Marcello Hernandez Doesn’t Hold Back With Bobby Lee

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You can't even hear because your headphones Is here Cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha What those pantalones by squalor Cienega I know La Cienega did you do do the road? That's a street? Yeah, I love the street, dude. Thank you, man Los Angeles is also a Spanish word What does it mean Bobby, uh the Angels? Oh, yeah. Hey fuck you Nicole Kidman class. Oh, yeah Yeah long Yeah, man Okay, bro, what if we put you in a microwave for two minutes It would turn out to be Yes, yeah, you are not you are not Me plus radiation True yeah, that's messed up. It's like So he said yeah, yeah, I know but like what God was making Hispanic people. He was like, I'm gonna put extra No, dude, you're not better Yeah, yeah way better hair than him. Yeah. Yeah, who does yes. Yeah, you do. You have gray hair. Yeah, very nice Yeah, and we get him on whatever you're on and it's gonna be a tough time for the It's gonna be a tough time. Yeah. Are you thinking about doing that losing weight? No, no, no, we don't believe in that. They don't believe in that. No, but he said that he's cute Establishing he's cute. Yeah, he's probably one of the cutest things in the world We were talking about how you either fall under cute or handsome. Yeah, where do I am? I think handsome. Oh, yeah I think little yeah lip. That's the thing. That's why that's I bounce into cute every once in a while Don't if you see me standing up, it's cute. Yeah, I mean sitting down handsome standing up cute. Yeah Cuz the little guy yeah, what's a little guy? I am. Okay. I thought you're talking about something else I'm Latino. Yeah. Come on man. Well give Marcelo a round of applause Like to control everyone I'm Captain Kirk Captain Kirk Captain Korean. Listen this guy here. Yeah. Yeah Yo quiero que tu me digas en el pañol. Describilo Yeah Bueno amigo, mi español no esta muy bueno. Pero bueno amigo, buena persona a veces Dime algo malo Um, esta mucho paro Si? Si, arriba y abajo You know Oh All right, now let's do a reveal I said that this person has a small penis Oh wow. Yeah, he only asked about you. That's funny. That's funny because then what was this one about? He said that um, he said that you're short. He said you're very small on top and in the bottom. *laughter* It's true. Yeah, I love this man. You do? Yeah, I love this and I love George. How do you know George? Because you hate him so much for so many years, you know what I mean? But now that he has confidence, he has a mullet, he's wearing sunglasses inside. He's different bro. I've been watching this since it started. Yeah, wow wow wow wow. I've been watching it since they let you be on camera. It was a different time when I started to watch it. Yeah dude. He goes, but you didn't want you wanted something like this and I like that. Yeah. No, you uh, you did Dax's show earlier. I just did it right now. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Armchair. And his house. And it's nicer than this. *laughter* Yeah, it's a nicer house. He's more successful. Okay, fair enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I brought a bunch of stuff. You know, but what I was going to say. Yeah. What I was going to say. Yeah. I want to say this. That you, um, did you buy new clothes between Dax and here? Uh, no. Because when I walk into the driveway, right, they put that brand new jacket out and they cut the, uh, the, you know what I mean? The price tag. Yeah, right. When did you buy that? No, um, I got it from my, uh, uh. No, when did you buy it? I got it from a, uh, a stylist. Really? I didn't purchase it. Oh, you didn't? But God knows what they're, what they're. Yeah. So you have a stylist and they just kind of go, you're going to wear this for Tiger Belly or? No, no, no. The, the, the stylist, um, they had nothing to do with me today, but I, uh, didn't want to wear the same thing on every podcast. Ah, very good smart. You know what I mean? Because it's different times, different days, different person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I brought, and I brought some stuff. And what'd you bring us? Oh, brother. Yeah. Is this from Zara? It says Marshalls. No, no, no. This is, this is expensive. I went to Marshalls for you guys. Who do you want me to start with? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who do you want me to start? I got some just for this group here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, good. For you three. So who do you want me to start with? Yeah, uh. Jaime. Jaime? Well, Bobby is his podcast. Okay. No, I'll, I'll be last. Okay. Bobby will go last. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to start with, I'm going to start with Jaime. Jaime. Okay. I love this. I got you, I got you this. Whoa. Stand up, stand up. Show it to everybody. Stand up. Show it. Ed Hardy? It's an Ed Hardy hoodie. Oh, wow. Ed Hardy. Isn't that sick? Yeah. Isn't that something? Ed Hardy's come back fully around. It's back, and at Marshalls you would be surprised. Is there a price tag on it? Yeah. Oh, yeah. How much was it, Jaime? I'm not going to say. Okay. No, I want, give it to me. I want to know. No, no, no. Don't, don't. I, I got to know how to do this. You don't need it. I got to, yeah, yeah. Is it under $20? You don't need it because I got one for you as well. Woo! Woo! Ed Hardy did it. Come on, man. You don't need it. I got one for you. Yep. How much? What? How much was it? $19.99. Yes. Thank you so much, Marcel. And then I got you a second gift because it is your podcast, but I'll save it for after. I'll go, go, go. Do you, is there, is there a baby? Does anybody have a baby? Me, I do have a baby. You have a baby, right? Yeah. I knew you had a baby. That's why I asked. Why did you ask? Because I got a baby stuff. Oh! Oh, wow. Thank you. How much was it? Turn it around. There's a price tag in the back, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me see. Oh! How much? You, very expensive, $12. $12! Wow! And I got this for it because I'm a soccer player. Oh, he loves balls. He's going to love the ball. Oh! How much was that? Where did you get the baby, by the way? Um, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, at Marshall's. Okay. At Marshall's. Yeah. So I also got you this for when you want to get cozy. You know, you're a mom. Oh! As a mom, she's going to be cozy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, and then I got, I got this for you as well because this is, this is actually nice. This was nice. Oh, thank you. For $19.99. Thank you. Thank you. For Bobby, I got, I got you this. Okay, okay, okay. One, two, three. Price Picks. Price Picks. Price Picks. Price Picks. This episode is brought to you by Price Picks. Whether you're starting a new routine or making player picks for the first time, trying something new can be hard. But in life and on Price Picks, I always feel good to be right. 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No. This is a four-in-one beast that's sensitive. the gold standard for performance we're talking two ingredients for blood flow to keep you rocket pop pumping pump it up mixed with epinephrine and oxytocin to turn up the arousal and connection in your brain and your listen i'm a 54 year old man and sometimes i have to admit i need help oh yeah with what bluetooth oh and with my i mean a little bit fellow down there and um it really does work and uh i really highly recommend it yeah yeah how long does it work for a long time a very long time guys bluetooth gold dissolves under your tongue it works in as little as 15 minutes that means you can get it on quicker and stay in the game longer elevation without hesitation this is peak passion and peak performance in a single tablet jaime how's this help you i've taken bluetooth many times and every time i've taken some i always sound like a steel can oh yeah wow make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at bluetooth.com we've got a special deal for our listeners get 10 off your first month of bluetooth gold with code belly that's promo code belly visit bluetooth.com for more details and important safety information we thank bluetooth for sponsoring the podcast bobby i got it i got you okay okay look at this tell me this doesn't say bobby lee right here oh shit yeah and i think yeah i think the size is for you before the oz epic but i think it worked yeah this might be the most expensive thing i got yeah i think that was 79 dollars no are you being real it's what it used to cost but at marshalls it's 24.99 ladies and gentlemen i feel like he could wear that as a dress yeah yeah i thought it'd be good so much well you should uh i got some gifts for you i got a real gift for you is that real yeah yeah here it's for my hair care line oh my god and i have a lot of hair and you have really good hair yes oh my god look at this come on dude yeah you don't know what i can do with this yeah very good you got me um what is this deep treatment repair mask yeah yeah for my head you got me a detangling conditioner she thinks i'm tangled a detangling spray oh that's a shampoo shampoo to detangle as well this woman thinks i'm going through a lot yeah and then what is this spray detangling spray yeah you have to unlock well i got some stuff for you you want to see you got me some stuff yeah yeah smell it smell it smell now you're untangled this was so good how does that feel oh my god you wrote a note and i wrote a note can i read it yeah i read it you want to know the people that like it yeah read it it's meaningful oh marcello and anna my girl that's very sweet happy new year please enjoy these products from my hair care line ebb ocean club shameless promotion it's hyper clean hair care no silicones no nasties and reef safe we launch in next month but wanted to gift our friends who inspire us and put good work out into the world love kalilah yeah nice oh my god very good and that'll be one thousand dollars that's awesome dude my girls she's i'm gonna give you my comic you made a comic yeah yeah it's called dead weight are you learning something about them they give me gifts to so i promote it now available wherever you get your you can take them on your next podcast yeah that's what i'm doing of course yeah oh my god look at bob yeah you may and that's nice i love it when someone doesn't make themselves look good in the thing true humanity humility yeah yeah that's a big boy bobby yeah yeah wow so that's lovely yeah and gilbert did we have more gifts from japan oh on the table oh yeah yeah we got you some japanese candy from japan oh my god i want a katsu beef jerky try this one give me the banana katsu we ordered food what is this one that's a shrimp crackers you gotta oh no do you want me to try it yeah and then we got jagabi what's jagabi i think it's uh potato fries okay well we have dip in our mouth can we wait oh you're gonna eat it now what is it what is it it's just it's bad for you that's for sure yeah it really does look like katsu it is katsu oh it's katsu but there's no there must be no chicken because that'd be really bad right it's 3d printed yeah dude it tastes very good it is yeah yeah oh oh feed them feed them look at that that's something it's a little hard what pretty good is it beef jerky i have no idea the guy told me the guy told me to buy it in japan yeah it tastes like meat japanese no what's that like out there i do that's really good can i talk to him for one moment okay oh my god how did you figure that out did you have to talk to him did he say it's gonna just say that's what you shut the up up that's right that's what we're going i am hungry can we get the food that we ordered yeah before you guys get before you guys get into it right can you just say something yeah yeah yeah my friend's going to exit i'm starving can we hit it yeah we got it whenever you need yeah yeah right now yeah you go ahead we have to go pick it up yeah um no one's ever talked to me like that i love dude i love you so much i love you too you have no idea you guys got me through the pandemic i watched i used to watch everything i used to watch all the shows i used to watch the vlog um that you used to film him when you go on trips i used to watch i've watched every single one wow i've watched them all i see it and i go i know what happens in this one yeah i've seen all of it you you got me through the pan and i've seen every snl sketch you've done no you haven't yeah name five of them right now what five of them i don't know what they're called but i can do the characters maybe you know what i mean how you doing man my name is marcello bro yeah the weekend update classic okay that wasn't even funny cut that out um you know when something no one's paying attention i think that's bad i have a gift for you yeah i have a gift for you from texas wow wow i'm gonna say something yeah yeah this is so warm i think it's his wallet i think he just took all the stuff out of his wallet no no no it's okay it's from a cow yeah yeah i know it's loud around what he just said yeah it's from a cow yeah what does that say round one arcade gameplay card it has like five thousand tokens on it yeah it's like five thousand tokens on it tickets are you serious i think so is this how you give gifts you give people he gives people a gift card and he goes there's there's some i don't know there's tokens in there yeah wow thank you man thanks okay you're you're reaching for it no no you can have it can i give him his wallet back yeah give it to me the last time we hung out was oh my god what a weird night that was remember yeah we went to some uh yeah what was the concert it was a concert for a rapper for a rapper yeah yeah it was dark a lot of kids dude they love bobby the little ones right and they get his attention because they're right there you know i mean it goes straight up his eyes they go hey i love your stuff and bobby's very you're very nice with the fans what are you not yeah no you i am but i'm giving you your is there a time where you don't take photos no i always say yes i did i do too you know gloria estefan yes i have a story i have a story about her so wait okay okay let me tell you this and then i want to hear the story what can you know what i do you know what i watch him i go i go like this someone agrees with me and i go yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i do that because yeah yeah you can kind of just say something right now you can't let me do it huh you can't let me talk yeah yeah go ahead um i like when you take control you do i really like it and what i'm going to say is i'm going to allow you to go first okay thank you so much thank you thank you for allowing me yeah go ahead what we're talking about gloria stefan she yes yeah i like it perfect um she i uh i i'm they are from miami they live in miami and i worked in this thing on miami and i and i got to hang out with them and they're very nice to me and one night i went to this event and she was there and we're walking like to the place to sit down for dinner and the people are like attacking her like she is i mean oh here we go is it dax shepherd no it was my mistake okay okay loud ring though so um she the people are attacking her she's in heels you know what i mean yeah and she's a little person right she's no she's taller than you she's walking and the people are attacking her they're knocking her over trying to take the pictures pictures pictures pictures and she goes um at one point i go does it ever get like do you ever just be like stop yeah and she goes she i always think about this she goes the only thing worse than them wanting to take pictures of me like this is them not wanting to at all ah and one day one day they won't want to yeah and while they want to i'll let them have yeah yeah isn't her daughter a really good musician too she's insane yeah he's awesome she plays every instrument do you play any instruments i believe you know i just played before you remember we sang that song we tell you hold on can i just say something yeah can i just say something all right you don't remember when we don't play the song together you are you actually good can you can you do something good let's move let's move on no do one thing good no that was the best i could but this is a moment where you get to show your talent something you're a wide-eyed i love it yeah yeah he has wide-eyed meth eye i do it yeah it's something you're projecting but i i want to see it yeah i want to see you do something good no no could i can i tell my edubon story you gave away the punchline i did what happened right so i was in miami right right and i was doing the um improv back then and i'm the i'm in the green room and they said gloria estevan is here i go who that wow yeah i didn't know right i mean i've never heard of the miami man and you spent a lot of time inside excuse me what yeah you're right i don't leave you do right what play video games yeah i play video yeah yeah so um i go oh they're popular huh she's huge huge right so i'm on stage and i'm not doing well right i'm not you know that's weird is that dick no yeah yeah and so i so i'm like maybe i'll just call her out okay right so i go ladies and gentlemen and so they kind of put like a little light on her oh my god and i go gloria adabon no yeah yeah and she just got up and walked out of the room are you serious yeah yeah well you deserve that i know i know i feel bad yeah all the blood it just rushed out oh you had a And I started eating it. Oh, my God. Worse than before. Yeah, yeah. It was a double eat. Dude. Yeah, yeah. That's okay. She's very sweet. I'm sure she's good. Yeah, she'll forgive me. You don't eat it anymore, you don't think? Now I'm starting to because I just did my special. It comes out on Netflix on January 7th. You know, we cut that out. We do it at the end. Okay. We don't do that now? I'm answering your question. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. For Netflix? That was so weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For Netflix? Yeah, for Netflix. January 7th comes out. It's called American Boy. Wednesday. Now I have to Wednesday, yes. And now I have to. That's my friend, man. I know. Now I have to do new stuff, man. Yeah, yeah. It's hard. It's hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you shot this. Because I'm shooting my first special in two weeks. I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's exciting. It is? You think the people are excited? What do you mean? Like, how do you feel? I'm nervous. I'm nervous. Okay. Did you get nervous or no? Okay. Oh, yeah. I'm very nervous. And I did it in Miami. It was like a lot of pressure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In town. Yeah, I'm nervous, but I think I'm ready. Dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's about time. People pressure you to do that. For years they have been. For years they've been wanting you to do that. Yeah, and it's called Finally. Really? Yeah. Oh, that's sweet. Yeah, because I was wondering, I mean, so you got nervous and also in terms of like set design and all that stuff, you were involved in all that? Yeah. I didn't do a lot of stuff. I wanted it to be as simple. I did it in a very. I fucked up then! Yeah, yeah. You did a bunch of stuff? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. I used to be a fool with this and that. Aesthetic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all aesthetic and stuff. It's called Finally, but people are going to say, enough. I love to do this. I love to podcast. Yeah, yeah. Anyways. That's a good one. Bro. No, dude. I don't know, dude. No, dude. You got my feelings all revved up. Oh, you've been doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've been doing it forever. Yeah, you got me all revved up. Yeah, yeah. People are waiting for it. Some call it a race. It's okay. Yeah, so go ahead. Dude, I wish we went to school together. We would have been expelled. All Fs. All Fs. All Fs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, man. I think it's going to be great. Why'd you move that daiko? Why did you move that daiko? No, man. Do you have OCD? I feel like you have OCD. Sometimes I just freak out. Look at this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look what he drew. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what he drew. Marcelo Mami. Marcelo Mami. That's interesting. Wow. You're thinking, you're thinking about my mom? No. Are you obsessed with him? Who? Marcelo? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like there's an obsession. You really like him, though. No, he's funny. Yeah, yeah. Enough. He's a funny guy. When you immediately go to, that was a good one. It wasn't that good, huh? When you immediately go, hey, come on. It's like an old guy at a party, like your uncle. Yeah. Hey. My wife is ugly. Come on. Give me a little bit. Come on. I'm here. Come on. Come on. Yeah. No, dude, I'm excited. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. I did a bunch of stuff. Yeah, yeah. All right. Yeah, whatever. I'm going to sing a little song. You know, my mom, you know. You sing a song? I'm going to sing a song. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you have a movie, too, no? Yeah. Yeah. 72 Hours with Kevin Hart comes out in July. Wow. Round of applause for that. Yes. Yeah, yeah. You shot it. Who else is in it? Ben Marshall, Ken Patterson, Mason Gooding. Wow. There's some cameos that are crazy. Yeah. Kevin is wild, man. Kevin's a great guy. That guy, he's a workhorse. He's a workhorse. Yeah. I did a movie with him once and he's just busy. You never see him. If I had to describe Kevin in physically, like if I had to describe him with an action, I would go like this. I would go. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a metaphor. For his life. The guy's always. What about Bobby? What do you do? I'm the opposite, right? Yeah, Bobby, it'd be like this. This is Bobby. Yeah. What? That's pretty good. That is exactly me, dude. That's you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do it too. I do it too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You play video games? I do. Yeah, what do you play? I play FIFA. I'm really good. Oh, you'd probably crush me. I'd crush you. Okay, if you play. Okay, how about this? What if I played with Barca? Let's do a stream. All right. I play with Barca. Let's do it in front of the world. All right, and I want you to play with whatever team I pick. Right. You still beat me? I'm in, yeah. Really? Yeah. You're still, what, 5-0, you think? No, I think it'd be tight. If you get to pick my team, you're going to pick, like, some horrible team. MLS team. Yeah, some MLS. Aren't there worse teams? Yeah, he's going to pick, like, a half-star team. Yeah, yeah, a half-star team. From Gibraltar or whatever. It's going to make me have a tough time. But you still think you can win, huh? Maybe, yeah. I'm talented in the game. Yeah, wow. Yeah. I'm division two in the world. Division two in the world. In the ultimate team. Yeah. You can't hurt me. Yeah, my slams don't seem to work today. I've been bullied. They're not working. You'll get me. You will get me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing is working for me today. You will get me. So, yeah, you crushed me, huh? You don't play, like, RPGs? No, I can't. I can't do it. My mom, when I was little, she didn't let me play gun games. I used to play Medal of Honor. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to play that one. We killed. Yeah. What? You killed what? Back then, it was a game where you had to fight against them. You got to catch them. Oh, yeah. Fight against who, though? Yeah. Okay. You ever play Army of Two? No, I never played. The only one I ever played is Medal of Honor. What did you say? Army of Two? Army of Two. Never even heard of it. You never heard of Army of Two? Never heard of it. Two guys in the Army. Look it up. It's an Xbox. I'm not making this up. Army of Two. Oh, wow. Cartel. Yeah, that one sucked. Okay. Did you say cartel? Cartel. What was that? What? When you said that, what does that mean? Cartel? The devil's cartel? Oh, devil's. Oh, okay. Sorry. Do you know what a cartel is? He interests me. Dude, he is so fascinating. He's fascinating. You know how sometimes you meet somebody and go, how did you survive? Right. Yeah, and then this guy, he's the most interesting man in the world, and you switched him, and he hates him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's sad about it. Well, you think that I took the love from. I mean, the attention from you? Do you feel like you're. No. Why are your eyes like that? The cat's. He's attracted to the cat. He does look like he's crying. So good timing. Did you touch your eyes? I think I touched my. Why didn't you touch your eyes? You made me laugh, so I did this. I told you not to touch your eyes. Can you take your Claritin now? Yeah, take your Claritin. You look terrible right now. Yeah, you don't look well. Can you do the deep voice? Marcelo Hernandez. Oh, God. Damn, I haven't done this in a long time. You don't count him down anymore? We don't. Show change. Hey, guys. Enjoy a refreshing apple and sweet caramel comfort in every sip with a new Caramel Apple 5-Hour Energy Shot. Guess what? You want to get your flavor fix without the sugar? I do it. The leaves are out. And guess what? Shopify. Shopify. For your mind. You guys, Shopify. We have an online business here. We use Shopify to get our merch out there. We only use the best here at Tiger Belly. Shopify helps you launch a store and start selling in a few simple steps without needing to be an e-commerce expert. Like, I'm no expert at e-commerce. No. Right? I'm a simple person. I want something laid out in a simplified way. And I need an AI assistant, and they have one called Sidekick. And you can help with business tax along the way from store setup to planning promotions. Promotions, dude. I'm really trying to get into Shopify so that I can start selling some merch on my own and crank in them dollar bills. And lucky for me, Shopify's pre-built themes and AI site builder can make it easier to create a professional-looking storefront. It's got to look legit. Oh, wow. This is. We're just getting in now. Breaking news. Launch before Black Friday, a time of year when more people are already shopping and ready to buy. That's genius. Because Black Friday, people will buy my shirts. I love that. If you're ready to launch your business before Black Friday, go to Shopify.com. Tigerbelly to start your free trial. That's Shopify.com slash Tigerbelly. Go to Shopify.com slash Tigerbelly to hear your first. Guys, if you're in the jungle, you can still open a store. Check out this tune. Oh, Shopify! Come on! Support for this podcast comes from Progressive, America's number one motorcycle insurer. Did you know writers who switch and save with Progressive save nearly $200 per year? That's a whole new pair of writing gloves and more. Quote today. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company & Affiliates. National average 12-month savings of $197 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between October 2024 and September 2025. Potential savings will vary. Yeah, the show changed. Look at this. Did you hear it? Yeah, I did, yeah. Oh, that just gave me the feels, though. Bring it back. Before you got here, Alex and Bobby were arguing about who's bigger, Linkin Park or the Beatles. I want to know your take on this. Yeah, yeah. You're not a music guy. I am a music guy, but I listen to Spanish stuff. Oh, okay. I swear, I listen to Spanish stuff. Or who's better, the Beatles or Enrique Iglesias? No. The Beatles. Okay, Vicente Fernandez. Give respect where it's due. Richie Valens or the Rolling Stones? The Beatles are the greats. Interesting choices. What? I don't know. Who's the iconic one, like Vicente Fernandez? Yeah, it's tough because they weren't as global, you know? Yeah. My dad loves the Beatles. Oh, yeah. You don't love Juan Luis Guerra. Right. You know? Yeah, yeah, exactly. So you have to give respect. I think in a long time, Bad Bunny will be someone that we throw in the argument. Yeah, sure. But what I'm saying, though, is that just historically speaking, you think that who had more significance? What band do you think? Between Linkin Park and the Beatles? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not even a question. Who? It's the Beatles. Yeah, exactly. Thank you. And Alex would disagree. But Linkin Park, like. The numbers show different. You think the numbers show different? Oh, they do. They show different. They do. What are the numbers? Linkin Park sold more albums than the Beatles. Right. And then they have way more streams. But does that mean make something better? That's the question, yeah. Yeah. No, I asked you. Well, I guess I'll ask you then. Yeah. What's. What's better? Wait, I asked you, then you're going to ask him? Well, just give me a moment. Okay, okay. I'd rather listen to Hybrid Theory than any Beatles album. Got it. I know, but that's. What was the first word you said there? I'd rather, yeah. I, right. But it's like all the other streamers and all the other people that bought the album would like it, too. Right. And would you say that when the Beatles were out, that, like, if someone bought, like, a record, right? Because you're comparing records to albums. Would you say that a lot of people would listen to it in one place, maybe? Yeah. Maybe not a lot of people. A lot of people had a record player at their house, and maybe it was a thing that, like. Maybe not. It was, like, the only music out, really. It was kind of a cultural thing. Yeah. Kind of took over the world. It was, like, the only thing you could get, too. Right. Linkin Park, there was a lot more other bands, so. And do you think. Do you think if I drop you in the middle of nowhere and you ask the same question, what do you think people would answer? Oh, Linkin Park, that one song in the end? Really? Yeah, yeah. What's better, like, a burger from, like, a fast food place, or, like, you know. Burger at home. You know? What? That's a good. I don't know if that was. I thought you were giving that an energy. I think that wasn't the. It was like, oh, he nods to Marcelo. A burger at home. Yeah, he got it. That's where you got it. You got to report. Or it's like, if you compare Breaking Bad and Grains of the Enemy. Both good shows. Just completely good? Yeah, yeah. I think the numbers that you're talking about, right now, it's much easier to look at numbers. I think when the Beatles were big, it was hard to look at numbers, so you can't compare numbers. You have to compare cultural impact, and I think if we're going to compare the cultural impact of the Beatles, versus Linkin Park, I think you're going to have a tough time with that argument. Yeah. I mean, they did kind of start and blow up that whole genre, Linkin Park, and it created. He's hard on it. He will not. He won't buy. He won't buy. I'm telling you, he won't buy. That's okay. Linkin Park is going to take this one. All right, Chester. All right, fair enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we. I just strongly disagree. Yeah, I mean. And we can agree to disagree. Do you know the names of all the Linkin Park guys? Not. I know Chester, because he's from, like, my hometown. So you only know the name of one of them? Got it. You don't even know Johan? No. Do you know the names of the Beatles? John Lennon. That's all you know? Yeah. Paul McCartney. You've never heard of Paul McCartney? Ringo. When you say the names, I'll know them. Yeah. And if I said the names of the Linkin Park guys? I'll know them. Okay. But I wouldn't, like. I don't, like. You know Dave Strasburg from the Linkin Park? You can. You can. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can win the argument, but. I just made up that fucking name. You can't get it. He called me. I was trying to trick him. Oh, yeah. You know Dave Strasburg? You know the Jew that's at Linkin Park? He chose a crazy name. I picked the wrong name. Fuck. David Hellman. Is that better? I think that's a comic. Fuck. Yeah, yeah. Francisco Ricks. Remember Francisco Ricks? Yeah. Okay. You still eating that? It's good. Yeah. What kind of food did you get? I got sushi from down the street. Do you want to eat it now? Are you really hungry for sugar dropping? Yeah. If your sugar's dropping, take a bite. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Take a bite. I don't want to. Who cares? Who cares? Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to be the guy. Yeah. Yeah. You are that guy. But anyway. What do you. Yeah. I mean, you were 45 minutes late. But my point is. Was I really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you are definitely that guy. But my point is. Right. I was hanging out. I was like, Dax Shepard, his daughter's there. Yeah. I get it. I get it. Yeah. Bigger star. But my point is. You should eat, man. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, what is up with you? Yeah. Yeah. There's like a longing. I like it. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're family, man. It's your episode, man. Yeah. I mean, is there a closeness because you know that he's Hispanic? No. Well, I work with Ralph. I love Ralph. Yeah. Yeah. Texted Ralph. Ralph didn't answer me. You got to tell him. Oh. Yeah. That's all. Well, he has a kid, so. I guess, yeah. You forgive him. The new breed of Hispanics are different. You guys just made different. What were the older ones like? They were harder. They were what? Harder. Harder. We're soft. Yeah. And also whimsical and weird. And the Asians have stayed hard, huh? Yeah. No, we're soft, too. Oh, okay. Yeah. You don't think we're soft? I don't know. I just felt like you were doing a dig. No, I wasn't doing a dig. No, I like it. You think I'm soft? No, I didn't say soft. I'm just saying that you're more like. So you brought me here to call me soft. No, no, no. More dreamy. Okay. Like, you know, Ralph will say stuff like, just be silenced. We're just sitting there. Hey, bro, you like butterflies? He's like, that kind. And before they used to talk about what? Like tacos and. That's not what I was saying. Burritos and stuff. No, I'm just saying. Hard stuff. No. Mangoes. What? Mangoes. Mangoes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Papaya. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You used to sell drugs, right? Mexican beans. You think that's not what I was doing? Now we're soft. No, no, no. I wasn't doing that. We can sell drugs. Can you back me up, please? Being an Asian woman, can you back me up for a second? Yeah, I didn't like what you said, though. The new breed of Hispanics are whimsical? How is that bad? To call us a breed like we're animals is also something. I think there's. I think. Let me just. I feel like I'm drowning. I'm going to fix it. Fix it. Fix it. Fix it. 85 degrees. Yeah. Don't you think it's cold? No. Okay. What I'm saying is that I think the new breed of Koreans are softer, too, is what I'm saying. That's nice. We're all softer. We're dancing on stage. You think everything. Everyone. We wear makeup. What? Everyone is softer. I think we still. Who stayed hard, man? What breed is hard? The white people? Yeah. You know what, guys? No. No? No. You know what, guys? You know what? I apologize for even asking that question. Yeah. Bobby? What? He looks me in the eyes. He goes, black people. And then I go, uh-huh. And then he goes, they can stay hard. Crazy, dude. Fucking crazy, dude. Yeah. It's wild. That's insane, dude. Also, I will say, just as an observer. That I've watched the show for a long time. Yeah. When you guys were together and you used to be mean to her, it was like endearing. Now that you're not together, it's like, shut up, Bobby. Really? Yeah. When you guys were together, I'm like, oh, she loves him. This is why. He does the digging. Yeah. Now that you're not together, it's like, that's a woman, man. Really? That's someone's mother. I apologize. I'm going to be nicer to you. Our relationship has changed. Oh, shit. You look beautiful today. Dude, this guy, his eyes are going to pop out of his face. I know. He's bleeding. Do you remember? Total Recall? Yes. Where Arnold Schwarzenegger was the woman? Yeah. And he's at the security checkpoint and then all his eyes. Yes. Yeah. Gil, I think. Can I just say something? He interrupted what you were saying Jaime did. I know he did. And also, whenever I'm talking right now, dude, you're drifting to Jaime. Yeah, you're not even involved. I swear to God, I could watch him do anything. I could watch Jaime do anything. I know. Did you eat sushi? What? Say it first. You say it first. Did you just say, do you want to eat sushi? Did you just ask me that? Yeah, are you going to eat sushi? Okay. Do you want some? I'll share some with you. Okay. Yeah, can we get some, please? Have you seen him eat sushi for the first time? Huh? Have you seen him eat sushi? I love sushi. I've never seen him eat sushi. Gagged. He gagged. Yeah, yeah. I'll try sushi for you. You will? Again. Yeah. What did he do before? Where did you find him? Ralph. Ralph. Ah, like Ralph just introduced him? Ralph was here. Ralph was here and Jaime was sitting over there. And I go to Ralph, I go, what's that? No, who is that? Oh, yeah, who is that? She said, who is that? Yeah, when Ralph came on here, I was just over there. You're right, you're right. I'm Ralph's friend. Right. And you met him here in LA or in Texas? Here. Wow. You're not even, see, here's the thing, Marcelo, you're not even listening. Right. Right? You're low blood sugar. No. It's hypoglycemic. Yeah, what I'm saying. Eat to eat, eat to eat. I'm hypoglycemic. But what I'm saying, Marcelo, is that. She's a mother, she knows these things. I do, I do, I can tell. But Ralph was sitting here as a guest. Uh-huh. I'm noticing it now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So what happened with him when he. So tell me about what happened. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no, please, please, please. So when. Oh. This is Jaime Sushi. I did watch this. Tia Sushi for the first time. I did watch this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. He doesn't know what to do. Okay. That's Ralph. Yeah. Good boss. You look crazy. You're spitting food out, Bobby. You're coughing. Where's, how's Rudy? She's great. Oh, she loves you. What is she doing? She loves you. She's babysitting for me today. She's the best, huh? She's the best, yeah. That was a real gem. you found Jaime too yeah I know Jaime so after after what I said I wanted to see if you were listening how did I meet Jaime now you met him with Ralph you were with Ralph where in LA probably at the store and you saw him you saw him and you go what is that no that's not the story okay yeah yeah are you are you being real right now dude I'm sorry am I doing okay yeah hey George you're doing great you're very funny George yeah yeah yeah things have gotten better with you guys but first of all it's good man first of all could you just listen for a second it's important the people you're around yeah yeah yeah so Ralph was a guest here right even now that I'm active listening you don't think it's yeah it doesn't feel like it yeah yeah yeah yeah okay yeah how are you on a show man yeah yeah yeah like do you look at the table repacket before and do it or do you just yeah yeah yeah yeah you do I'm there dude it's like school yeah yeah yeah you have to be there how much time do you get with the script before we have to sit down and read it not long sometimes 30 minutes sometimes less oh you don't get because we used to get the day before no we don't oh no yeah yeah yeah we turn it in on the day of table read at like 10 11 a.m wow and then they send it but not everything gets in the packet no no no yeah yeah yeah but we read like 38 sketches yeah yeah yeah it's a lot right so then does it say in the front cover of your script what sketches you're in or do you have to rifle through all of them you have to rifle it's the worst you have to rifle yeah yeah yeah yeah I hate that and yeah on MADtv they did it the day before and did you have to rifle well when I got it the day before I did yeah yeah yeah but I wish they would say like these are yours here's the 20 sketches and then you know what I mean who's in what but once they've been doing something for 50 years you can't be like I have an idea right do you get intimidated yet or no in the beginning I must have been a little intimidated I still get intimidated but I think it's ultimately I always think about you know all those bad jobs I had and I go just just eat it up man yeah yeah yeah just eat it up do you ever get mad because you're not in the show a lot no no no no oh yeah yeah yeah I'm good about that you are yeah I mean it's fun to say with people to be like I'm not in the show yeah it's a fun thing to be like I'm not in the show they don't want to see me nobody cares about me that's fun to say but I don't but if you're not in a sketch I mean has that been the thing where you weren't in a sketch at all yeah I've been they call it getting blanked yeah so you got blanked I got blanked and do you still are you still mandatory you have to show up yeah you have to be there wow was that the same for you yeah yeah you gotta go yeah yeah and were you just seething yeah and then you also you have to do the cast at the end yeah that's tough and like I wasn't in anything nothing yeah sometimes your family comes yeah yeah yeah how are you doing oh my god it's going great they tell me you're not in the show yeah but you guys get huge guests yeah it's crazy yeah who's who was the Lorne Michaels of Mad TV uh Dick Blasucci Dick Blasucci Blasucci Blasucci yeah yeah wow yeah he was the kind of the Lorne Michaels and what was he like he was a um um what's so funny you shit on his desk I just remembered yeah I pooped on his desk you pooped on his desk Bobby it's a long time ago it's a long time I forgot yeah yeah it was funny do you ever think about shitting on Lorne's desk yeah what would what would happen if you shit on Lorne's desk no I wonder I don't want to do that yeah yeah yeah that's a wild thing you did my bad why did you my bad and my instinct was wrong on that one why did you do it do you remember it was a joke what was the joke I mean do you really want to know or no yes tell me alright so I'm going to just say the real story okay because you know I exaggerated because you were thinking about doing the fake one no I was thinking about doing the fake one but I don't think I've ever told the real story oh okay let's hear it so the real story is this you have soy sauce in the house right somewhere in the house yeah yeah we have soy sauce yeah we have you have oh yeah you want some soy sauce that'd be beautiful yeah yeah get some chopsticks for the get some for the fella thank you Kalilah you don't need chopsticks either no I think you have to ask for it you have to be like and utensils yeah yeah yeah thank you Kalilah napkins how did you how did you mess that up how did you mess that up I fucked it up what did you do I don't know yeah you messed it up intimacy issues you have intimacy issues I had a porn addiction you had a porn addiction she didn't like that no it takes away from the intimacy intimacy in years of that you know what I mean it erodes the yeah the relationship yeah yeah why'd you bring that up man I don't know man yeah it's really uncomfortable I'm just like she's so nice yeah yeah I fucked it up she's nice but no I lost motherly she's like you're hungry hyperglycemic I know I lost yeah and you seem like the kind of guy that needs someone to take care of I lost I lost her for completely my life hasn't been the same yeah I'm in the woods dude I know dude and there's no light there's no light I know yeah yeah and I'm saying it behind her back because she would she's a person that's emotional she'll be like that's sad and then once she had the baby yeah I was just like depressed completely guys guys can we talk it's our first baby he's been depressed I know he's a great guy he's a nice guy she had a baby with a man yeah and he's way better than me I mean that's awesome he's big he looks like Jason Momoa oh my god the baby's gonna be insane I know he's bigger than me that baby's gonna be so strong he's gonna beat the shit out of me yeah he's gonna beat the shit out of me he's gonna beat the shit out of me oh my god I would pay to see that fight Bobby Bruce he's gonna call me Poppy no he's not yeah no I'm gonna call him Poppy no yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah how you doing Poppy how you doing yeah get me a throat lozenge no no don't talk to him like that no that's me oh that's him to you yeah that's him to me yeah and I'll go oh yes sir cherry cherry I like the cherry right and we'll get the cherry throat lozenge that's exciting yeah but yeah I fucked it up yeah you did yeah yeah yeah that's great but you know what but she still you did something right because she still is a part of the thing well yeah you know every relationship I've been in I keep a relationship going yeah you know with exes do you talk to your exes still I don't talk to a lot of my exes no but I don't have bad blood yeah but you haven't been in a long long term no yeah yeah once you get into one it develops and then especially after 10 years you know what I mean you can't see them not in your life right yeah yeah that's nice man yeah there's a little guy in there man there's a little guy with a heart what's your love life like same as his man what does that even mean tell them what happened this Christmas break oh I was seeing someone over Christmas break and we broke up because she said I was a shitty boyfriend yeah but tell them what were the moves that you were making explain oh yeah yeah but do the move do the move oh yeah yeah yeah this was before my girlfriend I had yeah go get just do the move what move you were slapping you know what I mean oh I was just like I took her from behind like I was like you know I get down I was what did I say I was rearranging her guts or something like that giving her back shots something like that what was the move I gave you well I didn't give you the move but what was the move I was telling you that's about right arch the back that's about right you know what I'm talking about that's about right yeah he goes I was taking it from the back that's what he said he goes I was taking it from the back also her guts weren't rearranged he said one thing and he was doing it her guts are fine yeah yeah yeah man no the love life it's kind of hard right because you're working so much somewhat yeah yeah somewhat but you have a big platform do you want to maybe like say something to her yeah no not to her wait say something to hers to her we know to her we know what you should say sorry for rearranging your guts no she she I miss her yeah thank you so much oh my god yeah this is how they do it yeah yeah you want some oh my god thank you yeah yeah yeah wow this is the best um unfortunately there's only one pair of chopsticks yeah you only have one pair of chopsticks upstairs I know what happens to your ass yeah I don't use them unless I'm in a restaurant okay yeah cool anyway it's low sodium is that okay of course no that's full sodium that one oh that's full sodium okay come on yeah okay Kalilah we were talking about how nice I think you are you're great gonna give you your flowers oh thank you that's so sweet and not abandoning him you know what I mean yeah you didn't abandon yeah you didn't abandon me that's nice I didn't yeah yeah he was about to say something to the girl that you were doing what to her you said I'm using his language yeah yeah yeah well remember how it was like the one who called said you were a shitty boyfriend before that one before that one oh the one you're not over no no after that one he was over you know what I mean yeah he was over it yeah yeah yeah no he was doing some sexual moves to her okay and then what happened have you seen those these moves I don't ever want to yeah yeah oh my god yeah exactly yeah I'm sorry yeah Emma's gonna grab one yeah yeah yeah go ahead you were slapping her hip is that what you're doing not her butt okay what is this what which one is this it's avocado roll it's no fish in there so that's that might be safe for you say something to the girl man yeah yeah say something sorry yeah you know what I brought her flowers improvise a haiku for her we love haikus do we not yeah yeah yeah okay you go first no that's he doesn't know her dude no you one for your girlfriend so that I can get an idea what a haiku is his eyes go crazy if he has an idea yeah yeah yeah let's haiku is a count right so it's a very specific pattern 5-7-5 it's 5-7-5 5 words no not 5 words 5 syllables I really do miss you there we go now do 7 yeah I wanna take you from behind again wow behind is 2 syllables yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah maybe take out the 2 it was good you gotta change the way you are man you gotta change the way you are man why why are you gonna change the way you do you don't have to change the way you are I mean, it works in your 20s, but in your 50s, it's not going to work. Yeah, once you turn 30, like. Yeah, yeah, it'll be weird. Wait, what's not working? Yeah. Clearly what you're doing, you know what I mean? They're calling you a shitty boyfriend. At 30. You're 30. I'm 29. Yeah. How old are you now? He's timeless, this guy. He's timeless. You're right. I think you're right. I'm 28. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's older than you? He's older than me. He looks like a baby. Yeah. You're adorable. You're adorable. You too, man. Thank you, man. Can I tell my real dick story? Yeah, go ahead. Okay. Uh-oh, and you pooped on the desk. You've never told that on the show? I've said the story, but it was a lie. So say the real one. I want to tell you the real. Nice. The real, real story. Okay. What are you talking about? All right, so I was at Mad TV, and I walked by Dick Busucci's office. Right. And Ike Barinholtz and Nicole Parker were writing a sketch on his computer. Oh, my God. Okay? And so there was a. Is that allowed? Is that not allowed? Is that normal? Yeah. Okay. They did that. Okay. And there was a bottle of Alka-Seltzer, you know what I mean, on the desk. A box of it, I mean. So I walked in. I go, are you guys writing? Yeah, we're writing, dude. Leave us alone. Okay, you want to see something funny? Whoa. And they go, okay. So I bent over, and I stuck an Alka-Seltzer in my butthole, right? And it started foaming like a mad dog. It was going. The Alka-Seltzer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah. It was like literally foaming. I'm sweating, by the way. I know. Good. You make it. You know what? You make it colder in here, I'm sweating. 85 degrees. I'm on fire in here. I'm on fire in here. There's a bunch of lights everywhere. Okay. All right. So then, right, I go, let me shoot him out. Yeah. Right? Because it felt funny. Yeah. Have you stuck an Alka-Seltzer in your butthole? No, no, no. Yeah, yeah. It feels funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you ever do it? What is this? Shrimp tempura. Shrimp tempura. Can I tell the story, dude? That one is very. That's not fishy. Okay. I'm telling a fucking story, bro. Are you trying not to. I know what I'm saying. What is this? He's like, what is this? What is this? I know what. I will say, you know what I think is happening? I think because there's a Latino on here, he feels emboldened. That's what it is. He feels emboldened. He's emboldened. You don't talk this much ever. No. Yes, I do. You interrupt him. You interrupt him when I'm not here? Yes. No, not this much. And I'm telling a story, and you're talking about your. What is that? What is that? Okay, this is a new year. I'm trying to be a badass. I'm trying to. Okay, I'm trying to. I'm trying to do back shots. He's trying to change his image. What is it? It's because my palate is like chicken wings and cheeseburgers. I don't know if that's. I don't know if you can call that your palate. Well, that's what he tells me. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's his palate. Yeah. Okay. Okay, so what is that? So. Let's get to this first. It's shrimp tempura, man. Just eat it. You'll be fine. Just chew it. Just the whole thing. The whole thing, Jaime. The problem that you have. This is the problem. Yeah, tell them the problem. You saw it in the video. Yeah. What happens is when you try something, you leave it in your mouth and you wait. Don't wait. Chew. Worst thing that happens is you swallow it, it's gone. But when you waited, you spit it out. You had Bobby waving the chopsticks at you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's okay? It's pretty good, yeah. There's something about the way your lips sit that it looks like you don't like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It looks like he doesn't like it. Yeah. But you do like it. Yeah, it's good. Okay, good. That's because I have it on your bike. I just want him to be happy. I swear to God, I just want him to be happy. Yeah, I want to take care of him for the rest of his life. Yes. Like, dude, if you were in hospice, I would visit you every day. Wouldn't you? I wouldn't. No? You don't think I would? No, Jules told me a really sad story. What? You wouldn't visit anyone. Apparently, your mom fell and you didn't do anything. What? And Jules was. Rudy was the one who, like, picked her up. Jules was like, he just sat there and didn't do anything. And his mom fell and she had to come to her rescue. Bobby, is that true? Yes. Yes, but. But? Can I defend myself? No. Yes. No. She's sitting with my mom at a four-top table, okay? Before you get into that, does anything happen other than after the Alka-Seltzer is in your boat, you just get up and then you put it out onto the desk? No, there's more things that happen, but you know what? I'm not even going to address it anymore. Okay. Okay. Can I finish it? Sure. All right. So I shoot out the Alka-Seltzer. I'll get back to the fucking. The mom. The mom. Yeah, this whole thing is fun. But people like it, I think. Yeah, I think we do. People at home, they get bored. They go, there's topic, too much time. Too much time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We go to topic to topic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I shoot out the Alka-Seltzer while you're eating. Maybe go to the mom. No, it's okay. Okay. Right? And then a couple of dingleberries came out with it. Oh, yeah. And then Dick walks into the office and he sees the little two dingleberries and the foam. It kind of looks like a Michelin star restaurant. The foam. Fine dining. What is that? Chef's table. Yeah, it's like a chef's table thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he goes, clean it up. I clean it up and that's it. The story that I told before was more exaggerated. Yeah, it was intentional. You were mad and then you went to his desk and you pooed. Yeah, yeah. That's not the real story. I see. The story is, that's the real story. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cute. While wondering, what did he say? He just said, clean it up and he left. I mean, he was mad, but yeah, yeah, yeah. Sounds funny. With your mom. So my mom, so Jules was sitting next to my mom. I'm on the other side of the table. She fell over and Jules was super quick to pick her up. Okay. Right? And I did this. I did. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, but Jules and I already had her. I don't believe you. Can I tell you why I don't believe you? Because we were in Hawaii and his mom had never been to Hawaii before. And when she opened the curtain to look at the view of the ocean, she was like, like, it overwhelmed her. And then she passed out and fainted. And you and your brother stood there. Did nothing. We were laying on the bed. What is that about, Bobby? What do you mean? You freeze? Yeah, yeah. It's called trauma. It's trauma response. Yeah, you froze. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Flight, freeze. Yeah, but I like slid and caught her. Yeah. Remember that? Yeah, because you guys are quicker. Oh, no. And you're making fun of me and my brother because we're slow. And I don't like that. Yeah, we're slow. You shouldn't be. You're small and fat. Yeah, yeah. You are small. Yeah. Did you hear any of that conversation you think? Yeah. Yeah, I did. His mom passes out here and there. I know. And you go and you slid and you picked her up. Yeah. Are you done? Meanwhile, you're doing what? Yeah. Are you done with all that? I'm just going to save it because I don't feel good about what's happening. Okay, good. But you have some nutrients in your body. Yeah, I got something in my body. Thank you, Kalilah. I just saw the brand of that jacket. You saw it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's Obey. It's not that expensive. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 15 minutes ago. I think it looks nice. Yeah. Were you mad? I already turned it off. I completely turned it off. You want the air on? Yeah. You turned it off? Yeah. Why? He said he was hot. Yeah, so I turned the heat off. Oh, the heat was on. He wants the AC now. Yeah. I'm turning it down. That's okay, right? Yeah, okay, fine. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. It's like I'm like. Yeah, okay, you're all right? No, it's fine. Are you doing something after this? Am I doing something after this? Yeah, which one is he doing? Royal Court with Brittany. Oh, I love her. Oh, wow. Have you been on that one? Yeah, you're doing the. No, I've never been on that one. You like dress up like a king or something. You dress up like old timey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Are they getting the stuff? Yes. Amazing. I'm so excited. Wow. You're going to do that? Because I want to bring gifts. I think you brought me. This is the second podcast I've done. This is also. I've never done many podcasts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never really done real. I did like podcasts before when I first started. Yeah. But after SNR, this is probably. This is the second podcast I've ever done. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Well, you're doing another one of mine tomorrow. I know. I'm so pumped about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With the boys. Yeah, with the boys. But let's enjoy the moment, yeah? Are you on medication? No. You know what? This is awesome. I feel like you need to be. I'm completely unmedicated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Completely unmedicated. Yeah. No allergies to any medication. Yeah. You know what I like about you? I think you remind me of what I was like when I was young, maybe. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. Yeah, I'm ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I have a good heart, I think. I do, no, no. I love. Your heart's in the right place. I love. I love. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you ever live in the moment? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I live in like nine moments. That's not living in the moment. So many moments. Yeah. Yesterday, today, tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm in the moment. I'm in moments. I'm in moments. Yeah, a lot of moments. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are your favorite moments in the last couple of years, then? Oh, my God. I think I'm. You know what I am? You know what I am? I'm a family man. I'm a family man. I want to. Live in the moment, man. My head itched. I know because it's 95 degrees. I know, I know. You're wearing a beanie. Yeah, go ahead. You're a family man? I'm a family man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to have a family. I like hanging out with the little kids in my family. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like doing that. That stuff. Those are beautiful moments for me. My little cousin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's a crazy soccer player. Yeah. And I played with her when she was little. And then now she got a D1 scholarship. Wow, wow. So those, to me, those are the. And you go to the games and stuff? I used to go to all her games. Now I'm going to go see her when she's in college. Oh, they must be very proud of you. Oh, no. Yeah, well, she's a star. You're a star. You're a star. Oh, my God, thank you. Who's a bigger star, you or her? I think if we're going to calculate it based on money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's no contest. So you're the Linkin Park. She's more. I think she's. I'm Linkin Park. And she's the Beatles. The numbers tell a story, don't they? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, but in terms of who's more impressive, I think what she's doing is. Yeah. Yeah, that's great. That's great. You were a wrestler. Yeah. Yeah. What soccer team do you support? In the prem, Man U. Oh. Oh, that hurts. You're an Arsenal guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't pretend like you really care. Yeah, yeah. I do care about. No, you don't really care. About Man U? No, just about like the rivalries. You just like Arsenal. No, I. You like Bucayosaka. You like. Whoa, you know. You like Gabriel. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Trussell. Yeah, well, you know the team, you know, you like those guys like our Tata our Tata. I love our Tata Yeah, I'm like we like to say that yeah I'm out to take you know what that means. Yeah, I don't talk about it. It's poker. I like your team - you like my team That's go. That's I don't know. I'm guamo Well, most cool. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, oh, I guess I mean, you know, McGuire right Bruno Fernandez. He's amazing Yeah, he's a man. He's a really good really good. Yeah, I know your team - yeah, you know my team. Yeah Yeah, I know you think you know my name But Go how you do it, but you have an MLS team. Yeah. Well, I'm from Miami. So we have Miami Good some my real team since I was a little kids. They gave me a jersey when I was a little kid was real Madrid I'm a midget. Yeah, which it's not a hot take Listen Bobby Lee's comic are you it's out now at all stores Oh my god, it's noble or let's talk about your special. Yes. What's the date and there it is? Yeah Whoa, man, we filmed it like old-school looks good. That's looks good. It looks great. Thank you, man we um, I Been doing comedy for ten years Bobby. I know I Filmed one. Yeah. Yeah Okay, I think that was a dick on me. No Yeah, yeah, I was being honest. Yeah, you know when no one wants your special, right? Why would you do one? Yeah, but that's the self-deprecating thing. Was it always like that? Yeah, and that didn't make you feel good. Did it collapse? What was that word you just used Deprecating the can you give me the definition not defecating? Yeah Deprecating what is it when I want you to repeat the word? No, no, no, no, give me the definition And repeat the word and then we'll know if you're gonna pop in you're gonna participate you understand Yeah, yeah, he's telling you to do something. You're not gonna pop in and then do whatever you want. You're popping in Yeah, yeah, so spit it out to me we'll say the word one more time spell it out spell it out Self deprecating such she's such she's such in you're so involved. I have to protect my mama, man Say it again self deprecating self deprecated Oh He goes, you know, he's asking me if I know You know, yeah, you know say one more time self deprecating okay self deprecated So It's harder for them to get it dyslexia man. Yeah, you have dyslexia. Yeah. Yeah, we're not making fun of your speech impediment. I'm sorry No, did okay? Self say it again. No, we already said it's written buddy. No Okay, did huh self deprecating? And then what did you want to know about it the definition the definition is of self deprecating so let's break it down Yeah, what do you think? What do you think of myself? Yeah, and then me you to deprecate is to like kind of like bring down to Make fun of kind of like low self-esteem if you have losses But like in a performative way right in a performative way. It's when a comic makes fun of themselves, right? Oh Yeah, man low self-esteem, right? Yeah But you can do self deprecating humor without having low self-esteem. Exactly. Thank you. Okay. Okay, you know, no, no, thanks, man Yeah, no problem. I think you do some self deprecating humor. Yeah, I do your stand-up. How long you been doing stand-up to two years Wow, man. Yeah, Ralph. Yeah. Yeah, I've been opening up for Ralph. Wow. How many shows did you shoot? Six. No, really? We did six we shot five But one of them was only like one camera and then we shot for like full. Yeah And so it's why I did it in Miami because I wanted to do a lot of them. Yeah. Yeah, I'm doing four Yeah, that's good enough. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Dave Chappelle gave me advice. What do you say before? What do you say? He said make sure you talk to your um, make sure you you you wanted me to make the room dark the audience Cuz he's like he thinks people are a lot more comfortable to laugh and it's really dark in the audience. Did you already shoot it? That's a good note. No, I didn't do it. Oh, yeah, that's a good note Um, make it dark and then the second thing he did which I wish I would have done more of but I was just I'm not Even gonna have a spotlight. I'm just gonna be dark on stage After this should they shoot the first one? Yeah, you should go to video village. Yeah meet with them Yeah, look at the shots and tell them which ones you like Because they're gonna move the cameras around and you can be like this one. I need for the all four Yeah, this shot. We had to dance around and pick different shows because I like this specific shot But we only got it on one show. Yeah, we only got it on two shows. So make sure that you Know what shots you're getting. I didn't do that and I wish I would have done that Okay, I'm gonna do that go to video village sit down with them And yeah, was there a lot of it was our camera because my director was like well, we don't need a lot of audience shots Yeah, you're your specials today. Don't have a lot of audience shots anymore the response he's not wrong, but I'll tell you what you want a little bit of audience shots is if you're gonna cut between One joke and another one you need to go somewhere. Mmm, so you can cut into a laugh and then come back into a different joke Mmm, so we did that a few times here where you see an audience shot But what we're doing is is we're trimming fat or taking something out Yeah, and you get that audience shot to like distract the people and then you go into something that's way later So out of the five shot because I'm just curious because yeah, I know the five shows that you shot right that This is a bunch of different. You know, I mean, it's mostly one in four. Oh One in four. Yeah. Oh, I see. It's mostly one. Is there any three two and three little bit of two and three Like jokes, yeah, there's a little bit of two and three Yeah, because sometimes you say it different. Yes in a weird way. Yeah, depending on the audience. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm excited for you Bobby Yeah, I don't be half of comedians. I want to tell you that we love you man, and you know, really If you're representing New York, you're a force of good Yeah Yeah you are you are a platform for people to come on and talk about themselves and that's a nice thing that people do you know and You're one of those people and it's a it's an honor to be here on your show and and I'm so happy for what you Have done for this interesting Latino here Yeah, yeah, it's really yes. I've been supportive of a lot of people you are. Yeah, you're a supporter Yeah, I remember the first do you remember the first time we met I do With Shane, yeah, yeah at the Paramount what's at the Paramount or no the Chelsea I think the Chelsea a Gramercy Gramercy Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we were both backstage. I think we open for him. No, I didn't go up. I just wanted to hang Yeah, you hung out. Yeah, and you're out back there. Yeah running around and you were you an SNL at the time or no? Um, I think you just got it on the show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and You were being very nice. You told me that um, but you also being a little bit gross He gets a little gross. Yeah, when it's with a new person. Yeah, I have fungus and you're like what? Do you remember when you've gone it's gone? Oh, really? Yeah, I have no more foot fungus Wow Yeah, you want to see it or no? No, no. Okay. I just love how you decided to you know, fix yourself after wait till the breakup I'm sorry about that But you never saw the foot fungus did you I felt the foot you felt Yeah, I remember you used to do a lot of stuff like you used to take it to her and stuff. Yeah Yeah, yeah, I like smell this like smell you like you used to put on used to put glue on your finger and then yeah Yeah, yeah, I don't do that anymore. No. Yeah, we got all the glue over there Wow, do you ever eat it? No, I never eat the glory. No, no other stuff. Yeah, what do you mean? I think you've been like a lifelong booger eater Right You guys know your brother like Because I know the flavor No, I think there are salty. It's like it's very much You're handsome. You're a booger eater or not a booger eater and you guys are booger eaters I just I just it's hard to believe that people haven't eaten their own boogers No, it's not that you haven't it's at some point in your life. It becomes concerning Yeah, yeah, it's not yeah, yeah, I haven't eaten my burger kind of be honest with you in probably let's be here three weeks There's a timetable. Yeah, I ate one burger three weeks ago What? before that a year By the way, when you say I haven't eaten a booger in yeah, and then the number is three There's no there's no amount of time. That's okay Three three years it feels too soon. All right, it doesn't matter Three decades. Yeah, that's okay. That's good. Okay, how old are you now? Yeah, 54 Wow. Yeah All right, maybe cut that out then Then I can you cut that part out? Boogers oh, you don't want that out there. It's been weird I will say it's weird Weird it is find out that eat booger. It is weird And I think what he's reacting to the fact that you said the sentence lifelong booger either Yeah, yeah, I mean that's harsh it's hard Lifelong a lot and also it's coming from like I'm an NRA member. I'm a lifelong If I say it it's just banter if she says it it's like she studied it like she knows that it's a fact yeah, she has Research who's your favorite? guest on SNL you know I think you someone that you really I because I'm sure you have a list of people that you didn't like but Or that were kind of standoffish, but who is the guy that you're right now? I can't that was great I can't be hurt. You know bad bunny bad bunny was is amazing He's him and Pedro Pascal changed my life Wow, you know Yeah when the sketches that I did with them about the protective mom about the Latina mom and the whole thing that was like it's a Before and after yeah after we did protective mom with bad bunny and Pedro my best friend something who's here I went to an after party all my boys came and I walked into the after party and I saw them and I started crying Because it was like this is it's like from now on it's like a different yeah you had a successful thing with two big stars yeah it's like how exciting it changed my whole life how exciting it really i'll never forget it i said and and and yeah yeah yeah i just saw that clip too of ariana grande oh yeah the dancing one yeah dude they're amazing the the people that were child stars they're amazing at snl they just they know they read so well and like ariana ariana like sabrina yeah keenan is another one that is just unreal at the table yeah this is amazing this is amazing yeah and ariana came up with the idea for the pants and then she does this move amazing that's amazing come on wow she said we need to wear the same shoes we need to wear big pants yeah she's fun she's got ideas nice right yeah yeah she seems very nice very sweet did you see any of the wickeds you know i don't i don't either i don't watch a lot of them i don't watch a lot of movies yeah oh i watch pluribus you saw pluribus i saw the i finished it oh my god you finished i haven't finished it actually did i did i did i did it yeah yeah yeah i mean are you watching this i haven't yet you're a mother you take care of a baby i am watching finishing up task i know i'm really behind which one task task task mark ruffalo yeah that's all right i mean yeah okay but pluribus i mean what a show great great for pluribus i hear the second season is not for a couple years i know it's like one of those severance type things it's crazy to me yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah anyway um wait he has yes yes yeah yeah yeah are you serious yeah yeah no another one yeah yeah boss lady yeah so anyway uh how long have we been doing it only an hour 15 oh my god it's good you do a short one yeah yeah you come back i'd be back for you yeah i love you man all right give marcello a round of applause oh my god thank you american boy january 7th on netflix you you