Mariska Hargitay

This episode is brought to you by Subaru. There's something about being on the road that has a way of leading to those unexpectedly memorable little moments. And in the all-new 2026 Subaru Hybrid, it's like the destination isn't even important. It's the drive, baby. And let me tell you, I'm in that car and I feel like a million bucks. Quiet ride. Comfortable. Love my Subaru. Can't get enough. With up to 581 miles in the Subaru Forester Hybrid and even more, 597 in the Crosstrek Hybrid, you can go further between stops and stay in the moment longer. Visit Subaru.com slash hybrid to learn more. The Subaru Forester Hybrid and Crosstrek Hybrid, love goes the extra mile. Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of Good Hang. Very excited about our guest today, the one, the only, Mariska Hargitay. We have wanted Mariska to come by for a while. She's a great guest. She's a great guest. She's a great guest. She's a good guest. For a very long time, we're so happy that she's here and we're going to talk about a lot of very exciting stuff. We're going to talk about her beautiful new HBO documentary, My Mom Jane. We're going to talk about the fact that she's America's favorite detective. We're going to discuss what parts we would play in an all-female version of Hamilton. It's a great interview and let's get started listening to it. But, oh, but before we do, guess who we have? You know, we have a great guest who has a question for our guest and we got a good one. We got Christopher Maloney. That's right. Detective Stabler is here and you may know him from Oz and from SVU and from Law and Order Organized Crime. Most importantly, you might know him from his star turn in Wet Hot American Summer where I met him. But Chris Maloney is joining us today. Chris, can you hear us? This episode is presented to you by Palmolive. Some of the best memories you'll ever make are around the dinner table. You'll never regret trying out those new recipes that may or may not go sideways or putting on a spread so big that your in-laws are still talking about it years later. Brownie points. So when it comes to the dishes, it's nice to know that there's a product that works as hard as you do. Palmolive Ultra removes up to 99.9% of grease, leaving your dishes sparkling clean. Visit palmolive.com shop now. How are you, friend? I'm fantastic. Oh, so good to see you. Thank you. Where am I talking to you from? Are you in the city or? Do you know what the irony is? I'm staying at Mariska's place. Get out of here. How cool. Yeah. And I can't show it to you because I haven't been authorized No. But it's super secret. It's like a lair. You know, you remember the Batmobile? Yeah. It's a fence that goes down and you go into a cave and the fence goes up. I mean, it's really, it's crazy. Oh, you have to like put your hand on a sensor and it only, and it reads your fingerprints. Yep. Everything. Yep. God, you know, this is all just, this is also satisfying for, for, for listeners that you're staying at Mariska's house. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Before we get to her though, hello, hi. Hi. We, um, we got to know each other on a cult classic, a film called Wet Hot American Summer, which I mean, some could argue you stole that movie right from under all of these sketch little shrinky dinks. You just came in. Well, wow. You're, you're, uh, thank you. That's, that's really sweet. Cause I just look at the whole piece as, you know, it's to me, it's, the epitome of a cult classic. I actually, in fact, when it did not do well at the box office, I remember, you know, I'd been in the biz long enough to go, you know, I had a great time. I thought it was great, whatever. And then all of a sudden, you know, over the years you keep seeing these young people or being stopped in the street by younger people. And you're like, it's okay. Am I crazy? Or is this a thing that's happening? Yeah. And that was, that's so exciting. Let's talk about what you're working on. Are you shooting currently right now? No. I want to play the head coach of a football team in the NFL. I mean, you definitely have a coach vibe. How do you stay so fit? Oh man. You know, four, four, four or five days a week. Oh my God. Um, you know, and as you have, as I look, I've been working out, I, I, I calculate, and I think the longest I've not worked out is maybe two weeks. Oh my God. And I've been doing that for 50 years. That truly sounds like a nightmare. Yeah. And it was, yeah, it is. But now it's my drug of choice. So it's all good. Yeah. I get it. I mean, it's a fantastic thing to invest in yourself and it feels good and it's, it, it, it lengthens your life and all of it, but man. Yeah. Yeah. That's a lot of, that's a lot of hard work. Well, I, I, on behalf of everyone everywhere thank you. Congratulations. All the little people thank me. All the little actors in Hollywood. The frail little actors. Now Mariska and you, I mean, you've had to answer a million questions over the years about, um, your relationship on, on the show and off the show and on shows and off shows. And, but it really is truly like you are family to each other. Yeah. How would you describe, you know, your relationship to each other? Um, I, I think it was based, uh, I think there's a strong cornerstone that is, uh, comedic based. We both are constantly, uh, in search of great comedy on, and you know, we've, we've literally tested out on each other. We used to in between setups, we would act drunk. And then critique each other. Go ahead and guess. Nope. That's too much. Nope. Nope. Okay. There. Go ahead. I used to say too, when I had to play drunk, the first thing I would do is I would take a big step closer to whoever I was talking to. See, that's good. Spatial awareness is gone. Just one step closer. Because I know those people, you know, they do this thing and you're like, okay. Totally. Okay. So you and Mariska like to do bits. Like. Yes. This is something that, for a split second, she was, she was talking about, she was looking, you know, she was going out on dates a lot or she was going out on dates. And I said, I've, you should be dating a guy named Gerald. And why that struck us as funny. We don't know, but all of a sudden she had a phantom guys that she dated that she was really in love with, but it was difficult to manage with Gerald. Oh, there's nothing like a fake boyfriend. Yeah. I, but I mentioned, I mentioned, I said, I go, Gerald's here, but I told him to get lost because you were working. In the middle of like, you know, setting up a scene. And she goes, gosh, Chris, you're not allowed to do that. And she starts running out. She goes, Gerald! I went, there you go. It makes no sense. It's not even particularly funny, but it's just funny. I love a bit. God, I, I mean, it's the only way sometimes to get through a long day is a dumb bit. Yeah. And I'll say this because the, the, the, uh, the Genesis of where I drove us came, your question was, you know, what's, what's the secret to the sauce. And so, you know, it's the comedy, but I would also add that there's something spiritual in it. And I think that's in her nature and, you know, perhaps it's an aspect of mine that I recognize. Do you think you knew each other in a past life? Oh, that's funny. Yeah. I don't know. I don't think in those terms, even though I feel that way, like New York to me, is that, is that to me that when I arrived in New York, I went, I, I don't even know what this thought is, but I should have been born here. That's so funny. You say that I felt the same way when I came to New York. I thought, oh, right. This is the city I'm supposed to live in. Right. Oh, do you know something? I can check this box. I'm no longer lost. That's how it felt to me. Interesting. I there's all this like spirit, speaking of spirituality, there's all this idea that there's like people in your life. And I can think of some for me who just, when I met them, I was like, oh, there you are. And they, they became part of my life. They're now, you know, we're all of the age now we're now we're knowing and working people for with people for 25 years, 30 years. And suddenly it's like, they're some version of a, you know, a group that was supposed to come together. You're funny. I have the same thing. I've, and I've never put it in those terms, but when I walk away from someone, I I'll say this, that's a solid citizen. But you go, that's someone that you can build a community with. Yes. That's a solid citizen. And it makes me, you know, again, makes me laugh. I love that. I love that. Okay. Speaking. So we're talking to very solid citizen Mariska Hargitay today. Yeah. I'm very excited to have her in the studio. Mariska and I have gotten a chance to see each other out in the world, but never really had a real conversation. And I've seen her, you know, at you know I've been lucky enough to be part of the many good works that she does and of course I'm a huge fan of her work and I've been very moved by her recent film but there's a lot of sides to her and I feel like you get you know that everyday work environment thing is like you really get to know someone and so I guess do you have a question for me today that I could ask her that you feel like she never gets asked or that you know I don't know she would like to be asked about? She is the consummate multitasker and it's a gift that I marvel at you know she she's a good connector of people so she has a wide spectrum of the world as well as a very keen incisive mano-a-mano engagement. With people you know she can assess people very well and engages them always from a kind of a pure heart she's always trying to find the solution or the good and I guess you know a question what is that what's the driving force of all of these things and did you know that you know did you start out oh I'm going to be an actor and then when was it when when do the tumblers start to pop? I love what you're saying because the like figuring out the why of things. The why of the journey yeah. That is is like to me that you know like what a cure what it's what curiosity is about like she's it seems like a very curious person and I would be and I'm curious about her curiosity basically. And you know it that's what I thought made her documentary about her mom so poignant was the clarity of what the journey was right the genesis of the journey. The genesis of it the the the her feelings the the things that needed to get resolved for her the the deeper insight. Oh my god. Oh we lost we lost video again. Hey. But that's okay. No no no hold on. Do you have me? We have you. Do you know why I lost you? Mariska just called me. Amazing amazing what are you talking about? She goes why won't you pick up? Are you naked? Do you want me to call her? Yeah let's call her right now because she's I think she's on the way here. Does she know you're doing this? No. Amazing. No so hold on a second. Don't say anything. What what's up girlfriend? I just I felt so happy that you're there. I really am. I want I'm so happy. I want you to enjoy it and just text me or Sophie if you need to. Figure out how anything works or whatever. Okay do you do and but and was that a hint? Do you want a nudie? Could I? But first of all I'm so sorry. That's so gross about those lemons. I went through it by a shit ton of lemons because I love having lemonade there all the time. Serious. Well I saw your lemonade sign. I saw your big lemonade sign right there. Hey where are you going? What are you doing? I'm right now I'm going to uh Amy Poehler. I have to do a podcast. You know a but I don't like know her or anything and then um I'm doing that and then I just have meetings for like now that I'm a mogul at meetings. Why are you laughing? No I'm no I love Amy Poehler with all my heart and soul. That's all. I was just playing you. You've always loved her. Since day one. I love you more than you know. Thank you so much. Ciao. Love you. When I tell you. That was a lot. When I tell you that you guys should start an OnlyFans where people pay to hear you guys FaceTime. That was incredible. I got very nervous. That was actually I actually started to sweat because that was like a high school version of like hearing how somebody was going to talk about me. Thank God she didn't say anything bad. What if she had said I have to go do this dumb ass podcast? Well number one I trusted that you know she didn't know that that but I love that she didn't want to offend me when I'm like. When you said eh. I was like mommy are you nuts? She just wants to play. She's the best. I love talking to you. I hope I see you soon. Good. I love you Amy. Thanks Chris. Great to see you buddy. This episode is brought to you by Visible. You know that one friend who's always the first to know about everything. They've got a dozen tabs open constantly on their phone and in their head. To be that friend you need wireless that can keep up. Visible is the ultimate wireless hack that lets you live in the know so you can follow a rabbit hole as long as you want. Get one line wireless with unlimited data talk and text for $25 a month taxes and fees included plus visible runs on Verizon's 5G network so you can get great coverage and a reliable connection without the premium cost. Ready for wireless that lets you live in the know? Make the switch at visible.com. Terms apply. See visible.com for plan features and network management details. I was walking out of my apartment this morning and some lady it's a very sweet lady goes oh my god my son goes to college where she went to college and so she said oh your son he's so great and then I don't know how my age came up and I go yeah I know and now I'm 60 and she goes don't tell anyone your age and I go and she's probably 70 and I go why I'm proud of it and you know so cute 60 is 60 is very hot 60 is the new hot 60 is hot yeah it is yeah it's that's why I'm so proud of it. That's why I'm so I get so happy for people that turn 60 I'm like trust me sweetie it's all just beginning. I know I mean people get really bunched up about age I want to talk to you about it too because I do think like. I will get into it I love talking about it. Okay because I bet you like me like it's only getting better only getting better. Only getting better and I'll tell you something I remember when I turned 40 and I thought and I used to tell people oh my god life begins at 40 because my 20s were super hard and really struggled and then 30 you go okay so now I it's a new beginning but then 40 is when it really kind of kicked in and I got married and had kids and then 50 you go oh I'm in it and I know how to do it but 60 gives you a new permission we learn we learn no but no with love and we learn like oh this is how much time I have left and I'm so grateful to be alive and I want to spend my time in the best most useful productive loving generous but also generous to myself way that you go I'm just so clear there's a clarity to 60. Top of act three 60s is top of act three that's exactly right and bottom of act two can be a little there can be some like some reckoning yeah but top of act three let's do it let's do it but also listen you're the teacher of this also to everyone about I really I really do like I would say humor and comedy has has has saved my life and like a person who can make you laugh when you're really down is like an angel it's exactly right those are the words out of my mouth and sometimes I'm so this is why I'm still married because my husband sometimes I'm so upset or something's happened and I'm so scared and I'm like no no you don't understand or I think I'm having an anxiety attack and I'm like no no you don't understand or I think I'm having an anxiety attack and I'm like no no you don't understand or I think I'm having an anxiety attack and then I'm like no Peter something's wrong I think something's wrong I feel a thickness a tightness in my chest and I might have to go to the hospital I can't feel my right arm and I think I'm gonna die he immediately goes into the comedy yeah as soon as I laugh I go because that's his test it's litmus test yeah should I be scared or not right and um I'm so grateful for that I'm so great I'm profoundly grateful for that even when my kids do bad things I call them losers and then they say oh it's must be it's not that bad if she's and we laugh through it I know I mean that kind of like I've said this before but like gentle teasing is like a love language that means you're safe I'm safe we will get through this I know we'll get through this I know and you know gentle teasing even hard teasing hard teasing hard teasing I learned that from well Chris Maloney was my teacher this guy played so rough yeah and was the first person that busted balls so hard but I did grow up with two brothers so I was like oh oh is this how we do it is this how we do it I mean we were so rough on each other but then it became truly our love language okay this leads me to say what I was gonna say later in the interview but I have to say now okay which is we do a thing at the beginning of the interview where we ask someone to speak well behind someone's back and we kind of ask like we do a little like zoom with somebody oh I'm talking to Mariska today do you think you know have any questions I should ask her so we talked to Chris oh and not only did we talk to Chris but we just talked to him 20 minutes ago and oh my god look at me starting to sweat okay I'm sweating too because he answered your phone call while we were on zoom and I wrote back and said why won't you answer my face time are you naked that's what I said - Just answer my FaceTime, 'cause he's at my house right now. - Okay, we know, we know he's at your house. because he he was talking so lovingly about you i mean absolutely he's going through your he's going through all of it i'm frightened he is first of all thank you for not saying anything bad about me because it was like maloney put us both on the spot in the best way when he was like what are you doing and you're like i'm going to amy puller's podcast and i was like oh my god wait you were on the phone you heard what i said yes and i said you love her yes you were so nice and it was and so like while i was talking well beside someone else's back somebody else talked well behind my back that is so that is so sweet very healing thank you um but by the way is there anything better than that than having somebody have your back no there's nothing better there's just nothing i was talking to my sisters this morning i'll i'm worrying about it it's everything to me well maloney's got your back yeah and you guys have i mean i mean i want to get into it because it's it's to me it speaks to like this bigger idea of like how our workplace becomes like a second home and our family but you guys tease each other in a way that to me is like that's what what what it looks like with the people i love that's how i show my love and people don't know you're in the ground links like comedy first always how did i end up as america's sweetheart sex cop i should have been you oh my god i wanted to be you i wanted to be a lot i wanted to be a lot i was like oh my god i didn't take it seriously all i wanted to be was you i was like oh my god she's oh my god all i wanted to be was to be like be like listen to me and everyone was like no babe no one's gonna listen to you switch for a day my dream okay i'm gonna try to make this freaky friday that shit yeah we'll freaky friday that shit i mean because i would watch and i was like god to have that great time with you and i was like oh my god i'm gonna be a lot better than you gravitas and play those scenes and to be able to be in charge instead of being like because you start wait how old were you when you did groundlings god that was many years ago 20s yeah 20s and then kathy griffin always tells me in her book she tells a story about how she dropped me also out of it she said we did the trust thing and i was like oh my god i'm gonna be a lot better than you and i was like oh my god exercise and then i of course i'm like you know yes and yeah and uh she said that i just you know leaned back and she dropped me dude you don't remember that i don't and i also think maybe that's part of what's wrong with me now when you were auditioning in the beginning were you going out for comedic stuff yes you were i did a lot of um yeah i did you know i did uh seinfeld and um i did single guy and you know um i you know i tested for friends you did so many times oh yeah heart do you remember i think it's monica i think so long ago again but i always thought that i would end up being on a sitcom or doing comedy that's what i thought yeah and it was so funny because this is one of my favorite stories that you will love so i'm in la struggling actor um was doing i think it was after was it after er yeah after er i was like what am i going to do what what am i what am i going to do i loved er but i was like i want to i had a development deal with um this warner breath dreamworks and so i was developing a show and it was sort of like all uh um um what's the show with calista flockhart oh yeah ali mcbeal ali mcbeal where it was half drama dramedy and that's what i wanted to do i was like i want to do drama but it has to be funny because that's what i felt like my gifts were so i was i came to new york which i did three times a year to see our theater and then i met with the psychic everyone said to me oh my gosh you have to meet with the psychic he's amazing so i drove out somewhere on long island to this man and i went there and he started saying all this amazing stuff to me stuff about my mom and stuff about a ring my grandmother had just died and he said there was going to be an issue with the ring which there was and then he said he looks at me and he goes i i was listening to him really intently like this and he said to me amy you see that face you're doing right now you see that face and you look like that i said i said yeah he goes you're gonna be famous for that face you're moving to new york and you're gonna be famous for that face and i said uh no i uh live in la and i'm gonna be a comedian because i'm funny and i'm pretty and that is a deadly combination i am going to be a comedian and he looks at me and this is my favorite moment in my life he goes like this i don't give a rat's ass what you say you're gonna be famous for that face six months later oh swear to god on my children i got us for you right and it was one of those things where you just go but i don't know who says rat's ass yeah is that not the best line you ever heard about psychics like i love a bossy psychic yes because sure you know just tell me just tell me and tell me with confidence totally because if you're insecure i'm out and i'm gonna forget what you said i'm gonna forget but he said remember the parts that came true that's right and he said i don't give a rat's ass six months later i was walking around doing that face going where were you tuesday night okay so guys god i want to do that so bad it's so good i'm gonna i'm gonna make this happen well you know i'm gonna do that so bad i'm gonna do that so bad i'm gonna do that so bad you know let's talk about you were on er and you were incredible on that show and can you just tell me before we get to your incredible show what it was like to work changed my life and your performance on that show is very tender thank you i love your performance on that show that character was i felt very vulnerable and very funny and very sweet and tender and to me that uh what was your character's name cynthia thank you cynthia cynthia hoopers working at the desk being like overwhelmed and being in love with dr mark green played by anthony edwards and being like is this the right place for me and it was so interesting to watch that character on that show at that time because the show was about like we're all here with a mission and there was someone that was like or maybe i'm sure or maybe i shouldn't be here very much so and it was so nuanced how you played her i loved her oh thanks what was the experience to be on that show you know we all we lived through what er was it was the pinnacle of all television i mean it was the greatest show on the planet and the acting was so next level and i look back at it and i think of how that show really shaped me and those actors shaped me and how invested they were how amazing they were how it was it was acting like i'd never seen but i knew i didn't know how to i didn't know how to do exactly what they were doing it was it was like a little out of my league but i watched them so skillfully and so in such a beautiful nuanced way i think that was when i went i want to do that i want to do that yeah whatever they're doing that's so masterful and skilled and that was such a turning i love that you're bringing this up it was such a turning point in my life because of in enacting the truth is it's both right it can be so tragic but then it's so funny right because we we panic you know our heads get squeezed we don't know how to deal with it all we can do is laugh and so it was such a integration moment one of the greatest gifts i think that my dad ever gave me was mariska you can learn from everyone around you so i've always been like if you don't know it watch and learn watch and learn whether they're younger older anyone watch and learn so i did and i do attribute so much of my success to those days of watching these masterful actors and going i want to do that this episode is brought to you by allstate checking allstate first could save you hundreds not checking which group chat you're typing in before hitting send next thing you know you sent a scalding hot take about the restaurant to the group with the person who picked it yikes yeah checking first is a good idea so check allstate first for an auto quote it could save you hundreds you're in good hands with allstate potential savings vary subject to terms conditions and availability allstate north american insurance company and affiliates north brook illinois folks as we head into fall we welcome yet another season of change changing leaves refreshed wardrobes and new routines but one thing that doesn't need to change your phone the smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone it's a better wireless plan switch to visible the ultimate wireless hack you get unlimited 5g data and unlimited hotspot powered by verizon for just 25 a month that means keeping the phone you already love ditching your overpriced phone bill and saving enough to get yourself a pumpkin spice all season long all the perks of big wireless for half the cost switch today at visible.com the visible plan starts at a month or get the premium Visible Plus Pro plan and save $10 on your first month with promo code HANG. Terms apply. This episode is brought to you by American Airlines. You'd think sitting on a plane with just a couple of hours between you and your vacation would be reward enough, but American Airlines said, what if we gave them even more? With the American Airlines Advantage program, you earn miles not only when you fly, but with thousands of your favorite brands and then redeem those miles for flights, upgrades, and experiences worldwide. That and Advantage members also enjoy earlier boarding and free high-speed Wi-Fi in-flight. Join for free and start earning towards your next adventure at aa.com slash Amy. This episode is brought to you by PayPal. Shine at gift-giving this year by planning ahead. Shop your favorite online store. with PayPal this holiday, like Sephora for gift sets, Target for toys and electronics, and TikTok Shop for fashion, apparel, and gadgets. Check out with the flexibility to pay now or pay later and split your payments with Pay in 4 with no interest, no late fees. Shop now with PayPal. Pay in 4 subject to approval. Learn more at paypal.com slash pay in 4. PayPal Inc. NMLS 910457. You have this moment, you're on that set, you're learning what kind of actor you want to be. Can you walk us through how SVU comes into your life? Because it is, I mean, it's, that show is beyond a TV show. That show is not only like a cornerstone for a network, a franchise, but it's also become, you know, an iconic American. experience, that show. And you are the captain of that ship. And I'm sure all of these things you are now able to reflect and kind of process and, and hopefully enjoy. But at the very beginning, when it's not a tree yet, and it's just a little tiny seedling, what's that experience you walking in, finding out about that show, auditioning for it? Meeting Dick Wolf. Scary to scary Dick Wolf. I'm scared of Dick Wolf. I'm sure he sees him. You know what? Dick Wolf wasn't scary to me then, because I didn't fully know who he was and his, what he represented. And, you know, I don't know if, if you've talked to Chris or, but if he told you about our audition. No. The experience was pretty magical in terms of. Okay, tell us please. In terms of, I mean, listen, I'm, have this personality and Chris and I, I think where we bond it is that we both have that sense of humor, that sense of play, that sense of risk, that sense of, I love you. It's safe. So I'm going to beat you. You know what I mean? And so that's where the trust was built. So, and it came immediately. So I had read for SVU. He obviously had read for SVU. And so our callback was three women, three men. And we got to the audition and we were to be paired up. Yeah. A lot of people don't know that, that you, in auditions, sometimes you just get like a dance partner and it can make or break your chance to get on the show. Period. Cause it was about chemistry. Yeah. So my agent said, oh my God, there's an amazing guy there. His name is John Slattery. And he's reading for, for the role as well. In walks Chris Maloney and I go Slattery. And he goes Maloney. And so minute one, that's how it opened. That's how it opened because I didn't know what either one of them looked like in 1999. And he came in and I didn't know there was going to be 47 people there. So as soon as Chris comes in, I'm like Slattery, it's going to be me and Slattery. And he goes Maloney. And then I said, oh my God, I'm going to Chris comes in and you know, he's like wearing no clothes. Big surprise. And so he has this huge cross and I'm like, oh my God, you're a Christian. You're just getting it wrong. And he goes like this. Yeah, no. And I go, then why do you have Jesus Christ on your arm? He goes, because I admire his commitment. And I'm like this. Okay. Got it. Got it. And it was such a, I was like, okay, well there's that. I've never met anyone like you, but I like it. And so we're sitting there and then everyone comes in and then we got paired up and that was the end of it because I knew he was going to get it. I knew that he was Elliot Stabler. I knew it. I knew it. And so the other people, I think he felt the same way. So as soon as they paired us up, we were like, oh, okay, partner. It was interesting. It was overwhelming to get back to your question. It was utterly overwhelming. I loved the script and I loved the progressive nature of the show. I loved the subject matter and the fact that they were willing to tackle it. And I loved Chris. What's so interesting about your performance in the show and your dynamic together is you trade kind of like masculine and feminine a lot back and forth. That's right. And the dance is really interesting. And, and in other hands, that character of Olivia Benson would feel a little one-dimensional, because she would feel, you know, kind of cut off from certain parts of herself. But what's been so interesting and what I'm sure he brings out in you and you bring out in him is the like the yin and yang of those people. Very much so. And I changed very much when he left, but also that was done by design. And because as soon as I got the role, I went through a 40 hour training and became a rape crisis counselor. So I could fully understand because I was entering in such a new world and I wanted to understand the cops of it. I wanted to understand victims, advocates, rape crisis counselors and sexual assault from a more holistic viewpoint. And there was so much for me to learn. And so once I became, you know, did the 40 hour training, I went, oh, I am not going to play this, you know, like a hard-nosed detective woman who's trying to fit into a man's world and be masculine. I am going to be all of myself because that's where as women, our power lives. But also that's where anyone's power is, is when they have the ability for integration, right? And to say, I'm this and I'm this and I'm this and I'm this. What you don't want to do is let, is be put into a box or let anyone put you a box or put other people in a box for that matter. And then we learned very young, I mean, very early, we weren't young. There was nothing young about us when we got the show, but we learned very early that the show was only as good as the guest cast. Right. So then we became very, with the guest cast and we would just like help everyone. And it became really, and that's one of the things I think I'm most proud of is like, when you step onto SVU, some people come on and they're just unbelievable and talented and they understand it. And some people they're nervous or they struggle or they don't fully understand the character or they don't, whatever. We have like 16 safety nets in place that they, it's very hard to fail on our show because we got you. You're often someone's first job. You're often like, oh, Adam Scott was on here and he talked about how he did a Law & Order episode. I don't think it was my show. No, it wasn't SVU. And I'm really upset because I'm so obsessed with Adam Scott. I know. And all things severance. And I think it was with Jerry Orbach, who also I used to hear was like, really, like if you showed up and you knew your scene, Jerry would love you forever. If you didn't know your scene. No, no. He's like this. Hit the road, kid. What time am I out? Yeah, like chop, chop. Yeah, I got a hard out of five. I get it, Jerry. You got, Jerry, there's a steak waiting for you and Morton's like, you got to get out of here. Period. Period. End of story. Yes. But, but what, who were some people, you must have seen a lot of people. A lot. That have come through that you thought, you saw them at the beginning of something. Is there anyone that you could. Abigail Breslin. Ugh. The two people that I went, holy, holy God, were Abigail Breslin. She was so young on the show. She kept doing this dance between takes and going like. Some kind of dance she was doing and then I started doing it with her and then we would just do it and it was some funny little nursery rhyme schtick, I don't know what it was, but I would just do it with her and then they'd say action and I swear to God, I don't think I've ever seen anything like it. She would turn one tear and start like lip quiver, one tear, no acting, but like I said, I remember going, what the, are you like Meryl Streep? Yeah. I said, are you like Meryl Streep? And she'd be like, I don't know. If I think, think, think. And then she'd go back to her nursery rhyme and I was like, oh, there's something, this kid is touched. Yeah. She is so magical. Savant. And then there was another person, another person that I called in, I remember saying it to her, is Megan Fahey. When she did the show, I was like, let me tell you something. I'm just going to tell you right now, you're going to be a big movie star. You're going to be a huge star. And I don't like use that word because it's so like star, what does that even mean? But I just recognized her, A, talent, B, light. And C, she was like, she was so sparkly, internally, like an internal sparkle. And there's just been people that have come through where you go, oh, oh, wow. And it's, it's almost like an effortless, beautiful light. And it's so exciting. It's so exciting to see them go on and go. I called it. Totally. I called it. And, and also to your point. I'm just so in awe of the fact that you, you, in working with the material on a daily basis, then made sure that you were able to handle the material in your personal life. Like that you knew like, okay, I'm going to really get trained here. So I not only know what I'm talking about, but I imagine you anticipated, because I know you do get people who approach you with very personal things. I do. Yeah. Listen, the subject matter of the show is the reason I started Joyful Heart, my foundation. Yeah. Talk about that. Well, I just felt like I can't, when I found out the statistics, which was one out of four, one out of three women in their lifetime will be sexually assaulted. One out of six men in their lifetime will be sexually assaulted. And when I learned those statistics, I was like, stop, hold please. Why is everyone not talking about this? This is an epidemic. This is something that affects everyone. If you're at lunch with three or four women, one person has been assaulted. And so because as soon as I started the show, everybody, because it was, you know this, it's on television, it becomes water cooler conversation, and then it's okay to talk about. And that was the power of SVU, is that you had these horrific stories, true stories, ripped from the headline stories being told. And then you had a fierce, protective father figure and a. fierce, nurturing mother figure, which was, you know, Chris and I, to protect you. And that's all anybody wanted. So I think that a lot of it comes from the fact that there's space to be heard. And think about everybody, every person on this planet, all we want is to be seen, to be seen and listened to. That doesn't always happen. But when we're listened to, half of it, and believed, half of the injury can go away. And so, I know that that's how I heal, is being listened to and believed. And so I think the character who listens, who believes, and then feels a need to fix and protect, obviously, is going to create safety, because that's all you want. But I also, I can't save the world. I can't, I'm just trying to do it. But what I can do is teach people about how we begin. I teach people how we can listen and live in a more compassionate, empathetic, and kind way. And simply by listening, and simply by believing, and simply by saying, I'm so sorry. That that happened to you. It's like tectonic plates shifting. Well, it kind of gets back to what we were saying, which is it's not so much always about the doing of the thing. It's just about the sitting and the feeling of the thing. Sitting in it. It's sitting in it. There's not as much to do as you think. That's exactly right. And I think to go back to our, how we started this conversation, I think that is the clarity of being older and understanding. And for me, it's been more about learning to be tolerant, tolerant with myself. And the more tolerant I've become with myself, or my own pain, the more internal space that I've had, which is why I was able to make my film. Yeah. So let's talk about your film. And Chris's question to me, for you, is a perfect segue into the film. Because Chris wanted me to ask you, when we were talking well behind your back, and then he took a phone call from you, and then you talked well behind my back, thank God. But Chris wanted me to ask you, and it's kind of what we've been talking about today, there's a curiosity to you. You don't want to just be outraged about things that are wrong or not working. You want to figure out the why behind things. The why is very important to you. And he was wondering, where do you think that comes from? And that question made me think about your film. Because, you know, for people, you know, it premiered at the Cannes Film Festival. My mom, Jane, Mariska, made a beautiful documentary about learning more about herself and her mom and her entire family and all the connections there. And it felt like that exercise in trying to figure out the why behind your origins, I think, was a very important part of that. Yeah, I think that's a very important part of it. I think that's a very important part of it. And trying to figure out the why behind your origin story feels like it also exists in other things that you do in work and in life and in your family right now. Is that, is that, is there a connection there? It's like figuring out the why? Yeah, it's funny. My mom, my stepmom just actually texted, I don't have my phone, but she, she texted me yesterday. Because this, this sort of why of it all is just coming up right now in a very crystallized way, which, which I love when sort of everything sort of comes together like that. But yeah, I think that I've spent a lot of my life trying to make sense of things, of chaos. And also I'm living a life right now that I never thought that I was capable of living. Right. And so I still am trying to put together the pieces of why and what those Jenga or Lego pieces were that helped build it. Right. And so for my film, I was just trying to understand these people and their decisions. And so I wanted to go in with this disciplined curiosity because I had jumped to so many conclusions. And because I felt different. I felt different my whole life and like I didn't belong. And then when I found out, when I find out in the film, I was like, why, why would he not choose me or claim me? Like what's wrong with me? Why would she leave me in this mess? Why did I feel, what were the things that were set? Why did, like a little detective child, I was like, this doesn't add up, this doesn't add up, this doesn't add up. And I, and I wanted to understand why. And I also wanted to just have somebody be straight with me. I mean, Mariska, it's so deep what you're saying that that is little, like that is detective child then becomes in real life, this powerful detective on television who is advocating for other people to get answers while she's spent, you know, the, the, the very most important beginning years of her life. Trying to figure that out for herself. Yeah. And I think that, you know, I don't think I could have made this movie before now. Yeah. I had to build the infrastructure. Yeah. Right. To make sure that it was solid as a rock. One of the most beautiful things about the film is, you know, this idea that you're toggling between kind of like yesterday and today and your present is you're such a beautiful family and you have such a wonderful partner in Peter. I do. And that relationship, watching that in real time is so. Moving. And also just like sexy and fun. Like you guys are a lot of fun together. I've, I've had the opportunity to see you together and you're a really like, you, you, you spoke about it earlier, like the way in which he can kind of joke you off of the ledge. Like you guys have fun with each other. You enjoy each other. You've been married for how, how, how long? 21. And you met on? SVU. Chris and I were so, that was what was hard for people. And a lot of people said it. We were so in our own private Idaho and we would just be joking, joking. And it was such intense energy between us that I think people were like, I can't play on that level. Do you know what I mean? I can't. I'm sure it's like that on you guys. Yeah. You felt. People go, oh shit, this is some next level shit. Oh, yes. Like sometimes when I would kind of, you know, have someone around all the comedy people and they would just be doing bits and bits and bits. Bits and bits. I'd look over to a person's face and they'd be like, get me out of here. Yeah, yeah. No, I can't imagine. Help me. Help me. Yeah. And or also like, I don't know how to get in there. Okay. But Peter. Oh. Tall Peter. Tall Peter. How tall? Six five. Damn. Six five. Six five. No, it's so crazy with Peter and I. And I'll tell you something. That was another thing that my dad said to me. He goes, Bershka, find out where you're going and then who's coming with you. Oh, that's so good. But Peter and I just, you know, I didn't get married until I was 40. Mm-hmm. And we. We dated for two years and then once he asked me to marry him, we got married in four months because I had to do it over hiatus, you know what I mean? And so it was like, okay, chop, chop. They were like, and we're rolling. And yeah, we're rolling. And so then it was just, it's been a, you know, I'm so grateful for me that I don't think I could have handled a marriage earlier. I don't think I'd be married. I was just too, had too much to learn. So I just went straight to like, you know, the second husband. Yeah. Smart. Yeah. Right? Yeah, smart. And so we're. It's just good. You know, I'm just grateful that I had a little bit more life experience. And what's your communication style? Like, how do you guys, you know. It's so genius. How do you, yeah. How does it work? I'll tell you something. We have a skill that I wish I could teach. You can. You could start a seminar right now. What we do is there's like tension, like somebody will say something that'll annoy me. And then there's this brilliant thing we do. And I think it's brilliant because it's, again, it's comedy. It always works. Yeah. Where we do this thing where we switch roles, right? But you do a thing like if I said, Peter, you know, I'll get mad at him because he'll leave his clothes around. And he leaves little messes everywhere. And I'm like, why? Can't you just pick your shit up and put it? Like, why does it have to be in every room? Everywhere he goes, there's messes. Just a tiny little pile. And I'm like, do you not? And he's so tall that the piles must be huge. Huge. And I'm like, why? Do you see how much effort I put into having the house neat? I need the mental space for something to be organized. I have so much going on. And so then he'll do, I'll get like mad and we'll have things. He's like, I just left it there for one second. Whatever it is. And then he'll come in and I left a cup and he goes. How many times have I asked you? It's really important to me. If you could just. And then he'll say exactly what I said. So what it means is he gets, he really gets it. Yes. And it works with everything. So you're meaning he parrots back to what you said. But from his point of view. As he takes, it's like wife appropriation. Well, I think it's actually what they do in couple therapy, which is basically like say back. Yes. But he does it as it's his. And the problem now. Is because I'll do it to him. I go like, he'll sometimes I'll say the wrong word. And he's like, I wish, wish you'd be more thoughtful with your words. Cause he always says the right word. And I get, I say the gist. Right. So I'm a gist person. I'm a gist. And so I go, you know what I mean? And look at all this, like gesticulating I'm doing so you could feel me. I could, my energy is coming at you. And he's like, just be, take a second and maybe think about it. But all in our house, the comedy thing is we just rip on the kids. Same. I mean, I just say, don't do that. Cause if you do that, you're a hack and a loser. Is that what you want to be? Totally. And people come over and they don't know us. They're like, oh shit. And I go, yeah. To me, that is what intimacy is that. I've said this before, but like politeness is for strangers and for people that we don't know. Like, by the way, I don't feel safe around polite because then I'm like, what are you thinking? I promise you, I won't torture you. I won't play games with you. And don't, and please, if I go, do you like this? And someone goes, no. I go, great. I want to know if they don't like it. We're exactly the same this way. Yeah. Somebody came to me and said, do you like these shoes? And I went, nope. And it helps with directing, doesn't it? Because you just make really fast decisions. I say, do you know what I do on set? You can't ask them. When I'm directing, I go, guys, guys, you suck. And I'll say that. I go, oh my God, you're so bad. We'll be in the middle of a take. I say, you guys are so bad. I don't know what just happened, but I'm embarrassed for you. Let's cut and try that again. But now they know to laugh. Yes. They also know I'm right. Yes. And also, you know what I love about you, Mariska, is I knew that you wouldn't. Tell me. I knew you wouldn't do this podcast unless you wanted to. I wanted to so bad. Because I know that you don't really do things you don't want to do. Not anymore. Right. That's kind of like the reward that one gets if they're trying to stay true and they're trying to be a good person. One of the rewards, if you're paying attention, is you might get to a point where you really try to stay true. You try to stay true to what you want to do. Yeah. And so I get comfort in that, like, you're here because you want to be here, not because someone told you to be here. No. Exactly. Okay. But let's get into some real questions. Okay. Okay. Hold on, guys. So this is rapid fire. Speaking of directness. Okay. Rapid fire. Let's go. Jalen Brunson. Love. People are so jealous of me. I know. I like it. The cutest relationship ever. How did that start? He loves you. I love him. I know. You guys love each other. I think it started. New York Knicks. Player for the New York Knicks. I mean, it's just the sweetest thing. And it's just like another one of those meant to be. Sometimes I don't even question things. I think Jalen was brought up on SVU. I think his dad, Rick, every time I say that, I laugh. It sounds like I'm name driving Rick. Rick and I were like this. But Rick loved SVU. He watched it, Jalen. So I think the first time I went, they were like, oh my God. He was in that. And then we connected. And it was just easy and effortless. And I'm a huge basketball fan. And I got to meet Jalen also before he was Jalen. He's Jalen now these last, what, three, four years, right? But it predates that. And so it's so beautiful because there was just such a, he's so, I mean, he's so sweet. He's such a killer and such a captain and such a leader. But he is so, like, soft and mushy. And sweet and kind. And he's such a lover of his family. He's so good. And so I just feel so honored to be in his orbit. Yeah, it's really, really. I really do. It's crazy. It really makes you feel good. Yeah. Okay. Strange. I'm sure you've had a million of strange things happen to you shooting in the streets of New York. Yeah. Anything that stands out, like a moment of pretty wild New York, like, you know, only in New York moment. Well, there's, you know, there's the old one. We're shooting and then people just come up to us right while we're in the seat and start talking. And then be like, oh, my God, I love your show. And I'm like, well, that's good because we're actually shooting it right now. Do you see that camera? And they're like, oh, my God, hi. And then they keep talking. So that I like. Okay. Or there's the opposite of that when people have said to me, and Chris, Chris was there. I love this one. I don't really get your show. I don't get you or your show. And I'm like, well, thank you. Thank you for the in-person feedback. It doesn't speak to everyone. And they go right away. Do you think of yourself as a New Yorker now? I do. You do. I do now. Yeah. Okay. What about who should play you in the movie of your life? I always. Let's think about this. Oh, God, that's a good one. I mean, it's because it's like, do we want. Do we want. I feel like it's good. I feel like it's like. There's this really good girl. I can't think of her name. I think it's Cate Blanchett. I think Cate Blanchett plays you. In the story of your life. I like it. Now, you are really thinking outside the box here, sister. I want this movie to open, babe. I want this movie. It's Cate Blanchett. I think it's. Well, I'm going to go with the Megan Fahey. See how I. Nice. Megan Fahey is you in your 20s and 30s on ER trying to figure it out. Yeah. And then we cut to the shot of SGU and it's Cate Blanchett. Beautiful blue eyes. Go ahead. You're right. Okay. Have you always had such nice hair? Yes. Yes, I have. Your hair is incredible. Well, my hair was good. It was good. I didn't love. I had some bad years on SGU when it turned red and short. We all had bad years on TV. I did some Martha Washington stuff that was not good. We always do. We've all been there. So, there was some stuff that I. There was not good. That combined with like bad Botox. I had some bad years. We all have had some. We've all made some choices that we regret. Yeah. But we're cute now. Yeah. And we have kind of like. All that matters is the present. We're just tousled and loose. But I have so much fake hair and I don't even want to take it out on the table. It would be horrifying. Did you know that I didn't wear fake hair today? Because I was like. Because you were like, Amy's not going to wear it. I know. She goes, do you want to put in a piece? I go, no. Amy's like just real and natural. I'm totally real. And stuff. And she. I just want to be like Amy and have 25 pieces of fake hair in. Okay. Next time I come, should I be invited back? I swear to God. I want you full volume. I'm going to look like Rapunzel. Okay. I want full volume. How badly have people screwed up your name? Oh. Like. I still live with it. Who is it? Last night. Oh, I had a lunch yesterday. I had a brunch yesterday for my sister. And my cousin was there. Your own cousin. I've known him since 1994. And he kept calling me Mariska. And at one point I go. And then I said, no. Just let it go. And then Chris and my friends, when it happens, because it happens on set a lot. Now, on the call sheet, it's M-A-R-I-S-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-K-A. That's how I put it on the call sheet. Just so people go, oh, okay. Got it. She's big on the H's. But. He was calling me. I get called Maritza. Mm-hmm. Marcika. Markiska. But Chris will call me Maritza. At on set. Just to confuse people. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Maritza. Maritza and Marissa. You know, I'll tell you who learned it. All of America. And the world. The world learned it. So I got it. But it's Mariska. Mariska. And what does it mean? What does that name mean? Oh, gorgeous, talented woman. Way of sunshine. Queen of, queen of, queen of. Queen of, queen of. Queen of straight talk. Yes. One with thick, luxurious hair. That's it. It means, it's a nickname for Maria. It means little Maria. In Hungarian, the K-A or K-E on end of a name. It just, it's like a little endearment. So the name is actually Maria, after my grandmother. Both of them, Hungarian and Italian. See the film, people. That's right, on HBO right now. On HBO right now. Such a good film. It's such a good. But don't you kind of love that both grandmothers? Beautiful. I also, Maria. Have the same name. Maria. Maria. Do you, you're a Hamilton fan, by the way, because I was about to sing. So, so hardcore. Me too. Did you see it 27 times? No. I win. Two seven? Two seven. And by the way, my claim to fame, and when people say like, when did you know you were famous? And I go, when I was 27. I would call Hamilton. show up at the theater and they'd go they'd bring a chair and put it in the audience and I'd be like what? that's right you earned that you earned that I was so like I've made it you earned that I don't even have to have a ticket you know how much those tickets were? no they were like let's get Mariska her chair just get her her chair I was like the old woman I didn't even mind you went by yourself and I'm going in with a cane that is a 27 times I know and I just had this great actor on SVU last episode and he's now in the show and so he was like and I go oh I'll be there so I'm it's even a thing where the new cast members want me to come see you oh that's so have you ever done Broadway? Broadway? yes that's how that's how you're supposed to say it well thank you Broadway that's how they used to say it I know I want to do Broadway Broadway I want to be in an all-woman Hamilton fuck right? you and me with straight talk? okay who would we do? we would be Aaron Burr and and and Hamilton well who's who? let's get let's take a minute let's go slow let's go slow slow it all down right now who's who? Aaron Burr cause I think I I think I think you might I think I might be Aaron Burr I that's what I was gonna say you swear? yes and not just cause I want to be Hamilton I want you to be Hamilton I think you are Aaron Burr and I feel like I could get the rage I I think I think you have a gravitas that that Aaron Burr needs cause and I think I have a like a like a I know all the lines though do you? an energy I don't know all the lines okay I get you maybe you should do both but you just do there and then you lip sync to me on the stage but the only problem is one thing I can't sing you can't sing no but maybe we do it like in top speed well God is fair we don't need to you can't sing one thing you can't do babe we can't sing we can't sing one thing you can't sing oh that's funny ask me more questions okay okay um okay what's making you laugh these days what do you I ask I always ask my guests what do you like what do you listen to do read like you know to to lighten up to laugh Nate Vargasi oh love Nate he's my fave he's so I'm so I don't even know I don't even understand what he's doing okay let's break him down because I love him well it's the it's he's like mastered this like kind of slow guy that's a genius right that's the shtick right he's kind of slow and dumb but he's smarter than everyone yes I love him so much and can I tell you why also I love him I was at in LA I didn't know who he was and I was with my friend and she said I think that's Nate Vargasi and I said who's Nate Vargasi and he goes that's August his favorite comedian so I went up to him and I go are you Nate Vargasi hoping I'm saying it right he was like we're shooting right now you have to and he goes yeah I am and I go well I my son loves you can we call him Mariska you did not no I swear to you I swear to you I did and you know why I did it because do you know how many people do that to me and I thought that I had good karma I had good call karma and you know what he said yeah and so we called him and I'm like August you did not Nate Vargasi and he's like hey man I love him love him he's so funny yeah do you watch a lot of stand up do you like to go to see stand up I love good I love good comedy it's my happy that is my happy place August that's what we love but I'm also critical yeah because they're not funny and I don't know who I have to judge you can judge as much as you want I guess what I like I feel like comedy is like music yeah that's true you just like who you like you like what like you like their song whatever it is I love it and I love Nate and I love you know what I'm listening to later in life before I go to bed I don't know why I love it so much is that Jim Carrey bit doing Vanilla Ice hold on okay it's an in living color sketch yes this is it and he's dancing watch just listen oh my god he really looks like him he kicks he kicks his shoe off just watch is that not the best thing this was so fun I know but do you think can you imagine how excited because I said I used to see you around well we I don't even I don't see you anymore and I remember I remember what do you remember just that you're good and sparkly and beautiful and kind and you bring joy thanks Mariska and Chris doesn't like anyone yeah he really is a very judicious guy and he loves his family he loves his kids and he has like three friends he likes me yeah and that's pretty much it so and I just remembered like he just loved you oh that's nice and so I it's um that's very nice to say I was so funny that I called him today okay Mariska you're the best this was so fun I told you she's like are you ready I was like sweetheart I'm born ready thank you so much Mariska that was so fun that was such a good hang and you know in this polar plunge I just want to take a second to say let's picture a world in which Cate Blanchett plays Mariska Hargitay in a movie of her life story because I would watch it and if there's any producers or financiers listening who want to partner up with me on that and Cate if someone can get this message to Cate I think that that would be a great project and I've been asked before if your life was a movie who would you want to play you and my answer is very simple and that is Meryl Streep I don't know I want the best and I can't guarantee the movie will be good or interesting in any way honestly it'll probably be a flop but Meryl at the helm it's going to be a good performance so Meryl Cate and Meryl I'm assuming you're together please please call us at 1-800 good hang the movie hashtag Mariska Hargitay's movie hashtag slash life life life rights and we'll get this going okay sorry I've lost I've lost the plot okay bye thanks for listening bye you've been listening to Good Hang the executive producers for this show are Bill Simmons Jenna Weiss-Berman and me Amy Poehler the show is produced by The Ringer and Paper Kite for The Ringer production by Jack Wilson Kat Spillane Kaya McMullen and Alea Zanaris for Paper Kite production by Sam Green Joel Lovell and Jenna Weiss-Berman original music by Amy Miles I love you the one who was a really good hang Pink Panther is here Coach and Spotify are teaming up to bring music and style together and they want you to be part of it grab your friends and head to the Tabby Tour hitting cities around the country with live performances from special artists exclusive experiences and personalized products and discover custom playlists on Spotify built just for you based on who you are and how you listen live your story with Coach learn more at coach.com Coca-Cola for the big for the small the short and the tall peacemakers risk takers for the optimists pessimists for long distance love for introverts and extroverts the thinkers and the doers for old friends and new Coca-Cola for everyone pick up some Coca-Cola at Coach.com At a store near you.