"Lubed + Pinned" (w/ Jenna Lyons)

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It's Depop, and by life, I mean affordable fashion. Depop is where you can buy, sell, and discover desirable, inexpensive secondhand fast food. Sell the stuff you no longer wear, with no selling fees, by the way, and make some money. Then use that money to buy things you actually want to wear for way less. Discover new things, evolve your style, become mysteriously cooler without becoming mysteriously broke. Make money on Depop with no selling fees and find what you want for less. Hey everybody, it's me, Matt, and my tour is on sale now. This time, it's really Christmas. You can go to www.MattRogersOfficial.com. Podcasts are a visual medium. If you're not watching, I am holding in my hands my vinyl. It's called Have You Heard of Christmas? The answer to that question is coming. At this time, it's really Christmas. I'm playing all over the country, and in London, and in Canada. That makes it a world tour. Harry Styles, you're on burn notice. I'll see you soon. Okay, so we all just found out. Okay. I'm disappointed. What did you get? I'm a faithful. You are? Yes, I did not want to be. I actually would rather be. I'm a traitor. Traitor. No, actually, can I just say? Yeah, it's pretty good. I bought it. No, I told her she'd be good. I think that you would be good. Janna, you would be really good. You have to go on. You guys, let's do it. Let's do it. Okay. Hey, NBC. We're available. We're just going to have to stay in like a windowless motel by the airport for like three weeks. Wait, excuse me. Isn't it like in a big chateau? Girl, no. No. Look, Matt. Where? Oh, I see. Wow. Why? Bowen, look over there. Wow. Is that culture? Yes. Oh, my goodness. Wow. Las Culturistas. Ding dong. Las Culturistas calling. This is the first ever episode where we've had to lube up a guest. And I don't mean that in like the fun, social, lubricant way. Like, we've had to socially lube up all our guests. You know what I mean? That's right. Like, you got to kind of get them comfy. Comfy. Comfortable. Comfortable. I like comfy. No, no, no. Because you know how when you're little, you say, Comfortable. Yeah? Comfty. But wait, when you were little, you said comfortable? Yeah. That must be one of the Long Island. That's the right way to say it. Comfortable. I say comfortable. So then should it be comfy? Yeah, yeah. I'm saying I like comfy. I think you stumbled on a really nice new linguistic seasoning. It's something our guest can't possibly be. But I also think she's probably comfy in stuff like this all the time by virtue of being who she is. Well, we just. Our guest and I just had. We just had like a tete-a-tete about legs. We both have leg envy for the other person. And this is. We're just going to be volleying stuff back and forth with her. I can tell. She's coming in. She's going to really stimulate us. She looks stunning. Oh, my God. She looks like the picture of what a stimulant is. Like, if you made a stimulant a person, it is kind of what JFL, her middle name being fucking, is giving us. Absolutely. Yep. JFL, just for laughs. Just for laughs today. I mean, this actually came about quite organically. We've obviously loved her. We've loved her for as long as we've parasocially known her. Some of us were fans of Stylish with Jenna Lyons, okay? Some of us were streaming HBO Max's Stylish with Jenna Lyons, a reality competition kind of show, because she wasn't sure if she wanted an assistant, but that was the show. It was like a bunch of people came in. She wasn't sure if she needed anyone. But she was going to see. She's amazing. And that was what made it brilliant for me. We were at the Pride Night for the U.S. Open. Yes. And naturally, we are gay people who might enjoy tennis, I think. We were on a list that someone compiled of gay folks who might enjoy tennis. Who might enjoy tennis. That was what the list probably was. Gay folks who might enjoy tennis. And all of our three names were on it. And so there we were. And then we had a truly sublime conversation with her. And you're going to find out. You're going to find out. You're going to find out the content of that conversation. It is the most shocking admission you've heard in a long time. But I think the reason why it was so stimulating and why we're all very excited to have this conversation is because she, at the time, she seemed very open to discussing this podcast. I believe. Okay, yes. And she still is. She's going to discuss it. And she has more experience in this gay guy thing about culture than we are. Thank God. If you can believe it. Someone's in the field. Well, she. She's a fan. She's a fucking fashion icon. She's even more than that. I mean, she's a television icon. She had all the right enemies on Roni in my book. Absolutely true. And we got to get the. I wonder if there even is a take to get from her now. She doesn't have to give us one. But, you know, we love every facet of this gorgeous diamond, don't we? So please welcome into your ears Jenna Lyons. How are you doing over there in your lubed up latex? I'm actually sweaty. I don't know. I'm hot and bothered, but I'm here. Did you talcum powder? Did you baby powder? You have to do it all. But the problem is that like the nether regions, like you just there's things you can't. You can't get to the nethers. You just can't like really prepare them for what's about to happen. Sure. But I've had talcum powder on the nether regions is quite fabulous. I just. But then when there's a latex like truss happening in between, that's a totally different vibe. Yes. Yeah. No, it's a thing. Yeah. No. Oh, yeah. Your trust. Yeah. I'm yeah. No, it definitely like it likes to really make its way. Everywhere. Yeah. Can you describe where where is it sitting now? It's it's probably, you know, I guess I would say making its way up in the back section. It's going north in the back. In the back. It likes to creep. It's in it. The more I move, the worse it gets. We're not going to make you move. I'm going to just say. Just staying like this the whole time. I'm going to just stay like this. Good. The worst part is like getting it off and then taking it off because there's something that happens while I'm wearing it. Is it a smell? You don't breathe. Really? None of it breathes. And so, yes, then all these kinds of nice really like it's I'm making myself seem really hot. No, but I mean, there is something about there is there is the image and then there is the work behind the image, the the reality. That's what I think about every time I watch like a period piece and all I can think about is how bad their breath smells and how bad their pits smell and how bad their nether regions smell. Can you have you watched East of Eden? I have. We spoke about this on the pod. We spoke about this. It's kind of like one of the filthiest times you could ever be alive. Can you imagine? And like all of that, like. Yeah. Sucking and fucking. Well, that's the thing about they really did suck and fuck in the filth in in the annals of history. It did. They really did. Think about how bad sex always smelt forever. That's how that's all I can think of Dangerous Liaisons. Like I can't I remember watching the film and all I could think about was there was a lot of fucking and sucking and all I could think about was what the nether regions smelled like. Well, this stuff tails nicely into your obsession. Oh, yeah. Which is fucking and sucking. And kind of the filthiest places, places that are even filthier than East of Eden, then then then then Steinbeck land. Do you want to tell everyone what app you have downloaded on your phone and what is it? OK, so I somehow became upset. I heard about this thing called Sniffies, but I didn't know what it was and I so you endeavored to explore because I was told that there was that they were just like, oh, God. No, no, no, no, no, no. Sorry. Why? We want to interrupt. Go. We want to talk about it because I don't know if they want me to out them. But they were telling me about the fact that, like, you can just see, you know, where all the dicks are. And I'm clearly not looking for one, but I'm curious. You want to know. I want to know where they are. I don't need to have it because I like other things. Yes. But I want to know. And when you actually go onto the website, all of the dicks in your neighborhood pop up. But it's a picture. Yeah. Some of them are beautiful. Oh, absolutely. Some of them are bent. Some of them are turned. Some of them are straight. Some of them are hard. Some of them are soft. Some of them are. It's like a cornucopia. Yes. And they're all in my neighborhood. I mean, I live in Soho and it is like a cornucopia. Oh, well, that's. They're some of the craziest penises. It is a cornucopia. Oh, yeah. But then I heard. Then I heard that you can. So, like, I had to find out more. So, I'm sure you guys. Have you been on this? I've been. I browse. You can browse it anonymously. Yes. Same. I'm not. I'm. I'm definitely. No one knows that I'm browsing. Well, so they do have an. And we can advertise them here. They have a podcast that I'm sure they would now love to welcome you on. Wait. Have you been on it? No. Matt and I are not people to speak to anonymous, sort of, like, spur of the moment sexual encounters. Not anymore. There was a time. And also, I've said all of it on this podcast. It's our own content. Right. But the sexual deviancy I had from, like, 26 to 29 on the New York streets, like, I kind of, like. You put it to bed. It exists there. It's. Okay. Got it. to look at the dicks in my neighborhood. - Right, which is nice to know, right? nice to know and for people who might not be in the know sniffies is a website yeah okay um where you it is more of a gaydar than grinder is in the literal sense where you're looking at a plot of a map that has just literally images but the thing that's so crazy that i could not believe is you know there's a door so like there's a back door that says open it you know what this is yeah okay the icon is a door on this side is a door that's open but what i didn't know is it basically means you can just come yeah and you can literally come dump yeah so basically is this concept where you could just go over to someone's house if there's a back door it means you can come in you can sometimes they'll just be ass up waiting for you sometimes there is an actual sharpie on the bed yes and the idea is that you can you get a load counter yes who comes up with this i think some of the most brutal brilliant men in new york are also these gay men i think that's the thing about our big our great big beautiful community no i love it we are a creative fount well and also like no shame i mean it is like full on like this is this is what i want and someone's going to give it to me and you actually can go in and find exactly what you want yeah i think it's fascinating you know it is and also it's kind of interesting to where you find out it's really popping off because you're talking about soho and like how there's a lot going on there when we're talking about soho and like how there's a lot going on there when we're talking about we were in walt disney world our friend pulled out his sniffies and there were bukkakis everywhere and that's not surprising honestly i'm i went to a sex club with my old boyfriend years ago when i was 27 he was writing a story for the new yorker about sex clubs in new york and so he's like will you come with me to these sex clubs and i'm like have we met and so we went and most of the men in them were hasidic jews uh-huh and full regalia long pay us listen and i was it it it makes sense like a lot of times places where people are like feel like they have to be perfect or they're like it actually is the place where the playground becomes more interesting because it's like about repression and and freedom and there's something so fascinating about that but i thought that was so unusual i was i was so taken aback because i didn't really understand that world and right i got to know it is there something like conceptual about the fascination for you where it's like these are people who are waiting ass up unlocked door presenting themselves in this very specific way where you've kind of not to like tie it into your professional life or the way you see the world but it's like oh but you think a lot about how people present themselves out in the world in a public non-anonymous way and these are people anonymously being like i will i have an open door to this apartment unit i will be waiting for at least two hours easily ass up it's like i mean that's its own sort of meditative state to be like like i like are you coming at it from that angle i think what i find like really special and honestly quite beautiful but i know it sounds creepy and weird and to some people i think but i think i when i moved to new york my very first friend was a gay boy and like i realized how completely repressed like i think i've been taught that so many things that i thought about or that i was intrigued by were bad or something to shy away from or be quiet about and then i like i moved to new york and i met these gay boys and i was like oh the joy in like being devious the joy and being touched the joy and talking about stuff that seemed taboo the joy and like freedom like was so online and i'd never experienced that in my life and so i find this kind of place where people can be anything they want and there is no shame i find it really intriguing and fascinating because i think we spend so much time making people feel bad about all of their proclivities and i think like having interesting proclivities is more interesting yeah a hundred percent and i also feel like there's something about i remember when i first like because i was closeted there's closeted and then i feel like there's this misconception around when people come out like congratulations now you're yourself and it takes so much longer to get to know yourself after you've said the words out loud like how am who am i now and so it takes a few years for you to really even connect sex to that like i remember all through my first boyfriend we really didn't have sex and it wasn't until after him that i got on grinder where i felt like i could actually explore who i was in terms of sexual identity and you really surprised yourself why didn't you have sex with your first boyfriend i was okay just to be totally honest about it i was afraid of it yeah i sense i think that i you know had a afraid of i think i was afraid of pain i think i was afraid of the imperfection of being gay and i was afraid of like forming gay sex and maybe like having accidents happen this is before i think i really had a network of people where we were all really talking to each other about like hey nothing's the end of the world yeah exactly you know colon broom this is before those words were even invented together you love colon brew yeah i mean they will send you products no i was curious about like how do you make sure that you're like prepared oh yeah well and you don't know until you know right and at that time right i do feel like our generation of gay people are like is interesting because it's like we were still 12 and 13 when eminem was saying like the f slur on the radio and yet we're now adults and people are kind of like you're fine figure it out you have all the rights in the world you guys can talk about whatever you want and we're still dealing with the shame so our 20s were a little weird with that how old were you when you came out 19 19 okay so that's kind of late though honestly why do you think not really yeah for that yeah like for like millennials yeah that's around but what do you think what do you make of that well i'm just think about like i was in college in the 90s and so i remember all of my friends it was just starting to happen like people were starting to come out and i mean i can i feel like that was when you know that it was taboo at that point like people were just starting to come out but aids was also happening and so it was a very complicated time but you know i feel like now i mean i have a son i guess i guess i'm relating you to an earlier time but i think my son now like i remember asking him you know are you gay like would you would you want to date boys or girls and he looked at me and he goes mom like nobody asked like it doesn't matter like why are you asking me i don't know it doesn't matter anymore like you don't need to be one thing or the other like i'll fall in love with whoever i fall in love with and i was like the level of privilege that that feeling is you've no idea but also like how fucking incredible that like it's not even a question anymore it's just like whoever you meet is who the person you're going to fall in love with but i would have thought so that if you were you came out in 2008 2008 2009 it was just interesting because at that time too we really didn't have a lot of different words it was like you're gay yeah so then i we kind of entered the world as a gay guy and i guess what i was connecting the thought to is it almost feels like the fear was a part of it yeah like the elicitness of like i remember the things that made me horniest when i was like 26 27 like discovering grinder and going and hooking up with guys i didn't know was there was specifically a sign folded i'm wearing a jock strap come in i will suck your dick and then you will you will leave and i will never see you fucking love this this is i mean how hot is that so especially for someone whose whole thing has been and i think i speak for a lot of people right like you've experienced this like where it's kind of like you're like wow the fact that this is so crazy and i don't know what's gonna happen is the thing how did you get over the fear though of like the pain and all that in terms of like penetrative anal sex honestly that i i give it up to rupaul like he honestly said one time and this this helped me he said on tv he said if you want it it will not hurt and i gotta tell you jenna lions that is true if you want it it will not hurt and i have nerves in your sphincter will just loosen up honestly it's just like i had never thought of it like i had never thought of it like if i do my due diligence here meaning i get prepared and stuff like that like and now learning how to do shouldn't do all that was a whole other thing right but once you check your boxes and you actually come at it in a way where you really should be going into every every sexual experience like i want to do this i want to connect with this person exactly it's a great way to do it you're good and also i think a certain level of trust that someone's gonna like take the time with you and like totally and not like yeah were you scared when you first started of course of course and i was gonna ask if you because i my first illicit sexual experiences were very craigslist based yeah craigslist what were you craigslist m4m was the place to be if you wanted anonymous sex pre-grinder what did you type in he was very young there was remember when craigslist had a personal section yes of course that's where we would all go you would either find a sublet or an old couch or some fucking and i love this but what did you what did you search like how did you how did you find what you wanted you would just well sometimes you would go like i mean and this speaks to like a whole different thing for me which was like the racial aspect of it where i was like okay being fetishized and i was like i would type in asian okay and either it was like m4m like seeking you know sub asian for this thing and i'd be like me me me me me you know like it was in it like and i'm and i'm you were looking for a sub or you were the sub i like i was volunteering to be the sub yeah because that was a thing in the culture right it was like he probably knew you probably knew as someone who was engaging in this idea of you as a sexual being it's like you like this is how i fit into this yes exactly and this and there was a are you familiar with the saying i'm sure like just having gay male friends no fats no femmes no asians being this thing it's like that was a very not all not all that long ago was that like kind of like thrown around and it was on everyone's profile did you think that you were a sub because that's what you culturally you thought you should be yes and and did you end up being and i kind of did yeah now i'm like and now i've actually been very it's actually been kind of nice and i'm i turn myself on if i go if someone like calls me like a little bitch or something and i'm like i don't like that in a way i'm like i'm like or i'm and i don't even have to be like that like direct about i can just be like oh i'm not i just i can just be polite and be like oh i'm not into that like i don't i don't like being called names what are you i mean what kind of men are you attracted to matt and i have this thing where i think we both like affection or like like explain it's like an affection kink it's like what do you mean we like being the we we we get turned on by the idea that like we are having this like incredibly deeply meaningful encounter with i think i've i've that's different than affection though to me we we've just described it as and people had problems with this and rightfully so i'm curious what you think but i described it as an intimacy intimacy okay that's a little different yes i'm sorry yes so like so like affection should be there but i think that i get what you're saying because it's like it's it unlocks something if i feel like someone is my boyfriend or my like husband for a night oh just for the night so okay i was gonna say because it's a longer interaction right right for life even right okay okay well but that can sometimes happen have a reverse effect with somebody that you like when there's there when there is this moment that you think as you said earlier that like things are going to be gone like this person's not going to be around there is a freedom in that and like like a complete like and that level of anonymity and ability to kind of let it go i miss it i miss it because that i i had to i kind of and i'm not even like famous like you guys but the thing is like the last two times i had like i'll just say like anonymous sex it was i found out after that they knew who i was and that kind of like ruins kills it it kills it because what i loved about it was that you could go in and be someone else yes like i liked like for example for me i didn't realize i was like a top until i got on grinder because suddenly i was going into rooms and i was like way more dominant and i was like who is this person and i was like you didn't know you didn't know you didn't know i want to what is that that's amazing that it took grinder to realize well because it was like and and it's like i wasn't doing anything but being in the situation and what i wanted to say was go over there do this thing you know but like that's who i essentially was when i allowed myself sexual freedom and space which i had never had because you as a queer person as a gay person feel like you're always being watched and then that becomes something else when you become a public figure 100 percent do you are you like do you feel like you're dominating in other parts of your life or are you more submissive always really always i mean he can't turn it off oh okay it follows him to the back how do you what about in your relationship are you dominant i think he's more dominant than i am now are you serious yes i do in what way that's interesting i think we're both little i think we're both i'm not as alpha as you i think you like to alpha i think i alpha as play okay so alpha isn't play you're saying it as an act as a like a position an act or as like i don't think i actually make our decisions i like deferring that takes a lot of trust but that trust probably comes from time and like repeated experiences of trusting him yes trust and also getting over yourself and letting go because i have an anxiety i bet you don't get i bet you don't get over yourself and let go with other people who you don't trust no i i let things bother me a lot yeah but i bet i would imagine like if you were with someone who didn't know who you didn't trust like you just bow and that you would not like lay down no yeah i mean that i mean cut to me and the cut to me on grinder yeah cut to you on grinder but then imagine and then how does this break down for you identity wise um i mean sexually switch i'm a switch hitter like which is thank god because my partner and i are like and some there's always like a i don't like really in charge and then it can it can switch if it's injured it doesn't ever switch for you in relationships um no in relationships well i haven't really figured out the kind of person i need to be with yet so i think it's been very erratic but what do you like same yeah do you switch ever no no oh sexually you mean yeah yes i do well i think they're kind of both i yeah to me i don't know how to separate them because i think they go hand in hand like there are moments where like i'm feeling good about myself or feeling like in control and things are going well and like i can the dominance in me can be present but it's not i can't fake it in the bedroom so if it's not happening outside in the rest of my life it doesn't happen in the bedroom yeah and vice versa if i'm feeling kind of a little bit like not everything is moving and i'm or maybe something bad happened i find i switch and then all in life and just in life in life and then it will happen in the bedroom too like they're very connected that's why i was wondering if you're able to switch on the outside well i'm very sensitive to dynamics and so i think that i let the dynamics kind of dictate what i do i i think i'm pretty malleable in terms of like romantic and social dynamics and then sexually it kind of follows what's happening yeah okay you know what i mean i'm not that kind of person who's like i run shit all day and so when i get home fuck me to smithereens i want to lay here like that's not really it you know what i mean yeah although okay what do we i need some insight into this okay sometimes i do like being a little pillow princessy who doesn't i'm just i am just like let me starfish what's so wrong with that nothing's wrong with that it's essentially really hot and sometimes guys want that nothing wrong people want that some people some people can't handle it what do you mean like they're like you got to move around yeah some people don't know what to do yes some people don't know what to do with it i mean i think i'm not i'm not i cannot handle people starfishing sometimes like i why why why why why well because it puts a ton of pressure on you on me and also i think i don't know i think i also that means i have to be over the top of someone most often and then my face falls down and i don't like that yeah yes it is just a lot of energy to do to exert also it's like wrinkles what wrinkles it is it is there is the thing of like when you are on your back like that does suck i look better when i'm on my back oh yeah okay wait why did you bite your finger earlier when you you responded very viscerally to matt doing something because like there's so then you know what it is yeah go ahead you didn't well i was gonna ask like how are you how how are you like uh arranging that in your own sex life like how are you how are you doing something like that you're not supposed to do with and like with with your sexual experiences but but go but go no wait i'm not sure i understand your question what makes you bite your finger now oh like well i think what i was responding to is like you being like telling telling me what to do or i know you weren't telling me but there is that i think there is that crossover moment where like no someone doesn't care about what you think and they just tell you what to do and like that is like i haven't had that in a long time i do really like it when someone just tells me what to do because i think i ended up i think especially because as my life got bigger and my job got bigger people stopped telling me what to do yeah and i love to be told yeah and also it's kind of interesting because you i feel like in getting to know your personality more over the past like several years now that you've allowed yourself in your you've allowed the audiences in to sort of get to know your sense of humor what your life is like it contrasts with an image that you built which is very intimidating and very strong it's so weird because i didn't build that image i think it was just like the pulled back hair and the glasses honestly i think presented something that wasn't like i think that it was the title the and and the look it wasn't anything about well and how good you are at what you do and so there's there's all these things together that i then think places an idea in people's mind which also allows them to not be totally sexually free with you which is this is someone i have to like do be my best around and that is hard for people sexually oh yeah you know me well and then they think that you want to be domineering in all parts of life and i'm like no no i'm done i've dominated i've dominated all day long can you just like yeah i must be the pillow princess like i just need somebody to just like tell me what to do i don't want to have to make a decision and like and that i think was hard like i mean i have luckily dated not i mean women who are good in that department yeah thank god i must say that i relate to this thing very much where it's like the title and the glasses and maybe the asian-ness for me is something that communicates like and or like like yeah that you're not a severity that i don't have - Right, like that you're not messy or playful, that you're like buttoned up in some way. And it's like, I'm deeply not buttoned up. Like that's just not my personality. - But you guys can both understand why people might see images of you and feel a certain way. - Of course. - You can both acknowledge that. - 100%, no, 100%, I'm not in any way at all. Like I get it, and it's just amazing to me. And I don't think I realized it until, I mean I started to realize it when people would come into my office for an interview, and they were like so nervous. Shaking their, one woman, I had to leave her in my office for like five minutes 'cause she could not catch her breath. She was so nervous, and I was like, listen, I'm gonna go and take care of a few things. I'll be back, I'll let you, you take a breath. And I came back and I was like, are you okay? 'Cause I thought she was like having anxiety attack or something. She's like, I'm just so nervous. And I said, I'm sorry, like, why are you so, she's like, well, you're the president of, you know, it was like these things that she had put in her, and I'm like, babe, like, let's talk about something else for a minute, like we don't have to talk about work. Let's just talk about like, tell me about your family, tell me about your kids, like, try to smooth this out here so you can feel a little bit more comfortable. And it had nothing to do with, I mean, nothing to do with me, like, I'm so not, but it is amazing to me. Although at the same time, like, I like to use that, which, yeah, of course. - Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't you? - Like, please. - But it's just, and it's constantly something that you have to work against. I don't know if I love that word usage for myself, but I was like, but like, I feel that way that like, yes, I understand why that concept comes about, but I'm also like, but why do I have to like, actively fight against that for another person to perceive me in a slightly different way? - I mean, I don't give a shit. - Oh, really? - That's probably the key. - No, I mean, I'm like, I don't, I'm like, I use that to my advantage. And like, honestly, if I can be surprising, and I just don't, listen, I think it'd be harder if it was the other way around. If people thought that I was like, just a joke and a mess, or like, you know, so easygoing, and yet I really wanted to present myself as professional and buttoned up, that would be hard. - Sure. - I think it's a lot easier to surprise people the other way around. - Totally. - Agreed. - This ad is sponsored by Veve Healthcare. - Time for some prep wisdom. - First, some common sense, people. Everyone's different, everyone. 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Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, say yes. It was Las Cotiristas. It's the best way to support our show. - Okay readers, we gotta discuss a vacation that's not just a vacation. It's a statement. - Virgin voyages. Adults only. Yes, a child-free sanctuary at sea. It's giving serenity. It's giving sexy European summer. It's giving, I deserve this. - They're sailing the Caribbean and the Mediterranean obviously, but now they've added the West Coast and Alaska. So whether you want golden hour off California or full cinematic glacier core main character energy, they said range. - And the awards. At this point, it's less award-winning cruise line and more, do we just engrave their name on the trophy? They've won so many travel awards, the ships might sweep our culture awards. 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She's like a way of finding, like, and disarmingly funny. - Yeah. - Have you ever spent any time with her? - I met her in passing at the Victoria's Secret show where we sat next to you, which was so fun. Like, to be next to you during that was so cool. - That was the best. I was so happy that you guys were, that was genuinely-- - That was amazing. And so, in passing. - In passing, yes. Okay, so we'll fix that. - Yeah. - But yeah, there's something about the way that she is able to even see some of the darkest moments and turn them into something funny. It's definitely, there's an art to that. It's something I don't really have. - Yeah. - And I think that what's so attractive about your partner's sense of humor is that you kind of, it was a new sense of humor for you or a different take on things, or that you felt like that is honing in on something that I have always loved, but not been able to express really that humor. - I think every single person I've ever been with, my ex-husband and my partner before, everyone has been funny. I don't, my least favorite trait, least favorite trait in a person, is being earnest. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Do you think it can-- - I can't stand it. - Oh, okay, so then your ideal version of funny is something that is stripped of earnestness. Or not stripped of it, but-- - Well, just like people who can't, like who don't have any sense of humor or can't take a joke or find everything is so important. I'm like, I cannot. - Oh, of course. - It just drives me crazy. - Absolutely. - It ties to something I hate too, which is superiority. Like oftentimes when someone has no sense of humor, think of every single way they can talk about how something is like not good enough. Or actually not what you think it is. Or like how it's actually not smart for you to think about it this way. That to me is like-- - Totally. When did you know you were funny? - I have an answer that's like so annoying, but-- - When? - Tell me. - There's a girl named Victoria Rosales in the fourth grade. I had just moved to Colorado from Canada. And I was really desperate to make friends, and then this girl was crying at recess. Victoria was crying at recess. And then I took it upon myself to rush over to her and like just like-- - How old were you at the time? - I was, this is fourth grade, so I was like-- - Of 10? - Eight or nine. - 10? - Nine or 10, yeah, yeah. - Great. - And I just was just hamming it up around her. - Yeah. - And then like she stopped crying and she started to laugh. - You had a function. - I had a function. And so yeah, and so this ties it together with like, you know, what humor can do and how it can make people feel. But she was like, "Oh my God, Bowen, you're so funny. "And thank you, you made me feel better." - Yeah. - And that like changed my life. - But then why did you wanna be a doctor? - Huh? - Why'd you wanna be a doctor? - 'Cause it was like the risk averse thing that like was on the rails and guaranteed some kind of, if I was, there was a developmental path to like success. And, you know, you were just being vetted at every single level to move on to the next stage. How did your parents feel about you being a comedian? They, you know what, to their credit, it was not like the classic Asian immigrant thing of like, no, how dare you? But it was just me taking my MCAT for the second time at One Pen Plaza, getting to the written portion, flashing to a Steve Carell interview where he said that he had applied to law school when things weren't working out for him in Chicago after he took Second City classes and did Second City stage stuff. And in the middle of his personal statement for his law school applications, he was like, I can't do this. I'm going to give this showbiz thing a shot. And then I had that same exact thought in that moment. And then I went over to the proctor, avoided my score, took the elevator down, called my parents. I was like, I'm not going to go to med school. I'm going to find some temp jobs. I'm going to pay my own rent as much as I can. And they did help me a little bit because I would struggle certain months. Just to be totally transparent, but I was like, I'm going to just. Take classes at UCB and just like make it work. It's amazing when you started talking about that, your voice changed and your demeanor changed. Well, because my voice is fried from eight shows a week. He does that. See what he just did? He does it all the time. What? It always, always, always goes to like, oh, well, no, it's this thing you noticed about me is actually not. Isn't that earnestness, though? Isn't that what we're allergic to? No, I'm not allergic. No, your voice got lower and you got serious. It wasn't earnest. It was serious. Okay. It was like a different person took over. It was like interesting. I was, you know, I was your body language completely changed. Wow. Jenna Lyons. Nothing gets past you. Can I tell you? It's funny because sometimes he sees the special things about him so much, so far after everyone else. And like that, like whatever you make your fucking face if you want. But I remember like after he did all this shit, I remember he came and met up with me at lunch at Vapiano. On University and 12th, and I was like, and I was like, do you want to be in our sketch comedy group? And he was like, really? And I was like, yeah. And then we put him in our sketch comedy group because all my friends adored him and wanted to get to know him. And we had been friends at school. I was like, I think bone would join if we asked. And then he, you know, and then he did. Yeah. What is what happens in a sketch comedy group? My God, I love this, that we get to explain sketch comedy to Jenna Lyons. Okay, yeah. What happens? Well, what happens is you meet up. You meet up. You meet up in a group and everyone's written a sketch and it basically it's like, you know, that's like a, you know, a slice of life scene of an idea that people come in. Hopefully it's funny. It's three pages long and you read it and you read it and you cast it and you punch it up and you figure out how to make it like the sharpest version of what it is. And we would rehearse it and stage it. We would have two meetings a week and then we would have one show a month at the People's Improv Theater on 28th and Lex or whatever bar base 24th and Lex. Isn't that what you did at SNL? I watched the documentary about SNL and how the like I mean, it seemed absolutely terrifying and honestly like one of the most emotionally painful things anyone could ever do. But that sounds really fun. I mean, it was fun back in the day, like when we were I think we were all doing our survival jobs and then we took it really seriously. We meet up twice a week and like for three hours at a time and we would all just like pass our ideas back together. We knew a bunch of talented people from school and we tried to, you know, just in like an independent way. Was there anyone else in your group who like? Got famous. Let's see, there was Sudie Green, who is now who big writer, big writer. She was, you know, she was the reason I like survived and thrived at SNL in the beginning. I went to school. I was in the same group as Stephanie Shue, who was an Oscar nominee for Everything Ever All At Once was just in Rocky Hard. Jack Quaid was in my sketch group. Yeah. The people who founded our groups, his sketch group and my improv group were they were called Derek Comedy. It was D.C. Pearson, Dominic Dickerson, Donald Glover. And so it was like it was Rachel Bloom was in the group, you know, it was and then and then even after that, like there were more people that came through. But it was that's that's how sketch comedy happened for us. Cool. But you asked an interesting question, which was like, when did you know you were funny? For me, it wasn't ever that it was that I could hold people's attention. I noticed when I was young and I feel like you didn't equate that to being funny. No, I think I think I knew how to tell a story and that people watch like I remember one time, like I was obsessed with when I was a kid and then. And then right after this, we'll ask you, it'll dovetail into the culture question. But I was obsessed with reading biographies of people like I'd read a biography of Florence Nightingale and then I would go home and I would tell my parents everything that happened in Florence Nightingale's life. But from my like six year old perspective and they would laugh and they'd be like, what the fuck? And I was just like, oh, this is fun, like telling stories about other people, but it's not so serious and I'm not getting it all right. But it's fun and it's like a thing. And so I would go and I would read all about people and my parents would have their friends over and I'd be like, you guys have to hear about the Wright brothers. And I was like, this is what happened. And I just would like go and my parents would eventually be like, you got to get out of here. Like, but I was addicted to the feeling I got of regaling. I love that you need to do junk history. I know they need to bring that show back. You guys could bring it. I loved it. We would be great Wright brothers. We would be fucking brilliant. We would die, but no, similar to that, but also different. We ask the question on this podcast every single time and this is going to be no different. Jenna Lyons, what was the culture that made you say culture was for you? Formative culture in your life that made you JFL. I would say I moved to New York in like I was in nineteen eighty seven and I came from a small town in California called Palos Verdes and lived in a small town in California called Palos Verdes and lived in a small town called Palos Verdes and lived in a small town called Palos Verdes and lived in a small town called Palos Verdes. And my mom's a piano teacher, and she was autistic. And so like, I had like a kind of quiet, very isolated life. And I moved to New York and the first person I met with this guy named John Dunn, who was gay. And he took me to see Paris is Burning. He took me to drag shows. He took me to the pier to watch Boys Fuck on the Pier. He took me to like, he told me who Anna Wintour was. I was in fashion school. I didn't know who Anna Wintour was. Like, we would read WWD together. Like, I learned about, like, I learned about having a point of view. I learned about, like, actually, I was quiet. I never, I never said what my opinion was. But I, it totally changed. Like, I was scared of sex. I was scared. I was scared of everything. I didn't think I didn't know who I was. And he just, like that whole world and the culture of like, gay culture, like, just changed everything for me. I found I fell in love with like, flamboyance and, and, and like a spirit of like, being unapologetic. I'd never really experienced that. And I found in like, I just, I loved it. So that really changed everything for me. This is the first time we've had the answer be a friend. Well, this person was a gateway to me. You know, he was the unlock to a world that I didn't feel I was welcome. Not, not that anyone had made me not feel welcome. But I just didn't know I was welcome. He made me feel beautiful. No man had ever made me feel beautiful. And he like told me I had great tits. And I was like, what? No guy had ever told me. You have no idea. They're really good. You guys all show them. I felt your nipples when I was living you up earlier. But like, I never been, you know, he, I never felt beautiful from men. Like I grew up in California, and everyone was blonde hair, blue eyes, Baywatch, you know, Pamela Anderson, and I was not that. And it was the first time like, there was just like a certain amount of like, playfulness and joy and irreverence and not giving a fuck. And just like, I, I loved it. And it was, yeah, it was a huge unlock for me. It was a real perspective and seeing something as incredibly striking and beautiful in a different way. Yes. I mean, I remember like, I had, there's this book called Antonio's Girls, which is about this by this illustrator, Antonio Lopez, who had a pretty profound effect on my like, desire to be in fashion. And, you know, Antonio Lopez's girls were Jerry Hall and Tina Chow, and Marissa Berenson and Grace Jones, who I found completely, you know, beautiful, and I was enamored by them, but they could not have been more different. And they certainly did not fit into the mold of what I had seen on TV as beautiful. You know, like the only girls that were beautiful were like, the Julia Roberts and the Pamela Anderson, like traditional pretty girls. And here you have Grace Jones and Tina Chow and Marissa Berenson and, you know, Jerry Hall, and they were all so different. And that was exciting. I was like, oh, there's so much more to life than this kind of prefab look of California and beach culture and blonde hair, blue eyes, big boobs. And I was so excited about that. - You can trace all of these things about queer life that like endures, like, we're still having anonymous sex, like, so just because I think because of course, like you going to the pier is which is like the sort of origin point of like this. - Open door. - Open door. - Yeah. - It is the beginning. I mean, I remember the very first time we took boxed wine, and we went and we sat on the pier at 14th Street, which is obviously a totally different name. now and we literally watched boys just hook up and I mean I was I couldn't believe this was happening yeah I couldn't believe we could just sit there and watch I couldn't believe no one was breaking it up I couldn't believe like they were just fucking and then someone would walk over and they would shake hands and then all three of them were fucking at the same time and I was like this is in 1987 yeah 1987 just to speak on that I noticed you used the past tense when speaking up of him is he still with us he said yeah we just he's he's he's around I mean I haven't seen him he moved to Puerto Rico he like oh great a whole new life and like you know there was a second there we were like and I'm sorry no no we haven't seen each other in a very long time but yeah he definitely changed my life like totally and in a very positive way and also like in a way that it was scary too yeah but it's like it's what we were talking about earlier the fear is what's truly allowing you to meet yourself yeah because then you not only are you like you're now living in a world where you know what these things are you've seen these things you have terminology for these things and in that you meet yourself but then comes the task of creating who you are well I mean the fact that you said that you didn't have sex with your boyfriend for three years you said well we we had sex a couple times in a two and a half year relationship okay but so think to think about that like and then you started to figure out who you were after that like I I could say the same like I moved from California had no idea who I was I didn't know what I thought I didn't know what my perspective was I didn't so it took me you know first then I had to sort of figure out life through his eyes and what this world of culture that I was so fascinated by but then I had to put together like well where's me and all of this and right it takes such a long time and I think you know I'm glad I experienced it but I couldn't believe you know I look at my son now and he's so himself like his our kids we have you know between Cass and I we have three she has I have two stepchildren and like they are so clear about what is important to them and who they are and they're so far ahead of the game in that way I I didn't know who I wanted to be or who I was really gonna be until I was like 27 and even that I still had stuff to I mean I come out until I was 43 so there's that right right so clearly I'd missed a few things but not really though yeah I mean like how do you feel about like the latency between like figuring yourself out because I mean some would even say that like the kids are all gonna like very malleably have different identities like 10 15 years from now too you know what I mean like they'll they'll look back on that and I'm like they'll look back on this time in their lives and be like I had no idea who I was in high school right there is that I think the difference is they're more confident in saying that and being open to it and discerning that like like the way that you know I there when we have conversations with them about like they don't feel the need to put a stake in the ground they know they're parts of them that are unformed and they know the parts of them that they feel clear about and they're I mean I've never seen anything like it it's the weirdest thing to talk to a kid who's like 16 years old and is so clear about you know what what they think is real and what they don't and you're I mean I said I had no idea I mean I was literally an actual idiot when I was 16 no no no but like I mean when John is like showing you all these is opening all of these doors for you or just culturally like especially as it relates to queerness or being gay like how much are you thinking about like could this be me like does this apply to me as a woman I don't know I don't I think so the difference is and I it's hard to explain this to people who didn't live through that time because it feels but back then there were no gay women right there were a few but it was like they were what's classified as like a bull dyke like just really and I didn't look at that and be like oh I my community right I didn't I didn't I wasn't necessarily attracted to it I wasn't um I didn't look it didn't look like anything that I I mean I still like love wearing it I didn't I didn't look like anything that I I mean I still like love wearing it I mean I still like heels and lipstick and all those things and I didn't so I didn't find that as my space but what I did find was this culture of gay men who made me feel loved and appreciated and sometimes hated but that was okay because it was honest and it was copy that that's really interesting it was like there was no bullshit it was like you know if I was wearing ugly shoes they would tell me if they loved my look they would tell me if they hated my hair they would tell me if they thought my boobs they were it was like every and so I got all this feedback information that was totally honest and I had never had that before and I was like this is the best do you think that they were and from your perspective were they treating each other like that and so the fact that they treated you like that made it feel inclusive or were did you feel that as a woman you were being treated differently but you didn't really know how to like articulate the ways in which it still felt like a little bit of like a sexist thing well from the gay men I don't know if I even I don't I being I experienced straight men being so awful yeah that they having a gay man pay attention to you is like I mean it was such a different thing I mean granted like I'm I know all the terminology about the girls that are hanging around like I know all about that and I didn't care yeah and I like you know they were you can say it if you want no it's it's not I mean I can't remember what's the fag hag fag hag thank you yeah yes yeah it's been a while I couldn't remember that no one's called me a fag hag in a very long time you're welcome when you said the terminology of the girls that hang on the terminology of the girls that hang on that's actually a really good description that's what rule of culture is that's rule of culture number 55 fag hag the terminology of the girls that hang on which we don't feel that way by the way no fags are an incredible and we'd be dead without the fag hag well and I and I granted like I know and we know yes but also like there was a there were some that would never go out and then like actually separate from the men and have a boyfriend that's right or so like that so I wasn't I didn't actually fit into that category but there were some that I knew that did like they would only hang out with the gay boys and they never ventured out to find anyone for themselves and I think that was where the terminology got a little bit sticky but but anyway I mean I listen I I cannot express how deeply like warm and like welcoming it was to be like they were showering you with like they wanted me to come out with them all the time they were constantly telling me as they were taking me shopping they would tell me I look beautiful they tell me I didn't look beautiful they would get you know they would tell me what the newest lipstick was they knew everything they would you know I remember like watching Paris is Burning with all of them and they were like you know that line when she was walking down the extravagances you're like you're rich you own everything you know executive realness like no one knows where executive realness came from it came from Paris is Burning like there is like a lot of people who are like oh my god I don't know what I'm doing I don't know what I'm doing but like there is a part of my like experience in like in New York that is rooted in being close to that culture when it was happening in the moment and like I feel really like grateful for that because it was incredible it was before Giuliani cleaned the city up and there were gay clubs and sex clubs and bathhouses it was it was the raunchy part of New York that I loved yeah I don't know I just I grew up in like literally like a bleached community right well I mean exactly the thing about pre-Giuliani New York is that like it's and we I say this all the time it's like the Times Square red and blue thing it's like you you you had cross-class interactions and all these spaces which every healthy city needs totally and why I but I do want to go back to the men like being direct with you did that rub off on you in the way in the sense that like I think people would consider you to be a direct person yes but it took a while and I think also I went too far like I remember when I was younger I was I remember going home to California and I was like I was like in California and seeing with my friends and being like a little bit like girl that you got to change that that's yeah yeah yeah they were like we don't know who this person is I was I went a little too far and I found myself being or being too snarky or like making a fun of somebody's outfit and like them not handling it well and I'm like okay sorry like I didn't I definitely didn't yes I had to calibrate sure there's an adjustment period to the self yes you know what I mean I think it's like um we were talking the other day about how like for a while there in California there was like critique culture became really popular like Simon Powell on American Idol being like you're a bad singer you look terrible you will never have a career when that is the number one show in the world yes it does affect the way that people communicate like I remember being in high school and the girls had seen Mean Girls and they started talking to each other like Regina George and I'm like I don't think you picked up the right thing from this though I understand yeah seeing this cruelty being stylish and wanting funny and funny and effective yes and so when that is something that is an influence on you you do have to calibrate yeah and I think like there's you know Michael Kors you know there was a lot of that kind of snarkiness but the funny thing is it's easier for men and of course it's definitely easier for gay men because it's like a shtick whereas when a girl does it yeah and so I I got myself into a little trouble for sure like I think people felt like I was being snarky and mean and I was and I enjoyed it and then I was like oh this is maybe two mean but there's a healthy dose of it I agree and the thing is what was the difference was there was honesty behind it like yeah most of the time like a lot of the boys when they were safe like what I loved about it was they would they were honest they would say you don't look great go back and change and I'd be like I'd whip myself around and I'd turn around and change and like I want that you can take a note because a boyfriend can't tell you to go back to your room and change and your girlfriend if they do then you're in competition and you think she's a cunt like you know like the There's something about that relationship, but it's hard then to. Try that on when it's not, you're not a good man. - Would you ever tell me I looked bad? - Yes. - Have you? - I've like maybe like given you guff or just like made fun of you for wearing, I would never be like, that's interesting. - See, but what you're saying is valuable. - I would tell you in a heartbeat. - I know you would. - I'd be like, girl, no. - What do you think about what I'm wearing? - You look great. - Thank you so much. - I love and I love that you're being so preppy and your polo loafers, you're just the cutest. - Thank you. You sent me a link to something and you said you need this. - Oh, Husbands Paris, you need to get a custom made suit. - Oh. - Absolutely. - I would love. - You would come. I've been trying not to send you things because I know you're, well, because I know you're like in the middle of like-- - I don't care, I'm responding to Broadway. - No, please, we wanna hear from you. - Okay. - Yeah. - And Jenna did-- - But I'll take you. - Let's go. - I will take you. - Do you wanna know what Jenna Lyons dogged me into doing and I will never change that? She was like, here's my number, put me, pin me. - Yeah. - Pin me. - Pin me now. - Pin me now. - She has her own row. - Good. - Folks, she's her own, Jenna fucking Lyons has her own row and my pin. And come on. - Do you know how much-- - Obsessed. - On all the, I gotta hold mine up at the same time. - Obsessed. - Jenna Lyons right there. - Y'all are pinned. - We're pinned. - Do you know-- - Oh my God, title of that, pinned. - Do you know that my-- - Lubed and pinned. - Stepdaughter saw that and she was like, do you have Poe and Yang things in your phone? And I was like-- - Wait, you know what's funny? It's funny to hear you say like executive realness and then I realized that's kind of what you're walking for like a long time. You're kind of walking executive realness. - Thanks, babe. - Do you love that? - Of course, I love it. - Yeah, of course. - Of course. I mean, I think that is the like part of my personality that I, I think everyone thinks that you have to be truly like a content, just a bitch to be an executive. - Yes. - And I just think that's not true. - No. - It's part of my favorite thing is like, I get to play that role and have done it, but still do it to this day. And I'm like, I'm, you know, on the board of a public company and I enjoy doing that. - Yeah. - It's a totally different thing than the rest of my life, but that's okay. - You're living the reality of it. And I, I guess this dovetails into, into the conversation about you on TV, which is like, I feel like stylish is like one thing. And then like Roni is another where it's like, people might've had the expectation that you would show up on that show and be like Jenna fucking Lyons, which you were, but like, but to like be able to like. - I struggled. That was the hardest thing I've ever done. - Really? - But meanwhile, but I'm sure you had the expectation maybe within you or other people did. And maybe that's where it kind of starts to, break down where it's like, you know, you can be direct and you know, you can be like, you can, you can be like yourself and you can assert yourself in those situations, the classic housewife situations. And yet it doesn't totally work because the people you were with maybe like just had their own weird reservations about like who you were. - Well, why was it difficult for you? - I mean, it was a clusterfuck, honestly. I think first of all, there's, I mean, it's a kind of, it's a lot to unravel, but the first season, I think was such a, it was so hard. And the reason it was so hard was somewhat of what you're saying. I think they all had really different perceptions of who I was. And I think they all made assumptions that I was being treated differently, that the network was treating me differently, all the, which none of which was true, but they made assumptions that then put ideas into their head about the way that they should actually sort of siphon me, they kind of treated me differently. And then one of the girls decided to make up a story that was just flat out. And it was just flat out not true, basically about the fact that I had like petitioned Andy to get on the show and had a business plan that I presented to him, which is just, it's just not true. - It's absurd. - But she was quite convincing and got them sort of rallied behind. So I found myself really-- - Alienated. - Alienated. And I think the other issue that I didn't realize at the time, which I realized when we going into the second season was like, when you are the only gay person and you are the one who's, I was much older than them, like there's just this natural divide. And so like all the conversations that they were having, about boys and sex and like, I just couldn't. I didn't, I was like, oh, and like, you know, one of them was trying to have a baby. And I'm like, I just wasn't in the same place. And I think they also were all in this place where they were trying to make their careers and trying to become famous. And I'd already sort of done that. And I wasn't looking, that wasn't, and I knew what it was. Like there's no, it's, you know, this, I watched them as they started to get more famous and notorious is a little bit, maybe a better word. And I think, you know, sort of reading the comments and getting people and listening to everyone's feedback about them. And you're like, you start to see like that world is a house of cards, like your friends are your friends. Those people that you think that love you because of your title or who you are or what position you hold, or the fact that you're on a show, they are not really your friends and you will find out the hard way. And so I didn't have that same connection to fame that they did. So it was just, I felt really isolated and I didn't, and I didn't know how to fight on TV. Like I just didn't know how to do it. - It's not the same as it is like in a professional setting. - Well, the other problem was in a professional setting, I was the boss. - Yeah. - So no one, I was like, what, what? - Yeah. - What your problem is. - I'm sorry? - Yeah. - Ah, yeah. - So we're doing this? - Yeah. - Oh. - Thanks. - Wow. - Honestly, yeah. - And it just wasn't, like it was a totally different dynamic. I floundered. And then the second season was better 'cause there was Raquel who was gay and there was, and she was more my age and it was better, but I did not fit in. I mean, I felt like literally like a fish out of water and not because I'm, you know, some people think, oh, you think you're better. I'm like, no. - No, it's not that. - Honestly, those women are like, I am so like completely, I mean, also people want something different. Like, have you seen the season this, have you seen any of it this season? - We're watching it and we're actually really enjoying it. - Yeah. - I mean, yeah. - If you're watching this, you're actually really enjoying it. - Yeah. - I think it's better. That girl who's high all the time. - Hailey Glassman, yeah. - You need that person who's just like literally out to lunch. Like, that is funny. It's funny. - It is, it is. - That's not me. I couldn't do it. - Here's the thing I think about you on that show. You actually made it something people wanted to watch. - You were the draw. - You were the draw. And so in that regard, no, you were because they're ultimately, this is a time where no one was checking for Roni. You came on the show. It kind of felt like, wow. They're really, really finding people who are dynamic New Yorkers. Let's see. And then I do agree with you that like, it felt like a bunch of different people put together. Now that they actually have some semblance of a real dynamic and they're bringing in other people that, yes, bring that humor and that kind of quality of Roni that we can recognize with it, it feels like it's a little bit more gelled. But I do think that it exists because-- - Because you did two seasons on it. - That's nice, thanks. - Yeah. - Thank you. Well, I do think like that. I think the thing you said too, it's like there's, you need the humor to not be mean. I think what happened our season, like it was just mean. And I was like, girl, what? - Well, it got ugly and it got exceedingly dark. - Well, you didn't even see what, I mean, you can imagine, as you know, with anything like that, we filmed a lot more that you did not see what it got. It was, I mean, we flew home from our final trip separately. - Yeah. - It got ugly from one of the girls because it got so dark and they were like, we don't even want to be on the same plane. It was just, and that, like, what are we doing? Like, what am I doing? - Yeah, for what? Ultimately for what? - What am I doing here? Like, this is just not-- - Yeah. - Yeah, anyway, so it was, I'm so glad I did it and I'm grateful to be a part of it. And I love the girls. I still like-- - And you do watch it, ish. - I will, yes, I'm gonna watch. I mean, I-- - I love this. I'm so, I so get it. - You watch enough, you are aware of who Hailey Glass is and that she's a breakout star. That feels like, yeah, that's the headline. - I still also, because I'm on, my Instagram is like, besides Animal Rescue, it's a lot of the house, 'cause it was from-- - Well, yes. - Sure, sure, sure. - And so I see all the little clips going around. I see people reacting. I think what's more interesting is the way the fans are reacting. They're like, this is what I want from the show, blah, blah. And I'm like, yes, like, I want this show to be sex. I want them to be successful. I want the girls to have tons of success. And I want, I have like, I just want, I want to do it from my living room. - Yes. - Of course. - Not from behind the camera. Everyone is different. Every one. Yes, even you. Yes, even your situationship. - Did you know there's more to consider about long-acting injectable prep options than how often you get it? Also, why you want to take it matters. Your lifestyle matters. Your routine, your chaos level, your I-might-forget-my-own-birthday energy, all of it counts. - No. - Don't worry. - Okay, readers, we gotta discuss a vacation that's not just a vacation, it's a stay. - Statement. - Virgin voyages, adults only. It's giving serenity, it's giving sexy European summer. - They're sailing the Caribbean and the Mediterranean, obviously, but now they've added the West Coast and Alaska. - And the awards. - They've won so many travel awards, the ships might sweep our culture awards. Slay of the Sea, excellence in poolside looks, Outstanding achievement in top-deck behavior. Over 20 eateries, epic entertainment, fitness classes, Wi-Fi, all included. Virgin Voyages. Sailors, consider yourselves called. So if you're ready to trade the group chat drama for glacier views, poolside looks, and zero children, head to virginvoyages.com. Say it with me, virginvoyages.com. Or hand it off to your travel advisor and let them do the Googling. You probably think dressing well takes lots of money or lots of time spent digging through thrift stores. Well, not to be rude, but you're wrong. So dead wrong. And honestly, we're happy for you because now we get to tell you about Depop. You can find the fashion you love for less on Depop. And it doesn't matter what you're into. Leopard print, they've got it. Not into leopard print, first of all, why? But fine. They've got that too. Not leopard print. Basically, whatever your particular fashion situation is, Depop has entered the chat. We're talking over 600,000 daily listings. Including celebrity and stylish shop drops. That's a lot of listings. And somehow it gets better. You can sell the stuff you no longer wear and make money. Then use that money to buy things you do want to wear. It's a circle. Like the circle of life, but for fashion. And since fashion is life for a lot of people, same-sies. Depop fashion. If it made sense. Depop, love you. Would you ever do it? I am going to say no because I think the thing that I struggled with most at SNL was the meta-narrative. And I think that's all reality is, right? Yeah, for sure. And not something you can control. And it's not something you can control in the same way. But it's like, yeah, I loved clocking in every single day. But then when there would be news cycles about what a host would do or what the discourse would be because someone made an off-color joke. Or because, you know, there was some behavior. Or whatever, like off-camera. It's like that was the thing that I struggled with the most. I was like, I don't want to be asked how Elon Musk was as a host. You know, it's like that was what I was struggling with. And I was like, which makes me think, to extrapolate, like I don't think I could bear being on a reality show. The surroundings of it. Like because the entire ecosystem of it is something you have to take into account. Not just wouldn't it be fun to be on The Traders because it would. And like, you know. Well, that's different. Yeah, would you ever do that? Yeah, I would totally do Traders. Oh, you should! I love that show. I love that show. I think it's great. And I'm very excited to watch the one that's coming up now. That's, I'm like so into it. Do you have any, do you know anyone? Well, I want to see Jerry. You know I'm obsessed with Jerry Hall. So like, she's on The British One, which I'm very. Oh, she's on The British One. The British One is sad. The British One people are loving. And I really, we won't get until after. I know, I know. But I think you can, yeah. I really want, I really, yeah. Oh, you should totally do it. I would love to do it. Oh, yeah. I think the show is actually brilliant. It is. Would you guys do it? At this point, I'm just, I will say yes. Wait, can we do the same season? Yes, I did. Yeah, but then you know we're all going to get in trouble for like. Because here's the thing. Like, I would do The Traders because it's fun and a game. But the thing is, it still does have that same ecosystem around it. It has the same ecosystem. I don't think it says lasting and scrutinizing, but like it does. I had to decline last year because I was working. I was working on something else. So, if I'm available, I would love to do it. Okay, noted you're putting yourself out here. Well, but the question is, people ask us, would you do it together? And I think if we were to do it together, they would pick us off immediately. Or they would put us in a horrible situation. No, that makes sense. Like one of us is a traitor. I just don't want to be buried alive. Like, that's just a hard no for me. It wasn't that tough. That was just like, I can't. That's not, that's the only thing I'd be like, absolutely not. I'm not good at, like, I don't think I could look you in the eyes and be like, I'm a faithful. There's a traitor. Like, you would have to go right away. Okay, let's do this. We're all traitors, but then let's pretend the other two people are faithfuls. And then we have to convince them. And we're all traitors right now. We're all traitors, but we're also all faithfuls. Does that make sense? Okay, I'm gonna look at Jenna and I'm gonna say I'm a faithful. So where is this happening in the grand scheme? Did we just come out of the room where the traitors have been picked? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we just came, so this is the scenario. Okay. There's just been a round table. We all vehemently, vituperatively went after a faithful. Vituperatively, I love that you just used that word. And then, and they, and they were just found out. And we're crestfallen because they were actually a faithful and we failed. And we don't know that each other are traitors? No, I'm saying, these are gonna be three isolated sort of timelines. Okay. That I'm, so let's say in this example, I'm a traitor. Okay. And you guys are faithfuls. All right, okay, okay, okay. This is already gonna fail. So a faithful just went home and we're talking about it. Wow. My God. I can't believe Todrick wasn't a. Todrick, Todrick Hall wasn't a traitor. Honestly, you guys, I suspected him. You guys, look at me. I'm a faithful. No, I'm, same, but I think. No, that's already, okay, it's done, it's done, okay. Okay, now, okay, now, now, now. The way, you see, I'm a faithful. Who the fuck was that? Okay, okay, now it's Matt's turn to be, Matt's turn to be, and then what's, and you name the scenario, what, what's the scenario? The scenario is, the scenario is, we're coming back, we're in the car. Okay. We're coming back from the challenge. Okay. Okay, great. Wow, I can't believe we were in the lock for. It's Meghan Markle. Wait, do you really think so? She's a traitor. Wait. Why would she be on the show if she wasn't a traitor? Cuz she's, she's addicted to attention. But she's a princess. I mean, don't you think she just wants to like, yeah, she just wants to be on a show. She just wants to be on a show. I feel like she's a traitor, you guys. I really do. No, I can't. She's a, but you, but you can't because. No. You're a traitor. No. Matt. I, I, no, honestly, like, I, I don't know why you would think that. Like, I'm one of the most feel like you, I just feel like I, if I'm casting. See, and that's, this is, wait, reality break. This is the thing about it, too. I can't go in there and, and not be thinking like a producer. Like, well, I know they picked three, these three people. Because I'll tell you what, if Phaedra Parks is on the, is on the cast list. You better be making. She's a traitor. Right. Right away because they're not going to not pick Phaedra. But that's not true. Then they might do exactly that because of what you just said, is that people are going to expect. Yes. That's the whole, like, that's the entire point. I know, but I'm just saying, I knew, I knew, I knew when the show started and I, I, I find this often like, and obviously this is because they're leaning on it in the editing. Yes, yes, yes. But I was like, oh, they're going to pick Joe and Tamika. Sure. Okay. But back, we're back in the car. Okay. We're back in the car. Okay. I just want to test out Matt's conviction with this. Okay. So you're faithful? Yeah. Right. You thought no? No. Definitely no. I think I could do it. I've, I've won, like, amateur games of traitors. Amateur mafia. I've won. Yeah. Okay. Okay. It's the eyebrows. They just. They do do too much. They really put out. They just put out. They put out. They're expressive. They really. I know. You have to imagine me, like, putting every, I just did another self tape and they go, just tell Matt he has to do nothing. I know. I probably get that note all the time. Like, literally, because my. What's a self tape? Like, like, you. An audition. Bless you. It's when you put yourself on tape for an audition. Oh. For an audition. Because they no longer do that in person. What are you auditioning for? I'll tell you after, but I, because I think it could be a thing. But you really, when you have a face that absolutely hops all over the place, you can't do anything. No. Right. Like, I watched. But even when you just said that, you looked so sinister. So the social reckoning we just saw, Billy Magnusson plays this part that I auditioned. I auditioned for. And I thought I did a great tape for it. Didn't get it. Billy Magnusson got it, obviously. And I'm watching him in the scene that I read for the audition. And he's literally not doing anything. He's doing nothing. Doing nothing. You have to do it. You have to just lie and just doing this. But you are good when you do nothing. So when I do it, I get really good feedback. Yeah. It's good. You have a good resting bitch face. Thanks. Yeah. And you can find it pretty quickly. I mean, that's the thing is like, I can act. It's just that me as a person is too much. No. So whenever I feel like I'm act, I feel like I go on tape. You know what I'm saying. I know. I totally. It's like you want to feel like you're giving an energy. Of course. But then when you do, it reads on camera like you're a crazy person. No. Believe me. I've done a few. I was on Girls. You were great on Girls. Thank you. Those were iconic episodes. Thank you. But the amount of things that are on the cutting room floor from that. Lena kept saying, less. Just be. I totally get. I just couldn't. I thought I had to act. Yeah. I didn't know what acting was. And I still don't. Acting is literally existing in the most stillness you can possibly find. Film acting. Whereas performing is so different. I know. Did you see Sterling Point? Have you watched that? Yes. I love Sterling Point. I loved it. It's so fun. But I have to say, Ella Rubin was so great. And so good at holding. And then that girl, Bo. I'm obsessed with her. Yeah. I met the two of them. They were so cute. Oh my god. I met out. Cass shot Ella. And she was at our house for the shooting. And she's the sweetest. Most beautiful. Oh, wait. That house is your house? No. I don't think it's come out yet. The one that she did. Oh, got it. Got it. She's in Muskoka. Okay. For the fall. For the fall. You don't. Why? It's so hard to get to. But you're Canadian. Okay, fine. Ontario is going to be protected from climate disaster. That's why. That's true. That's true. That's why. That's true. Are you friends with Emily Hampshire? No. I've met her a few times. She's lovely. I have yet to meet her. Everyone raves about Emily. She's great. But she's Canadian. Yes. Yes. Schitt's Creek legend. Yes. Legend. Yes. I don't care. I mean, I don't know what the fuck. - You love London, don't you? - I, no. - No. Because you fucking love New York. Why would you go there? Why would you go to be New York? I love New York. Nothing beats New York. Nothing really beats New York. It's true. I don't know. Where would you want to be? Where's your fantasy to retire? Honestly, probably somewhere in New York, like something sort of upstate or in the North Fork. Okay, North Fork. Where's your retire? Muskoka? Muskoka. Really? I've never been. You've never been? But we'll end up going there because that's what he wants. If it's good enough for Martin Shore, it's good enough for me. It's just a little isolating because you have to be, like, there's no, it's hard to hang out. Two hours from Toronto, I can go into town. Okay. Okay. Honestly, a two-hour drive, not bad. I don't like upstate because it's spooky. No, I had a house upstate, and I was like, I couldn't get anybody to play on my goddamn driveway. There you go. It was a nightmare, actually, being up there as a single. I had it when I was single. It's tough right now. You need to be connected. Yeah. And also, like, the problem with upstate, and this is what nobody, everyone thinks, like, you have the best food, but the problem is the food's only good during the farmer's market time, but the farmer's market is on the weekends and Wednesday, and so you arrive on a Friday night, and there's no place to go but the grocery store. The grocery stores are from hunger. They are literally, like, I mean, everything, there's nothing organic for miles. It's all, like, carcinogens. I'm like, I don't, this is not what I want. Yeah, no, no, no. It's not the same. It's not going to be the way. What's your answer now? What's my answer? Where I want to retire? Yeah. I think probably I would like to be between the South Bork. Yeah. Eastern Long Island. Eastern Long Island and California. I want to get, have you seen that place in Paradise Cove where all those little, I've been looking at those little, like, trailers in Paradise Cove. Our friends of ours have a couple of people. Our friends bought Sarah Paulson's, and it's the cutest thing you've ever seen, and then our other friends bought one across the street, and then our other friends. Oh, so you're going to give a compound. It's like a lesbian compound. You know what else I like? And this is sort of, sometimes I'm like, I look at, I'll go to, like, a restaurant there, and I'll see the bar, and I'll see me in the future is Palm Springs. I love Palm Springs. Love Palm Springs. I just need to have water. Yeah. That's the only thing. But the architecture in Palm Springs is the absolute best. And I like the dry heat. I do too, but I still need water. Yeah, but don't we all? Yeah. I want to be on a boat. At least that's. Oh, sure. Fraser-coated. You want the water. Fraser-coated. Oh, not like. Do you want to try the exercise where you're a traitor and we're faithfuls, or no? I don't know. I think you might be pretty good at it. I don't. I'm the traitor? Yeah. Yeah, and so you name the scenario that we're in. Oh, God. Okay. We're at breakfast. We're at breakfast. Okay. I was going to say, when we're at the round table. Okay. Okay. And they've just given out all of the. Like, we've just found out who everybody is. Okay. Okay. Okay. I love that. I love that. Okay. And so this is at the very beginning, and we're just going to, like. We're now trying to decide, and I'm just going to look at you, and I'm just going to straight up ask you, okay, what card did you get? Like, so. Okay. So we all just found out. Okay. Okay. I'm disappointed. I'm disappointed. I'm disappointed. I'm disappointed. So. What did you get? I'm a faithful. You are? Yes. I did not want to be. You didn't? Are you a traitor? Yeah. No, I got a faithful. I want to be a traitor. Did you say yeah? No, I said yeah. You just said yeah. I said I wanted to be. Like, I actually would rather be a traitor. You'd rather be a traitor. I would. Oh. I can see the disappointment in your eyes. No, I told Alan. I was like, no, I want to be faithful. Well, wait. Did you actually get to talk to Alan? He did what you told him. We all did our pre-interview with Alan. Oh, they didn't shoot with you. No, but can I just. Why would they not shoot with you? Can I. Can you? I didn't. But wait, can I just ask this question, though? Yes. Do you think that he actually is the one who makes the decision? He. Jenna. No. You've seen the show before. He taps you on the shoulder. Oh, you're just. I think a team of producers tell him who to pick. Right. That's what I was going to say. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Like, even if you have a pre-interview with him, do you think he really has influence or is it something that feels like the producers are doing? Why does this matter? Only because, like, I just, you know, like, I want to know who's being singled out because I wonder who he doesn't like and who he likes. Traitor. No, actually, can I just say. I bought it. Jenna, you would be pretty good. You have to go on. Let's do it. Okay. Hey, NBC. We're available. We're just going to have to stay in, like, a windowless motel by the airport for, like, three weeks. Wait, excuse me. Isn't it, like, in a big chateau? Girl, no. No. This is where it gets tough. It's the harsh reality of, like, being a reality contestant. They take your phone away. You got to do all your own stuff. Oh, have we met? Mm-mm-mm. Yeah. Not happening. I was staying in some random hotel. I mean, what a chance. So then you're out. I just got out. I'm out. Yeah. I just traded. Well, then not that. I'm like, fuck. And you know what? We're out, too. Fuck to the no. We're out, too. None of us are doing it. Oh, I know. It's time for I Don't Think So, Honey. So this is our 60-second segment that we do. Where we take on something in a culture that needs a little bit of dragging. Yeah. And I am going to. I have a sartorial I Don't Think So, Honey. Oh, fabulous. Today. Okay. I don't necessarily know if I have enough material. I may just have an opinion. But I'm still going to fill 60 seconds of time. I bet you can. This is Matt Rogers' I Don't Think So, Honey's Time Starts Now. I Don't Think So, Honey, Alexander Skarsgård's See-Through YSL Shoes. Oh. I don't necessarily think we need to see. We need to see everyone's feet. And I say this as an appreciator of Alexander Skarsgård's whole self. Tip to top. I think he is just fabulous. But I don't think so, honey. The See-Through YSLs. I actually liked the suit. The double-breasted gold suit that he was wearing. And he was actually. All the buttons were buttoned. And I think that you can do that now. You didn't like it. No, I loved it. You loved it. And I think that I might be having a different opinion than our guest. Who I have a feeling might be, even though she's a lesbian woman, Alexander Skarsgård Pilt. No, I would so fucking switch teams for that. She would switch teams for him. And I have a feeling that she loves the See-Through YSLs. I'm not even saying I don't like them in general. I was just saying, like, slap the right shoe on that man. And I think, you know, we got a great look. But do we have the conversation? I don't know. So I don't think so, honey. Maybe myself. And that's one minute. What do you think? I just. I. First of all, it's Alexander Skarsgård. Ice. Perfect. Like, everything inside of that is perfect. I'm sure it smells inside there, but I don't care. Yeah. And honestly, like, I really love that he goes there. I just. I love that he goes there, too. But that going there every single time doesn't mean that every single time it's going to be a 10 out of 10. You liked the See-Through YSLs. I just think they're just ridiculous. And his feet are hot. He's got good feet. Were they? His feet were perfect. I'm sorry. OK. Did you see? Like, I zoomed in on that. I zoomed in. I mean, I took a gander. I guess I wasn't clocking. Like, what? What's this foot giving? But, I mean, if you're saying it was good. Question for the two of you. Would it have been kind of funny and a little witty, winky if he had worn socks? No. I think if you're going to be wearing a See-Through YSL, you've got to wear it. There's no way the sock wouldn't feel, like, crumpled up inside. Yeah. Here's my. Here's the thing. It's like, what I like is that it's a totalizing gesture, which is my favorite thing, where it's like. Totalizing gesture. You just go, like, head to toe. There is nothing that's off. It's like, if he was wearing a leather shoe, like, it just wouldn't have the same impact. Yeah. I. I loved it. Totalizing gesture. I'm obsessed. I'm happy I brought it up, because I knew that we had a scholar here, and I've honestly been looking at it, and I was like, this is going to be my. I don't think so, honey. I don't know if I'm on board with it, but I'm happy I brought it up, and I encourage men to show their feet. I do, too. I mean. Did someone just say no? Me. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It's a hot button issue. Okay. No. Well, okay. Within reason. Like, if the feet are not. Like, no one should be showing their feet if they're not cared for. Like, if they're not cared for, I don't want to see them. And you can. Many straight men show their feet, and they don't care for them, and it's so crazy that they think they can put them dogs outside like that. Women do it, too, and it's just a hard no for me. I guess it's worse then. Sure. Well, I mean, because it's like. Because they have to compete with. Why is it worse? Because they have to compete with every other woman's foot who's out there, and I would imagine that, like, I'm not saying it's worse when a woman does it. I'm saying you have a lot more foot competition. Therefore, if you have a foot, and this is just, you know, the way it is. It's normal for men to have bad feet outside. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's a hard no for me, though. You don't get to have. If you have bad feet, like, I don't want to see them. Bad feet, put them away. Put them away. Stranger danger. Stranger. Yeah. Like, get those feet, those sandals that have, like, the toes already in them. Oh, you'd rather have that. No, I'm kidding. I know. Okay. Bo and Yang, are you ready for your I don't think so. I haven't had this in a while. I am. This is a. This is a tribute to our guest, and I've really not stopped thinking about it since she said this. Okay. This is Bo and Yang's I don't think so, honey. His time starts now. Dill. At first, I go, why is Jenna Lyons hitting on Dill? What did Dill ever do to her? Then I thought, wait a minute. It's disgusting. It's disgusting. It gets everywhere. It's green hair. It's like a little net. Puby all over the fucking place, and it's pungent, acerbic, overpowers. All the time people put Dill in the dish, it just becomes the Dill party. Yeah. It becomes Dill featuring. 30 seconds. Everything else. Yeah. I don't like it when something just hogs that way. Yeah. And I think with herbs, you're supposed to enhance, you are supposed to bring out the best in everything else in the dish. 15 seconds. Dill just comes in, kicks your fucking door down, and it's moving in. It evicts you, displaces you. Five seconds. It is settler colonialism. at its worst in the dish and I don't think so in Dill. 100% and that's one minute. Oh my god I love that more than anything I've ever lived in my life. You did you faced a lot of push back push back I was very I didn't push back I was like I was neutral on Dill I was like oh Jenna what's Jenna's I think is she thinking of cilantro is she thinking of parsley no Dill Dill thank you and it shows up more than it should honestly it wasn't invited it comes too frequently I particularly don't like it when it's just doused on top of things like on Sam like don't it's like I don't need it pretends to be garnished and yet it infiltrates and dominates it does it does and honestly with no value like it's not accretive like those words have been pinging around in my brain for the past four years three years since you've said that and I'm like I'm honored I think it's because Dill gets the reason why you faced pushback was because I think one of the great things in America is Big Pickle and I think that people love Pickle and I think it's it's the idea of Big Pickle that is colonizing the minds almost like Dill often colonizes a dish and I think that once people learn to separate Pickle from Dill they'll understand that they're dealing with we're just dealing with excess over here that's that's the moment you just actually named the moment it is not about Pickles it is about the colonization of my fucking plate yes yes and Pickles don't need the Dill no they don't I love a bread and butter pickle all day long me too like I do not like I don't I clearly don't want a Dill Pickle is there anything better than Pickles like I love I recently discovered the snackable Pickles I love those oh my god all day they're so good I love them you could Pickle anything I mean well within reason yes I'm like obsessed with Pickles anything Pickled I'm here for oh my god we're Pickled here we're Pickled we're Pickled Pink we're Pickled Tink we're Pickled Tink Pickled Tink have you ever had Pickled Ginger yes I love everything Pickled well I mean you're talking about like with sushi or what yeah like but there's some really good Pickled Ginger of course you can Pickle Ginger slightly different and it's the best yeah yeah yeah it's my favorite oh god the Ginger at Omen is like the best at Omen do you guys not go to Omen what's your favorite restaurant in New York oh that's hard so hard but Omen is like the old school like Omen's been here for like when I went to New York what's crazy is the restaurants I went to like when I first started coming to New York are Omen Indochine Raoul's and Odeon Odeon and they're all still there and cool still they rise I know right amazing so that's like my core Odeon there's nowhere chicer and less fussy but it's not fussy Odeon it's the best this ad is sponsored by Veve Healthcare time for some prep wisdom but first some common sense people everyone is different everyone yes even you yes even your situationship especially your situationship and just like people injectable prep options not all the time that's why you need to talk to your doctor and know what to ask so here's some prep wisdom did you know there's more to consider about long acting injectable prep options and how often you get it also why you want to take it matters your lifestyle matters your routine your chaos level your I might forget my own birthday energy all of it counts basically talk to your doctor have the conversation ask the questions be a little nosy about your own health it's allowed encouraged even okay did you write all that down no don't worry just head to getprepwisdom.com to learn what to ask your doctor that's getprepwisdom.com okay readers we gotta discuss a vacation that's not just a vacation it's a statement virgin voyages adults only yes a child free sanctuary at sea it's giving serenity it's giving sexy European summer it's giving I deserve this they're sailing the Caribbean and the Mediterranean obviously but now they've added the west coast and Alaska so whether you want golden hour off California or full cinematic glacier core main character energy they said range and the awards at this point it's less award winning cruise line and more do we just engrave their name on the trophy they've won so many travel awards the ships might sweep our culture awards slay of the sea excellence in poolside looks outstanding achievement in top deck behavior over 20 eateries epic entertainment fitness classes wifi all included luxury without the nickel and diming virgin voyages sailors consider yourselves called so if you're ready to trade the group chat drama for glacier views poolside looks and zero children head to virginvoyages.com say it with me virginvoyages.com or hand it off to your travel advisor and let them do the googling you probably think dressing well takes lots of money or lots of time spent digging through thrift stores well not to be rude but you're wrong so dead wrong and honestly we're happy for you because now we get to tell you about depop you can find the fashion you love for less on depop and it doesn't matter what you're into leopard print they've got it not into leopard print first of all why but fine they've got that too not leopard print basically whatever your particular fashion situation is depop has entered the chat we're talking over 600,000 daily listings including celebrity and stylist shop drops that's a lot of listings and somehow it gets better you can sell the stuff you no longer wear and make money then use that money to buy things you do want to wear it's a circle like the circle of life but for fashion and since fashion is life for a lot of people samesies depop fashion if it made sense make money on depop with no selling fees and find what you want for less depop love you this are you ready this is a big moment for the record I have a list a running list of things on my phone that are things that I hate let's go and I think this is this is literally the place to dump it so do do one do all do whatever you wish I'm just gonna give all of them to you because she's about to come dump on us with all of her we're just getting come dump on by Jenna fucking Lyons this is Jenna Lyons I don't think so honey her time starts now okay I don't think so honey people who don't let you out of the building first that is the rudest thing you can possibly do people who block the box you're not gonna get there any faster you asswipe just wait a goddamn minute ugly banks chase bank you posted 57 million dollar profit last year why does your gorgeous building on the corner look like a cheap gynecologist office not okay for me why do drivers take why do the dryers take my socks it's 2026 why is that still happening sock monster you're cooked give them back at once fuck you sock monster purple cars why yeah that's tough that's tough why are candlesticks and candles not uniform why is it that every time I buy a candle it doesn't fit into the candlestick I have like outlets they should be standardized oh it drives me crazy I don't want to light my house on fire I don't want them falling over and I don't want to have to shave them down okay stretchy tight pants on straight men what if they're bad get a belt TV over the mantles who invented that oh no you're right thank you eyeline bad for eyeline bad for neck bad vessel sinks hard no for me people who are close talkers if I can see your kidneys you're too close having so many god damn passwords yeah I can't no any and all portals I don't want to be on a portal any and all portals I don't want to be on a portal and that was one minute honestly I would I prefer it as a list I actually prefer it as a list too honestly you're animating the forum after 10 years you are right portals are horrible I don't want to be here at all when you have a child all you have is portals when you have like portals for their for their school portals for healthcare portals I just don't want to be on a portal I don't want to have passwords I don't want to be in a portal I want somebody to like give me a fucking form and I'll fill it out with a pencil I don't care yeah he wants paper culture too I want paper culture I don't want I just don't like the word portal portal exactly I don't like the word portal either it sounds like I'm supposed to put my finger in something I don't well you like that portal it's true but that's an intimate moment of course intimate portal not for a child school no it just doesn't it's the wrong or portal feels like Stargate or Magic totally it feels like a fantasy it's just not the right word it's not a portal people it's information that you need from me give me a goddamn form yeah I don't I don't keep your portal keep your fucking portal I don't want it oh my god honestly well in a way this episode has sort of been a portal to cultural greatness absolutely this is one of our I mean this is the thing the whole the whole premise of this podcast is that it's two people who are not qualified to talk about culture and yet here we are with truly one of the most cultured people we've had and we have John Dunn to thank for that we have John Dunn to thank who's in Puerto Rico now we hope wherever he is in Puerto Rico he gets podcasts I mean I hope so have you seen that woman who lives upstate and she is Spanish and she has her own store and she talks about all the people that come in and think that she's like she's from Spain and they think that she's either Puerto Rican but they are like Puerto Rican or that she's actually from Mexico have you seen her? I have not seen her okay you guys this is my it's my it's she's so fucking funny she's like here's the way people have made assumptions about me it's good it's amazing I don't know if I can oh my god it's so funny that Cass's pictures just came up I have to send her I have to find her for you because you would die she's beyond I'm obsessed with her well while you find I'm not going to I won't spend more than 30 seconds while you use your phone as a portal honestly that's like in a real life portal is when someone brings their phone out and is like oh my god hold on a second and then you have to stand there and you're in a portal that is the worst thing ever someone recently I don't think Laura Benanti I did I watched that yes I have to tell you guys something oh you don't have to do it but I saw I saw Rosalie the other night and I have this she's incredible yeah were you at SNL? no but my friend of mine is a dancer and so the last time when I was in Paris I got to he like did a little moment with me and gave me a part of the routine and lifted me up and spun, spun me around. Like I was, and it was the best night of my life. - Oh my god. - Rosalia. - He's the handsomest thing you've ever seen. - Is he available? - Actually, yes. - Is he gay? - Oh yeah. - It's about to be a what? - A girl fight. - If Matt and I were-- - Do you guys like the same kind of guys? - Some, every now and then, but I think it would be fun to have a show or some competition format where Matt and I would have to oil wrestle for a man. - We've never talked about this, but I think he and I were at Berghain with one guy and I think we were both really horny for him. - But he was horny for you and he would paint me dust. - You think he was horny for me? - Absolutely. - And you let it go? You didn't pursue that? - No, because I was like-- - And then you made out with another guy. - When did I make out with another guy? - Some guys get all the luck at Berghain. - Oh, I made out with, that was weird, though. - But wait, have you ever talked about the fact that you've been attracted to the same person? - We've never been like, you know what, we've dated the same guy once or twice. - There was one tangential overlap, point of overlap. - That is not okay. - That is not okay. - Mr. Dick would make us sick. - I know, I know, God. - You gotta keep it separate. - Were you guys seeing somebody during COVID, or were you-- - No. - I was-- - You were. - Yeah, you were. - Yeah, I was. - You were, you were. - I had a boyfriend for the first few months of COVID. We didn't coexist together in pandemic that great, but we are still best friends to this day. - Oh. - Yeah. - Wait, well, what about Bowen? - That's my sister best friend forever, my bestie, and we're talking about Jared, who's our best friend, who's like another best friend. - Do you guys wake up in the morning and text each other? Like, what's your-- - I've been trying to get him on FaceTime more lately. - I, and I'm not opposed to it. I just, sometimes I'm not. I like to be away from the phone in the morning. - He isn't on his phone as much as I am. - But so what's your cadence of talking to each other during the day? - Oh, every day. - But like how, like 50 times, 10 times, two? - Depends. There's some days where we're very locked into each other, where we're all, where we're synchronized, and some days, now we're very much on weird schedules, where he's about to go on tour, and I'm working these odd hours at night, like it's-- - I guess my thing is, it's less a thing of cadence, and it's always like, oh, when I speak to him soon, I will say this to him, you know what I mean? It's like, we often have the thing of like, if we're together, it's probably we're spending the whole day together. - Yes, yes. - And so, it's like a mix that you do of like, making sure that you're catching up socially, and then also like understanding that sometimes when you've spent the whole day together, it's time to give that person a little bit of space. - And when you guys start dating someone, is that hard? - I care what he thinks. - I care what he thinks, absolutely. - But what about the attention? - Oh, I like it when he's getting a lot of attention, and giving a lot of attention, too. - I feel the same way. I never wanna cut into that. I don't get jealous or protective at that time. - I feel excited when my friends are getting laid with someone that they really like. - Well, it's one thing to get excited, of course, but it's another thing to feel like, hey, what about me? - Oh, yeah, we're not really like that. - Oh, no, no, no, he knows that I think about him every waking hour. - Aw. ♪ I think about you ♪ Remember that song? - No. - I love that. I love that. - You wanna be in our throuple? - Yeah. - Throuple? - Yes. - Well, we're pinned, honey. - I know, we're pinned. - Oh my God, it's lubed and pinned. - Lubed and pinned. Although, I like, what is it, totalizing? - Totalizing gesture. - Totalizing gesture, I'm obsessed. I'm using that every single fucking day of my life. - Totalizing gesture is really good. - Really good. - Like, lubed and pinned gets the clips. - Lubed and pinned, all right, all right. - Especially with this outfit. - With that outfit on. Well, this was an amazing episode. She's a fucking cultural icon to me and to you. - And we end every episode with a song. - What's the song? - La Noceria! La Noceria! - There you go. - Bye. - Bye. - Lost Cultures, this is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcasts. - Created and hosted by Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. - Executive produced by Anna Hosnier and produced by Becker Ramos. - Edited by Hot Dog Sandwich. - And our music is by Henry Komerski. - Hey everybody, it's me, Matt, and my tour is on sale now. If you're not watching me right now, I am holding in my hands my vinyl. I'm playing all over the country and in London and in Canada. I'll see you soon. - Everybody who's considering injectable prep, listen up. - Not all injectable prep options are the same. You gotta talk to your doctor about it and you gotta ask the right questions. - Is there an option that fits your lifestyle? - What about other meds and injection site reactions? - Your doctor has the answer. - Your doctor has the answers. - Start the conversation. - Shopping for your next car can feel overwhelming. Do I want a sedan, an SUV, a truck? What am I gonna need? There are so many options and you wanna make sure you're making the right choice. That's where cars.com comes in. Research your options with unbiased expert reviews, guides, and comparisons. Then shop based on the features that matter most to you. You can even see the real finance, financing rates, and monthly payments to help understand what you can afford. Turn endless possibilities into the right car for you. Start your search at cars.com. - Wanna know the secret to making every holiday party better? Bring delicious ice cold Coca-Cola to the table. Coca-Cola is the ultimate crowd pleaser, bringing delicious, refreshing taste to every meal and extra joy to every holiday gathering. Only this season. Enjoy Coca-Cola. - This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.