Madonna Fans Are Dumber Than Weed Guys | Joe DeRosa Vile and Horrendous

Tammy regularly hauls stuff to her kids at college. That's why she shops at BJ's Wholesale Club, saving up to 25% off grocery store prices. Beef jerky, microwave meals, laundry pods, even they can't screw up. Have you met my kids? And with BJ's gas, she gets there for less. They call me the road warrior. This is your home, road warrior mom. Home of the Save. Join for just $20 at bjs.com slash mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months. Open soon. Limited time offer, new members only. BJ's. Home of the Save. Home of the Save. Cut it early, cut it early, cut it early, cut it early. Cut the music. We're ready to go. It's a big day today. We're cutting that music early because there's a lot going on today. Today is August 6th, 2026, which means, folks, it is my birthday. Are there graphics? There will be. Balloons and things? Yes, this episode is airing on my birthday. Uh, 49. Shoot me in the fucking head. 49, only look 56. Dear God. Uh, you might be wondering, folks, well, Joe, if it's your birthday, where is the cake and the candles? Well, there's no cake, but we got candles. Uh, because I didn't quit smoking. I just cut back. I'm smoking way less, which is. It's like saying I'm doing less crack. Uh, anyway, uh, here we are. And we got a huge announcement, uh, today for the birthday episode. Uh, it is also the day that my special, I Never Promise You a Rose Garden, is officially on Netflix. Um, I can't thank everybody enough that watched this special over the last, I guess it was year, year and change, on YouTube, and, uh, got it enough love and recognition and notice that, uh, I'm doing less crack. But, uh, Netflix has now picked it up. And, uh, it's still there on the YouTube, but I would really appreciate it if you could watch it on Netflix. This is certainly a big moment for me. Um, and I'm extraordinarily proud. I really, really want to thank everybody. I'm gonna say now what everybody always says when they're talking about something like this. There are far too many people to mention, but that is the truth. Uh, there are far too many people to thank. An incredible amount of people came together to make this special come to life. Uh, and I'm really, really, really, really, really, uh, Eric Abrams, Jordan Levy, Matt Shuler, uh, my managers, uh, Emilio Savone and Claire Livingston, uh, Nick Angelo, uh, uh, my God, uh, uh, Scott Linder, uh, it's just, the list goes on and on and on and on. There are so, so, so many people that just did incredible work to make this whole thing happen. And I'm not, I hope, I hope, I, I'm not forgetting anybody. I'm just not able to name everybody. Um, but it was in a really, really incredible crew. Uh, we even had some of the people, like, like in the, in, with cameras and, and, and that department, we had some of the, we had some of the tires folks from the tires crew working on our crew. It was a real kind of family affair. Most of the people that, uh, I worked with on this were people that I have worked with either in the past, uh, or currently work with in some other capacity on another production. So, this was really, really special. It's the hardest I had ever worked ever on a comedy hour. Um, and, uh, and it was a joy to get to make it exactly the way I wanted to make it. Uh, because people helped me bring that vision to life 1,000% and I can't believe that it's now gonna be on Netflix, or is on Netflix. Um, alright. Mushy, mushy, mushy, mushy. It all feels very beautiful. That it dropped on my birthday and everything. And I also want to thank the Netflix folks. Thank you to, uh, Joanne Grigioni and Robbie Praugh and the whole crew over there for, for making this happen. Um, I appreciate y'all. All of you, thank you. But especially you, the people that watched and had such wonderful things to say. And, and, and, and. I'm very touched, people. I'm trying not to get misty here. Uh, and thank you to the comedy community. All my friends that helped me push this thing. And, uh, and get it out there. Andrew Santino, Tony Hinchcliffe, Joe Rogan, Ari Shafir. Um, that, that list also goes on and on and on and on. Uh, Tim Dillon. Like, it's just, um, thank you all. Love you all. I appreciate you all. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Go watch I Never Promised You a Rose Garden, uh, on Netflix. Today. Or tomorrow. Or when you get around to it. But do it today. Okay! Let's now get into the show. Welcome to Vile and Horrendous. Uh, I think this is episode, what, 14? Yes, sir. I am your host, the Vile Horrendous. And, uh, we're gonna kick things off with a PSA and a special PSA today in honor of everybody that had issues with my take on Madonna last week. Saying, uh, hey, she's still got it, even though she's 67, I believe it is. Uh, well, I'd like to. I'd like to show you a video from 2004, that is, 22 years ago. Let's take a look. Here's your PSA. Madonna, best fucking live act. Fuck off! Since when has lip syncing been live? Sorry about that. But I think. I think everyone who lip syncs in public on stage when you pay, like, 75 quid to see them should be shot. Thank you very much. That's me off her fucking Christmas card list, but do I give a toss? No. Thank you very much. Elton John going hard in the paint. Elton John going hard in the paint, man. And Elton John, great example of a guy that, uh, you know, he did it. He was performing well, and I think. I don't think he retired until he was in his 70s. Uh, and he was going out there. Excuse me. Ooh, I just burped in the middle of a sentence. Ooh, I just burped again. Third one? No. Okay. He's a guy that was still going out there and doing it, but doing it within the bounds of how it needed to be done, and doing it in the way that he could deliver a great show. Okay? Uh, and he did. I saw Elton John in the last. in the last couple years of his touring, and he was absolutely incredible. And what did he do? He sat, he sang, he did the songs, he was awesome. And that was my only point with Madonna. I was not saying Madonna needs to stop doing music. I didn't say that at all. I know it's crazy to comprehend a 30-second clip on Instagram maybe didn't rep. represent the entire take, and God for fucking bid, anybody go click on anything to read more, or learn more, or hear more, whatever, fine. I know I'm asking for too much, but the point is, I never said Madonna should stop. What I said was, she should stop trying to act like she's 22 years old, because she clearly has some hip issues or something, and she, I, she's going to hurt herself. That's not a crazy take, people. It's not a crazy take to say, I think you shouldn't do this in this way, because you might hurt yourself, which is why I brought up, uh, uh, uh, Dolly Parton, all right? That's, that's it. It just, I said, just go out, sing the songs. People love it. I didn't say she should make different music. I didn't say her records don't sell anymore. I didn't say she should quit. I just said she should stop trying to act like she's 22 still. That was it. That was all I said. And boy, oh boy, did the Madonna fans have something to say. Ladies and gentlemen, congratulations. Let's set off some champagne popping bottles here or whatever. Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. It's cause for celebration, right? We found a group of people dumber than the weed enthusiasts. The Madonna supporters, the Madonna supporters. Oh, my God. Here we go. Let's go through some of these comments I got from the Madonna, the Madonna sect. Let's just go through them. Yourself. Thank you. Okay. That's a fair point from Charlie Real. Seaski says, ha, ha, exclamation point, dot, dot, dot, lowercase. Again, back into this grammar camp of people that don't know how to use ellipses or punctuation correctly. You're missing the entire point of her career. She's not going to stop being controversial now. This is not controversial, dipshit. controversial is being controversial. It's saying something edgy. It's doing something edgy. Her on a spinning platform where she's about to fall over is not her being controversial. I didn't say take off the short shorts, all right? I didn't say stop talking about sex. I didn't say stop being edgy. I said sit the fuck down before you hurt yourself. Again, not really a controversial take on my part. Let's go to the next comment. But you say nothing about the Rolling Stones. Again, ellipses, half an ellipses, two periods. Come on, full ellipses, dot, dot, dot. Mick Jagger, question mark, exclamation point, another half ellipses, back to lowercase. That's okay to strut around like he did when he was young, question mark, dot, dot. This guy loves a half ellipses. Fucking double standards. Now he's got the exclamation point in front of the question mark, but he's asking, added a second question mark. Still, question mark now back in front of the exclamation point. They're typing so fast in blind rage. They're not even consistent with the way they use the punctuation. It's just funny to me. Come on. You're wrong, Naomi Gray. You're wrong, sis. I say all the time, Mick Jagger, put your goddamn shirt back on. Nobody wants this. I say it all the time. I just didn't say it in the one clip you said. I didn't say it in the one clip you said. From a segment that you didn't watch. And by the way, I didn't say it in that segment either because the segment wasn't about Madonna. The segment wasn't about people at a certain age doing a certain thing. The segment was about reality unraveling. And I said, here's what it looks like when we keep trying to cater to the youth and how there's a difference between not wanting to grow up and wanting young people to like you. I had time to make one example. I used the word "relevant" because she's got a new record out, and everybody's talking about her performing live. That's why I did. Ooh, ooh, ooh. All right. I love this. I love people that tell you what you say in your life. Do you know what I mean? Oh, but you never say this. Oh, I'm sorry. Do you come to my conversations that I have all the time? Are you sitting there? I haven't noticed. Hey, Naomi, I didn't realize we were hanging out. Never saw you there before. Let's go to the next one. Uh, every generation has their Madonna, and it's usually Madonna. I don't know what that means. I think my focus was on this middle comment here. There is such a double standard. Male rock stars are still performing, and nobody tells them it's time to hang it up. People tell them all the fucking time to hang it up. Do you fucking people read or look at anything outside of your algorithm? Please, Cougar, can we please pull up the story I texted you today? 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So for a limited amount of time, you can actually start your wallet with a little bit of bonus cash in there, a few bonus dollars, by downloading the Rumble Wallet and using my exclusive promo code VILE5. That's V-I-L-E number five. When you sign up now, you can scan the QR code or just use the link in my description. Then you download Rumble Wallet and you try it for yourself. Don't forget, you're going to use code VILE5 and claim, what? Five bucks in U.S. stable coin. So for some of you, this might be the first crypto you own, and it's free. Once you use it, you'll feel the difference between just accessing your money and actually owning it. Restrictions apply. There are a limited number of entries available. Terms and conditions apply. See the description below or visit rumble.com slash promo official rules for details. Hank joined BJ's Wholesale Club the day he became a father of 30. I coach football. Now Coach Hank saves up to 25% off grocery store prices, 30 pounds of pasta, three cases of protein bars, 75 sports drinks. And that's just pregame. He knows how to work. And BJ's knows savings. This is your home, Coach. Home of the Save. Open soon. Limited time offer. New members only. BJ's. Home of the Save. Music legends. It's time to leave the stage for our sake. Fans are paying hundreds to relive the glory days, but too often they're left watching their musical hero struggle through one more encore too many. Cougar, do me a favor. Scroll down. And I want you just to cycle through the pictures here. Uh, well, the first one was Barry Manilow. That's a man. Here's Frankie Valli. That's a man. Well, Barry Manilow again. That's a man. Barry, sit the fuck down. This is what I'm talking about. Sit the fuck down. Go ahead. Oh, David Lee Roth. Is he a man? I think he's a man, right? I know he looks like Ellen right there, but he's a man. Uh, go ahead. Uh, Rod Stewart. Again, a man. Yeah. Rod Stewart looking like Paula Deen, but it is a man. Wow, that's weird. It was all men in that one, but nobody criticizes the male rock stars. God damn it. Nobody knows what they're talking about. Everybody criticizes the male rock stars, including myself. Including myself. I'm a massive ACDC fan. I don't want to see ACDC out there now unable to, and I'm not shitting on them. Is this for my birthday? Thank you so much. Now it's a party. I'm not shitting on ACDC. I don't want to see them out there pushing themselves in a way where it seems like it's not working for them anymore. I like Madonna. I don't want to see her pushing herself in a way that it seems like it's not working for her anymore. Frankie Valli, this is fucking elder abuse. Literally, there's people saying like that this is goddamn elder abuse. Like people are like, what's going on? He doesn't know where he is. He's like, he's lip syncing, but he's got the mic. Like a Chuck E. Cheese animatronic. It's crazy. All right, pull this down. Let's hit a few more of these Madonna comments. We'll go fast through these last few. We don't got to spend too much more time on this. Now she looks great, but she can still move. No, she can't. Go to the next one. Oh my God. Have you listened to the new album? Obviously not. No, I have actually. Because if you had, you would hear her best work in existence. It's not her best work in existence. Confessions on a Dance Floor 1 is better than Confessions 2. Confessions 2 is very good, but it's not her best work. If you can't, whatever. If you can't handle Madonna at this age, it's your problem. But please, I love, I just, it's so funny to me, man. Like they come at you as if you've never heard of Madonna and you're talking out of your ass. I'm a massive Madonna, not massive, but I'm a big Madonna fan. I'm a big Madonna fan. Again, the point was never to tell her to quit. Okay? You can pull this down. We don't got to go through any more of these comments. But there was tons of these. And trust me, people, there were a lot calling me, of course, ugly and whatever else. I chose not to focus on those. Look, people, I love Madonna. Okay? But here's the thing. I'm just, I'm not telling her to hang it up. I'm telling her to stop taking Molly and dancing like she's 20 years old. Okay? Maybe she's not on Molly. I don't know. She looks like she is. Maybe she's not. All right? Sit in a rocking chair the way Phil Collins did on his last tour. When Genesis toured, Phil sat in a chair on that last tour because physically he couldn't do what he used to be able to do. There's no shame in that if you still want to get out there and do it. Okay? That's it. You know, I mentioned this before. I mentioned this before. I mentioned ACDC earlier. They're able to still strut around and everything. I don't love that the notes can't be hit the way they used to. Do I want to hear that? Not really. In my opinion, go out on top, whatever. Do what Seinfeld did. We're going to call it quits before this gets too old. Yeah, I think that is a better route to take. That's my personal opinion. Okay? I really wish we could have the Madonna we need right now. There's a version of Madonna we really need right now. This is very positive Madonna talk. Okay? But she's not giving it to us. Okay? Instead of her strutting around like the mom we need right now, she's still trying to look like the cool younger sister. And it's disappointing to me. Okay? We don't need another Trump. We don't need another wild card. We don't need another I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want no matter how it works or looks. We need a leader right now. Madonna. You could be one of our leaders right now. Give us that boss bitch energy we need, Queen. Queen, give it to us. Wouldn't that be nice? Wouldn't it be nice? nice to have Queen Madonna? No, instead we're getting the drunk lady at the end of the bar who falls off her stool because she has too many Mai Tais. That's what it looks like. It's a bummer. I am sorry. That's it, okay? And last but not least, I forgot to screenshot this one. Somebody said, where's your album? Well, it's on Netflix. It came out today. But also, I do have a music album, Salsa Windfall, Christ Almighty, our latest record. Go check that out wherever you stream your music. And people keep asking, yes, the opening music from the show, Salsa Windfall, the song is called Creeping In. It's coming soon. It's actually being mixed and mastered right now. And we're going to release two versions. We're going to release the actual song with the vocals and guitars and everything. And we're going to release the version that plays on the podcast, which is some of the vocals. So you can have it either way. All right, let's move on. Moron, morons. Okay. Folks, due to my special coming out today on Netflix, have I mentioned that yet? I thought I'd kind of expand on one of the things I talk about in the special for this segment. You'll see what I mean when you watch the special, I hope. But I'll just tell you here. There's a part in the special where I talk about the ailing unity. Unity doesn't exist, anymore. And the example I use is people are throwing their family members under the bus on the internet. You know, people want to talk about unity. There is no unity. People are throwing their family members under the bus on the internet. There couldn't be a greater example of a dearth of unity. I find it interesting. We all seem to be obsessed with this concept of unity, but none of us really seem to exercise it in any way, shape, or form. And the epitome, again, of not exercising it is throwing your family members under the bus online so strangers that you've never met will like you. You see this all the time. Well, my mom voted for Trump. We're done. Well, my dad voted for Kamala. We're done. Let me get this straight. Your parents did something you don't like, and now you hate them, and now you want to tell us all about it? Whose parents don't do things their kids don't like? Where are these magical parents at? My parents have been pissing me off since I was four. Since I was four. To this day, they make me furious. Constantly. Once a week, my parents make me furious with something. Okay? And you know what I do? I shove it deep down, and then I go home for Thanksgiving. Because that's how fucking family works, people. All right? I don't complain about it on the internet so a handful of other miserable dickheads might follow me. It's gross. Out of all the despicable, disgusting, unsavory, shitbag, gross, dickhead, piece of garbage, weasel, rat, fink, pig, fuck, greasy, slippery, underhanded, absolute degenerate cocksuckers out there on the internet, this type of person bothers me the most. This person bothers me the most. By the way, I need to stop saying on the internet or specifying online. These people we see out there on social media and whatnot, this is clearly just who the fuck we are now. It used to be a sample group. It's not. This is no longer a select group of individuals. This is who the fuck we are. All right? Anyway, out of all the scum out there, the people that bother me the most are the tattletales. There's tattletales. Is every single person online now some sort of tabloid journalist? When did everybody become a whistleblower? Okay? And I'm using that term to mean, I'm using that term loosely because none of them are blowing whistles on anything of importance. All right? All day long, people are making videos whining about nothing that matters to the rest of us. Okay? But I need to be clear about something here. I'm not talking about people with real issues addressing real problems that need addressing. That's not what I'm talking about. That goes on the internet too. That is not what I'm talking. I'm talking about here. That is not what I am talking about here. This is how much you have to specify what you fucking mean now because people will just not hear it and go, oh, yeah, I guess we should stop talking about child abuse then on the internet. No, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the people blowing whistles on things that don't matter. An example, I met a celebrity and they were rude and I want to tell all of you all about it. This is a bunch of trivia. Bullshit. People going public with a bunch of trivial bullshit, okay, that doesn't fucking matter, okay, and they're doing it as a means of turning the tiniest of tragedies into clicks and likes for themselves. It's tabloid shit. This is ambulance chaser horse shit. It's making a case out of absolutely nothing for your own benefit. I met a celebrity. I'm going to tell you all. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Especially if you're somebody in entertainment doing it to another entertainment. I worked with him and he was a dick at the craft services table. He got my name wrong. Shut the fuck up. Whatever happened to, man, that guy was a dick. Oh, well, I guess I'll just shut the fuck up and go on with my day. Those are the good old days. Not anymore. Now it's a seven-part post on threads from a bartender. They're depicting the details of some B-list celebrity not tipping the bar staff enough during a Super Bowl party. And then to top it all off, he sent his mozzarella sticks back three times. Oh, that's riveting. Riveting. Make it the first chapter in your tell-all book. Nobody gives a rat's ass. I coach football. Now Coach Hank saves up to 25% off grocery store prices. 30 pounds of pasta. Three cases of protein bars. 75 sports drinks. He knows teamwork. Home of the Save. Join for just $20 at BJ's.com slash mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months. Open soon. Limited time offer. New members only. BJ's. Home of the Save. Your favorite friend group is back. FX's Adults follows five roommates living in New York, leaning on each other to navigate love, work, friendship, and family. While tackling pressing questions of your 20s like, what if the person who inherited your fake ID is cooler than you ever were? Why does being around your family make you regress into your worst self? And how do you tell your roommates that you have other friends? FX's Adults. All episodes now streaming on Hulu. These posts I'm talking about, they often involve celebrities. Sometimes they involve people's parents, right? Whatever. But it's a lot of times. It's celebrities because the idea here, obviously, is to gain clout for yourself. And that would be most effective if you're talking about somebody with some kind of notoriety, right? And also, it makes sense when they talk about their parents and their family's politics because now you're in the political thing and that gets you traction. But it doesn't stop there. It doesn't stop there. Here's another group of fucking morons that deserve to die alone. These people that do blow for blow breakdowns about how bad a first date was. This is insane. And let me be clear. When I say bad date, I just mean a date that wasn't good. Again, nothing horrible happened. It was just a lousy date. A date that was unfulfilling and left the person feeling disappointed. That's it. In other words, the way 99 out of 100 dates goes. 99% of dates, that's what it is. Well, that sucked. Time to go on. But no, these people got to go online. Full fucking time. Fucking tattletale. First off, I can't believe the restaurant he took me to. Can you believe he took me to Outback? I walked out. Good. Walk out and walk into the river. You deserve no companionship. Good on you for taking a stance. Aren't you brave? He was only trying his best. Yeah, but he deserves public shame for that. And I'm not picking on women. I'm not picking on women. Women do tend to do the date breakdowns more frequently. I'm not complaining, right? Men don't seem to do that as much, but here's what men do. Women do the breakdowns complaining about the beginning of a thing, first date. Men do it at the end. Men love to exploit the end of a relationship. These dickless wonders, okay? They're doing these videos. You ever see these videos? You ever see a video where a guy is videotaping his girlfriend during the final fight of their relationship as a means to justify why he broke up with her? She's screaming at him. Somebody would pull their phone out while I'm yelling at them in an actual argument. I promise you that phone will, that video will never make it to the internet because the phone will never make it out of the room because it will be against wall in a million pieces on the goddamn floor before it can even back up to the iCloud. I smashed your fucking phone. Call the cops. Oh, guess what? You can't, because your phone is in a million pieces right now. Ladies, start snatching those phones. Don't put yourself in danger, but start snatching those phones. Side note. While we're talking about phone smashes, if anybody ever comes up to me on the street and just puts their phone in my face like they do to people on the internet, guess what? It will be smashed. It will be smashed. Which is also the name of P.T. Anderson's latest movie, Daniel Day-Lewis starring in It Will Be Smashed. Can we get a mock up of that, please? Movie poster? Yeah. Anyway, back to the tattle tales. There is a great George Carlin piece about this that I implore you to listen to, because he predicts all of this happening back in 1999 or 2000. He had a piece called Rats and Squealers, and it's on his album. I kind of like it when a lot of people die, which came out in 2016, but was stuff recorded back in '99 or 2000. Go check out this piece of material, because it's not just amazingly predictive. It speaks to the much greater point and issue here. This is not a passive thing. We cannot go on like this. Our unity is hanging by a thread, and thread is putting it generously. This is a pubic hair. A tether holding us together here. Without discretion, we will have paranoia. With paranoia, we will not have trust. Without trust, we will have chaos. And there has to be some sort of social bond that lets us know we can misstep once in a while in the smallest ways possible, without somebody actively trying to ruin our lives for their own small game. Indulging in this piece. This is a very important part of the story. about it. And I'm also going to live stream them. Well, why do you think you can get away with that? Because my name is Dracula. And I can do whatever I want. I got to be honest. I'd be swinging my dick around if my name was Dracula too. But God, these guys are dumb. Guys, stop ratting yourselves out. Stop ratting other people out. Stop ratting. For the love of God, I don't know what the answer is. But please, just stop ratting. I know what the answer is. Instead of posting that thing where you tattletale somebody, go watch I Never Promised You a Rose Garden on Netflix today. Let's go to plugs really quick. All right, folks. I got some shows coming up. August 6th. Again, my birthday. That's today. That's tonight. Lafayette, Louisiana. Tonight, I'm at Club 337. August 14th and 15th, Joke World Comedy Festival in St. Pete, Florida. September 18th, The Big Room in Grand Rapids, Michigan. September 19th, Art Theater in Hobart, Indiana. And September 20th, The Drop Comedy Club, South Bend, Indiana. 23rd to 25th, The Comedy Mothership here in Austin, Texas. November 13th through the 15th, Skankfest in New Orleans. And November 19th through the 23rd, The Burt Kreischer, fully loaded at Sea Cruise. There's another, at least one more massive show coming before the holidays hit. I will be announcing that very soon. Go to Jotarosa.com for tickets. We'll see you next time on Vile and Horrendous. And we will leave you with a bunch of people going crazy. White women's. And we'll leave you with a bunch of people going crazy. White women's. White women's. We'll leave you with a bunch of people going crazy. I coach football. 30 pounds of pasta, 3 cases of protein bars, 75 sports drinks. He knows teamwork. Home of the save. Join for just $20. Join for just $20 at BJ's.com slash mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for 6 months. Open soon. Limited time offer. New members only. BJ's. Home of the save.