Looksmaxxing Debt, Income Gap Friendships, and AI Therapists ft. Pat McAuliffe

Queen Carvanhia stood haloed by the morning sun. An army hung on her every word. My champions, I have sold my chariot on Carvanha! 'Twas a lovely SUV, an inexplicably queenly offer. They're even coming to the castle to collect it! Tonight, we feast! An offer you can feast on. Sell your car today on Carvanha. Pick up fees may apply. This episode is brought to you by PayPal. You know how a mom's bag has everything? Sunscreen. Snacks. A stapler? The new PayPal app is like that, but for your money. Shop, pay, manage your account, and earn rewards all in one place. And with purchase protection on eligible items, biometric security, and pass keys, you're protected at every step. Download the new PayPal app to get started. See paypal.com/protectionterms. She hasn't actually been that deceitful to him. Unless he straight up said, "Do you have debt?" And she said, "No, I don't." Which in that case is a red flag. That's a lie. If a guy's asking you about your debt three months in. Yeah, me on a first date. But like, yeah, for sure, red flag. Pro show. What's up, rich people? It's me, Hailey, AKA Mrs. Dow Jones. And this is Financial Tea. Welcome back to Financial Tea, Sippers, the podcast where I teach you how to build wealth with a side of market drama, money scandals, and of course, financial pop culture. And wait, I thought you were filming me. No, no. Oh, there is someone else. No, we have cameras for that. There is someone else in the room with me. Yes, you can hear him. Today, we are doing a Dear Sugar Mama segment. And I have a very special guest, my gay best friend. And also just regular best. Regular best friend, but also gay best friend. But we don't need to qualify it with sexuality. We don't. And also 'cause you don't like read as gay in like the traditional sense. Right. I could. So like, it's actually you're my beard. I read straight. You're my beard for like being single. Like it's just mostly like, yeah. You can wear heels around me. Yeah. Oh, tall guy. And best friend. Yeah. And podcast host extraordinaire. You might know him from Barstools Out and About. You might know him from all of the shows that he does for Barstools that are, you know, I can't even keep up. Yes. The YouTube channel is just filled with your face. It's filled with my face. Yeah. You're like always in an RV, sort of like with cameras shooting you, like you're at NASCAR. Like, you know, your job takes you, you know, a year and a half. Yeah. Yeah. Lots of places. I'm a lady about town. You sure are. I'm all over the place, my dear. And we are going to answer your Dear Sugar Mama questions, which are today. I chose them all about money etiquette because I feel like you're really good at that. Yes. But I also threw in a bonus one at the end about dating and AI. Wait. What dating and AI? Is dating getting in the way of AI? It's getting in the way of AI. Yeah. PayPal app to get started. See paypal.com slash protection terms. When you need to build up your team to handle the growing chaos at work, use Indeed Sponsored Jobs. It gives your job post the boost it needs to be seen and helps reach people with the right skills, certifications, and more. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com slash podcast. That's indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need a hiring hero? This is a job for Indeed Sponsored Jobs. Learn better and I'm ready to just kind of dig in and sink my teeth into what we're about to get into. Okay, but first, can we just talk about like where our friendship sort of came from? So like, yes, the rumors are true. Pat and I met at David Letterman, name brand, name drop, when we were in our early 20s. You were like, had quit pharmaceutical sales. Yes, yes. Quite the pivot. I quit that. I was in Massachusetts right after school. I worked in tech job, in a tech job. And then I got a job. I got a job at David Letterman. And then probably like a week into the job, I met you. Yes. And I was like, this girl is bad at her job. Really bad. I was like, we are going to be friends. Yes. Because I was so, it's one of those things, the second you got into the show, you realize that it's kind of a dead end. Like Letterman was about to retire. So I'm like, all right, let's just have fun on this job. And who's the most fun person at David Letterman? Yes. Besides Letterman, it was you. And we had so much fun on that job. That really was a blast when you think about it. Like we had so much fun. And the worst, I would say, the funniest thing that happened was that, so I just want to be clear. Yeah. Like everyone else was really good at their job. Pat and I were like, sort of, you know, like we're bringing in literally like, like random people from Times Square to do, to be in the audience, getting in trouble. It's called like a red dot. If they put it on the ticket and you brought the audience member and they'd give it a red dot. And then when you had your review, they would tell you how many red dots that you got. Everything is based on how people looked at Letterman. But the thing is Letterman didn't know that that's how, that's what was the audience was based on. This was just an imaginary rule that these two, audience coordinators came up with in their head, which was we need to see these people up front and these people in the back. And it fell on us, me and Haley. To go to Times Square and literally grab them. To go to Times Square and it was called barking. So you literally like yell at people to give them tickets. But if you brought someone back and like they didn't fit the look, they wanted like a Midwestern wholesome look. Yeah, they did. Then they'd be like, why is this person in the front? And it was wild to be a part of, which is why after like four months. You left. Max, I was like, I'm good. And you're like, okay, I'm leaving right after you. And that was in 2014. And we've literally been best friends ever since. Best friends. I'm in your family now. Yeah, no. And then it was like, also became exactly like, you met the family and they were like, okay, we need him. Like we're done. Imagine if, do you think if I was straight, we'd be like together? But at this point we would have family. Right. At this point, like it would be, we might, and we, by the way, we would be in counseling. Like we would. Oh, it would be so, like we're on, like we're teetering on the edge, right? Like this, this interview could go left. Like if we want to, if we want to take it there, we could. We would keep it definitely interesting, but it's like, there's no way that there would be any sort of fidelity or like. Or like that we wouldn't be fighting all the time if we are married. But you always say you want, like, if we were to do kids. Oh no, do you want to tell them about our plan for kids? Yeah, so Haley's like, if we both don't have kids by the time we're 40, which is like decades from now. It's literally like tomorrow. Then we'll do, tomorrow, then. But you have diabetes almost. So I was going to have you do a sperm donation, but then I have, like, I do know so much about your health. And so I am sort of like, are the, is the diabetes, the pre-diabetes. It's pre-diabetes, but it's only because of M&Ms. Okay, because you are. And I cut out M&Ms, so I'm good. But she says if I give her children, then she'll give me townhouse, but only the basement of the townhouse. That you can do like fun, like uncle in the basement vibe. Like go see uncle. I can do deadbeat. Yeah, you can do deadbeat, which I think would be nice because in the one way, I wouldn't have to worry that you would be like too involved in kid life. Oh, you don't have to worry about that. But in the same way, do I want you a little bit reliable, but you won't be. That's where the issue comes in. Because I don't know if we can communicate to get on the same page of how involved I'm going to be. Because I did an egg freezing episode, so maybe we do sperm donation. Yeah, but what even is that? It's like you just go in a bathroom and just kind of crank one out. No, we do turkey baster. Oh, turkey baster. Yeah, we're not having sex. Okay. Yeah, I just want to be clear. I'm sorry. Can we cut this? Okay, but enough with the biography. We have to get into these freaking questions because I really got some juicy, juicy Dear Sugar Mamas that you are going to freak out on. Make sure that you send yours there. But the first one, I was like, okay, we need to talk about this for you because you're in your looks maxing era. Okay, so Dear Sugar Mama, I'm worried about my sister's finances. Recently, she started spending a ton of money on aesthetic procedures. First, it was Botox, then filler, then you know the rest of the story. Once you pop, you can't stop. Preach. I support her decision to prioritize her image, but I'm worried she's going into debt for this and I just want to shake her awake. I would think, the first thing you have to do is remind yourself that this is your sister's money and not yours. Your sister can do whatever she wants with the money. And also, what is the sister's job? If the sister has a front-facing job, if she wants to look good, that's fine. But I feel like if you're going so overboard and going into debt, and if the surgeries are bad, you need to say something. People don't talk about that. Like, if you have a good surgery and you spend money on it, that's fine. If you get surgery and you're overdoing it and it looks bad, I think you need to step in. It's actually so true. You need to calculate the ROI. Exactly. Like if someone's getting fully botched. Right. But you're speaking from your own perspective, too, because, of course, you have been looks maxing and you do have a front-facing job and you have been investing. Do you want to share your finances of your hair transplant? So I recently did my own little brush-up refresh and I got a hair transplant in Turkey, which was free through my job, thank goodness. So Pat works for Barstool and he did a segment for them called Baldstool. Baldstool. Baldstool. So this is season two of Baldstool where they take like 30 people from our company and fans and they send them all to Turkey. And they give us all procedures as part of like this massive ad deal. But if I were to pay for this on my own, I think it would have been around like $8,000 or $9,000 in Turkey. But if you got this done in, on, you know, the Upper East Side or in New Jersey, you're paying like $25,000, $30,000 for a good one. So I don't know if I would do this in the States because that's just a little too much money for me to spend. You also weren't like, it was not the sort of thing where anyone was like, oh, Pat is really bald. No, I'm getting ahead of it. Yeah, you told my mom it was preventative. It is preventative. But I think it takes on a completely different meaning if you're spending money on your looks. It's just what's important to you. Like if she's spending money and it's going to make her feel good and it's going to make her feel confident, do it. But don't go broke doing it. And I think most people also know the line, right? Like, you know, if you're going a little too far or if you've done too much, like I used to do Botox all the time, huge waste of money. And I had to stop because I became immune to it. But you also have a way of finding all of these procedures for free. Scam. Yeah. I'm a scam artist, first and foremost. Like if there is a med spa that like has some sort of Instagram presence, Pat will be DMing them. A hundred percent. Finding a way to get as many free. Maybe that's the advice we give her. Create a platform. Create a podcast. Build a social media following. Get it for free. That's the way to do it. Because you know what? There's two things that people love to give influencers for free. What are they? Botox. And teeth. And teeth. No, I was going to say energy drinks and teeth. Energy drinks. Teeth and Botox. Yeah. I think it's really hard when your family is spending money in a way that you don't agree with because you start your life sharing money with those people. And so it feels like personal to you and as though it's going to affect you. But actually like legally, if your sister gets into so much debt and like completely fucks her life up because she's like, you know, getting needled all the doodah day, it actually won't take you to the cleaners at all. So you're fine. It's more just like sisters do be judging. And I know sisters fully do be judging. And sisters also do be not wanting their sisters to be hot. Is that true? Yeah. Let's unpack this. Oh, I have two sisters. And I think that there's like so much competitiveness around looks like. But I think you hit the nail on the head with it. If your family, if you grew up and your family had never spent money on that kind of thing, like any sort of plastic surgery or looks maxing, if you will, then there's then there's judgment that comes with it from your family. So people aren't going to understand. And maybe it's a lot of money. Maybe what's a lot of money to them to spend on your on your face and body isn't a lot of money to you. So maybe they just don't understand. But I think at the end of the day, you just have to do what makes you happy as long as you're not getting in crazy debt. And I don't think you should get in debt at all for any sort of elective like surgery or procedure. OK, you're going on the record saying I'm going on the record. I think it's unavoidable to a degree, right? Like for certain people, you're going to have to go into a little bit of a debt. But I think you really have to be careful because it is a slippery slope. But I think that also we're focused so much on the fact that this is an aesthetic procedure, because I think that like we are obsessed with looks maxing as like a like we like it's like funny and like we always talking about it. It's hilarious. And, you know, thinking about it and dreaming about it, dreaming about it, even like considering what could be next. Almost obsessive. Yeah, one could say spending time on it. But at the end of the day, whether it was aesthetic procedure, or shopping or, you know, gambling, just anything that you are compulsive towards that feels in control of you financially versus you being in control of it, which is like what I think is so dangerous with aesthetic procedures because similar to gambling where it's always, oh, the next thing is going to win. Even if you get your teeth done, then you're thinking, oh, I want to get my eyes done. I need a blast. I need a, what if I got a little chin? Like it just keeps on rolling and rolling because you are always trying to hit this version of perfection. And so I think that it actually is something that could be really compulsive financially. And I do think that maybe she should talk to her sister, not from a place of jealousy, but from a place of maybe trying to help her get a little bit of support just because it is a slippery slope. I think if you want to do something to your body, you should a hundred percent be able to do it. But what if you can't afford it? If you can't afford it, then you have to wait until you can afford it. But I think you have to take the time to explain to people. People who are close to you, who are going to judge you, why you're doing it. He says it from personal experience. No, I do. Because when I got my hair done, my family was like, what the fuck are you doing? And I was like, it's, this is a nothing surgery. It's free. Let me get it. But I'm also getting my teeth done. And they're like, why do you need to have your teeth done? And I explained to them and they get it because people are going to judge, like no matter what people are going to judge, but if they don't understand, if you can at least help them understand, then that'll help them kind of like turn back their judgment a little bit or not, or they could be terrible and they could just continue to judge you. But also if you're going down the rabbit hole, getting more and more and more procedures, like for you, yeah, you did your hair, now you're doing teeth. If then in July, you're telling me what's after that, you're getting like calf implants or something. I might call Phyllis. You have to. Yes. Because I'm like, okay, I'm seeing a pattern here. But I don't, I think you need to have an exit plan because it is a little bit like, I got this hair done and I'm like, Ooh, okay. Like give me some teeth. Like give me some, you need to have an exit plan for the surge. So what's your exit plan? I think I'm done after teeth. Cause what else can I do? There you go. Well, I know what you're going to do. I'm fucked. I'm fucking perfect. It's like, what else can I do? This episode of Financial Tea is brought to you by Ancient and Brave. They have been an iconic and trusted wellness brand in the UK for years. 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Go to ancientandbrave.com slash planet and use code T for $10 off any purchase. That's ancientandbrave.com slash planet, code T for $10 off. My fiance comes from generational wealth. The dream. And his mom offered to. Pay for our entire wedding. And I mean entire. We're talking black tie, a venue I could never afford, florals that cost more than my first car, and a catering bill with no ceiling. Ooh, she'd go full pig. Amazing, right? Wrong. I wanted something intimate. She invited 200 of her closest friends. She has opinions on every vendor. Grow up, sister. Rewrote the timeline. And I'm not exaggerating. Her outfit is better than mine. Now I'm standing in the middle of a five-year-old. I'm not exaggerating. I'm not If I'm the bride or the event planner, do I shut up and smile or blow up a 500K party to have the day I actually want it? Shut up and smile. God forbid someone wants to pay for a half a million dollar wedding and you're jealous of your mother-in-law's dress, get over yourself. If you want it to be intimate, it can be intimate. Why don't you redistribute some of that $500,000? Seriously, if they have a half a million dollar budget and it's not. Money isn't being allocated to the things you want. You can reallocate it to other things. But I think that's so crazy to just get upset because your mother-in-law wants a big wedding. This is a nothing problem. I definitely agree. I don't think that she can reallocate any of the funzo because it seems like the mother-in-law is fully in control. But in the same way, I'm like, look, people romanticize their wedding day so much. But I think that actually the truth is, for most of my friends who got married, it was stressful. And so it's like the idea that this is going to be some really amazing, fun, relaxed, chill party. I'm like, no matter how you cut it, whether your mother-in-law's fucking it up or your mother's fucking it up or your cousin is or your brother or the groom is. I know a girl whose bachelorette party was this weekend. She's not talking to the groom. It's like there's always shit going down. So it's like there's. Stop thinking that this is the best day of your life. At the end of the day, it's like you're getting. No, stop thinking about this. Think of it as something you have to check off to get done. This shouldn't be fun. This should be memorable. This should be a task that you complete. No, I think she. You know what I think she has to do? She has to talk to her fiance. The fiance has to be the buffer to the mother-in-law. If you're not comfortable enough saying, hey, your mom, you're going overboard. Here's what I want. You have to talk to your fiance and your fiance has to talk to the mom and you have to figure out a way to make this work for both of you. No? Because I know people who have had nightmare in-law scenarios, but they've. Leaned on their partner to figure it out. I think that the wedding itself, she's lucky. This is your right. I'm sorry. Someone wants to plan your wedding for you and pay for the whole thing. But I shouldn't say nothing problem because it is a problem, right? No, I mean, I guess it's. I think that what the issue is, is that money gives people power over you. And so by agreeing to this, they're giving up some of their autonomy and this could lead to future moments with the mother-in-law. Like it could be a slippery slope where then it's, she says, oh, do you want a house? But the house is next door to hers and she's over every day. With money comes so much control. And so I think that it's less about, it's less about like, oh, poor her. The wedding sounds really hard or, but more just like, ooh, yeah, like this woman could be like trying to totally swim fan you. This is her way in. Yeah. I want to see the mom's dress so bad. So bad. I want to see the dress. I was recently looking for a wedding dress. I was looking for a wedding dress. I was recently looking for my friend's handle in Venmo. When I remembered that my other friend and I had dinner a few months ago, not a cheap one. And I put down my card, points hose rise, but I didn't Venmo request her at the time, but I texted her to tell me that she owed me. And she said that she'd Venmo me, but it never came. And I just remembered again after five months. Five months? What do I do? Statue of limitations is up. Five months. Like five months is crazy. It's crazy. And I going out to dinner as a group is tricky. And I think you're really good at this because Haley loves to get the points. So she'll be like credit card down, but you send an immediate Venmo, which I appreciate right away. And I think there's like a week window and especially if it's an expensive dinner where you have to send a Venmo out or you just treat them. But if you wait five months to send a Venmo, I mean, unless it's, you know, a thousand dollars or something crazy, then you're fucked. Because that shows that you don't, you don't care. Exactly. Because if you cared, you wouldn't be waiting five months to do it. A hundred percent. You said it perfectly. Or bring it up passive aggressively. And then like, just kind of let that fester. Or next time that you have dinner with them, be like, oh, you've got this, right. Cause like, you know, I got that, that other one. Play it coy. Yeah. Play it coy. Oh wait, do you have this one? I think you owe me from the last dinner. Exactly. Even though it's been eating you inside. Yes. Do you think that friends, when the other friend doesn't Venmo them, you do sort of feel like you're getting away with something? Yeah. A hundred percent. Yeah. Like it's not innocent when someone doesn't Venmo you, it's not because they forgot. And it's also like, it doesn't, people say it doesn't go through. Venmo always goes through. The most important thing to know about Venmo is that it's not FDIC insured. So people get really excited to have a big Venmo balance. Cause it sort of feels like you're getting away with murder. Oh, like secret cash, but that could disappear in a second. So always cash out your Venmo balance. Don't leave money there. Not to mention that you get no interest on that cash, but more importantly, it's not. It's not that safe. I think that's weird when people have a big Venmo balance. They love it. It's like, I can't, I have a couple thousand dollars in my Venmo. Why? Transfer it in. You freak. Sunscreen, snacks, a stapler. Shop, pay, manage your account and earn rewards all in one place. And with purchase protection on eligible items, biometric security and pass keys, you're protected at every step. Listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit at Indeed.com. dot com slash podcast. That's Indeed dot com slash podcast. and conditions apply. Need a hiring hero? I've been dating my boyfriend for a few months now, and it's amazing. Our relationship is palpably different, and it feels like the if-you-know-you-know thing I see all over the internet. He's funny, kind, and devoted, and a great communicator. Problem is, I have debt, and I haven't told him about it yet. He's very responsible, and I'm worried this will freak him out and make him think I'm not and ruin the relationship, which I guess is fair, but this is not a recurring theme in my life, and I don't want it to come between us or give him like a warped picture of me. But I also don't want to build the relationship on deceit. How do I tell him? You just got to rip the band-aid. You just got to tell him. I think if you think he's the one and he's all these great things, you just got to tell him. Communication and honesty is the key. A mama. I think that she's like in sort of an amazing position because it's only been a few months, and usually the money conversation comes up when you are at a crossroad with that person. You're moving in, or yeah. Getting a dog. Getting a dog, wedding, like whatever the thing is that then your finances are more intertwined. It makes you sit down and say, here's how much I make. Here's what you make here, you know? And so I think that she hasn't actually been that deceitful to him because it's, unless he straight up said, do you have debt? And she said, no, I don't. Which in that case is a red flag. Yeah, me on a first date, but like you're for sure red flag, for sure. So I think that like in that way, she's totally fine. But I also think that like, people have so much shame about debt, but really the system is set up for you to get into debt. And like, it shouldn't be something, if she normalized it a bit and made it less that she was so ashamed and like secretive about it, but more, okay, yeah, this happened. I had a low paying job, but I have this plan to figure it out. Like we all just want someone who's on their way to greatness. It's not about where you came from. Actually, the worst, your story was the cooler your story will be. So it's like. And that's, and that's, and that's on period. Yes, yes, yes, yes. So like, I feel like a lot of it also just comes down to the fact that like, a, she needs to rebrand her debt to being like. Rebrand the debt. How so? What do you mean? Like less, don't stigmatize it. Don't be like so emotional about it and just be dead ass with him. But like, not in the way where she's like apologetic. Like I have, you know, like it's same. I was just like, oh, like I have herpes. It's like, is it affecting her life on a daily basis? And is her debt getting in the way? No, she's not getting worse. But I'm saying, is her debt getting in the way of her relationship with this guy? Like, are they going out and all of a sudden, first of all, the guy should be paying anyway, but are they going out and she can't do certain things because his debt is in the back of her head? If no, then who cares? Just slowly chip away at it. And like you said, when you're at a crossroads, tell him. Okay. My bestie and I, both female 29 have been inseparable since college and describe each other as soulmates. Why don't you ever call me your soulmate, Pat? The one problem, our bank accounts are not soulmates. I got help from my parents early on, which set me up to save money while she was living paycheck to paycheck. And I work in an industry with much higher earning potential. It feels like this is the one thing we can't talk about, but I feel like it's starting to eat away at us. Money's everywhere. It's something we're silently negotiating every time we make a dinner reservation or plan a trip. I don't want her to resent me. What should I do? Can I bring this to our relationship together? I think, I do honesty. I think that we and Haley and I have never had the money conversation about anything, but I think I get emotional, but I think that there's a good, I think you just have to be honest with yourself about how you hang out with your friends and what you can spend. And you have to like, there are certain things that I do for you and there are certain things that you do for me. And I think as long as you appreciate the friend on a friend level, I think that's really all that matters. But her question was what she wants to find out with you. And I also think that like, for like, you can't look for things in someone, but also when it's all proportional, exactly. That's it. So it's like, like, like me spending a hundred dollars might feel really different than like my friend who doesn't make as much spending a hundred dollars. So I just want to spend a hundred dollars so that it's not a big issue for them, for them to feel it. But the thing is you recognize that. And I think that's what the person who has more money, I think where issues come in is sometimes people don't recognize. But you want to be 50, 50, but really you're not. Because then it builds resentment because then the person who has less money is like, well, what the fuck this person's worth a billion dollars. I'm struggling to get by here. Like this lady who's maybe paycheck to paycheck. And then that builds resentment and drives a wedge. Yeah. I got that too. Cause you don't ever want to be, feel like you're used. Right. Exactly. But in the same way, like it is so much more valuable. I think like money is less valuable to me than a good friend. Like, and like someone that like, I love hanging out with and like, is going to like make the vacation so fun. Like, it's like, okay, then like, I, like I do that. I go to Greece every summer with my friends and like, I always pay more because I don't want to plan the trip and I don't want to stay in a gross hotel and I make more than them. And so I'm like, okay, plan the trip. And, uh, I'll get the hotel, but like, you know, they pay a little bit, but like not as much, which is so generous. And I think, but it doesn't even, it's generous on, on them to like, then they know every good restaurant they were going to. They play on the beach every day. Like, it's like the shit that I don't want to deal with they're doing. So I'm saying that is what it, that that's how you should handle this. I think. And what's important to you is having things taken care of and you're like, fine, I'll spend with my friends and being with your friends because then you spending and giving extra money that makes them feel like, not that there would be resentment or anything, but that makes them feel like, oh, this is great. Like Haley is paying, you know, what she, considers her fair share and they're doing again. But I think people aren't comfortable doing that because I think you have to have a really solid friendship and a really good foundation in order to, from one perspective, not feel like you're getting used for your money. And on the other perspective, not feel like you're taking advantage or like being cheap. Does that make sense? Yeah. But if they're this close, they've been inseparable since college. Like it shouldn't be a big deal. Like the one who's making more money just needs to like, like prorate her shit. But how do you, but that's the thing. How do you prorate it? People need to just be more fucking funny with money. Like, it's like they like honesty and humor go hand in hand. So just call a spade a spade. Like, that's what I would say to my friend, be like, ew, I'm not staying at that nasty ass hotel. Like let's stay somewhere else instead. Here's the budge, like contribute what you can and like, we'll call it a day. You know what I mean? But you offer to, uh, you offer to take care of the difference, which I think is the, which is the huge difference. And I think people who are in a position to do that should do that more. A hundred percent. Unless you're willing to stay in like the worst hotel. No, no. But I actually think that strengthens a friendship. A hundred percent. More than anything. Yeah. A hundred percent. But also don't be like so nobu every time you go out. Like it's like, obviously you got to do like dumplings, like cook for them. Like whatever the vibe is, like, you know, you come over, I make you cheesy. This is my special recipe that we could do a special episode on my special pasta recipe that your pack can't get enough of. I've been eating this pasta that Haley's made for 15 years. It's never digested. It's still in my stomach. It's like when you chew, gum and the gum lasts in your stomach seven years. If you eat Haley's cheesy, cheesy, it's a 20 year, like life's shelf, shelf life in your stomach. One word, one word, wonder. It's a one word, one word, wonder, cheesy. Yeah. I think it all comes back to the strength of your friendship. Even, and you're doing so well now, but even when you were doing less well, and like, I was maybe could prop you up a little bit. It never felt like that at all. It was just always like, that's why it's worked. Okay. This one is so crazy. This girl said, uh, a few nights ago, I went through my boyfriend's phone. I was not prepared for what I got. I opened his chat GBT and it was filled with questions and negative details about me and why he feels uncertain and met in our relationship. Questioning if he loves me, if it's normal to lose attraction so quickly in a relationship, I feel so hurt and betrayed all over just typing this. So what do I do? Do I confront him? Just leave. I haven't been able to face him the past couple of days and I'm just totally frozen. I went through a boyfriend, ex-boyfriend's phone, and that's what ended our relationship. Although it was already on the outs and I did not like what I found. So I think you have to confront his ass, honestly, just fucking confront him. Otherwise, it's not like it's going to get out of your head. What questions was he asking? Is it normal to lose attraction so quickly in a relationship? Like, or being like, is it normal to not be in love after five months? No, I think all relationships, it's like honeymoon. Honeymoon, honeymoon. And then it dips and then it dips a little lower. And I think if you can make it through the lower dip, you come back up. If that makes sense. It's not, you're not always going to be riding high in a relationship. Yeah, but what do you do if you, that's hard because you broke the trust by doing the chat GBT. But also, I'm sorry if you looked at my chat GBT, I would go to jail. Like, that's like a really intimate relationship. Me and my bot, you're going to, you're going to go, you're going to look at my, talk with my bot. Like, that's a different vibe than like with anyone. Ain't no shit about me like no one else does. I think, yeah, I don't know. Like your chat GBT? I think it's kind of a red flag to ask chat GPT about a relationship, right? Isn't that a weird thing to do? I think a lot of people do. See, when I use it, I'm just like asking the most mundane questions I can find online. Okay, like what's the tire pressure on my, what should be on my motorcycle? It's like motorcycle vibes for you. I'm not like, or like, when is my hair going to be better? Or like, when is my knee going to be fixed? Or what should I look for when I'm getting new teeth? If I'm, I don't ask. I ask it personal questions, but I realize people use it as therapy. Yeah. But this is going to eat away at her no matter what. So you have to confront it. you just have to make up a good enough lie as to why you're in his phone i think she just wanted to go on chat gbt to look something up maybe like her phone was dead and she was trying to which never happens to anyone ever no one's phone dies and if it does it's an urgency yes like i'm finding a charger like that's not lasting no like it's like it's not like we're just like oh it's dead like that's the level of oh the message didn't come through yes it did so then maybe she just is straight up because then if he it's like when you find out someone's cheating right is it when then they say how'd you find out it's like babe that's not the problem like the problem the issue here is not that i found out you're cheating it's that you're cheating right so the problem is not that i went on chat gbt yeah i'm a little crazy whatever the problem is that you were asking a robot about our relationship and it wasn't good stuff it seems like you have a lot of doubts if you're gonna ask that question and you come at him like that know your relationship's over because it's already on the rocks if he's actually judging gbt so if you come at him and you're like what's going on and you're like what's going on and you're like what's going on and you what were you like fuck it i'm out you gotta be i think maybe you ignore it ride the low wave of the relationship that is such a hot take you ignore it you think that you could be in a relationship where you found out that a guy was asking they are saying oh i don't know if i want to fuck pat anymore he's gross i don't love pat pat and i don't love pat no like i'm pat and i aren't compatible like then you just go to dinner with him the next day hey sweetie this was really fun you are an icon a legend i think that this might have to be a repeating segment because no one i'm hoping that you come back and do more um more dear sugar mama with us i would love to obviously we couldn't do an actual interview because you refused to be open about your finances so i just wanted to sort of preface that with this i did try to have pat come in like tell us about barstool like tell us about all this like money stuff and like that was just hit with an absolute no and so this is the tricky like when you work for a company and like you go on a show and they're like hey what the fuck why are you revealing this um but when i get fired which will eventually happen then i'll talk all about it i don't know if it hasn't happened by now i think i might be good yeah i think you're good i think you're good fingers crossed okay obsessed with you everyone has to listen out and about it's literally my favorite podcast it comes out every wednesday it's so freaking funny pat you're truly you have the gift of gab you're the howard stern of our generation so lucky that you're here um and how much do you make you're the howard stern of our generation so lucky that you're here um and how much do you make i tell it on out and about this week 5 a.m it drops oh do you yeah wait you're giving that oh i'm gonna get so upset okay stay rich on any journey using uber it helps to know you're getting into the right car pin verification adds an extra step to make sure your ride is your ride before the trip begins your app gives you a unique pin just tell it to your driver and they'll enter it in their app before the ride can start hey what's your pin 2538 that way you know you're in the right car taking the right trip and your driver knows you're the right passenger make sure your ride is your ride with pin verification from uber one more way uber is putting safety at every turn learn more on the uber app