Mark's One Man Show (Part 2)

- For decades, a shadowy organization called The Lemonati has kept lemon on top and lime in the shadows. Look around, lemon-forward sodas, even lemon-forward songs. We ran the tracks, slowed them down, reversed them, and squeezed out the truth. ♪ All hail the lemon ♪ - That's lemon propaganda right there. But now, 7UP is fighting back with their new lime-lemon soda. Join the 7 uprising. Flip the sip. - Kelly Clarkson here with Wayfair. I know holiday magic starts at home, and Wayfair makes it easy. They have everything from Christmas trees and mantel decor to outdoor lighting and inflatables that I'll use year after year. Head to wayfair.com today. ♪ Wayfair, every style, every home ♪ - Tammy regularly hauls stuff to her kids at college. That's why she shops at BJ's Wholesale Club, saving up to 25% off grocery store prices. Beef jerky, microwave meals, laundry pods, even they can't screw up. - Have you eaten? - No, I haven't. - Have you eaten? - No, I haven't. - Have you met my kids? - And with BJ's gas, she gets there for less. - They call me the road warrior. - This is your home, road warrior mom. Home of the save. Join for just $20 at bjs.com/mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months. Open soon. Limited time offer, new members only. BJ's, home of the save. - Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractable. This episode, belittling Bob cleans his micro pond while whacked Wade prowls Carl and Hurts from playing with his balls. Then they double-teamed a ban. Multi-talented Mark salaciously slays spires, notes nerfs, moose mice, power paints like Picasso, and talks backwards like a titan. From facing foils to Wade's terrible translations. Yes, it's time for Mark's one-man show, part two. Now, sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. - Hello. - Bob, you come in. - Oh, okay, yeah. Hey, and welcome back to another episode of Distractable. I'm your co-host for today's episode. - And I'm your co-host for today's episode. - If you missed the last one, you should go back and watch because it was a real ripper. And it ended with Mark getting the winner's wheel and landing. - Mark's least favorite kind of light, moonlight. - Oh, God, not moonlight. - Man, this whole Artemis thing was happening and I just had to turn off my TV, unplug my cable. Internet houses, like, I can't deal with this moon nonsense. - Oh yeah, and Mark's the competitor. We usually, introducing us feels so stilted now. Like, I get that there might be people listening to this who have, like, they're probably new listeners, blah, blah, blah, but there's like over 400 of these things. If you want an introduction that makes sense, go watch one of the early ones. We really had a whole script as a whole thing. Anymore? What's the point? You know? - Great question. - Especially today. Usually there's one judge and there's two guys and they're competing out the window. Today is Mark's one-man show. It's all about Mark. - It's, yay, yippee, so ready. - It's going to be a celebration of things that Mark enjoys and that Mark is very good at. - See, I know both of you, when you're judging, you put your thumb on the scale because you're like, it's a little too close to a tie here. Let me just, nah, nah, me, I face it down, I face it down. - I've had a number of winner wheel spins lately. What do you mean? - That's true, that's true. But for my story, I'm going to keep saying this. - Oh no, craft the narrative. Yeah, sorry, sorry, craft the narrative. - Yeah, 'cause there's no other people here, so I could lose as many points as I want. So I'm free for the first time in our entire podcast history. - Yeah, you've never been a cruel dictator before or anything. - Never, ever. - I don't recall that happening in explicit detail. - Never. - Wait, we were going to still do small talk, right? Since we only do these so rarely now. - The podcast episodes, yeah. - I feel like we have to do small talk, otherwise no one's going to understand what's going on in our very busy and exciting lives. - I agree, and we have so much to talk about that we didn't want to skip a week, 'cause then it's like, well, it'll be gone by next week and we'll never remember it happened. - I just took a trip to Cincinnati. That was fun, just to visit. - Our Cincinnati, or? - Yeah. - We're all hanging out. - Oh, who's we? - We, you, me? That other guy? - You, me, and Molly's husband? - Hmm, that other guy. Not a good start, not a good start. - Yeah. - James, is that you? - What do you think, he got it? - It's a good city, it looks really nice, smells great, tastes wonderful, there's really no comparison, no comparison to the Cincy, as they call it in the Cincy. - The Cincy, that's true, that's catching on. - Copyrighted phrase. - You owe Mr. Cincinnati $5. - Is that like the red guy with the baseball head? - No, that's Mr. Redlegs. - Oh, Gary. - Mr. Cincinnati is our glorious founder and leader, and he's the one who invented the catchphrase, the Cincy. - But he also has a baseball fur head, but that's a coincidence. - Coincidence. - Pure coincidence. - A tragic childhood accident, not a fun baseball mascot. Don't get 'em mixed up. - But other than that, you know, besides the things that you guys, uh, uh, talked about, it's been nothing but Slay the Spire 2. That has been my life. It's been so nice. Everybody already knows this because Slay the Spire 2 was like the number one, most played games. It's apparently running on, I just opened Steam. It's running on my computer. - It's playing right now. Are you accidentally playing it somewhere? - Oh, I think it might be open on my laptop or something like that. It's very, very fun. I'm not gonna make any videos about it 'cause I don't need it, but it's just like, it's just so stupendously good. So simple, but complex, it's, it's really, really nice. However, there are some, this happens with games like this, whenever there's an update and they're like, we're nerfing this and we're gonna balance this, you know, gamers just go like, - Boo! Low review. - What'd they nerf? Tell me. - I don't know. They've nerfed a bunch of things because what they don't want is for builds to easily just go into infinity. And I mean, I know it's possible. - I've never done it. I've never done it, but it's like, you know, some people, instead of playing for, you know, fun and a casual thing, you know, some people need like, I gotta be the most powerful ever in the history forever. My dad, when he was working on doing layouts of computer books for yada yada, for Wiley or whatever, Wiley and Coyote books company. - Acme? - Yeah. He would take a break by playing this game called Mice Men. And let me tell you, there's no progression. There's no roguelite. Like, light, or anything of the type. It's just, you have mice on this side, you pull them up and down and they walk. And if they jump on the, step on the other one's head, kill that mouse. And then you win by getting the most people to the other side. And it's, it's, he, it never changed. Didn't get it. Well, I guess it didn't get patches, but you know, he played that and he was happy. He had to go uphill with those mice both ways. These ungratefuls, you know. Spoiled. Spoiled as well. That's what I say. - I was expecting the mice soapbox today, but I didn't expect it to be so good. - Ah, man. I, I just Googled the Mice Men game and wow. My memory was perfect because I used to watch my dad play that all the time. And just the way the mice turn and look at you when they're like, we're trusting you with our lives here. It's a DOS game. I forget. I don't even know when, when was it first made? - Oh, wait, I know this. - Yeah. This, this is like unlocking a memory. Oh, 95. Okay. - I also played this. I did not understand it because I was a child, but I was like, wow, look at that. They walk around. - Yup. No, I could not win at this. - Don't they eat cheese? Wow. - I'm going to find the IP for this. I'm going to make the Mice Men movie, make a billion dollars. - That'll show us all. - Yeah. - But all of the mice are just Mark standing there and they look over at you at the same time. - Six years from now, there's going to be an interview with Mark and it's going to cut back to the clip from this part. I was like, I'm going to find the IP for this and come back to Mark in real life. Like, well, what can I say? I have vision. - Everyone thought I was joking. - I used more cheese than any director before me. - The most fake cheese on a set in history. - Mark in the hospital with a yellow, orange eyes. I had a cheese accident. - I don't know how. But it'll all be filmed in the NACMO. - These are funny. See, that was good. Yeah, Wade, you just need to warm up with those few bad jokes. Not that you've ever told a bad joke in your life, but. - No, that's all I needed. Thankfully, no one saw. Unless they did. I don't remember. - Anyway, that's the news. If I had news, I said news. It's also, people don't care, but I'll say it anyway. A lot of NAB news came out just today when we're recording it, and it's the most exciting day in, like, video-related tech you could possibly imagine, and I'm stuck here doing my stupid one-man show instead of reading all the delicious, delightful news. - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. - Well, we all love the national ass butts. - I don't know what it stands for. - What? - You got it. That's it, man. Uh, yeah, I thought I thought he was wrong. I was gonna throw my answer out there, but he got it first try the new amazing Nothing came to mind you could say butts again youth butts. No. No, I was trying to do a real techie What's a techie? Where's the b? Backlog yeah backlog. That's it. You guys have got me though where i've been playing slay the spire too and Dude, I have been plowing car. Oh, that sounds weird out that way Dude, you just been giving it to carl. Whoa, i've just been giving it to carl. Oh my god I'm, like half three quarters of the way through bedlam bride. Now. I'm just i'm tearing through gets crazy, huh? I feel like I say that every time you give us a car dungeon crawler update Yeah, like you guys even though with you guys telling me this i'm like, okay They're saying that but like it has to have some chill. There's gonna be some amount of chill Are you out of the first phase yet? Are you into the second phase? I just got to Officially says part two. I think dude it gets so So much crazier you have no idea part one was crazy. How could it get more crazy? You have no idea. Oh You have no idea. I don't every time I think I do the wrenches they come flying It's like patches from dodgeballs throwing wrenches at me non-stop and I can't dodge them. They're all it. I know right Oh, I have been battling our pool We have a pool in the backyard. I like the way you say that tool I have been trying to get it balanced so that it's not toxic And I think the last people who lived here didn't take very good care of it is what I've been running up against because I Thought I think I but I did research and I thought about doing it Right, and it just every time I do something it like makes it worse, but I think I'm on I think I'm on the right track I thought was right. I think I had too many dissolved solids I'm racing to get the pool open because every day I'm out there like pouring crap in the pool And cleaning it and James is just looking out the window like oh When did we get to pool dad's playing with the pool? I want a pool. Why do you have to rush? What kind of time windows does chemical reaction have is it like organic chemistry class where it's like you really need to precisely I mean everything you do is kind of like see what happens see where it's at the next day, right? So I'm like I'm doing research and like okay This is the problem can't get any free chlorine means there's still too much stuff in the water. All right to shock it again Put the shock in leave it overnight come back the next day now. It's cloudy Oh, why would that have made it cloudy do a little research for and it's like all right Well, the pH is too low. Maybe I need to raise the pH and then try again. I don't know man I don't know about pools. It's a whole thing I don't know shit about chemistry But yeah I'm just standing out there like scooping gunk out of our pool and trying to get it working and James is standing in the window Just like I Don't go to the pool so bad. Oh God, I know man. I know I'm working on it. I didn't pull but I played basketball for an hour and a half yesterday and I can barely move today That's impressive. Maybe oh I was filming for cloak and I barely did anything. This is how out of shape I am So I understand the feeling here where all I'm doing is holding a camera around with a tripod and I'm like getting in some Angles and I'm not even doing a lot. We're just like they're in one place, you know, just needed to move things around I was so sore in my hips like my outer hips Hip muscles just hurt like err ache I've never had an ache there before but I forget how physical it is when you're just trying to lug a camera around Do you have like a dolly for the tripod or do you have to pick it up? Wiggle it I pick it up. Yeah, even if you imagine it's quite a heavy serious tripod because you don't fuck around with cheap equipment anymore No, I don't I don't but still I could if I thought about it a little bit They make a tripod wheel base where you can wheel it around and click it locked And I don't have that and there's a lot of things that I could do. So just in my old age I in a be releases are happening right now. What if they have the new super tripod deluxe? They have an AI powered wheel base You just say what you want to film and it moves to where it thinks you want it to be and then you actually move It to where it's supposed to be I'm thinking about filming from like the 1/3 on this one, but what about the 1/6? I think that's a great idea mark. Let's talk about ideas as we make this happen Thanks tripod the what you know, this guy thinks he's a filmmaker. He doesn't know about the 1/3 and the 1/6 Oh, yeah, I guess so much to learn. Don't you do the 2/8? This is all the fractions. Yeah to wait You know, we don't want for the 2/8. I know you could you could technically simplify but it's eight boxes So you still have to say the two it's a lot of fractions in movies mark You gotta catch up. My dad was filming under the car and he was like I said one third not one six Oh Good times classic That being said do you think it's time Bob time for the one-man show to begin? One man show time you guys are like full frame in your cameras and I'm always like way down here And I look so tiny you can aim it. No, you can't there's nothing you can do about it Waits cameras built into the wall. It doesn't aim I forgot you know, the one thing I never thought about I was like No, it's it's really mounted on the desk I could move the monitor back and then I have more space to tilt it down. Yeah, don't you have giant monitors? They're very big if I'm thinking about it correctly. I'm pretty sure all of that stuff moves. We're a very not mobile household here Maybe oh Maybe I shouldn't do it right now. Yeah, I don't know if right now it's the time to get it. Don't do it right now I forgot that all three of my monitors are now on one stand and they're very big and heavy in a slight movement How are they on one? Stand I found some custom third-party stand that's not meant to hold monitors this big but I made it work Sketch The way you protect your investments is hilarious to me You know if you bought like the most expensive monitors in the known universe and then bought a $12 Amazon special stand to put them On what do we know? It was it was a very expensive Third party state, but it was further. Why do you buy an expensive thing for the wrong purpose? I didn't understand When I bought it I didn't know size mattered the stands. I don't understand you. I thought it was a one-size-fit-all kind of thing The Illuminati has spent decades keeping lemon on top and lime in the shadows Their lemon agenda has infiltrated everything even our music that hits on named after the color of lemons Not a coincidence Big lemon has been pulling strings in the industry for years Think about it But now seven up is fighting back with their new lime lemon soda now lime comes first seven up flip the sip All right, mark, yes, we're gonna need you to open Microsoft paint Alright, and you're gonna be sharing your screen But you get it all configured how you want to be doing it the first game for today? show we have played before but you have always been on the Delivering end and Wade and I have been on the receiving end and we thought we had so much fun with that That we wanted you to do it That sounds good. I'm on that Great. I like your so your your description about of what happened at the red carpet. The Oscars was so iconic You're clearly much more talented at this drawing an MS paint than we are type stuff Well, should I do the calligraphy? Brush or should I do the natural pencil? Oh, you could do however you so choose but oh, that's pretty But I don't know if that's gonna work, right? I do want you to set it up correctly You're gonna want a double tall canvas as if you needed room to do one Painting and then beneath it another painting all on one big canvas Wait, do you remember the order that we had discussed for these? I know my order. Do you know your work? Does our order matter comrade? I think I know my order Yeah, I've got I've got the order situated properly on my end I believe or if not, then it's the order I'm deciding to do now. I'm gonna flip a coin Heads is tails. Nope. No Just tails tails I win. All right, here we go Hedges Wade tails as me It's a lady. We got the heads Okay, so Wade is gonna go first and what's about to happen is that Wade and I are both about to send you an image No, no, no, no, no, no. No, we're not. Oh, no, that's the other thing. We're about to not send you shit. Yeah, don't do that We're about to describe it to you an image and you're gonna draw it we're gonna send you an image you draw it Oh God, yeah functioning I'm a full blast here That's all I got and Wade gets to go first and Wade has 30 seconds to work with you on this image And then I'm gonna have a timer the timer is gonna go off and it's gonna be my turn We're gonna switch to working on my image and we're gonna go back and forth You get a total of four minutes, but it's in 30 second chunks working with Wade than me then Wade than me each of us Does four mini sessions? The goal is to end up with two pictures that look exactly like what wade and i have pulled up on our screens in front of us oh i know it'll be that way i'm sure it will i know it will you're a great drawer i believe in you and wade i guess whenever you're ready i'll just hit my timer and you just and mark i assume you're ready yeah i'm ready always whatever uh just tell me when to go bob just start just go all right so mark quick overview we're gonna have santa standing in front of a white bed sheet background like he was filming a threatening video or something but the background is kind of like a wrinkly white bed sheet wrinkly white bed sheet what uh santa's mouth you can't see because of his beard he looks very surprised facing the camera well okay okay hold on uh he's wearing minion goggles white on and his coat is open exposing a white t-shirt underneath okay hold on wait hold on sail wait okay what the background white bed sheet wrinkly santa facing the camera yeah i got that how do i draw it's already white booty booty booty bob's turn all right mark we have a race horse running from right to left it's a grass uh like track and there's green hedges in the background and there's a white fence behind the horse the horse does have some details to it but yeah it's like a brown horse running from right to left kind of in the yeah yep just like that yep that's what horses look like uh-huh that's kind of what horses look like hold on wait for it no that felt that felt mean but like that is that's pretty that's better than i could do for a horse i do have to give that to you that and it does have a saddle it has like socks has like white socks on its legs but then the rest of it's brown white white white okay done oh it's a good time okay continue all right to santa santa uh minion goggles thick minion goggles he looks very surprised believe it or not he's not all beard there is a face tucked in where the eyes are the minion goggles are black uh fucking santa jacket open expose him the white t-shirt underneath the white t-shirt perfect great this is a big belt and now it's gold it's gotta be gold all right oh bob's certain all right we have a brown horse we got a brown horse white socks on its legs that come like that you know they come up that for the first part i don't know his shins whatever and the rest of the horse is brown and it has a saddle that's a little black seat on a primarily white sadly bit a little black seat on a primarily white sadly bit yeah so that's yeah yeah yeah i like that i love that that's good primarily white sadly bit it's primarily white there's just like a little black seat on the top and time okay all right mark you need to fill in the fill in the hat the little white ball is definitely there at the end of santa's hat so put that in yep it is it's there man all right his arms are to his side they're drooping down all right drooping down you can see a little bit of red under the little you know the the vesty part of santa's thingy there's a little bit of red on the right side a little red on the right side what what the his nostrils are a little puffed out a little bit uh yeah perfect you can't see his mouth all beard bigger beard all beard yep okay hold on all right back to the horse oh fuck i really want to work on the background here we got green grass we got a white fence behind the horse and then we got green hedges it's a lot of green it's very green i would love yeah yeah green grass green grass i love that i love where the horse is at so i think this is a good thing to spend some time on here green hedges and the hedges go all the way to the top of the frame they're very tall hedges okay all right i see oh you even got the gap i was gonna say there's a gap around the horse's head in the in the hedges perfect oh yeah there is on purpose and then the only thing you're missing is there's a white fence it's like not right now there's not time's up all right okay well let's get a bigger beard for santa and uh fill in that jacket a little bit uh it's huge what do you mean how could it be bigger her perfect we need a bigger beard it hangs down over his chest i'm working on it great all right awesome there it is asking you shall receive now cover that belt up with more white there's no belt no belt cuts off his belly button is he has a belly button out is his belly button out no no his shirt's covering his belly but yes it's hidden under the shirt you can barely see it is he bare chested it's a white shirt all right i gotta build this shirt i gotta build this guy layer by layer man he's gonna white shirt red jacket beard face wait all right just uh no no oh is that supposed to be santa because i man how many fingers is this ai santa medley medley medley my turn back to the horse the horse is great white fence right white fence yep it's like a third of the way down from the top is like the the horizontal part of the fence and then it has like every 10 feet there's a stick so not a lot of sticks you know just uh okay yeah yeah yep white fence all right i would say the only the only note i have is the horse is brown it's all brown and then he has like a black nose so if you want to fill in the horse a little bit oh that's so good bad the white socks good catch good catch yeah yeah yeah beatily diddly back to me this is the final round you got to really polish up the details on santa we gotta we gotta really tone up those eyes and nostrils a little bit santa's gotten hit by the cloud of smoke uh-huh i i mean he's got that's a beard what do you mean a lot of smoke oh whatever it is yeah just i want to make sure i see those those little nostrils the nostrils yep all right honestly no notes that's pretty good that's pretty much him uh put a little white ball at the end of his hat you're you can have it on the right side oh yeah no i got you sorry see that all right uh i'm just gonna stop there i'll send you the picture wade's done wade's satisfied with this you're you're yielding the remainder of your time doesn't matter it's up back to the horse it's looking great it does have a black like nose mouth area yep you're already on that uh-huh the socks are good look at this cocky smile on him look i thought i was gonna leave this out but he has like black shin guards on his front legs so he does have like the black shin guards like that they're just like the front part yeah perfect oh my god on the back ones no just on the front ones just on the front one okay gotcha um and i guess his feet like his hooves are brown below his socks still i would just just we're just in the details now really here time's up oh i love it mark all right here's the images mark so you could share them there's mine okay all right can't wait for this i started off with a simple of his images if i could i want you to know that why didn't you tell me to start with a gray background it's a white sheet it's just dark oh aspect ratio oh santa it's the same picture i mean the nose actually i gotta be completely honest wade this is substantially your fault the bit here is to laugh at mark struggling but man every time it was your turn you started describing stuff i was immediately like why is that what you're telling him more white i don't know it just felt right it felt right ultimately ended up pretty good minus the arms just wait till you see the comparison with them one i was working on you're gonna i'm gonna wait let me get to the toilet first oh man everybody listening and watching it's mostly watching probably actually if we're honest watch out oh that's actually really good it's fantastic wow you know what you're killing it he actually even nailed the left leg perfectly i know when he started drawing the horse i was like oh how do i describe the position and then he like he was doing it and i was like i don't have to describe anything mark knows what horses look like i guess i wish he knew what santa looked like by default that would help me this is a horse i've never seen you know i couldn't possibly imagine what that could be i i think i did pretty damn good here that's i think that's fantastic i think you mine is the winner which means i get a point i'm not writing it down but you can mark and i get a point who's competing i don't even know i mean it doesn't matter you did a great job mark you killed that one thanks hank thank you thank you plus your horse looks so happy your santa looks like he fell off a roof it looks like he's laying in a snow pile on the ground below the roof he just fell off of it he's just like i hope tim allen shows up soon so i could die to be honest though my santa looks like he's been kidnapped and is filming a video begging for his release that's that's true yeah both of these have their merits yes it's true excellent work excellent work that was clearly a gray background it's clearly gray yeah it's it's very clearly gray i gotta give that to you mark given that it's directly next to a bunch of white look i didn't go to art school i didn't learn all these fancy colors okay it's wrinkly white i only know the three primary colors black gray and well wait no you don't know gray nah i fucked the whole thing up yeah see you don't even know the primary colors no no the two primary colors black and white all right new palette i think that was a lot of time i think mark was very comfortable oh boy i think we could uh i think we could take five seconds off and do 25 second timers don you want to go first this time oh that yes absolutely hold on i'm gonna work in negative space here oh that's gonna be good for this one it's happening so just bear with it you get reset however you so choose i i'm not going to judge your your process i just feel like starting from you know not white might help wade a little bit a lot of artists start with a sort of a solid background color often a dark color something to really work off of to create count you know gives you something to contrast with oh bob i just looked at my last images this is gonna suck no it'll be good all right wait as soon as i start click the timer we're gonna do 25 seconds yeah ready to go because that was just too much time i think the wade's problem was that he felt like he had a lot of time and he was screwing around too much right right yeah uh so anyway mark are you ready yes okay here we go i'm going to give you an overview first it is a picture of two people sitting on a bench with their two bicycles parked to the left of them the green grass is underneath the bench on like the bottom fifth of the screen and then it's blue sky up above okay wait and it's a kind of cloudy day so green grass yeah yeah and then there's a bench with two people and they're facing away sitting on it hold up blue sky yep and there's a bench bench with two people sitting on it no time's up oh okay okay all right mark there's a railroad that take that hits the side the middle sides of the screen like it starts at the top middle real small it expands toward us the railroad's coming toward us okay all right this is perfect is it white or black the rails are like a really dark gray and there's a green grass and then there's a bench with two people sitting on it so i'm like real dark wood uh a little bit bigger but that's fine we'll make it work on the middle of the track there's a puppy facing to the left side my turn again all right the bench is on the right third it's centered on the right third uh so there's and it's like a wood bench yeah you're perfect dead on it's like a wood bench okay two people are sitting on it two people sitting on it look they're looking away from us at some beautiful vista or something looking away for oh i see from behind yeah we're we're standing behind them this is like uh this is like a yeah yeah yeah perfect okay all right so mark the railroad tracks between each of the track things is gravel it's like rocky gravel like light colored rocks in between all of them okay i see we're going for the same color palette again a little bit of grass growing but not much just of the sparse grass sparse grass got it golden retriever puppy with a black collar looking wet like a wet dog facing the left in the no close to the middle close close to the front of the track this is not a golden this is grass sparse grass yeah i figured i was hoping so okay golden what do we got golden retriever puppy wet golden retriever puppy sitting there looking to the left looking to the left okay got it and there's like a sidewalk on the left of the railroad track and more gravel on the right of the railroad track sidewalk of the left all right mark you're killing it i like the the person on the left does have their arm up like that like i don't know how you do that i don't know how you do that instinctively but you are dead on there are two slats on the bench behind their back so the two wood slats the only thing else that there is is there's two bicycles to the left of them like they rode their bikes here and they parked them and then the sky is a little cloudy and at the very top there's like it's like we're under a tree taking the picture lead a lead a lead a lead we'll get to it it's gonna be great all right sidewalk on the left with a little bit of grass in between just a little gap of grass in between sidewalk oh look at that sidewalk i love that gravel to the right of the track this is a gravel gray it sure is puppies wearing a black collar with a little black nose little dark eye uh all right mark you got one bicycle all you need is one more bicycle and then it's literally just a little bit of clouds a little bit of leaves at the top like a tree is dangling above us like a tree is dangling above us okay yeah yeah beautiful yep the bicycle i love that they are different colors and the left one is a darker color i don't know how you're just reading these things instinctively from what i'm giving you tree on the left tree on the left tree above it's like we're standing under a tree branch you can't you can't see this no you're good you're good are we doing more are we stopping one more right all right one more i wasn't keeping track i didn't i didn't count this time all right coming out of the rails just a little bit of like blocks of wood where the red is so you get to that metal in the middle so just put some like dark you know whoa not the whole thing what just little blocks like a little it's like a brick like a brick is sticking out from the side of the rail like that big yep there on each side for each rail yep perfect perfect i got no more notes i'm feeling pretty confident all right you can't see the tree trunk i was misleading you just green leaves just like wispy leaves and then it's just some clouds it's kind of a beautiful blue sky i've been like i don't know what i'm doing here i don't know what i'm doing here i'm just trying to look like a little cloudy like nice summer clouds that's it baby yeah a couple more clouds a couple more clouds are they cumulonimbus yeah the the cool kind the cool kind yeah man i love cloudy trees watch this watch this i don't think i could even add any more notes if i wanted to you killed it mark thank you sensei there here you go here's your here's my i see i see i see oh my oh oh my god that's a big image biggest picture ever taken you know what damn yeah i put the clouds too high but that was my assumption being in the sky and all i was not gonna get hung up on that because at the end there we were tight on time no i like and like the the lady has her arms up and you have your arm up it's around the other person but like and the the left bike is black and the right bike is white and i'm like oh my god i don't know what i'm doing here but you have a dark blue and then like a gray that's it do you know wow i think that's a great recreate i think you nailed it again i feel great i feel great about this all right there's there's puppy i see what you were trying to describe now wait the fucking i don't know what else to call those let me see they're like little bricks he made them they didn't the bricks i think that's a river to the left i don't think that's a sidewalk i think it is you it's very fuzzy and i'm very old but okay you know actually i was prepared to be like what an idiot this guy can't describe anything this guy's the worst describer in the world i was ready to be all like this guy's never even seen a railroad but no you know what you defied my expectations thank you thank you it's just little bits of grass mostly on the left but there like there is some on the track behind the puppy and on the puppy's nose and no i i think actually especially if it was like cropped in a little bit so that the just the train track was bigger i think what mark captured there is pretty pretty spot on yeah i was trying to begin to describe that it hit the side of the frame but like that's hard to just it's hard to describe when you have 10 seconds to do it see i knew he'd be good at this is this enjoyable mark i was thinking you'd enjoy this yeah oh god it's super fun yeah for me because we've played this game a couple times but you were you were always on the you were the describer you were the describer yeah and i feel like wade and i are not good drawers which is not your fault i don't know if i'm good at either end of this part but i'm gonna keep doing it i can't disagree all right one more i do feel like we had a lot of time on that one we're burning through more time should we just do one more image bob or should be yeah let's do one more let's do one more i think we should knock 10 seconds off of there oh are you sure i think we should bump it down to 15 i have a simple one why is there no bucket tool oh there's a bucket this is gonna be really with the blue background all right i love it what do you want a different one no no blue no this is perfect honestly perfect no notes okay good oh i just say it like this blue idiot here this blue background loser because when bob and i were thinking about describing our images what we were thinking i'm starting with a blue canvas well i can change it at any moment bob i'm skipping to number four which is really stupid if me but i'm skipping the number four for myself yeah no okay so we'll do 15 seconds i think i'm my first this time your first this time how many rounds do you want to do at 15 seconds yeah i think maybe we should do five rounds give an extra round here get some time to polish it up a little bit mark whenever you're ready all right i'm ready okay mark imagine you're sitting in a passenger seat of a car and you're looking at the rear view mirror and you see in the rear view mirror reflection of the car but then you see sky a couple towers and a bit of road under the mirror i don't want to be this guy but i think he means side view mirror to begin with but oh he'd lead a lead a little oh fuck this is a close-up picture of a bright red twisty slide it's about halfway up it's picture of the twist the whole frame is the slide okay whole frame is a slut a child is going down the slide wearing blue shoes all you could see is their feet because they're coming around the back side of the twist delete okay okay all right side view mirror side view mirrors just erase that erase it are you sure yep side view mirror coming out of the left side of the frame coming out of the left side of the frame yes so like yes perfect and there's like a reflection of the road and like a bus coming up from behind a dotted white line the sun is in the the middle of the rear view mirror on the horizon okay okay okay all right mark you're getting really close already but the there's a kid wearing blue shoes coming down the slide and all you can see is their feet going from left to right poking around the the like bend right because it's a swirly around slide type of situation yep hold on i think you're killing it i see where you're going with this all right so uh car you see a reflection of the car in the left side of where the sun is so put a reflection of like the window a door handle what color's car can i ask that what what color's car it's hard to tell probably like a dark orange like a rusty colored car i feel like that's an important detail it's hard to tell man it's really actually hard to tell little little little little all right yeah you're killing i like where we're at here it's like a swirly around slide so like all you see is the feet in the middle of the frame kind of peeking around going from left to right going from left to right yeah so it's like swirling around right so they're little little little fucking hell all right draw a little bit of a horizon below the sun so like a like a flat line perfect now put a dotted line in the middle of that going down dotted line in the middle of that going down yeah that's the road and there's a bus on the that other the right side the right side is there's like a bus coming up perfect and now we're gonna go to the right side and we're gonna go to the right side and now outside the mirror there's two towers okay basically like blue jeans just gonna be like oh we see our legs right all we see here yes perfect that is exactly right that's so perfect and the background behind the slide is like trees but they're they have like a little bokeh like they're very out of focus trees it's just a little just a little green all right mark so we need the horizon outside the window here outside the mirror and then there's two big like radio towers coming up on the right side and then more road underneath yep you got it two towers a little bit of grass under the towers and then it's road all right so green a little sparse some or other yeah it's just it's just like there's a bunch of trees in the background they're just kind of out of focus bokeh yeah bokeh bokeh bokeh them bokeh these nuts all right so a little bit of grass no that's it nope done oh that's it i thought that was four is that five that was five i was checking them off i left one off all right we're done i don't feel so confident about this the slide situation is crazy right now that's exactly what it looks like don't even worry about it all right all right here you go mark oh man you're right it was hard to tell what the color of the car yeah it's surprisingly difficult to tell the color of the car i would guess black yeah it looks like a dark colored car it's look like it's got a little bit of rusty colored around the mirror is the only reason i said like a dark orange that's just the sun glaring on the plastic because it looks like a plastic mirror surround well yeah but it could be any color that's a darker color or like a yeah it's hard to tell okay i see what you're going for yeah i get it i think you nailed it i thought i thought this guy was like fully out of the window looking in the side but then i would have seen him in the reflection i should have from the context clues you know i should have known our goal was to start off with the simple of an image and then go much more complex so this is this was the most complex one i had i feel like my image got simpler i just honestly couldn't figure out how to explain it in a way to get to get it across to mark very well i think it was i think it was on me this time my image oh okay all right i was not able to imagine this but i so get ya those legs i don't know this slide shape very well because i don't know i haven't been to a playground in a while you mean me going like this wasn't enough information for you oh i wasn't looking at you i wasn't looking at that come on man come on this is the uh the cursed mine is the curse slide that makes you long this is the uh the cursed mine is the cursed slide that makes you long it's a wonka slide it stretches you out makes you wobbly it looks like the wicked witch's legs if the house lands on her but then she went down a slide afterward like i lost my slippers i'm gonna go down this slide a lot less tree than i thought a lot more slide than i imagined yeah yeah yeah i gotta say i think wade uh yeah wade has it but i'm not the judge so what do i know oh i don't disagree i think wade definitely took that one i think that was i think that was wade our middle round were both pretty good first round was definitely bob man there's so much going on in these like bob's image it's all about how complicated the slide is mine there's just so much in the image to describe see these don't have to be a punishment no they're delightful that was stressful for mark that was stressed that was very stressful i was should we save our other images bob or should we share what we were gonna give him oh i'll share mine i honestly couldn't decide for sure which one of these last two i had left was worse but that was the last one i was gonna go with oh oh god the hands oh god yeah the hands i don't know how he would have described that i think maybe but oh it would just look like a wash of brown i feel like you either would have got it but it would have been hard to draw or i would never have been able to explain it to you and you would never even have understood what the was going on in that one yeah i don't think i would have a ring of hands grabbing wrists of the hand nearest there's six hands i would have said there are six people who are all grabbing each other's wrists creating a hexagon of hands let's see if you'd have said people i would have zoomed it out in my head very far i would have drawn people ah yeah yeah there are six hands there are six hands grabbing each other all right so the next thing we have do you have your words i do i just pulled them up we have words i have found three words wade has found three words we're going to send them to you and then you have to get the other person who doesn't know the word to guess it and you get to decide how you give us clues you have to say it backwards or you have to give us more direction and i alternate or uh so wade goes first because he has found the shortest word but then we just go back and forth so wade goes first giving you the word which means i go first guessing here's your first word mark all right and you can either say it backwards or let him pick a word and then you say more or less or whatever i feel like this would be easier if i just say it backwards i'm here for it okay aramak era back camera yeah perfect wow easy easy that would have taken forever if it was guessing which way the words go god yeah well given that wade and i discussed how difficult we wanted to make these words i feel a little bit worse about the words that i have decided to choose oh mine mine get worse don't worry i once again i started off we were warming up but it gets maybe mine just start bad and stay just as bad and it's it's totally doable mark there's your first word from me you're gonna know what that is he's never gonna know what that is! sorry he might he knows silly words okay wade you ready? yeah lebizage one more lebizage weh or leh leh leh buzz edge lebizage jezebel jezebel beautiful ha ha see there he goes i told you he knows goofy ass words all right okay good that was nice am i crushing it or are you guys crushing it i mean it's got to be mark crushing it bob are you ready? oh i'm ready i'm doing i'm gonna just stick with backwards because otherwise we'll be here all day all right okay i'm sounding into my head and this is gonna sound like i'm joking i'm not ketchup ketchup ketchup ketchup ketchup ketchup catch tech ketchup it's definitely cat up i might have done it wrong i was so stuck on the ketchup i i realized that might be leading you astray i mean you could say it more times backwards probably can i say it more times can i say it more times backwards probably can i say it more times if you get another shot right to yeah you could i think you can keep pronouncing it catch yep catch yep catch yep paycheck yeah there it is yeah see see all right i gotta be honest i tried to pick one that i thought you couldn't say backwards because i thought that you would want to rely on the saying it backwards and so i tried this is purposefully one that i think it's going to be really hard to say backwards ready win oh hit me i laughed this R.E. Loftus? R.E. Loftus. Sit, fall to your. The Lemonati has spent decades keeping lemon on top and lime in the shadows. Their lemon agenda has infiltrated everything, even our music. That hit song named after the color of lemons? Not a coincidence. Big Lemon has been pulling strings in the industry for years. Think about it. But now, 7-Up is fighting back with their new lime lemon soda. Now lime comes first. 7-Up, flip the sip. R.E. Loftus? Yes. R.E. Loftus? Dijou. What is Dijou? What are you, typing this out? Yeah, it helps me. R.E. I love soup shit shit failure shit shit is it shit I love soup I love I love I do think it's it it's a beginning usefulness oh no no I love I don't know what see you what are you doing just do it backwards man see you oh yes oh well useful oh no I laughed so I loved oh it's full oh it's oh you this started so promising what happened this is a word that has been the focus of previous episodes this is a word that is related to us I loved so us for the uh us what how what are you oh I'm just gonna tell you you're converting that part wrong when you're saying it backward I love you I love you Ose. Leha. God, this is making me angry. I loft so. I loft so. I loft so. Instead of so, we're ose. No. How are you doing that? So. Wa. Was. I loft so. I loft so. Oso. Uh-huh. Wa. Whoa. I loft see you. See you. Whoa-wee, Stafalia. Whoa, whoa-wee. Whoa-wee, Sloth. I don't know if we could count that. Yeah, that was really close, but. We sloth. West-fall-ia. Whoa-wee-st-fall-ia. Oh. Oh. West-fall-ia. Hey! Holy shit. You know, that treaty or whatever it was? Oh, my God. Yeah, my brain was not going to West-fall-ia. Give Bob a hard one. Give him a hard one. Yeah, no, let's do this. First guess. Let's go, Mark. I feel like I want a harder word than what I had picked. I wasn't that mean. Yeah, get a hard one. That's what I was saying. Get him a hard one. Yeah, hold on. Hold on a second. That's a word that we've talked about on multiple episodes of this show. And have never gotten right when it comes up. But you reference it all the time. There have been so many bits where there's like, oh, I can't remember. The Treaty of West-fall-ia. You're right. You're right. I did think that one would be hard to say backwards, but Mark actually did a pretty good job of it. Yeah, thank you. Are you finding a new word, Wade? No, I'm keeping mine. I wanted to. But I'm looking and I'm like, eh, I'll just keep mine. All right, all right, all right. All right, man. I guess here, have it on easy mode. Okay, here we go. First try. Mm-hmm. Reg-ro-be-sich. Holy monkey. Reg-ro-be-sich. Cheeseburger. Hey! Yeah. Yeah. Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh. To be fair, when I chose these words, I thought some of them would be the other version of us getting to them. But, well done. That's fair. That's fair. That's fair. Yeah, I guess it was my mistake for letting Mark choose. Obviously, one of those is way harder than the other, I guess. Although, I feel like when we did the saying it backwards the first time, it was like fucking pulling teeth the whole time. And then this time, magically. Me guessing. Well, you are guessing, though. And you've done a pretty good job, except for the Westphalia, but that was a hard word. That was a hard word. This one is so hard, I can't tell if I'm spelling it right. Hang on. Oh, God. I really don't know if you could do this. I'm going to do this one saying it backwards. But it's up to you, buddy. I got a bonus one for Mark to send you. All right. You ready? Oh, yeah. G'nin oi tid na krei. The fuck? He's casting a spell on you. Don't look him in the eyes. One more time. Yarkin tit yin-ing. Yarkin tit yin-ing. He got it for sure. That's it. It's not even English. It's an old Norse word or something. Yeah. He didn't actually get it, though. That felt like he might have believed that. Okay. We got ray at the end. The opposite of ray is yar, right? Oh, man. I think we lost. You learned the last time. My brain works different on this than your guys' does. It does. It really does. It really does. I hear ray. I think R-A-Y, so I'm like backwards. Y-A-R. Whereas you guys are like, the way you think about it is different. Like, Mark ended cheeseburger with a ch. I would never have done that because it's H-C. Okay. It's, you know, I see where your logic is going, but, you know, there's other options, too. I'll just say that. Okay. Instead of ray, it'd be air? Mm-hmm. Air con. D-I-T-I-O-N-I-N-G. Air con. Air conditioning? There it is! Oh. There it is! God. I love the way that you just say it just slightly wrong, and you're like, air con-dit-ion-ing. That's not a word. Okay. I got there pretty quick from that one. All right. No, you didn't. This is so fun to watch. Here, here, Mark. Bonus one for Bob. Oh, I have a bonus one? All right. First guess. All right. Yeah. I'm ready. I'm ready. Bob, I went up in letters more. Okay. Good. Okay. O-B-O-T-T-E-R-E-P-O-C-N-A. Oh, man. Can you say it one more time? Does it start with an L? L? I can't. I can't. I don't think I can give those kind of details, but I believe phonetically I'm doing it as it should be. I will say, I think the third syllable in what Mark's saying is the hardest part. It's the hardest part to pronounce. Yeah. O-B-O-T-T-E-R-E-P-O-C-N-A could be more accurate. This is where I always worry we're going to summon a demon by doing this game, because just randomly we're going to say a demon's name, and we're saying it so many times, like we're chanting it. Uncool. Uncarburated. No. No, fuck. The first bit is really fucking me up. I can't tell what it is. I don't know what the end of the word is. Yeah, I, if, yeah, if you, it's not a word you would use casually in day-to-day conversation. That's for sure. Oh, I don't know if I can get this. Uncabin. Pockna. Pockna. Uncap. Pa. Oh. Pa. Pa. Uncup. Oof. Un. Pock. Pock. Pock. Pock. Pock. Pock. Pock. Pock. Pock. Pock. Uncop. Uncop. Obatire. Tyree. Uncomplicated. No. Uncom. Oh. Obatire. Pock. Obatire. Tyree. Tyree. Right. Right. Obatire. Right. Tabble. Oh. Uncopy. Right. Right. Tabble. Oh. Oh. Oh. Uncopy. Rightable. Yeah. Hey. That was a very difficult one. Oh. That is a long word. All right. I do know that word. So how'd you pronounce it backwards, Mark? I just wanna say how. Obat. Tyree. Pock. Na. Here's how I would've pronounced it backwards. 'Cause the way my brain works. I would've said Elbath. Geary. Pock. New. No one would've gotten it. But see, for me, that's how I think of it. You're trying to actually read it backwards? Yeah. Because then I'm like, okay, Elbath. That means it's B-A-T-H. So it'd be backwards. T-A-B. Like, that's how my brain processes it. I'm just trying to emulate what it would sound like if it was actually backwards. And then obviously the editor should play it forwards or my backwards, backwards. You might be actually phonetically pronouncing it backwards, but for me, I'm like, oh, okay, this is how I'd say it if it was backwards. Like. I see. I see. Just the way our brains work differently is interesting. Anyway, I think we can all agree Mark wins. Yeah. All right. Yeah, boy. I wrote down points. Seven points or just dash dot and line points. Although those are definitely seven. That's seven points. Oh, that's pretty good. Seven to nothing. Mark wins. All right. Mark, do you want to give your winner speech? I thank you for this opportunity to showcase my amazing abilities of both pronouncing things backwards and drawing. I will retire from this podcast henceforth because I can go no further in my abilities as a entertainer and presenter. And I think exiting with grace is the only thing right for me at this time. I now hand it off to me. For the loser speech. Aw, you didn't lose. If anyone lost, we lost. I was going to be like, I'll never give up. I may have lost this one, but I'm going to come back stronger next time. Cut out my interruption. Let him do his bit. All right. Look, I may be beaten this time and I may have lost horribly, but you know one thing about me. I never give up. I never quit. I'll be back again next week for that crown. And until I get that crown, I'm never giving up on myself or you or this whole podcast. Oh, you can bet on me being here. Every time. Cause I am not ever going to quit. I'm going to do the outro too. I don't know if we have anything else to add at this point. Yeah, that's the end. It's time for the outro. That's how this works. Mark will be hosting next week. I feel like we've turned a new leaf on the one man shows. I've got to be honest. I thought it was instead of being us torturing Mark, I thought it was a real showcase of Mark. I thought that was lovely. I had a lot of fun. If I'm not having fun, what are we doing here? Why are we even on this planet? Life's about fun and nothing else. Yes. Great message. Yeah. Make sure you follow the podcast. So, you know, when the episodes come out, we're down to one a week right now, but that might change. You got to look out. Also check out the merch distractible store dot shop. I was like that edu. That's not right. No distractible dot shop. Yeah. Distractible job. That's the one still haven't learned it. Follow the guys. Mark Byer, Lord minion, seven, seven, seven, or minion, seven, seven, seven. I am my skirm. Mark hosts the next one. I think we all know what it's going to be. We all know. Oh, for sure. Prison tattoos. No, that's not. It wasn't a perfect crime. Yeah. Prison tattoos. We're giving each other prison tats. Oh, I want a dick butt on my butt. More on my dick. Ooh. Anyway, until then, that's the end. And I'm not going to let Wade participate in the outro at all. Podcast out. It's too late. Can't do it. Tammy regularly hauls stuff to her kids at college. That's why she shops at BJ's Wholesale Club, saving up to 25% off. Grocery store prices, beef jerky, microwave meals, laundry pods, even they can't screw up. Have you met my kids? And with BJ's gas, she gets there for less. They call me the road warrior. This is your home, road warrior mom. Home of the save. Join for just $20 at BJ's.com slash mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months. Open soon. Kelly Clarkson here with Wayfair. I know holiday magic starts at home and Wayfair makes it easy. They have everything from Christmas trees. And mantle decor to outdoor lighting and inflatables that I'll use year after year. Wayfair, every style, every home.