Marie Faustin Returns

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I woke up like a couple hours later and I could see every crack and crevice and dust bunny in my bedroom and I was like, this is how I live? I gotta make a change. Yeah. I hope your landlord doesn't need anything serious. I think she needs my lease renewal. No. Are you gonna do it? Well, yeah. You can stick around. I gotta. I need to bring my credit back up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What happened to it? Well, you know, I watched it plummet because I watched a TikTok that said, do these three things and you can get these things removed off your credit report. And I was like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I need that. I'm on Experian.com or whatever the hell. I love the idea of you immediately hitting Experian and just being like, all right, what can we do here? Literally, I felt like one of the hackers in the truck. Outside while a heist is being done. I'm like, you know. See if I can move back. We're locked in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm locked in. And then I literally just watched my credit score go down every day. Okay. I refused to pay my student loans. And I was like, it's about to fall off the credit at any time. And Experian didn't do what it was supposed to do. Uh-uh. Well, maybe you did a hard check. Is that considered a hard check or a soft check? I don't know what that means. Do you know about those? See, I had to learn that the hard way because there's hard checks on your credit and soft checks. And I thought. I thought, any time someone checks your credit, no big deal. It's just a number that sits over there. No, if they're checking it for like a loan or something and you don't get approved, it's a hard check and it can actually bring your credit down, which I didn't know. Only if you don't get approved. I think. But I also think maybe just the check itself can bring your score down. I think I'm right about this. Right. I've always heard any time you check your credit score or it gets checked, it gets affected. Which is crazy. These are so made up. It makes me so mad. It makes me so mad. I only got but, you know, 600 of these points. Why are y'all checking it? I'll tell you what it is. I'll tell you what the points are. Yeah. Also, do you know how high your credit score can be? Like the top of it? Is it 750? 800? No. What is it? I think it's 900. No. I think it's nine. See, I'm in a situation where I don't even know my credit score. Okay. I haven't checked on anything in a while. No soft check, no hard check, no medium check. No checks I'm thinking about. I'm not looking at it. Once I got business managers, I said, you guys tell me if there's a problem and otherwise I'm staying out of it. That's how you know you've made it a business manager? I know. I was poor my whole life and all I ever did was think about my finances. The second I got to stop, believe I did. They could be robbing me and I have no idea. Chance, what's the highest credit score you can have? 850. 850? Damn. I know. I didn't even know it could go that high. I wonder what I have. Yours is probably good. I think it's good. I'm sure the business managers have it. It was not my whole life, but I think it might be good now. I bet they figured it out. Yeah, I think I'm in like the mid to low sixes. I don't think that. I've heard horror stories and they did not start with a six. Oh, well. It just got up to sixes. We got it back up there. It's so crazy because it goes down so fast and then it goes up like. And it's made up. They just made this stuff up to hurt us. I'm like, y'all need to stop doing this. It doesn't make any sense. Do I have money or not? Quit it. Right. Because I'm like, I have the money. Right. I just don't like paying my bills on time. Now, why is that your business? Right. Stay out of that. Because you'll get the money when you get the money. And actually, when I pay. I pay right before they cut my stuff off. So, you're getting a book drop. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll be in like six months. Yeah, that whole amount you needed. You got it. Yeah. Don't spend it all in one place. You. I'm trying to decide what we should talk about first. They are spending it all in one place. Executive bonuses. You said that you wanted to air me out or something. You wanted to ask. You wanted to get in my business. Yeah, I want to get in your business. Get in my business. Let's do it. You know, I feel like you've been globetrotting. You're on all the lists. You got a beard now. You're a completely different person. Okay, full honesty, because I know you would be real with me. How are we feeling about the beard? I saw you last night and I said, I like the beard. Really? I like the beard. Okay, interesting. Yeah. You know, beard is contour for men's faces. That's right. I'm getting some good feedback on beard. I'm feeling good about it. But I know you would tell me. I know you would give me the truth. I love facial hair. All right. Okay. I love facial. You know, the men are going to Turkey to get the beards to connect now. Really? It's not just up here. It's face follicles now, too. Really? Well, I think I got to start on the beard because my whole life I've had a little bald spot on the top of my head. No. And it's getting a little bigger. And I said, you might want to start working on that facial hair. But now how tall are you? I'm 6'2 or 3", something like that. No, you feel taller than that. No, that's it. That's it? 6'2 or 3". That's what I got. Maybe you'll be having a little platform Doc Martin on when I see you. When you're this tall, people can't see your bald spot. Well, not usually, except on camera. So when I do acting jobs, they take this little old like powder gun and powder, black powder onto my bald spot. So it looks like my hair is all there. And that's really annoying because anytime I touch it, it gets all over my hands. That's gender affirming care right there, babe. That is gender affirming care. And I want to go buzz cut beard. That's where I eventually want to get to. Buzz cut with beard. I think I could rock it. Buzz cut beard is definitely a type. Yeah, and I want to get involved. Okay, you're going to G.I. Jane it? You're going to do it live? No. Unless. Watch, watch. Some brand is going to hear this. And hit us up and be like, so we have an idea. Caleb shaves himself on our Instagram live. And he mentions us 12 times. The brand's got to back up. No, they might need to step up. I mean, if they have. It depends on what the money is. The brands have the money. They have it, but. And I'll agree to do a brand deal. And in real time be like, future me is not going to be happy about this. And then when it's time to do the video, I'm like, I'm just doing this for the money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Crying my way through it. It's too much. Get ready with me to go to. Performance phase. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it hurts me more than it hurts y'all to watch. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, just know, when I was doing it, I felt bad about it. Yeah, I felt bad that I was doing it. And then we take an ad break right here on the pod. Yeah. Kick over to those ads. Oh, my God. How did your. You just did a show. Was it for Tubi? It was cool. We did three episodes. Let me move my knee. I don't want to block my chin. Yeah, we did three episodes and we might be doing some more. How was it? I don't like watching myself. Really? Yeah. You're so charming and beautiful and smart. I find that hard to believe. Yeah. Thank you. These are facts. Thank you for saying that in front of the fire. You're exactly right. But yeah, I think it's ADHD. I have a lot of executive dysfunction, but I had my first appointment with a psychiatrist yesterday because we getting me some drugs, bitch. Hey, what kind? Well, I guess. I have to do other stuff before they tell me what I'm going to do. They're going to figure that out. Right. Right. But it's so funny. Are you on anything? Adderall, Vyvanse, something like that? You just. You get stuff done just naturally? It takes a lot of work, but I do. Work is hard. I know. No, I had an appointment with this lady and as soon as I get Adderall, it's over for you, hoes. I think maybe. Have you done Adderall a lot? I mean, I've done other people's Adderall. Right. It wasn't effective. Really? So what makes you think yours is going to be. I believe I'm stronger than Adderall. Okay. So you think there's like an extra strength Adderall laying around that you haven't gotten your hands on maybe? I just think that the right concoction hasn't found me yet. It's different when you take somebody else's pills. Yeah, of course. Because I'm doing them like Skittles. Yeah. And I don't think that's how you're supposed to take them. No, certainly not. And are they going to be combined with something else? Do you think you need more than an ADHD? Do you need a depressant, an anxiety? Hey, baby, I'm not a doctor. Yeah. Let me tell you what Dr. Krista told me yesterday. She said we're going to. Because I'm also self-diagnosed ADHD. Right. So I'm telling these people all my business so they give me the good drugs. Right? I'm like, yeah, I think when I was a kid is the first. I'm telling them all my business. And at the end of the call, she goes, yeah, so you have it. Yeah, you got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She said, but you have to take a test to tell us what type it is. And I said, a test? Like a Scantron? Like, what are you talking about? She said it's like a 30-minute video game I have to play. And then the results of that. That will say what it is that I have and what I need. I'm like, a 30-minute video game? Tough thing to put someone with ADHD through. Hey, babe, that's not going to get done for another two months. So we're going to be able to help you. You just got to lock in on one task. Okay, well, that's kind of the whole problem. I'm like, yeah, so. And it's how long? They're like 30 minutes. I was like, and I can't be on my phone while I do this? Right. They're like, we want to help. And I'm like. But once I lock in, it is over for you guys. I'm really excited for you to get the meds. I hope they figure out what particular cocktail you need. Hey, you know, it's a learning curve. I'll take a little bit of this, a little bit of that. Yeah. I don't take anything now. Really? Nothing at all? And I'm operating at like a, I don't know, 10% of my usefulness, I feel like. You think? I don't think. I'm maybe like 35. Yeah. I'm not really working that hard. What's not getting done that you want to get done? Can I ask that? My taxes. Right. Okay. Primarily my taxes. My taxes. I used to be really good at returning stuff. Like I'd order stuff online and I'd like return it. My printer ran out of ink. And that was the end of that. And I just never got ink again. And now the boxes are piling up. Or I go to my gym to print stuff out there. That's good. Yeah, but they don't really love that. They're like, are you a member here? I'm like, yes. Yeah, I am. And I check in and then I'm like, can I print some stuff out here? Yeah. And they say yes, but they don't, they mean no. I asked to print. I printed a script at a coffee shop I go to a lot one time. I was like, I know y'all got a printer back there. Can I print a script? It's only 15 pages. And I go in there all the time. And I'm very friendly. And they're like, uh, we guess. And I was like, why is this so contentious? The amount of money I spend on coffee in here, I can't get 15 pages one time? They said the tariffs had made the price of the ink real high. I was like, hey. But yeah. The printer running out is a thing I've run into. Getting the packages returned at all is hard for me. God bless Michelle. She returns them now. But before Michelle, I was really not returning. I gotta get me a Michelle. You need a Michelle. But I also, that's the other thing. I know I need an assistant. The process of looking for one and finding it. Also, the ADHD is keeping me from doing that. Yeah. Of course. Yeah. Well, that's the thing. Everything is on the other side of these tasks. I know. And everyone's like, I spoke to this woman. And she was like, as a woman who has ADHD, the older you get, the harder it gets. It gets worse. Why? Everything about being a woman gets worse as you get older. I'm learning stuff. It's about being a woman that I didn't even know. Perimenopause? That's new. What is that? Yeah. Amy Miller was talking about this. Yes. It's like, and I learned it from her. Really? I'm like, so that and then, I don't know, women's bones lose density and they shrink into like little. Is your mom shrinking? My mom? Yeah. Kind of a little bit, actually. Yeah. My mother's shrinking too. She's shrinking a little bit. My mom used to be taller than me and now she, I could put my. When you're hugging her, the chin's on top now? Yeah. But she still thinks she's big. She's shrinking. Really? Yeah. That's interesting. She's in denial as well. I like that. I'm going to try to give her some of my meds when I get them. I need meds for two. It's for me and my mom. For two? Yeah. You don't mind? Interesting. Yeah. Being a woman seems tough. I don't know what's going on over there. I'll look into it. Thank you. Thank you for doing the work. But this girl I spoke to said she started taking Adderall and it's made her life 80% easier. 80? 80. Big number. I said, babe, that's almost 100. She said it's 80% easier. Damn. I said, I got to get in on this. Yeah. And that's why I made the appointment. I'm really proud of you. Two months later. Two months later, we got in there. We saw Krista. Krista. And we're getting into it. Yeah, but I think Krista's new because her supervisor was also on the call. I think I might have been her first call. Really? Yeah. Oh, damn. Yeah. You don't want to be your psychiatrist's first client. Not at all. Or last. You know what I mean? You don't want to be the last client. Like, oh, you were the last person before they figured out that person shouldn't have a license. Yeah. Oh. You want to be smack dab in the middle. of some clients. Yeah. It's like the pit. Wait, is it like the pit? I've never seen the pit. You've never seen the pit? No, but from what I understand, they're just doing surgery over there, right? Yeah, but it's crazy surgeries. Right. OR. Or not OR. What? ER. Are they in the emergency room? Or no? Yes. Okay. All I know about the pit is each season is 24 hours. Oh. Like, each season is one shift at the hospital. Really? So, the episodes are like. No one's ever pitched this to me. Each episode is a different hour of the shift. Wow. Yeah. That's crazy. Isn't it? I had surgery a couple weeks ago. On what? I got my tonsils taken out. Oh, okay. Bad. Okay, bad? Marie. Even though you got the good insurance? Oh, I got. Yes, and I went to a good place and they can't stop it from being two open wounds in your throat for two weeks. It was horrible. Well, are your tonsils. They're up. You got yours? You got your tonsils? Yeah, but my tonsils are real tiny. Really? They're real demure. Congrats. I have tonsils. They're just little, little tiny tonsils. You got tonsils. Mine were big. And guess what? I thought of it because my nurse was clearly new and the way I know is she took my blood and she goes. After she takes my blood, she's kind of quiet for a second and my mom is a nurse and my mom was sitting there with me and my mom was like, you know, talking to her about nursing and she was asking my mom a bunch of questions about nursing, what kind of nursing my mom has done throughout her career, you know, and now she takes my blood, she goes, you know, I guess for either of you but maybe Kelly, mostly for you, just scale it one to ten, how do you think I did on drawing that blood? Scale it one to ten? How do we think you did on drawing the blood? You're not confident that you drew the blood good? She's covered in blood. She's like, how y'all think I did? She's drinking it. Truly. She's like, she's like wringing out her shirt. She's like, how did that go? She's like. I was like, don't ever ask a patient that in my head. Well, what did Kelly say? My mom was like, my mom was like, you did really good, hon. My mom's like trying to, you know, but I was like, I don't know about all this. That's the nurse who did the lethal injection for that lady the other day. What happened? Oh, the prisoner? Yo, did you see that? No. I mean, I knew that she like survived it or something, but what. Well, I mean, first of all, this lady was on death row for 30 years. Right. So they had 30 years to practice. Right. They had 30 years to take the poison out the freezer to defrost it or whatever they needed to do. Whatever needed to happen, yeah. 30 years to figure out where the veins are. Yeah. So she has a last meal. She says her last words. I don't know what they are. Yeah. Right? And they give her the lethal injection in one arm. She don't die. They say, that might be her strong arm. Yeah. No. Let's see what this arm's talking about. No. They do it on the other arm. Same time? She doesn't die. They put her in an ambulance. I'm like, why? Yeah. At this point. They should have put her in an Uber pool. Yeah. Don't waste the money. They should have given her one of those diarrhea salads from the summer. Have you seen Your Mother, Your Mother, Your Mother yet? No. What's that? Your Mother, Your Mother, Your Mother is Mahershala Ali's new movie and it's amazing. Okay. But there's a. I won't say it, of course, for people who haven't listened. I don't want to spoil. But it makes me think of that. There's a moment in the movie that is identical to this that I'm like, maybe they were predicting something. Maybe something's about to start happening with death and who can die and who can't. Maybe she's some sort of prophet. That's all I'm saying. The lady that. They gave her a lethal injection twice and she didn't die. You better start worshipping that bitch and put her picture up. Then they put her back to jail. Well, they need to let her out. I'm sorry, but if you get. This should be the rule. If you get the death penalty, I don't care what you did. If you get the death penalty and they give you two lethal injections and it doesn't work, you get a do-over on freedom. Well, at this point, first of all, I want to know what her first words were when she came back. Right. Because the final words, whatever. What's the first. First words when you realize you didn't die. Nice try, bitch. Is this hell? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or she said, what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. Send me back to that jail. And then she flexed her arms and claws came out of her hands because she's a super. She's a super villain now. Yeah. They made a mutant. Yeah, that's real. I mean, I really do think if you survive a lethal injection twice, we got to give you a do-over. Why don't you try some new stuff? At life. Start a church. No. Do something. No. That's crazy. A lethal injection twice. Those are designed to kill you. And now they're trying to decide if they're going to give her a third one. And it's like, I think she just got to stay where she's at. Where am I and who are you were Pike's first words. Oh. Where am I? That makes sense. Who are you? Oh, murder and torture. I should probably look into this show. You just said. Murder and torture. You know what? It doesn't matter what you did. If you survive, you get to leave. Yeah, but I forgot you could torture somebody. Yeah. Murder I get, but torture, why'd she. Why'd she. She tortured her classmate. I need to look into this show. It was like a girl she thought was flirting with her boyfriend in high school. Torture is crazy. Yeah, torture is crazy because that's. Murder is one thing. Because murder feels like, you know, it could have been an accident. Right. Torture, you doing that on purpose. Murder is like you could have gotten caught up in the moment and kind of forgot this was a human being standing across from you. Torture is like you're Jigsaw. That's crazy. Torture is like you're going back in every once in a while and being like, I found a new idea. Torture is, let's play a game. It's creative. Murder could be, oops. Yeah, whoops. I thought that was the break. Really my bad. Yeah. Torture is like you really were having some fun with it. That's crazy. Also, there's crimes of passion. There's no torture of passion. No. Torture is really, really, really strange and bizarre. I'm not on her side. I don't, I think, but I also don't support the death penalty. So I'm in a weird place with it. I don't support the death penalty at all, actually. I think it should be a different type of death penalty. How do you mean? Like dodgeball, but some of the balls got smashed bikes in them or something. If you can, if you can outwit, if you can, yeah. If you can dodge a hammer, you can live. You're good. Right. Yeah. So you're basically creating the movie Saw. But dodgeball. But dodgeball. Saw starring Will Ferrell. It's Saw starring Will Ferrell. We're going to do fucking Globo Gym. Vince Vaughn and Ben Affleck, not Ben Affleck, Ben Stiller. One of the Ben's. One of the Ben's. I'm getting older, dude. But you know what's crazy about getting older, too, is our celebrities are also getting old. They're getting old. Isn't that wild? I'm looking at some of these folks and going, how did. Because I've just been watching a movie of them when they were 25 for 20 years. Right. And I'm like, all of a sudden, you're 71. Okay, Bruce Willis. Let's talk about it. Bruce Willis. I didn't even realize he used to have hair. He had hair. He had hair. He had hair. I'm going to fucking cry. It was kind of. Yeah, it wasn't always. No, it looked kind of like that. Yeah. It wasn't approaching us. It was kind of. He needed all of these hats, but. But he had some hair up there. He had some hair, and then he went bald, and now he's. What? He's. He's really old and sick. Yeah. Yeah. It makes me really sad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I heard when it was getting really bad, he wasn't able to memorize his lines, so they had to line feed him. Yeah. And now he's just done. Gotta be, yeah. It's wild. I read a devastating quote the other day. Oh, devastating. It was devastating. You know what? I'm not even going to find it, but it was basically like. I forget which actress it was. It was an older actress. And maybe Judy Dennehy. I don't want to describe someone wrong, but she was talking about how she's like, I can't memorize lines anymore. I can't really see. So I can't act anymore, which is my favorite thing. And she said, she can't really see anymore, but she's still alive. And she was like, they say that the bluebells were brilliant last spring, but I wouldn't know. And I was like, hey, so that's actually the most devastating fucking thing I've ever heard. I don't know what a bluebell is. It's like a flower. It's like a flower. Oh, I was thinking a baby bell cheese. That's simply gorgeous. Beautiful. And also it would be sad. I was like, that is devastating. I don't want to lose sight of that. I want a P.O.C. cheese. I love. Did you ever. I used to chew on the package. No. Because I thought it was. I liked the texture. I wasn't trying to eat it. I was just. It would be like a toy for me. I was like, put my teeth imprints in it. I've never done that. I always turn them into little cubes. Really? That's my thing. I would do that after. I would put my teeth prints in them and be like, that's neat. And then I'd fold them up. And now you got wax all on the front of your teeth. I get that off. I get it off. I'm strong. I'm going to be a little bit vulnerable with you right now and say that I also can't really see right now. What? So I got LASIK like, I don't know, 10 plus years ago. Yeah. And when I first got LASIK, I was seeing better than 2020. Really? Oh, I didn't even know you could do that. Right. I got the surgery and I was like, oh my God. Like seeing through walls type shit. Like I felt like, you know? Yeah. I felt like I needed. Glasses to keep myself from being able to see through people's stuff. And I remember my doctor was like, this is not your final vision. Your eyes, your vision is going to change. And I was like, shut up, Dr. Castor. Like, I can see your dick. Like that's how good my vision was. I'm in there. Yeah. I can see through the lab coat and the jeans. And then. He's wearing jeans. He's wearing a lab coat and jeans. I had a cool doctor. This was in LA, so. I can see through that lab coat and those JNCOs. Yeah. He's wearing cool jeans. I can see through your Levi's 501s. Yeah. And. Wait, do doctors not wear jeans? That's crazy. I've never seen a doctor in jeans, but I love the idea of like a cool doctor who's wearing like, yeah, fucking wranglers to work. Wait, so the lady who drew your blood, she had on jeans? No, she was wearing full scrubs. Thank God. Oh, that's true. The jeans would have really pissed me off. It is scrubs. The jeans would have put me in a crazy different space. If I'm about to go under anesthesia and you come over wearing jeans, I'm going to be like, I'm going to go under anesthesia. I'm going to go under anesthesia. If I'm going to go under jeans, I'm getting off the table. But what if it's like a designer denim? What happened with your eyesight? Oh. Listen, as soon as I get the Adderall. I'm going to get involved in the medication conversation. As soon as I get the Adderall, we'll be able to have a linear conversation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, they just said as you get older, the shape of your eyes is going to change and your vision is not going to stay the same. So, you know, over the last couple of years, like. I can't see perfectly anymore like I could. And I went to the eye doctor to get an exam and I tried to cheat on that exam. Yeah. You know, they're like, cover your eye. And I'm like, eee! They turn back around and I'm like trying to like squint at the thing. Anyway, I need glasses again. Okay. And I know I need glasses, but I still don't want to wear them. Why? Because I don't want to go back there. But at nighttime, I'll be. What's going on in here? Who's with me? People will be like, Maureen, is that you? And I'll be like, I don't know who that is. Yeah. I can't see. I heard the bluebells is beautiful this time of year. I wouldn't know. I wouldn't know. See, to me, it's about. To me, the reason that's so profound is not like they're. Of course, blind people exist and they have a beautiful experience of the world too. I just mean to have your whole life to have access to something. Yeah. And then because of this beautiful privilege of aging, there's also these like really hard and like grieving. Things that you have to. Grieve of like, okay, it's a privilege to get older. Thank God I'm still here. But also, I'm losing these things that used to be like huge touch points for me and what it meant to be alive. Yeah. That fucks me up. Yeah. Getting older is a gift, but also kind of a curse. It's horrible. Because it's like, it's your privilege to age. Yeah. But yeah, like stuff is falling apart. Yeah. Literally, our bodies are like betraying us. Yeah. You know? Yeah. It's just, it's like you can't hang on to it forever no matter what you do. I know. And I. Like for a very long time was the type of person who like on a public toilet seat, this might be TMI, I would just kind of like hover because I had a good core. Yeah. But the other day I needed to pee and I felt myself. I said, I guess I'll put some tissue down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let me get one. Yeah. Let me get one of those little. Laying out different rectangles on the whole thing. Yeah. And then you try to sit and one goes in and you're like, I guess I'll just sit on the toilet like this. Oh no. But yeah, me as an older person hovering, it's not in the cards. Yeah. It's not going to happen. It's scary to me and I want it to happen. I want aging to happen to me. I really like being alive. I'm really not into the alternative at all anymore. Thank God. Sure. Anymore. Sure, sure, sure. There was a time where I was a pretty obsessed with the alternative, but yeah, I like living and I want to be here, but God, I get so. Sometimes I'll sit at like lunch or dinner with an older friend. I'm lucky to have some older friends in my life. And I'll look at this person across the table who's like 73 from me and I'm like, someday I'm going to be 73 sitting across from someone who's 31. And I'm like, did it just go like that for you? Were you just me on this side of the table? And they're talking about something lighthearted, by the way, and this is what's going on in my head. Right. So then I have to kind of get back into like, yeah, the credo is amazing. You know, like I have to like, I have to snap back into normal mode because I'm having thoughts about both of our mortality. Well, I mean, anytime I see a page where like they're talking to an older person and they learned or what they thought or what, you know, for whatever, it's always like, well, you know, I'm 63, but I don't feel 63. And I'd be like, well, you look 63. But it's that I think something. Yeah, I think something happens where people I think I think it shuts off at some point for some people. And then they go, oh, yeah, the last 30 years have just felt like I felt I felt 28 since I was 28. Well, yeah, when we're older, time flies more like October. Do you even remember October? No. No. That was literally the fastest month of the year. Yeah. And now it's about to be 2027 or it is 2027. I don't know. I'm really not sure. Yeah. Scary. This episode is brought to you by Hinge, folks. We all know dating can be a daunting and difficult thing to navigate. But thankfully, our friends at Hinge are here to help. Hinge is the dating app designed to be deleted. It's for people dating with intention, going on dates, putting themselves out there. Hinge is designed for finding connections. Now, stop me if you've heard this one. You're sitting with a friend. Having a post-date debrief. And they say that at first, things were going well. But then they find out they're not aligned with the other person as far as what sort of relationship they're looking for. 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frames at an affordable price warby parker is covered by major eye insurance plans oh good they make it incredibly easy to use just enter your information see if you're eligible for benefits on frames contacts or eye exams and if you are they automatically apply them for you now this is the important part i'll say this one word for word right now buy one prescription pair and get 20 off any additional prescription pairs at warbyparker.com slash so true if you didn't catch it that's 20 off additional prescription pairs when you go to warbyparker.com slash so true ciao but when you're young time is so slow i remember i used to count the days till christmas yeah or count the days until xyz happened and it felt like it was so long now i look up and i'd be like what day is it what year is it how did this happen what time is it yeah young man what day is it and it's christmas it's christmas every time and he's it's a doctor in jeans and he goes ma'am you're waking up from surgery it's okay a doctor in jeans is crazy because i thought they wore jeans but you're right they do wear scrubs no i loved it i was really into it i was hoping it was true yeah on the pit i think they were jeans dr denim dr denim i want a cool doctor that when he's giving me my lab results his he's on the chair backwards yeah he's sitting on it like a cool sub yeah yeah he wheels in a tv he's like let's talk about your broken bones we're worried i'm gonna be real with you i'm gonna be completely real with you but i do have a couple pairs of really cute glasses i just have to wear them oh yeah you're gonna you're gonna look fierce in those glasses i can't wait you're gonna you're gonna turn it into a moment you always do yeah but i just i don't want i want i want to be able to see well forever yeah from from far see i love my glasses i would never i don't think i would ever get the corrective surgery do you wear contacts at all no never i don't like having shit in my eyes i'm scared i'm scared of having stuff in there i don't like putting stuff in my but how bad is your vision like if you took these off could you still see me you want to see yeah i can see you imagine i put them on and they're my exact prescription i couldn't bitch did that help was it helpful or was it weird it was a little bit helpful damn that's not good yeah that's not good you hate to see it it was really clear but i'll say this about the lasik while you look over there is the ghost no i was seeing i was seeing writing i was like how good can i read that i started to worry about my vision i went inward for a moment but then i was back with you quickly you saw how quick that was i did but it made me go i thought you were trying to ellen degenerous me like there was somebody someone pops out of the plant yeah scares the hell out of you there's a trap door right here yeah uh what was i just talking about hey dumbass listen once i get on the what was marie saying right before i accidentally looked away do you remember you're talking about the vision your vision the surgery oh the surgery was really cool yeah it was really really cool they lay you on your back they never even touch you there's like a laser on the ceiling that's very fuzzy and it blinks a couple times and then it's clear it's like the surgery is like five seconds on you're awake you're awake and what are you seeing during this can you see this red light on the ceiling that's flashing yeah it's like a red light on the ceiling that's flashing yeah it's like a yeah because like they what they do with lasik or when when i did it back in my day when i got amazing the technology probably changed now chat gpt doing it um but yeah they measure your eyeballs you take a bunch of tests they measure like the depth and the thickness and the size of your whatever and then they type it all into the computer and then the laser does all the work and then you're done and when you you go to sleep and wake up you can see perfectly you didn't have glasses oh i had to wear the goggles and i couldn't get water in my eyes for like a couple of days really but it's not something that i was actively doing yeah you know what i mean just like spraying water into my eyeballs yeah it's not us but i went to sleep i woke up like a couple hours later and i could see every crack and crevice and dust bunny in my bedroom and i was like this is how i live i gotta make a change yeah yeah i had to start with the man in the mirror babe i said this is great now that i can see him yeah it was bad and now i feel like my vision is not that crisp anymore so i'll be in my house like i know it's dirty in here i know it's hairs yeah on the floor that i missed when i swept that's all right i just i just blow on it that's okay that's gonna be fine leave those hairs put those glasses on when you're ready you take your time thank you yeah i'm supportive cut to me getting in the wrong uber for the rest of the year for marie hello i'll take you too no sometimes i get in cars that are not mine i get in cars that are not mine i get in cars that are in ubers have you ever done that oh yeah and people get mad oh they be pissed which totally understandable hey babe why do you drive this car this is a uber car you are in an accord babe why are you in a honda accord why are you in a honda accord if you got a toyota corolla that's idling on on my block yeah i'm gonna get in it also babe or or a toyota sienna a lot of siennas siennas are doing a lot of work for this city siennas for the city toyota sienna is the leading that have a smell to them. Oh, my God. And the Ubers are getting smellier. Can we talk about this? They got a smell to them. Have you ever gotten into an Uber that smelled so bad that you had to get out? No, I've always been able to power through. Have you had to get out? No, but I've gotten into Ubers that, like, as I'm sitting down, I'm already rolling that window down. Yeah, I mean, before I get fully sat in the seat, I'm already. Before, I'm already. I'm leaning in. The door is still open right here. I'm in the body. And I'm hitting it with my foot. I'm kidding. I'm getting both of them, both sides. I'm trying to get a cross breeze back here. I'm like, bring back the little shower curtain from the pandemic. The force field. The app work curtain, yeah. Well, yeah, some of the drivers were literally just taping. Taping them up, yeah. They were using nail glue. Yeah. And now we just. It's free. The breath is hot. The air is hot. I can't even vape back here. I don't like that. Your car is going to explode. I don't like that. I had a really sweet Uber driver the other night who his phone rang, and he goes, excuse me, sir, would you mind if I spoke with my friend for a little bit? I love when they ask. And I said, oh my God. I didn't even want to cry. I was like, please speak with your friend. I'd be like, put it on speaker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, we're both going to talk to your friend. I love being in other people's phone conversations. Oh, yeah, it's the best. Yeah. Except when I'm not in the mood, and then it has to stop. Yeah, hey, can you wrap that up? I don't. You know what? My mom, I used to get so fucking mad at her as a kid because we'd be on some long drive, and she would take a phone call with someone that she wouldn't put it on speaker. So I'm only hearing her side of a conversation. And after 15 minutes, I would start just like out loud being like, please hang up, please hang up, please hang up. Because I'm like, I can't listen to music. I'm sitting here quietly. And all I'm hearing her go is, no. Well, I told him. And I'm like, if you don't put this shit on speakerphone or hang up, I'm going to bang my head against the window until I die. That sucks so bad. Right, because you clearly were not an iPad kid. No. You just had to be in the car listening to. Oh, no way. Yeah. Didn't it feel like our mom used to be on the phone all the time? All the time. All the time. It was a constant phone call. And my mom would be on the phone and then hang up and then call me. somebody else to talk about what she just talked about on that last call. Yes. And by the way, we have a life where we have many, many friends, right? Like, we can't even really keep up with all of our friends, which is great and beautiful and wonderful. My mom had four friends. And she was on that phone all the fucking time. Well, the four needed to know what was going on with the other four. That's right. It was Kelly, Kelly, Shelly, and Kelly, Kelly, Shelly, Shelly. Kelly, Kelly, Shelly, and Teresa. Those were the friends. And I'm like, she was on that phone constantly. Crazy. And we're in the background. Are you an only child? Uh, no. In my house, we were in the background making that. She was like, shh, I'm on that phone. You're always on the phone. Or, or the worst part with my mom is we would do something or one of us would get in trouble and she'd be on that phone just telling our business. Let me tell you what Marie did on Thursday. And I'm right here. What are you talking about? Mind you, I can't interrupt her call. Like, I can't be like, mom, mommy. Like, I'm on the phone. You're talking about me. Right. So we're on the phone. Yeah. Yeah. What's up? What's going on? I want to tell my side of the story. There are three sides to every story. Your side, my side, the truth. The truth. And now there's a fourth. Your friend's opinion on it. Yeah, now Shelly, Shelly, Kelly here. Shelly, Kelly, Shelly, Kelly, Kelly, and Teresa are going in about my little story. I didn't like it. It really upset me. Teresa's a good mom friend name. It really is. Because I don't know any young Teresas. That's right. They weren't allowed. No baby Teresas. Mother Teresa, Teresa, um, prostitution whore. You know the Teresa. Teresa, New Jersey prostitution whore. Prostitution whore from New Jersey Housewives. I haven't seen it. That's like her most iconic thing when she flips the table over. She says, you prostitution whore. And she flips a table in a restaurant. I feel so bad. I've never seen it. I'm so sorry. It's from the early the early 90s or something. Whatever the first season of New Jersey. The early 90s New Jersey Housewives show. Famously came out that early. Wait, I was going to ask you. Are you and your mom friends? Would you identify as friends with your mom? Um, sure. I mean, I don't really know too much about my mom from before I was born. I'm not crying. I'm just Yeah. My mom is real secretive. And I feel like some people as their parents get older, they get like looser with the lips. My mom is like even more secretive. I'm like, what happened? She won't tell you. No. Interesting. I kind of like that. I mean, it's mysterious, but like, babe, what's the lore? Yeah. Like, talk to me about who you are and why you're like this. I want to know how we got here. Right. Meanwhile, my aunt, my mother's younger sister, she'll spill some tea. Really? Yeah. Does she spill about your mom or is there a boundary? She'll spill about my mom, but it'll be like a little bit at a time. Yeah. And I'll be like, and then what? And she's like, when she sees I'm too like invested, she'll be like, well, you know how your mom is. I'm like, I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. Write it down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Put it in a burn book. Yeah. Do you think you have one sister? I have a younger sister and an older brother. Um, do you think they're getting the same treatment that you're getting on that front or are they getting more info? Well, my sister and my mom are not in communication at all. Got you. Got you. Got you. My sister's like, I've I've set a boundary. And I'm like, well, you should probably talk to her. You know, you don't know how long she has left. And she's like, she doesn't know how long I have left. Yeah. Period. You know what? That's on Final Destination. Right. Yeah. I love that. She doesn't know how long I have left. I'm like, but they're not speaking. Um, yeah. Interesting. Yeah. I, yeah, my mom and I are in friend territory. Tells me, tells me everything. And I think it's, I would be interested to have a parent who has some mystery. I'm not complaining. I love my mom and I's dynamic, but I'm like a parent with some mystery would be very fascinating to me. Ulta's big holiday beauty sale is back. With weekly deals at up to 40% off. November 29th to December 24th. Shop over 250 deals every week and save on fragrance, makeup, wellness, hair, and more. With points on every purchase. Put a bow on it. Ulta Beauty. Let's be honest. You don't go to the holiday gift exchange just to participate. You go to win. Tis your season to mix it up. Introducing the new Peloton TreadFlex. Our first foldable and movable tread that's just about three feet stowed so you can roll it away. With an ultra quiet and comfortable belt that whispers while you run. Made to fit however you move. And fit to move wherever you like. Let yourself run. Peloton. Explore Peloton TreadFlex at onepeloton.com I feel like if I was a mom, I'd be like a little bit of both. Yeah. I'd keep some stuff for my kids for sure. Yeah. I love a secret. I love a secret. I'm gonna lie to them. Yes. And then lie. I'm gonna lie to my kids. But lie about stuff that you don't need to lie about. That's right. I'm looking forward to it. Like that's how my mom did it. Yeah. Like my little sister has dimples. And none of us, no one else in my family has them. And I was like, I want dimples. And my mom said well you get them like when a baby is new. Just hold on to their faces like this and you squeeze real tight. And then they have dimples. Now why would she tell you that? Because why was she squeezing her and not you? Exactly. Right. Hello. Bitch. Respectfully. I have a black mom. She's not a bitch. But yeah, she said that and for years I believed it. And I went to school and like shared that. I shared that. I went to school and shared some of my ideas. I shared that with my community. Yeah. And everybody in the class was like that's not how that go. My mom said. Oh, we believe everything. Me too. That's the sad part. I know. You think your parents are like true. You're like this is undeniable truth. It came from my parents. Yeah. And then you turn like 11 and you're like, you don't know nothing. Yeah. And then 12, 13, 14 you're like a little terrorist in your house. And then, you know, then you realize none of us know anything. That's really where it gets to. Yeah. The people, yeah, I get the older I get the more I talk to people I have looked up to and respected and I go genuinely no platitude. You all were just. Just actually making it up the entire time and you knew you knew nothing. That's what adulthood is. Yeah. Adulthood is realizing that all of us are kind of just going through the motions and nobody really knows what's going on. The people who seem like they have it the most together I feel like are the people who are I don't know. They're good at pretending or they're good at one thing. They do one thing really, really well and the rest of their lives is kind of in shambles. No key. I asked me this the other day and I kind of liked it. And I'm now I'm wondering it about you. What do you think your life is about? What's Marie's life about? That's a great question. What's the point? What are you? What's it about? I have no idea. Really? I have no idea. But then if every once in a while people will send me messages on Instagram and I'd be like, I'm here to save the world, babe. And I think you are. One, one real one stoner real at a time. Yeah. People be like, yeah, or they'll come up to me at shows and give me like a sob story and I'd be like, um, I did that for you. Right. And it's like, I just, I literally just be high in my apartment and I'd be like, the lighting is really good in here today. Let's do a video. Yeah. Let's go live. Yeah. And people be like, you know, when I was going through what I was going through, I'd be like, I helped me. Yeah. I don't even help myself, babe. I believe it though, because you're so fun. Yeah, I'm fun because for me, I'm like, none of this stuff actually matters. What stuff? Life. Yeah. But like some of the stuff does matter. Yeah. I'm just in my house like none of it matters. Yeah. So. I see it. You're so fun. I really love, I've never had, I've never had a bad energy around you. I just think you're a blast. And you also are so like, I get why someone would have this feeling with you because you make things feel light. I want them to be light. Yeah. I don't want heavy. I don't want dark. I feel like being a child of immigrants is, be heavy. It is dark. My life has been that. And now, you know, through the power of mushrooms and weed and just like living alone and making my own money, I'm like, oh, I don't actually have to like let all this stuff stress me out. But also, I haven't done my taxes in two years. So the taxes do need to get done. They do need to get done. I will bring that into the conversation. Yes. Allegedly. Allegedly I haven't done my taxes in two years. So nobody check in on this, but allegedly those do need to get done. This is all comedy. Yeah. Satire. Satire. Joke, joke, joke, joke, joke. I'm working on a bit. Yeah. This is for my hour. They got done. Don't worry about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody got paid. But also like my life can be like, because I do what I do for a living. Like if I had a job where I was in an office every day, if I had to leave my house and get on a train every day, I wouldn't be this. I'd be, you know, like the rest of the world. And also you, this is the thing though. This is the thing I come back to with that where I'm like, yeah, I have the privilege of being light. That's true. It didn't feel like a privilege when it was really fucking hard and I was busting my ass to get it though. I'm like, you put in the sacrifices and the risk and the like hard work and belief. Back when other people were going to law school and med school and like building up that part of like getting preparing for this part of their life, you were out there risking and sacrificing and putting years of your life into getting here. And so sometimes when I, because I'll stop myself, I'll be like, oh, life can feel like X. And then in my own brain, I go, well, that's easy for you to say. And I go, well, it's only easy for me to say now because I did it when it was hard. So it's, there's this like, do you know what I mean? Yeah. The easy for you to say is a thing I come back to a lot where I'm like, well, yes, I do have certain privileges and that's real. And then also I worked really hard when it wasn't. and easy and so i i come back to this place of like who's to say but you know what i'm saying yeah what i'm hearing is i just gotta keep working even when it's hard you are you're doing it you're fucking doing shows making videos running around you're at everybody's shit you're doing you already are i'm not at everybody's shit i see you at every maybe we maybe we just like the same people i would like to be at everybody's shit but sometimes i'll be at the house and now because and i guess this is a sign of aging too because when you're young you're like i gotta go i might miss something somebody might show up that i want to see but sometimes i'll be at my house and i'm like yeah um if i had gone i know i would have been miserable and i'm glad i didn't go or i'll be at a party now and i'll be like i think i'm ready to go it's time to go i don't need to hang around and see if i miss something i can go now yeah and if i miss something i'll be like oh man where is he well anyway okay i'd like send me the clips and then i'll pretend i was there exactly in my stories i was wanting everyone to stay out the other night we were at a gay bar in des moines for my friend's wedding and i was randomly wanting everyone to stay out longer which is not normally my mode and so i kept everyone who kept trying to leave they'd come up and they go hey i think i'm about to go and i go you can go but i received a prophecy that said that anyone who leaves early will miss out on a big treasure and that was kind of working for me for a second like people that's something they would believe in des moines people were being like okay i was like yeah if you leave i can just feel that like i know the biggest part of the night hasn't happened yet so people stayed and then our friend danced on the pool table for too long and security forcibly removed her and then we all got thrown out of the bar together and i said that's the prophecy that was the prophecy foretold yes yeah and i did people did come up to me and say i'm glad i stayed for the prophecy and i said exactly right now scale of one to ten let's rate the dancing oh she was eating she's a dancer and she was eating down okay and i didn't get kicked out but i was trailing you people fucking suck a beautiful woman can't dance on a pool table at a gay bar what the hell do we have left right oh marie i could get i'm getting hot you threw you you throw the brick you throw a brick through that window a beautiful woman cannot dance on the pool table at a gay bar we have lost recipes what are you talking about we're losing the recipe that's the whole reason a beautiful woman gets out of bed in the morning it's the whole reason all those gay guys got out this is unacceptable you can't kick a beautiful woman out of a gay bar for dancing on a table no that's not right especially if she's killing it eating eating people were throwing money at her getting her drinks taking videos of her it's the bartenders the bartenders were like those could be our tips get her out of here get her out of here oh i was mad you cannot treat a beautiful woman like that at a gay bar she's the whole reason the building stands that should be your subway take i'm gonna run for office i'm gonna run for office in des moines hey 100% agree yeah i'm like that was i was wrong and i was mad about it i was really mad about it yeah i like that i do love a good party and i don't want it to end but sometimes you you gotta leave before it gets too sad oh yeah like at the hang you know um i've decided and i this might be premature to say right here right now but i think that i've decided that i'm gonna have a new year's eve party this year okay are we talking like rent a venue do i think it's got to be somebody's sexy loft yeah a house party is the dream wow um get a bunch of people that i like together with the people that they like and just have like like a like an epic house party this is magnificent news this is magnificent that being said i don't want to plan any of it no so will it happen i knew that you weren't i knew when i heard when i heard you say it i knew that we were speaking in a very hypothetical sense so hold on i might be on i might be on my meds by then but i got excited yeah i know it's exciting i got excited about that always looking for something to do on new year's quite good enough maybe we could collab on something if i'm gonna be in town because you know i do i can make a plan oh that's right i can make a plan and you plan things unmedicated you heard well i got a lot of help i got a lot of help i got michelle oh that's right michelle anna nicole i did say i need to get me one of those michelle you medicated michelle's not medicated so she's really doing something michelle you're young yeah she's not that young damn But that's the other thing about getting older is once upon a time we're young and we're like i'm the youngest person in the world and then you have somebody younger than you and you're like who the hell is this kid what the fuck is going on with this yeah who is this child yeah and they just keep getting younger uh-huh hey i got a question for you you know what you're gonna wear to my birthday party are you it's going to be a costume party again oh yes it is i do you have any rejected halloween costumes that you might spring out for that because i i get excited about your costume well how the halloween party that we went to um this year hours ago hours ago that's spongebob that cunty spongebob there was a sexy spongebob that had a brain for a reason i didn't understand yeah i didn't get that i thought it was pink hair i thought i was like okay a barb that spongebob is a barb yeah the whole but the whole head was a brain i didn't understand the spongebob i didn't understand the brain part but the body was t the boots were like platform like i've never seen a better body sexy brown spandex like uh spongebob squarepants sexy yeah all yellow of course eating eating won the judges contest for the costume but that was great maria antoinette it was a girl with a a high wig with the curls cake for titties i said that's art i liked that and let them eat cake let them literally let them eat cake but they're her titties but they're her titties i love gay halloween i do i love gay halloween it was so special uh yeah so i was inspired i saw a lot of really cool costumes last night um i don't know i think maybe for your birthday party i'll be a peacock or something you were a tweety bird last year no i was tweety bird a couple years ago no but i was tweety at your birthday party too no you were tweety at my birthday party i think oh i might have been tweety at your birthday party i'm pretty sure you were tweety at my birthday party well i still had the costume from a couple years ago so i said i diy'd that that's the thing about a birthday costume party though is people will often in the week of be like oh fuck he wants us to wear a costume and then they gotta find something else quick well did you see the girl who performed um after spike she had like the flowers and the feathers i was like i should be or flamingo i'll be a flamingo for your birthday that'd be cute as hell yeah that'd be really cute some pink tights and i'll just stand like this all night that'd be really funny that'd be really funny i think you should do that that'd be really really funny no i don't know um or just maybe i'll be like a jester january the month after the just a couple weeks after your iconic new year's eve party something to think about something to think about are you gonna do dress code for your party of any kind theme just dress look nice yeah don't show up looking shitty get dressed up i feel like we're living a time well maybe maybe it's mainly like gen z they love a sweatsuit they love a they love a croc yeah hey babe don't come to my new year's eve party in no crocs you will be escorted you will be jazzy jeffed out of here you'll be thrown uncle phil style out of this party yeah out a hundred percent yeah and your crocs will fly through the air behind you yeah because that's ugly it's too casual just look good yeah i can't i i want to agree with you because i love the take and i love how good you always look but we both know that i don't really dress the way that i should be dressing anytime there's a costume party though you show up i'll put on that costume you'll so just treat it like you're wearing a be a king show up to the party i come to your new year's eve party the only person in a costume i will not a problem for me yeah i'll do that that's fine for kayla come to my new year's eve party in no crocs come to my party in full drag yeah yeah you know i've never done drag and i'm scared because i know how good it'll be what i do what do you think your drag name will be well i've experimented there's there's a couple plays on my name that i like kayla baron or kay la baron kayla baron kayla baron is actually kind of sickening i thought of a good drag name the other day and it was the name of that store when we were mama winner mama winner mama winner we were we were passing some like african food store in deep brooklyn that was called mama winner and i was like mama winner is a fierce drag name mama winner just feels like you just want to say it you're like mama winner like i just like that but i've got i've got a list somewhere that could be a lot of different things yeah i really need to use my notes app more yeah i don't do good some people do really good at like the notes they keep or they're like this is my note of drag names like i have a friend who keeps a note of like things they hear that aren't band names but should be that's really fun i do bad at keeping my notes i have a uh things shit shit sid said like stuff sydney says um and i have uh a note of karaoke songs because i never know what to sing when i do karaoke and then i go through the list while i'm there and i'm like i don't want to do none of these songs yeah i don't do none of these songs last night after the party i redownloaded instagram to share some stuff that was fun and then i saw your last post was deleting this again bye and i need to i actually have to i think it's so there's some things on social media that happen a lot that i think are so stupid and one of them is what i did which is being like i'm deleting my instagram again but i actually have to do it in order to make myself do it like there's something about the accountability of being like i am now deleting my instagram or else i won't do it and i need how long of a break do you usually take i need to delete them forever that's what needs to happen that's what we're building towards someday i will never have them on my phone again is my my goal and dream and then a team is just gonna post on your behalf no no eventually no one will post eventually they'll just the podcast page will post and caleb won't post at all caleb just won't post there'll be no posting we'll be in a post posting society you'll be like angelina jolie because she don't post that's very old hollywood there'll be no posting um but for now deleting it's good enough and it's going well it's funny i it's funny i check other things like i i check my texts more often i get back to people more often i check substack which is technically social media but i keep it because i do see a lot of intellectually stimulating stuff on there and not so much slop not that it's perfect but it's more like articles and articles and stuff yeah i thought that's what substack was people who just had like their little newsletters or something it's gotten a little inundated with people like me that are like trying to get off jokes and making the place a little worse but but as a user i do think it's ultimately good um but yeah like subscribe to people's pages yeah okay so it's like only fans but for like people who read writing yeah it's good sam erby has an incredible substack do you know sam yeah her substack was one of my first like my she's been doing it for so long she does like judge mathis episode reviews what yeah she's so fucking funny dude and a lot of my musician friends have good substacks where they write about music which i love do you know in 2020 i said judge mathis was my dad and people believed me really i said judge mathis is my dad and people were like yeah you know marie you do seem like a judge's daughter oh shit what's so true to you oh um hold on i think i wrote this down i like that well because i woke up this morning and i had not thought about it and i was like who's thinking about a podcast before they're on the way not me not me not me um okay i just wrote social media has ruined new york city whoa tell me about it because you're born and raised yeah but i just feel like new york used to be a place where like people were like cool and individuals and kind of did their own thing and now with social media everyone's waiting on the same lines yeah which is insane to me like y'all waiting for half an hour or an hour for yogurt yeah that's crazy yeah but also people move here and they um all look the same everyone's dressing the same and this is kind of like worldwide honestly with social media everyone has like the same style they're all wearing the same baggy jeans they're wearing the same jeans and a black top um and uh yeah i don't know i just i feel like they've i think it's ruined new york it's not a vibe no more like the west village and the east village and all these neighborhoods that used to be like gritty and and artisty and fun are very beige very beige very unseasoned very avocado toast you know um do you agree do you disagree i don't know because i wasn't here so but i'm like it sounds right i do i see i see people dressed all like and i go and i wince i see people waiting in lines for dumb shit and i wince like i yeah it sounds right to me if i'm walking down the street last yesterday i was walking down the street and every other corner i turned there was another line that people were waiting for something else yeah and it's like i already don't believe in lines yeah so anytime i see a line and i'm trying to get inside i'm trying to cut that line yeah or i'm trying to leave immediately oh yeah 100 i like to go right to the front of the line and be like are you gonna make me and my hot friend wait on line and i bet that works that's what makes me sick it works sometimes i bet that works and that makes me sick but if i'm by myself i'm even i'm trying even harder to not wait on that line yeah they're like we're at capacity i'm like yeah but look how tiny i am i'm not gonna take up no space and sometimes the bouncers laugh and they let me in and other times they yeah and i'm like i'm going home yeah actually the tiny line might work for me in a different way yeah i actually might get someone with that i might try that yeah okay how small i am i'm gonna take me i might get a laugh and get in there they're looking up at you like this yeah get in there yeah they're gonna throw me out yeah the lines are too much and i definitely feel even in the time that i've been coming to new york like i've been coming to new york since i was 19 years old and even in that time i have seen things change so i can't imagine for people that were born and raised here it must feel crazy i mean and every every day there's a new article this is the west village girl and it's like that is not the west village girl you know for me it's mainly the lines it's the lines and it's the people that move here thinking it's going to be like what they see on social media and as soon as they get here they start complaining about the people who already live here yeah the complaining about new york stuff is really fucking annoying and what was i thinking when you were saying that like people people moving in oh the fucking man on the street shit has got to stop the man on the street interviews have got to fucking stop going to washington square park and seeing 1200 people with out of the 3 000 people that are there at that moment with fucking tiny microphones shooting content i'm like this fucking sucks get out of here another example of social media ruining the city like because you're we're all in the park either try and take a shortcut or watch people dance or whatever whatever and they're like so what do you think about uh that's all right no and it ruins your it ruins my experience of the park because i'm like i don't want to be in the background of your fucking video like stop filming everything right i'm not supposed to be here i call that a work hello i'm in trouble if someone knows i'm here viral because i'm in the background trying to hide right it just like heightens the feeling of living in a surveillance state it feels like you're constantly at risk of being filmed and recorded and it's ruining the ability to just participate in daily life but i mean even you go to a concert and everybody's phones are up and it's like baby you're not gonna watch this footage at home just watch it now enjoy it now or it's like i'm trying to enjoy it and it's all these phones in my face and i'm just now i'm watching the show through somebody else's cell phone yeah and i'm like i'm so glad you have an iphone 18 because it is okay it is crystal clear but still i'm like you zoom in zoom in right there yeah because i can't see but or people are going to concerts with full um the light please that is so annoying girl why you got a ring light on your face like anyone wants to see you right now but everyone behind you was like this oh you know it was a good concert though when we went to amber mark amber mark was so good we had a so good she turned it out she looked so good she sounded fucking amazing we were such a fun group i know that was a night and we were standing right where we needed to stand yeah that was me you sydney leo and michelle right was that michelle was there michelle was there well michelle you know i can't really see hey girl i've been here for six hours let me see your glasses i love live music yeah i love an artist that's gonna put on a good show have on a good outfit and the microphone is on yeah have you seen zara larson i have not i saw her live i was at lollapalooza and she's so fun to watch and also i didn't know that i knew that many songs from her people are really on the zara larson she started singing and i was like that's zara larson yeah she's been around for like 10 years yeah you get the feeling she's really appreciating the moment she is yeah she's fun that's a lot of fun i liked her and then i saw charlie xex and i was pleasantly surprised really yeah so there was a pause there you was like i was waiting to see because you because you said you did this you go i saw zara larson it was lovely and then i saw charlie xex and i was like okay no charlie i was pleasantly surprised yeah yeah what was the surprise what was the difference between expectation and reality um i thought she didn't really do too much except walk back and forth but it was some choreo she's she's moving up there yes yeah she's throwing the head around i said she must got good insurance yeah because the neck work was working and she does look sickening she does and she's wearing like she's wearing like a boot or a stiletto or something that i'm like huh that i would be in a flat shoe yeah or a kitten i'd be i'd be in a runner i'd be in a trainer if i was doing all that new balance yeah yeah or those little dancer heels that are like this teeny tiny thick ones the dancing with the star shoes yeah exactly right yeah damn i think i need i haven't seen charlie in a minute i saw her on the sweat tour i need to get back to it i think she went out again didn't she since then she had another tour after that yeah i think she's on tour now she has a new album i gotta go back where you want to play a game yes i got a game for you yes you know what i'm gonna read you 10 statements you're gonna tell me as quickly as you can if what i just said was true or false 15 statements actually um you're gonna tell me what i just said was true or false if you get 10 or more correct we're gonna give you 50 us dollars that's enough for coffee you can start picking up the calls from your landlord if you win this are you ready yes green eggs and ham was published in 1960 false true the baltimore orioles have won three world series titles False. True. Florence is the capital of Italy. False. False. It's Rome. I said one of these has got to be false. The Nintendo GameCube is older than Jenna Ortega. I don't know who. True. True. The Seton Hall University's motto is, despite hazards, move forward. True. True. You know what's crazy? I went to Seton Hall. Yeah. I was like, did he just say that? Chance knows that. He knows that. He's doing this shit on purpose. Denny's was originally called Danny's Donuts. True. True. In Air Bud 3, the dog played baseball. What? In Air Bud 3. Is it the original dog or is this his child? It's the third movie. Because dogs don't even be living that long. I'm going to say false. False. It was soccer. Oh, boom. And how does a dog play baseball? You got to check out the movie to find out. We know he played soccer, though, babe. This is how they do it. The dog's like this. Or the dog is in the back like, straight. The dog's like this. He's the umpire. A scalene triangle has two equal sides. Is it saline or scalene? Oh, wow. Scalene has two equal sides. False. False. No equal sides. Okay. Because I know isosceles. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. I know equilateral. Scalene? I don't know her. Scalene's different. T-Mobile is the largest cell phone network in the U.S. That's what Catherine Zeta-Jones be saying. Is that true? False. It's Verizon. Damn. When Catherine Zeta-Jones talks, the whole United States is pink. Yeah. That's making it look that way. Yes. I said the electoral college for the Catherine Zeta-Jones. We got to talk to them. Okay. Here. Okay. Good job, Chance. This is a good one. Haiti is the second oldest independent nation in the Western Hemisphere. No. That's false. It's the first. It's true. Who's the first? The United States. No. Haiti got their independence before America did. Like, Haiti.com said this. Haiti.com. Yeah, but that's run by the United States. Haiti.com. You got to go to Haiti.com. You got to go to Haiti.edu. You got to go to Haiti.Haiti. Saturn is the seventh planet from the sun. Oh, hold on. Wait. Damn. I don't know where Saturn is. My very excellent mother just. No. It's the sixth. False. It's the sixth. Yeah. Hold on. My very excellent mother just served me. Nutty peanut butter. Really? I didn't know this thing. This device. That's how you memorize the planet. Yeah, I didn't know that one. What was it? Never eat soggy waffles. That was the directions one that we learned. Octopuses die after giving birth. That's why they call it octopus. Octopus. Um, false. It's true. So, octopuses don't have moms? I guess not. I guess not. I was really sad to read that. Immediately after. Like, straight after death, straight after birth, we're dying? Hey. That's scary. That's a reason to not do it, babe. Well, right. Live your life, travel the world. Okay. Lyft was originally called RideLink. Uh, that feels true. False. Zimride. Earlobes have no biological purpose. No, mine do. Boop, boop. Stop. I'm going to say, damn, you know, I'm not a doctor, but from the pit, I'm going to say true. It is true. The Bell House opened in 2008. Did it? Did she? I'm going to say that's, ooh, this really could go any way. I'm going to say that's true. What'd you say? True. It's true. Give it to her. Yes. What'd she get? Nine. Oh. Including the Bell House? I'm going to check your work. Check on Haiti. Haiti declared its independence on January 1st, 1804. The world's first black republic and the second independent nation in the Western Hemisphere. Damn, the U.S. didn't get in there. The U.S. didn't get in there. That's sad. I hate to see it. I was rooting for Haiti the whole time. Y'all know that. Me too. Big fan of their work. Yeah, y'all know that. Oh, Maureen, thanks for doing it. Thank you for letting me sit here and have my socks out. And, I mean, I don't know what the shot gave, because for most of it, I was like this. I saw Nicole messing with the cameras. I was like this. For some of it, I was like this. Nicole never says a word, but I know when we have an active in the seat guest, I just see Nicole going. I hope there's not a hole in my pants, and I hope that my fly was not zipped. They'll let you know. Do you want to tell people where they can find you? Yeah, CGI it. Yeah, you can find me at the gym. I'll be working out. Hello. And printing. And printing. At the gym printer. Mainly, I go to the gym to print. You can find me at the gym printer. I'll go in, I print, I leave. But I check in every time. Yeah, of course. Because I need it to show on my calendar that I went to gym that day. Yeah, you can find me at Reezy on Instagram, R-E-E-E-Z-Y, or our podcast when it comes back. We need to talk about mess. I can't wait. We need to talk. We need to talk in a big way. Let's talk right now when we get off this. Thanks for doing it, Marie. We love you. Appreciate you. 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