Mark's Big Dangerous Word Game

Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to the Structural, the Sepsil. Melodramatic Mark kicks off with coming up behinds, then initiates a terminal hot potato jewel. Bullshit-ing Bob pounds hard, upgrades James's attire, advocates Gordon Pussy, but misses iron lung. Go watch it, wiggly-weight admits, then displays amnesia, mentions Mark, miniskoo main, and struggles with syntax, from podcast longevity to Martha Wash. It's time for Mark's big dangerous word game. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted, and enjoy the show. Hello, and welcome to Distractable, the podcast that is definitely not gonna end anytime soon. So don't you worry about that, we're gonna be here for a while, don't listen to the rumors, we are here for you, for as long as we need to. And you know what else is probably gonna be here, or at least one of them, Bob and Wade. I'm one of them. There was a lot of things said there that were slightly concerning. Well, what was concerning? He said, don't listen to the rumors. He don't listen to the rumors. If it makes you feel any better, I'll give you both some concerned points. Not that that makes them valid or anything, just because I'm assigning a point to it, doesn't mean that your concerns are validated. I'm just doing this because. That's a good reason to do stuff. Anyway, this is the game show, and yes, it's a game show because points and rewards are offered during every single one of these episodes, or at least we'll say that to get our ratings up. And I'm your host, Markiplier, multi-hyphenated, talented, weekend losing director, along with an Emmy losing director. Whatever I do, I'll always get second place. There's no question about that. Oh, he's coming up right behind the first place finisher. That's a really good place, the best pace, even depending on how you think about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. First is the worst. Second is the best I've heard. These are all good sayings, and wait, you just earned yourself a point. Thank you. But I heard it too. I'll tell you why later. But anyway, what we do here first, as we've done every episode since the dawn of time, is talk about our lives because we're very conceded like that. And we want to we think that our lives are interesting enough to share with you, and you want to listen to it. So that's exactly what we're going to do. Who wants to go first? Me. I actually heard the same time who said that first. Me. That time Bob was slightly ahead. I'll give you one more chance, one more chance. Me. So slow. What Bob got there. I was trying to stick it up. Yeah, you get the first point there. All right. Okay. I wanted to tie it up to be tied with Bob. You could never tie with me. Bob, what's your life? My life is pretty good. The walk in 365 miles is going well, still on pace through today. And I think I'm ahead a couple of miles. It's good. It's good. It's not getting as easy or as I would have hoped, but also I'm going to start turning up the speed a little bit. So it's going to get harder, but then it's going to get way easier, really fast because that's how exercising works. I try hard like twice, and then it's all easy. So I'm looking forward to it. I think I think that is actually how it works. Yes. Okay. Soundboard, Wade. Yes. I thought I had another thing. And we pass it away. Dang it. Almost out of there. Almost at it. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome back, everyone. Not going to lie. After one of the recent episodes we did, Bob was talking about some good old sausage gravy. I have convinced my family that we were getting it together. And they are making me some gravy. And I can't wait. That's great. Man, great. This I remember you talking about some sausage gravy. Yeah. Bob talked about it. And I was like, you guys won't believe it. Bob brought up on the podcast. Some good old fashioned sausage gravy. You guys should totally make someone invite me over. You're not interested in making it and learning about that or participating in that. Oh, no, no, nothing's quite like having some good old mom made food. It's fun to learn new skills. It's pretty fun. It's pretty fulfilling, you know. Oh, you're right. No interest whatsoever. Okay, man. Now we should. We could. But no, it was actually a coincidence. I'm totally lying. Damn it. Does it make it a lie point? Wait, what? My family was just out of the blue. It was like, Hey, we're going to make this and they invited us over. Oh, okay. So there is gravy. There is gravy. Just I didn't initiate it. I was just trying to, you know, make it look like I did it. The pretext is a lie. But the story is true. Stories true. Just like all stories is a little bit of fluff, a little bit of filler and a lot of gravy. Like all stories. My stories are all 100% true. I had to don't manifest that for me. I've never exaggerated anything ever in a story. I have told it on this podcast. Listen, Bob. What? Is that a lie? It's clearly not a lie. Because I said it was true. Is that a lie? No. Ask me again. Is that a lie? Is that a lie? Yes. Lie point. I continue to worry about my memory. That's the other thing. My memory is so bad. Apparently, I was talking to Pat and to an JP recently over record videos within the YouTube channel. They were like, Oh, man, this thing. Remember this big story we talked about like two weeks ago? Well, there's an update. I was like, what big story was I there? And like they kept dropping hints as to what it was about. And I was like, zero recollection. None. What are you guys sure I was there? And then they sent like a long paragraph of retelling the whole story. I was like, Oh, yeah, that. It took retelling the entire story for me to remember them telling me the story. I don't know if that's remembering. I think that's just learning. But after I learned it, I remembered learning it before. It was like deja vu. Wait, so it was a story that you've heard before, but they didn't know that you heard it before? No, they knew I had. I had forgotten. It wasn't even a story. It was like a real life event that was like a big deal. Like, yeah, remember this thing? And I was like, Nope, he doesn't remember. I actually don't know. No, you can't. That's the bit. You can't. The big can't be real. No, it kind of. That's the thing that kind of is like, it was one of those stories about like not picking up the hints that someone was into you. Is that a thing you deal with on a regular basis? I guess you wouldn't know, would you? I hope my wife's into me with the record, some of our interactions and see if someone, some expert company figured out. You should covertly record some of your interactions and then post them anonymously online. Then you can see what she really thinks. And nothing else bad will come from that. Wait, I'm going to tell you this right now because this is part of it. I've written a conditional thing down at the end of this episode. I'm going to ask you if you remember even the thing that this point is related to. You don't have to remember the story. He's not gonna. But if you remember, I'll give you this point. Okay. I got this in the bag. It's weird to like, I can recollect an epic rap battle of history full lyrics. I can picture the whole thing, but I've not heard in like five years. And then something important from like a week ago gets brought up. And I'm like, I have no idea who that is. It's like, that's your relative. Oh, have I ever met them only your whole life? I'm exaggerating slightly, but like there have been moments where like, I don't know if I'm just that spacey or if my hard drives are so full of crap that like important stuff's getting deleted. But I think that's how it works. The memory issues have been a little scary. Not going to lie. They've been a little scary. Simulations breaking down. We're going to be careful, boys. All right. I won't, but yeah, what can you do? Unplugged me so I could be the bald guy that wants the steak. Wait, no, you're already in. Can we talk about that last time? I remember something. That's a callback. So I'm gonna remember that you have one callback, but you're already in the simulation and you are the bald guy and you do love steak. I have a steak. Yeah, actually, you could order a steak right now. You could go to the grocery store, get a steak. Nothing sounds good. But it's tender. Juicy. I know it's not the Lord of the Rings scene with the tomatoes, but I imagine I'm re-imagining that scene where he's like, I know the steak is tender. Juicy. That's seen whizzles its way into so many things in my life. There's anything even remotely similar to that guy eating my brain is like, you remember that scene? Toe-me-toes. Yeah, yeah. Toe-me-toes. Yeah. Yeah. Um-hmm. Toe-me-toes. Boil a mashem sticking in a pesquetti. Anything else? Did we do like, I was trying to think of a way to like, all right, I get what you go for. And it was so funny. We're just gonna skip right past it. I knew that they were gonna add post laughter like crowd laughter. So I was waiting for that to die down. That's what that was. Do we do that? Do we have laugh tracks? Oh yeah. The editors prop us up a lot. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Stractable was filmed in front of the live studio. Oh, that's a lie. I could tell lies. No, I'm not gonna do that. I said, if I said a lot, because that's just a joke, and jokes are mostly untrue, but like, it has to be an actual lie. A lie with intention, maybe. Well, I mean, I'm just gonna say that right now, but we can codify it in the Constitution later. So if you misremember something, are you lying? Even if it's unintentional? Or are you joking? I don't think that misremembering can count as lying. A lie has to have intent, right? Yeah. A lie means that you know it's not true. Yeah. You're acknowledging truth. You're just choosing to say the opposite. So if you're delusional, your delusions aren't lies. You're bullshitting even if they're untrue. Yeah. It makes me want to read some philosophy papers. Bobby, you didn't get much time for small talk. Do you have anything else before we move on? I really. actually don't have a whole lot new. Did I have, I told you guys, James is wearing big boy underpants these days. That's cool. That's huge. He's like, he did it. He's potty trained. He's like a whole person now. Not that he wasn't a whole person before, but him standing up and just being like, I got a pee is hilarious because it's just his, I don't know. Is his grip strength growing exponentially with his size? Kind of. He's terrifyingly strong. He could probably beat me up. If he caught me off guard. If he got the first shot in and he caught me at the right moment, he could probably take me already. Just a little sure you can write to your nuts. Just how tall is he now? Somewhere in the neighborhood of 40 inches. How many feets is that? Three three and a half. Three and a half feet. I'm like that. Careful, Mark. He's catching up. Come on, man. Come on, man. Come on, man. Can I get a point for that? I'm going to put on the wheel pramptively. Mentioned Mark's height the most. I'm winning. Wait, is that good? Or do you lose a point for that one? We don't have many minus points. So let's make that a minus. That'll be a minus. I like when our heights are compared. Huh? I don't know. Just laugh. No one's laughing. Editors, no, please take the studio out of here. Boom and guam. This episode is brought to you by T-Mobile 5G Home Internet. You already know that T-Mobile 5G Home Internet is ridiculously easy to set up, with a price that doesn't feel like you're getting scammed every month, but here's something new worth noting. T-Mobile now is the fastest 5G Home Internet according to the experts at UCLUS speed test. No, seriously. Their 5G Home Internet speeds are officially the fastest, which means that when you're downloading all your movies that aren't mine, every single one except for mine, you'll get them at the fastest speeds possible, along with all your video calls and uploading files and maybe even streaming something in the background, you know. And yeah, it is still a great value. Back by a 5-year price guarantee, so your build doesn't slowly creep up when you're not paying attention, so if you want the fastest 5G Home Internet, with a simple setup and savings that actually stick head over to T-Mobile.com/HomeInternet to check availability today. Price guarantee exclusions like taxes and fees apply fastest based on UCLUS speed test intelligence data a second half 2025. Alright, it's reserved. Who's ready for? I don't know what to name this game! Just call it the perfectest crime no matter what it actually is. No, no, it's not that. It's not that. Wait, you got a segue point to go into this because you said something that was kind of like what the game is going to be. Oh hell yeah, what was that? You took a phrase and you changed the ending of it, right? That's kind of what this is. We're playing a mixture of Hot Potato with a grenade and sentence get longer and it's funny with a grenade with a grenade. Okay, I have to explain this fully so that we all are on the same page. I have my random timer. It's set from 30 seconds to 90 seconds so it'll average out to be about a minute but it could be anywhere in there. When the timer goes off, you guys are taking turns doing the game. When the timer goes off, whoever's holding the grenade, boom, dead, gone, obliterated, destroyed. The other person gets point. Easy, simple. I feel like we did the opposite and it worked out great for Bob and I have a bad feeling. Somehow this is also going to work out great for Bob and I'm already mad about it. No, if we do the opposite and I did well, we're doing the opposite of that. Now you'll do well because that's the opposite. You'd think that logically but somehow. I've got some extra structure here for this, right? So it's not going to be completely open ended or it is going to be open ended but it starts with a base, right? So for example, my favorite color is blank. That'll be whoever's going first. They're prompt and they have one word for the first sentence. Now where it gets complicated is the other person then has to make that two words and you could just string it together like a blue baby blue. But when you get to three, you have to keep going and the sentence still has to be a complete sentence with non gibberish words and no repeating words. You can't do very, very blue. You can't do baby, baby blue. Do we have to keep what we're given and build an ad to it? No, no, no. You can do whatever you want. You just need to keep adding another total list. So you get the same beginning of it. This way you don't have to continue because it wouldn't make any sense if they said, blue. So we only add to the end. Yeah. You have to add to the end where the blank is. You both are adding at the same spot and you're both starting over. So when I get to, let's say Bob's going first, I would say my favorite color is and then you would say the rest and then I would go to Wade and he would say my favorite color is or it could do it differently and you start the sentence. You guys say it and otherwise not whatever feels out. I'll do it first, just for the first round. We'll feel how that feels and if you guys are comfortable, you can just like take out, take the rest of it away and say the sentence back and forth. And that way it's just you guys and I'll just play judge making sure that no one's cheating. No one's doing illogical sentences and no one's repeating what the other person said to specifically. I'm going to be Lucy Goosey about that one. You can definitely build off of each other. But if you say baby blue and then like kind of baby blue, I'm going to be like in your first warning and then you know, so the variety stays there. But I'll play it, Lucy. Yeah, fuck the word kind of kind is for idiots. Okay, does this all make sense? I think it does. Yeah, I'm going to break all the rules, but I'm excited for it. I didn't mean to sound so shocked, but I think I think it does. Yeah, no, it's a little complicated because there's a few more rules, but I think that it should work. All right, head for Wade. Tales for Bob. Cast bald. Yeah, and he goes first. All right, bald, bald, bald, bald. When I give you the prompt, as soon as I say what the sentence is, I'll probably say it again, just so you really get it. Well, actually, no, I won't say it again, because I'm going to say it again when I give it to Bob. And then I'll I'll say it first to be each of you this time. One word, then two more words after my prompt, then three, then four, then five, then six, whoever is a stuck on their turn by the time the time goes off and the grenade explodes loses. So I say, I'm already thinking of my victory speech. I'm pretty excited about this one. I'm already worried. Whenever he said favorite color, my first thought was fish. So I'm excited. Okay, good, okay, good. I would count that for the first, but then you get a warning. I would be like, okay, but good. This is the color. Tiber wasn't on. That was that was outside the bounds. Yeah, yeah, this is not we're not doing favorite color. That was throw away example. Oh, good. I was prepared for it. Let's do something else. Are you thinking nothing but colors? I was trying. Ah, my favorite improv game. Think about this sentence for five minutes and then let's make it. Let's do one of those things you planned. We can start with that if you want to. No, no, no, no. I'm having a slow brain day. It'll be much funnier if I don't know the prompt. So wait, you're prompt. Give me liberty or give me. All right. Why not start? No, that's just like you're just going to say. You said all right. Like that was the answer. Oh, no, no. All right. So give me liberty. Give me all right. All right, Bob. I thought we'd say the whole thing. Give me liberty or give me all right. Wait. Oh, wait, we're not supposed to do that. No, guys. I remember right. This will be a warm up around. Yeah. Wait. Give me liberty or give me the desk penalty. Bob. Give me liberty or give me three golden cat babies. I think you got it. Yeah, Victor's speech coming in hot. All right. Okay. I knew we needed a test around. We're going to wash our hands of that one. What I'm going to do to help you out instead of just going, Bob, I'm going to say the sentence. And then all you need to worry about is saying the last words. So I'll be your mad lib book. You are the just the blank. We'll try that and feel that out. Okay. Yeah. We don't get to set the pace. Mark sets the pace. We just have to keep going. All right. Very explicitly, not supposed to build off each other. I don't know. Your instincts are so strong. Hey, I'm not going to stop you if you do. If it makes sense, I'd go for it, man. But at the end of the day, so long as a sentence makes sense, that's all we're going for. I think we're just used to that style where we build off of each other. No, this is new. This is fresh. We just have to adapt. Wait. I'm going to let you go first. Again, there were no points awarded in that last one. All right. Dear penthouse forum. I Bob dear penthouse forum. I fucked with dear penthouse forum. What up dog Bob dear penthouse forum. She finally said yes. That's great. Wait. I really thought I could. Bob. Sometimes I wonder why she left. How does I wonder why she left? Yes. Wait. I couldn't get it in there. Right. I had sex with a really hot lady. I don't even know why I'm writing. That's only eight. That's only eight. Yeah, you need nine. I do not even know why I am writing. Wait. Let's let's do a check. You did it. You shut the grenade and Bob in the last second. Alright, wait! Congratulations! You got dear penthouse forum point. Man, I'm better with words than him at counting I've learned. I'm cool with reading the prompts to you. I like you guys just focusing on just the sentences because it makes it easier to count. Yeah, I think it's fine like that. Yeah, okay, so I'll just keep doing that. Bob, are you ready? Mm-hmm. Oh, Canada, hour. Country. [laughing] Oh, Canada, hour. Hot mama. And native land. [laughing] Oh, yeah. Oh, Canada, hour. Big spoon, little spoon. [laughing] What? Hey, look, I'm going to take hour and native land. I'm going to take big spoon, little spoon. Alright, alright, alright. Oh, Canada, hour. Place with lots of bears. [laughing] Oh, Canada. Hour. Place that's way too big, I-- [laughing] Tracking. [laughing] Say that again. Just turn it into an A and you've got it instead of I. [laughing] Yeah, A-Y-E-I. [laughing] Hurry, say it. I-A. Say that's that whole thing. Wait. Oh. No, don't, take your time. The place that's too big for A. What the fuck, man? He doesn't remember what he said. Bumming mom. He don't remember what he just said. No, I surprised him. I don't remember. [laughing] Wait an hour, this. I think I was at a distinct advantage. Would Wade had to remember words previously. [laughing] I was right moving on to eat. Yeah, you were very close. If you had said A instead of I, I would have-- I would have given that to you. Oh, damn the vowels. That was very good. Wait, your sentence is, "Everybody loves when I dance. Bob, everyone loves when I get down. Wade, everyone loves when I have bald head. Everyone loves when I pull up my pants. [laughing] Everyone loves when I smooch twice then run away. Every move loves when I bring ice cream to the party. Yes, that's good. Wade, everyone loves when I break it down philosophically at the house. Wait, make it down philosophically at the house. Yes, Bob, everyone loves when I get lost, but then remember where I'm going. Good. Wade, everyone loves when I totally don't know where I am or what doing. [laughing] I'll let that slide, but you're in the nice. Bob, everyone loves when I go to Africa then play that song by Toto. Toto, go to Africa then play that song by Toto. Oh, Toto's one word. Toto, band. [laughing] I give Wade one, I'll give you one. Wade, everyone loves when I don't know what to say anymore because I thought Bob lost. I think he got it. Don't know what to say anymore because I thought Bob lost. Eleven, he was doing eleven. Oh no. You got it. Wait, did I do nine though? You did 10. You started with nine and you needed one more for 10. That was clutch, Wade. That point goes to you. I didn't even count the words. That just came out of my mouth and happened to work. All right, Lux on your side. You get the, uh, everyone loves me point. You guys are doing amazingly. 30 minutes of heart racing. It's been like five minutes, buddy. [laughing] That's not 30 minutes at all. It's been. I know that this is probably stressful. You guys, it's very fun. As soon as it gets higher than five, panic starts to set in. It's funny. I'm struggling to count these at the same time because they're so fast. If that comes again where it's, it's like, I think we need to stop and make sure I might just stop the timer so we can confirm if I do that. I don't know if I have that control. It's tough when it's getting to be like the, like I said, seven or plus. It's hard to count them while we're doing it live. I have a pause resume button, so I will pause it for things that I'm like, hold on, pause. I need to count that that way. It's more fair to the other person so that they can have time to actually get that underway for the next one. So, Bob, are you ready? Yes. Any, me, me, me, me, me, wait. [laughing] Any, me, me, me, me, me. Oh, no. Any, me, me, me, me. Mo, you lose. Hey, wait was here. Yes. Any, me, me, me, me. Mo, money, mo, problems, right? Yep. Any, me, me, me, me. I really don't know what next. Oh, you're a thin ice man, you're a thin ice. Any, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. Bo. Bo. Yeah, that's not it. How many was I supposed to do? [laughing] You needed seven. Ah. I would have taken it if you had just finished with one more word, you got up to six, I think. And then it was like, die, surrender. That was just nonsense where it's that didn't. That's fair, that's fair, that's fair. I thought Wade was about to lose. I did too. I gotta stop giving up early. I also have no idea how to spell any, me, me, me, me, me. E-E-N-I-E, M-E-E-N-I-E, M-E-I-N-I-E, M-E-I-N-I-E, M-O. So, why did you sound like speaking spell? M-E-N-I-E. I was just enunciating so you could get all those cool letters I was giving you. Wade, are you ready? Oh me, yes. Take me out to the- [ding] [screaming] Oh! Take me out to the- [laughing] Ball game. [screaming] Take me out to the small circus tent. Take me out to the- Good side of town. [laughing] Take me out to the Ohio. No way, maybe California. [laughing] Take me out to the- Movies to go see- Hitch. No! Oh, with six? Oh, man, if only I could count. Come on, man! Come on! Well, now. Go to movies to go see Hitch now. I was like, iron lungs right there, man. [laughing] Go ahead, it's fine. Oh, sorry. Take me out to the- I'm still singing this song, I guess. Take me out to the- Showing of iron lung that's happening right now. Yeah, that's what I thought. Oh shit, oh. Am I dead? No, sorry. I meant to hit pause, I hit stop. I'm gonna put 30 seconds on the clock. [laughing] That's unfair. Yes. I'm gonna be honest. I was gonna do iron lung on my first one, and then I bailed 'cause I thought I had to do five, and I was like, I didn't face it out correctly, fuck! [laughing] No, it would've been perfect. All right, whose turn is it? I think me and I have to do nine. You went first, you would have to. Yeah, you have odd, so yes. All right, are you ready? Sure. Take me out to- What? We invalid- What the fuck? Invalid time selection. I don't remember that as part of the song. [laughing] All right, here we go. Take me out to the- We know invalid time selection, but I thought I did it, right? Fuck, that's 11. That's too many. Take me out to the- Blow me up! No, no, Bob, you're good. Then wake up! Blow me up, and I will tell you more secrets. I think that was ten- Fuck! Wait, pausing? Pausing? Dammit, Stan. All right, you're still on. Why did I conjugate? Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, fuck, take me out to the- Oh! Wait, you! You need nine! Oh! I'm an owl! I'm an owl! [laughing] Wait. [laughing] Ooh, I'm an owl, fuck it. Kill me. Almost if you just said who. If you just said who. I'm an owl. There's no recovery once I fuck up. My brain's just like, "No, you failure, you're dead." Bob, you're up first. Are you ready? Yep. Your sentence in full is Stick your hands up. Now. Dance. Good. Stick your hands up. Now. lick me. Stick your hands up. Now. Don't lick me. [laughing] Stick your hands up. Now. Smell my big foot. [laughing] When you use evil, one of you's for good. Stick your hands up. Now. I smell his feet. Not me. Stick your hands up. Now. Prepare me. Delicious meal. Uh-oh. You need six. Quickly. All right, I'll take it. Bob, take your hands up. Put the money in the bag. Fast! Now. Toss me a coin for I am Witcher. [laughing] All right, sure. Stick your hands up. Now. Put your hands down. Now stick your left foot out. Yes, that's good. Stick your hands up. Now. Tell me a tale about your ancestors, my lovely friend. No, I won't do many. I won't do many. I do ten. You did eleven. Fuck! [laughing] That's one more than ten. Let's lovely friend. No, just friend. Boom. Oh, too bad. Oh my god. Okay, I forgot. Bob, you won't take me out, right? Uh, yes. Wait, sort of, forfeit that one. Which one? The ball game one. Is that the who, who, who, have an owl? Yes. [laughing] Oh. No, that's my best effort. Who, who, who, who, have an owl? Fucking people. - Kill me! (laughing) - All right, my brain might have panicked a little bit, okay? - If you didn't swear so much, that would have been a great answer. - I thought I would be given points for like bonus funny moments in there, but I have no time to even remember them, so I got. So it's just purely by rounds. - This is a good game. - I just need a name for it. - I find that our limit is somewhere between eight and 12 syllables, it really breaks down there. It really breaks down. - Eight and 12 words really falls apart. - Okay, wait, you're back up. Okay, your sentence is, "Frankly, my dear, I quit. Good, frankly, my dear, I hate you. - Frankly, my dear, I think you're great. Frankly, my dear, I. - Just want some eye hop. (laughing) - Just want some, yeah, frankly, my dear, I want to make some babies, damn, frankly, my dear, I can't find my wallet. - Have you seen? (laughing) - It's a nice, frankly, my dear, I invested all of our money very poorly. - E, that's six. - Invested all of our money very poorly. - All of our money? - Okay, you're good. - All of our money, very poorly. - You're good, okay, got, you're good. I didn't hear the oven. Good, okay, frankly, my dear, I. - Don't think the Yankees can do it again this year. - Ooh, is that one too many? - That was one too many. I don't think the Yankees can do it again. - Fuck, that's one too few. - Frankly, my dear, I hate this game, 'cause counting is so hard. - What the fuck, man, that's too many. - No, that was eight. - I hate this game because counting is too hard. - No! - Oh, okay, resuming clever. - Uh, I can't count to the number seven or eight, fuck now. - Oh, shit, dammit, come on, you have time, you have time. - Stink at games where you have to count. (laughing) - I don't even know what number you need anymore. Is these eight, he needs eight. You have time. - I can't count to eight, please help me. - Yes, frankly, my dear, I don't need help counting to nine after Bob's turn. - It's exploding. (laughing) - Either that was the most genius played by Bob to drain the time perfectly. - Nailed it, I was looking at Mark's eyes, reading the numbers in the reflection, who would just diggaging it out so I knew Wade would lose as soon as I-- - Man, that ice had to have been paper thinned by the end of that. - Hey, he didn't say you didn't get to try again, he just said that to make sense. - Uh, yeah, yeah, you just keep trying until, and usually that would mean the timer would have more chance to blow up the right then and there. - Yeah, it's such a short timer relatively speaking. I can't believe I survived that long on it. - That was the long, it actually, that one started perfectly at one minute 30, so that was the longest round we've had so far. - Use it perfectly. - Wade, if you think it's cheating, I will not say you still have time. - Oh, no, I don't care, that's fine. - Okay, cool. - All right, cool. - Oh, man, all this counting is really great for this headache, come on. (laughing) I was like, man, why is my head hurt so bad? Oh yeah, it hasn't stopped. - Takes a mad bill or something? I don't know what he got, what he doing. - I took a seder and I took the big boy pills. You ready? - Yes. - Here we go. - Don't move, it's there. - Don't move, it's my ass. - Don't move, it's gonna see us. - Don't move, it's too small to notice. - Don't move, it's. - Vision is based on movement. - Yeah, it's don't move, it's. - A delicious tray of dark chocolates. - Oh, don't move, it's. - Time for our hourly standstill. - Is standstill two words? - Is standstill two word hold on? - Let's confer. - I was treating it as two words, I don't know if that's accurate. - I also thought two words. - In that context, one word. I paused it, I'm resuming it right now. - Time for our hourly standstill moment. - Oh, did you get that in? - It was pretty close, I couldn't tell you if I beat it or not. - I feel like he held the letter T. So he got the words out, but wait, I'll leave it up to you. I know how to figure this out. I'll flip a coin. - All right, I'm sure Bob, you want heads or tails, I'll let you call it. - Shhh, heads. I faked out the universe. - Oh! - Oh! - That's good for you, right? - I win. - You did win that one yet by the skin of your hand. - Yeah, 'cause that was so close, it's hard for me to even notice though. - Yeah, 'cause I don't know what was video lag, I don't know what was just there, it was really out of the way. - I don't know if I just didn't process the alarm till after the sentence or, 'cause it was right there at the end of the word moment. - I actually want to do one more, but I'll give you a choice from what I have. - You said there was a song, is it the song? - No, the other song was take me out to the ballgame. I can get another song if you guys have another one that you want. - If you had one you wanted, that's fine. I just, I like the song once too, those are funny. - 'Cause I have Tuesday company, but threes blank. I'd buy that for a blank officer. You have no evidence that I, some of these are longer, I was going for short ones, and I got like, cut, cut. I need more blank, baby, forgot your, though those are the options of what we can go with if you want, those are I can come up with another song. - You do a song, I think song sounds fun. - Let me give you, what's a little like, what's a little, what's a song, let me look at. - How about rock 'n' by Bobby? - No, no. ♪ Just a small town girl ♪ ♪ Better not a dance ♪ (laughs) - Next. (laughs) - Can't do that voice, I just love, like, we made it to nine. - Everybody dance soon, but not right now, 'cause this is not time for dancing on the floor right now. (laughs) - All right, we could do that one if you want. - No, fuck, no, that was, that was my only one. - Are you boys ready? - Who's the one first? - You, do I get to sing this every time? (laughs) - That's you man, you're the host. - God fuck, all right. - Everybody. - Oh fuck, man, all right, hold on a second. ♪ Everybody dance ♪ - I'm not gonna do that. No, I can't do that every time. All right. ♪ Everybody dance, yo ♪ - No, fuck, oh god, not now, fuck, oh god. Where's the blank? Hold on. ♪ Bum, bum, bum ♪ - Everybody, it sounds so bad when I just don't, go into it. - Everybody dance. (laughing) - Everybody dance. - This is the best, uh, get right now. - Oh god, I got it. (laughs) - It's hard for you to don't sing the first part to continue the song in that pitch. - This is the best trap we've ever laid for the host. (laughs) He heard that, it was like, "Ah, that would be funny." (laughs) Okay, I'm gonna resume, Bob, you got that one. So it's gonna be you, Wade. You need three. Yeah. - Fuck. - Everybody, everybody. (laughing) - Fuck you guys. (laughing) - I'm gonna do my pants on the fuck. (laughing) - Oh man. Everybody dance. In a moment. - However you want, dude. - Right now or else, something. (laughing) - Whatever you want to, I guess. - Yes, okay. Everybody dance. - I know it was a great one. Lots. - What did you say? - What? - Right now we're, I don't fucking remember. (laughing) - How do you not remember? - It's me! - I paused it. - Right now or else, I'll cry lots? - That would be seven. - I think, yeah, I got seven. - I know or else I'll cry lots. - Bob. - Everett. (laughing) - Oh fuck me, man. (laughing) Everybody dance. - To the song we're playing right now for you. - Oh, no, what do you mean, what do you mean? - For the song that we're playing right now. - For the song we're playing. - That, we're playing or? - That we're playing right now. - We're playing right now. Yes, okay. Everybody dance, nah. Fuck, sorry. Hold on. Everybody dance. - Quickly, quietly or else, I'll miss your dance. - To fuck quickly and quietly or else, I'll miss your dance. Yes, everybody dance. - Appropriately, but cool, but not too cool or I'll feel bad. - What? - It was at one second, hold on. - Oh, wait, is that 11? - Oh, no. - You have a second to do it. (laughing) - Okay, I can do this. I can do this. Okay, I'll cue you in. It's like, just like, they do into the show business. All right. Everybody dance. Appropriately, but cool, but not too cool or I'll feel bad. - Fuck, sorry. (laughing) - It's just through repeated explosions. I cut out one word. I cut out else. - Then if you did that, then that did get in there. - I didn't even listen to the words. I just was like, I'm listening to his hit alarm and then you got it out. almost even. I was ready. I paused and unpause a lot, but I think it was fair between the both of you who I paused and unpause for. That was clutch. Again, I did say what the last second was, but so whether or not that. No, that's fine. I told you that was fine. Wait, was that still 11 though? I don't know, 'cause I don't know exactly what you said. Properly but cool, but not too cool, or I'll feel bad. So it was 12 before. Shit. Shit. Ow. That was an impressive failure. We'll confirm, we'll confirm. The editors will confirm, we'll make that a conditional, but if that's what you said, and I do remember you saying appropriately at the beginning again, then that would go to Wade by the skin of everyone's teeth. And I will never sing again. That was impressive, nonetheless, that you even got, you got even more words in one second. It was, it was very, very good. You know, if it comes down to a timer at the end of the fourth quarter, I'm giving Bob the ball. As long as the ball is talking, and I know what I'm supposed to say, it's guaranteed. All right, Wade, do you remember? No. Are you sure? Are you sure? 'Cause what you need to remember seems doable. Yeah, but I remembered, I needed to tell you that I remembered that I forgot. Can you give me any detail about the thing? Was it story related or podcast related? Like, phone a friend? No. All right. I think that's, I'll give you 10 seconds. Warming when I get to 1. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. I mean, I, I remembered what you were saying as if he remembered that he needed to remember something, then that would be adequate. That's what I thought. If I'm being completely honest and above board, he did remember something. All right. Then we're confirming that conditional point. Wade, good job. Your memory's improving. I got a tear in my eye, man. I was trying so hard to think. I think I burst a tear duct. Can you do that? I think so. But that's pretty cool. All right. The point stand is follows, Bob. You have the concerned point, the first small talk point, easy workouts. You have a lie point, so that is conditional. You got big boy undies. And I also tied that in because I mean, it's might be a spoiler, but in dungeon crawler Carl and the first book, there's a thing about big boy undies. That's pretty early on now. Yeah, it made me laugh. Okay. You won the old candidate around. You got to take me out to the stick your hands up. Not move. You so you are going in with eight points. Wade, you got the concerned point. You got the segue point, gravy part two. You did remember, do your penthouse forum round. Everyone loves when I, any, any, my, any, and then everybody dance. You have eight to Bob's eight. It is tied, but Bob does have a lie point. So there is a conditional there. And I already know what my contribution to the wheel was going to be, which is whoever mentions my height. The most loose is a point. Who did that this episode? Who would have did that? That's okay. We know our additions never show up in the same episode that they're headed. I know, right? Okay. For lie points, double. Does that mean they still have to become absolute or does that mean they become absolute and are just double? There can be a negative lie point. That was another thing is like a lie point can be negative. Times two is unaffiliated with the absolute. Those are different. But I think if it lands on any lie point spot, lie points become valid. Yeah, they come into play, right? Yes. Yeah. I feel like that makes sense. I think there's a basic lie points are valid. Then there's a lie points are absolute to obviously skate the negative lie points. And then there's that one, which is another one. But any lie points where I think activates the lie points, all right. Let's do it. Even. Even. Yeah. Oh. Oh. All right. Oh, yeah. Well, good thing it's low, right? Good thing. It's probably fine. Spading number one. Loudest. Loudest. Interesting. You both had times where you were shouting. I will say though, when Wade was shouting, he might have been slightly louder. Especially that. Oh! Why would I will fucking kill me? Yeah. That was kind of loud. Was that louder than the. I don't think that I did that loud. Those were both you. I thought we both did that. No, no, no. I think. Did Mark have a cry and did that? Oh, fuck. It wasn't that. No. Is that funny? No. No. It was bad. It was funny. Okay. I like your singing, Mark. I thought I brought a sense of levity and fun to the episode. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Wins. Holy shit. I forgot. That was even a thing. I forgot. That was on there. When is the last time I won, man? The one-man show, I guess. But the Holy fuck. I was like, I got this in the bag. It's been like five episodes since you won. Fuck. Well, fuck. All right. I'll take it. You both get to say losers' meat. That's unprecedented, isn't it? I don't think we flanted on that before, yeah. Yeah, that's never happened. No. I don't know when that was added to the wheel, but, man. I don't remember when that was added. That's flull-old, old, one. Holy shit. Wow. That's crazy. You don't think it was one of the OGs, like the original. It's possible? Because that's definitely the kind of thing where it was like, oh, how do we populate this? Okay. Point for Wade. Host wins. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going to go lose a speech in order of who had the most points at the end anyway. So Wade, you go first with nine, whatever honor that means to you, that's what you get. You know, I feel like the biggest loser, because after getting the previous loud point and being up by a point, I was like, feeling pretty good about my chances. And I'm in a bit of a losing streak, and I really thought I'd turn it around. And yet, where did that lead me? Back to the bottom. Okay. Well, very well-spoken. Bob, being in second place, maybe you or the biggest loser, I don't know. Depends on how your perspective is. As the loserist loser of the group, I can say that while it stings, to be down here, and to technically be behind Wade, it feels good knowing at least Wade didn't win. In that, we can all find some solace. I'd definitely find it, because I have not had many wins. I was like, I was at a huge win streak at the beginning of the season. And then, you know, it kind of fell away. I guess this is my winner's speech. But, you know, hey, I'm climbing back, because the season is coming to a close. And I really would like to win a season. So, hey, it's another one for me. I didn't do much of anything in this episode. And we can all forget that singing, and no way contributed to me winning or losing this episode. But hey, I win. So you get to see this guy host another episode. Will it be the perfectist crime? No. Oh. Okay. Almost certainly not, but you never know. You never know. So thank you, everybody, so much for this. This is amazing. I will host the next episode, but you can know that I will host the next episode by following the podcast. You can also go to distractable.shop for all of our beautiful merch that you can find on that website. You can find Bob at my skins. That's your last name, my skirm. Close enough. Find me at Barnes or, yeah, he at Barnes and or Minion777 on Markiplier. And thank you for listening and/or watching to this by guest. Unprecedented events happen every week here, unless they are completely precedent because we forgot we did that episode already.