling an amazing story about my trip to Aspen, the Woody Creek Tavern. And how I ran into a bunch of women celebrating the life of Dolly Parton wearing wigs. And then selling the phone. What'd you say? What'd you say? What'd you say? Go right ahead. What did you say, Matt? Repeat it. I said it sounds privileged. Oh, it sounds privileged. It sounds privileged. Yeah. I went there to see Liza's play. It was a wonderful play. And then I rode a bicycle. It was down to a tavern. And that's me in the one half of one percent. Aren't you going to ask me what it feels like to be your friend? Okay. Why don't you tell people. This is actually. Yeah, we'll put the music in. Yeah. Quickly, Matt. Tell the people listening. Because this was a complete accident that you called in. Because I would never arrange for you to call in. In a million years. You are the last person on that list. Matt. You've worked with me in, you know, Oscars, Emmys, the late night show, travel show. You know, you're an incredible fellow. Hey, thanks. Wow. Wow. You sound. Yeah, that was all you could muster, huh, Matt? But people, that's a good question. What is it like to be my friend? Oh, okay. Hi, I'm Matt O'Brien. And I am. Uh, tortured to the very core of my soul to become. Is it, uh, in a nutshell, what's it, what's it like, Matt? I'm a real sweet guy, aren't I? A real, a real, a real chum for the ages, wouldn't you say? After you said he'd be the last person you'd call. Of course, that's, uh, I'm sorry, what did you say? How often do I text you or call you? Uh, pretty often. It's usually just, but terse, nonsensical stuff that doesn't, it wouldn't really translate. Right. I, it's just most of what our conversations are me saying absolute nonsense and you asking, to get to the point. - Yeah, however, Whatever tangents that they edit out from the podcast end up on our text message. Well, someday I'll get you on a real segment and we'll talk about what it's really like to be a friend to Conan O'Brien. I'd be happy to share. Yeah. And then we'll edit it and we'll make sure that it's suitable for listening. OK, well, I'm sorry to interrupt. I was returning your call, though. So I did. I called you this morning and I think I said some nonsense onto a voicemail that doesn't make. So I apologize for wasting more of your life. I should play at some point for your audience. I have a bunch of old voicemails from you and each one is just gibberish. Then the next one, gibberish and then more gibberish. And it just builds to this crescendo of an insane person spinning out on someone's voicemail. I will make sure we never get to that segment. All right, Matt O'Brien, until we see you again. Good night. Good night. And God bless. Bye. Bye, guys. Bye. Say hi to Megan. Hilarious writer. Yeah. Yes. And a shout out to his lovely wife, Megan. Yes. All right. So anyway, that was both my quick trip to Aspen, ran into some wonderful women celebrating the life of Dolly Parton, who made me dance to the song 9 to 5 with them. Total happening. And now I'm back. And this was all interrupted by very good writer, but an annoying friend, Matt O'Brien. That's awesome. All right. They've written an introduction for our guest. Yes, today, which is just insane. Why would I need to read off an introduction? It says my next guest is a hilarious comedian, a good friend who stars on the hit Hulu series, Only Murders in the Building. And in the documentary, You Had to Be There, which I've watched, and it's fantastic. But I'm just going to shorten this. This is the funniest person you'll ever meet in the world. And he's one of my dear friends. And I can never believe that he even knows my name, if he does. Martin Short, welcome. We had a little time in London recently. Yes, we did. I was there to interview a certain Mick Jagger, clang, name drop. And then you were there shooting a wonderful new season of Only Murders in the Building. Only Murders in the Building, which we're this season calling Only Murders in London. In London. Very nice. Always good to switch it up. Then. It's like when the Brady Bunch went to Hawaii. And I got together with you at a lovely restaurant. I wonder what would happen if you ever did a reference that played to people under 60. Wouldn't it be great? Just to try it. I'm afraid. I'm afraid to get outside my bubble. Yeah. It's like when Hannah Montana went to Sicily. There you go. Wow. And she meets the mob. We had a lovely time. We had a lovely time together. Just you and I in London. Wasn't that something? We had a fabulous dinner at the River Cafe. Yeah. And I thought, this is, I know that I started out, I wanted this to be an insult. But instead, it's morphing into, I get to have dinner with Martin Short. That's the overwhelming feeling that I had that night. But then we really talked and I felt differently. I know. I changed my opinion. And I kept looking at you and thinking, you know, it's almost like, you know, I'm not going to be able to do this. It's almost like I was seeing you in a new light. Because that night I thought, he looks like the love child between Lurch and Kathy Griffin. And I don't often feel that about people. Because you're very, you know, you're pale. You're very pale. You look like a Q-tip with ketchup on it. It's not fair. No, I mean, you're white. You look like a human. You look like a human surrender. Yes. Which I kind of am. No, but you handle it all well. Because that night people would come up, remember, you were so recognized, or you thought. Yeah, I thought. And then people would come up, oh, big fan, Tilda Swinton. And I took it graciously. It was beautiful. I was very gracious. No, it's a miracle whenever you're here. In what way? Well, you've reached a certain age where I'm shocked when you show up. You know? Wow. It's incredible. Meanwhile, you look like Ed Sheeran in a funhouse mirror. So I wouldn't, you're a hot one to talk. I need to say that Matt Gourley and Summer Session loathe me. And they love it. Their favorite thing is when Marty Short stops by. This feels like the purge. The one time a year where it's safe. Well, I love being here because, you know, I'm going to do Amy Poehler's podcast. I need to rehearse stuff. You need to get ready for the big time. Oh, yeah. I understand. This is like, you know, in Boston when they take shows there. That's good hang. Now, we're very. I don't know what we are. We're not good hang. No, we love each other. Everyone knows that. Do they? We are closer than Cash Patel's eyes. I mean, we are a team. I was watching him today on the news. He does look like he's been hit over the head with a pan. Oh, he really has. Oh, my God. That poor fellow. Yeah. He looks like if cocaine had a face. Oh, God. You know, we do have to bring up that you did get, you have the best slam, Conan O'Brien slams of all time. You slam everyone. But they're easy. Oh, boy. Yes, I know. We don't have to get into how easy they are. But boy, do you salivate. I mean, this is a guy who's known as Carrot Bottom. Do you remember the time you came on the show and you just got me with so many great and I'm dying laughing the whole time. And then one of my fans, remember, one of my fans was online saying, oh, yeah, oh, you know, do you realize that Conan's six four and he could take you apart? This is me in heaven with the person. And I trust me, I like Liza, but I love Marty Short. I'm so happy when you go after me. It just feels so good. It just fills me with joy. It's very hard to do because you are a handsome thing, although you do look. Oh, here we go. No, no, no. No, no. And to be fair, I do. Go ahead. You know, those inflatable tube men in front of a used car lot. There you go. Listen, I know beneath all of this scorn and hate. No, no, no. Love, love. Oh, yes. I had it all wrong. Because we're both Irish. Yes. You know. And your dad from born and raised in Ireland. And I always thought that, see, I would, when I first met you, I thought, okay, he is a man. He is the product of an Irish woman and a tabby cat. And that's the look. That's kind of the look. But few people have influenced me more than this gentleman here. You know that. I look at you, and I know drink less, get a lot of sleep, moisturize. Yes. No. Moisturize. Well, we're going to get, we're going to talk about this. There's so much to talk about, but I just watched You Had to Be. Which is a documentary about, it's your origin story, but it's not just your origin story. Every, seemingly, every funny person in Canada got together and auditioned for this one production of Godspell. Well, it was a fascinating time. It was 1972. You know, I have a slight rain man for dates. It was March 25th, 1972. And these were the callbacks for Godspell. But there was a world in Toronto at that time that was just like a ripe field of unbelievable talent, but it hadn't been picked. So I remember knowing Danny Aykroyd then, but he always kind of smelled the gasoline because he was always working on his car. He wanted to be a Mountie at that time. And so this Godspell audition, the callbacks, there were like 500 people. Everyone wanted it. And then there were fans, I mean, friends of the people auditioning for the callback at the back. It felt like American Idol. And they narrowed it down to 10 people, and it was Gilda Radley. And it was Gilda Radley. Andrea Martin, Eugene Levy, Paul Schaefer, Martin Short, Victor Garber was Jesus. And it was just, and this was a 24-year-old Stephen Schwartz kind of going, like, he was kind of, and I remember there was a one moment where it was between me and this other very talented guy named Andrew. And I remember Stephen was on the stage. He went, Andrew, you are fabulous. I think we're going to go with Martin. Yeah. And you kind of went. And I feel like just because. I did. It seemed surreal. I was still in university. I still had exams to do. So I watched this documentary, and it's made for someone like me because, as I've said many times, the show that influenced me much more than Saturday Night Live was SCTV. And that was the show that was for me and also introduced me to a way of thinking about comedy that was very funny slash stupid slash smart slash complicated and intricate. It was a. Atom bomb blast for me. It was everything. And so that's how I got to know all these hilarious people. My brothers and I watched it together. I think we got it off a Buffalo station. We were in Rhode Island at my grandfather's little cottage, and it got bounced off and my brothers and I would watch it. And we built this religion around SCTV, all these amazing people. And to this day, I mean, it was the same with Catherine O'Hara, you, Eugene, anyone, Joe Flaherty, anyone from the Andrea. Anyone from that cast, whenever I meet them, I step outside my body. to this day and think, I get to talk to them and I think they know my name. That's how crazy it was. And then to find out the origin story for a lot of this is this, you know, when I first heard this, oh, there's this amazing legendary run of Godspell, 1972 Toronto. And I don't think of Godspell as like a hip, cool. No, I think what it was is it just, I mean, it's a great show, but I think, and of the time it was kind of important, but I think the reality is that it was odd that all these people, I mean, Gilda Radner, she had never worked before. And she got up and auditioned with Zippity-Doo-Dah. And she had two pigtails going out and she was wearing bib overalls and she just marched around, Zippity-Doo. And I thought, look, that's the saddest thing I've ever seen. That poor. Special needs lady, you know. One of the things I love about this documentary, You Had To Be There, is such a great story, but you are a very unusual man, but you were an extremely unusual kid. And what's amazing is you were, you had the show business bug seemingly from nowhere, because you're living in Toronto. Hamilton. Hamilton, Ontario. Oh, you're living in Hamilton, Ontario. Which is 40 miles west of Toronto. 40 miles west. And you, no relation in any way to TV. It's the 60s. There's no way you're ever going to be famous or be known. No, absolutely. You go up into your attic and with a tape recorder and you start making a show and you sing on it, but as a 15, 14, 15-year-old. Oh, I would do medley of songs that weren't nominated, you know. Yeah. But you would do Sinatra. Yeah. You would do Sinatra and sing full out. And one of the great things about this documentary is that you have the tapes. I know. I taped everything. My brother, Michael, used to say that Marty will tape the first half of his life and the second half, listen to the first half. So I had, I used to have a reel-to-reel, but I would do these shows and I had a deal, an NBC, Imaginary. Imaginary. In your head, you had to deal with NBC. But I did an hour show every other Tuesday, which left time for me to, for my Imaginary film career, you know, because I didn't want to work that much. And I was also performing live in the Copa. No, it was all made up, but I had an applause record. Yes. From Sinatra at the Sands that I doubled. So you have two tape recorders. Oh yeah, I had two tape recorders. I had a reel-to-reel and a cassette. And, uh. I'd say, And did it my way. When I, to get the applause. And then you hear, shh, from this, from that, from Sinatra's show. And then someone would go, dinner, and then I'd tape later. Yeah. But there's a really fun moment in the documentary because they use animation a lot in the documentary because there's, there's things that are not recorded and, um. Well, there's no real footage. There's no real footage of the show, but there's a lot of photographs of you guys back then, but they do this, this great bit where they animate you doing this show in your attic and then they pull out and you're just a silhouette in a window in a, in a Hamilton. Yeah, I know. Um, my favorite stories are all about the beginning. If someone talks about the Beatles, the part that interests me the most is the early sixties. You know, they haven't made it. How many things had to go right. Um. Right. The camaraderie, us against the world. Those are the stories I like the most. And the story of you guys, all of you. And to think about all the other people involved, like Lorne Michaels is not involved in that production, but you guys all know him because. Yeah, I met Lorne in, uh, he came and saw Godspot. I met him backstage in 1973. Yeah. We've been running for a while. And everyone, and basically the way it works when you look at it now is all, so many, uh, fantastically funny people. Not all of them are in the show. There's just a couple of you that are in the show. It's, it's a murderer's row of really funny, legendary people, but you're all connected to these people. You're all connected to these other people. Right. And then at one point, Lorne starts it by saying, hey, let's take, to the rest of the world, 1975. I was a kid, but I remember it's Saturday Night Live coming on. And I didn't know who Gilda, none of us knew who Gilda Radner was. No. No one of us, none of us knew who Dan Aykroyd was. Or Belushi. Or Belushi. But if you had been in that world, you knew all these people and you knew they were funny. Oh, absolutely. You were just waiting for this to happen. Yeah. I mean, it was an astounding thing. To suddenly your friend Gilda, who had been my girlfriend for a couple of years, was now on SNL. And, and I remember now I was going out with Nancy, who I would later marry. But at one point I wanted to extend my career to the South and Nancy and Gilda worked it out that I could stay at Gilda's apartment. Yes. You are, you are with Nancy, the love of your life. Yes. And then you want to live with Gilda. Well, no, no, no. We had just for a couple of weeks. No, no, no, no. I didn't apply anything. You want to, you guys wanted to talk about work and the next maybe steps for you and you, but, but you, I like it. And then before you know it, someone says, is there any wine? And then like a wind blew too heavily, the clothes are gone. That's right. You guys, uh, one of the things that, I mean, I would go there, you do this Godspell had 488 performances. At the Royal Alexandra theater, uh, in, in Toronto, but with the documentary captures, and I'm so glad they made it. Cause I always wanted to know more about this is, well, you could have asked me, I would have just, but then you might've told me it's called a conversation. I prefer my monologues. You know, uh, I mean, I, you know, I mean, I've had many dinners with you and it's great to, and I have all these siblings and it's fun. All the names and yeah, the one house, but I've heard it. I've heard it. So once in a while you have to ask a question. So what have you done since Godspell? There's no record. I see nothing here. There's absolutely nothing. Um, that there's a house that you and Eugene Levy, have they put a plaque on that house? You guys would all get, well, those are the greatest parties in the world. And that was a party house. And then, um, we had a, for a year and then now I'm living with Gilda and Eugene got another room and then he gave it up and John Candy took over that. Oh my God. Yeah. And I'm sure it took wonderful care of it. Um, and he also had a few parties. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. Uh, I was thinking about it. I remember it very clearly. I was in a conversation. A couple of people were around. Tom Hanks was in the room and we were all talking about if we could be present for a moment in history and me being a history buff or whatever, me saying, well, I'd like to see what, you know, the conversation between Lee and Grant at Appomattox to close the civil war. I said something like that. And everyone said the thing. And Tom Hanks said, I would like to be present a fly on the wall, uh, at some of those parties that, that Godspell cast had in 1972. And I thought like, Oh my God, Tom Hanks. Tom is right. But you want Lee and Grant there as well. I want Lee and Grant there. I want them fucked up on marijuana. Well, no, I mean, the parties were loose, but had Lee and Grant been there, I think they would have brought it down. Cause that was that Robert E. Lee, sure he could ride a horse, but at a party, you're right. No, no, you know what it was amazing saying? You should see me on a horse. But you're not on a horse. What do you have to tell us about your life? What's funny? Well, and then it, but in the nineties and two thousands, Nancy and I would have these Christmas parties and people would get up and perform and they were really based on what we used to do in Toronto in that house. Paul Schaefer was always on the piano and people would get up. There was like a living room and then there was another room attached where the piano was and a frame. And that was kind of the stage and people would get up and do numbers and thing. And every, everyone, you know, Bill Murr, anyone who was in town. So I, I, I, I'm watching the documentary and what really comes to, cause there's a lot of photographs of that, of that period. And there actually is some film that survives, which is amazing. Yes, I know. But boy, you are an, you are 22, I think you are an imp and you are. Adorable. Oh, no, no, no. I was going to go a different way. Oh. More of a Chucky vibe. Scarred, deformed. And the energy. And first of all, you can see that this is what amazes me about you. A few years have gone by since then. And your work, your, your, the fighting you did in the Korean war is incredible. Well, I was just so angry cause it seemed unfair. But I don't, I still think you have as much energy and presence today that you had in 1972. I'm looking at you, uh, just alive, like an, like a, just a piece of beef jerky. that's hit the third rail and is capering about. - Boy, you know how to woo someone. someone yeah not good jerky not high quality but it is true it is true in the 70s where suddenly cocaine was the popular thing i just thought i don't think i need it that's exactly i could be hyper and then you know guess who's with you 100 on that i i've never done cocaine in my life i've been offered it and my standard reply is do you want to see this coked up no you do not no no no you knew no there's no need for that no we've uh we were given our coke in utero somehow i don't know that's true but uh you're unbelievable because you have that energy then and you have it now and it's also just it's not just in terms of the energy the physical energy that crazy presence that need to perform and i'm gonna even take out perform just the neediness i look up to you because mine is bad but yours is well i look up to you because i think of i was thinking i was driving here today because you know you didn't send a car or anything and um those are expensive yeah and i thought conan you host and then you host and then you other shows you host i mean i mean it really is it's i mean it's it's talent with a big mocha swirl of luck how much what's the ratio oh it's nine to one so it's it's mostly just the swirl it's mostly just the swirl of luck no you're you're kind of a lanky ed sullivan and you've done this beautifully thank you yeah thank you i'm not a lanky ed sullivan i'm not a lanky ed sullivan i'm not a lanky ed sullivan i'm not a i've done the best i can with oh my god and the money you have made well it's not as much as you think and i've invested poorly you know that well all those broadway shows yeah i love a broadway show al joey with um with gallagher as al joey was a bad investment my transformers musical that i put all my money into uh no i just i look at that and then um to see you guys all come together first of all of you and gilda how you were together but breaking up constantly i didn't know that part you guys were together and then would break up and then you get back together you break up you get back together yeah well you know the thing is with gilda is that she was 26 to my 22 so i didn't really understand you know because she was complicated she had lots of emotions and she was i mean literally everyone wanted to be her best friend and every guy wanted to go out with her i mean but she didn't always believe that so that would lead to us what's wrong with you know you know me fighting because i didn't quite understand you just thought you were gilda radner why can't you just be happy all the time family money so you know you know yeah she had family money first of all if you have family money you should have a smile on your face right yeah and then and then so so but but then we would know and we would get back together and so when we finally when we broke up then the next day i saw my wife to be in the who i'd already met and she was an understudy she was an understudy but i hadn't seen her for a few months and we met in a bar and she just broke up with a boyfriend and then we started going out the next day yeah and then about a week later gilda phoned me and said we're supposed to get back together again what's going on you've made other plans i've made other plans but i always adored gilda yeah and dinners with did you know gilda do you ever meet her i did not i was working i was a writer at saturday night live and i came in it was a show day steve martin was the host and i came in all of us came in and we got word i was standing at the craft service table and someone came in and said gilda had died and may 20th 1989 yeah and so uh steve did a brilliant you know uh tribute to her at the top of the show well they showed dancing in the dark which was that brilliant piece they did yeah that she and steve had done steve he's just whipping her around like a rag yeah yeah ah man but i know i i didn't um i never got to meet her but you would have adored her yeah well i the other thing too is i think um the reason you adored her on television uh would also be the same reason why you'd adore her in real life it was what you see is what you get is that the correct absolutely yeah and just so original and so funny and you just kind of had a big purse and she's always looking for things or i talking the documentary when when the first time i met her she came up to me and hi i'm gilda and it's so nice to meet you and she had a pimple here and she was just she was covering it with her finger like that's gonna help yeah that's gonna help and it's really sweet at the end when you guys survivors who are most of you are still still with us all get together at that theater yeah and you all hug and have what appeared to be a lot of drinks and then that was at a party in in new york it wasn't at the theater it wasn't at the theater okay i'm so glad you watched documentary with detail it showed you all walking into a brick building which i thought oh this is cool they got back together no no no it said it was see here's the thing it is better to just look at something and put the hand mirror down because that becomes a distraction i don't see that no no what i want to do is what i usually do is try and get my face in the hand mirror and then get some of the documentary but when it's on fast forward it's hard to catch i think i see gilda i think i see eugene and something about godspell all those people that i mean it's amazing but those three women of andrea martin katherine o'hara and gilda yeah we're pretty astounding to hang with and know and you know i mean when you were at my cottage and katherine would come over i think she came she came over on the boat with bow yeah and um and eugene i mean just like uh to be at marty short's cottage and a boat pulls up and all my heroes get out just to what is it you drink on the dock rum and ting rum and what is ting ting is um a it's a carbonated grapefruit drink very popular in jamaica and when in 1985 i visited the set of club paradise all my friends were in it that's right robin williams was in it and like so many people from sctv yeah andrea and and steven kent all these people and so i visited the set and the big drink was rum and ting and then when i got my cottage in 92 my my early guests were katherine and bow katherine and bow welch and she presented me with a case of ting that she'd gotten from the jamaican market in toronto i remember we're staying uh lise and i are uh invited we go and to get invited to marty's country for me this is like i'm getting a nobel peace prize so i show up and he said i think at one o'clock in the afternoon it's time we go to the dock and have rum and ting it's one o'clock heaven and uh it was fantastic it was great i um and you don't just have one of those no no no no no no no no no no no no no no that was bill hater's impersonation of lauren how you get to nobu you go pch and then you go right right right right right oh god the um i've always wondered what it was i was at katherine's service former prime minister trudeau was there and he said hello and i practically grabbed him by the lapels and i said i've never had a good explanation of what what is in canada that gives you people this superpower and he very happily talked to me about it for a while yeah i did i did and um because no one's ever answered it to my satisfaction and it is something to do with being we're talking about this at a very strange time in politics uh very you think i i've come to believe that things are a little askew oh hot take yeah this is my hot take i think things are a tiny bit worrisome i don't know why i'm jiminy glicking it you'd have fun with askew isn't that wonderful to be askew more more more more more jiminy glick needs to hold forth on trump and what he's doing with canada and you and yeah and me oh he has he has i've been savaged by no it is it is just hilarious though the level of onslaught against canada canada yeah but you know we'll get to that in a minute america yeah you guys were always i don't mind that except that you know now that there's a blue liner that's floating on the lake it wasn't there before you know no he's something he's he's he's he's beyond any parody or satire that you can do but because um i was i started this by saying there's something about canada it makes you know per capita when you when you factor in population and all that way more funny people insanely funny people than it should and you think is it in the water is there like a zinc deposit is there something in the food well I always thought that part of it was influence we were like the middle sibling you had the fabulous Emma Thompson beautiful sophisticated British sister and then the younger kind of you know sexy young Zsa Zsa Gabor is that a new reference yeah I was gonna I was gonna go Ava Gabor but sure okay no no and then we we're in the middle and we kind of don't know how beautiful we are because we've got glasses and the hair pinned back you know and so but it's true it's it is you could operate in America's shadow we got British influence we got American influence and also in the 70s around SNL now it was what was popular for the first time were not so much stand up but character character work yeah and characters Canadians observing the United States observing Britain being in the middle they're they're you know they're the perfect fodder for making fun of people and I'm gonna be going behind me but satirizing creating characters based on people that you meet yeah and that's what what was the revelation to me about SCTV was it was the character comedy yeah it wasn't set up so much of comedy if you look at comedy in the 50s in the 60s all the stuff that we were fed I was watching it you guys were watching it and it was ba-dum-bum and then suddenly this show came along that wasn't even you know Saturday Night Live as brilliant as it was was individual sketches that then ended and a band would play and SCTV created a whole world a whole world where you could visit and then revisit and people could reappear and then go away and like Monty Python Monty Python Monty Python's genius was a sketch should be should last as long as it's funny and then it should end instantly and that was what SCTV did yeah but we had an advantage of SNL because we could edit yeah I mean sometimes you'd write a great you'd think a brilliant movie parody and then you'd watch it and uh-huh I get it four more minutes and yet I get it oh this can be a good movie promo yes just a promo but at SNL the sketches it is and maybe if you edited those pieces you could bring them down but it's not an edited show it's a live show one of the things that has never quite made sense to me is that the show ends Godspell and within three two years three years Gilda's on Saturday Night Live and Dan Aykroyd within two years within two years and then you know she is one of the most famous women in the United States but what happened was that the second Godspell ended Second City which had never done a sister company mm-hmm moved I mean created a second company in Toronto it was in Chicago and they made one in Toronto it's still in Chicago but now they opened one in Toronto a sister company and that and everyone in Godspell wanted to get it so you they hired Eugene John Candy Gilda and all the you know all these people and you talk about it in the documentary but now it seems absurd to me that someone would watch you on stage and not immediately say this guy needs to be one of the biggest comedy stars in the world but it took a while for you which doesn't make sense I was asked I just never auditioned for Second City I was used to being like the funny guy at parties and on stage but this idea of improvising I don't know why but it scared me you might be the best improviser I've ever seen so how did that it doesn't make sense to me well I kind of felt like it was comedy under pressure and I didn't like that and also I wanted to be Sinatra I wanted to you know be an actor an actor I know Frank Jr. I never was aiming for the dad everyone has their idea of what they were going to be before before the at this period you're still thinking of yourself then as a a singer a performer yeah a performer an evening with Martin Short there you go and then but then comedy now exploded and I'm still what's a nice country like you doing cabaret shows don't ever do that again and I was or cold cuts that was one of them cold cuts the music of Cole Porter you know oh god oh no it was it was did you have an agent advising you at the time no I didn't one of the great comic minds and performers of all time I sing Sinatra and Cole Porter yeah so anyway and then after a couple years then I realized the error of my ways and I phoned up Andrew Alexander who owned Second City and said because I had been asked to join it and I said I would love to join it and he fired someone and put me in so in the documentary and I know this for a fact I think it's one of your first pieces for SCTV was you doing Jerry Lewis live at the Champs Elysees yes live at the Champs Elysees and it's one of the most I just encourage anyone listening right now Jerry Lewis live at the Champs Elysees I can't say it uh and it is one of the most unhinged still performances you're fake conducting which Jerry loved to do yeah but it's um it's one of the most unhinged things you've ever seen and so the very idea that the guy who's doing that six months prior is saying I want to do some I just want to sing Cole Porter it makes no sense it made no sense but what was funny about that piece is when I see it now is the thing that I love you know he's jumping you know I'm conducting and I'm like but then you cut to Jerry lecturing the audience yes aggressively they're afraid of a perfectionist but he's in a he's in a little boy Buster Brown suit Buster Brown yeah little stinky suit yeah but he's got the cigarette yeah and if the head of the studios don't get it this week with the pimples in the forehead you know and he's lecturing which what's another side of Jerry that was the other side of Jerry uh I told you I've told you this but he he was on our show and I went back to the dressing room Mr. Lewis and he told me I don't do a Jerry but he said I watch you and I see what you do and I love it and I said oh well thank you so much Mr. Lewis and he's like yeah call me Jerry okay and he said you do something it's very good and I'm gonna tell you what it is every night you come out you say you're going to do something you do it and then and this is the most important part you tell the audience it has been done you tell the audience Jesus I don't I didn't know then I don't know now did you did you right away stop doing that I don't know what it is but it seems a little redundant yeah it seems like the behavior of a failure yeah I agree yeah it's like the formula for a college term paper yeah it was a compliment yeah it was a compliment I think but uh hey it was Jerry Lewis I know and uh I now what did Jerry think of your your impression became so famous you know I I in 1990 I was asked to interview Jerry I'd never met him um they were going to release all the um Martin and Lewis um Colgate Hour shows Disney was going to release them Jeff Katzenberg said now can you we want to put on the DVD and throw it at you interviewing Jerry Lewis but if he starts to pontificate get him off that and I thought first of all he hates me I'm sure he hates me because I'd already done you know scenes from An Idiot's Marriage Jerry Lewis and Inmark Bourbon you know I'd done Lewis Sings Dylan the answer my friend is blowing in the wind you know that thing the answer is blowing in the wah and then I were on the all my clothes were pulled off and now I'm in Boxer Under or like a rolling stone you see me running down the street in a big boulder it's changing so I'd done all these pieces and I thought he'd hate me but he didn't he was very friendly hey Marty and he was still young Jerry you know he was still and but later on in the interview he said you did me on the telethon I said no no no no no I didn't do you on the telethon I did you live at the Champs-Élysées it wasn't it was elements that I didn't tell him he went oh that's funny so I don't know if he'd even seen them you know he'd just heard but anyway he was lovely he was great for me yeah I mean getting to meet you and then my day that I've talked about a lot with John Candy when I was still in college were just that's how it felt to me like just getting to no no I think what it is is when you're 12 and when you're 12 whoever is because you're just open to it all and who's ever inspiring you then has more weight I mean I remember like in it's 1986 and I'm now friends with Christopher Guest and Jamie Curtis and they're married maybe it's a couple years later and they have their four year old daughter Annie they're having a birthday party and out of the bedroom walks Tony Curtis who I'd never met and he looks exactly like Tony Curtis and you know way more exciting than it had to have been Tom Cruise or anyone current because when I was 12 in my favorite film was, you know, i'm like hot yeah and uh so those are the moments that when when you're that age i mostly used in the 90s early years of my late night show uh i only wanted to talk to don knots andy griffin tony randall anyone who had been on tv when i was watching it in our house on canard road and eating bologna strips out of a bowl yeah i'd be like that is the person i want to see well i thought don knots was the very underrated genius because talking about character work his character barney fife on that show was so he was so original and so funny he was yeah now kind of swaying and but he was basically an insecure guy and what i loved is he had a patrol car he was a deputy yeah and he had an aerial that went from the front and looped up to the back but there was no radio yeah and he had one bullet that he kept in his pocket yeah one bullet but he was allowed to carry he was allowed to carry one bullet um no his i mean again there is something magic about those people what you did was you took all those people you grew up with including sinatra all these people you idolized and then you could morph into them and then create a demented reality yeah all the characters you created were elements of the people that you love you know so when are you going to do me didn't you just hear what i said this this year is gone no kidding uh do you look back at it all now because you've had this uh just spectacular career do you look back at it and look at that moment in godspell when they could have gone with andrew but they went with marty short do you think you would have found an other way if you hadn't had that no i well i don't know but i certainly i do know that it was very difficult for me to leave the stepping stones of school and um so i'd now done four years of university i was now going to do a master's in social work i'm going to be social work you yeah not an ounce of empathy yeah like this all right don't don't spend it on booze buy food this time you You know so no i but i definitely gave myself a one-year contract to be in show business because my parents weren't living at this point i was 20 and my father just died and i thought you know i had an inheritance but i knew that he wouldn't support me being an actor you know he'd support education so i thought i will do this for a year but if i'm i don't want to be a waiter at 37 so um i will give it a year had i not wanted to be a waiter i would have been worked in that year i definitely would have gone back to school um i didn't want to look in the mirror when i was 21 and say what if like at 50 and say what if you tried to be an actor yeah i wanted to be able to say no you did remember no one hired you oh that's right yeah yeah right right um so i don't know if if if i mean i was just lucky that that show was happening was lucky that i got it and it was such a hit and it was a massive hit i haven't made it but it really comes across in the documentary that you guys hit a gusher oh no we were now all of canada was like these are these are our favorite people in the world and to be able to walk around at that time it was crazy and i think that but had that not happened i i would probably then i would have gone to politics you know run as a member of parliament for hamilton but i would have done as kennedy i say we have to change because i only watched american you know um television through buffalo i never watched television so i didn't know anything about canadian anything really yeah no i whenever i think of if i was somehow through some accident in public life all of my speeches would be kennedy-esque they just would i became i was i was made honorary mayor of pacific palisades oh 20 years ago and i had to give a speech at the town chamber of commerce remember john rate the singer was the former mayor so he was the former mayor of pacific palisades and he was the former mayor of he was there and his daughter bonnie rate was there i did a speech as kennedy completely played to about four people out of the 400 people there and but i wouldn't let up i'd say people say you can't buy an overpriced pair of sneakers i benign bentons let them come to bentons silence except bonnie rate was hysterical yeah in situations like that if there's 400 people and four are really laughing i'm happy i don't know why but i like that just the those four are still over the top also those same stores that existed forever in the back people say you can't buy an overpriced humpty dumpty figurine i can benign four jets let them come to four jets that was the story bombed bad bombed i think gavin mcleod of the love boat was yes he was mary lewis anyone who lived in the palisades you were asked to um be a mayor oh you lived in the palisades for a long time wow i've even asked could i just be an honorary and eugene levy was just a mayor yeah i know he did such a great job oh yeah oh god oh god um i know we're out of time but i have to bring up that one of my favorite things for you and for all of us is that you and steve became a two-hander act uh how many years ago was it you started working together um we were asked to close the just for last comedy festival in 2011 where we were just going to interview each other yeah and it was successful and we had fun because we have fun you know we had dinner before and when and so we booked another and we booked another i already had a show and he had a banjo show at that time which yeah we combined them with and less banjo so good for you it's a mitzvah as my people say um you yeah well banjo is the only instrument that people who play the jug say really but it was the ruling show business that comedians were there were teams and it was just you know abbott gastello martin and lewis you know so laurel and hardy it was just like teams teams teams that went away and then seemingly forever and i'm sure people will remember okay no but there was this person that person you and steve bring it back and it's so first of all you guys clearly love each other you can finish each other's sentences and it's so funny but i also see the way in which you two are having so much fun that that spills out into the oh i think so too he did it one night in vegas and killed he has a name oh conan we um we yeah i just blanked for a while we uh no watching you guys do that i just think it's just so joyous to watch you guys work together and you guys came on together on the podcast which is one of my favorite episodes well no no we do have an absolute riot and steve is you know as funny as it gets he one of his jokes was he said the reason this show works with marty is because he understands the concept of 60 40 so the new i know you're it's early to be saying anything about the new season but i love that you guys are going to be in london oh we work with the greatest actors imaginable yeah i mean olivia coleman martin freeman david tennant it's you know everyone was also everyone i i think what i've noticed is that everybody wants in on that gig because they know that it's going to be a happy about that everyone has said that that it's a fun loose hang i mean steve and selena i all work the same way that we if it's fun and loose on the set then you want to be there and in the holding area there's jokes and laughs and and but it does permeate the set and your camera men and women are happy to be there because they're laughing all day and that's and they're your audience so that's it's hard for me to imagine anyone who's i can't think of another name of someone who's brought me as much joy as you have seriously you really have and i marvel you've got many many years on me at least 40 years older than me yeah i believe you're 50 years older than me yeah no i'm 53 years older 53 years older than me although you look like you've been carried out of shangri-la um don't wrap it up i don't want it to end i know no one wants it to end but he's got to go home and microwave a meal and watch old clips of himself uh you can't eat into that time um no i don't i don't know on every single level and also you are a model of how to be you are very kind to people and completely intolerant of rudeness uh and that is true and you're just uh this gift that keeps on giving so i love you to that I love you and by the way we are would you not see say very close friends in real life we are yes we are friends we're very i'm very close yeah i mean he he won't pick up a check at a restaurant i don't know how this will turn out yeah i'm in radio now you know i understand you're on this you're in a big hit show you go to am next don't you what do you go from here there's no level i won't sink to all right go uh go in peace to love and serve the lord marty short god bless you and god bless you all yay conan o'brien needs a friend with conan o'brien sonam of sessian and matt gorley produced by me matt gorley executive produced by adam sacks jeff ross and nick leo theme song by the white stripes incidental music by jimmy vivino take it away jimmy our supervising producer is aaron blair and our associate talent producer is jennifer samples engineering and mixing by eduardo perez and brendan burns additional production support by mars melnick talent booking by paula davis gina batista and brick con you can rate and review this show on apple podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode got a question for conan call the team coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message it too could be featured on a future episode you can also get three free months of sirius xm when you sign up at siriusxm.com slash conan and if you haven't 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