Mark's Big Dangerous Word Game

Life is all about making decisions. Sometimes you make questionable ones, like buying a new TV that's too big for the wall because the electronics store employee was a little too good at their job. Then, sometimes you make great ones, like protecting your home and auto with Progressive. You get customized coverage options so you can be sure you have the right coverage. Get your quote today at Progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company affiliates and other insurers, not available in all states. We are live from the Sam's Club Holiday Club Parade. Oh, wait, are those guys? Woo, just snoozing. It's the Food Coma Club. They might lose count of their helpings of turkey, but never their spending. Oh, you hear that? It's the Cool Ants Club, in their natural habitat of giving the trendiest gifts. Ah, it's the Deal Hunters Club. No sudden movements. They smell value a mile away. Whatever holiday club you're in, Sam's Club helps you make the most of your holidays. Come join us. Sam's Club. For decades, a shadowy organization called the Lemonati has kept lemon on top and lime in the shadows. Look around. Lemon-forward sodas. Even lemon-forward songs. We ran the tracks, slowed them down, reversed them, and squeezed out the truth. That's lemon propaganda right there. But now, 7-Up is fighting back with their new lime-lemon soda. Join the 7-Up rising. Flip the sip. Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Destructible. This episode. Melodramatic Mark kicks off with coming up behinds, then initiates a terminal hot potato duel. Bullshitting Bob pounds hard, upgrades James' attire, advocates golden pussy, but misses iron lung. Go watch it. Wiggly Wade admits, then displays amnesia, mentions Mark miniscule mane, and struggles with syntax. From podcast longevity to Martha Walsh. It's time for Mark's Big Dangerous Word Game. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello, and welcome to Distractible, the podcast that is definitely going to get you excited. It's a podcast that is definitely going to get you excited. It's definitely not going to end anytime soon. So don't you worry about that. We're going to be here for a while. Don't listen to the rumors. We are here for you. For as long as we need to. And you know who else is probably going to be here, or at least one of them, Bob and Wade. I'm one of them. There was a lot of things said there that were slightly concerning. Well, what was concerning? He said, don't listen to the rumors. Yeah, don't listen to the rumors. If it makes you feel any better, I'll give you both some concerned points. Not that that makes, I'm valid or anything. Just because I'm assigning a point to it, doesn't mean that your concerns are validated. I'm just doing this because. That's a good reason to do stuff. Anyway, this is the game show. And yes, it's a game show because points and rewards are offered during every single one of these episodes, or at least we'll say that to get our ratings up. And I'm your host, Markiplier, multi-hyphenated, talented, weekend losing director, along with an Emmy losing director, whatever I do, I'll always get second place. There's no question about that. Oh, he's coming up right behind the first place finisher. That's a really good place. The best pace, even, depending on how you think about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure. First is the worst. Second is the best I've heard. These are all good sayings. And Wade, you just earned yourself a point. Thank you. But I heard it too. I'll tell you why later. But anyway, what we do here first, as we've been doing this for a long time, and we've done every episode since the dawn of time, is talk about our lives, because we're very conceited like that. And we think that our lives are interesting enough to share with you, and you want to listen to it. So that's exactly what we're going to do. Who wants to go first? Me. I actually heard that at the same time. Who said that first? Me. That time Bob was slightly ahead. I'll give you one more chance. One more chance. Me. So slow. Bob got there good. I was trying to stick it up. You get the first point. You get the first point there. All right. Okay. I wanted to tie it up to be tied with Bob. You could never tie with me. Bob, what's your life? My life is pretty good. The walk in 365 miles is going well. Still on pace through today. And I think I'm ahead a couple miles. It's good. It's good. It's not getting as easier as I would have hoped, but also I'm going to start turning up the speed a little bit. So it's going to get harder, but then it's going to get way easier, really fast, because that's how exercising works. I try hard like twice, and then it's all easy. So I'm looking forward to it. I think that is actually how it works. Yes. Okay, soundboard, Wade. Yes. I thought I had another thing. And we pass it to Wade. Ah, dang it. Almost out of there. Almost at it. Welcome, welcome, welcome back, everyone. Not going to lie. After one of the recent episodes we did, Bob was talking about some good old sausage gravy. I have convinced my family that we are getting together, and they are making me some gravy, and I can't wait. That's great, man. Great. I remember you talking about some sausage gravy. Yeah, Bob talked about it, and I was like, you guys won't believe what Bob brought up on the podcast. Some good old-fashioned sausage gravy. You guys should totally make some and invite me over. You're not interested in making it, in learning about that, or participating in that? Oh, no, no, no. Nothing's quite like having some good old mom-made food. It's fun to learn new skills. It's pretty fun. It's pretty fulfilling, you know? Oh, you're right. No interest whatsoever. Okay, man. Now, we should. We could, but no. It was actually a coincidence. I'm totally lying. Damn it. Does it make it a lie point? Wait, what? My family was just out of the blue, was like, hey, we're going to make this, and they invited us over. Oh, okay. So there is gravy. There is gravy. Just I didn't initiate it. I was just trying to, you know, make it look like I did it. The pretext is a lie, but the story is true. The story's true. Just like all stories, there's a little bit of fluff, a little bit of filler, and a lot of gravy. Like all stories. My stories are all 100% true. I don't manifest, that for me. Bob. I've never exaggerated anything ever in a story I've told on this podcast. Listen, Bob. What? Is that a lie? It's clearly not a lie, because I said it was true. Is that a lie? No. Ask me again. Is that a lie? Is that a lie? Yes. Lie point. I continue to worry about my memory. That's the other thing. My memory is so bad. Apparently, I was talking to Pat, someone in JP recently, who I record videos with on the YouTube channel. They were like, oh, man, this thing. Remember this big story we talked about like two weeks ago? Well, there's an update. I was like, what big story? Was I there? And like, they kept dropping hints as to what it was about, and I was like, zero recollection. None. Are you guys sure I was there? And then they sent like a long paragraph of retelling the whole story. I was like, oh yeah, that. It took retelling the entire story for me to remember them telling me the story. I don't know if that's remembering. I think that's just learning. But after I learned, I remembered learning it before. It was like deja vu. Wait, so it was a story that you've heard before, but they didn't know that you heard it before? No, they knew I had. I had forgotten that I heard. It wasn't even a story. It was like a real life event that was like a big deal. Like, yeah, remember, remember this thing? And I was like, nope. He doesn't remember. I actually don't fully remember. No, you can't. That's the bit. You can't. The bit can't be real. No, it kind of. That's the thing, though. It kind of is like it was one of the stories about like not picking up the hints that someone was into you. Is that a thing you deal with on a regular basis? I guess you wouldn't know, would you? I hope my wife's into me. I'll have to record some of our interactions and see if someone, some expert can help me figure it out. You should covertly record some of your interactions and then post them anonymously online. Then you can see what she really thinks. And nothing else bad will come from that. Wait, I'm going to tell you this right now because this is part of it. I've written a conditional thing down. At the end of this episode, I'm going to ask you if you remember even the thing that this point is related to. You don't have to remember the story. He's not going to. But if you remember, I'll give you this point. Okay. I got this in the bag. It's weird that like I can recollect an epic rap battle of history, full lyrics. I can picture the whole thing that I've not heard in like five years. And then something important from like a week ago gets brought up and I'm like, I have no idea who that is. It's like that's your relative. Oh, have I ever met them? Only your whole life. I'm exaggerating slightly, but like there, there have been moments where like, I don't know if I'm just that spacey or if my hard drives are so full of crap that like important stuff is getting deleted. But I think that's how it works. The memory issues have been a little scary. Not gonna lie. They've been a little scary. Simulation's breaking down. We're going to be careful, boys. All right. I won't. But yeah, what can you do? Unplug me so I can be the bald guy that wants the steak. Wait, no, you're already in. Can we talk about that last time? I remember something. That's a callback. So I'm going to remember that you have one callback, but you're already in the simulation and you are the bald guy and you do love steak. Can I have a steak? Yeah, actually, you could order a steak right now. You could go to the grocery store and get a steak. Oh, nothing sounds good. But it's tender, juicy. I know it's not the Lord of the Rings scene with the tomatoes, but I imagine I'm reimagining that scene where he's like, I know the steak is tender, juicy. That scene weasels its way into so many things in my life. life. Does anything even remotely similar to that guy eating my brain is like you remember that scene tomatoes yeah yeah toes yep mm-hmm tomatoes boil them mash them sticking in a paschetti anything else i didn't mean to like i was trying to think of a way like all right i get i get what you go for and it was so funny we're just gonna skip right past it i knew that they were gonna add post laughter like crowd laughter so i was just waiting for that to die down that's what that was do we do that do we have laugh tracks oh yeah the editors prop us up a lot oh yeah oh yeah distractible was filmed in front of a live studio audience well that's a lie i could tell lies no i'm not gonna do that i said if i said lot all because that's just a joke if and jokes are mostly untrue if i was like has to be an actual lie a lie with intention maybe well i mean i'm just gonna say that right now but we can codify it in the constitution later so if you misremember something are you lying even if it's unintentional or are you joking i don't think that misremembering can count as lying a lie has to have intent right yeah you have a lie means that you know it's not true yeah you're acknowledging truth you're just choosing to say the opposite so if you're delusional your delusions aren't lies you're bullshitting even if they're untrue yeah that makes me want to read some philosophy papers bob you didn't get much time for small talk do you have anything else before we move on i really actually don't have a whole lot new uh did i have i told you guys james is wearing uh big boy underpants these days oh that's cool that's huge he's like he did it he's potty trained he's like a whole person now not that he wasn't a whole person before but him him standing up and just being like i gotta pee is hilarious because it just is i don't know is his grip strength growing exponentially with his size kind of he's really strong he could probably beat me up if he caught me off guard if if he got the first shot in and he caught me at the right moment he could probably take me already just a little shoryuken right to your nuts just how tall is he now somewhere in the neighborhood of 40 inches how many feet is that three three and a half three and a half feet something like that careful mark he's catching up come on man god damn come on man can i get a point for that i'm gonna put on the wheel uh preemptively mentioned mark's height the most i'm winning wait is that good or do you lose a point for that one we don't have many minus points so let's make that a minus that'll be a minus kind of like when our heights are compared huh i don't know just laugh no one's laughing editors no please take the studio out of here put them in guam life is all about making decisions sometimes you make questionable ones like buying a new tv that's too big for the wall because the electronics store employee was a little too good at their job then sometimes you make great ones like protecting your home and auto with progressive you get customized coverage options so you can be sure you have the right coverage get your quote today at progressive.com progressive casualty insurance company affiliates and other insurers not available in all states the secret society of semi-homemade listen up sam's club has pre-made dishes for a thanksgiving feast that's ready in two hours all while tasting suspiciously homemade come join us sam's club individual oven times may vary this episode is brought to you by t-mobile 5g home internet you already know the t-mobile 5g home internet is ridiculously easy to set up with a price that doesn't feel like you're getting scammed every month but here's something new worth noting t-mobile now is the fastest 5g home internet according to the experts at ucla speed test no seriously their 5g home internet speeds are officially the fastest which means that when you're downloading all your movies that aren't mine every single one except for mine you'll get them at the fastest speeds possible along with all your video calls and uploading files and maybe even streaming something in the background you know and yeah it is still a great value backed by a lot of people they'll creep up when you're not paying attention so if you want the fastest 5g home internet with a simple setup and savings that actually stick head over to t-mobile.com slash home internet to check availability today price guarantee exclusions like taxes and fees apply fastest based on ucla speed test intelligence data second half 2025 all rights reserved who's ready for i don't know what to name this game just call it the perfectest crime no matter what it actually is no no it's not that it's not that wait you got a segue point to go into this because you said something that was kind of like what the game is going to be oh hell yeah what was that you took a phrase and you changed the ending of it right that's kind of what this is we're playing a mixture of hot potato with a grenade and sentence get longer and it's funny with a grenade with a grenade okay i have to explain this fully so that we all are on the same page and we're going to take a look at what the game is going to be like and then we're going to look at what the game is going to be like and then we're going to look at what the game is going to be like and then we're going to look at what the game is going to be like and then we're going to look at what the game is going to be like and then we're going to look at what the game is going to be like and then we're going to look at what the game is going to be like and then we're going to look at what the game is going to be I feel like we did the opposite and it worked out great for bob and I have a bad feeling somehow This is also going to work out great for bob and i'm already mad about it No, if we did the opposite and I did well we're doing the opposite of that now you'll do well because that's the opposite you'd think that logically but somehow i've got some extra structure here for this right so it's not going to be completely open-ended or it is going to be open-ended but it starts with a base right so for example my favorite color is blank that'll be whoever's going first their prompt and they have one word for the first sentence now where it's complicated is the other person then has to make that two words and you could just string it together like blue baby blue but when you get to three you have to keep going and the sentence still has to be a complete sentence with non-gibberish words and no repeating words you can't do very very blue you can't do baby baby blue do we have to keep what we're given and and add to it no no no you can do whatever you want you just need to keep adding another yes so you get the same beginning of it this way you don't have to continue because it wouldn't make any sense if they said blue so we only add to the end yeah yeah you have to add to the end where the blank is you both are adding at the same spot and you're both starting over so when i get to let's say bob's going first i would say my favorite color is and then you would say the rest and then i would go to wade and he i would say my favorite color is or it could do it differently and you start the sentence you guys say it and otherwise not whatever feels out i'll do it first just for the first round we'll feel how that feels and if you guys are comfortable you can just like take out take the rest of it away and say the sentence back and forth and that way it's just you guys and i'll just play judge making sure no one's cheating no one's doing illogical sentences and no one's repeating what the other person said too specifically i'm gonna be loosey-goosey about that one you can definitely build off of each other but if if you say baby blue and then like kinda baby blue i'm gonna be like your first warning and then you know so the variety stays there but i'll i'll play it loose yeah fuck the word kinda kind is for idiots okay does this all make sense i think it does yeah i'm gonna break all the rules but i'm excited for it i didn't mean to sound so shocked but i think i think it does yeah no it's a it's a little complicated because there's a few more rules but i think that it should work all right head for wade tails for bob that's bald yeah and he goes first all right bald bald bald bald when i give you the prompt as soon as i say what the sentence is i will probably say it again just so you really get it well actually no i won't say it again because i'm going to say it again when i give it to bob and then i'll i'll say it first to be each of you this time one word then two more words after my prompt then three then four then five then six whoever is stuck on their turn by the time the timer goes off and the grenade explodes loses so i say i'm already thinking of my victory speech so i'm pretty excited about this one i'm already worried whenever he said favorite color my first thought was fish so i'm excited okay good okay good i would count that for the first but then you get a warning i would be like okay but it's just a color timer wasn't on that was that was outside the bounds yeah yeah this is we're not doing favorite color that was throw away example oh good i was prepared for it let's do something else then were you thinking nothing but colors i was trying ah my favorite improv game think about this sentence for five minutes and then let's make it let's do one of those things you planned we can start with that if you want to no no no i'm having a slow brain day it'll be much funnier if i don't know the prompt so wait your prompt give me liberty or give me all right give me liberty or give me do i not start now no that's just like you're just gonna say you said all right like that was the answer oh no no all right so give me liberty give me all right all right bob i thought we had to say the whole thing give me liberty or give me all right wait oh wait we're not supposed to do that no i remember right wait i messed up this will be a warm-up round yeah wait give me liberty Or give me the death penalty. Bob. Give me liberty or give me three golden cat babies. I think you got it. Oh, yeah. Victor's speech coming in hot. All right. Okay. I knew we needed a tester round. We're going to wash our hands of that one. What I'm going to do to help you out instead of just going, Bob, I'm going to say the sentence and then all you need to worry about is saying the last words. So I'll be your Mad Lib book. You are the just the blank. We'll try that and feel that out. Okay. Yeah. We don't get to set the pace. Mark sets the pace. We just have to keep going. All right. Very explicitly not supposed to build off of each other. I'll learn. Your instincts are so strong. Hey, I'm not going to stop you if you do. If it makes sense, go for it, man. But at the end of the day, so long as the sentence makes sense, that's all we're going for. I think we're just used to that style where we build off of each other. Nah, this is new. This is fresh. We just have to. Adept. Wait, I'm gonna let you go first again. There were no points awarded in that last one. All right. Dear Penthouse Forum. Hi. Bob, dear Penthouse Forum. I fucked. Wait, dear Penthouse Forum. What up, dog? She finally said yes. That's great. I really thought I could. Dear. Penthouse Forum. Bob. Sometimes I wonder why she left. Yes. Wait. I couldn't get it in there right. That was good. I had sex with a really hot lady. I don't even know why I'm writing. Oh, that's only eight. That was only eight. Yeah, you need nine. I do not even know why I am writing. Do you know what she said? Bob. I don't know. I think you. Wait, let's do a check. You did it. You chucked the grenade at Bob at the last second. All right, Wade. Congratulations. You got dear Penthouse Forum point. Man, I'm better with words than I am at counting, I've learned. I'm cool with reading the prompts to you. I like you guys just focusing on just the sentences because it makes it easier to count. Yeah. I think it's fine like that. Yeah. Okay. So I'll just keep doing that. Bob, are you ready? Mm-hmm. Oh, Canada, our country. Oh, Canada, our hot mama. Oh, Canada, our-- And native land. Oh, Canada, our big spoon, little spoon. What? What? Hey, look, if you, I'm going to take our and native land, I'm going to take big spoon and little spoon. All right, all right, all right. Oh, Canada, our-- Place with lots of bears. Oh, Canada, our place that's way too big, I-- Dragon. Say that again. Just turn it into an A and you've got it instead of I. Yeah, A-Y-E. I-- Hurry, say it. I-A-- Say that's the whole thing. Wait. Oh. No, don't. Take your time. The place that's too big for A. What the fuck? That-- He doesn't remember what he said. You don't remember what you just said. No, that's the problem. I don't remember. We've been over this. I think I was at a distinct advantage when Wade had to remember words. I think I was at a distinct advantage when Wade had to remember words previously. I was already moving on to eight! Yeah, you were very close. If you had said A instead of I, I would have-- I would have given that to you, so-- Ugh, damn the vowels! That was very good. Wait. Your sentence is: Everybody loves when I-- Dance. Bob, everyone loves when I-- Get down. Wade, everyone loves when I-- Dance. Bob, everyone loves when I-- Dance. Wade, everyone loves when I-- Have bald head. Everyone loves when I-- Pull up my pants. Everyone loves when I-- Smooch twice, then run away. Everyone loves when I-- Bring ice cream to the party. Yes, that's good! Wade, everyone loves when I-- Break it down philosophically at the house. Wait. Break it down philosophically at the house. Yes! Yes. Bob, everyone loves when I-- Get lost, but then remember where I'm going. Good. Wade, everyone loves when I-- Totally don't know where I am or what doing. I'll let that slide, but you're on thin ice. Bob, everyone loves when I-- Go to Africa, then play that song by Toto. To-- Go to Africa, then play that song by To-- Oh, Toto's one word. Toto Band. Toto Band. I gave Wade one, I'll give you one. Wade, everyone loves when I-- Don't know what to say anymore because I thought Bob lost. I think you got it. Don't know what to say anymore because I thought Bob lost. 11? He was doing 11? Oh, no. You got it. Wait, did I do nine, though? You did 10. You started with nine and you needed one more for 10. That was clutch, Wade. That point goes to you. Oh, I didn't even count the words. That just came out of my mouth and happened to work. All right, Lux on your side. You get the-- I'm on my way, Bob. I'm on my way. I'm on my way, Bob. I'm on my way. Everyone loves me point. You guys are doing amazingly. 30 minutes of heart racing. It's been like five minutes, buddy. It's not. It's not 30 minutes at all. It's been-- I know that this is probably stressful for you guys. It's very fun. As soon as it gets higher than five, panic starts to set in. It's funny. I'm struggling to count these. Oh, my God. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. At the same time, you guys are so fast. If that comes again, where it's like, I think we need to stop and make sure, I might just stop the timer so we can confirm if I do that. I don't know if I have that control. It's tough when it's getting to be like the, like I said, seven or plus. It's hard to count them while we're doing it live. I have a pause resume button, so I will pause it for things that I'm like, hold on, pause. I need to count that that way. It's more fair to the other person so that they can have time to actually get that underway for the next one. All right. All right. Bob, are you ready? Yes. Eenie. Meenie. Miney. Wait. Eenie. Meenie. Miney. Oh, no. Eenie. Meenie. Miney. Mo. You lose. Eenie. Meenie. Miney. Hey, Wade was here. Yes. Eenie. Meenie. Miney. Mo. Money. Mo. Problems. Right? So what next? Oh, you're on thin ice, man. You're on thin ice. Eenie. Meenie. Miney. Bob. Mo. Meenie. Meenie. Miney. Mo. Me. Bo. Oh, yeah. That's not it. How many was I supposed to do? You needed seven. I would have taken it. I would have taken it if you had just finished with one more word, you got up to six, I think, and then it was like. Die. Surrender. That was just nonsense words. That didn't. That's fair. That's fair. That's fair. I thought Wade was about to lose. I did, too. I got to stop giving up early. I also have no idea how to spell eenie, meenie, miney. E-e-n-i-e-m-e-e-n-i-e-m-e-i-n-i-e-m-o. Why did you sound like speak and spell? M-e-n-i-e. I was just enunciating so you could get all those cool letters I was giving you. Wade, are you ready? Oh, me? Yes. Take me out to the. Oh? Take me out to the. Ball game. Yeah. Take me out to the small circus tent. Take me out to the. Good side of town. Take me out to the. Ohio. No, wait. Maybe California. Take me out to the. Movies to go see. Hitch. No. No. I was six? Oh, man. If only I could count. Come on, man. Come on. Now. Movies to go see Hitch now. That was like iron lungs right there, man. All right. Go ahead. Go ahead. It's fine. Oh, sorry. Take me out to the. I'm still singing this song, I guess. Take me out to the. Showing of iron lung that's happening right now. That's what I thought. Oh, shit. Oh. Am I dead? No, sorry. I meant to hit pause. I hit stop. That's what I thought Oh shit, oh Am I dead? No, sorry I meant to hit pause, I hit stop I'm gonna put 30 seconds on the clock Does that sound fair? Yes I'm gonna be honest I was gonna do Iron Lung on my first one And then I bailed because I thought I had to do five And I was like, I didn't pace it out correctly Fuck No, it would have been perfect Alright, whose turn is it? I think me and I have to do nine. You went first. You would have to. Yeah, you have odd. So yes. All right. Are you ready? Sure. Take me out. What? Invalid. What the fuck? Invalid time selection. I don't remember that as part of the song. All right, here we go. Take me out to the. Wait, no invalid time selection, but I thought I did. Right. Fuck. That's 11. That's too many. Take me out to the. Blow me up. No, no, Bobby. You're good. Wait, go. Blow me up and I will tell you more secrets. I think that was ten. Fuck! Wait, pausing, pausing. Damn it, Stan. All right, you're still on. Why did I conjugate? Uh, uh, uh, uh, fucking take me out to the. Who? Wade, you! You need nine! Who, who, who, who, who, who, who? I'm an owl! Fucking kill me! Wait. I'm an owl. Fuck it. Kill me. Almost, if you just said who, who. If you just said who, who, I'm an owl. There's no recovery once I fuck up. My brain's just like, no, you failure, you're dead. Bob, you're up first. Are you ready? Yep. Your sentence in full is, stick your hands up. Now. Dance. Good. Stick your hands up. Now. Lick me. Stick your hands up. Now. Don't lick me! Stick your hands up. Now. Smell my big foot! One of you's evil, one of you's for good. Stick your hands up. Now. Smell his feet, not me. Stick your hands up. Now. Prepare me a delicious meal. Uh-oh. You need six. Quickly! All right, I'll take it. Bob, stick your hands up. Now. Put the money in the bag fast. Stick your hands up. Now. Toss me a coin for I am. I am a witcher! All right, sure. Stick your hands up. Now. Put your hands down. Now stick your left foot out. Yes, that's good. Stick your hands up. Now. Tell me a tale about your ancestors, my lovely friend. Oh, one too many! Oh, one too many! I did ten! You did eleven! Fuck! That's one more than ten. Less lovely friend! No, just friend! Boom! Oh, too bad. Oh my god. Okay, I forgot. Bob, you won "Take Me Out," right? Uh, yes. Wade sort of forfeit that one. Which one? The ball game one. Was that the "Hoo Hoo, I'm an Owl?" Yes! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Owl! No, guys, that was my best effort. Hoo hoo, hoo hoo, I'm an owl! Fucking kill me! All right, my brain might have panicked a little bit, okay? If you didn't swear so much, that would have been a great answer. I thought I would be given points for, like, bonus funny moments in there, but I have no time to even remember them. So, I got. So, it's just purely by rounds. This is a good game. I just need a name for it. I find that our limit is somewhere between eight and twelve syllables. It really breaks down there, it really breaks down. Eight to twelve words really falls apart. Okay, Wade, you're back up. Okay. Your sentence is, "Frankly, my dear, I quit." Good. "Frankly, my dear, I hate you." Frankly, my dear, I think you're great. Frankly, my dear, I. Just want some IHOP. Just want some, yeah. Frankly, my dear, I want to make some babies. Damn. Can't find my wallet, you seen? Say it nice. Frankly, my dear, I invested all of our money very poorly. That's six. Invested all of our money very poorly. All of our money? Okay, you're good. All of our money very poorly. You're good. Okay. Got it. You're good. I didn't hear the "of." Good. Okay. Don't think the Yankees can do it again this year. Ooh, was that one too many? That was one too many. I don't think the Yankees can do it again. Fuck. That's one too few. Frankly, my dear, I hate this game 'cause counting is so hard. What the fuck, man? That's too many. No, that was eight. I hate this game because counting is too hard? No! Oh, okay. Resuming, Kniver. Uh, uh, I can't count to the number seven or eight. Fuck, no. God, shit, damn it. Come on, you have time, you have time. Stink at games where you have to count. I don't even know what number you need anymore. He needs eight, he needs eight. You have time. I can't count to eight. Please help me. Yes, frankly, my dear, I don't need help counting to nine after Bob's turn. Shit, it's exploded. Fuck! Either that was the most genius play by Bob to drain the time perfectly. Nailed it. I was looking at Mark's eyes, reading the numbers in the reflection, just gauging it out so I knew Wade would lose as soon as I-- Man, that ice had to have been paper thin by the end of that. Hey, you didn't say you didn't get to try again. He just said it had to make sense. Oh, yeah, yeah, you just keep trying until, and usually that would mean that the timer would have more chance to blow up right then and there. Yeah, it's such a short timer, relatively speaking. I can't believe I survived that long on it. That was the long, it actually, that one started perfectly at one minute 30, so that was the longest round we've had so far. Used it perfectly. Wade, if you think it's cheating, I will not say you still have time. Oh, no, I don't care, that's fine. Okay, cool. All right, cool. Oh, man, all this counting is really great for this headache. Like, man, why's my head hurt so bad? Oh, yeah, it hasn't stopped. Take some Advil or something? I don't know, what are you doing? I took Excedrin, I took the big boy pills. You ready? Yes. Here we go. Don't move, it's there. Don't move, it's my ass. Don't move, it's gonna see us. Don't move, it's too small to notice. Don't move, it's vision is based on movement. Yes, don't move. Don't move, it's a delicious tray of dark chocolates. Oh, don't move, it's time for our hourly standstill. Is standstill two words? Hold on, let's confer. I was treating it as two words. I don't know if that's accurate. I also thought two words. In that context, one word. I paused it, I'm resuming it right now. Time for our hourly standstill moment. Oh, did you get that in? It was pretty cool. Close. I couldn't tell you if I beat it or not. I feel like he held the letter T, so he got the words out, but like, wait, I'll leave it up to you. I know how to figure this out. I'll flip a coin. All right, sure. Bob, you want heads or tails? I'll let you call it. Heads. I faked out the universe. Oh! Oh! That's good for you. Right? I win? You did win that one. Yeah. By the skin of your skin. Let's see. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Skin of your hand. Yeah, because that was so close. It's hard for me to even notice. No. Yeah, because I don't know what was video lag. I don't know what was just there. It was really down to the wire. I don't know if I just didn't process the alarm until after the sentence or like, because it was right there at the end of the word moment. Then sometimes you make great ones. Like protecting your home in auto with Progressive. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company affiliates and other insurers not available in all states. The Lemonati has spent decades keeping lemon on top and lime in the shadows. Their lemon agenda has infiltrated everything, even our music. That hit song named after the color of lemons? Not a coincidence. Big Lemon has been pulling strings in the industry for years. Think about it. But now, 7UP is fighting back with their new lime lemon soda. Now lime comes first. 7UP. Flip the sip. I actually want to do one more, but I'll give you a choice from what I have. You said there was a song. Is it the song? No, the other song was Take Me Out to the Ballgame. I can get another song if you guys have another one that you want. Well, if you had one you wanted, that's fine. I just, I like the song ones too. Those are funny. Cause I have two's a company, but three's blank. I'd buy that for a blank. Officer, you have no evidence that I, some of these are longer. I was going for short ones and I got like, cut, cut. I need more blank, babe, you forgot your, those are the options of what we can go with. If you want those or I can come up with another song. You can do a song. I think song sounds fun. All right, let me get it. What's a, what's a little like, what's a lullaby? What's a song? Let me, let me look up. How about Rockabye Bobby? No, no. Just a small town girl. Everybody dance. Can't do that voice. I just love like, we made it to nine. Everybody dance. Soon, but not right now. Cause it's not time for dancing on the floor right now. All right, we can do that one if you want. Oh fuck, no, that was, that was my only one. Are you boys ready? Who's going first? you do i get to sing this every time it's up to you man you're the host god fuck all right oh fuck man all right hold on a second i'm not gonna do that no i can't do that every time all right no fuck oh god not now fuck god where's the blank hold on everybody it's not so bad when i just don't go into it everybody Everybody dance This is the best Right now Oh god It's hard when you don't sing the first part To continue the song in that pitch This is the best trap we've ever laid for the host He heard that and was like Oh that would be funny Okay I'm gonna resume Bob you got that one So it's gonna be you Wade You need three Yeah Fuck you guys I'm gonna pee my pants Holy fuck Oh man Everybody dance In a moment Everybody dance However you want Dude Everybody dance Right now or else Something Everybody dance Whenever you want to I Guess Yes okay Everybody dance Right now or else Lots What did you say What Right now or I don't fucking remember How do you not remember Right now or else It's me I paused it Right now or else I'll cry lots That would be seven I think Yeah I got seven Right now or else I'll cry lots Bob Oh fuck me man Everybody dance To the song we're playing right now for you Oh no one too many one too many For the song that we're playing right now For the song we're playing That we're playing or That we're playing right now We're playing right now Yes okay Everybody dance Sorry hold on Everybody dance Quickly and quietly or else I'll miss your dance What the fuck Quickly and quietly or else I'll miss your dance Yes Everybody dance Appropriately but cool But not too cool Or I'll feel bad What? It was at one second hold on Appropriately but cool But not too cool Or I'll feel bad Oh wait is that eleven? Oh no You have a second to do it Okay I can do this I can do this Okay I'll cue you in It's like just like They do in the show business Alright everybody dance Appropriately but cool But not too cool Or I'll feel bad Everybody dance Quickly and quietly or else I'll miss your dance What the fuck Sorry Just a repeated explosion I cut out one word I cut out else Then if you did that Then that did get in there I didn't even listen to the words I just was like There was the alarm And then you got it out That one wasn't even close You just did it I was ready I paused and unpaused a lot But I think it was fair between the both of you Who I paused and unpaused for That was clutch Again I did say what the last second was But so whether or not that was true No that's fine I told you that was fine Wait was that still 11 though? I don't know Because I don't know exactly what you said Appropriately but cool But not too cool Or I'll feel bad So it was 12 before Shit Shit That was an impressive failure We'll confirm We'll confirm The editors will confirm We'll make that a conditional But if that's what you said And I do remember you saying appropriately at the beginning again Then that would go to Wade By the skin of everyone's teeth And I will never sing again That was impressive Nonetheless You got even more words in one second It was very very good You know if it comes down to a timer At the end of the fourth quarter I'm giving Bob the ball As long as the ball is talking And I know what I'm supposed to say It's guaranteed Alright Wade Do you remember? No Are you sure? Are you sure? Cause what you need to remember Seems doable Yeah but I I remembered I needed to tell you that I remembered that I forgot Can you give me any detail about the thing? Was it story related or podcast related? Did I phone a friend? No Alright I think that's I'll give you 10 seconds War me when I get to one 5 4 5 3 2 Friends! Friends! I forgot friends story Technically Is that specific enough for you Mark? I was hoping you would say something along the lines of That you It was like This girl didn't know that you had a crush on her That was the only nugget that came out of that thing But You did remember that you were told a story That we're friends Bob do you think that's fair? I mean I remembered What you were saying As if he remembered That he needed to remember something Then that would be adequate That's what I thought If I'm being completely honest And above board He did remember something Alright then we're confirming that conditional point Wade Good job Your memory's improving I got a tear in my eye man I was trying so hard to think I think I burst a tear duct Can you do that? I don't think so But that's pretty cool Alright The point stand is follows Bob You have The concerned point The first small talk point Easy workouts You have a lie point So that is conditional You got big boy undies And I also tied that in because I mean it might be a spoiler But in Dungeon Crawler Carl In the first book There's a thing about big boy undies That's pretty early on yeah Yeah it made me laugh Okay you won the O Canada round You got take me out to the Stick your hands up Don't move So you are going in with eight points Wade You got the concerned point You got the segue point Gravy part two You did remember Do your penthouse forum round Everyone loves when I Eenie meenie Miney And then everybody dance You have eight To Bob's eight It is tied But Bob does have a lie point So there is a conditional there And I already know What my contribution to the wheel was going to be Which is whoever mentions my height The most loses a point Who did that this episode? Who would have did that? That's okay We know our additions never show up In the same episode That they're headed I know right Okay for lie points doubled Does that mean they still have to become absolute? Or does that mean they become absolute And are just doubled? There can be a negative lie point That was another thing Is like a lie point can be negative Times two is unaffiliated with the absolute Those are different But I think if it lands on any lie point spot Lie points become valid Yeah they come into play right? Yes yeah I feel like that makes sense I think there's a basic lie points are valid Then there's a lie points are absolute To obfuscate the negative lie points And then there's a negative lie points And then there's that one Which is another one But any lie points where I think Activates the lie points Alright let's do it Even Even Yay Two Alright Oh yeah Well good thing it's low right? Good thing It's probably fine Spade number one Loudest Loudest Interesting You both had times where you were shouting I will say though When Wade was shouting He might have been slightly louder Especially that I will fucking kill me Yeah that might have been kind of loud Was that louder than the I don't think that I did that loud Those were both you I thought we both did that No no no I think Mark had me crying dude Oh look it wasn't that bad No it was just It was that funny No it was bad it was funny Okay alright just spin the wheel again I liked your joke You're singing Mark I thought it brought a sense of levity And fun to the episode What the fuck No The host wins Holy shit I forgot that was even a thing I forgot that was on there When is the last time I won man The one man show I guess But holy fuck I was like I got this in the bag It's been like five episodes Since you won Yeah Fuck Well fuck Alright I'll take it You both get to say a loser speech That's unprecedented isn't it I don't think we've landed on that before Yeah Yeah that's never happened no I don't know when that was added to the wheel But man I don't remember when that was added That's an old old one Holy shit wow That's crazy You don't think it was one of the OGs Like the original It's possible Because that's definitely the kind of thing Where it was like Oh how do we populate this Okay Like point for Wade Host wins Yeah yeah yeah We're gonna go Loser speech in order of Who had the most points at the end anyway So Wade you go first With nine Whatever honor that means to you That's what you get You know I feel like the biggest loser Because after getting the previous loud point And being up by a point I was like Feeling pretty good about my chances And been on a bit of a losing streak And I really thought I'd turned it around And yet where did that lead me Back to the bottom Okay Well very well spoken Bob being in second place maybe you are the biggest loser. I don't know depends on your perspective as the loserest loser of the group I can say that while it stings to be down here and to technically be behind Wade It feels good knowing at least Wade didn't win in that we can all find some solace I definitely find it because I have not had many wins I like I was had a huge win streak at the beginning of the season and then you know it kind of fell away I guess this is my winner speech, but you know hey I'm climbing back because the season is coming to a close, and I really would like to win a season So hey, it's another one for me I didn't do much of anything in this episode and we can all forget that that singing it in no way Contributed to me winning or losing this episode, but hey I win so you get to see this guy host another episode Will it be the perfectest crime? No Almost certainly not but you never know you Never know so thank you everybody so much for this. This is amazing I will host next episode, but you can know that I will host the next episode by following the podcast You can also go to distractible shop for all of our beautiful merch that you can find on that website You can find Bob at my skins That's your last name my skirt Close enough find me at Barnes or yeah, he Barnes and or minion 777 I'm Markiplier and thank you for listening and/or watching to this podcast Unprecedented events happen every week here unless they are completely precedented because we forgot we did that episode That's so true, it isn't it's true podcast out Watch new episodes on Spotify Life is all about making decisions Sometimes you make questionable ones like buying a new TV That's too big for the wall because the electronics store employee was a little too good at their job Then sometimes you make great ones like protecting your home and auto with progressive you get customized coverage options So you can be sure you have the right coverage get your quote today at progressive comm Progressive casualty insurance company affiliates and other insurers not available in all states The secret Society of semi-homemade listen up Sam's Club has pre-made dishes for a Thanksgiving feast That's ready in two hours all while tasting suspiciously homemade Come join us Sam's Club individual oven times may vary