Lizzo

Welcome welcome welcome to our expert. I'm Dan Shepherd. I'm joined by a minicom house. Hello. Hello today We have it's always an honor to have someone that's a one-name Artist that's true. We call that up. You got to be pretty good to be a one-name artist. I think that's called a mononim a mononim That would make sense today's mononim is Lizzo a four-time Grammy award-winning Emmy award-winning Superstar singer songwriter rapper and actor her albums are cuz I love you Special bitch and her new book, which is adorable. Um, out tomorrow Call a little Lizzo meet Sasha B. Fluteon This was great. Wonderful cute little children's book. It really is about her love affair with Sasha B. Fluteon. Yeah It's lovely and Lizzo. What a party really fun. Yeah buckle up. Please enjoy Lizzo , I'm gonna dance with you for years. Yeah, this is a Wish I had more coffee Because then I would have really we can rain check it. I would have brought the move over stands. I see You're what is that cream top? Oh, that's coffee. We're came aren't No, I think in Mexico. They do the fun. Get comfortable. It's a really good coffee shop. Maru Okay, I never had it, but it's very good. Did you guys wouldn't you guys get this? I got like 40 minutes ago So it's melted so it's I didn't know high maintenance like I was not prepared. I thought we were both from Detroit. I'm a diva. Okay From Detroit and in fact, I know we both lived there at the same time Really yeah, because I grew up in the suburbs, but soon as I graduated high school I moved downtown and you were there cuz you were a little child. Oh, I was a child when you were downtown. Yeah I'm a hundred years older than what part of Detroit. Did you live in? I was the East side I grew up till I was about nine and then I moved to Houston. So my memory of Detroit is more so like family But I lived off a Chandler Park drive. I don't know if you know about that. I know the east side Do you have any memories of like going down a Detroit River on for the July? We will go to our plaza. Bel isle. That's where it's at. We would do bellow bald-up park Okay, and we would go sledding and then it was horses after that. Did you do a family reunion on bellow? Because that's the move. Yeah, and did you wear matching shirts? We actually do have Kirkwood family Shirts and we would play volleyball and baseball. Yes. Do you ever go down that insane slide that you go in the fucking potato sack and get cut? Wow. Oh, no, so you really you're really What up, though? And bellow is the most life-affirming half-square mile in America. What is it apart? So it's a little island in the Detroit River. It was a public park and it was pretty good size and you would go on Friday nights and cruise or On Saturday and Sunday its family reunion time. Oh, that's okay Yeah, and then you got the matching shirts So as you're driving by all the barbecues. It's like orange green yellow Yeah, yeah, and then in the winter they would water down the trees and so it would be like a ice tree and we would like play And I had the most wild imagination. I imagine there was like a family of polar bears in this tree And I would slide in and I would be sitting at like ice tables. It's a real memory. I have yeah I just remember it was like one of those big pine trees and it was just frozen solid and we would just run and slide and play That's so fun on ice. I don't think kids today play with Yeah, they have a video game where you slide under a frozen tree. I have a best friend that was a willow tree in Detroit Okay, off the Chandler Park and Bishop. There was this giant willow tree and it was my best friend And I was sit in the willow tree and talk to the willow tree and I would use the leaves of the willow tree Well, I was a kid. I didn't know no better. I would pluck them off and use them as a tail And I would pretend I was tails from Sonic and And then one day they drew a line across the tree and I was like what does this mean and my mom told me She was like they're gonna cut it down and I was like why and they're like it's blocking They told us that it was like a hazard and robbers were like hiding underneath it So the city couldn't find them in the helicopter. Oh my Detroit got in city So I was like no, I'm not gonna let them do this So I was gonna stand in front of the tree and be like if you're gonna cut this tree down you have to cut me down Oh, my mom was like you can do that but first you gotta go to school honey No, I know what happened next. I would For weeks. I was inconsolable. That was my best and only for a living tree Are you able to read the giving tree without getting hysterical fun fact that book is about me Okay, I'm gonna make a prediction Okay, I guarantee I know that there was one night of the year that you were not allowed to go outside after dark And that's October 30th. Yeah, devil. So crazy. I remember that's not a thing anywhere No, I but growing up there you think everyone in the country's got bevels night and then yeah when I moved out here I've never met anyone that's my new Texas is an open-carry state. So I was like surely They'll be driving around shooting events in the air or not so we're thirty torching things, but absolutely not But also I was a kid in Detroit. So Halloween even was a little dicey because it was like Oh, that was when I was putting razor blades in the chocolate. Oh, which by the way, is that true? No, it's not true It's an urban legend. I learned this in a class at UCLA. There's never been a razor blade in a piece of candy ever The only time there's ever been poison or something naughty in candy is a parent putting it in the candy of their own child My child, but there's never been a stranger. There's just doling out poisonous or razor blade candy So how did this happen? Because I feel like back in a day before like social media there were just commonly known urban legends That was our social media. But that just means that social media is it's something deeper. It's something real We had an expert on on these at one point. There is a math to them There's something about the details are sticky so like they went through like 10 that almost everyone had It's like there's this famous one about a girl who goes on spring break and she meets a boy She has sex with him unprotected. And then when she's gonna fly home He gives her a present and he says don't open the present until you're on the airplane Do you know the punchline of this one is this ring about she gets on the airplane? She unwraps the box and inside is a miniature coffin and when she opens it up There's a piece of paper that says welcome to the wonderful world of aids I think maybe because y'all were super little during the height of the aids thing But when I was in high school coming up on spring break that was being circulated my school like listen This happened to a girl two years ago on spring break in Cancun So don't fuck around and the expert was like it's these details the little coffin that stay with you I mean, it's stranger date. It's like there to protect you I guess but it's all made up. Did you know the one about the needles in the chairs in the movie theater? Yeah, and I still look. Yeah, because you just never know what could be in there. I agree Why are you so with you on this now? What about the myth about okay now I don't know if this is a myth, but our public toilet seats Can you catch something anything any type of illness or sickness or disease from a public toilet if you're a married man And you mysteriously end up with HPV. Yes It was made up by married folks to explain why they got a STD somewhere They were saying there's a lot you can get herpes from a hot tub. Wait, so you can't no you can't not gonna get it Well, you're gonna rub the inside of your vagina on the seat you think your butt cheeks are gonna pick up So most of these STDs die when they're airborne STDs, but what about like um you can get some fecal matter on your butt cheeks Yeah, but that's not it is right Yeah, but again, you're gonna have to explain how it gets from your butt cheek. Then you move it somehow internally I don't think it's right in if they've experienced this. Well, it's gonna be a married person This is true people get in the hot tub naked. Yeah, and then it can and then they have sex the heat kills it But again, it's in 102 degree chlorinated water good point now the other one that I was most fascinated by and by the way Had I never transferred schools. This would have never occurred to me, but I went to an elementary then a junior high Then transfer districts to another junior high and then went to a different high school out of a different district Right and every one of these schools had the exact same three rumors about the kids they didn't like So there was the girl who got hot dog stuck in Irvigina. Yep, I know You know that one have that the boy who got his dick caught in the pop bottle or a vacuum and I would go to these school And they'd be like you know Brad got it. No, there was a kid Trevor in my old school. They said that about there's no way both kids did this We don't know because you kind of believe the hot dog one about the girl in your school She was a friend of a friend I went to like a black country kind of high school. So after like our stuff was like there was a girl giving blow jobs in the NX bathroom and there's a long line. But I don't know if that's like an urban legend or like, "No, that probably happened." - That definitely happened. - Yeah. - We had a girl under the bleachers. - You know, I'm more powered to her, but yeah, she's okay. - I really hope she's okay. Oh my God, Jesus, when you think about like being in high school, when I was in high school, I really thought I was grown. I really thought I knew everything. But now I think about high schoolers, fuck, I think about 20 girls, I'm like, they're babies. - I know. - They don't know anything. - You don't protect the babies? - Yeah. - Oh no, the girl who gave a blow job under the bleachers in my middle school was in sixth grade. - Jesus. - And it felt fine. It literally was like, "Oh, it's happening. You are doing stuff." And now I'm like, that's Delta's age. That makes me want to die. - Yeah, don't bring her into it, but yeah. - No, why don't you start doing like, wait. - Yo, same, fifth and sixth grade. And I was like, "Oh, like you think back now." And you're like, "Oh my God, my heart." - I knew it was for babies. - Yeah. - A couple different girls left my eighth grade 'cause they were pregnant. - Oh. - I had sex in the middle school. - Oh, you was like, "I just saw a shade of your eyes." - You sucky, you sucky, you sucky. - No, I'm gonna slut shame you. - Well, I'll not know your eyes will turn to you. You go, "Oh, what?" - There's also, "What are we talking about?" - I thought it was a show, that's just so bad. - The show's called Urban Legends, but I'm gonna combine it in dad's effort. You should have listened before you came. - A hundred, honey. - Okay, so what did mom and dad do on Detroit? - They had multiple businesses. The most prominent business where I was born, I knew was a credit card business. So they sold credit cards. My parents had always owned businesses together as long as I've known them. Before I was born, they probably had jobs and stuff and work for people, but they've never worked for anyone since I was a kid and I have memories of passing out flyers to this credit card company on the weekends and putting them underneath car windshield wipers and making it fun with my brother and sister, like a race. I couldn't get rid of their flyers first. So yeah, that's what they did. They're very collaborative. - Were the siblings older or younger? - Older, I'm the baby. I'm the mature baby, tall, sister short, the oldest is the runt, you know, the little one. - It's upside down. - So why did they move to Houston when you were nine? - I always say for the mortgage business. - Okay, the mortgage business. - Was there some heat on everyone? - Listen, you know what it's like. You have to evacuate Detroit. - You don't believe Detroit casually. - You have to like flee. And I remember one day I was like in Detroit and then the next day I was in Houston. My mom was like, "Hey, we're gonna move to Houston." I was like, "No." And then I blinked and we were there. So it happened damn near overnight. Not a lot of heads up. - That's what I'm asking was maybe there's some heat. Maybe we're these credit cards, some of them, or maybe a little. - No, I don't think credit cards were. But I'll say my dad was a very infamous person. You either loved him or you wanted to kill him. - Okay, okay. - Big personality. - Yes, Libra. - Okay. - Yeah. - What does that mean Monica? - Well, big personality. - Big personality. - Good at lying. - Charming. - Good at lying. - Yeah. - You might be a rising. - Yeah. - Well, let's look. - He might be. - It gives that, or maybe a little Pisces or Aries a little bit rising. - That's my rising. - Oh, nice. - Yeah. - Okay. - Scary. - But I have a double Virgo otherwise. So I'm good. - Oh great, yeah. - You know what I love about you guys who like astrology. - You guys. - You no matter what. - You all like astrology and believe in it. - That type. - No matter what it is, you guys are equally pumped. That's what's neat about it. It's like there's no strata of what's good and bad. It's just like, you're a Pisces. Oh great. Oh, you're a Capricorn. Ooh. - Because it's good to know. I think you can tell who really is into the charting of it all and who's just like early horoscopes kind of into astrology because they'll be like, oh, oh. That's because you have a very basic understanding of the signs, but all the signs are great because we're made up of all of them. We're made up of the stars. You know, it's really that. And I think we really nerd out because we like, I'm speaking for you, but I like Sailor Moon. It's an anime. - I thought it was one of y'all's gurus who knows a lot about the chart. - I'm not sure. - Doesn't it sound like an astrologist's name? - Sailor Moon. - Sailor Moon. - That is a fire name for astrology. - Yeah, Sailor Moon, like as an astrology account. - I think he should take it. - If Nile could take a Gucci, will let me have the name Sailor Moon. - I'm not gonna come after you on Instagram. - VP is locked in. That IP is barbie deep. - They probably already own the handle on Instagram. - The Sailor Moon handle's taken. - It's taken. - We have a note about where we're feel pretty confident in this taking. - Master Sailor Moon. There's something there though. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - There's something there. - Wait, I know all your things. So you had, you had Cornwall click. - Oh, you know my music thing, Scotch. - Yeah, where girl always three hours. - Girl. - Girl, three hours though. I spelt it a lot today. So I'm like, is it two hours or four hours? - I use this for a lot now, it's very. - So, what is this Sailor Moon? Sailor Moon girl. - Girl. - Sailor with three hours. - Oh, get the f**k out of here. - You guys now call on it. - And wait. - We have a lot of witnesses. - I-L-O-R-R, M-O-O-O, we can try it. - Yeah, I think that's a little heavy handed, yeah. - And then it's like Sailor Moon dresses a cow. And actually, I was going to be Sailor Moon for Halloween. I was going to be a cow dressed to Sailor Moon. - That's gross. - That is fantastic. - That is fantastic. - Here, we'll leave here today with something. It'll work here while. - Thank you so much. - Yeah. - Okay, so you land down in Houston, and do you remember that being a overwhelming transition? Or did you take to it? Of course, I've read Little Lizzo and Sasha B. Fluton. - Yeah. - So, I know that version of the story, but what was your overall? Did you feel fish out of water? - Yes, I think that it was a culture shock because I was like, I don't want to see horses in the road instead of cars. And I know I was very dramatic. And I did see horses and was like, oh shit, like hey, so that was big. But also, my entire family is in Detroit. And my church was my whole family. Like, versus in Houston, there are mega churches where it's just a congregation of the people from the city. Also, by the way, the pastor is flying on a helicopter, coming down, preaching, getting back in the helicopter flying to his other mega church. - So, he can spread the word quicker? - Exactly. But our church, the main room was the size of this. - Was there music in that church? - Yes, the choir of my cousins and aunties, the band of my cousins, the pastor is my uncle. It's all my family. - It scares me. I say this all the time. I'm not religious. And in fact, religion scares me a bit. But I do fear it's decline because like, yeah, we just had Anderson pack on it. He learned to play drums at the church. - Yes. - And all those kids in the decline of that, like, where are they gonna get the music education, scares me a little bit. - That's what I'm worried about too. I don't even think there can be another Whitney Houston or anyone close to her because church is so formative. You're born with the gift, of course. But in church, you kind of learn how to release your inhibitions. There's something about catching the spirit and there's something about a Holy Ghost and there's something about church music that allows you to express yourself in an unhibited way. And that's what Whitney brought to secular stages. She brought the church to the club. - You're also already in community, which is already a heightened state. And then you add on music, which also is a heightened state, and it kind of can reach a level that otherwise it can be. - And everyone's rooting for you in the church. Like, no one's at church, like. - There's no haters at church. - Oh, that's bad. - Because it's not like, - Not about somebody calling me. - Oh, you can answer it. - No, it's my driveway. - Can we peep this case real quick? - Oh yeah. - It's real quick. - Speaking of sailor moon? - No, I didn't know why your person's so big and now I do. 'Cause what other person would that phone fit in? - Wow. - This is from Sailor Moon. It's her crescent wands, so she's like, - You really are in there. - You really are in there. - Make up. And then the powers come out of it and she turns into Sailor Moon. Yeah, but I also hate touching phones. It burns my fingertips. I'm sorry, it's a little side note about me. - I'm sensitive. - I'm sensitive, kids. - We were talking about something. - Church. - Church. - People are rooting for you. Because it's not about that, it's about God. So we're singing for God. We're using our talents and our gifts for God. And I think that's the difference. - There's a humility in it. - Yes, because when you think about pop music and in the pop space, most singers are singing for the coin. They're singing for the check. They're singing for the glory, the club, the approval because they have to. But when you see a person who was anointed and who was singing for a higher purpose, it just hits differently. I don't see it anymore. It's declining at a rapid rate. - So when he was doing what church had you end up at, one of the megas? - We ended up at a megas? - Uh-huh. Did the pastor ever have a scandal while you were there? 'Cause what did they also like to do with the private jets is they also like to get in a little trouble in the sheets. It seems pretty awful. - You know, I went to a few churches. I'm not gonna name names 'cause we don't want, but I went to a few megas, but I will name one I went to Lakewood for a while. I remember when Pastor Joel's father had passed away 'cause he was the head of Lakewood. And I remember when he passed away, there was a huge billboard. It was like, "We're gonna miss you." And then Joel begrudgingly took over. - Olsen. - Yes, he was like the young cool PK. - Oh my God. - But I remember he took over and it just started going crazy. - You bought the Charlotte Hornet stadium, right? That's Joel Olsen. - Well, he bought the arena that I know about. - Yeah, this dude owns arenas. - Yeah. And then moved the church into that arena and I was like, "Oh, hey, big ball." And now I was driving by him on a highway. I said, "Let me see what it's all about." And I checked it out. So I did a lot of church hopping. But my family, I think they were very turned off. Our first year there, we went to church and it was a mega church. And it was New Year's Eve. Actually, I remember we went to church. And, you know, we pray into the New Year. There was a lot of. issues. I feel like my family was very uncomfortable. But it's a weird story. There was a huge power outage at midnight and everything shut down. And my dad was like a very superstitious kind of person. And he had already been feeling weird. And when that happened, he was like, I don't want to do this anymore. Like that was a sign that we shouldn't be going to these churches. So my family stopped going to church when I was very young all together. I'm the only one who continued to pursue church and congregation. And eventually with my best friend, I found a church was very small. And we would go together. And it was so small that like, we would have to move locations. He would rent out buildings. And sometimes they wouldn't make rent. So we would move to another building. But wherever we were, we would always come together. It would be the same congregation. We would sing and we would play. And it was very, very grassroots. And I loved it because I was hanging out with my best friends on the weekend. But I also loved it because it gave me a place to be sacred. I crave that. Yeah. I think it's important. And so how did you do with the other kids in the school? You said they were country. Were you in a rural area? Maybe I was in the SWAT. I was in the Southwest A leaf Texas, which is Southwest of Houston. So this is Houston and the H as we like to say. And then there's the North Side, South Side, West Side, Katie. And then there's East Side, which we don't really go over there because that's basically Louisiana. And I was down here in the SWAT. Okay. So it's all the greater Houston area. But we was in the SWAT down here. Mind you, 30 years prior, it was all cows in that area. Okay. So there's still fields down highway six. There's just fields. Oh, plantations. Yeah. I'm a prison. Yeah. Yeah. Planned to do. Yes, exactly. Very much that. And so when we moved into our neighborhood, we were the second house. I remember when the neighborhood was being built, and our house was being kind of put up, it was all grass. And then it developed really quickly. And it became real country urban. The culture moved very quickly. My sister ordered me. We went to same high school. Elsa was very kind of artsy. By the time I got there, it was the trap for four years for it to be the trap. It was fun though. I love high school. Middle school is where it was rough. You was out here cracking and shit. That was my funny enough. Monica's born 87. You were born in 88, 427, 88. And that is my peak year of my entire life. And I've had a charmed life. But seventh grade is the best year of my whole life. It went all downhill in high school. What happened in high school? Okay. So in eighth grade, I was 511, 160. In ninth grade, I was 63, 150. So I lost 10 pounds, grew four inches. This nose came in, but this all didn't come in. So it's just a huge nose terrible hairdo. My brother had me get a perm. And it was long and bad with a perm up top, huge nose, acne, rake figure. It just was a bummer. Brand new school. What's wrong with being tall? It's okay if you're tall unless you're 150 and 63. That's not enough weight on that frame. You feel me? Yeah, I was real bean pulley. Also, they were calling you bean pole and shit. Well, I fought. So they were fighting them. Yeah, I fought. Yeah, man. Body shaming goes both ways. Nobody likes what they got period. Yeah, but also if somebody's mean enough, they'll find a way to make fun of you. Oh, of course. If you wouldn't talk to about my nose, I was devastated, right? Or my ass. Or I remember it was my shoes. They would be like, oh, slouchy shoes, your shoes slouch. I'm like, yeah, it also that means nothing. What does that mean? What's a slouchy shoe? I don't even know. I'll have wide feet. So my shoes would kind of slouch on the side. And it's like, back in, I, you don't even know, I used to bind my feet. I found out like Cambodian women like, bind their feet in middle squats, binding my feet with tape. So that my shoes went slouch. So my air forces was they crispy on the side because if I had a little slouch on the edge of my air forces, somebody would see it and it'd be the end of the world. You're binding for width. Those gals were binding for length generally. Yeah. Okay. I think they're binding all around. They're trying to have the tiniest. Yeah. Oh, they had, you've seen those X-rays. It's a hood. Fuck my feet. Oh, of course. I had what's the call in her own toenail. Oh, okay. I don't have no art. Actually, I'm realized that's probably why heels hurt so bad now. No, I think they hurt everyone. Yeah. Trying to not be slouchy girl. But middle school was, I think the worst, you know, in Detroit, black people, we have what's called the Detroit proper. So if you talk to my cousins, it's like, well, how y'all doing today? How's everybody doing? God bless you. Ain't me. Ain't me. But in Houston, everyone's very country. And if you don't talk very country and you talk proper, you talk white. So I was getting the white girl. I liked anime. I wasn't wearing my hair like the other girls. Cambodian feet. Yeah. Yeah. And you talking about Cambodian feet. Oh, my goodness. My interests were just different. Yeah. Japanese interests. Yeah. And this before liking anime was cool because now liking anime is just so standard. Yeah. Thank you for. Well, well made it cool. But like before that, it was like, why do you like that weird stuff? I didn't conform. I didn't shave my legs because my mom and my sister, they don't shave their legs. So I didn't learn how to shave my legs. And I still to this day don't really need to shave my legs. But the girls were like, your legs are hairy. Why don't you shave your legs? You're weird. And I'm like, why are y'all just finding anything to say about me? So most of my bullying was middle school. That was the brunt of it. But it was also the height of my delusion. So I didn't really notice because I was in a fantasy world. Yes. Me too. Like I couldn't find my clothes after gym one day. And I was like, hmm, my clothes just disappeared. No, girl, they took your clothes and threw it on top of the locker. So you wouldn't find it. So you'd be walking around the gym clothes all day. Okay. So you were saved by your obliviousness. A oblivious, that's the word. Because I'm oblivious to this day. I can't pick up on certain signals. I'd be like, wow, how did that get past me? That can be a blessing. Yeah, it might be. It can save you a lot of pain. It might be learned. It might not be something you just are. Your brain might be protecting you. You might also call it dissociation. Stay tuned for more armchair expert. If you dare, we are supported by all state checking all state first could save you hundreds on car insurance, not checking whether someone is actually waving at you before waving back. You saw the wave. You went big. And then they walked right past you to greet the person behind you. Yeah. Checking first is an excellent plan. So check all state first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with all state potential savings. Very subject to terms, conditions, and availability all state North American insurance company and affiliates North Brook Illinois. I will raise my hand in class. And I raised my hand a lot to the point where like the teacher would ignore me. I was only going to raise my hand. And I remember at one point when I would raise my hand in class, there you go. Damn. And everyone will start laughing. I was like, oh, they're laughing with me. Like I think anyone was making fun of me. I kept raising my hand. So I did have a little bit of obliviousness with the teasing. But when I look back on it, I was like, oh, no, it was really coming for me. On the other end of the spectrum, there was the very obvious like somebody called me fat ass every day. You know, it's like, what's up fat ass? I had teachers kind of make fun of me too because I have really sweaty hair, y'all. Well, Houston's a beat down humidity. And I was sometimes at the walk to school in humidity because I wasn't far. My brother and sister, my sister has very, very long curly, mind you, this is a weave, but really long curly Alicia Keys like hair, right? So she would always just wake up winter hair and scrunch it in some moves. My brother very same. So he would just scrunch it with some moves. I'm the last baby. So they would tell me to scrunch my hair with some moves. It did not look like that. My hair is way more coarse, way more fine, way more kinky. I got like an actual afro. So I would wake up in the morning, wet my hair and scrunch it with some moves and look, a hot ass mess. And I would put my hair in these little uncomed wet ass ponytails and I would go to school and be like, this is so embarrassing and I'm putting myself all the way out there. It was not mad at it. Okay. But it would mildew. Okay, sure. Because I was sweating my hair and it was humid at school and my hair was wet all day in the bun. Oh, no, it was in a bun. Yeah, she had the key. It wasn't itchy, but it was just a wet ass mildew. Yes, bun. It was a wow. Wet ass bun. Yeah, bro, you got that. From the top making dry. But I had to like learn real quick in middle school, like my hair is not like my brother and sisters. My hair's not like my mother and father's. My mom had really long hair touching her butt. My dad had a ponytail, Riko Swabe. We did. I'm the only one with an afro. So I'm like, I have to learn how to jazz it up. And I did. I got my first weave the last day of eighth grade. And I remember I was walking through and it was the last day of middle school because we were going to all the high school. And they were like, oh, Melissa. Oh, Melissa, like everybody was gagged. I remember I had this little chocolate brown weave that I glued in myself and my mom helped me glue it and flipped out the ends like this. I had a little fair of foster and I was like, yes. And it was very sandy in Greece. Like, yes. And they were like, wow, she's actually pretty. Wow. She actually looks nice when she does her hair. And so I took that energy and went from Melissa to Lizzo. And so it's a big reset for high school. Yes. You were shaving your legs. You had your hair right? Yes. She's one of my likes for no reason. By the way, just to fit in. Just to fit in. And we stopped buying in our feet. And we started getting wider shoes. I think I switched from air forces to what's the one the strap? The Reebok Adidas? No, no, no, what's the one that feel us? Oh, feel us. 'Cause I had a little rounder situation. I was like, I'm in the philus. Like y'all don't know about this. You don't know nothing about this. I love it. You were bringing it back to run DMC. Exactly. That's what they wore. Philus. Is that what they wore? They were my adidas. They did have my. Yeah, I see. You're wrong. Look at you. No, hold on. They switched to philus. Anyways, in the factory. We'll do that for the factory. Yeah, we'll do it for the factory. Okay. So you start playing the flute at 10 years old. Yeah. Fifth grade. When you play all the way through to. College. You go to college. But even before that at 14, you formed the corn row click. Corn row click. How many of you three? There was four of us. Okay. And you were rapping. I was rapping. So flute and rap happened simultaneously. Flute first, rap second. And then you went to University of Houston. Go kooks. Go kooks. To major in music, performance, and flute. Okay. And you did what? Three years there? I did about one and a half years before I chickened out. It didn't correlate with your father dying. Yes. They were very close together, though. Yeah. No, same time. Okay. Same time. Yeah. That would explain it. But it was like, I dropped out and then he passed around the same time. It was like a year before he passed. I dropped out. And what. Can I ask what he died of? That's a great question. I don't know. How old was he? I think he was like 53. Yeah. Like when I think about it now, I'm like, oh my god. Oh, yeah. That's in five seconds. He had had strokes. Hypertension. Yeah. Yeah. Hypertension. He had congestive heart failure. But like was always trying to like manage that. And honestly, he was like doing better and I was actually shocked. So it was quite sudden. You didn't have any sense that was coming. And were you guys close? Mm-hmm. I would consider myself a daddy's girl. You dedicated the book to him. I did. He told me that I was going to be a great flute player before I even. Thought I would be a great one. He was like super into the flute. And mind you, this is somebody who was very strict on his kids because he wanted us all to be very successful. My brother, he was like, you have to do football. My brother's like 65, like in high school and he was like, no, you're going to play football in my sister. He's like, you're going to do this. And they kind of rebelled. My sister, my brother, wanted to do more arts. My brother. He can draw. He's like super talented and my sister is extremely talented in music and arts and they wanted to do that. And I wanted to do this flute thing which is music and arts and I was like, sure he wasn't going to fuck with it. But he was like, no, this is great. Do this. Do this. Do this. And am I wrong real quick? I can name like seven great jazz saxophone players. I can probably name like eight great trumpet players, even Clarenette. I can't think of a real famous flutus, right? You know, black people, we don't say Chris Martin, we say co-play. So he would always say, you got to be like Jethro Tau. Okay. But I didn't realize. I thought his name was Jethro Tau. He's just a band. Yeah, that's common now. His name is Ian Anderson, but my dad would always be like, you're going to be like Jethro Tau. So yeah, I think that was a big part of it because there was a huge gap for what I provided. Oh, I just realized why you're saying Jethro Tau, a heavy flute in Jethro Tau. Ian Anderson. He's the flute player. Yeah. And my dad would be like, you're going to be like Jethro Tau, I thought that was a black man because Jethro is a black athlete. Yeah, especially down in Houston. So I said, oh, Jethro, I'm going to be like Jethro and I'm like, so I will always say that I just got a book of Ian Anderson flute solos and I'm like, oh, that's his name. Oh, wow. It's great. But like that was our only kind of contemporary flute person at the start that we knew of because everything else, there was the classical side that I was super into like Sir James Galway is my hero. So there was that side. But you think about Yo Yo Ma, besides Sir James, where is the Yo Yo Ma of flute now? Or you're going on late night shows and shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Flutist. Is it floutist, flutist, flutist? Yo, my whole life, I grew up, it was floutist. Yeah. Literally, recently, I'm telling you right after college, it was like, it's actually flutist. I think that's a Mandela effect. I think it switched from floutist to flutist. Yeah. Because I remember us being like, no, no, it's floutist, correcting people. Yeah. And that was flutist. Okay. So floutist floutist flutist. Hello. Floutist sounds better. It sounds more fancy. I'm going to say I'm a floutist. Like floutist floutist. Yeah. Like, share some DNA with floutist. There's a little magic. But if I'm around, if I was in a group of flute players, I would say flutist. Because I would be afraid to be looked down upon. Sure. Okay. Well, they need to look up to you. But yes, but then talking to the lay person, you might say floutist. Yeah. A muggle. Yeah. A muggle like a non-music reading individual. Yeah. Well, the Harry Potter punch through everything. God, it got me. They got everyone in it. It's universal. What happened? Oh, just my reference. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's very y'all's age. You love Harry Potter. It had no borders. Someone asked me recently, why do you like Harry Potter so much? But it was such a young person asking a millennial. And I was like, oh, my God. This is like a moniker of what our generation, what was your answer? Because it's to me quite obvious. Oh, he did ask me because we went to the Harry Potter at Universal Studios. We were eating the Harry Potter food. And I was like, well, because I read the books. And I was like, and I was present when the movies were coming out. And it was like a really big deal. And he was like, so when did the books come out? And he was looking up the year. And I was like, don't look up the year. Because he wasn't born yet. Oh, my God. He was like 1997. Oh, my God. I was like, don't look at that. Or was my kid say the 1900s? No, literally. I was like, no. It was like 2005. Like, that's one of the last books. Yeah. I was in line for the last book. I was also in line. At the Barnes and Noble. Yes. But you have to get in line. But I think part of it is because our generation, we were their age. Yes. Give or take a couple of years, but the main characters were our age. So we were growing up with them. Growing up with them. Yeah. Y'all, the reason it was so successful is the same reason that you love Goodwill Hunting. Any story about someone who's normal in average and finds out they're incredibly special is the most wishful film in the story. Not even normal. They're downtrodden. Right? It's like, he's getting shit on by that terrible family he lives with. And then you find out, no, I am special. I kind of had a hunch. I was special. And we all feel that way. We all think, like, I think I'm special. Why doesn't anyone see it? So this book is about someone seeing how special you are. And then getting to go with the other special folks. And we also want to find our tribe. So it's like, it's also, I feel like every story has that assistant or relic story. But I don't think it, you know, I think you could go. It's the magic. But that's just the fun stuff, but the real human stuff is like, hey, I'm really special. Why doesn't anyone see that? Like, if you want a successful children's story, start with child who doesn't feel special, give them purpose, makes them feel special and then add your own magic to it. I think that's the true story of childhood and growing up. Yeah. And by the way, we all deserve to feel special and be seen and special, but it doesn't happen. And the more relatable your hero is, the more you can see yourself in it. And that's why I wrote Liliz O'Misa should be floating. Yes. Even the kids we thought didn't feel that way to felt that way. Yeah. You know, even the kids that were in the cool click, there were four kids cooler than them. And they couldn't figure out why it was, you know, it's kind of a universal human. We all just think everyone knows what's going on feels like they've got it figured out. But no one does those kids, like the cool kids who are fortunate to be cool and feel special at that age. I think eventually though, they have to learn how to find their special, that's not external validation. Exactly. And oh, because you're so hot or because you're just so effortlessly cool, you're just the guy. They have to figure that out later in life. I was a nerd. So I didn't have that at the reverse, but yeah, I think that can be harder in some ways when you've lived a whole life with other people telling you something and then you're like, who am I? Yes. Okay. So back to college. Was there a specific thing that had you leave? Yeah, pressure. College was wow. When you are a music major, you got to wake up at the ass crack of dawn and you're actually extremely independent. You wake up at the ass crack and you all have like a big recital that you have to complete midterm and at the end of the year. And so every day you have to log hours in the rehearsal room, which is this scary little room by yourself because there's all these rehearsal rooms, but they're pretty thick because they're like phone booths. Yeah, because you don't want to bleed the sound everyone's rehearsing. So I'm in this room in this old-ass building, which I know was haunted. I hate ISO booths now. When I record music, like I don't go into the booth, like I record in the control room with everyone else with a microphone. You like PTSD? Yeah. Because when I go in those rooms, I'm like, so I'm just realizing that's what that's from. You weren't even pumped about the size of this room. Too small. You're coming in. I'm cool. You like a big space. No, she said the church was this size. Okay. Okay, okay. It wasn't a pejority. It's not the size. He said it. When you guys done with it, I think you've done a great job. The hidden cameras are nice. Yeah. Meta ain't got nothing on y'all. Yes. Anyways, you're waking up. You're hitting the marching band field at like seven in the morning. It's one band, one sound. Then you break and then you have to go and you got to find a practice room. You got to log hours. You got to rehearse, rehearse, rehearse. Then you have to go to like regular fucking school and that's the part that really pissed me off. I felt like I was in fame and I was like, I'm waking up and I'm doing music. This is the thing. I'm an independent woman. And then you have to like go to math in English and I'm like, why don't I do it again? Yeah. I did this for 18 years. You needed to go to a conservatory. Yeah. That was the plan. After the U of H, I was going to go to the Paris Conservatory because that's all I wanted to do. And I was kind of getting exhausted of that because then it was like, of course, the conservatory was great. But then I'm also a jazzy black girl. with friends who I went to college with close friends. And so there was parties and I was wrapping with them and I was in a rap crew the nightlife and then waking up at seven in the morning. And it was like wanting to be in a sorority and then waking up at seven in the morning. I felt like I was getting pulled and I was really, really stressed out about it. It was really stressful to me. That was like one of the hardest times in my life. I feel like I just kind of gave up. - And then so you had the shame of quitting probably, right? - Yeah, you did regrett about that or not? - No. - Good. - Well worked out, it worked out. But I bet for a year it didn't feel like. - For a few years. - I just gave away my one shot at making a living at the end. - Yes, for a few years, because if I had had any other kind of degree, if I was pursuing like a doctor or nurse seeing or teaching, maybe to this day I'd have regrets 'cause I'm like, it'd be nice to have that. But I was pursuing music performance and flute and now I'm performing the music and flute. So I really honestly think I deserve my doctorate. - Yeah, yeah. - I'm sure if you get this speech, I'll give it to you. - I played with the National Symphony Orchestra last month. - Have they not invited you to give a commencement speech? - I would love to do that. - University of Houston, get your shit together. - Yeah. - Uh, duh, get her down there. - Ruck face. - Honoree, doctorate. - Give her a doctorate. - Okay. - Why Minneapolis? Like if I'm you and I'm thinking about moving somewhere to pursue music, I guess I'm probably thinking L.A. New York Atlanta. - Hello. - Outside of prints, why are we going to Minneapolis? - Which I wasn't even aware of. I didn't know he lived there. It's a really funny story. I was in the indie side of things. So I wasn't on the industry. Like if I wanted to be an industry girl, maybe I would have moved to New York or L.A. but I was in a rock band at that time. And I had been going back and forth with this producer, via Zoom and I was like writing with him and he lived in Denver. And I was still in this rock band. And I was like, man, working with this guy is pretty cool. And he was like, hey, I'm going to move to Minneapolis. And he was like, you want to come with me and be in my band. I was like Minneapolis. I didn't really think anything of Minneapolis back then as far as like music, 'cause I was in my own Houston bubble. I went to South by Southwest that year, which is a music festival in Austin, Texas. And every fucking person I met was from Minneapolis. - Oh really? - Every band that performed, every rapper, I was worried from them, they were like Minneapolis. And I would like link up with them and we'd run around and party and have like the best time and they were like, boofing vodka up their ass and like, eating Molly off the floor. - Oh my god. - I was just crazy kind. I was like sleeping in my car and then they all like slept in the car with me 'cause that was the only, but we didn't have a hotel room. I was like, these people are fun. And I was like, you know what I will move to Minneapolis 'cause I had already made a bunch of friends at this festival. And I was like, I'll just link up with them when I get to the Twin Cities. And I did. And I still had my hesitation. And then I played a show there. And it was like our first show. Oh my god, the varsity club. We played the varsity club. Anyone who knows Minneapolis knows. And I remember I performed. And afterwards someone came up to me, it was a girl. And I remember she was like, do you live here? And I was like, no. And she was like, you need to live here. We need someone like you. - Oh wow. - And I was like, easy. - Wow. - She was like, okay. - And I was like, you don't gotta tell me twice. - I was like, wow, I felt so appreciated and loved in that community. But you know, they love on their artists. They love on their local artists. They have such a rich local music scene, especially when I was there. I felt like there was something in the lake water, man. There was rhyme sayers. So there was atmosphere and doom tree. And you could sell out every venue in the city, which is local acts all in one night. And we would like bike and run over to the different venue. I don't know what it is about the Twin Cities, but it's not just the music scene. It's the restaurant culture too. The mom and pop shops, the family owned restaurants. There's so much love and support in that way. - It's kind of, it seems like it's kinder than some of these other big cities. - Yeah, and it's got like a Portland kind of feel where like they really just give into community. I think it's super, super community based. There's nothing like it. - So you got big there. - Yes. - You got big. Like you had songs that were so confused by that. - That were big there and they wrote about you there. And you kind of were a queen there. I feel like that's a great place to learn how to do all this. - I felt very appreciated. I also feel like I wasn't anomaly because I was this black girl raised in Kojik church who could freestyle rap like a Houstonian or like Mike Jones. And I was up in the Twin Cities just this anomaly of a person. But I could also jam in rock bands and I played the flute. And they were just like, who the fuck are you? Like you're so weird. And I wasn't like 12 bands. You know, I played flute with my friend who was a rapper. I was in this noise band. I was in two girl groups. I was in an electro pop band. I was in so many band jobs. And I would pop up on stage and collaborate with the other rappers. I was doing anything for free. - How did you end up recording with Prince? - I was on my second girl group. That was fun. Those were the days. But our group was featured in a documentary that was on NPR, the current. And they were highlighting girl groups. And so it was us. And then Prince also had a girl group. Third eye girl. And so we were all in this documentary. And then I remember we got a call from the radio station. It was just like, hey, somebody wants to work with you. We were like, who? The rest was history. - So Prince is using the radio station to book his stuff. - That's how we found us. By the way, the current is an incredible station. It's the NPR station there. And just be loving it. When you heard your song on the current for the first time, it was a big deal. Like we would pull up and we were all in the car together and the first time they played our song, we turned the volume up and we were like screaming. - It's like being on morning becomes eclectic back in the day. - What is that? - That was the L.A. NPR morning becomes eclectic. The Garden State soundtrack was the current running soundtrack of morning becomes eclectic when that movie came out. - And the guy who would curate all those songs has now done a lot of music supervision and shows and movies. 'Cause he says impeccable taste. And it was where you would go discover the coolest new bands that would become these huge bands. So I'm imagining it's the same thing as the current. - Way. - You're knowing it now? - Hold on. Your Garden State, am I tripping? - No, but people think I am. - No, but I am. - I literally, that was so natural. - I literally almost passed out. - No, my doppelganger is Zach Braff. - I am not Zach Braff. - I was sitting my brain was sitting with him. - Yeah, you started getting scared. - I was like, no, I got the wrong guy. - Podcast, have I been on this entire time? - No, this is great. - This happens all the, like-- - He gets asked to take pictures all the time as me and vice versa and we just do it. - And those names have this-- - Zach, Zach, Zach, yeah. - Zach Braff, yeah. - Yeah, white boys with big noses. - Braff, Zach, yeah. - That just really fucked me up. - You zoned Zodad again. - You zoned out. - Zoned Zodad again. - Anyways, if you've seen Scrubs, let's change subjects. If you've seen Scrubs, look at that. She's really fucking cute. - Yeah, that's a good one. - Zach Braff. - Okay. - I'm parenthood and without a paddle. - She's punked. - I know you are. But for a second, I thought I didn't. I said, oh shit, that was confusing. - No, you fucked me over. - You fucked me up. - Incentially. - All right. - Rewind. - That was wonderful. - You did a good job. - You asked, you didn't say like, oh yeah, I love your movie. - Oh yeah, I can't cap in my rap. - Right. - But if you rewatch this tape, you will see-- - No, the look on your face was very genuine. - Yeah. - You got really scared about time space. You were like, where am I in the universe right now? - I think you will move down. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - Holy shit. - Okay. - That's really hard. - Anyway, we're back, those Scrubs. I don't know, check it out. It's a new season. Yeah, we brought it back. - Stop. - Okay, 2013, first solo album, Lizzo Bangers. This is the one that got really big in Minneapolis, in particular, right? - Yes, I was able to sell out first avenue and the song "Batches and Cookies," that one was getting played on like BBC Radio. - This whole Minneapolis chapter is really fucking cool, 'cause I don't know if you went to New York, if you had gotten all this encouragement and like started fortifying your confidence, or if you'd gone to LA, if you'd gone to Atlanta, like, I think there's a special accident that happened that you go to sell it by, you end up there, and then you're loved there, and you kind of learn to be loved. You got to learn to be loved, no? - You do have to learn to be loved, and I also felt like, I never felt like I really belonged anywhere fully as an artist, because when I was in my rap cruise, I was still writing pop music, and then I also was listening to rock. And then when I was in my rock band, I still wanted to shake ass and freestyle rap, and then gospel music don't let you do none of that. - Yeah. - And flute really don't let you do none of that. - Yeah. - And then I got to Minneapolis, and for some of my reason, all of it was okay. Prince is the fingerprint of the city, and Prince is doing crazy guitar solos on an R&B song. In the '80s, he's going to a Bob Seeker concert and going, "Why is that guy in arenas?" Oh, he does bail, it's, I'm gonna do bail, he's a neat, you know, malgam of all these things. And so I think the vibe is like very embracing of something that's a little left to center or up on guard. So there's like a beautiful place for you to learn to do this. - Well, like, weird was okay. - Yeah, right, right. - And I was like, "Oh my God, it's okay to be weird." I would say that all the time. I just feel like Minneapolis, the people there are so supportive of black people. I just felt loved and appreciated for who I wasn't, I wasn't called, white girl. I was actually the blackest person in the room with that. (laughs) Well, you kind of country, like me? - Yeah. - This white girl? - Yeah, I'm country, I'm hood. - Oh, wow, that's the first for me. That's the first for Elmo. So, but yeah, I loved my time. It was magical. At that time when you were kind of a big thing in Minneapolis, did you ever think like, yeah, this is good. Like, this would be enough. - Absolutely. - Yeah. - Oh my God. Like, you made it. - Making it, I hate to be that person is like, you know, not actually making it. I hate those people, but I have to be very clear about when you're a big deal in Minneapolis, it's not cloudy or fame like. Literally, it's like, oh, I could play this show and I can pay my bills really well. I can tour and make money and I can give money to my mom. I can help my people out and if my people need to come stay with me, they can come stay with me and I can eat wherever I want in the nicest restaurants in Minneapolis. - No, that's it. Boom, you did it. - I can fly wherever I want on a nice flight. You're a nice virgin first class sometimes. It was really that. - Do you have a nice car then? Do you care about cars? - Hold on, give me a second. - I did not drive for a long time. How the fuck did I get around? - Yeah, yeah. - How the fuck did I get around him any after? They have buses or a train? - I can't believe. I'm sitting back and realizing, I don't know how I got around because I stopped driving because I had a little-- - My license? - My license was not DUI. - Okay, sorry. That's a very common reason to lose your license. - So I never know DUI, nothing like that. But you know, she was the HPD they liked to fuck with me. And my license was basically hot for like a decade. My license got unhot when I moved to LA finally. I say, can we figure this out? - Yeah, like let me hire a lawyer to figure this out. - Yeah. - So I go to the DMV, I'm scared to go to DMV. I don't know if that's an experience for you all, but I have a fear that if I go to the DMV, I'm going to get arrested and put into prison 'cause I know that can happen to people. That's how you get got. Or they'll be like, hey, everything's fine. You mind just stepping out of the vehicle for a second? Everything's fine. - Yeah, yeah. - Fucking, yeah. - So anyway, shit was hot for a while. So boom, right? I'm like, okay, finally I have enough money to pay off for whatever this weird thing is. Why I can't get my license was holding my license up. I pay it off. My shit's still hot. I was like, chest out. Why do I finally get a license? I walk up to the beach and she's like, oh no, sorry. You can't get one. My job's scared. I'm like, I think it'll go out of the house. - Why do you have Marshalls? - They're like, no, you just can't. So there were two Melissa Jefferson's. - Oh. - Two? The driver's licenses out there with my face and my name and they both had a record. - Oh my God. - Somebody got your ID and started having a good time on the highway. - To this day? Don't know. - What's what? - It's him. - It was me. - I was like, here was three times, I had to do something. - Oh my God, imagine the gas. - Oh my God. - So I finally paid that one off. And now I can drive. So I did not have a car. I did not drive in Minneapolis. I rode in the back of people's cars. You know what Minneapolis? I love you so much. I rode in the back seat of people's cars. I slept on people's couches. I slept on people's floors and futons and guest rooms. I ate meals that y'all cooked. I ate free poutine for playing shows, drank free beer for playing shows. That city really did take care of me. - Paps, Blue Ribbon. - PBR. - Pugin North. - PBR. - That's right. - I think it's just big. - Yeah, when you're driving, I've driven a motorcycle cross the northern part of the country. And when you're going through Wisconsin, people can have a bar in their house. Like the liquor license is very weird. And everyone has a Paps Blue Ribbon sign hanging off the porch. - Yeah, they love that shit. - And in Minnesota, we get a bit of that too. - You do get a little bit of PBR up. - Yeah, yeah. - And then there's Takate down south. Takate, Lone Star. Beer, right? - Beer. - Beer's like a wall. - I don't think people fucking will be here no more. - And this out there still, they're going to breweries and stuff. I was just there. - You was at a brewery. - I'm about to say something wrong with people who are breweries, but I don't want to judge. I don't mean to judge, but you don't need a judge. It's like why do you want to taste nasty after nasty after nasty? - I don't like beer, but my friends still like it. Who are there? - I carbonated piss. - It doesn't taste good. - We're having our first dust up 'cause you're wrong. Beer's delicious. It's been with us for millennia. - He does have a beer come. - So that shit, like, I'm like, there's two things I've been around for a long time. - That's a fair. - I'm sorry. - That's a good car. - I'm sorry. - I'm sorry. - But beer's delicious is a crazy statement. - Oh, guy. - Beer's never been delicious. The only time beer's delicious is a crispy, a concrunchity blue moon, which is orange juice. - I do like blue moon. - Okay, so I guess you do like it. - With orange juice. You got to sweeten it up a little bit. - Orange slice also fights? - I will squeeze the orange peel and then dump it apart. - But you don't actually need tropical cana dumped in there. You just want the orange slice. - But I need that orange flavor. - You want a little citrus pop? - I can do that. I can do a little citrus pop a little sweetness. - Sure, sure, sure. - Sweetness. Well, they call it a Colorado mimosa. - Oh, that's what it is. - Oh, nice. - And you'll fuck with that. - I'll fuck with that. - Yeah, okay, good. I want to talk about some important. - Okay, okay, come on. - So in 2014, in the wake of Lizzo Bangerz, which was like very well reviewed and you're kind of really getting some traction and some momentum, you do this interview for style like use what's underneath. - Yes, yeah. - And in this interview, while talking about your body, you start taking your clothes off, which then leads to my skin. And I do wonder, when you look back on your life, don't you think of some of these decisions that kind of came out of nowhere? Literally put you on a trajectory, and then you wonder like, wow, if I hadn't done that magazine, maybe I end up there, but how much longer or how much later would it have been? - I have a very auspicious life. I think Taurus is due though. I think we are like the forest gump of the zodiac. - Okay. - But like, I think about all these things, because I just taught a self-love class on Twitch. And somebody asked me, how did you learn all this shit about self-love? And I was like, my heart was broken in a million pieces. And I just started desperately clinging to books and crystals and candles and prayer. And then I discovered self-love in my desperation to love people without conditions. And then I started writing all these songs about self-love. And now I'm the self-love guru, and now I'm teaching the self-love class on Twitch. It was like this weird full circle thing, where like when I go back to 2016, clutching a fucking rose quartz and a black termeline in my apartment as about as big as this space. I love using this space as a reference. - I don't know if it's a reference or reference. - It's a reference. I would have never imagined the life that I have now, or needing that moment to have the life that I have now. It felt so impassing or not important. Just like the style like you, when I got that interview, I didn't even realize, I was under-prepared for the interview 'cause I didn't know what it was. That's when I was just doing press and I was just doing shit. I was like, I was rolling up hungover to things, not in like a dark kind of way, but with party a lot. And I'll be like, what are we doing today? What are we talking about today? And they're like, you know, you have to remove articles of clothing. And I was like, I don't have that many pieces of clothing on to remove. - That's part of the interview. - Okay. - That's my wig. Yes, part of the interview. So it's called What's Underneath. So you're slowly taking things off of the ask you questions. So a lot of people come with layers of one. - Yeah. - The people that know where they're going come in layers. - Not me. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I literally had to take my wig off because I had nothing else to take off. - I'm boring you with these Anderson pack stories, but another Anderson pack thing that's crazy is he thought of the idea of I want to play Tiny Desk. - You want to fuck Anderson pack? - It's so bad. - He really does. - Dude, I think he is Prince. I think he's our Prince. - No, he's fire. - He is unreal. That's smile. - I know. - A million light. - It's toxic. - Yeah. He can't not smile. He said he can't get his teeth in his mouth. - Really? - He is a permanent smile. - I know, right? - 'Cause you know, you can trick yourself into being happy. - Yes, yes, yes. - And he's done it. But he had the idea of I want to do Tiny Desk and then he got fucked up and he woke up in New York and he's hung over. He doesn't want to go and he tries to get out of it and they basically force him to do it. And as you know, that's the biggest Tiny Desk ever. And then to find him, people are like, "Oh, he plays the drums and it's crazy." - Crazy. - So yeah, it's that same weird thing. It's like you almost missed it. - My Tiny Desk is also very underrated. - Okay. - No, anyone listening, just go watch my-- - University of Houston, get her to do the commencement speech. Go watch Tiny Desk, watch scrubs, new season out now. - There's a new season for real? - For real, they relaunched it and it's actually-- - That's very good. - Yeah. (laughs) (upbeat music) - Stay tuned for more armchair expert. If you dare. (upbeat music) - Why isn't Big Girl Small World Unspodifier Apple? - Damn. - I was trying to listen to that today and I couldn't find it. - Every time I get alive, somebody go, "I want to listen to humanize, I want to listen to humanize." Humanize is a music video that's the one line that's from that album. So you can listen to that. It's very Bjork. Well, me trying to be Bjork. If you want to know the unsexy answer. - Yeah. - Oh my god, this is, I'm, who fucking cares? It's over and I already won the Grammys. So to be eligible for the Grammys, I had to take down previous works. - Oh. - Why? - Because best new artists. - Best new. - You could only have a certain amount of submissions or whatever, or not even submissions, but bodies of workout. 'Cause I never submitted for the Grammys before that, but bodies of work. And I had so many bodies of workout that they were counting them as albums. Or I don't even know if it was albums, it's like songs out in the world. So I had to take down a shit ton of songs to be eligible for best new artists. - If you then put them back up, they would take it back. - I didn't even win it. - Oh, okay. - I'm good. - Okay. - You know, I think Billie Eilish won, actually, which much deserved. 'Cause I had been out for like a thousand years. But I said all that to say, I changed the rules. 'Cause now the Grammys came out and said, "Hey, now you can have X amount, it doesn't matter." You have to only have a certain amount of like, well-known pieces to be eligible for best new artists. So that's why Apple gave me the rule breaker award because that's not the only rule I broke songs That came out three years ago Never went number one on the billboard charts like that just was unheard of I was telling Monica that good as hell No, it's truth hurts. Oh truth hurts. Good as hell as well. That had been out for a minute that came out in And I said to Monica, can you imagine having good as hell and for a couple years you're like I don't know why isn't this fucking song and then it comes out on another album and all of a sudden it is fucking But mine was the leader later. It was like top ten really hurts number one billboard. Yeah What is it like to have those songs that you must feel in your soul are worthy of that later confirm But in the period before it's confirmed are you going like well, yeah, I don't know what else to do Well, here's the gag. Well first off one thing about me. I don't care if I flop Or have the biggest song in the world I'm a songwriter and a performer so I'm always gonna be okay There's more where that comes from. I'm like, I'll write one. I got something in me And I do think that there's a sort of scarcity Mindset what a lot of people because they're given songs and when you're not hot anymore and you flop They won't give you the hot songs anymore. So you're in trouble But because I'm a songwriter and all these songs I wrote myself I know that All I have to do is keep going and being myself You know so back then when that happened I wasn't thinking like why isn't this number one? Why isn't I was like once at the next I was honestly first off I thought where the hell my phone was gonna change my life when I wrote where the hell my phone When you think get a hold of my ego, okay, everyone pay attention. Keep me in check You know, we're all that we go into the big Nothing happened to this day with that song. Yeah, you know, good as hell truth hurts I love them. I believed in them. I thought they were incredible But I'd never known any greater success than they had hit so I just kept moving They were all step-ups anyways. Yeah, truth hurts was devastating for a lot of reasons So truth hurts was devastating cuz I was like yo this song is actually really good I love this video and I felt like a lot of people went dark on me who was supposed to support me at that time And it kind of broke me down and I was like oh, I quit music and then they were like hey, don't do that And I was like all right, I'm just gonna make music and just talk to my fans and not worry about nobody else Not worry about no Grammy's no number one. It's nothing bigger than what I got I think that's actually incredibly good advice for anyone that's artistic to hear I had two different people that helped me one time I had written a sketch while I was doing sketch comedy at the Grandlings and then I saw almost the identical sketch on sorry and live and some of the folks that were at the show were writers on sorry Why and so I got all spun out, you know, I'm living in a fucking one bedroom apartment I've not made any money as a size of this room It's a big deal to me and I remember talking to someone kind of higher up than me at the Groundlings and saying like to talk fuck and this person said if you think that's the only great sketch You're gonna write then you should go get a lawyer and so if you think you are an endless well of great sketches Then keep it moving and I heard that somehow I don't know how I'm pretty pull headed, but I heard that and yeah, I think it's just like if you're an artist just keep fucking Be a volcano man. Yeah, and now you look at the biggest artists in the world are people who have been out for a long time Putting out music consistently for years and not getting the appreciation they deserve and then all of a sudden one day Just pop in the fuck off. Yeah, you know, thank you to the internet. Thank you to Tiktok. Thank you to the fans who like consume it So just keep fucking going use it. Oh my god. I use so much emotion. I use anger I can't wait to hear the song that comes out of this interview. I'm so sorry. Oh my god. All the anger I thought he was Zach brass Doc's Zach the tension between those Zach the song should be called Zach's That's the phone the axe the axe And Zach it's not a lot of the nose. It's it's a clunky. It's more clunky. No, no, there's no I didn't do it. You signed in 16 to Atlanta. Good as hell comes out 2019 you're in ugly dolls and you're in hustlers. Also first movie you're in makes $160 million. It's crazy. It doesn't happen anybody Wait, really? Yeah, I made 160 million. It was a big movie. You know guys. I never really Pay attention because it's not your thing. You weren't setting up to me now if your life was acting you would damn I didn't really appreciate the music shit either bro like I was performing at the AMA's and stuff and I was just kind of Breezing through everything because of this obliviousness or as a self-protection It might be a combination of both. I really didn't smell the roses a lot. I just started Appreciating and smelling the roses lately, but for the most part. I'm like I had all that going for me I realized you feel like you missed it. I did miss that because that Particular part of my career is never going to happen again. Right the discovery and the rise Yeah, that's never going to happen again Yeah, and it's scarier to be the person who's already famous and built in because there's one way to go People want to bring you down Yeah, I survived that part. Yeah, it's Phoenix time and then once you're Phoenix, you're good Okay, yeah, you gotta you gotta take you take the big beat down and then if you Phoenix it then you're kind of Impenetrable. Oh, but I now feel like a mama bear for other artists I see when they like start blowing up. I'm like, oh my gosh. It's coming They make it at the peak of that once you start Touring in 2022 was special. You've hosted SNL now It's like you're really at that peak kind of everyone in the world is singing to you dancing you watching you on TV Didn't even really really down to you really. I mean, that's what was happening You know, but I know that's too much. You're not a god. I'm comfy. I want to know how you do on those tours that are really really long Of course we lots of doc love the doc. Do you get lonely? They're their waves? Are you happy than you're sad? I don't I describe this being on stage In front of 20,000 people who came to see you who love you very intensely who got babysitters to see you I know. Oh my god. They don't even get me started on that part like the sacrifices. Yeah, you know But the energy that they're giving you imagine every person you love All in one room screaming and affirming you and It is the most incredible feeling and then you're not up there doing something you don't like I'm up there singing songs that make me feel good and I love my music. Yeah, so we're doing this together And it's this incredible high and there's these lights and then you go and you sit after words There's a massive come down just chemically. I think there's why so many performers are addicts because The only way to sustain that moment on stage once you're alone back in your room is it get fucked up? Yeah I'm not calling you an addict, but I'm saying I think that's why so many I mean, I probably had an addiction to food or something Okay, you're gonna have something you regulate Yeah, and then I would just get very moody and like sad until it was time to get back on stage again And then it was awesome, but I love touring like I love performing and now I'm a way more balanced person that touring for that long You're kind of raggedy like I was pretty raggedy. I know it looks so glamorous being Glittery and diamondy and made up on singing songs. It's just the wear and tear of travel anybody who goes on vacation knows that when you're done at vacation Even though you had a ball you got a recover From the vacation because it's travel is taxing on the human body So you're in the planes you in the trains you in the automobiles you in the buses time changes you going faster than the human body should go Way too often why I'm going this fast and a pressure fucking tube in the sky and then you're in the next city and then you're Ah every fiber in your body you give to people and back then We was doing a radio promo because I don't think they really do that post-COVID I don't think meet and greets and all of that but it's like radio station meet and greets You got your real life meet and greets of your fans who came to the show you got your soundcheck parties You have your press you have your promo post show you got to talk to the suits and the ties. Yeah, you got sponsors so much interaction and energy and talking and connecting. I'm really good at that. I love that shit But the human body only has so much. Yeah, and so I'd be really tired But I would feel like I'm not allowed to admit that I'm tired I'm in a very privileged position. Well, you feel you'll be ungrateful if you acknowledge that Which is the great crime and sin of people who aren't eternally grateful if they've made it. Yeah, which is not possible for a human to feel eternally grateful the human version of me is like Oh, I need a day off. You need a day off from your dream job. Exactly No one's gonna feel bad that you're tired on a world tour. I didn't even feel bad for myself It's get yourself together. Yeah, right Get up girl get up. Yeah So after that height there was a valley and I'm not attempting to relocate or get into any the reasons there's a valley, but I've certainly been in valleys, but I've never been on a mountain as high as yours before I was in the valley as low as that And so what emotionally was happening there and how did you regulate during that period when you're going going going going going going going on a super high and also I wasn't even really perceiving how famous I had gotten I feel like a regular girl in the Twin Cities, walk into the bar, gonna get some cheese curds in a beer. I still feel like that girl. But the whole world is like everything I did was news. I had been going full throttle. It was like clothing line. It was like TV show, tour, album actually really doing well. Like, oh my god. I didn't even know how well that album was doing. I wasn't paying attention. I was just doing, you know, making my little TikToks. I had always planned to just like stop. My last show was in Japan on that tour. I had never been to Japan. I've been waiting to go to Japan my whole life. You know, Sailor Moon. Yeah. And I was not about to spend some time here. And I wasn't going to tour. I was gonna take time to work on the next album. I had really planned to just like stop. But I also stopped while the world stopped fucking with me. And it was really weird because it was just like. Yeah. And I was like, whoa, this feels like my life is over. Yeah. Okay, now, quick question here, because when I've had these things, some part of me goes, yep, I knew it, but she was gonna drop. It's too good to be true. I didn't deserve it. I've had that fear my whole life about everything. And I don't know why it's a common thing with people who are successful. We are always looking over our shoulder because I know with me personally, it started when we were in Detroit, and then Detroit got taken away from my family, got taken away from me, church got taken away from me. And then after that, my dad died when I was 19, taken away. By the way, every time something kind of good's going. Yeah. Right, like you just found your shit in high school, you're in college. It's taken away. It's taken away. And so with the fame thing and the success and the public perception being super positive and being overly loved and people understanding me, I wasn't looking over my shoulder for a shoot of drop 'cause I really genuinely was moving so purely. I really, which they say you shouldn't do, just really showed the whole world my heart. Yeah, you let your guard down. There was no guard ever, no type deal. Like I came into this thing myself and I was like honored myself and I was just bumbling around as myself unabashedly. So when everybody started hating me, I kind of didn't understand and I think anyone in this position, 'cause it happens to a lot of artists. Like I happens to every artist. And especially now, you look up and it's like, "Uh oh, now everyone hates them, what happened?" Yeah. We never expect that's gonna happen us. You remember when there was a fight in high school and like you'd see a huge crowd of kids running to go watch the fight? Did that happen in Houston? That was like where I grew up constantly. Like you'd be at your locker and all of a sudden the big mob was going, "Oh shit, bro, "oh someone's gonna get their ass kicked." They fired. The inner of that to me is that it's like the pile and you can see the big mob coming. You're like, "Oh, I gotta get a piece of this." I had experienced little waves of it, but this time after my tour ended, it was like legitimate. So I really did feel like my life was over because music had been my life and I didn't feel like anyone wanted me to make music anymore. I only signed to a major label so I could help people. 'Cause I was cool being an indie artist. But then I was like, "But I'm making music "that makes people feel better about themselves "and seek love for themselves." Especially girls, especially black girls, especially big girls. Yeah. Folks that deserve by champions. Trans people, people who felt other, so I was like, "I'll sign to Atlantic "because if that means y'all will get my music out to more people, "I think of my music as medicine." So I was like, "Oh wow, should I cease to exist?" - You're right. - It was really heavy, it was really heavy. And I think you have to go to a very, very, very, very low place to be able to kind of float back up to the top. I had to stop making everything external about me. Everything that was happening outside. I was like, "That don't got nothing to do with me anymore." Like who am I? Who's in my real life? - Who do I see day to day? - Let me tell you something. It was nobody for a while. - But can I ask this? Here's what I've been guilty of. At moments that we've had great success, that has been something I can lean on when I'm doing some other shit. Like for me it was, I had a relapse, right? And it was like, "Oh, this isn't good." We know this isn't good. We know that me using is not good. I'm not an idiot. But then I go, man, this other thing's going so good. I'm just gonna think about this. Like I had something to lean on that was pretty powerful for me. And I think if in the wake of me also collapsing on that, and then also I don't even have the thing I had been leaning on, we're at a very lonely, scary spot. Like I don't even have the crutch now of success. - Oh my God, yes, I know exactly what you mean. I can't even really articulate it, but I understand what you're saying. - Yeah, it's like just keeping myself above water 'cause I know I have this thing that's really quite special and good. But by God, if you took that from me at that moment, I don't know. Like again, I don't know if I can exist at that moment 'cause it's all I'm using to keep myself afloat. - You know, what I came to is like knowing who you are and not like what you do. And I feel like I had been identifying myself as what I do for so long instead of remembering who I am because that's my job. And everyone in the world might not actually know me. Like I thought they did. - Yeah. - Oh, wait a minute, there's almost no false. It's like realizing, oh, this thing I thought was real is actually kind of false. - Yeah. - In some ways that's freeing, isn't it, a little bit? - It was extremely freeing. - Yeah. - 'Cause I'm like, oh, only I know me. Only I know who I am. And I need to remember that and not allow someone to change that because I can do that too. I can allow someone to make me feel bad even though I didn't, I used to get emotionally manipulated a lot. Actually, to this day, I kind of still, 'cause I'm so like sweet and understanding and forgiving. - Yeah. - Yeah. - You're taking advantage. - Oh my, oh my god. Yes, I need protectors around me. And so now I feel like I have all these protective people. - And when I be right to guess, you're not great at boundaries. (laughs) - No, but now I am. - Yeah, yeah. - You know what's so crazy? It's like when you're a famous person, the more famous you become, the more boundaries you have, the more people look at you like you're a bad person. It's like, hey, that's fucked up. But I'm like, but I have to protect myself. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - You know, so I was always like, no, you have access to me. Everyone has access to me. I will never be that famous person. And then no one can talk to you. And no one can get in like, no, no, I know I. - There's only so much of you. - Yes, yeah, I know I have to save some for you. - Yeah. So I learned that as well. - Did you come to that on your owner? Did you have therapy? Did you have help? - I did have therapy. I've had the same therapist since like 2017. - That's kind of helpful, 'cause she got to see the whole-- - Oh yeah, the whole enchilada. - I'm like, actually, we're like trauma bonded now, 'cause you've seen it all sister. You're not going anywhere. But like, I have that. And honestly, I'm not gonna hold y'all like, I was talking out loud to myself, into God. But I would just be like, one day things have to be better. One day things have to be better. One day I'm gonna wake up in a reality where I don't feel like shit, where I am happy. And I was saying these things. And then one day after the next, you look up and you're like, oh, I don't have to say this anymore because I'm here. - Yeah. - It was a lot of self-work. And a lot of self-awareness you kind of have to have. It's like, hey, you know you shouldn't do that. Or you shouldn't give this person access to you in that way. Or you shouldn't put yourself in that position. Or you know you've been putting yourself in this fucked up position for so long. You know that this person been kind of boxing you out and manipulating you and you thought this was going on, but really this was going on. You need to watch the people around you. And this is the biggest thing that I learned from therapy is my inner child had been leading the show the whole time. My inner child was like, I don't want everyone to get along. And we're all gonna just naively optimistic. And now grown up me is protecting baby me. I'm like, no, stop, you can't, no, get back here. Get behind me. - Yeah, the girl with the bound feet and the fucked up hair. Yeah, the mold and the bun. - Okay. - No way out. - He's dragged me. - No, that little girl you got to protect. - No, we got to protect. - Yeah. - My girl, no. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You can't trust these people. So I am proud. I'm not done though. I'm learning new shit. - We all are. - Oh my God. - It's not over. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Wow. - Okay, so how do we end up writing little Lizzo meets Sasha B. Fluton? Can I kind of give you the description I wrote out of that? - Sure. - It's so adorable. Of course I did. - It's such a sweet book. - It is. It's about a little girl feeling lost and alone in a new school. She's a roomful instrument. She gives them all the world, but none of them land. Then Sasha B. Fluton said, "What about me?" The two you go on a ride, stopping in the jungle, the sea and the sky. And every time you try to make the sounds of those places, nothing comes out. But when you and Sasha look into yourselves, into your heart, a sound finally comes out. And that is the sound that brings all the kids together. It's the sound that you make that lets you know you belong. - Oh my God. - Is that a good description? - Yes. - With the cutest little drawings. - Oh, I know. - And the cutest little imaginary world. - I just feel like this book makes me emotional every time I think about it. And I was like, "I fucking wrote it." And I did ask wrote it, like no funny shit. I got video footage of me writing this motherfucking book of me sketching Lil Lizzo to give to Mark Pet. Like I'm really hands in this book. But I get emotional every time I think about it 'cause everyone's interpretation of it. And every person I sit with as they read it or I read it to, it elicits a different response. I'm the same way with my music though. I could play a song for somebody and a different person, a different person, and it'll hit different every time. The way you surmised it with going to the space and the sea and the jungle. And like you tried to play those sounds but those sounds were not you. - Yeah. - Oh my God. This is tearing me up right now 'cause it's true. I wanted it to have a where to wow things are kind of surrealism. - Yes. - Where you know the walls dematerialize and suddenly he's like in a boat. - Well again, you already told us like, you live. in La La Land. I did. And so this is the book is La La Land. Yes, exactly. And when I would walk into the band hall, it was like nothing outside of that room mattered. Only band kids understand the intense feeling of family and importance. It was so fucking important to us, the music that we were playing, the march that we had to do. Anything outside that room, we just drowned out because we were so focused and we were so in tune with each other. And so when she walks in that room, she's like, well, what's all the fuss about? I want to know. And she finds Sasha, Sasha called to her. The flute picked me when I was in fifth grade. There was something about the flute being difficult that I was like super, super drawn to. And I loved the challenge. I was like, such a overachiever, just poindexter. So when I was chosen, she was like, you, because it was just such a magical moment. I just, she looked down on me and smiled and was like, you, and I was like, yay, that was my Sasha being like, you gonna sleep on the flutes? Are you going to move on the flutes? They chose each other. I do like drawing the parallels between my actual childhood experience with the flute, because that's the reason why I wrote the book. I wanted to tell the story in a colorful way. I've been playing a flute. When did I first pull it out at the BET Awards and Tork and Rihanna stood up? 2019 BET Awards, 18, 19, they've been asking me about flute since then. We're about to be about a decade of the relay. So why flute? How flute? And I was like, here, let me put it down for you. Our friend Molly, when we were on the height of our Lizzo obsession, Molly was obsessed with Sasha B, right? She talked about Sasha B all the time. People have a connection to Sasha separately from you. And I think this book is going to do that even more because of her personification in the book. It's an outcast too. Yeah, yeah. I've an outcast too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. See me, you know, it's beautiful. And Sasha's so funny and brassy and like, she's got a little hands on her hip and her little rainbow buttons and she's a fun girl. Yeah, she's being played wrong, the entire time. And at the end, it's like, and that's when you create the sound and it's like breathing. And I wanted to throw a little bit of mindfulness and breath work in there at the end so that you can sit with your youngins and you can be like, okay, now sit and take a deep breath white. When you get to that point and they take a deep breath, a deep breath makes anyone feel good. Sometimes when you say deep breath, it makes you want to take a deep breath or when you say yawn, it makes you want to yawn. Okay, the very last thing I want to talk to you about is I was watching the Gail King interview and she wanted to talk to you about your use of the word bitch. Oh, yeah. Look, I love Gail King. We all love Gail King. But she's like, you're going through, you know, we use it a lot. Okay, and then she said, you know, what about a little girl hearing that word? That was part of it, right? And I just want to say that one morning, probably four years ago, I think Lincoln was nine, our oldest daughter. She came into our bedroom. It was one of those days, right? She just did not want to go to school. She was just feeling defeated by everything and she said, I can't do it. I didn't feel as she was sad and all this stuff. And I said, come with me and we went to our mirror. I've told the story in here before, but we went to the mirror and I said, I want you to repeat after me. Okay, and she goes, okay, she's nine. I go, I'm a bad bitch and I'm all fucked this day up. And this little nine year old goes, I'm a bad bitch and I'm going to fuck this day up. Yes. And do your spirit change like you can't imagine on a dime. And then I told that story on here and then all these kind of women in our life, it became a little anthem. I'm a bad bitch and I'm going to fuck this day up. And then this was given to us. Oh my god, look at the little baby face. So I just want to thank you because our family anthem that gets us through our bad days is I'm a bad bitch. I'm going to fuck this day up. And that's because of you. Really? Yeah. Wow, what? Because my little girls, they got introduced to that word as a powerful word. It's something that makes you feel like you can walk out on strong. The way that I feel about that thing with profanity and children is I don't like to cuss around kids at all. I grew up in the church. I don't get around my mama. Okay, sure. To this day. And I'm a grown ass woman. So that's how my mind is, but I also feel like we live in a world where it isn't an effortability that they're going to hear these words. Like I was hearing cuss words when I was and I was like, what is that? What is that? First, right on the playground here every whole endless word imaginable. You're going to hear it. So it's like better to disarm some of these words so that younger people cannot have the negative effect. Taking the power out of fat, taking the power out of bitch that someone can hurt you with. Yeah, giving the power back to you. Yeah, the way you neutralize them is they go bitch and you're like, fuck yeah. And I'm like, oh, that didn't have the effect I wanted. I wanted to hurt you and minimize you and reduce you. I'm like, oh, what's up, fat ass? Yeah, my ass is fat. Yeah, exactly. Like, okay. And you want to bite it. Yeah. Oh, she wouldn't be talking about it. Right. So much. So yes, I do think that inevitability and a part of my work is disarming words like that and toxic words like that. Because I want people to be kinder to each other, but that's not real. No, it's not going to happen. That's not the world. We have to disarm the bullies. That's right. I love that. No, it's just a judo move on it all. Yeah. Well, I've been wanting to do this for five, six years. I'm so happy. You've been alluding us for so long. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We've been wanting you forever. I hear that so much. I'm like, guys, I promise I'm down the street. Well, now you got boundaries. We call you when your boundaries were dead. Five or five years ago, we probably would have been doing sequela shots. Yeah, maybe it's the time he was perfect for this. Yeah. Yeah. So funny. Are you guys? No, you drink beer. No, I don't. I haven't drank in 22 years. It's because I just love it. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Do you know? Do you know? No, don't. I got to hold this up. It's the cutest book ever. Please. Little Lizzo. Meet Sasha. Be fluten. I was September 9th September. Guys, it's a great. It is. Get it for your little beautiful girl. And there's a flute song in the end. You can hit the QR code and go listen to a special flute song. Lizzo, I adore you. Thank you for coming. This was so fun. Yeah. I had so much fun with the show. I can talk all day. Come back. Okay. Let's go out with a song. Oh, okay. Here we go. That's not going to work for me. I want to focus on you. All the big fights. Long nights that you've been through. I got about a little tequila. I've been saying for you. What's up and change a line. You can have it on a sacrifice. Don't you get wrong. We can make it right. So go and let it all hang out tonight. Oh, you wanted that. Oh, wow. You're bad. I'll walk youll find us. I'll put you up. Oh, all right. Listen, there's feet on the view anymore. I'll be sweating these days. I'm sure. I sure hope there weren't any mistakes in that episode, but we'll find out when my mom, Mrs. Monica, comes in and tells us who was wrong. Okay. You have a story. Yeah. I have a couple. So you've with how this happens to us in real life occasionally. Yeah. Where I see you normally, I'd hear some fun story. And then you have to reserve it in the fact. Yeah. I'm too, actually. Oh, my God. Okay. But I'm going to start with this one first. Okay. So happy birthday, Jess. Jess is 50 today. That's a big old number. That's a big boy. It's a big boy for a big boy. Uh-huh. And he's finally grown into his age. Exactly. Or aged into his growth. He's aged into his stature. Yeah. So we went to Palm Springs for just like 36, 38 hours. I was told by Anna. You were blessed with no traffic on the way there, which is rare on a Friday. It was great. Maybe because it was 126 there. It was hot. Yeah. It was really hot. So it was me, Jess, Anna, Erica and Charlie. We kept it small for many reasons when it was very impromptu. But Jess, we wanted to go to this very specific restaurant that I think Max is five people. The tables with the only of five customers at once. No, no, sorry. Like each table. You can't have like more than five people. Maybe six. I think five. They don't have big. Yeah. Exactly. Um, so we went. It was so fun. Um, restaurant incredible. What kind of cuisine? American Palm Sprint. Everything's fusion. It's fusion. Like I had a burger. I'm going to add a pork chop, steak, freeze. Okay. So American. Yeah. And then there was a really cool bar attached to it that we went to anyway. Great. But like chill night. Like we were at the pool and we did this dinner. Oh, and I walked to shopping, which was the first time I've ever thought, no, maybe the second time. The other time was in Georgia when you or in your family really wanted to drive you. You were gonna take a walk. - Oh yeah, but I don't regret that. That was like-- - I thought you said you got on the walk and you were like, "Get's too hot for this walk." - No. - Okay. - I don't regret that. - Okay. - I had some regrets in Paris when I was out there in the heat bubble. - Heat bubble. - Yeah, in the heat bubble. But then this was only, this was a three minute drive. I was like, "I'm walking, this is crazy." - Yeah. - So it was like a 16, 17 minute walk. I get out there two minutes and I was like, "Oh wow, I'm so hot and I'm getting nervous." Then I'm starting to panic. - Feel dangerous. - Yeah, so I'm taking deep breaths. But I made it there. - You're a Mac and Soul cycle. - Exactly, exactly. But I made it there to the store and then two minutes later the store closed. I didn't look up the timing. So that was really upsetting. Anyway, easy, great day, fun day. Now this hotel has two parts to it. It has a normal part with like rooms, great rooms, a big pool. And then there's an area, the special area called the bungalows in their extra. And it's like kind of it's own private area. So if you don't have a key card to that, you can't get in there. And it has its own waiting pool. - This is what you posted a photo of. I have an image of a long rectangular pool and then seemingly bungalows on the sides. - Yes, there's bungalows on the sides. And then in the pool on one side, there's like six or so chairs that are in the pool and so you can like lounge and be wet. It's so nice. I mean, the pool's like 18 inches. - Okay. - So there's no, yeah. - There's no diving. - No, there's no diving, there's no swimming. You're just like laying at it. - No, hold your breath, contests. - Yeah, and it is kind of funny when people are walking 'cause they just like splash. There's walking through. - And it must have been so warm as well. I mean, they would maybe even have to cool it at that depth in that heat. - The first day people thought it was could be a little bit cooler, not me. 'Cause you know, I like the heat. The second day, we thought it was nice. - Okay, great. - Anyway, so we get back after dinner and we decide to get in the pool. The pool closes at 10. - Okay, interesting. For Palm Springs, I feel like it would be open later, but continue. - Well, you saw that. So, pool closes at 10. It's 8.40 when we get home. And we all get in our bathing suits. We're all drinking water. Like, no one, we are not rowdy. I guess is the whole purpose of me saying this. We all get in the pool, we're hanging, we're chatting, we're drinking water. And somebody opens the door to the bungalow behind us, opens it like, what's this like? - Yeah, a broccoli. - A broccoli, thank you. And he said, he was a guy. He was probably, I would say, 60 or younger, but had, you know. - Some hard miles. - Thank you. - Okay. - And he said. - Are you okay? (laughing) - What happened? - Let's talk about it. - Oh, that scared me. - But he was being attacked back there. - I thought he had a seizure. - Yeah. - Okay. - Pick your pick. - Okay, so he opens the door and he said, I can hear you. And we laughed. Like, we thought he was joking, being funny. To remind people who don't know, Charlie, so we have Charlie-- - For revenge, Charlie. - Yes, Charlie just meet Erica Anna. Charlie is huge and muscular and-- - Jess is huge as well. - Jess is intimidating when he stands up, right? But we're on the pool. So he comes out and he is like, he's like, you're waking, you're waking everybody up. We're asleep. We're asleep. You, and then, what's so interesting is the way everyone starts behaving differently, right? So Erica-- - I can feel how I would-- - I know. - I know the feeling that would be in my body. - Yes. - Yeah. - Which is similar to Charlie. - Sure. - Okay, but Erica was like, don't worry, we'll move. - Let's see. - And I know. And I was like, no. - Yeah. - And Charlie was like, hey, you need to chill, man. - Okay, yeah, sure. - And he said, I need to chill. And Charlie was like, yeah, man, you need to chill. And he, like, turns around. - Uh-huh. - And this guy's like, I would never do this to you. - To him, to Charlie's was everyone? - To all of, like, the way could them up? Or something? He was like, we're asleep. I said, I said, it's nine. - Yeah. - And Charlie was like-- - We're all springs, it's Friday night. - Charlie was like, the pool closes at 10. - Yeah. - It's nine o'clock and he's screaming at us and getting closer. - Oh. - He's starting to walk towards us. - What is his physical stature? You're not great at this. - I'm not good at this. - Yeah. - If he's not tiny, but, okay. So then Charlie gets up at his, this is kind of difficult because, you know, it's like 18 inches, but he's just like standing in this. (laughing) It's like, you know, water and his ankles basically. - Right, right. - And he's like, you need to go back and say, Charlie's like, you need to go back inside. And he's like, oh, look, with you in your tattoos, you think you're a tough man? - Uh-huh. - I was like, oh my God, what is about to happen? - Yeah, this guy who hasn't been punched out too long, been too long. He's been acting like this to people and getting away with it. - And we heard a woman inside say-- - Oh, she's so sick of being this-- - Exactly. - You married this guy, yeah. - Glenn? - Steve. - Okay. - Steve. - Steve, come to bed. She said, you could hear inside. And then, Charlie was like, Steve, go to bed. (laughing) And then, and he was just carrying on, carrying on finally, he went inside. - Okay. - But it was a real-- - Showdown. - Showdown. And I did not expect to feel what I felt. - Oh, okay. - Yeah. - Okay. - It was really interesting. - So were you feeling? - I was like, I-- - Condoned this. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I can don't Charlie, but Charlie, he did not-- - Escalate. - Escalate. - He did not cross the line. And he said after, he was like, I just told myself, do not get out of this pool. - Hey, alright, 'cause then there weren't an hour and another situation. - Situations. - Yeah, and a police or maybe come-- - I'm like, yeah. So I didn't want any of that to happen, but I was glad that he was saying stuff and standing up to him. And I also, I was like, it's nine. I was like, sir, we are allowed to-- He didn't hear me at all. - Sure. - He couldn't hear women. - But I was not afraid of the confrontation. And then I was like, whoa, this feels not natural for me. Meanwhile-- - Oh, it's happening to me. - Meanwhile, Erica, Jess and Anna have like, moved into the other area. And Erica keeps telling us, she's like, come on, guys. Come on, like, come, Charlie, come. Like, you know, she's obviously-- - Sure, Steve and Charlie. - Yeah, yeah, the wives are like, come on, everybody. Let's just-- - But-- - Drop this. - But no, no to dropping it. Like, this guy, I did feel like moving felt like he won. - Uh-huh. - And it was nine o'clock in Palm Springs. And, oh, I think I said something like, we've all paid to be here. - We're all, what? What makes you think you can come, like, if you, I understand if it's loud, first of all, you can come out and say, hey, guys, I'm so sorry. I mean, whatever. There's a million ways to do this. - We go to bed so early. - Exactly. - We like to go to bed at seven. - Uh-huh, yeah. - But you could do that, or you need to really take it up with the hotel, you need to-- - You also don't get a room next to the pool. - Well, all the bungalows are right there. - So that's not for you. - Exactly, so this isn't a hotel for you. - You need to just see that tucked into the corner and you visit the pool and you want to. - Yeah, like, this isn't the hotel for you. This is the way it's set up. - It beeps with the architect, my friend. - Exactly. - Yeah, yeah. So then, yeah, so we were all like a little like, amton kind of frazzled, but it is funny. Everyone behaves so differently in these situations and I'm sure so much of it is childhood. So much of it is just personality, I guess. Like I was kind of surprised. Like I was surprised, Erica wasn't more confrontational. - Uh-huh. - 'Cause she's very strong and like speaks her mind and stuff like that in general. But she's also in public relations. So she's really, really good at de-escalating, you know, tensions that are rising. She has these big events, you know. So she's got to be a master judo expert at redirecting these hostile, you know. - Yeah. - She's really well-practiced. She's like dealing with the public aton and clients and yeah. - And Anna was sort of somewhere in the middle. 'Cause she was like, what? Like she was saying kind of some stuff but then not enough for her to like really hold her around. And then Jess, you know, kind of gets up and then staggers away. - She got trips five times. - Literally. (laughing) - He had one's nothing to do with confrontation really. - That's interesting 'cause he often does. - I don't think he does. - He does. - My experience with him and one time we got enough fight about this. - Yeah, yeah. it's like someone called someone gay or something. - Exactly, and then it wasn't on it with somebody else, but yes, some thing happened and she was really upset and then just went inside to go deal with it and then came back and had done nothing and then I was really annoyed. Um, so we're all just so different in these circumstances. - Yeah. - And you know, normally I think I'm like, no, we just don't, who cares, who cares? Just when you, when you to walk away, that person has nothing to do with us, but I didn't feel that way. - Interesting. - At all. How do we describe this? - And I was like, this is your auntie vibes coming out. Now you're an auntie. - I don't, I don't think that's it. - I don't like that. - I, I, now I'm starting to wonder why ever thought, I don't know, 'cause I am fine in confrontation. We do know this. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you, yeah. - So I don't know why I ever thought that I, - Well, I'm imagining you think you are an auntie, physical comfort. - Violent. - Physical comfort. - Yes, which I am. - I am too. - Yeah. - Until someone forces physical confrontation and then, - Yeah. - Then I go, okay, this is how you wanna have this confrontation. - Right. - I can do either. I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll argue with you. Or if you wanna get down, I'm, I'm your Huckleberry. - Yeah. - Like let's, let's do that. - I know. - That'll be conclusive. - That's my, why I like it. - I still don't like it. I don't like it. I'm really proud of Charlie for staying in the pool. I'm glad he did. - Yeah. - But when this man is coming towards us with this anger and like screaming and he's so aggressive, I was like, wow, like I do feel like maybe he deserves to get hit, which is, I've never felt that. - Yeah. - So it's really wild. - Well, it's a good thing we're transitioning you and I like, now you're into, and I'm kind of like, I'm retiring from all of it. So it's, it's good that we weren't ever out on the scene with both of us that way. 'Cause again, I have this chip on my shoulder about guys who have power in their jobs and they're used to like fucking screaming at people and doing things that would otherwise get them into a fist fight, like you can't just do that. Unless you have some bullshit arbitrary power you're used to and you literally can't click out of, you're not in your office, bro, and I don't work for you and you can't talk to people like this. - Yeah, I guess 'cause I think I live with so much that you, you can't talk to people like that. You can't treat people like that. I live with a lot of those feelings. - Yeah, yeah. - So I guess I was just like, yeah, this. - Maybe it was the heat. - The heat had you. - I mean, also he was just so clearly obviously had been drinking like all day long, obviously. Who was the bet? - It was insane. As you said, 10 PM is too early. - Yes, yes, yes, for Palm Springs on a Friday night. - Yeah, so that was wild. And then it led to a different conversation where I, so then Charlie went to the front and he just said, "Hey, just so you know this happened." - This is how this unraveled exactly. And I, and this is also I guess the way that I act. I was like, someone's getting an email. Someone's getting an email tomorrow. The hotel's getting a stern email. And I said that to everyone. I was like, I'm telling the hotel like that this was completely unacceptable. And then then we were kind of split, okay? 'Cause some people were like, well, it's not. They're a fault. And I was like, it's not their fault. It is absolutely not their fault. But this happened at their hotel. It ruined a section of the night. And it could, and maybe did have an impact on whether anyone's, we're ever coming back here. - Okay. - So I think it is up to the hotel to say like, I'm so sorry that happened here. You all get to come back for a full week for France. - Oh, okay. - No, not like that. But still, I do think it's a responsibility of the establishment to do what they can to make you want to come back. Because I did think like, oh, well, if this, and also if it is too loud for people like that's a problem. - Yeah, yeah. - And I don't want to have dealt with that person. I hated that, you know, I kind of liked it, but I hated it. - Yeah, a little bit. You liked it. - And yeah, so then we got, we were all in a debate about that. Me and Charlie, of course. - Of course, yeah. He's the great email writer. - Yeah, he loved it, exactly. But to be clear, we both believe, we're not like, oh, this is the hotel's fault, but. - So I'm on the side of the, confront that guy and then not on the side of like, it's too bad you guys had to deal with that guy. And now these people working there got to deal with this guy, downriver. - Yeah, but here's the thing that's also true. Like they might need to put a flag on that or say to him, like, hey, if you come back to this hotel, that can't happen again. - No, it does stop set the pool. - Exactly, like they need to know. - Go ahead and call us if you think someone's being too loud and we'll look at you. - Exactly. - Yeah. - So did you write an email? - I did not. - Okay. - Because then I got in my head about it a little bit. I'm still debating. - Okay. 'Cause I was thinking like, okay, if this happened at a restaurant, okay, 'cause Jess was like, no, like they don't, whatever. And I was like, Jess, if this happened at a restaurant and some patron screamed at another patron and like, stormed over and stuff. Of course it's not the restaurant's fault, but the restaurant is gonna do something. The restaurant is probably gonna-- - Sent them a dessert. - Something. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And like-- - Pay for their coffees. - Tell the guy like, you can't do that here. - You're not welcome here anymore. - Yeah. - Well, maybe when Charlie gave them the whole lay of the land-- - I know, but they would have decided-- - They would have decided-- - He didn't say it to anyone. - He said it to him. - He said it to him. - He said it to him. - Kind of. Like there was no one there. - Oh, they were. - So that's why I felt the email was really necessary. - Okay. (laughing) 'Cause I wanted to speak to a manager, the hotel owners. - Sure, sure, sure. - Not just the front desk. 'Cause I agree with you there, right? I'm like, what's this front desk person gonna do? She's trying to get through their ship. - Yeah, so this is more of a higher up situation that I wanted. I'm gonna-- - Okay. - Yeah. - Okay. - Yeah. - Let me know how that goes. - Okay, it just was wild this time. - Yeah. - And then I hope you're really bad for the wife. - Yeah. I mean, that's, she's linked to this guy. You think it's not a stand alone. That's not someone's first time acting like that. - See you come back to bed. See we can't do this again. - That's what I mean. - See I'm not going to bail you out again. Although, let's just devil's advocate. - Yeah. - Maybe she was in there going, "Steam, go fucking tell me, stop." Go get, like she could have been goading him. And he snapped, 'cause his wife's yelling on him. - She could have. - Yeah, but that's a scenario that happens sometime. - That happens. That could definitely happen. - I have a friend whose wife's always getting into fights. And he's just like, he can hear it from the car. And he's like, oh God, she's yelling at the construction workers. How long before they call her a bitch? And then I got to get out of the car. - So again. - No, she could definitely could have been, I just felt like, this is a tough, tough situation. And then the next day we were at the other pool at the bar and he, and this is like a two or one or something. And he comes up. And so we're all just kind of like standing there and he doesn't say anything to us and orders his drinks and then goes, so we think he doesn't remember. - Okay, yeah. So he might have been heavily intoxicated. Okay. One of the many reasons he would have lost that tussle with Charlie. - Oh yeah. (laughing) - Do you think you're a big man? I, when he started saying that, I was like. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I was like, who do you think you are? Like, who? I mean, it's crazy 'cause I was like, yeah, you're asking for him to hit you. When you go up into space. - You're, you're taunting a bear. - Yeah. Oh, with your tattoos. - Yeah. - It was wild. - Wow, exciting. - It was exciting. - Yeah, very exciting. - But the hell was our money back? - Okay. Okay, great. So that was one of two stories? - Yes. - Okay. - Okay, this is a different male story. - Oh, okay. - I was on the west side on Thursday. And once you get to the west side, depending on your timing, you have to stay there. - Okay, you're there for the day. - You're there for the day and to the night. - So traffic dies down at 8 p.m. - Exactly. So I was there and then I was like, okay, where do I go kill time? So I went to a place called Voltaire. It's a restaurant, it's in Brentwood. And I've been there before and I was like, they have like a lounge area. So I was like, I'll do work there, I have my computer. So I went and they were like, have a seat, wherever that doesn't say reserved. So I went, there was one table in the back that didn't say reserved. So I sat there. And there was like, obviously some sort of like gathering happening, kind of looks like maybe it was like a work, post work or work thing. Anyway, I'm sitting there and then this guy comes up to me, this man. And he was like, I haven't met you yet. - I will. - I would say. He, okay, I pretty much think everyone's 60. - Yeah, it sounds like people are your age or they're 60. - No, people are 25 or they're 60. And he came up to me and he said, I haven't met you yet. And I was like, oh, I'm not party, you're party. And he was like, oh, and I said, but they told me to sit where ever I wanted if it didn't say reserved, and it doesn't say reserved. And he was like, oh, it's all reserved. And I was like, oh, and he was like, but you're fine, you're fine. You're not bothering anyone, like you stay. And I was like, - How did it build up at this point with all the reserved tables? - No, there was like a couple more. But like people were coming and I was at a very, I was like at a big table but that, 'cause I was the only one. - You were at a six-stop or something. - There was the only one that didn't say reserved. - Yeah. - And I was like, well, no, I don't wanna be, I don't wanna like intrude and he was like, no, no, no, no, you're fine. And then like the bar tender server lady comes up and she was like, this is reserved. I was like, okay, yeah, it doesn't say it. And so I sat here, but where should I go? And she was like, do you wanna sit at the bar? Like the actual bar. And I was like, well, am I allowed to with my computer? - Yeah. - He said, yes. I was like, okay, great. I go, I sit at the bar. Now I am the first in like the front seat. - For people who have put in cocktail orders to your right, like the servers. - Exactly, except, okay, but it's on the left and there was one seat there. But yeah, it's like on the corner, I'm not sitting there, you know? So I'm workies and it's great. Getting my edits done. I always wonder, I'm like, people can see. So they're just seeing me and you and Lizzo. It's like all my computer. - Yeah, yeah. - Anyway, so I'm sitting there, I'm doing work and then I look over and the bartender like comes and he puts down this placemat, this leather placemat at the seat next to me. No one else has this, by the way. And he puts like a knife and a fork. And I thought, huh, who is about to come sit here? - Yeah, the president may be. - Exactly. So I'm kinda keeping an eye out and then a man comes and sits there. I don't recognize him, but I'm noticing that everyone, like the staff wise is coming up to him and they're all like really engaging with him, hugging him, 60. - Okay, great. It feels stupid asking. - And I'm like, who is this guy? - Yeah, you love this, this is happening in New York. - This happens to me all the time. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, someone, a very VIP enters, this is a man, yeah, yeah. - It's like, you're intrigued. - Yep, I'm intrigued, people are, and then I think but I have headphones and so I can't hear that well, but I hear something about sports. I was like, maybe this guy like owns a sports team or something and he was wearing a suit. - Oh, okay. - So then I'm intrigued and then I take out my headphones to get a drink, right? So I'm just like, I take them out and I'm waiting for a second. And he says-- - Seizes. - Uh-huh, he does, he says, it was like 540 or something and he was like, you have to stop working at 545. And I was like, oh, well, I don't think that's gonna happen. And he was like, well, they're gonna kick you out, but he was being very playful. I was not like nervous or anything, but I was like, oh, I guess I'll be on the street with my computer and my martini then. And then he laughed and laughed. - Sure, that's joking, ever heard? And I was wearing a-- - Amy Schumer joke, ever heard, yeah. Oh my god, you're not gonna believe what she said. - Kate Upton, think, think, think, Upton. I was wearing a bandana that day. I've never worn one before. So I think I was feeling like a new personality. - Yeah, a persona going. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And she was cool this girl, me. So then we talked for another second or whatever. Get my drink, I kinda put my headphones back in and then all, and then this other person comes up to me. A shout out, extremely attractive man comes up to me. And I take my head as I said, are you Monica? He said, yes, he said, I'm a huge armchair. - Oh my god, and he was extremely attractive. - Yes, he had to meet James Marsden Energy. - Whoa, that's huge energy. - And I was like, then my bandana was doing nothing for me. I was, yeah. - You're back to being an ugly dogman. - Yeah, I was like, oh that's so nice. He was like, you just had a birthday, happy birthday. And I was like, thanks. I'm editing, I always tell people that. I'm editing right now. - Yeah, sure. - Behind the curtain. - Yeah. And then he said, can I take a picture for my wife? - Uh, bummer, okay. - And I was like, sure, of course. And then he looks at this guy. And he says, can you take a picture for us? And he hands the phone to him. - Yeah, exciting. Now that now the old timer is like, shit, this bitch is famous. - So he says, yeah, takes a picture. I say, by the armchair, he walks away. And this guy says, okay, well, I need to know who you are. - Uh-huh. You just said I own the cardinals. (laughing) Stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare. (upbeat music) - I said, oh, I have a podcast. And he was like, oh, well, what is it? And I said, oh, it's called armchair expert. I hosted it with Dak Shepherd. And he was like, oh, he's like, you do look familiar. I was like, well, I know. - You're gonna say you said you do look like Dak Shepherd. - I thought it was you, Dak. (laughing) No, he said, you do look kind of familiar. I was like, well, I mean, if you don't listen to show, it's probably not. He was like, well, I mean, I know, of course, I know Dak. And I was like, yeah. And he was like, well, then I think I put my headphones back in or something. - And so much action happening. You're like, yeah, this is like sitcom pacing. - Yeah. - And now this person enters that person exits. They open the door to this conversation, yeah. - Exactly. And so then I think I take my headphones out again or something and he seizes again. He's quick, he knows, you know? And he's like-- - So he's sitting next to someone on an airplane. - Yeah, he said, I just a doom scrolled you. - Oh wow. - Oh wow. - Yeah, and I said, doom scrolls. I was like, well, that's, I think a bad thing. And he was like, my daughter, he has a 24-year-old daughter. So my daughter calls it that. And he was like, you're famous. And I said, I think you're famous based on what I can see has been going on here for the past hour. - Yeah. - And I said, who are you? - Yeah, nice. It's what the script is. - My band, Tiana, was doing a lot of the heavy lifting. - Yeah, you were back to band animal mode. - Uh-huh. And then things start going wild, right? Like, he's like, oh no, I'm just a regular here. And I was like, mm, doesn't feel like that. You have your own place map. I know how this works. And then he said, he works for some people. - Okay. - And then, and then the bartender, this really nice bartender, Carlos. I learned about Carlos. He comes up and he was like-- - Not 60. - No, Carlos is not 60. - Yeah, yeah, I had a hunch. He wasn't 60. - And Carlos is joking with this man. And he's like, how'd you get her to talk? Do you have been trying to talk to her? - Well, Carlos was saying that that. - But you were the head of this bar. You should go here all the time. I would never leave this place. - Well, listen, so Balteir is a very specific place. It is a specific vibe. People are there to meet people. - Oh, great, great. - Now, to me, it's a type, so west side. And so I think that's also like, the cultures in LA are very different. The west side's very different from the east side. - Yeah. - So I think I felt kind of like in a fun way, to fish out of water. - Uh huh, yeah, yeah. - 'Cause I'm in a bandana, a Terry cloth Susie Condi, great shirt, green shirt, you know, people are in pants, like loose pants. People are there and basically they're underwear, you know? People are there looking sexy. It's very specific. And I guess this is Thursday night, and Thursday night is live music night. And so it was like so packed. - Yeah, okay, wow. - Um, and I think it gave me confidence, 'cause I was like, oh my God, like what is, this is such a scene. - Yes, yes. - And I think this person was intrigued by me because I was not doing this, you know. - This is me at the four seasons with the tattoos. Like, yeah, but you were enjoying it. - I was enjoying it and I wasn't on the prowl. Like if I was on the prowl, then I would be like, oh, I like look crazy. - Uh huh. - But I'm saying, you got to experience thing I'm always trying to say. It's like, oh yeah, I kind of dig that everyone. - Yeah. - I'm not participating, which removes me from the stakes of it all. - That's, yes, definitely. It removed me, it removed the stakes, but also, yeah, I just thought really confident my band-aid. - Yeah, great. - So then we start talking. I talked to this person for, I leave it nine and we talk the whole time and then we have some other friends next to us that we make. Yeah. Great. And there's like an hour and a half of talking or more like three and a half hours. Wow. This is a meat. Cute. And then like I eat some of this steak and I order a potato. Yeah. Wow. This is so fun. It was you were being handed hot over. I was because then I ordered a burrolo shout out if anyone wants to send me burrolo. It is my favorite wine. Oh, that's a wine. It's a type of wine and it is very rarely on the menu as a by the glass. They want you to get the bottle. Yeah. So, but they had it by the glass. And so I ordered a burrolo and he said to Carlos. He said, ah, the perfect woman. Oh, yeah. This is very. And he's Italian. The man was not Carlos because Carlos would go either way. I was thinking Latino. Oh, he actually could be Spanish. Yeah. Carlos science. Exactly. Anyway, he. So, so that was fun and and we talked about everything we talked about dating. He's he's looking. Yeah, he's divorced, but he has a great relationship with his ex-wife and his unfortunately his house burdened out in the palisades, which is very sad, but now I live in Beverly Hills. And we talked and I asked him what happened in this marriage. Oh, yeah. Um, I asked what he's looking for on a partner, all these things. I told him about the dairy queen story. Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah. So we just. And how over it was he being? Was he going like, well, that's crazy because you are so beautiful. Was he going hard? He didn't say you're so beautiful, but he was giving me compliments. Yeah. Yeah. And we discussed Tris. We discussed. He knows everything about me. Wow. Exciting. I was just enjoying him so much. Yeah. And I was like, oh my god, this is my new friend. Like, he's a fun friend. Yes. And I got his name. We exchanged numbers. Yeah. Yeah. And he paid for my, all my drinks. Sure. Of course. He lives in Beverly Hills. Well, it was actually really cute because I obviously wanted to pay and I went to pay. And then Carlos, you know, gave me my check, but it was just a smiley face. Oh, no. Really? Yeah. Carlos the wink. He probably got it all like. Oh, he has it all dialed. And at one point, they gave me a place map. Oh my goodness. No. Because I said, I said, oh my god, I mean, he doesn't hang out with him again because it's the elephant in the room is I'm sure he'd love to make love to you. So how do you? I'm not. I don't want, I would like to keep it as a friendship, but I also like kind of like that it was like a, it was a, what's that called in the pan? Fashion the pan. Like it was like a really fun just night one off. Yeah. Yeah. And I like really just have a fondness for him and for that evening. Yeah. And I don't really know how these older men will you say they just, they're just a good time. And then all of a sudden you're like, I mean, he's definitely listening to this. Oh, well. So shout out. You know who you are. I did over here. I'm saying he's buying a house in Puglia where the hell's Puglia. Oh, Jesus. I know. I know you're going to be on a wooden criss-cross boat on Lake Omaha. I didn't think I thought this is how it happened. Yeah. This is exactly how it happened. So I'm like, and also he's great. Like he, he had a great personality. Yeah. Very, very enjoyable to talk to funny, understood, funny, which was great. Yeah. And so like I said, I would keep my eyes peeled for someone for him. Uh-huh. And his age range, I just, I don't know, but I, I, I, I don't know. I just, did you ask him what age he dates? I did. Yeah. What do you say? He said he doesn't have like, he doesn't have any restrictions on that. He's fine. Uh-huh. He said he's like 20, 30, 30, 30. He was just like, it doesn't matter as long and then he gave me some requirements, which were good requirements. He likes that people had their own thing. Yeah. So of course. Which is what I also like. And me too. Exactly. So anyway, I, um, I don't want a passenger. Exactly. He didn't want a passenger, he wanted some, but he also did because he was like, he's ready. He, you know, he's like, lived a big life already. Uh-huh. And he's ready to like travel and do a bunch of things. So he can't, he want, he needs someone. So this is putting this out there for people who are interested and I can set you up. Okay. Um, he is 20 to 60. If you're listening and someone with purpose and has their own thing going on, but he also wants to travel and stuff and want a partner. He isn't a little bit of a pickle. Yeah. Yeah. But there's going to be someone for him. Well, he sounds very charming. He was. He got through to you. Exactly. Yeah. Extremely hard to do. Yes. I'm blown away by both parties. It was really fun. Okay. Both wonderful stories and I have a tiny one that's just not wonderful. It's just me telling it to myself only because it just came up in an armchair anonymous. Oh, what? And I wanted to tell you just because it was one of the more awkward things I've ever done. Oh, no. So this is back in Tennessee over the summer. Uh-huh. Delta had a friend flying in. Uh-huh. And that's a whole process if an unaccompanied minor is flying. Oh, right. Yeah. So you got to go to the airport. You know, you got to you declare yourself and you need all this information on you. Great. And you got to get there really early to get a not a boarding pass, but a pass that can get you through security to get you to the gate, right? Yes. So I left the house and I was like, okay, I got to go pick up my high-flector 2000. That's my, that's your zapping instrument and and because it required signature, I had it delivered to Walgreens because I was afraid we wouldn't be home. Oh, smart. I never do this. I don't. I hate signature just to everyone in the world. No more signatures, but okay. I agree. I agree. The Delta go with you? No. Oh, it's just you. Okay. It was just me because it was ours, right? I was going to have to be there early then whatever. And she wouldn't have been able to come through the gate. Oh, she can't. Right. So when I leave her in the lobby of the airport. So anyways, I leave my house and I, I'm on the edge of me being comfortable. I'm like, I got to get to the airport and check in. I want to make sure this little girl isn't getting off of a flight. Her first time flying by herself and I'm not standing there. Yeah. So I'm a little stressed about that. I probably shouldn't have tried to pick up the thing, but I'll just turn left just a mile and then I'll be back on track. So I go into the Walgreens and I say, like, hey, I'm picking up a package. And she's like, okay, the name and I say deck shepherd and here's the address. And so she can't really find the box. But I can see the box. We're already in that situation. Okay. I'm like, I can't see that, but I think it might be that one, right? So, so she gets the box and then she comes up and I show her my license and it says my name on the back. So she goes, okay, the tracking number and I go, oh, I don't, I don't know the tracking number. And she's like, well, I can't give you this unless you have the tracking number. And I go, even though it says my name on there and I'm showing you my life, no, I go, okay, let me go out to the car to get my phone and see if I can find this tracking number. So I go out to the car, I get my phone. And you know, you would think it'd be easy to find it. It's not easy to find it. So many emails from FedEx and UPS, I don't even know which carrier it's been sent by at this point. I'm going through forever and now I'm starting to get like, oh, fuck, man, what if I can't find this? You know, I'm getting a little stressed. Finally, I find it. Great. Oh, my gosh, I find it. And as I'm turning to show her the phone, she doesn't even look, she's okay. And then she grabs this tablet, right? And I'm already like, you didn't even look at the tracking number and I'm just like, we have to do that. Yeah. Like, what is this protocol? It doesn't make a ton of sense to me. And then she gets out this iPhone type thing to sign, I go, okay, no problem. I sign and I go, I'm about to grab the package and she goes, no, we got to initial some places. And then so she finds and then one of the places to do an initial, I do one of the initials. I go to grab the box and then she goes, well, no, we got more and she's now she's scrolling through the thing and I, I, I, I just kind of snapped. I go, it misses, I go, I go, I go, I love you, but I'm taking this box. I got to go and I just grabbed my, I flexed her and I walk out and I get in the car and I go, I just said to her, I love you, but I have to take this box and I have to go. Okay. And I'm like, why, why did I say that? Why did I say? I love you. And then I was like, oh, it's because almost every time I have to, we get to that point with the kids and I got to go, I love you, but we're not going to that restaurant at nine o'clock at night. It's always, I love you. And here's terrible news. Right. And I'm so muscle memory fat. Just imagine you're hurt and I go, I love you, but I'm taking this package. Yeah. That's pretty wild. It's so weird. I think a lot of people are used to hearing that. I love you. I love you, but. Oh, okay. So maybe to her, she cannot do that. Like I say that. I got to get to the airport pick up a little girl, you know, that's, but, but I love you. What did you say that? I love you, but I gotta go pick up this ship and a little girl from another state. Wow. Yeah. Now, I have a question. So you pick up Delta's friend. Yes. And how is the car ride with you and this little girl just you two? Well, I know her so well now. She's around non-stop. Yeah, so I know we're really. well, she's at our house non-stop and I drive her home. Well, Delta obviously always comes when I drive her home. Right. That's what I think. I actually think like, I'm putting myself in the position of her. Yes, I was for her. That did cross my mind like, oh my God, you got to ride with somebody's dad for 20 minutes. That would scare me. I was scared of people's dad when she was getting, I'm starting to get panicked because I'm watching everyone come off this flight. And you know, often there's like, there's these huge gaps. Oh, I know. Some, someone's can't get their bag out or whatever. So I keep thinking, oh my God, she's not on this flight. Now what am I going to do? Like I have five mini panics. Yeah. And there was a huge gap. And I'm certain I'm watching the last first thing about the plane. Then this long, long gap. And then I see her coming at me down the gangway with this flight attendant. And she like looks at me and throws up like double pea sides. And I'm like, oh, she's a gangster. She didn't care at all about flying on her own. We've also taken this because I think I took her to Disneyland with Delta on her birthday. And she's the one that wanted to ride the rides with Ryan and I over and over again. Like the ones ever too scary. She doesn't give a fuck. Okay. Well, I love that. So she was fine. We did. But that's good for her because I, I would be so scared to ride with someone's dad. Sure. Yeah. And like, what are we going to talk like? Do I have to talk to him? I already had prepared like she, I know she, where she had been in that summer. I know who she's with. I know her family members. So I have many of questions to keep the ball rolling right home. And it was a lovely right home. And yeah, it wasn't awkward at all. Good. That reminds me when I was little, little or in middle school, I would go to my best friend Gina's house a lot. And her dad and mom were around a lot. But her dad picked us up a lot and he was still a very cool person, cool dad. And but like, yeah, I would be really quiet around her dad. And then he said once to Gina, he said, what's going on with Monica? Like she's so quiet. But then when she's in the room with you, like we can hear her, like she's like so exuberant. Yeah. And I was so embarrassed about that observation. It's been made. Okay. And I didn't like that, you know, because I was like, well, now I don't know what to do. Like I guess I need to turn it down or turn it up. Yeah. I didn't turn it up on the dad side. I mean, over time, I'm going to end up knowing in my whole life. So like over time, he did get the foamy. Yeah, yeah. But I was just taught to be like, don't talk to people, adults, you know? It'd be my preference. I'm never with a kid by myself. Yeah. That's just I would prefer to not be, you know. Yeah. Sure. I don't like, you know, there are times when I'm taking her home and maybe Delta's been told it's time to get ready for bed. And I always go, no, no, you're coming with me. I don't want to be alone. Yeah. I just, I just, you know, I agree. It's just preferable to me. That's one of my kids always present if I'm with someone. Exactly. And I would imagine the parents would prefer that too as I would prefer that mom joins or the friend joins. Yeah. Yeah. So interesting. It really is. Okay, we do a fact. Okay. Great. This is for Lizzo. Okay. Some facts for Lizzo. Yes. Does Kmart still exist? And then you said in Mexico, maybe. Yeah. Three locations do remain worldwide. Okay. Miami. Oh, wow. But it's a small format store operating in a former garden center. So it's not old kind came Charlotte, Omelie, US Virgin Islands. Wonderful. That might even be worth me planning a vacation around now. It says a larger department store. And then Guam. Guam. Also a larger department store. Great. But it says Kmart family. Yeah. I hate when things go under. Yeah. Yeah. It sucks. I told you I said that Kmart mansion was for sale. I think it's maybe even how that even came up. No, it didn't. Yeah. There's a mansion for sale and Michigan. Oh, my God. I think maybe even Jack White owned it or some some Detroit famous person owned it and bought it for like, I don't want to say 10 or 12 million dollars at one point. And then now it's for sale for like three seven or something. But it's this huge castle on like all this property. Why is it just declining in value? I think the same way these castles in England they cost so much to keep off. They're just like, you know, everything's 120 years old inside. And it's all separated by concrete and stone. You know, it's not easy to access. I just think it's a beat down to keep these things operational. Okay. Is Devils night only in Michigan? Yes, using the specific name Devils night for the night before Halloween, October 30th is primarily a Michigan tradition, especially a senator on Detroit, but says there are while other places do not call it Devils night, many regions across the US and the UK have a similar night of pranks and minor vandalism. They use different local names, mischief night. Okay. Not as fun. That's common in New Jersey. Parts in New York, Pennsylvania and parts of England. Goosey night. That's used in parts of New Jersey. Sounds like New Jersey. Well, we know New Jersey is cabbage night, common in upstate New York and parts of New England. Gate night used in places like Bay City, Michigan. Okay, Bay City. And then beggars night observed in areas like Des Moines, Iowa. I got to say we have the coolest name for it. Devils night. We go hard to the chase. Yeah. Goosey night is silly goose or pinch people's buds. Why? That's what you call goosey in someone. You do? Yeah, like it feels like a goose bit your butt. You never grew up or hearing that. My mom always says it. Oh, she did. Yeah, then he goosey. Oh, where you can say goose, the throughout. I think pinching buds is out of favor. It's very cute. I think it was an 80s thing. It was huge in my junior high and elementary. So 90s, 90s, 90s. But like no one was doing that. And I just loved how's that my locker. And so I felt someone pinched my butt. And I turned around. It was one of the rescue girls. And I loved it. It was so fun. I know. I just don't think it's in anymore. I don't think you're allowed to touch you grab anyone anymore. Well, if they're your boyfriend or girlfriend. Sure, sure. But even that I'm saying I don't think is like a thing. Delta does a lot of butt pinching with her friends. Well, she got that from you. But she didn't. I think she did. Okay. I was looking up some urban legends because we talk about urban legends. Now, which what do you want to hear? Do you want to hear 50 of the spookiest urban legends from every state? We go pick some states. Just a list of urban legends. That sounds dumb. But then the others are like from a long time. I want to do this one. Okay. It's from readers digest. Oh, bless from the past came our readers digest. Exactly. Urban legends. Okay. Do you want to pick a state? Yeah. I do. I want to pick Florida. Okay. I mean, we should probably say that to last. But okay. Ready. Yeah. Florida is Captain Tony. Since 1852, Captain Tony is the oldest saloon in Key West has been known to be haunted doors slam for no apparent reason and there are inexplicable banging noises and frequent ghostly visitations. But why? Well, the building itself has a long and storied history. One that includes being built around a tree that the town once used for hangings E and for being the side of the town's original morgue. Many died around that tree, including a young woman who allegedly murdered her husband and two sons. She was hangs in a blue dress covered in blood and she hasn't left the scene appearing to patrons as the lady in blue. Oh, wow. So there's more of a ghost story than urban legend. Yeah. I think these are those ghost stories. It says urban legends. I do. Do Georgia. Okay. Yeah. Cause let's see if we know. Yeah. We wait for a hot dog or a Pepsi bottle or a vacuum cleaner. Uh oh. I don't know this. Georgia. The song of the cell. Okay. As urban legend goes in 1848, Ellic and his wife Betsy. Was this gonna be in Savannah? Probably. Yeah. Both enslaved people. Okay. Bad start. Yeah. Gotcha. Georgia. Yeah. We're in their home one night when this is a bad. This is bad. They're they're master. Yes. We're in their home one night when their master drunken belligerent crashed through the door. He attempted to attack Betsy, but Ellic fought him off undeterred the master. I hate saying that. Uh huh. The master chased Ellic up a ladder into a loft. As the struggle continued, the master losses balance fell out of the loft and died. I don't I can't say I miss him. Even though Ellic turned himself into the sheriff the next morning. Oh, explaining that what had happened with self-defense, he was still charged with murder. Oh boy. A common occurrence in the antebellum South. Ellic was in prison in the old Lawrenceville jail. Lawrenceville's near me and later. And later executed unjustly for the crime. People say they can still hear his sorrowful song through the walls of the old jail. Oh, yeah. These are these are like ghost stories. All right. Let's look at Michigan. I hated that. And I'm disappointed. Yeah. The man. The word master, you know, it was it has so many different meanings and applications. And then this one, uh, gross one, and it's got the power to take down the word entirely. Like they've dumped it from master bedroom. I know. Uh, you got master cylinder. You got, uh, you know, but what if you're a master master master class? house. Do you hear mine? Master waiter. Yeah. That's. That was a funny joke. Okay. Ready, Michigan. Yeah. But what about people like that are masters at things? Don't you feel bad for them a little bit? No. That was a good distinction. I know. But he's a master carpenter or she's a master salad. I think you just say expert like we do. Okay. All right. What have this had been called? Armchair master. No. I wouldn't know about that. Okay. Okay. Ready, Michigan. The name Rouge. Ever heard of it? The River Rouge, which is red right in French. Mm-hmm. Do you know what name is? No. It's dwarf. Red dwarf. Red dwarf. Yeah. Oh my goodness. This is one of the urban legends still recognize today and is celebrated by the people of Detroit every year. They say there's a. They say there's a devilish creature known as the name Rouge, French for red dwarf, who causes mayhem in the city, small and red. This is devil's night probably, small and red with a piercing, cacklish laugh. He's thought to be seen when disaster is about to strike and is even said to be the reason for the Cadillac companies downfall in the city. Oh wow. Okay. Well, is he driving industry out of the city? I guess he hates his city. He's a rascal. Yeah. He's a devil. Yeah. Okay. Well, those weren't really urban legends. Not as we normally think of them. That was annoying. Now, a couple though, bloody Mary, we all know bloody Mary. Do you know what I mean? You don't know bloody Mary, where you can't say it in the mirror. A famous mirror ritual we're chanting and name multiple times in a dark room summons of vengeful spirit. I once had a sleepover and invited my friend and told her about this and she had to go home. Oh, God. You spoke to her that much. Oops. The hook handed killer. A cautionary tale about a maniac with a prosthetic hook attacking young couples parked in secluded areas. I think I've heard that one, started by the moral majority to prevent. I definitely heard of this one. Okay. The lick tan. A story about a girl who thinks her dog is looking her hand at night only to find the animal murdered and an intruder under her bed. I've heard this. Uh-huh. That feels familiar. Yeah. Again, like I was saying, the expert that was telling us about it is like it's these weird details that end up being sticky. So it's like licking the hand, right? It also makes it memorable. And the gentle coffin with the note and like, why would he, where would one get a, he's a woodworker? He made a miniature coffin. Oh, slender man. I part of that. Oh, yeah, yeah. I saw a doc on that. Yeah, me too. Okay. Now, can you catch things from a public toilet seat? You are extremely unlikely to catch an infection or sexually transmitted disease from sitting on a toilet seat. Yeah. Unless you're married. I know. That was what we already said. Okay. It says fragile germs. Most bacteria and viruses that cause STDs or illnesses die very quickly when they leave the human body and hit a dry, hard surface. Healthy skin acts as a strong protective shield against germs to get sick, live germs from the seat when you did directly enter an open wound or your mucus membranes, which is rare from simply sitting down also no, because you've never gotten your vagina on the edge of the seat. I guarantee you people have gotten their vagina on the seat. Have you? I hover. But a lot of people sit and I can see what if they kind of fall and then they sit and then they. Well, you'd have to sit on the corner of the toilet to accomplish this. No. And then let's just do the math. Yeah. You got to like side saddle the seat, which is insane. I just don't see that happening. Additionally, the person before you had to side saddle it to get the SCD on that area of the toilet. Side saddle. Okay. Let's say for the listener Monica's pointing at the little one where this is the toilet. Yeah. The you. Uh huh. So. Okay. The outside of your cheeks go on. Yeah. Ah. Now, because you would have put your butt cheek in the big hole and you would have fallen over to the side into the water. Look. I know. So if you're hovering, you're hovering. There's no. You would have been touching the front where there's no seat. Now the seats. Look at it. I'm going to take a picture. I don't. I'm interested in why you're incentivized for SCDs to be contagious on toilet seats. I'm not. I'm just trying to talk things through. Okay. As a woman who sits on toilet seats and you're a man. Well, you just told me you hover. But I mean, I have mine. I sit like you're a man. You stand. Yeah. So I'm not when I go over to. Right. So. But that's different. Okay. But also, um, it does say toilet, what you might actually encounter gut bacteria. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Toilets, he's gonna curious mom amounts of bacteria like E. coli or strap, disgusting. Okay. Uh, can you get an SCD from a hot tub? You cannot. From just sitting in or soaking in the water of a hot tub. Yeah. Um, they die very. Oh. It's such a good job. Yeah. Very quickly. Outside the human body. And there's chlorine. It says you do not catch an SCD from the water itself. Yeah. You'd have to be sliding down the handrail. Oh. Oh. So you're saying you could if you slid down and the, and someone else had just slid down. People have done that for sure. And they're doing it. Now in their vagina would rip it apart. You know that? Even your drunk estate, you would never think it was a good job dog bun, the handrail. I wouldn't. But I've been around so many people who are drunk and then they're trying to impress boys and then the boy size and I'm like, I'll be fun. And then they do that. Okay. Okay. Okay. What does Joel Olstein own, um, what does Joel own steam all great, a 17,000 square foot mansion in Houston, Texas valued at approximately $10.5 million to $14 million. His net worth is estimated between 50,000,000 and a hundred million. He does not take a salary from Lakewood church. His wealth comes from best selling book royalties, speaking engagements and media projects. So he, his mega church purchased and moved into the compact center, originally known as the summit in Houston, Texas arena. That was the home of the Houston Rockets. Did he ever own the Charlotte arena? Was he there? I don't think so. Oh, wow. A mega church owner that has the Charlotte arena. Okay. Unfortunately, you were wrong in run DMC. They wore adidas, not feelers. Makes sense. They did have a song about it. Yeah. Wonder who wore feelers. Well, Lizzo did. Okay. How to pronounce flutus, floutist. So it's based on region kind of chef's choice British English is flautist. American English is flautist, though flautist is also used. And it says the more common North American alternative pronounced flutist. So I guess any, but I would say flautist. I'm going to stay with flautist because it took me the longest to learn. You can't unlearn that. Okay. Now we talked about morning becomes eclectic and you said the guy that runs it like ended up doing a lot of stuff for music supervision. Was it Tom Schnabel or Schnabel? He was the show's originator. I know the person I'm talking about did some music placement on parenthood and I'm embarrassed I don't know. Was it, would you know what if I said it, it Chris Doritos Doritos it really sounds like that. That's. Could have been in Chris Doritos. Like hardcore. Yeah. Hardcore. Jason Bentley. I'm just I'm really sorry. I'm not going to end with novena Carmel and Anthony Validus. So lots of people were programming I guess. Well, these are over the course of time. Yeah. But if you were if it was parenthood that would have been 2012 that would have been Jason Bentley. Okay. That sounds right. Yeah. I'm trying to remember Larry telling me his name 14 years ago and I just don't have it. I understand. Yeah. Okay. What's a Colorado? Mimosa. Often called a Kolo Mosa. Hard cider based twist on the classic champagne cocktail made by mixing traditional hard cider with fresh orange and lime juice. Yummy. Okay. The top most viewed tiny desks concerts because you said Anderson packs was the biggest ever. You were just saying words. Yeah. Do a leap is the biggest 142 million views. Yeah. All right. Yeah. That was my introduction. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Let's get Anderson up there to the top of the list. Oh, remember. She said she has. Yeah. Underwatched. Yeah. Watchers first. But also let's get Anderson. In the number one slot. All right. Mac Miller. That. Yeah. Yeah. Somehow, and, you know, as I told the story, it's so great. It's so cool. Good for them, man. I know. I found. I found a phila. Two popcorn fields. Two box and some philas. Okay. That's cool. And he's in front of a Jaguar XJS. Yeah. It was for an insert of one of his albums. He wore them. The Grant Hill sneakers, Detroit Ding Ding Ding. player, Grant Hill, always let the league in triple doubles. Something just happened with Tupac. His murderer was convicted yesterday or the day before. - Wow. - Some 18 years later, whatever it was. - Wild. - Just think about having murdered someone and you've gotten away with it for like a decade. When do you start thinking like, well, I guess I'm probably-- - Yeah. - Breathe. - I think 14 years in, I would be like, I guess I got away with it. - Yeah, definitely. - Yeah. - Whoa. - Can never get comfy. - That's the one of the-- - Scary. - Prices you pay for being a murderer's. The rest of your life, you're like, am I going to prison? - Yeah. Do you think they like it? Kind of like what happened with Steve, the pool? Like, they kind of look it off on like. - Well, you know what, I have a little bit of a moral conundrum. Sometimes these people get brought to justice like 30 years after the fact you read about 'em. - I know. - When you read an 82 year old's getting sentenced to life, I kind of don't like it. I'm like, well, obviously they didn't kill a bunch more people or do a bunch more shit. - Well, unless they did like Robert Durst. - Yeah, for sure. - So I agree, if it's like a one and done, but it's still like-- - It's just like, well, fuck, they were already out for 30 years, they didn't cause any more wreckage. Do we really need to now spend money to make an old person die in jail? It gets tricky for me. - It is tricky, it is. - I wouldn't, it wouldn't be tricky for me. It was my loved one that was heard. - Exactly. I mean, outside of that dynamic, I just go like, what's this all about, what's the point of this, so that this guy can die in jail? - It depends also on the crime. - Yeah. - I think, maybe. I don't know. - Yeah. - Not saying anything, but just, okay, I'm not gonna say anything. - When do you want to tell me you can cut it? - No, because you'll be mad. It could be a spoiler, so I'm gonna say it. - Okay, okay. - Oh wow. You know about a core case, I don't know about. - All right, well that's it. - That was everything for Lizzo? - Yes. - Well, time's coming, I'm glad we got her. - Me too, so fun. All right, love you. - Love you. (upbeat music)