Lushious Massacr's Plan for World Peace Through the Booty Hole with Trixie and Katya

wait wait so here we go so you are not just a fart you're a queefa i'm yeah i can do both yeah double trouble double trouble why don't you do a gas release yeah and i have to guess if it's a queef or a fart that's a fart correct do you know why i think i know that i think a queef has more of a like i don't agree really i think they both sound very similar are you able to do a queef to hear the difference see there's a man okay yeah i agree okay what about this one was that a a thief that was a thief girl can i just welcome to the pod I don't know why. Oh my God, that's exactly why I came here. You got in the good drag to sit here for her to show that to you. Well, actually, let me tell you this. Have you, what do you, what would we call, because you know when the girls are getting pounded down and the booty hole's just loose. A squelch. And it starts making like fart noises, but it's not a fart. She's talking. She's talking to you. It's gibberish. What would you call it? Making that ass talk. Okay. It's like a, would it be like a buff? Well, it's like, you know how you want to make it clap? You want to make it talk. Right. I don't want to be fucked in a way where my body is making completely out of control, like rhythmic. Well, no, no, no. It's not like a seizure. It's not like a booty seizure. It's just like a, it's like a. It's just things that have, what about cream? Have you ever creamed? Do you ever get so pounded so disgusting that you just start like fuzzling cream out of your booty hole? No, that's shit. It's kind of a bourbon glaze. No, no, no. It's not brown. It's completely white cream. It's like a thousand islands. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a little ranch. It might even be a little foam. It might be foamy. It's like a whole milk latte. Yeah. But have you ever creamed? That's my question to you. No. No. It's never been that serious. Honestly, after that happens, I just. I cream and squirt. I don't relate to. I squirt too. I don't relate to like windows open, full light. Windows open. Windows open. And then after the sex, we're not going to clamp me open and I'll take a look. Like once things have happened, I'm like, like cover everything. Throw the, throw the tarp over the bottom. Like I dropped the Jurassic Park. Cover the dig. Like, you know what I mean? Cause we've been dug out. So officially Trixie Mattel is not ran through. No, she's a pilgrim woman with the tightest little pussy. She takes care of her booty home. Well, no, it's not that I've not had done sex things when it comes to anal penetration. I need to be in love pretty much. Okay. But when you are in love, you do let them go in there and destroy the house. Of course they bought the house. Ransacked. They own the house. They live in the house. Okay. Squatters. Okay. I love that. Obviously, if you guys are listening, we have the one and only luscious massacre in the city. Yeah. And I do hope you are watching because you are about to have the hardest to mess and boner you have ever had in your life. What do you mean? Looking at your gorgeous body and face. I will say, I do love that I came on here and y'all are just men. We don't dress up for this. Just looking like dudes. This is the only thing we don't dress up for. Excuse me. Oh, sweetie. Wait, is that a wig? Is that a wig? Don't do this to me. Is that a wig? Cause I was about to say, the balls are beautiful. I know these girls are balls. She got her shrubbery on. You said, is that a wig? Oh my God. Girl, it looked like a boss. You know what? Isn't it hard to present as male? I don't find it difficult. You don't find it? She does. Girl, her fucking wig looks- I find it difficult. Her wig looks like lichen growing on the side of a moss. Like I literally scalped a 17 year old skater. Okay. You know what I mean? No. Did you ever experiment in like a boy look? A rough and tough boy look? I'm currently going through a phase right now where I'm like, when I'm a woman, I'm a woman. And when I take the wig off, I try to be a man. But you know what? Naturally, I'm just so feminine. I'm such a, you know, I call myself a creature during the day. Creature. Yeah. I got no brows on. Mary, that's what we've talked about this so much. Bitch, my hairline looks crazy. Like in what world do I look like male? But I try. I try to present. My fave is when the girls out of drag, they look like they're doing a drag king turnabout show. They have basically the chin strap on and the fedora. Oh, see that. And they walk into the club perpetrating. Oh my God. And you go, is that Mariah? You know, like I'm not, I'm from the school of if you're a guy, you're a girl. You're a goddess at night. You're a goblin during the day. Yeah. Those are my favorite kind of drag queens. Me too. You can have it both ways. During the day, you don't even look like you belong in society. Yeah. It's very middle earth. Oh, it's middle earth. You look like a creature. Yeah. Like a monster from another planet. Like you sacrifice your masculinity for drag. You do. That's old school drag. It is old school. A lot of the kids these days really don't want to do that. Because it is hard. Like when I. Well, you know, the kids nowadays, they're just having a hard time. They're just having fun. These kids. Yeah. With their wet hair and no titties. Thank God. Thank God there's a woman in here today who's willing to talk about it. Because all these girls, they might have wigs and they might have dresses, but I don't know if the girls are doing drag. Well, it's because you know what it is too. A lot of the girls now, it's paint by numbers. They're inspired by all these queens that came before. They're at the paint your own pottery studio. Yes. Oh, they got the YouTube. It's hard to find originals anymore. Well, because they're at the drink and draw. Drag. They're at the drink and draw. I don't know. They're just playing in makeup and wigs, the girls. It's Halloween all year for the girls. It's Halloween all year. No, listen, this Halloween, I didn't do any. They were like, what are you going to do for Halloween? Be a man. Sweetie, I've been doing Halloween all day long, all year long. I'm tired of it. I get like volatile when people are excited about Halloween. I want to go like, you think your costume is something? Yeah. You look like shit. You look like shit. We've been doing this out here in the streets. We were doing this during Easter, bitch. I was in drag during Valentine's Day. Divorce court. I'll be doing this. I'll be in this on November 1st. Sweetie, rise, rise. Baby, I've been in drag all year long. I'm tired of this. I'm exhausted. Just give it up at this point. I have some questions. Yeah. I met you years and years ago. Have you met her before? I don't, when, I don't. You have, let me tell you this. She met me once. It was at a drag con. I was coming out. She was going in. Was it New York? You were so nice to me. She looked, she took one look at me and she said, bitch, you look sick. You are in drag. I said that? And I said, why? Yes, I am in drag. Because, you know, back in those days, I would paint. Was it L.A. or New York? Must have been L.A. It was L.A. Okay, because New York, I couldn't. Because you don't even like to travel. No, well, New York, I couldn't smoke. I was not in a good mood. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You, your old paint, as we all learned you, when I met you, when I learned you, it put, it made me, Kim Chi, the rest of us look like we were just little girls with no makeup on. Dogs. Yeah. You were painted. Rabbit dogs. Like, verbatim, out of your mind. Wow. I think that's what happened to you. And I was such a fan of y'all. Oh, gosh. All of your drag were, you know, Kim Chi, Trixie. Me. Bianca Del Rio. Like, the clowns. The goonery. The clowns. Yeah. Did you ever, have you ever had sex in that clown makeup? Just once. Okay. What was it, what was it giving? Miss Piggy. Well. From a one to a ten, did you enjoy it? I was just happy to meet my dad. Oh, okay. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I've never met my dad. Next question. But when I met you, it was this big, beautiful, elaborate, like, theatrical Chinese New Year Disney presents. It would take me like six hours to just do my makeup and then another hour to get dressed. And the makeup was so big. It's too much. Everything that was sharp was sharp. And everything that was blended was blended to death. Six. It would take me six hours. It was like an eight hour day just to get ready. And then I had to turn the camera on. Oh, my God. And when you showed up on my feed in your new look doing transvestigate, drag, transvestigate? Drag investigations. Questions? I added trans. I added transvestigation. Drag investigation. Basically the same thing, honey. Only your voice is how I even picked up. Is this her? You didn't even recognize me. No. Really? Because I met you out of drag. And I met you in drag. But I hadn't seen you in this kind of glamour puss version. Like I'm more of a woman. Yeah. More soft and feminine. Well, I'm going through a metamorphosis like Hilary Duff. Right. I'm like, I'm going to be a woman now. And I'm just going to do. This is the face that I got. I'm going to. This is very Hilary Duff. I'm just going to go. Right. This is Hilary Duff. Right. When she was out in Rome, living her life in the scooter with Paolo. And Paolo was pounding her down. I'm over here getting. I'm getting pounded by Paolo, bitch. I'm over here getting pounded by Paolo. And so now I'm just a soft woman with a little bit of makeup. And just being feminine. But also. Well, first of all, it still takes a lot of skill to put on this beat. We're making this sound like this is a who cares beat. The stones are so bewitching. Yeah. And it's not like. Girl, when I put on these fucking. These fucking stones. These like. These like. The plastic. Go to the obstetrician. Do you use like the cheap. Like Hobby Lobby. The crystals. The big. Girl, whatever's on the floor in the studio. Whatever you chicken find. She's not bothered. These are so. We've got like multi-tones. They're so bright. They're so. They're bewitching. Thank you. I look like I have like. Iridescent moles. Or like. Or like. This is gorgeous. Well, I'm from Texas. You know the Texas girls they put on. Where in Texas? Paint. I'm in the South. Rio Grande Valley. Brownsville, Texas. Oh, I've been to Brownsville. No, you have. You really? Yes, I fucking have. What's the gay club there? We have. Girl, they've all closed. We had like Studio 69. Valentino's. Oh, girl. I don't know. I did a show there once. Jinx did the same theater once. Oh. It was a bar. Okay. I did it there. And it was right up. At the time, that is as close as I was to Mexico. Yes. Because it really is. Is it San Antonio? It's five minutes. You could just cross over. Yeah, like a border. It's a trade down in Mexico. Is it near San Antonio? It's like four hours south of San Antonio. I'm all the way down. I thought San Antonio was like right next to Mexico. Brownsville is the city, when I tell people I've been there, Texas, people go, you have? They act like it's a remote thing unless you have a reason to go. Yeah. Do you like Dallas? I love Dallas. I love Houston. I love San Antonio, too, because San Antonio is just so Mexican. And it's so pretty. The Riverwalk. The Riverwalk is very pretty. San Antonio is pretty. Every fucking city in Texas that welcomes drag is so cunt. Girl. They just fucking, ugh. Well, they're nice to your face because they are bitter about it. That's okay. When I leave, they can be bitter. Yeah. The girls in Texas, they're very old school. You got to be wearing rhinestones and sequin and huge hair. And you got to be wearing clown white. You got to have a little black on the cheek. They don't play. Wow. So if you come in there, you're just wearing a little blush and a lash, they'll be nice to you. But as soon as you walk away, they're like, did you see that brick? She had no makeup on. She's from RuPaul's Drag Race. She got all that money. She got no mug on. That's what they would say. Protect the bricks. Yes. I mean, I do think in Texas, I always felt like because I wore a lot of makeup, it was like coming home because the other girls had, maybe not my level, but people wear a lot of makeup. They're the drag queens. With a huge pageant. I mean, it's a huge pageant hub too. No, but have you ever seen when they go do pageants and then they do interview during the day and they're still blasted? Oh, my God. They don't even look human. And I'm like, bitch. Yes. But now they're a daytime drag and they still got the black in the cheek. I live. I love when they have their out of drag interview looks and they got to draw on their men's brows for the first time. It's wild. They even do the beard too. Do Nike smashes. Because they haven't been men in decades. Yeah. And then now you got to be a man. So when you try to do it, it's like, baby, that looks like a strange human being. Yeah. I love that. It's Halloween. It's spirit Halloween. Yeah. One of our Boston drag queens used to do pageants in Texas. She was like famous for saying, you got to be a man, girl. Honey. And her eye-popping man look. Well, it's because at some point we got to be men. But it's very little. Little Richard is what it often gives. Yes, it is. It's very little Richard. It's Liberace, little Richard. Liberace, little Richard. It's CD. It's CD. It's a cross dresser who lives her life during the day. And you know the cross is there. As much as she tries to hide it, she's crisscrossing. Well, there's the CD. During the day, at night. You know what the giveaway is? The six inch acrylics and the braids down to the back. And you know she's got long hair. No, I do this. I have long hair. And when I'm like, okay, I'm going to go to the gay club. There's going to be men. They're all going to pay me. There's going to be dust. But I got to try to at least see if there's someone that's into me. So I put my hair in a little bun. And then I try to find a way to hide the bun. So that I don't look so femme. Because if I go to the gay club and they see me with long hair or a little bun. Automatically they're like, that's a woman. What about one of those little fezzes? Or like a Dixie cup. Yeah. Right. Something. Right. I got to hide it with a Dixie cup or something. Pilgrim hat? Or a snatched ponytail. Well, I guess that's worse. Maybe I need to just shave my head and start wearing wings. It's actually fierce. Wings? Like boy wigs. Male wigs. Oh. Men's wigs. Dude wigs. Dude wigs. Dude, where's my wig? Katya, you should come out with a line of wigs. Call them dude wigs. And then your clientele will be all the creatures around the world who struggle to present as male. I need to be a spokesperson for the creatures who struggle. Who's going to stick out for the creatures at home who can't present as men? You got to help them out. If you want to talk about creatures who can't present as men looking for their struggle leader, who better qualify? I was born in this struggle. It's her. It's always been her. You did makeup on We're Here. I did makeup on We're Here. It was so much fun. The entire time that I was there, I was a student. I was learning what to do, what not to do, how to challenge myself with makeup, and learn also, like, these girls are working. Let me tell you, when we were on We're Here, these women, they were putting them to work. I couldn't. I wouldn't last 10 minutes on this. They were outside for 12 hours in the sun. They were making them run around in these small conservative towns. Never. Never. It was a challenge. Let me tell you. And they were supposed to save the towns? They were going in there, and they were having to save the town through the art of cross dressing. I know. That's a. So, you know, the girls, it was a challenge for the dolls. I mean. That sounds like science fiction. I obviously have been a fan. I was a fan of your old style of drag. And then when I discovered your series, which felt like it came out of nowhere, and it came so strong and fast, my algorithm sucked it up. Like, anytime you post anything online, Instagram's like, we got you, boo. Here she is. Because I do watch and rewatch all your shit. And I share your shit so much. I also think Instagram. You're so supportive. That's so sweet. You just eat so fiercely. Well, it's because you're. It's weird. Thank you so much for that. But I also. I also. You know, you are a queen. You're in a position where you could pay dust to all these creatures out there. And she will sit there and she'll shout me out. She'll share my things. And that's like. It's performative. That's amazing that you do that. It's performative. No, for me to even stop and comment like LOL. Can you imagine? I never comment. But your shit, I always have to say like. Thank you for that. You just. So you're good with that. You're very good with that. When did you pivot to this like glamour puss version of your look? So I think with everything going on in the world, we're here. And I started to see that like the doors in Hollywood for, you know, drag queens were closing, especially drag queens who do makeup. And then so I went home and there was like a year where there was no work and I hit rock bottom and I got to the point where I was like, bitch, I ain't got no more money to even pay my bills anymore. Social media doesn't work. It's not working. I'm not. I'm not working as a makeup artist anymore. I had an Emmy. But, you know, that Emmy, if if you don't. If you. If you think the Emmy is going to make it for you, the Emmy, I when I got home, I was like, this Emmy doesn't mean anything. I got work to do, bitch. Ain't nobody going to come over here and give me a job, especially I was living in Brownsville, Texas. That's not going to happen. But you got a star on the Walk of Fame in Brownsville, Texas. In the key to the city. The key to the city. The key to the city. The key to the city, bitch. But I had I had to crash and burn and hit rock bottom. And. I was at a party one night and it hit me. I don't know if it was the psychedelic. I don't know if it was the trade trying to come for me. But there was a moment where I was like, what am I doing in this house with these absolute monsters? These people. But very, very valid. A lot of people ask that question in my house. But in my mind I was like, if I don't get my shit together, this is what I'm going to end up as. The crosshairs are in the corner waiting for the trade to come over here and talk to me. And I said, sweetie, this is not. This is not my path. I will not live a life that I don't deserve. Thank you, Pearl. Literally the next day I started Drag Investigations. I put my makeup on. I said, how can you do this with the skills that you got? But make it easy. You can do it by yourself because I run in there and I film myself. I edit myself. I do all. I'm a one woman pony show. Hell yeah. Who's filming when you're like in the parking lot talking? Do you have your phone set up somewhere? I set my phone up in my truck. I have a little clip. She's got a gimbal. She's got a backpack. It's all. It was it was it was that sense of like, I can't rely on anyone. I can't ask anyone for help. I got to be able to do this by my own because I got to be able to run this marathon. Yeah. I have to be able to do this every day if I have to by myself. Well, that's the drag. I mean, that's an old school drag thing. You're everything. I taught myself in my mind. I was like, bitch, no excuses. You don't have an editor. No excuse. You don't have an assistant. No excuse. You don't have support. You don't have anyone that believes in you. Bitch, you believe in you. And you're going to go out there. You're going to do this. And so I went out to Ulta and I started running around just shopping, which I did every day. That's what I was doing with my friends every day. But now I was just putting a wig on. And now I was going to the Didi's discounts. Love Ulta. To the Marshalls, to the Ross, where real people go to. I'm like the real people. Baby, the real people are going to the Home Depot, honey. Thank you. And they're getting Halloween. They're doing. That's where the majority of people, especially right now in America, it's like, bitch, can't nobody go to Dillard's. I'm going to go into Target. We're stealing. We're stealing. The majority of people. People can't go to Dillard's or Neiman Marcus or Sexton's Avenue. Baby, the girls are at Target. They're at Walmart and they're stealing everything. Goodwill. Honey. Goodwill can be really slight. That's where I get a lot of my Halloween decorations, Christmas decorations, because the price of holiday decor is so monstrous and crazy. Yeah. Get the used holiday decor. I went to an indoor swap meet the other day and I bought a foundation that was $2.99. And let me tell you something. It's more sickening than my Dior foundation. My Dior cost me $70. LA Colors, $3 foundation. It's sickening. Those designer foundations are bullshit. It smells like house paint, but it's sickening. The LA concealer. Yeah, that's good, too. It gives you cancer, but you're kind. I mean, we're all going to die of something, honey. Will you do my makeup one day? I would love to. Someone has to. I would love to, but just know that I'm going to give you the 5, 6, 7, 8. I'm going to put a timer, 45 minutes. The 5, 6, 7, 8. And you're ready. Well, you know what? I'm going through an era right now where I feel like less is more. Do it fast. Okay. Just make yourself comfortable. Make yourself look good. Put on a lash, and let's punch. Yeah, okay. For sure. Let's get out of the makeup chair, sweetie, and go out there and live our lives. Yeah, six hours is a little too intense for me. It's too much. Well, I will say there's a sweet spot where it's like, for me, longer than an hour and 15 minutes with the brush in the hand, it's a depreciating asset. I know what I can do in like an hour. Right. So the longer I sit there, it's like jerking off. It's like edging for what? And then you're all tired. At this point, you're wasting your time. But you got to go work after. Right. So you can't sit there for an hour. - Yeah, if I do that, what I'm dealing with, With his father time So the longer I take to put on my makeup The more my face reminds me that I'm an old Creepy skinned hag It starts to go in the wrinkles Into the craters How did you think of These little isms that you edit Like that type of shit How did you think of all those Because they hit They're so numerous It just happened by accident They're so numerous Do you edit this? You add all those yourself? I have a microphone Actually those audios I don't remember what I was doing Those audios are two years old It was a whole year Using yourself as a sample I must have been doing a YouTube video Like two years ago And I was recording like an intro or something And then I was like I just started going Now Don't do it little girl You look like a creature The D-O-double-L No you know what This woman she looks like a D-O-G And so I just There's a whole like Three minute audio That's two years old And so then one day As I was editing my videos for TikTok I was like I'm gonna put in these audios After every little cut that I do And it became a thing It's amazing Now that They're constantly like Luscious When are you getting like a button That has all your sounds They're unrelenting They're unrelenting DJs are hitting me up Can you send me the audios I'll pay you for the audios I'm like wait a minute bitch No you need Wait a minute You need to manufacture your own Luscious track Like a fashionista track Of you yelling I would be good on a bitch track You would be Like a fat We need to do a bitch track together With love We would go in Like a nice Sexy Hot Like runway track Of you being like Yelling Yes no maybe so Right Your version The sexy version of that Yes no and maybe so When the girls try to rip you off That's what they're gonna be saying But now it's getting to the point Where now they're like You know My dedications for my videos Are putting it to tracks So now these F.A.G.'s are at the club And they're like Honey have you ever been In the dark room honey Make some noise For the dark room girls Who are getting gutter punched In the dark And like they're using All my sounds On these like Tracks Drag tracks Yeah drag I love it But you know I was gonna say That's definitely not Eating your lunch It's not taking anything Away from you really Oh no I love it I love it If it brings That's what I'm here for I wanna bring joy to these kids You know They will literally In the DM's I've gotten videos Where like They're having sex With each other Like destroying each other And they're playing My video in the background And you just hear me In the back Girl I went to the Ulta today girl Let me tell you This concealer Was not giving Meanwhile the F.A.G. He's going in Boom boom boom Pounding This little bottom Can you imagine You're getting pounded You're hitting the poppers Girl your eyes Are in the back Of your head And you just hear me In the back Now Don't do it Let her go Don't do it That brings you joy It means That's just like You know Queerness But you know When I watch your videos I think I've seen All of them at least once You also appear To be enjoying yourself I have a question about There are times Where you clearly Grab some person Like there was one video Where you grabbed this lady And you and her Are sitting on a display Outdoor furniture Just having a chat Yes Like it was like Like a Gayle King And Katy Perry Sitting down For a post space Chat What do they think When they see you What do they think When they realize You're filming What do they think Well you know I do it on purpose I The whole point Of my show is I'm a drag queen I'm a cross dresser But I can exist In these places And I'm not here To harm anybody I'm just running around Shopping So I love Literally Sometimes I'll grab my friends And I'm like Let's go to the Ross And we're gonna go Find a seat And we're gonna just Turn on the camera And just kiki Like if we're at home Because the conversations We're having Sure they might be Gross and disgusting And stupid But girl We're not hurting anybody People get Queer people Deserve to be able To be visible And exist In any space Sure Some gay people Our conversations Can be a little risque We might be a little Piggy sometimes With the things That we talk about But that's how we Process our trauma Bitch I saw this video Of you talking I saw this video Of you talking about it You were talking about Like Kevin Hart You were talking about Like If you Like You were saying Like straight people Are mad at us For the way we talk rough But it's how we process Shit that you put on us Absolutely And that was so illuminating Honey listen They will sit there And they will criticize us Oh my god These queer people are pigs They're so promiscuous Look at the things They do with their booty hole Please Honey We do the things we do Because of the trauma That you've put us through Since we were children You've told us You don't love us You don't see us You don't want us to exist You want us to change Everything about us And you don't want us You reject us You put us through So much pain and trauma And now as adults This is how we process Our pain and trauma And guess what These motherfuckers Are doing behind the scenes Getting their assholes Blown out Blown out honey Blown out cow pussy You think these conservative Republicans They don't got wigs And panties And dildos In their closets Lindsey Graham Black hole Pounded Yeah Probably two arms Forced Abort All this furniture Let me tell you something I just had a vision Something tells me The housemaid comes up What's up It's on the glove It's on the Crisco Boom And Lindsey's just there Getting her life Getting a massage She can't sit on a bar stool Sweetie It just goes Baby well Honey at this point Can we Honey I was talking about this The other day What are we gonna do When we reach 70 years old Our booty holes Are gonna have no grip Listen Imagine the grip I have I can't even fit A medium sized Butt plug on my ass Anymore No just period She notoriously Has the tightest Tighter than a clamshell Stop it 43 years old I could've sworn You were like One of these extreme Anal play girls Well all my friends are Really Neither of us really No Really Like I'm a bottom But I'm like a Madame Alexander doll Wait what Like I'm Like I'm I'm very I'm very wholesome We're gonna be fully in love And then it's gonna be One pinky And I'm gonna be like Oh my god You know like I need a I need a little bit More of a secret garden Are you the clean girl Like you got like The sanitizer on the side You don't want the smells You don't want the scents You don't want the colors And the liquids and fluids No she's in the mud I'm not in the mud I just I didn't spend like The years It just never appealed to me But I support The ran through dolls Right I have your shirt This is the ran through dolls I bought three of your shirts And I accidentally Bought multiples Of the same ones I follow the accounts Of like I will say The gentlemen Who get like a A second hand wedding gown And walk around their kitchen Oh Gwen Gwen Megan Megan Megan Lauren with a Y Yeah I follow these girls And you would think The comments would be like Girl you need to brush your hair Or But the comments are like So beautiful So fierce Yeah The comments are very I love it Supportive I love it Because they got the selfie stick In the kitchen Well you know people will lie to you Especially on social media Well But they also I don't know These are like Straight men's Alt accounts That are dedicated To following cross dressers Where all they do Is comment on the girls And say you look amazing Oh my god Can we talk about this The cross dresser The panty sniffers And the DMs Oh yeah I be getting so many messages The other night I got a message It just said Can you help Can you help me please And I said And I said Oh my god Is this man okay What's wrong So then I text back Mind you Why would I even respond to this Love you You're tagging me For the community Do you need a supportive referral She has one follower Alanya Van Zant She's like I said honey Are you okay How can I help you He said Can you suck this dick I said well sweetie Are you close Where are you located But it's these panty sniffers They be hitting us up The famous queens On the Instagram Yeah but they hit you up They don't follow through though My They just weren't It's like the grinder trade That they What they really want Is they just want you To send the picture Send the video And they're They're giving you the fantasy That they're gonna come over But they're just at home They're jerking off To your picture They should all be sent to jail 25 years No parole But you know what it is too It might also be Your home girl Cause you know the girls too They all go on Grindr I don't care But no but let me tell you this There are girls Who they go on Grindr And they'll pretend To be trained So that they can get Like let me get her team And so they log into Their alt account No they don't 30 years no parole They do I had a friend Who would do that She would go on Grindr And she would be like Okay she's trying to get trade She's trying to get trade Let me go Let me get her pics Let me get her pics So I can get the tea Meanwhile they're just Playing games with you There ain't no trade baby The trade ain't coming Get a hobby What a weird thing to do Get a hobby Well you know the girls are not Some of the girls Are just not wowed Quilting People aren't happy Macrame Like people aren't happy Trauma They're not happy Pain When they see you out here The girls are in pain honey But when I see you out here Living I hate to say And they just want pleasure Living your life And the thing What I think is so compelling About your videos is The confidence The comfort To go into any space And truly The focus is not Isn't it outrageous That I'm in a Home Depot Right The focus is on like Aren't these other people Really fucking weird The situations around You're like the You're the straight man In these videos Like you're the normal mind In these videos And the world around you Is plucked and crazy Right So are you going on the Home Depot Buying hickory smoked Engineered hardwood or Well I went to Home Depot To look for trade Okay Cause you know at the Home Depot You can find a man You know about the one You know about the one in Hollywood Yeah They got the hottest man at the Home Depot, have you ever noticed? The second floor parking lot in the Hollywood one I haven't been That's the sniffies Ground zero You should just go to the second floor of the Home Depot Here and sit in your car and check out Well you know I used Now that I'm a public figure I can't do this anymore But I used to love I would have to like change my face again Wear a whole different wig Hopefully I end up looking I'll probably look like Daddy DeVito in drag Just do some Clark Kent glasses Rise, rise Turn the bob inside out But let me tell you this Turn the bob inside out And they'll live Let me tell you the trade does not care Mary They don't care Have you ever had trade I know you haven't but you got trade as a woman On Craigslist She's the original perpetrator She gives me Craigslist girl This is Craigslist girl It was her It was Craigslist And that's her list This is her fucking list My dreams were My whole self esteem My whole Everything was shattered Because I would do I'd put on my ad Go in the shower Paint fiercely Do the show or not do the show And I had Three in a night Three in a night You know what I've done that though I have prioritized trade over Going and doing a video or doing a show Things I need to do Wednesday night for $60 No thank you You're your own boss though But you know what happens It goes back to We're in pain And we just want pleasure Well But here's the thing though This was the gag The gag was that And we get it I thought I was cunt I thought I And I would put the effort in I look sexy Right And on I had an 11 a.m. appointment With this guy A paid gig Not 11 a.m. During the day Yes and I overslept The people have families 10.45 I woke up I was like oh my god I'm so sorry I'm gonna need a couple I need a couple hours I just woke up He's like just put a wig on Sweetie Can you believe Oh I believe it It's crazy It's happened I was devastated Mr. Burns Over here in the Dakota Devastated Okay but did you ever Like do your makeup You're getting You're putting on your lotions You put your wig on Your fishnets Your lingerie And you look in the mirror And you're like Bitch creature Never You always felt the fantasy Yeah cause I had no lights on You always believed the delusion No lights on Okay Very dim low light Okay Because if you turn the light on You know they'd run away No no no Listen to this So after After we fucked And about 10 minutes in All my makeup was on their ass Right So So like I looked like whodunit Right But we There was a couple of guys Who would chill afterwards Really like evolved guys And one man had the nerve To tell me If I saw you out during the day I would have no idea You weren't a woman You know that man probably Was a little blind A little blind But can I also say He suffered from something Glaucoma When I worked at the makeup counter People would come in And they would be with their boyfriend Or whatever And the boyfriend or husband Would say I don't like girls With a lot of makeup on And I remember this one time This woman said Well who do you think Has not much makeup on And the gentleman Her husband boyfriend Said Megan Fox And that was a moment Where I went Girl As stunning as she is Of course The woman's dipped She's in drag Dipped like an easter egg Yeah But straight men Have no idea She's wearing more makeup Than me right now Straight men don't know If you have lashes on They don't understand anything They don't know about foundation They don't know about tracks But they think Anything on the eye Is mascara You notice that they call Anything here is mascara Anything here is lipstick Or lip gloss They don't know They don't know about pencil No I'm on nothing Yeah Well straight men Are just stupid They're boring I was so surprised Because the bar Is totally in the basement For a lot of these guys They just need A vague shape Of a woman A silhouette And that's And that's enough For them to get pounded Put some earrings On a saguaro cactus Just turn around Put a wig on Put some fish And some panties on Or you throw a wig On a fire hydrant Bend over Line down the street To fuck that thing But you know What it makes me think of When I was grinding and stuff And you see that person On a grid Where you see The small crossy And you have to click Because you have to see it But then they see That you've looked At their profile So then they Message you And you go Oh no I was just looking at you But not in a sexy way I just had to see What was up And it often really Is like Drew Droege As Chloe Sevigny And you're like Well I have to remind myself That person probably Has no issue Because again The men don't care The men don't care That you put on Your cheekbone highlight They don't give a fuck They want the wig And the dick They just want a receptacle Where they can just Drop their low down On the way around Oh Most of the time They were dropping She was dropping She was dropping it down 90% of the guys That would respond to me Want to get It's my first time Hot dog down the hallway Girl Mary Let me tell you Waxed Douched I've never done this before I had a trade the other night First night he came over Treated me like a woman Made me feel like I had ovaries XX A vagina Everything Treated you like a woman A complete Yelled at you Yeah Completely Told you you had no rights Completely He was a misogynist Right He leaves Two three days later He's like I had so much fun Can I come over again But this time I want you To play with me And I said wait What do you mean sweetie Put you in What are you talking about Sweetheart Put him in No he said I have some toys See I said well okay let's You know I'm a sensible futuristic woman I understand the world Futuristic You're woke I understand I'm woke Right I understand the world I know that I understand That men like to play With their anal cavity too Right Did he bring out a fire hydrant He brought out this toy That was a replica of a horse Brownsville Mind you He was a pro I put it in I said wait a minute This is bigger than mine This is bigger than The toys I use honey I'm over here playing with Little toys The kiss of death The kiss of death is like We don't need Lou I'm over here playing With my little pony He was over here with What's the spirit Black stallion All the gargantuan Right Raging stallion studios He was over here He took it all to the tilt Didn't even complain No noise Nothing He turned around I said do you like it His eyes were in the back Of his head He said I love it I said these men Are not well They're in pain You know what These men are in pain too They're in trauma And they come to us So we can give them pleasure So they can feel good About themselves Can you imagine The pressure And the pain That society puts These men through It's true And the part of them That is perhaps Let's be generous Transamorous Or open to it That part of them Is so stockpiled With the shame Of every First of all They already like Hate women They hate gay people They hate themselves For secretly jerking off To any version Between the two Right So They are trying to push Through their own Layers Of armor Discomfort Whatever They're trying to push through But the whole time They're balancing out The extreme shame The extreme It's cause no one Gave them permission To just play With their ass Right If listen If we lived in a society Where when you're born They say listen You can play with your penis You can play with your vagina You can play with your booty hole too If all the men in America All of a sudden Just started playing With their booty hole I think that would We would reach world peace Well also I mean I was watching this Lecturer talk about I mean way back Like Sparta Ancient Greece There was no word For homosexuality All the soldiers Fucked each other Oh absolutely But there's no Identity Right They didn't even have the word There's no word And so there was no stigma And so there was no I feel like We don't need I feel like these sexual identities Are helpful In a repressed society Where we need to find each other But in a perfect world It's cause we're born And immediately We're put in prisons Yeah You can't do this If you're a man You can't do this If you're a woman You can't do this They put themselves In so many prisons And that's why they're so bitter But look Bitter These bitches are No they're down Honestly The truth is I think about this All the time Because I always get tagged On like Libs of TikTok Or all these places And it's always like Me and Jimmy Kimmel Reading the kids And like I know that's Inflammatory whatever Right But I'm always like What is the hang up Obviously you hate gay people Right And I guess like You could go religion Whatever But something about Cross dressing Is so Inflammatory What about Louis the fucking 14 Girl The queen Inflammatory It's all presentation It's all arbitrary too In this world In order To do what you gotta do You have to present A certain way We are just so free And we are not Imprisoned That we can present Ourselves any which way One day we can be a man One day we can be a woman We know how to use All the tools At our disposal To gain power And also We teach ourselves To become powerful Right Because if we were born And we followed Their rules And we stayed In their prisons We would have no power Yeah Right They wouldn't They wouldn't care about us They wouldn't respect us They wouldn't accept us They would pay us dust And they get bitter That we figure it out We set ourselves free And we come out here And we're like Bitch I'm gonna I'm gonna make some money I'm gonna buy that house I'm gonna buy that car I'm gonna make my dreams Come true And I'm gonna do it With a wig And some lashes Bitch And you're gonna be bitter About it And you're gonna have to Turn on the TV and see it And you're gonna have to And you're gonna have to Listen to me talk about how If you just started Playing with your booty hole Your problems Let me tell you To all the straight men In America They love our show If you just started Playing with your booty hole You would solve so much Of your trauma Your pain Yeah All that stress Release the pain Accept the pleasure Just find a cross dresser And have her put a dildo In your ass And you will live your life That is a That's a great Political platform Sweetie That's what they need to do Obama change You know what I mean Let me tell you something Donald Trump If he Melania If you just started To introduce ass playing Into Trump's life. What do you think? He might think, you You think he already does that? Oh, I'm sure he's had that nasty ass punched up. That nasty, flabby orange ass just wrecked. He's probably one of those. You remember back in the day they used to always say that gay people would put gerbils in their ass? Richard Gere. Donald Trump. He has that gerbil in there. He's the perpetrator. The gerbil is in there. And the more damaged you are, the animal gets bigger. It's the capybara. It's the small pig. Honey, what? At this point, honey, it's like a, what is it? The hyena at this point. Guinea pig. Honey. Something. Sweetie. But, like, I always think about literally these fucking idiots who get so hung up on drag. If they just opened a history book and went back three, four, five hundred years, the fucking king of France looks like you. Oh, honey. Do you know what I mean? It's like all this shit is arbitrary. Sweetie, not exactly. Because you know the mug was busted. Well, yeah. You know back in those days the makeup was not cute. And, sweetie, he had so many fistulas. Stop it. There was black ooze coming out the booty hole. From all the ass play. The court, the people in the court had to wear scented hands. Because they probably didn't even clean the toys. Oh, girl. It was probably wooden toys. They would just shove them in his ass. That's why he had all those, those boils and fistulas and things. How did you, how did you decide on the wig you wear in your videos? How did you decide on the little Dora Explorer wig? Because it is kind of a quick little. Jazz Masters calls it the Dora the Explorer. Yes, Dora the Explorer. Absolutely. I am Dora and I am exploring and drag investigating the world. Let me tell you. But it really came down to ease of use. To me, a bob can last forever. You can suck dick in a bob. I love the fucking bob. You can run around in a bob all day. You can hide your bag of Botox. As long as you got your little brush, you're good. You can wear jewelry. Because realistically, I'm out there in the real world. If I was wearing one of these wigs running around the Ross, people would be like, what is going on over there? The bob is also very low key. Like somebody could be a few aisles away and out of the corner of their eye, they see your hair right now out of the corner of their eye. They're like. And then it turns into like, what are they filming? Is this a filming people could see you and they realistically could be like, is that some lady? For the most part, I get completely ignored. No one cares. No one's bothered that I'm just running around in the aisles shopping around for things like no one cares. But which I'm glad, you know, I don't want to be out there like having people come up to me and being rude to me or trying to like, you know, I don't want to hear their bullshit. I don't want to hear their ignorance. Yeah, I'm going to read them down. Yeah. If they ever try it. But I'm glad it hasn't happened. And for the most part, they leave me alone. But the bob to me is just it's easy. I love that. We always I always travel with a backup bob. Yeah, it's always like it's easy breezy. Yeah, it always looks good. And it lasts for years. My backup bob is Bob the drag queen. And I don't feel like doing the show. I just grab her. Can I say to you, I also think in a lot of your videos, maybe you're playing with the audience. But a lot of times men are noticing you. Yeah, she can't go in these stores without being like, well, he just craned his neck. I have to look over here and look me up and down. The men are interested. It's because these men, they're first of all. Yeah. And they see me. I'm done up. I'm wearing cute hair. You know, like they they there's a lot of men that are just feminine, attractive. Right. I have a theory. I feel like human beings are not actually attracted to a penis or vagina. They're attracted to either femininity or masculinity. For sure. And so men, even if you don't have a vagina, but you're giving femininity, they're going to come over. They're going to try to get it. They're going to come over here, get this piece. Right. Because they're attracted to the femininity. There's been moments where I'm just male presenting. But, you know, I obviously look like a big old F.A.G. I got my brows done. I got my hair in a ponytail and they will hit on me. Right. Because they know. Well, you're also in your little like a Gaga just dance. Right. But they also know they're like, he's going to go down on me. Right. And I bet he has an amazing hairpiece at home. Right. That I would love to see. Right. They know we're going to give him a show, too. He wants to borrow some jewelry. These people are not stupid. They know the dolls, the girls, you know, the drag queens. We're going to give him a show. I love doing a little. In or out of stage. We're going to give them a show, honey. And they know. I do that showgirls thing in the pool. It's so, it's thrilling. And that's just you at home. Yeah. With nobody there. Yeah. The other thing is, I guess if you're filming with your phone, too, you can be so discreet. People walk by shopping. Don't even know that you're filming. Yeah. And I wear my little microphones. I put them in my bra and my titties. And so I'm walking around half the time. I'm reading them. Tooth, like, down. I love when you're at Ross. And they don't even know. You're like Ross and you're halfway across the store, but the microphone is so clean. So you just see her head bobbing, walking through an aisle, talking about clothes. And her voice is clear as day. It's so security footage. It is security footage. It's so under the radar. So these people also, the way your camera's set up, they must think you're just talking to yourself. Yeah. Yeah. They don't know what I'm doing. And half the time, these people, they don't care. Girl, they're over there. They're food stamps. They're trying to come for their food stamps. They're shopping. Honey, they're struggling to put food on the table. Their wife, honey, ain't giving them no cookie in a minute. So then they see me. I'm walking around with my little purse, my little bob, and I'm like, yes, honey, don't do it, little girl. In their mind, they're like, oh, she's going to let me have it. Let me go over there and talk to her. She's going to finger my booty. Bitch, you know I'm going to go in. Do you ever feel? Do you ever feel unsafe out there filming these? No. It's great. That's inspiring. I'm also very like. You got your gun. In my mind. I actually, I don't have any weapons. Maybe I should get one. But I'm just very like, bitch, you don't own the world. You don't own the world. You don't own the planet. Listen, you can be conservative. You can be crazy. Stay on your ranch. Don't come over here to my house and tell me I can't do the things that I need to do to live my life, bitch. And we're in a public place. Let me live my life. I'm not hurting anyone. I'm just running around the Ross. I'm looking for a size 11 shoe. Do you got it? Right. No, I got it. No, I will not take ten and a half. And it's wide. Do you have a wide, bitch? Because I'm a big bitch. I need a big shoe. Right. And if you don't got the shoe, honey, I don't even need to talk to you. Get out of my face, sweetie. I got to go. Let me go on over to the Marshalls. Let me go over to the Marshalls, sweetie. Damn. What stores can we look up to? I'm not bothered by these people. What stores are you going to next? Oh, my God. Well, there's. I feel like that would be right. Oh, I need to go to. Yes, they do. They got strange food. I'm with the strange smells. I want that would be a fun video. The Grove. It would be strange, too, because I'm not like one of these older men that has a weird obsession with dolls. I'm not that girl. Like I was just me neither. But you know what I mean? But it would be fun for me to walk in there and be like, girl, what's going on over here with these dolls? You know, I think in it, I don't know one adult man who collects. American girl, because they're not chic. They're not giving. Right. They're not. They're not cutting. They're not like Barbie. Yeah. Kindergarteners. Yeah. It's like a cholera ridden Emily with historical storylines. But you like like Barbie. You don't like Bratz. No, I don't. The Bratz. I don't. Yeah. I don't. Those are ran through. Bratz are for whores. Yeah. But it's like a whore that she doesn't really care. It's a cookie monster. Pajama girl. Right. No self-esteem. You know what it is for that girl? She wears those tarantula nails and the tarantula lashes. And they're like one going this way, one the other way. But in her mind, she's turning it. Yeah. She's turning it. I've been watching that show Iyanla Vanzant Fix My Life. Is that her name? Yeah. Iyanla Vanzant. Not on my watch. Iyanla Vanzant. And a lot of the people. She primarily aids women. Obviously, there's men there because men are often the problem with the women. She gives aids to women. No, she helps the women. Yeah, yeah. And some of the lashes being presented on that show are. Egregious. It's just like one this, one this. One this, one this. There's no symmetry. The blinking, it's just like almost bright white blue strip. Does she ever do Fix My Lash? At this point, they're doing the Trixie Mattel liner with a lash. I know. But also, this show was from like 2000, like 10 years ago now. So it wasn't, I mean, I think lash technology is better now. Was that, she was the one who was like, is that something you want? Well, let me tell you, you're never going to get it. You're never going to get it. Yeah, it's really fierce. The other day, she told all these women. She said, all these women were like, oh, my husband hit me. Oh, these women, the other day, 36. There were 14 women there, and they all had been pregnant by the same guy. Oh, Lord. And all together, he had 38 children. Who has the time? And she said to them, well, first of all, it's like pregnancy abuse. I'm like, this is crazy. Second of all, she said, all of you need a Bob. You know what a Bob is? And the girls were like, and she goes, battery operated boyfriend. Damn. Yeah, she said, y'all are too horny. Three of the women were pregnant at the same time with the guys. Oh, my God. And I was like, this man needs to be put in jail. I will say, though, low key, it makes me think. The nut is good. He must be God. He must be putting it down real good. What kind of magic dick does he have? I'm over here like, is he on Grindr? Can I find him on Grindr? That sperm count is through the roof. You're going to be the next pregnant woman. I want to be the next one. The pregnant woman. He might be able to get me pregnant. Finally, I've been trying for years. It never happens. It doesn't stick. When the drag is so good that you miss a period, honey. Honey. Sweetie. Well, then you start getting scared. You got to go to the gynecologist for your next video. I do. You know, I told my mom I went to the LGBT center, you know, to go get tested for all the things. And I'm explaining it to my mom. And I'm like, Mom, it's like me going to the gay gynecologist. Right. Because she doesn't understand. Like, in her world, she doesn't understand that, you know, we are gay men and we have different needs. And we need a special doctor that, you know, is going to take care of our body. It's like a gay gynecologist. He goes in there. You bend over. He goes in your ass and checks it. Scrapes the barcodes off. Scrapes everything off. -Yeah. -And my mother, she was like, was so lost and i was like the only way to explain it's the gay guy no yeah yeah honey what do they think of your wonderful success well luckily no one recognized me or they knew me but they're you know they're trying to be professional and they don't want to make it weird no i mean your mom and stuff oh my mom's trying to be talking about the doctor well they rolled out a red carpet for me at the la lgbt center um no i do think if you are a gay um even like celebrity right it's more it's more it's slightly embarrassing to go get tested because people do just like oh it's very embarrassing yeah yeah you get there and you're like bitch they know i'm the doll but then i'm like well fine if people go home and tell me that i'm if people go tell their friends they saw me investing in my sexual wellness tell everyone bitch i'm not ashamed at the same time you have no privacy yeah i will say though now they give you the little test tube and they're like go in the restroom to yourself but i do remember like maybe six seven years ago i would go to the doctor and my gay doctor would be like okay bend over pull your pants down bend over and he would swab me that was embarrassing mary i got i was a study member in the vaccine for hpv for men years and years and years ago and when i tell you the swabs that this motherfucker did it was like i killed his whole family he would jam it in and then like it was trauma like did it ever come out dirty um he broke it off in my ass okay well you know because the swab sometimes you stick it in and as clean as you think you are when you go in there you say for 10 seconds twirl it for 10 seconds sometimes you'll see a little a little speck of i could use the brown swab okay either it's probably dark red okay blue or something okay yeah girls out there you see but you know our swab comes out dirty too yeah i went to i once i had a little something something going on and i went to the the clinic and um the the nurse or the doctor was like oh yeah this is definitely that and we have some medical students here who would or studying that is it okay if they come in i said spread your ass no absolutely the fuck not thank you very much yeah and then the medical student oh my god kati i love you that's what i was afraid of they would have got you it would have happened my proctologist somebody in the office told me that they were a fan and they and they said it after they had already seen it everything and i actually was just like well now instead of me wondering if you know if i see like an earring i'm like what if they're gay i think it's unprofessional i kind of felt better i did feel better sure but i think it's unprofessional i was like oh good you know and to you so there is a line for you well i think it's like if i'm a big fan so that to me says that person's gonna go go home to their significant other be like oh i just uh scraped off some herpes i have a cachi's cunt today or whatever you know what i mean like like that's that's what i she had a yeah they got you well we're gonna can everybody if everybody wants to join on the joy train which is watching your content you really are the best you're the only person doing anything like what you do it's just amazing and you're by far the most beautiful guest everybody before you dogs brick brick just dogs everyone dogs and bris because you know the girls nowadays they're tired yeah they're lazy they have no inspiration anymore why do they drag no one looks i mean you said this earlier lazy no one looks different no one is it just no you know what it is they don't believe in themselves bitch if you believe in yourself and you accept yourself the way you are you don't make excuses you don't apologize and you just are you really you you radically accept yourself you're gonna be an original you're gonna be in a yeah that yeah what was that with that that whole cliche it's like be you that's the only person that nobody else can do it yeah yeah baby there's people out there they got they got those humps in their back goiters the girl yeah baby we need more bricks in the world we need humps and goiters it's been enough we got it skinny people we got it pretty people we got it we're done we're tired you're boring we need fucking scary creatures out here just being glamorous and giving us everything the humpback buck tooth and that's where i come in the girls with the dark in between the thighs with some skin tags bring it out little girl i want to see it that's what i live for those tags baby sweetie put a ribbon on it the the the palette the skin tag palette the collab yeah the collab let's do a collab skin tags and dark in between the thighs we can do different shades of brown we can do different shades of brown different shades of like red for you know when it's irritated we can do all that girl it would be a sensation right so neck braces cover up press the number one in the comments if you would live for the brick palette with the skin tags and the dark in between the thighs the dark in the neck honey the palette for the girls whose feet swell baby let me tell you the feet swell baby let me tell you the feet swell the girls the palace for the elephantitis girls make some noise for the elephantitis dolls diabetic sucks yes people can find save lives they save feet people can find you at luscious massacre everywhere right luscious massacre everywhere my show is called drag investigations it's on youtube and i'm running around just you know being a woman in the world minding my business while i'm you know being very shady i think you are like the best thing that's happened to dragon five years oh my god would you please i'm not i'm not serious would you please do my makeup i'll pay you i would love to we'd have so much fun it would be i'm telling you though i'm gonna put a timer it's gonna be 30 minutes and i'm just gonna turn you into a woman you said 45 before it'll be 30 minutes but that was 15 minutes ago but let me tell you this it will be one of those trade mocks you're gonna look so beautiful and so delicious you're gonna want to pull some trade and scott barnes did me i'm gonna go right to the doctor but let me tell you something you see you would have pulled trade in that mind of course you would have you would Till the Elmer's glue started like cracking up and turning into oatmeal. I looked like Ann Coulter on HGH, but I felt it. She FaceTimed me. I took about 75,000 screenshots. And all the pictures were me walking in different linens and going, but wait. But can you believe that is the same man who does J-Lo? Yeah. It just goes to show you it helps to look like J-Lo. It helps. It does. That's a really good helper. J-Lo does a lot of the work. Yeah. Yes. It really does. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you for having me. Thank you so much. This was so much fun. You're the best thing. Thank you. Okay. You are too, bitch. She's the best thing. The best thing. Bye. Pod's over. Canceled. Thank you.