Market Report: Martha's Costume, Anthropic IPO, and Timbaland's Lawsuit

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What's up, sippers? Happy Tuesday, and welcome back to The Market Report, where I, Mrs. Dow Jones, share the three stories happening right now in pop culture and finance that you absolutely need to know. And by the time you listen to this, I will have voted in the midterm elections. Yes, I'm going to take Mystery 6 a.m. tomorrow, right when they open, and. Get my ass to the polls. And I hope that you will have too, because remember, the economy is on the bow this year. It is the biggest issue, and as future rich people, we have got to get people into office who care about our wallets and not just theirs. So get your tush to the polls, baby. It's a very cute tush. Anyways, I feel, honestly, particularly fresh today. I feel chipper. I slept 12 hours yesterday after spending all weekend in the Hamptons. I was with 10 of my friends, and by fresh, I do mean that I'm finally upright, because I tried to hang this weekend. I tried to be a cool girl. I tried to drink. I was playing beer pong. I was playing, like, musical chairs. I mean, we were doing so many different drinking games. It was crazy. And truly, I got the spins. Like, I don't think I've had the spins since high school. My tolerance has definitely dropped. I feel like it's dropped faster than the purchasing power of the dollar. Yes, that's a finance joke. Truly, I used to be the girl who could, like, dominate those games. And now I'm the girl who's, like, on the. Now I'm the girl sitting by the pool on a chair being like, oh, my God, the moon is spinning. Hold the moon still. But, you know, it was such a nice weekend. And between the hangovers, we went on a beach walk in East Hampton. It was very wholesome. And it's just interesting in East Hampton, because a simple stroll with your friends on the beach can just put you face-to-face with a $165 million house. No, literally, that is what happened. I walked past Calvin Klein's former seat. And that is what it's on the market for, sippers. Like, if someone actually buys that house, it'll be the most expensive house ever sold in the Hamptons. The current record is $147 million. But not only is the house so freaking expensive, the gossip on the house is also so good. Like, I sort of want to buy it just for that. So before the Kleins owned it, Calvin Klein and his wife, it belonged to the founder of Pan Am, that airline, who reportedly commuted there by seaplane. How fun is that? And then Calvin and Kelly Klein bought it. And after their divorce, Kelly kept living there. And when Calvin finally sold it in 2021, her initials were still on the gate. And by the way, he sold it in 2021 for $85 million. And now it's five years later. There was one renovation done, and it is listed at almost double. So that's nuts. And by the way, it's not the, the only house going for the record because down the road, a house that once belonged to Jackie O's sister sold for $72 million in March. And then five months later, it was relisted for $162 million. So we've got two houses, one beach, one record. And you know, who blinks first? I'm on the edge of my seat. And by the way, if you're wondering what I wore for Halloween, like my close personal friend, Martha Stewart, I dressed up as, economic anxiety. Except of course, my joke landed and Martha's did not. She's all over the papers. I was inflation because of course, Halloween is supposed to be scary. And I just think nothing is scarier right now than the price of gas. So I really leaned in there. But you know, Martha took it way too far. She went ahead and was homeless. Yes. Martha Stewart is getting dragged. I'm not like laughing with her. I'm laughing at her because she posted a picture of herself with Duran. On her face, holding a sign that said I am hungry. Help me. And then she used that post to promote her QVC candles. So it's like you're swiping right for food insecurity. And then you swipe again for a candle available now. And look, not to make this about me, but I just feel like one of us clearly understood the assignment and the other did not because like, here's the thing, babe. And Martha, I'd say to your face, if you want to dress as the scariest thing in the economy, you should never dress as the people struggling. Like you dress as a thing making them struggle. And of course, Martha said it was meant to bring more awareness to homelessness, but I just feel like the only thing that post bought awareness to was the candles and how out of touch she is because you can't punch down. Like punching down is just such a bad look. Watching a multimillionaire where someone's absolute worst day as their costume. I mean, how could that not leave a bad taste in your mouth? And look, I'm all for economic Halloween costumes. I mean, last year I was the, AI bubble, also amazing. But the rule is simple. You dress as the problem, not as the people living through it. Because being broke isn't a character flaw. Like more than ever, it's just a math problem that someone else wrote. More than ever, it's just a math problem that someone else wrote. I mean, wages that don't keep up, rent that just does whatever it wants to do. We got fees on top of fees. So, you know, be inflation, be the overdraft fees, be the student loan interest, just don't be the person the system already failed, especially when you in real life are someone who is someone that the system has really benefited, except for, you know, of course, when she went to prison. But OK, let's get into our story, shall we? Because we've got some good ones. So first things first, I want to talk about Anthropic, the company behind Claude, because they just filed to go public. And this could go down as one of the biggest IPOs in history. I'm seeing reports that say it could be valued at up to two trillion dollars, yes, that's trillion with a T, which is a word I don't want to keep using, but like just keeps coming up. And look, my advice here is do not buy it on day one. And this isn't because Anthropic is necessarily a bad company. It's really just because of math. And, you know, math, unlike me at Beer Pong, doesn't get the spins. So Anthropic, though, let's go back. The company is growing like crazy. It's growing like a weed. Revenue is up over one thousand percent from last year. But it's also spending like crazy, like they have promised close to a trillion dollars on computing power. That's not a budget, you guys. That's like me during the Sephora sale. But the lipsticks are just all data centers. And by the way, the growth is starting to slow down. Plus, when you actually read it, there are more than 90 pages of risk factors, including an active legal fight with the Pentagon. 90 pages. Like my lease isn't even that long. I think more than anything. I'm not into this is because it is an IPO. And I say no to IPOs because I really think that IPOs are like parties that we as retail investors are not invited to. You know, the bank set the price the night before and then most of the shares go to their big clients. Those are the VIPs who, you know, get in early and they drink the free champagne and then they get to leave before it gets messy. But regular people like me and you, we mostly get in early and we get to leave before it gets messy. We're just sort of like arriving at a party at 1am when the bar is just, you know, out of ice and the drinks cost triple and the people who got there earlier leaving, like you're not getting in on the ground floor. You're getting in basically on the rooftop. And I feel like for most companies, the elevator only goes down. Like there's a professor at the University of Florida, James J. Rittler, who has tracked basically every IPO in the U.S. for decades. And he's like, he's basically the gossip girl of IPOs. And what he found is that the typical IPO loses value in the three years after it starts trading. So like, yes, there are a few who become the huge winners, but those winners make the overall numbers look way better than what happens to most people. Like it's sort of like my net worth. Like if I stand next to Calvin Klein, our average is incredible. But like mine alone, it's not like that. It's not as big as that. And let's not forget that we watch this show every day. We watch it every day. We watch this movie before. Like SpaceX went public in June at $135 a share. On the first day, it shot up. Everyone lost their minds. A few days later, it was at about $225 a share. But then by Friday, it closed below $135. So if you had bought the hype, you're down. And if you did nothing, congrats, because you won by doing nothing. So look, if Anthropic really is a trillion dollar idea, I would give it six months. So you got to see real earnings reports. You, you know, get to watch the hype sort of settle down. And then you can decide if you want to invest with actual receipts. And look, you might miss some upside, but at least you're not paying a price that's just set by vibes and like this AI excitement. I just really believe you can absolutely love the company and skip the IPO. Both can be true. And yes, this might be boring, sure. But I think the boring is the point. Like boring is how future rich people get rich. I always say you want your life not to be average, your relationships not to be average, your wardrobe not to be average, but give me average returns any day, baby. Story number two is about healthcare and how it's eating your damn raise and also Ozempic. Stay with me. So obviously everyone is talking about Ozempic, who's on it, who's denying it, who just like got really into Pilates and is getting their 10,000 steps in, wink, wink. But I feel like nobody is talking about what it's doing to your paycheck because your paycheck is getting Ozempic too. Wages are going up about 3.7%. A year, but employer healthcare costs are going up seven to 9%. That is the fastest in almost 20 years. So now a big chunk of your raise, if you got one is going to go to insurance premiums before it even ever reaches your bank account. Your raise isn't missing. It's just like ghosting you. And GLP-1s like Ozempic and WeGoVee and Zepbound are a big reason why, because they add about a full percentage point to employer healthcare costs. Growth. And everyone on the plan shares that cost, whether you take them or not. So if you're at a company where a ton of people are on GLP-1s, you're going to share in their costs. And if you buy your own insurance on the ACA marketplace, it's even worse because the expanded subsidies have expired. And for a lot of people, what they actually pay has doubled, which is insane. But I will say it's open enrollment, which should give you some hope. I want you to take your benefits on a money date. I think now than ever, you really need to take your benefits on a money date. You really need to be aware of your healthcare plan because it's becoming so expensive. So one, add up the whole year. Don't just pick the cheapest paycheck deduction. Add 12 months of premiums and the deductible and the out-of-pocket max, because the pricier plan can sometimes end up cheaper. And then number two, I want you to check your coverage, baby. Please do. Make sure your doctors, your therapists, your prescriptions, that they're all in network for next year. It's annoying. You might have to say goodbye to some good doctors, but that's just the cost of getting healthcare in America. And then three, use an HSA if you can. With a qualifying high deductible plan, an HSA is a triple tax advantage to count. The money goes in tax-free, it grows tax-free, and it comes out tax-free. And you can use it for medical costs. But these accounts are amazing because you can actually invest them and it can grow like a second retirement account. So if you have an HSA, please max it out and invest it and don't spend it on your healthcare costs because that is going to really set you up for a better future. For having some tax-free money in retirement. But yeah, healthcare is shrinking your paycheck, but open enrollment is how you take that money back. So let's do it. So story number three, I just want to bring it back to middle school. Timbaland, the super producer, he's behind Missy Elliott, Aaliyah, Justin Timberlake, you know, basically the soundtrack of every middle school dance besides the thong song. I mean, he was all I was listening to. And Tim is suing his former manager and his former business manager for young people. And Tim is suing his former manager and his former business manager for young up 15 million big ones. And the claims that he has are U-G-L-Y, ugly. He says his manager took millions in commissions and fees he wasn't owed on each of two $5 million payments and that he falsified records to hide it. Falsifying records, like, that's a no-no. And by the way, his business manager was shady as hell. They stopped paying his mortgage and his federal taxes. And so he has millions in penalties and interest. And he says that he found out about all this from a foreclosure notice on his own house. And look, I want to get both sides. So I will say his former manager says Timbaland was already struggling financially when they started working together and that they made $75 million in business and that Timbaland, you know, was spending beyond his needs and that Timbaland was spending beyond his means and that, you know, money was never his job anyways. So it's all allegations now and a court is going to sort it out. But to me, this just sounds so familiar because this literally happened to Rihanna, you guys. Back in 2012, Rihanna sued her accountants because she said that by the end of 2009, she was, quote unquote, effectively bankrupt. And by the way, this was the year that she went from $11 million in cash to $2 million in a matter of months because they were charging her huge commissions on her tours. And the math is wild with Rihanna's case because according to her lawsuit, her accountants earned 23% of her tour income. Rihanna, making less than her accountants and getting out on that stage every night for her own tour. She also said that they told her to buy a $7 million house as a quote unquote investment while she was losing money and that they mishandled her taxes. She sold the house at a $2 million loss and then got audited by the IRS. In 2014, they settled out of court, but this is why they wrote Bitch Better Have My Money because she was like, where the fuck is my money? So here we have two superstars, two different decades, and they're going to be in court for the rest of their lives. But it's the same plot where they trusted someone blindly to handle their money and they got busy paying themselves and no one was actually checking what was happening under the hood. So I just think the lesson here doesn't even need a verdict. We don't need a judge. You can outsource managing your money. That's fine. You can get help, but you can never outsource checking it. And this goes for no matter where you're at in your income level, you need a money date once a month, put it on a calendar. Like it's a date with someone. You're not going to be able to get it done. You're not I know that it probably sounds horrible to sit down with your money, but it takes like 20, 30 minutes. You can use AI, light a candle, pour yourself a glass of the good vino, open every statement. I want you to look at your bank and your cards and your mortgage and your taxes and like whoever touches your money, look at what they did. Because trust me, if Rihanna and Timbaland can get blindsided, you can too. And it's like, this can happen with subscriptions you forgot and like packages you forgot to return. Like, you need to have an eye on your bottom line. It's just a non-negotiable. So yes, love you guys so much. Don't forget to rate, review and subscribe. I'm really excited for how the market report is doing. You guys are loving it. Let me know if you want more pop culture stories. You want more Wall Street stories. We can definitely customize the mix, but absolutely. J'adore you. Hope you are staying rich. And I will see you Thursday for an episode with Dr. Idris. She is the viral dermatologist. She's going to teach us how to correctly, spend our money on our skincare, which is such a hard thing. So I feel like every day I open up and there's like a new something that I need to buy. So she's going to really point us in the right direction. And yeah, love you zippers. Stay rich. Yeah.