Making Sense of The Met Gala & Being Perceived

[Music] Now, something I wanted to let you guys know. This is fucking crazy, okay? This is mind blowing for me. [Music] Welcome back to this week's episode of Make It Make Sense. Today we're making sense of the Met Gala and we're making sense of being perceived. If this intro sounds a little weird, it's because I forgot to film it in true because I had to re-record this episode. Basically, it was a bit of a hot mess this week, but I still think it's a good episode. And let's get straight into it. [Music] Guys, I literally recorded this episode and then I'm an idiot and I accidentally deleted the file. I didn't delete the file, like overrid the file. I seriously need an assistant or a producer or something. So, actually, if anyone out there wants to earn a bit of money, extra money, has a little bit of background in maybe producing or just wants to get amongst it and wants to be a bit of an assistant. Please reach out to me. I think I need someone to manage this podcast, honestly, because it's really hard to do by myself. Maybe I'm just inadequate or not going to lie. I am a little bit lazy. Like, in school, I always did my work last minute. Even if it was something I really enjoyed. Like, I just always did it last minute. I have a problem with procrastination. And, you know, I left, I leave this podcast to last minute to do because, like I said last week, I don't like missing events. And so, I leave it to last minute so that it can be really fresh and updated for you guys. But then, in leaving it last minute, I'm running a big risk. And yesterday, I ran that risk and it backfired on me. And I accidentally overrid the file with a past episode because I'm a silly Billy. Okay, that's the right. We move on. I'm re-recording. At least I know exactly what I'm talking about now. And I can articulate myself a little bit better and it'll be a little bit clearer. I'm sorry it's a day late. Some of you like Meg. I don't even notice. Like, I barely listen to your podcast, whatever. It's okay. I'm just going to be hot on myself. I think I'm going to start recording it maybe a day earlier. I'm just so, I have an extra day to get my shit together. But that's okay. Before I get into this episode, I just want to do a big shout out. Now, I have a friend who, I made friends through TikTok and we actually have a really similar background in terms of both our moms own dance schools and we grew up dancing. This girl's name is Alieux-É. And she lives in Sydney. And she is currently fighting brain cancer. I think she got diagnosed. I want to say it was at the end of last year, or the start of this year. And her life has completely changed. She posts really amazing, like she posts really well edited like fashion content. I think you guys should go check her out. But the reason I'm giving her a shout out is because she's such a light in this world and such a beautiful person. She has turned her struggle with her current battle with brain cancer. And she is going out there and she's helping other people. She started a non-for-profit organization called Because I Care. And it's on Instagram, but it's spelt because I see E-A-R-E because I care. So it's spelt. The word care is spelt differently. And with her non-for-profit organization, she is raising money to fund wigs and hair solutions for other people who are going through chemotherapy or navigating hair loss through cancer. And so it's a really amazing thing she's doing. She's a beautiful person. She's an actress. She's a content creator. She's a dancer. She's honestly amazing. And so I really urge everyone to go to her page because I care. See how you can get amongst it. See how you can donate to her non-for-profit organization. She's doing amazing things as well as sponsoring and hosting, not sponsoring but hosting dance classes where all the profit goes towards her non-for-profit organization. And I just literally think someone like that who is going through such a hard time and turning that into helping others is just speaks volumes about who she is and her character. So yeah, if you guys want to get amongst it, if you guys want to see her story, her name is Alia O'Shea and her non-for-profit organization is because I care. C-E-A-R-E. Go check it out. Go donate if you can. That would mean everything. Now I'm going to start this episode with a weekly update because I have some apologizing to do you guys. You know how I said I was going so aww, I'm literally an embarrassment. You know how I said I was going so bar? It did last a good two and a half weeks. I did break my sobriety on Saturday night. I'm sorry. I was just, you know, I was doing so well and then my sister was like, "Meg, do you want to come out or do you want to come to this place with my boyfriend and his friends?" And I just saw, "Yeah, I'll go for a couple." I literally wore such a casual outfit like sneakers, baggy jeans, and a basic top. I barely wore any makeup. I wore a slick back. And then one thing leads to another. It's just if you're in good company, you're just bound to have a good time. I was saying that I can control myself and I did go home by maybe 12.30 so it wasn't super, super late. And I wasn't hung over the next day because I had to go to a dance estate fit, which I'll get to in a second. But I want to put you guys on to the office's mess in Brisbane and New Farm. They've had a big glob. It used to be Riverside receptions. It's on the water. They've built like this big deck area. I actually think if they just got a DJ in there, that place would go off. I could have spent all night there, if you know what I mean. We had a table. I was on the peanut grease year. I love a peanut grease year at the moment. So random. Honestly, my taste buds this year have changed so much. Two things that I, two years ago, I never would have touched. Peanut grease year and an ice-long black. I don't know what it is about turning 25 in your taste buds, just randomly changing. But yeah, I was on the peanut grease year. I was in really good company having good chats. It was a good vibe at the office's mess as well. I've only ever been there for breakfast on a coffee walk and at night time, it's a vibe with all the fairy lights and stuff. And then naturally, we just ended up at 60s and 70s. Low. And then which was fun as well. I don't, yeah, it was good time. And then after that, my friend was, my friend that I was with said, "May I come to the story bridge?" I'm meeting up with a boy and he's got cute friends. And I go, "I'm there." I go to the story bridge. Do you think she had cute friends? No, she did not. Sorry, no offense to that friend. I'm not gonna say her name, but she knows who she is. And so I made my way back to James Street and then I met my other friends at the QA. I had a great time, had a little boogie if you saw my TikTok. And then I went home. I was in bed by like 12 o'clock. And then the next day, I had to go to Ipswich for my annual journey to Ipswich for the Ipswich Dancer Sedford. If you guys don't know, obviously I'm a dance teacher and we have like competitions and two of them out of three of them are at Ipswich. And I've spent my whole life going Ipswich pretty much twice a year. And it's all fun in games and you know, my student's dance really well and that was fun. I was not really that hungry if I was great. But I, and like, I don't know if I will continue to be sober because I have a barbecue this weekend, but I am driving. So I have like one or two. I'm just going to manage the print, been shrinking. I will not be going out. So I will not be seeing you guys there. And yeah, also my, I did a dance class the other day guys, which I haven't danced in ages. And then going to the Dancer Sedford. You know, sometimes with dance, if you listen to my podcast episode about my ballet journey and my eating disorder, have a bit of a love hate relationship with dance. Sometimes it's, you know, obviously I'm teaching all the time. I do love dance. Sometimes I get a bit over it. But when I actually get to dance myself and I, I love like a lyrical or a contemporary moment. When I get to do that, I, I don't know, it just ignited like a passion in me again. So I'm loving dance again, which is great. We'll see how long this lasts. I need to find like a healthy balance for it because when I'm only teaching and not dancing myself. A lot sometimes I just get a little. bit over it, but it's just doing a dance class is so great to just have a moment for yourself. And I really encourage if you're on some sort of healing journey to just do things that you know feel rewarding and make you feel like yourself. I don't know. I felt like after I did that dance class and going to watch at the dancer's set for the dance competition, I just had a moment where I was like, like, this is who I am. Ah, I don't know how to articulate it properly. Honestly, I even had this epiphany at the gym the other day. I was listening to rap music and I had like two coffees. So I was like pretty buzzed. And I was on the stairmaster and I was listening to this rap music. And I honestly was like, I think it was like the words that whoever the rapper was or whatever was saying. I was like, hell, yeah, I think I was just like just stormsy. His song shut up in Vossybop. Two bangers. I was listening to stormsy and I was like, you know what? I don't need anyone. Like I don't need a man. I just want to focus on myself. I really just want to be like I don't want anyone right now. I just want to be on my own and focus on myself, which is crazy. And I feel like I've said that before in this podcast, but I actually truly mean that now. I actually truly mean like I don't want anyone besides my friends, my family and me. I don't care. And like that's why I'm I'm not putting any energy into dating or anything like that or talking to people because I feel like I would be leading them on because I'm so not in that headspace. And I literally was like mine blown in the gym the other day. Oh my god. I only want to focus on myself. I don't want to focus on a partner and like what they're doing and texting them and wasting energy and time doing that. And it was truly like a lightbulb switch in my head and then doing the class. I was like, yes, this is for myself. I don't have to worry about like, am I going to go home and like cook for someone or is that person saying at my house or how are they feeling? Like I literally only have to care about myself and that is so freeing. And the right person will come into my life when I am finally content with myself and I am ready to do that. And I know I've said I've had that moment before but I truly, truly had that epiphany the other day. And I was like holy shit. And when that clicks in your brain, I don't know if anyone has felt this way. It's so freeing. And I feel like as women it's harder to do that because we're so emotional and once you've been in a relationship, you want to find love again. And I feel like guys are so good at letting that go and just focusing on themself. And that's why I had that epiphany and I was like, yes, this is about to be the best era of your life where you don't care and you can just go out and have fun. You go, I went out on the weekend. I'm not like looking for a boyfriend. I literally just had the best time with my friends and on my own. I didn't even care about finding a man. Like sure, I talked to some boys or whatever. But like when I do that, I kind of go in with the intention of like this is just going to be a friend, you know, it's so I really wish this to I wish everyone can experience this because it's truly so freeing. Okay, it would be rude not to this week's make it make sense is the Met Gala. And if you're not chronically online or you're not across pop culture, I'm going to be kind of breaking down some of the things I'm not going to be talking about who was best dress, whatever. I literally just want to break down some things about the Met Gala that you guys might find interesting. And then we are going to kind of discuss a little bit of controversy about the Met Gala as well. So the Met Gala is a fundraiser for the costume institute at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City. And every year there is a theme and a dress code. And it's basically like the biggest celebrities in the world or the most influential people in the world attend the Met Gala every year. And it's on the first Monday of May every year and it's it's like the Hunger Games of the most influential people in the world, which is crazy. This year's theme was costume art and the dress code was fashion is art, which in my personal opinion, this year has been my favorite theme in dress code compared to the past couple of years. I think another really good one was the year that was the camp year. That was really fun. But this year it was like the celebrities had no excuse not to go all out and dress as if they were an artwork and most celebrities that went based or designers, I should say, based the the dress or their outfits off a piece of art, which was so cool and it makes so much sense for the Metropolitan Museum of Art like going with the costume institute. If that makes sense, if you don't know the costume institute, they basically, I don't know what the words are for this, but they like preserve, I should say, preserve famous costumes from like movies, tv shows, times in history, influential moments and they preserve those costumes so that they can be used in the museum, which is like so so cool. And once this Met Gala is over, you can actually go and see this year's exhibit, which is costume art, which is fricking sick, okay? For someone like me, I think that's really sick. Now, something I wanted to let you guys know, this is fucking crazy, okay? Tickets, sorry, people celebrities get invited. A lot of the time designers will buy a table and then they will dress a celebrity, but the celebrity has to be invited. And the person that controls that is the editor editor and chief of Vogue and a wind tour. So she decides who gets invited, what table they're at and where they sit, etc. Now, once you're invited, tickets to actually attend the Met Gala are $100,000 USD. Obviously that all goes to raising money for the costume institute. Now, that is $139, $237 Australian dollars. So that means this year, in 2026, they raised $42 million for the costume institute. That is a lot of money. I actually don't know, like I don't know how much money it costs to preserve costumes. I don't actually know how big the exhibit is, how many people work for the costume institute, but that is a lot of fucking money, okay? Which is crazy and I think that is like what makes it feel a little bit, I mean, obviously you've got celebrities, the tickets are $100,000 USD. It's just like this huge event. And that's why I wanted to talk about Flynn Martin, who is a Aussie content creator, made a video and some things that he said, I agree with and some things I don't. So I wanted to break that down because I feel like that, that is more interesting than talking about who's best dress, who's not. You know, if you actually want to go see a video about who's best dress and who's not best dress, Chris Clemens is an American YouTube I spoke about him last week. He always posts a funny video about like breaking it down, which is always really entertaining. But if you want a more educational video on the Met Gala and like someone actually breaking down who the designer is, what the designer is referencing, the commentary about like the atelier of it all, like how the dress is made and like techniques or whatever. There is another YouTuber called Hotlamode and he's actually, he's pretty funny too, he's pretty cut and dry, but he's actually educational and it's interesting. I'll always watch, because I love fashion. I don't know much about fashion, but I will, when New York Fashion Week is on, I'll always just like put them on in my apartment and watch the different fashion shows. But yeah, he posts them more like educational and he's pretty entertaining as well. He's another good YouTuber to watch. So Hotlamode or Chris Clemens, if you want to see a video on YouTube, best dress, worst dress, whatever, I'm not going to break that down for you because it doesn't make any sense on a podcast that you're either like a handful of you will be watching this on YouTube, but most people listen to this so there's no point if you actually can't see it, I don't feel. But anyway, I was like going, Flynn Martin made a TikTok where he goes, oh, I'll actually explain who Flynn Martin is by the way. Flynn Martin, you might know him on TikTok as the Yo-Chi guy. He also got in controversy because he made a video about like. I think it was all satire, but it was about like going on a date and his date, he went on a date to Yoshi and his date ordered like a huge Yoshi and he basically like called her a fatty or something and he got a small Yoshi I don't know. So he got in controversy for that. He also got in controversy because he flamed so for no far for some reason. I don't really know what the background of that is. And then he also got in controversy because he said something about it being hard to be a straight white male and everyone like came for him about that. I actually think he has turned to leaf and he has gotten better and he's actually made a lot of content about his mental health when he made those videos was really bad but he has come a long way or something. I don't fucking know. I don't really know. Like I don't know him. I don't watch his content. I follow him. I know he says some interesting things. Anyway, he made a video about the Met Gala and this is what I will say I do agree with him about. He goes it just feels so dystopian and I 100% agree. Like you guys I just said the amount of money all of that costs, the outfits they wear, the amount of attention they get. You know it's like these really rich crazy celebrities and nepot Babies and people with a lot of money and like everyone's just like watching them. It does feel dystopian. It does feel a little bit like the Hunger Games and we're in District 12 and we're watching them in District 1. If you know what I mean, I do agree with that. And like you know it's like they're in the fancy fancy costumes and it's like we just glorify these people because we watch them on our television screen. You know I've made a video before about parosocial relationships so go listen to that if you want but maybe I should do an updated version of that and some of these people that are honestly there. I'm like how did you even become famous? Like for example like Lila Mo. Lila Lila Lila Moss. She's Kate Moss's daughter. I know she does modeling and whatnot but I'm like who are. Like what have you done? She's definitely famous because she's just like a big fat nepot baby and that's great. But that kind of part of it feels very dystopian and weird and I know like someone's uncle you know is like oh fucking mech like what is that? You know what I mean? Personally I love watching it and I love watching it from District 12 personally. I was talking to chat chbt about the MetGala just getting all these like facts and stuff and chat chbt was like do you want me to give you a plan on how you can get invited to the MetGala and I was like that is so funny because in what world would that ever happen? You have to be like one of the most influential or rich or just like relevant people in Hollywood. I think coming from Australia as well we like put that whole Hollywood America stuff on this huge pedestal and it's a bit like it's just so beyond our realm of what happens in Australia. Like the biggest kind of awards show thing we have in Australia is like the Logis or the actor awards or the Aryas or like dare I say controversial the Tik Tok Awards. Anyway so I will agree with him in the fact that it does feel dystopian and then he went on to say how like it doesn't feel right because of all the war and stuff going on in the world at the moment and I like I partially agree with that there's like nothing there is things we can do but you know life in other areas of the world like continues I guess. I know I didn't make a Tik Tok about like traveling to America when everyone was going to Coachella just feels weird but I guess this is different because most of these celebrities already lived there whatever and I do partially agree that it does feel weird when there's all this stuff going on in the world but I guess there's always going to be stuff going on in the world good or bad. The part that I do not agree with him about is when he says you know I guess we still have sports and sports games and stuff but that's different and that really pisses me off because you know we have people like Timothy Shilame going and saying oh I don't want to be a part of an art that is dying like he doesn't want to be a part of opera or ballet in something that no one wants to go see which is fucking crazy from him because he's literally a part of a movie franchise June that has the most epic soundtrack with orchestra and opera and he has the audacity to go and say that he doesn't want to be a part of opera things like opera or ballet that are dying and no one wants to watch and a lot of people don't like Timothy Shilame at the moment and I have to say I'm agreeing with that because that is the wildest fucking thing so anyone's ever said you know and it's crazy to me that he even said that we had people like him saying that a man might I add no offense to the man then we also have this fucking loser flop that I don't even know his name I made a tick talk about it and people said his name in the thing but I actually don't care who he is because I don't even want to give him the time of the day but he's this man and he went on this podcast and he said like oh it's so weird my mate was running a marathon and for the first five kilometers he had a girl next to him and I said dude that'd be so weird like imagine getting kicked he literally gave a verb what is that an adverb I don't fucking know he gave a verb for a woman beating him or a woman being next to him and like gave it a bad connotation and called it being checked and now we have someone as well being they're like being like oh when all this war's going on in the world it's okay to have sports but like God forbid there be something that celebrates art and culture and history the hell and because of that I wanted to like compare it to something that also feels crazy and dystopian and so because he said you know it's fine that we have sports on but this Matt Gala thing it feels so dystopian because like you know everyone's watching it all the money it's an America whatever so I wanted to compare it to something I'm gonna compare it to the Super Bowl okay so I did my research the average ticket to the Super Bowl cost between 4,000 and 6,000 USD I don't even know how much that is in Australian dollars but that's like the baseline tickets like that's the average tickets the most expensive tickets can go from 30,000 plus USD dollars okay USD dollars plus 30,000 USD that's a lot now 60 to 70,000 tickets are sold to the Super Bowl comparing that to the Matt Gala I'm gonna do exactly that the Super Bowl generates roughly 300 million to over one billion dollars in direct revenue for the NFL annually that's just the Super Bowl okay that's not even all the games leading up to the Super Bowl that is just the Super Bowl which if you guys aren't aware of the Super Bowl that's like the the finals of the NFL that's the final game and who wins for that year that's like the Super Bowl as the decider and that is annually driven by broad-costing rights so ads sponsorships merchandise and ticket sales now that was over one billion dollars in direct revenue to the NFL sorry I'm speaking like that let's compare that to a fund razor for the costume institute raising money for the costume institute in preserving history costumes art that raised 49 42 million dollars compared to 1 billion or 300 million dollars guys how can we sit here and say that the Matt Gala feels dystopian and crazy to be crazy to we have it on while there's war and crazy things going on in the world and that sport is okay to have when the Super Bowl makes that much money towards just the NFL like brand that is crazy and this is where I'm like oh my god we are like saying things like that and people believing in that and then people flaming things like the Matt Gala ballet opera whatever we are letting the patriarchy win and it's just sorry and then like these comments about I just got checked it's just like we I actually feel like we've reached our limit. Like we as a society are actually not getting any better at this. Like we there I don't ever believe that there is going to be a time in the future where everyone is a feminist and by the way the definition of feminism is that men and women are equal and that everything is going to be equal and that art is going to be appreciated and as much a sport is and I say this because art is generally more of a women dominated not women dominated but like it's more feminine of an area and sport is so male dominated and I just feel like those comments even just about like sports as different sports is okay that we have that and in a time where things are going on is just such a crazy statement to say and that's why I wanted to make sense of it. I know that was a big rant and some of you guys might think that that is a bit of a reach that I'm comparing the fact that someone says sport is okay during this time in art and the Met Gullis not to the patriarchy but that's just how I feel and make it make sense. I did want to talk about some of the other things that go on in the Met Gullis as well so every year they have different hosts of the Met Gullis and it's usually people that are like really influential so this year's co-chairs was Beyonce. Her this is crazy this is Beyonce's first Met Gullis in 10 years. You know you have people that grow to the Met Gull every year, Kim Kardashian, the Kendall Jenner, Kylie Jenner, Hayley Bieber, all those kinds of people whatever. But Beyonce hasn't been in 10 years and she brought her daughter as her date Blue Ivy who just like she I'm I didn't love her outfit if I'm being honest but like just the fact that she was there in the way she carried herself I was like wow she ate like she is going to be obviously she's just like the biggest nippo baby ever but I feel like she's gonna come out with something whether it's either like music art whatever and she's gonna be huge because just the way that she carried herself at that event I was like whoa and so yeah Beyonce was a chair of the event a co-chair sorry and then the other co-chairs were Nicole Kidman which is crazy because I feel like Nicole Kidman has been literally of her rocker lately Venus Williams which I was also like I appreciate Venus Williams as a sports woman but I actually like I'm not across her as much and didn't realize she was that influential but I could be wrong and of course Anna Wintor which is like yeah the girls for for women co-chairs they also have an honorary chairs which is Jeff Bezos who is the Amazon the guy who owns Amazon he's very controversial controversial and Lauren Sanchez who is his wife new wife now what is a chair so a chair is the face of the event someone who can attract donors and attention and then I started thinking to myself hey how do they choose because like Venus Williams like I'm just not across so like and Nicole Kidman really surprised me but like yes the Aussie in there right I was thinking how do they choose so I looked it up and how they get chosen is they have to have a massive cultural influence and I guess as someone who is Gen Z that I'm a little bit like I wish they had more of a Gen Z influential person in there I feel like these people definitely are more attractive to millennials or people older but that's fine they have to have a massive cultural influence an actual relationship with fashion so obviously they don't align with like fast fashion brands and they actually you know oh like amongst fashion I guess whatever that means they align with the theme and they bring money into the room but most importantly they are approved by Anna Winter so Anna Winter has to like them I guess bringing money into the room I guess why that's why someone like Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez would be honorary chairs because imagine the amount of wealthy millionaires billionaires that someone like that that is so respected by that group of people I'm not saying that they're respected by me or the general public but like respected by those kinds of people they attract those people so that they can raise more money for the costume institute and again that is like part of the reason why it feels so crazy and like weird and dystopian and you know yeah I'm not gonna go into like who is best dressed who's worse because you can watch the Chris Clemens and Hotlamo episode YouTube videos if you want but I will say I feel like Emma Chamberlain she was first on the carpet she does interviews to me she was best dressed she looked stunning she matched the theme perfectly I think she was in something like she was a custom muc-muclair I don't know if I'm saying that right dress and apparently it took over a thousand hours to make it which is cooked so I wonder how long they actually know that they've been invited to the Met Gala for I also will say I did not I never like Kim Kardashian's looks sorry Kim Kardashian I just she always misses the mark for me and sometimes she goes to things and she looks so cool but every year at the Met Gala she just fails but honestly you guys can go watch their videos if you want to look at best dress worst dress whatever and that is honestly my commentary on the Met Gala make it make sense and why am I so chronically online and if you are not I'm sorry but hopefully I made sense of the Met Gala a little bit more for you going along with this it kind of ties in honestly with the Met Gala and it's it's something that I'm struggling with a little bit at the moment and I just wanted to talk about it in real time while I'm struggling with it I think since my energy has shifted and I have de-centred men and I've de-centred dating I have centered something else that has become a little bit of a problem and that is the idea of being perceived and how I'm being perceived which to be honest with you I have never really cared about that much like I've always just posted whatever the hell I've wanted or one whatever I've wanted to wear presented myself however I've wanted to present myself but then randomly I've started worrying about being how I'm being perceived and I actually think that is how that ties in with me growing on social media not that I'm growing at a super rapid pace but like the more I grow the more I'm worried about how I'm being perceived I saw Maddie Dylan who is another content creator who lives in Queensland she posted a video where she was like a mental health check get ready with me and she's made a comment of like I haven't done one of these videos in a long time because as I've grown on TikTok I've done less like sitting talking to the camera videos and I feel like that has got something to do with thinking about how we're being perceived honestly as a human being in general there has never been a time when you're not worried about how you're being perceived and I literally think like your earliest memory even of like being in primary school you're constantly thinking about like what do I look like or does that person like me how does that person feel about me and it's in natural human instinct I honestly notice it mostly in my in my friends that don't do social media like for example like I'll just post whatever on my story or whatever and I had someone think I mentioned this a couple podcast episodes ago I had like this guy who is a sports I'll just say he's an AFL player and he's really well known because of he's attractive or whatever I guess and I hadn't followed me and a lot of my friends like freaked out over that personally I didn't really care I don't know why and I yeah don't get me wrong like I'll post a thirst shot every now and again on my Instagram story but I'll also equally just post a clip like from my podcast or I'll put a question on my Instagram story or I'll post something of me not looking so great on my Instagram story and my friends go oh my god Meg like but you know that that AFL player is gonna see that and I'm like I don't care and some of my friends will go and check if he still follows me I'm like guys I don't care I really don't care how I'm being perceived by that person like that's not why I'm posting on my Instagram story I post for me or like other people that follow me. But I mostly noticed this whole idea of being perceived by my friends that don't do social media like they weren't. They'll sit on a photo to post or a photo jump for the longest time and they'll get so anxious about it and I'll be like guys you really realize that no one cares. I have started to experience that I do still kind of post whatever I want but it more affects me in terms of all on TikTok all post a TikTok and if it's not performing well like if it doesn't have over a certain amount of views or likes after a certain time I will delete that video as embarrassing that is to admit I will delete that video because I don't want people to go onto my page and be like oh she's a loser she's only got a thousand views. Now that is so stupid because if I'm posting for myself you know it shouldn't matter but for some reason in my brain it does so I'm actually trying to work through not letting that affect me because you know I post things like for example I posted a TikTok where I was talking about like what my favorite flavor shape was which if you guys don't know it's a savory shape and it did really well obviously so I keep that video up and it's so frustrating because that's such a low-effort video that's literally just a conversation that I'm having with my friends but then I post another video where I'm doing a dance combination and I want to show everyone my dancing and I'm really proud of it and it gets like 5,000 views but a video of me talking about what my favorite shape flavor gets over 100,000 views and I want to delete my dance video is so bad but it's so but it's it's so important to me and I don't want to delete that video but I'm like oh do people not care do people think I'm a bad dancer is that's why it's not getting views and it really starts to affect my mental health because I'm like do I just not post the dance video or do I not post the strap where I feel really good and do I only post a low-effort ship video as well I'm talking about what my favorite flavor shape is you know even my podcast you know like that video will get a hundred thousand views but then my podcast clips will only get like 10,000 or less or my YouTube videos where I post my podcast will only get like 300 views and the my podcast on Spotify will only get like 600 listens which if you compare that to the low-effort shapes video it's really like I guess upsetting is the word and I need to make sure that I find a way to work on this idea of being perceived because I don't want to let it stop me for the long term because I know that just you know posting videos about what favorite flavor shape I like isn't gonna be long term but then doing podcasting dancing videos doing other things that I actually care about is long term and hopefully will work out for me in the long term and I just wanted to fully admit on this podcast that I'm I feel like at the moment I'm posting for validation a lot of the time rather than posting for myself and social media and like we have experiences through life obviously like you do things in life where you're worried about being perceived but as I've got an older and social media has become more important and there's more types of social media and there's more types of things you can post on social media the idea of posting for validation and getting validation through what you pose has been elevated by literally like 1 million 1,000% right like randomly we all are so worried about how we're perceived not only in the real world but also how we present ourselves on social media well and I had this realization where I was like oh my god I actually don't think I'm addicted to my phone I think that I'm addicted to being watched by people and I think the first the first step to getting over something is admitting it so there we go I'm admitted that I'm not addicted to my phone I'm addicted to being watched and perceived I feel like I do miss a part of my brain that like like I will post a video where I look like shit but my my addiction to being perceived isn't necessarily about like how I look or how I come across it's more like the numbers attached to that which I know a lot of people like only post a video where they're wearing makeup well they look really good like that's my idea of being perceived is not like behind that I actually don't care about that kind of stuff I feel like when I was centering dating and man I probably like would only post videos where I look good but now that I care more about myself I don't normally do that like tying in with the Met Gala thing I can like I know what level I experienced that and I know what level my friends that don't even do social media or aren't even in the public I experience that I cannot imagine actual like big influences and celebrities how they would experience the concept of being perceived and that's why you know people get famous and they get like they have this crazy mental breakdown like even I feel like some of your favorite content creators as they've grown you probably noticed that they've become more out of touch and I can truly understand how that would happen and how that idea of being perceived and then being perceived at such a large scale would fuck them in the head like I'm sorry to relate this to this person but I think I don't know if you guys know who Sam Guggenheimer is she's a content creator in Australia and she has just been through non-stop controversy and I do have to say I feel like that is because a lot of the time she comes across as she is a little bit shallow and only cares about what she looks like and she seems a little bit out of touch sometimes but that is because in her like development phase of being a teenager to being 24 she's just constantly being judged and perceived by people so no wonder that would mess you up in the head and like how it would be hard to stay down to earth when you have people constantly commenting on your life and how you look and how you talk to other people in your videos and who you're hanging out with and so that's why I feel like she has been through so much controversy and that's also why I feel like she has yeah it's been through so much controversy and now like she's randomly doing like blow up with me series which she's still in her journey I guess and honestly if and if I ever get to a point where I'm like super out of touch and people I'm like going through something clearly I need someone to step in and tell me make whoa I don't know if that make make it make sense I don't know if that does make sense I feel like everyone experiences this not just influences celebrities but literally like every person day to day so I came up with a bunch of questions would you questions that you can answer yourself if you are someone that is struggling with the idea of being perceived and you need to work on yourself I'm literally asking myself these questions guys and I feel like it's so relevant in 2026 it's literally one of the biggest problems that people face on a day-to-day basis I know this is one of the biggest problems I face on a day to day basis so I'm gonna ask the these questions would you still get ready and do your makeup if no one was going to see you would you still wear that outfit if no one complimented it would you still take a hundred photos to get one good one if you couldn't post it would you still fake 10 if you weren't going anywhere would you still go to Pilates if you couldn't post a mirror pic after would you still go to that new cafe if you couldn't post the food would you still travel to that place if no one knew you went would you still vlog your day if it was never uploaded would you still care about your aesthetic if no one saw it would you still go out tonight if you couldn't post a single thing would you still be friends with certain people if no one knew you were would you still have the same personality if no one was watching would you still do your hobbies if you couldn't share them would you still chase that goal if no one clapped for you would you still feel successful if no one knew what you were doing would you still be confident without validation I feel like you guys can answer those questions I was a lot of questions I'm literally like thinking in my head some of those honestly I'm like whoa I just think it's really good to reflect honestly and I feel like the Met Gala and the I'd year of being perceived gore hand in hand and I don't know if anyone else is struggling with that even if you're not a content creator even if you're just you just post for your friends and family on social media I feel like everyone can relate to that something to think about for this week (upbeat music) Okay, that's all I have for this week guys. Thanks so much for listening. Please like, comment, and subscribe or follow me on Spotify, even comment on the Spotify if you can. Again, please go check out because I care and get amongst it however you can. I really hope you enjoyed this episode. I'm so sorry that it was a day late, but I had to re-record unfortunately. Let me know if you have any other thoughts, opinions about my comments about the Met Gala. Leave a comment on who you think was best dress and leave a comment if you think someone was worst dress. I think that'll be really fun to talk about in the comments. And I'll see you guys next week. Love you and make it make sense. (upbeat music)