Living Single: Then & Now with Kim Coles & Erika Alexander

(upbeat music) - Okay, y'all, when I tell you, we've got royalty in the building today, sitcom legends Kim Coles and Erica Alexander. These are the women who raised us, made us laugh, and made us feel seen. You know 'em from living single, and now they're dropping gems all over again with their podcasts, re-living single. Let's take it back to Brooklyn in the '90s. No social media, just appointment, CV, baby. (upbeat music) No matter what we're doing in the car, just chilling, couple, Amazon music. Sit back and listen. Life loves sex, science hovers it all, especially the back of money that we keep on. No matter what it is, we can make it make sense. It's nothing else to do, but kick it with the homies and kids. So grab you a drink and a snack you enjoy. You get into the vibe that only works. - You know it's your business. This is kick it. Baby, this is kick it pola, yeah. This episode is brought to you by Airbnb. Tis the holiday season, y'all, from spacious retreats and dream locations to their guests' favorite most loved homes, perfect for family gatherings. Airbnb has amazing stays for every festive escape. Now, let's start the show. - Hey y'all! - Hello, kick it! - Oh my god, Kim Po, Eric Alexander. I mean, I love y'all so bad. When I was saying I gotta come on the podcast, re-living single. - It's not that happy, we're gonna have to have better snacks 'cause the snacks are wonderful. - So they have to really have the spread. - And the lights too. - I'm so glad that they took pictures to show them. - Yeah, 'cause I tend to take it to our crew and say, why? What's up? - I'm living, I'm living. I'm living for you guys being here. I'm excited because you did the questionnaire. You know we do this, we've been doing this. Maybe this is a key part of the questionnaire. So I can see how you guys, what the vibe was, y'all came in here with. So I'm gonna start with Kim first. The pre-show, pull up. Today, I'm giving secretly chaotic joy and sleepiness. - Yes, welcome, welcome. - So welcome to Menopause, you're all getting there. - I was just about to ask, sleepiness, is it because you actually didn't get any sleep or a lot on the mind? - Menopause. And I've been forgetting to do my estrogen, like a couple of days in a row, I didn't rub my estrogen gel and then I woke up and I woke up. - Wait a minute, so there's a thing called estrogen gel. - Oh, y'all, there's estrogen, you can put it in your vagina. - Oh, you can? - Okay, but you can, but you can. - Oh, there's a genie way. - You can, I do both. My boyfriend's younger than I am. So there's some estrogen gel. - So long. - estrogen, actually a pellet for insertion. There's a gel that you can put on your thigh. There's also, they can also put pellets in your booty. - So what's the difference? 'Cause I'll be honest, I had to go to the doctors. - In my butt. - At the top of your, the top of your thigh parts. - It's like a little pellet that, that slow releases into your system. I've tried it all. There's a patch. - Oh my gosh, because I heard about this. - You're gonna frighten her. - No, no, this is actually good information. Somebody told me, like you want to actually check, all of that stuff before the menopause and things start. - For pairing. - Like you know where your levels are. So you know what you need to get back to. - That's a good question. - So you can feel like yourself. - That's a great question. - Actually, I think it's important that we had this conversation. - Yes. - I also have a lot of test tests around. - Obviously, yeah. - Okay. - I found that out. And I thought it was just, I knew based off character. You know what I mean? But like, when I went to the doctor, they told me I said hormonally, I'm really just that. - You know that's called, that's you are woman king. - I'm a woman king. - I mean, the beat. - There's a lot of things that are built into that DNA, they're very real. So, you know, yeah. - It is what it is. So okay, I love it. We getting sickly chaotic a little bit of sleep in this shout out to menopause. Today's mood in one word, grateful. - Yeah, indeed. - We love a gracious coin. - Indeed. - For sure. - Indeed, for sure. - What did you listen to on the ride here? Now this gives me life because this girl is one of my favorites. All right, by Victoria Monet. - That's right. - All right. - She is so good. I love her. We had her on the podcast. - I got taste. - You got taste. - One thing that instantly makes you laugh. First of all, you're so childish and you're just like me, farting. - Farting. - Always. - It's hysterical. It has been from the beginning, well, to this day. - Yeah. - There are people laughing at the people who are farting. (laughing) - That people are smelling. The one who's smelt it, don't doubt it, it's not cool. - The doubt it, it's not cool. - I'm always the doubt it. - I grew up in a household with a mother who thought farting was delightful and funny and a father who thought it was the most disgusting thing. So I have this warp sense of farting. Oh, don't do it, but do it. But don't do it, but do it. So yeah. - You're not here for the farting. - And by the way, I believe you're about to. - It's not true. - You have to release your bowels. - You do. - It's not good to hold it in. - And I also give other people freedom to do so. - Yeah. - For be free. - You're being very impressionable. - Yeah. - You are just now, just, you know, a reinforcing thing. - That's the interviewer you're there. - Anyone that knows me is gonna be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I was excited to find out that you're capricorn. That's my perfect match. And then also, you're rising as a satch. My moon is a satch. And then your moon is what I see, that's what chills me out and gives me the spiritual grounded vibes. - I love that. I love what you're into it. It feels very on-brand that you're into this time. - Good, good. - I'm very on-brand. - I'm on-brand. - Very on-brand, yes. Okay, now let's get into you, that we're good. - Okay. - So today I'm giving grateful. - Yeah. - You guys are the same way. - You're gonna be. - We're the side of love. I'm here for that. - Thank you. - The love is in the air. - Love is important, love is all. - Today's moon in one word. Ooh, this is really good. I feel like we all feel like this. Sad, grateful, and then this is this, what does it say? - Disbelief. - Disbelief. - Why are you sad? - Yeah, yeah, because of this. - It's your show, I'm sorry. - No, no, to ask it. - Because of Malcolm. - Oh, Malcolm Jamal Lorner. - Rest in peace, Malcolm Jamal. - Lorner. - I was devastated. I just was talking about that before you guys came in. - Turning into somebody sent me a text and I looked and said Malcolm and I said, oh God, I don't even want to open it up. And there's, I'm sorry. - We know it, don't be, I actually said it too far. - Let's not tell Erica until we leave. - Because you guys probably know him. - Well, I worked with him on the Cosby Show. I was cousin Pam. You know, it's funny because he was playing older than me and he is younger than me by a year. - Oh wow. - So all of those things were being negotiated because cousin Pam was younger than Malcolm. So when I see him, I see him as somebody who, you know, you, I'm acting my age. - Yeah. - But then he was also a bear and he was smart. And he was good when I say that he lost a light. - Yeah. - That brother was good. So I'm just trying to just stay into love and grateful just police but also to say that we are here. And it's surreal to be in this space doing this and thinking this great iconic young man who grew up in the business and is now gone. - I think it's important to say important to bring up and just to pay respect to that. 'Cause it's like, you know, he is an icon. He's somebody that really we all grew up with amazing representation. And I wish we could get some of those moments back to watch him on the show. I mean, I know we know what happened with the show being removed but I do hate that we don't get to see those lights. You know that we never have those moments again. So rest in peace to Malcolm Jamal on there. Hate that he lost him. - Yes. - But what a blessing you got to work with him. - For sure. - Yeah, no one. And today and all of this year I think should be seen as talking about the things that we don't talk about but also rescuing the people who don't need to be caught up in those things. - Yeah, yeah. - And celebrating their work. - And celebrating them without answering it with things that they had to do with. - Exactly. - Yeah, I totally knew it. - I get the drift and what you're saying. - That's the truth. - Okay, let's go to one thing that instantly makes you laugh. That's a great way to come back and to get in the laughter. Puppies. Now, what is the puppies doing that so comical? - This, you know, it online. - I'm just thinking of Instagram. - Instagram has the funniest puppy thing. So I actually didn't know what to say after I put that. - Oh, I said puppies. - Puppies and kids. - I don't know. - Puppies. - I should've said farting. And then I would've, you know what I mean. Well, I know I should've said, I don't know, I'd love to smell farts. That makes me laugh. I'd love to smell farts. So we really get along. - Which you guys are so funny. - And then obviously last screenshot on your phone. No bleeding. Your phone's right beside you. So go ahead. - Oh, I didn't know that that was a thing, but okay. All right, here we go. Screen shot. - Y'all are funny as hell. - That's you. - That's you, that was me. - Aw. - I was wanting to show the producers the lighting. - Yeah. - So we get better lighting. - I'm like, I'm getting a shot of this. - I miss it is. - Get shots of this. - No one but I. - No one but I. - She looks like a million bucks. - Right. - You know. - Look at the shot. - But that would be clear lighting is everything. - I think it's 1,000% the difference between you looking like a million bucks and looking like 50 cents. - Look at this. - Literally. - It's not Z-Moto, yeah. - It's so literally 50 cents. - And she's not going to be in my hat. - I have an overlit. I love it. - We have the hagg lighting. - Yeah. - Literally. - Like, you know. - This is what you really look like. - Thank you. - I'm great lighting at home. - Yes. - Okay. Well, like I said, I'm so excited for answering the questionnaire. - Thank you. - I'm so excited to have you guys on the show. - At Essence Fest, I got to ask how it was for you guys being there. And obviously, every 10 years, there's a resurgence of people loving, living single. You guys being reminded of the fact that it's impacted. Not just your generation, but the continuously generations after. So how did it feel there at Essence Fest to see all that? Mama's daughters, kids. - It's always beautiful there to me. And to see all the shapes and sizes of all of us and all the delicious blackness of all of us. And every tone and shade and hair, the hair, oh, the hair, oh, the hair. (laughing) So I loved it. I've been there several times. But to go there with Erica and to have a moment on the main stage, specifically to talk about what we're creating with a re-living single podcast was delicious. And Erica keeps saying that the people state, like they came and they sat down [BLANK_AUDIO] They stayed and there's a lot of competition at Essence Fest. There's a lot going on. There's music going on of them. People giving out samples and all the things, but they came and they stayed and they listened and it was delightful. - Oh, how was the experience for you? - Essence is a legacy project that has been passed from each generation. And it's also, you know, in transition from itself because it's competing not only with, you know, all the different players, but also the different channels and internet and all those things, but we can come together in person and actually have a silent conversation and a vibe and sort of know that you're talking to all your people. You don't have to explain yourself. - Yeah. - Where else can black women do that? You tell me. On mass, I know Mary J. Blage has something. You're creating a whole world. - You're just talking about the legacy of what Essence always was and how it's continuing to try to maintain that. And in one of the only ways that we really meet IRL, most of the things are digital, you know, is we don't get it too. - What IRL in real life. - Okay, thank you. - Yeah. I went digital with my dialogue. - What did I learn? - I didn't learn my dialogue. If dialogue was some kind of show later, I should have said in real life the way it's too hard to say, I don't know why I didn't do that. - Yeah, but you know what? That's what you created though. You know, with Kiki World, the key world, that's real. But that's, to me, each generation creates that. But getting in person is it because that's when we make sort of, you know, breathe and do our thing. And so I was really very proud. And we had something to actually show them that they knew. Now this is 30 years, 30 years that people have been growing up. And then also to connect and sort of say, this is for you, but also we're doing it for ourselves. We have to lay down a template, a blueprint to show people what we've gone through, but also to create a new narrative. I know you're into narratives. - You know. - Otherwise you get hijacked. - You do. - So that's what essence is about is always trying to find a way to create narratives, but black women often don't have platforms for it. - And I love what you said about this when we're talking about the relief and podcasts is yeah, like what is the narrative? Us learning the stories behind the stories, the moment, the time and the air and from the people that were part of it. I mean, you guys are best friends. You're best friends on the show, but your best friends in real life, when did it become like that realization that Oh, no, we sisters for real. Was it during the show? Was it after the show was already off the air? When did y'all realize that it was like, yeah, we family? - I always say that I fell in love with Erica right away. And I thought that she was outspoken and sort of, you know, unusual and walked and talked and was different than other girlfriends I had had. And so I immediately was like, ooh, she gonna be my friend on the show. (laughing) I just like to, you know what, it was an instant thing. It was an instant thing. I don't think she felt that way about me. I love to, you know what, I love to tell the story, I love to tell the story that we were a couple of weeks and yeah, there's nine years difference. You know, Erica's nine years younger than me. So there's a young woman giving me the what for. - Okay. I think it's trash and garbage, but go ahead. ♪ Baby, this is, he keep on my, yeah ♪ - Oh, I just had the most incredible time in Chicago and I cannot stop thinking about it. I just hosted my debut Airbnb original experience and honey, it was absolutely everything. Let me set the scene. One amazing Chicago kitchen. Me and my pops bringing the energy, the coolest people ever and a local chef who was straight, fire. Okay, we weren't just cooking. We were creating magic, making memories and filling that space with so much laughter and love. This wasn't your average cooking class. Okay, we walked in as strangers with recipes and walked out as friends with stories. Dad had the whole room dying with his play-by-play commentary and watching cooking newbies turn into kitchen pros. Absolutely priceless. The food was restaurant level amazing, but what really got me was seeing confidence bloom and watching instant friendships form over every shared bite. Some of life's best adventures happen in the most intimate setting and you can find them through Airbnb experiences. - I've been chatting about some things going on behind the scenes and about someone in particular and I remember the day we were walking across the lot and it was early on, it was maybe third or fourth episode and she stopped to me and she said, I'm gonna have to stop you here. I think we're gonna be working together a long time and I really like you, but I'm not a gossiper. I'm a gossip, and I cannot engage in the gossipage of it all. And I like you, we're gonna be together and I just think that that is not the most healthy way for us to proceed in our friendship and in our working relationship. I was like, oh God, who's this 23-year-old girl telling me what? And she was right, and then two weeks later, we went back to gossiping. That's a true story, you know it. But she let me know and that I could trust this young woman to say to me, hey, wait a minute, we're going down a road that's not gonna be real cool. So let's check it and then we checked it. We checked it out. - We checked it out. - Okay, so she just wanted, we just did a show on, God, one of our episodes was about gossip and I think gossip is really, I just, I wasn't, God, I was just, I needed to have a way to vent and go like, I'm seeing this, are you seeing this too? 'Cause I respected you. - And also, I'm downhill ever since, but anyway. - I love what you said about gossiping though, because I do like to gossip and I think that, you know. - You're just checking it. - I feel like, just say, hey, are we clocking the same tea? And just get it, now I don't want, no, let's not be messy. - No, no, no, that's not mess nobody life up. That's not going to make his scene. - And they were rumors or lies. You just said rumors lies and trash. It was just, it was, it was just like, I'm saying this is, this don't seem right, and what do you think? - I said lie is trash and garbage. - That I was lies to get garbage. Okay, so who was it about? I won't, I'll never tell. I'll never tell. - And I can't even remember, the thing is that she's, as you see, a force of nature, we're next to the hurricane here. - Remember, everybody's bringing their own local weather, I'm just trying to say steady. - There are no local weather conditions. - I'm between these two freaking people. - You are the turtle. - I don't know idea. But you know, I just said, you know what, I, okay, not right away, because she can be intimidating. That kind of energy can be intimidating. - Yeah. - And so I recumb to this set and kind of look and see if she was there already and then go, "Oh, she's there, let me come back." You know, really? - No, I'm lying. - I'm lying. - I'm lying. - But I had to come and withdraw with something. - I'm lying. - Okay, right. No, you know, no. - Did you tell me that you saw me at Macy's one time before we worked together and you said hello to me and I was, hello, how are you? - So that was a good question. How familiar were you guys with one another work before working with each other on the show? - Well, she was on in living color. - Of course. - And then she stand up. - Yeah, but I hadn't seen the stand up because, you know, at the time it wasn't, but in living color was the biggest thing on. Incredible character work, I mean, your impressions. - Yeah, and I'd been cousin Pam. Most people hadn't seen what I was doing because I was doing a lot of drama. I'd done, you know, plays off all the way. - I was, you were doing a lot of stage work. - A lot of stage work. - We did a stage work together. - Yes, you did. - You did. - We did. - We played a lot of 10 years ago. - Are you kidding? - Yeah. - That was the first time we met, I think, unless it was at a award show or something. - Yeah, and that was, yeah, we did stage together, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, I admire Kim very much, but what I found out about her that I didn't know was that the thing that she's doing, that's the, she's the great connector. So in a way, you talk about, you know, gossip and that type of stuff. The way she plays it is as a sort of ammunition to bring people together, to make them feel comfortable, to give them immediate permission to speak to each other. We're all laughing, and so she's really great about, that's her real gift. - Thank you. - And that is definitely a gift. Going back to that first dummy, I don't know how you guys got your roles, if it was auditions, if it was offers, but you get there on that first day of said, you find out before you come who's all gonna be there. Was it a table read? Well, you know, when did you all get together for the first time and start realizing, okay, we're making a show, and what did you just think about it at, like going back to that time? - It was a table read. - It was. - The show, Latif and I, each had deals. They create the show around the two of us. Yvette Lee Bowser was brought in to be the creator. John, Erica, T.C. auditioned and got the show. Kim was also chosen, you know, it was- - By Yvette. - She had a conversation with Yvette was brought in. So the first time we all meet is at the table read. I always say, I knew immediately that this felt like, it felt good. It felt great. - Partially because for me, in living color didn't feel good. In living color sketch comedy shows are notorious for being highly competitive, highly pressurized, experiences. And I wasn't used to being in a competitive environment like that. - Yeah. - This felt collaborative and cooperative. And this felt like home to me immediately. - Mmm. - But that was PTSD, you know what I mean? Anything feel better than that. - Well, that's life though. Contrast. - Yeah. - They'll come to really love- - It's just so interesting when you say that about, 'cause I did SNL, I just hosted. - You did, but they would say the same thing. - You know, for these stories, there's horror stories of sketch with that, yeah. - Yeah. - And my thing is, it seems so kind of productive because how do you create such great material in that environment, but yet somehow people do, and people did. - Yeah, you're interesting. - Genius, these genius, like Lauren Michaels, I think, created a, it's just a, what you do is you shake it up and you make people really work for it. - Is that what happened? 'Cause you can tell us. - Well, she actually said it exactly right. - But Lauren, he's very much like, no, no, no, no. Go back to the drawing board. This is what, he doesn't necessarily overly influence the artist's creativity. And I think that's probably purposeful. Like, you had a voice, tell me what your voice is. But he's gonna challenge it and he's gonna ask you why. He's gonna continue to push until it makes sense to him. If it doesn't work, then he's gonna be like, you need to go back to it. - But that's actually what a great leader does. Like, well, what else you got? How can we make that better? - 'Cause you don't have to let them have their voice. Otherwise, you don't get anything new, no interesting material. What did you do? You feel like you took from that experience that helped you with, uh, live a single appreciation of of others' talents. You know, I'm a standup comedian and standup is a very singular sport. And although I had a tribe of other comics that we all, you know, perform together, you're still on stage by yourself. I grew to appreciate watching others develop, like watching Jim Carrey create was magnificent. What type of film is that? I mean, Tommy Davidson created Sweetheart. Jim was a quiet and genius at the same time. You just watch him take something and go, okay, I'm going to fold my body in half now. Like what? What does that mean? Why was that the choice? Right. And it was the perfect choice. Tommy Davis is watching each time. Tommy Davis is so incredible. Tommy Davis has been a lot of time observing others and what their process was. Yeah. And that was valuable. I love that. Especially with an ensemble, you know, another version of Ensemble Cast. So you coming in, you had just been doing stay a lot, a lot of drama. What was it like for you coming to show the, was there nerves? Were there excitement? Maybe both. No nerves. No nerves. I'd been on the biggest show in the world. Cosby show. Yeah. That's nervous. Just right here. This is. We were nothing. You know, there's a big pyramid in Egypt and then there's a small side pyramids that was inside my, once you go in the big house, you don't worry about the guest house. I mean, really, you're not, I mean, but you know, she's right about something about ensembles. What I learned at Cosby show was that there were two different types of performance happening and you had to do it simultaneously. There was, okay, maybe three. There was the one that was happening on stage with the ensemble that you say, it's not a monologue. It's a dialogue. There's a conversation going on. You have to be open to it. You have to have everybody feel balanced. You throw them something. You let them throw it to you. You can't just step on their thing because then everybody feels pressured. So there's that and then there's the audience who's going to come in and they're going to add them. There's another character in it, but there's these cameras. If they don't catch it, then it ain't on stage. It didn't happen. Yeah. So you have to be aware that they're popping in in the back and the directors doing their thing. That's being a gracious actor. I really do appreciate it. But also aware and also all your senses are heightened. I didn't understand that on the Cosby show. I kept asking Mr. Cosby and Ellen Falcone, she was our director, said, who do I act for? The cameras or the audience? And that's what you're asking because you had done stage. You had been already doing stage at the time. You done stage at TV. And this is what I love about Multi-Cancid. It's both. I love it. It's both. I'll have now all the same time. It's both. But you were kind of conflicted in the little bit of what. Because what Cosby said, he said, well, the audience, because you know, he's stand up too. Yeah. Ellen said, the cameras, make sure that they're watching it. I realized they were both right, by the time I got there, I was like it's both. But also you have to just stay in the moment and you have to manage the discipline to wait. But to also be ready is what stage gives you and you're not acting for the cameras and waiting for them. You're not in between chilling. Right. Ellen would say, stay in the place. Stay in the place. Stay in the place. Stay in the place. And the comedy is so you worked with Ellen too. And what she did most of our. Most of our scenes. Yeah. Wow. So just to that point where you were saying, you know, we're talking about comedy. We're talking about stand up. We're talking about sketch. But we're also talking about your style of comedy. What did you learn up until the point of going into living single, which obviously you're so hilarious on there about your style of comedy, which is all grounded? That I was funny. I was thought I was funny, but I wasn't getting that feedback in performance at all because I'd been doing drama and I was more of a cut up than people knew. But it's just that I wasn't being cast in those roles. I was cousin Pam. When I got there, they wanted me to set the table and suddenly, you know, start talking about, you know, condoms and going, yes, okay, I'm going to, oh, I'll make sure, you know, whatever. I don't even know what that's about. But then here I'm with people who are my peers. First of all, I needed to be with people who are my peers because you can act in a form and cut up. It's so different. Yes. It's so fun. There's a narrative nature between peers that's real, but also if there's respect, then it's not, you're not, you know, trying to, you know, it's a healthy competition. But more importantly, they weren't watching me. They were watching them. That's not true. It was true. You say that. No, I know. They weren't watching that. Who's that? That's what I was saying. Who's that? Yeah. Coles and Latifa were being watched like hawks. They were not watching me. I was the dark horse in the room literally. You're kidding. I'm not kidding. And so what do you mean by that? You mean the audience is not watching you, the studio is not watching you a little bit above? Let me say who they is, the studio and the network. Cool. Right. They don't watch nobody. No, and plus I think that they were watching also to make sure because again, Latifa was new in that space. She had not done sitcom. I had. Kim Fields had. They weren't watching her. Kim Fields is a veteran. She's a prodigy. I mean, her mother, her dad, her sister, they say something a little bit about Kim Fields. Because you're a prodigy. It's somebody who comes in, who naturally is gifted, who has sort of been like the Hannah God, Destiny would have found you anyway. Biology is destiny. You have it on your face. But also it's in your DNA. She was like that. And once she got the opportunity, she was in it. She didn't need minding. She just needed y'all to let her talk. You say cook. Do her thing. Let her cook. She'd been doing it forever. Now, there were people on the set that hadn't been doing it forever. So they were watching you. I was a guy. I'm sorry, kid. They were. They were watching you in Latifa. And I didn't get notes like they got notes. I didn't get watched. I needed that space to develop who Max was. And people started telling me who she was. I'm such a good girl. I might have done it. Like, okay, let me do this. Let me do that. I just need them to leave me alone. And then suddenly it would click in. But I already knew. But I had the haircut. And that haircut did a lot for me. The haircut's iconic. It is. I mean, it's iconic. I'm trying to do the look for a movie now. Lily sent them your reference. Yeah. That's never going back. Go to Deborah here. Why should you be you? Absolutely. I mean, you know. Do it. But it's interesting. Can I give a perspective and just we've never talked about this before. So you always say they were watching you. And I never understood what that meant. But here's what's interesting. They were watching you. And I want to tell you why they were watching. Okay. Because we're going through on reliving single the podcast. We're going through every episode from the beginning on through. And when you look at, you know, as you know, the A story and the B story, you got A stories immediately. You got heavy. Not heavy. I don't mean heavy and difficult. I mean, you got real powerful moments. And what did you say? Prominence. Like, prominence. They were watching you because they knew that you could, you could bring it on. And so I know you talk about being, you know, one of the last hired and being, you know, brown skin and living. But that's also something. So they were watching you because they knew that you could, like, you brought it on home. So somebody knew that you were funny. Somebody knew that you were talented. I have something to do. I can handle it. But there's also. I do theater. There's also something interesting that I'm hearing that's being said here too is like, you guys had a lot of weight on your back. You did. You did one of the first things you said was that the show was built on the back of you and queen. I said. So it's like, what did that feel like knowing that if the show's not a hit, we might be playing. That's a good one. They made the show for us. Right. Yeah. I didn't think about it for an instant. Thank God. But, you know, I wasn't, I wasn't concerned at all because I knew that we were each supporting. You know, Latifah, she was new to, she had done a few sitcoms. I think she had done with, but also there's this thing with us with black folks where it's like, okay, we're looking for you to do it. And if it ain't a hit, it's over with. So it can sometimes be, maybe my naive, maybe I was just so grateful to be there. And so I had had a couple of holding deals and finally, this one had landed. I was like, oh, right. Yes. And so I was like, I saw who I was working with. And I was like, oh, I'm, this is going to be, I didn't think about it. Well, you could just be somebody they had to foresight, that vision to know, this is it. This will not be failing. This is the purpose situation. Good. Y'all looked up. The stuff we were using. But I also know that there was more watching of you than you know. Just letting you know. Okay. There was. Okay. They can let it go, Kim. You don't have to go. Because you don't talk. No, but it's funny that you didn't feel it. You didn't certainly have a thing. But I think that's a strength that a lot of people should have. And I would like to hope and believe that things are changing in our industry. But we, you know, as a minority, as women, when we get these opportunities, they put all this money behind us. There is a lot of that going on that you can't, you really do have to silence. You can't really think about it. It's like my opportunities, my opportunity. I'm going to show them. Do my best. No matter what happens. But the show obviously not only was a hit, but it's become one of the most iconic shows in culture. When did you guys realize the impact of the show? How soon from its airing did y'all realize we got it, they ain't going to let up. This is the ****. Because the folks will tell you, right? The folks on the street will tell you. The story I always tell of the, well, you know, we were told that we were a black show. And I know Erica has her, she'll explain to you a feelings about the term black show. But we were told that this was a specific audience. This was the demographic. These were the people. And when I was in Bank of America on Santa Monica Boulevard in West Hollywood, and this little old Jewish man came and squeezed my arm, I love you girls. I love that show. You girls are beautiful. You remind me of Brooklyn. I love all of you. And he kept squeezing me. And I don't know if it was harassment, but I was taking it. I live for you. I love you. You tell the queen. I love the queen. I love all you girls. I love it. I knew that we were a hit. because that wasn't the demographic at all. But he got it, he resonated, and he loved all the-- - But that's the thing when you play truth. And I always tell this to people, whether you are black, whether you are Latino, whatever people consider to not be mainstream, everybody wants to see everybody's life. - Yeah. - You know, I wanna watch something that I've never seen that doesn't mirror me. So why wouldn't somebody wanna watch my world when it doesn't mirror them? - And also look to see how they can find the resonance. Like he resonated with it, and it met something to him. - 1,000%. - Yeah, but that's what segregation is about. It's about somebody saying in some role, who doesn't understand that creativity has no borders. - Yeah. - And that's why black people are the biggest culture makers in world history. Because we didn't colonize people in mind. They allowed us in, and that is the power of soft power. The vision that we put out there were from people who were enslaved. But if you look at what we put out there, it was a vision of the future. We're Afro-futurists. And we created America before it even existed. But we did it through the only means we have, which was the power of speech, the power of moral authority, but also creation, creativity, music, dance, all of that, with no joke. - But then so much of that also, which I'm sure we've felt, is the performance of survival. That sometimes ends up making you flamboyant. Like my mom has this story about me when I was a kid. And I think it's like when I really realized that my form of survival would be performance, I was about to get a weapon, okay? And my daddy was like, so what my mom and daddy's sitting and looking over me, so what you think need to happen to you? And I said, I guess I'm just had to get dealt with. Like, oh boy, Friday. And my parents started laughing. I said, who the fuck? No, we'll be tonight. I guess I'm just gonna pull out the jokes. So anyway, insane that. I guess I'm just gonna have to get dealt with. Are you laughing? Are you laughing? You know, are we insane now? - Yeah, exactly. And so with that being so much of our culture does come from survival. - We're resourceful if we're nothing else. But then it becomes a point where I'm sure as performance we know is like, what is after that survival? And also when you're representing an array of different black characters, how are we bringing those nuances to the screen? Because people had not seen the kind of characters y'all play. I'm telling you that your character Kim is so important because we don't get to be like that. - The awkward black girl. - Yeah, like girl, that's how we have Easter egg. Now we have Quinta Brunson. Now we have these types of characters. But that was the first time we've seen just like, oh, well, okay, it was like we get to be that. We don't have to always, you know what I mean? And we get to see a woman saying, I don't really care about marriage. Men who, I'm here to get this money. I'm here to be this boss. We didn't always see that. So, you know, what was it like for you guys from that beginning of your characters to knowing we have such a long journey ahead of us to bring all these stories to life? Like how did you, how heavy was it for you to take it on? And then how much of it arrived to you through just experience and age? - Mm, and the age is real. - You know, 'cause we learn more. - Age is real, I love it. - Age is true. - It's true. - It didn't feel heavy to me. And again, maybe that's just my way. I don't have other things that felt heavy. This has not. And the weight of it didn't feel like weight. It felt like we're performing. We're showing these characters. We're showing something that has never been seen before. I don't think I ever felt the weight. Maybe I felt the weight when there was a potential that we were gonna be canceled. And the audience was like, no, you can't go. And, you know, there was no social media. There was no campaign. You know, you had Tom join or telling people to write water books. - Oh my gosh, love to do it. - Tom join or won the show. - Don't take me back. - And so, I felt the weight of people wanting us not to go away, but I don't think I have ever felt the weight of the pressure and how I have to be. - Does the pressure be in the black performance? What are we gonna do? - I feel the weight. - I've felt it too. - I feel the weight of that. - Because, you know what, so I was discovered in a basement theater called Freedom. New Freedom Theater in Philadelphia. And my mother sent me to a six week program in the fifth week movie came to town. It was an emergent ivory film called My Little Girl. Now, they told us they'd need a brown black girls and all of us wanted to audition because why not? And I ended up getting the role. Suddenly I got a sad card, I got health care, all that type of stuff. Now, here's, let's talk about weight. Up until that point, my story had been, I was one of six. I'm the child of two orphans. I spent the first 11 years of my life in a hotel called Starlight of Route 66 in Arizona, in the mountains of Arizona. And my father was an itinerant preacher, Kojik, and my mother was a teacher. Pressure comes depending on how I think you grow up. If you get an opportunity like that, the last thing you want to do is drop the ball. You don't want to make people ashamed. You don't want to make the people who didn't get that role feel like why did they choose her? And then once that role went further because the great Pat Golden, who was the cast and director, called my mother and said, "I think Erica can have a career." She needs a legitimate agent and got me an agent and that got me into other doors. Suddenly, you don't want to let them down because they told me, my mother tells the story, she's here in the studio. She said, "We don't take kids, she's a teenager." But the only kid we have is Michael J. Fox, but we're gonna take Erica. Now, that's a big deal. And suddenly, everything is weighty. Yes. Because you literally want to perform. You're in the room with-- Survival. Jason Weaver's playing by the-- Everything was weighty. And by the way, it's the deep end all the time. It was never like, here's, work it out, learn. It was always the deep end. Cosby Show, first comedy, Royal Shakespeare Company, first tour, you know, you're doing Broadway. That's exactly how it was for me. That's fresh. Thank you. It's the same childhood. The same kind of thing from a very small town south suburbs and not the kind of suburbs that you're looking for it to be in. Come on. The kind that you could have been the city, but you just have to be rural. Parents, my dad worked a factory job all my life. I remember when he was taken money daddy at 3, 4 a.m. when he goes. He's going all day coming back late at night, steel toe shoes, car hard before it was fashion. My mom was a teacher. She was in and out of actually multiple jobs. That woman that's just trying to keep her dream alive. And you're watching her and you're trying to reach her because she's trying to reach herself. And so that's what it was for me. And then here I come, being this entertainer and saying, well, why can't we do the thing? Why can't we dream big? Why can't we follow the yellow big road? Then we actually go, y'all actually we actually drive four days and three nights to California. And now I've got to make it happen. Got to. I've got to make it happen. And when I tell you that I made it happen. But what's your day? Yeah. Oh, look. Baby, this is Kiki Braumer. You know what? So what? So what? Of it came from that saying. It's so interesting how it's different. But I'm going to say this. OK, I'm hearing you all talk. So my pressure-- so I didn't have the pressure from the childhood stories, from the coming up stories. My-- I had a trajectory. I started doing stand-up in 1985. Within three years, I was on national TV. Within another year, I was on in-living color. So things-- I had a trajectory that which-- Yeah. Right? My pressure, my difficult times, didn't happen till I was already famous. So I already had tons of money to-- I already had all that-- so my breakthrough or break down or that moment of like, oh, now I've got-- I have parents who are educated. But I dropped out of college four times. My father has his doctorate. My mother's also a teacher. So I felt that my aunties are all educated. So I'm feeling like, who am I to have all of this money and success? And I haven't even finished my schooling. And that's what matters to all of them. They're like, glad you're on TV. My father-- until he passed away in '94, was like, so are we going to go back to college? I'm like, daddy, I don't have time to go to college. I'm on a seven household day. I'm on a household day. But are you going to go back to school? I remember I spoke at a college. And he came-- it was in North Carolina. And he came to visit me. And he says, you know, they would matriculate you, Kimberly. I'm like, I'm matriculating. I'm matriculating to me out. All right. I'm matriculating-- Kimberly, they would-- I'm sure they would work a program with you. I'm like, yeah, daddy, so that pressure was to become something that my parents wanted me to become. And I've told the story before of shopping through all of my money because I didn't think I deserved it. So my-- that pressure didn't come until I had already arrived. And it was like, how do I maintain it? What do I do now when they're not calling? What do you do when you don't look like the bava-bava-vroom girl? So I felt the pressure, too. I just didn't feel it at that time on a living single, I should say. It came at a different time. And it's about maintaining. I remember seeing Diane Carroll spoke at the essence-- you know how the essence women of Hollywood think. And this is many years ago, and she stood on stage and they were honoring her. And she was like, oh, the maintenance. Like, you got it. She said, oh, the maintenance. You got to maintain all of this. Or then you look-- so there's that pressure that I feel now. I didn't feel it at the ages that you all were. So what do you do with that, right? Like, if we're going back to that time and that era of the living single, when it first came out, and then who you were then and who you are now, and how you looked at performance then, and how you look at performance now, I want to know the difference because for me now, it's 23 years or so. And I'm at the transitional point of how I feel about performance. I always will love performing. But it changes for us. Something-- How does it change for you is what I like to do. Yeah, that's what I like to do. So a bit of what I was saying is, my performance used to come from survival. It came from not necessarily that it was enjoyable. but it was a joy in rebellion. It was, I'm gonna be happy in spite of. I'm gonna make this happen because I know I can. But now it's like, I'm good. I don't have to, who am I saying that too? The conversation with the audience has changed, so it changes the way that I approach performance. I'm not telling it from the place of joy for rebellion. I'm telling it from the place of joy as embodiment. So what does it look like? And how do we move, what changes in the narrative? Now I'm not talking about Kiki Palmer is me. Kiki Palmer's the product is the conversation that I built around something I was trying to say. And now I'm moving into showing you that I was the person behind it all the whole time. And so it's different, it changes. I still love it, but the conversation is different. And so I wanted to know from you guys, as I'm making that transition for the first time, 'cause obviously it happens multiple times. - Yeah, sure. - What does it, what it did look like for y'all when y'all started having that conversation? - So it does happen multiple times. And you don't know when it's gonna happen or what shifts, it's inner attention shifts. And it can be out of boredom, growth, and necessity, I feel. And I need to do it is usually out of this, you know, you're dissatisfied with either performance or maybe you think, if I shift, will I get those opportunities and that type of thing? So I can tell you that I didn't know how to perform or act. I just knew I did. - Yes. - And people will tell you you're good at it. And then they'll tell you you're great at it. And then they'll tell you, and then I could feel their pressure to be like, oh, she's wonderful at this watch. And I actually didn't like that scrutiny because I didn't think I did well with their pressure of like, she's gonna be great. Because it didn't give me room to make mistakes. So I knew I could no longer have their expectations rule what happened when I got here. In fact, I would have to not ignore them, but I would have to dismiss the results all together. So then I needed to go in and say, I could fail the day and I probably will, but I showed up and I'm prepared. And I must try something new. I have to wake myself up in the moment. And if I go up on my lines, it's okay. I will find them. If I feel suddenly like my heart be going, I said, I know that's adrenaline in your sphere and you can try to come back to yourself. But if I don't, they can't eat me. - They can't eat me. - I will go home. - They can't eat me. - That consumption is so real. - They can't eat me. And what I needed to know was that no matter what, that I would come home to the same pillow, whatever, and I'd be able to start again, even if I never came back to show biz. And that was a powerful move because up until that point, I had been performing from this whole thing or she is a child that can do this and watch the wonder kid. And I was like, no, I'm not. I'm a person who knows how to play the piano and I'm good at it. But if I can't make my own mistakes on that damn piano, then it ain't my piano. It's yours and I'm playing your music. So let me let it go. Let me make my mistakes. I don't care if I don't cry today. It doesn't need to happen. I can do the truth of who I am in that moment and still get a beautiful scene out of it. But you know how long it came before I, I mean, I had diseases of stress. I had breakouts. I had all the crazy stuff that you had. I couldn't even sit one time. I was doing a mini series and they'd put a chair down 'cause I didn't, I couldn't stand my back. Yeah, it was crazy. It's stressful. It was stressful. But then later on, I thought, okay, I'm doing better. And then I worked with an actor that I admired. And they did something on set that criticized me. And I had no idea that that person had, I'd given them that power, but I didn't know. And for years afterwards, I did that they do. You don't have to tell me the person if you don't want to. I don't want to tell the person, but what happened was-- - You tell us outside? - Yeah, I'll tell you. - I'll tell you something. - Really quickly, very quickly. It was a situation where I was on a set that was mostly men. That helped me. - That's it. - And there was very few black people on it. That person and me. And there was a new scene that came in in this heavy players. And they wrote it from my character. Probably because I'd be the one that would squawk the least. Now at the time, I had a memory that was no joke 'cause we were just doing living single. And I looked at the page, thought I knew it, and said, let's do it. The director said, let's run through it before lunch. And me instead of just reading it, like I should have, I tried to pop off with my memory to show people again. This is what-- And I suddenly turned at all these famous faces were looking at me. And I would hold. It's like I was a ghost. And I had even felt my heart beating a thousand. 'Cause I didn't even know what that feeling was. And I was like, it's okay, darling. Just read the page. You have plenty of time for lunch to learn it. And the person said, oh, we're gonna be here all day. - No! - No! - How dare you. - Let me tell you something. The only black people on that set, and this is the person I admire. And I, whatever. And so I get through it. I grab a PA and I said, you need to go on my room. We need to run this. I run it, run it, run it. I come in, I got my game face on. That person is there. They're never there because they called them last. Always called them last. They're setting there. And he knows, I've now given up another piece. He knows what he's done. And he says, Erica, it's just a film and they got a whole closet of it. I said, yes, and they will not be using that on me today. I said down and I did it and I did it and I landed it. - One, take Alexander. - Well, here's what I'm calling you. There were many cameras, so you know, whatever. But that was a problem. I had been known for doing one or two takes. But I didn't need to be known for that. I just needed to be known for satisfying myself and a scene. You get these things. So here I am, I get through it. But then now I'm afraid of sets. I'm literally shaking and I'm afraid of my memory. My memory, I had no problem with memory. - Because now you have no memory. - I have no memory. - Just what everybody said about you and now that's projected you to believe that you're no longer who you think you are. - That's right. - Because y'all said I was this and then now I had one human moment and now suddenly I'm not this and now my identity has changed myself. - Well, because that wall was erected before that person showed up. - They put this on you. - Right, that person just pushed the last one over. I gotta tell you, it took me 10 years or more to feel comfortable on a set. And I still talk myself way through it all the time. And that's why I live. I go there and I said I must live in the moment. I must make my mistakes out loud and I will go home. But I will not let anyone person have permission to do that to me again because I need to own myself. And if it happens, I'm gonna take them aside and say that I'm gonna have to do something because I didn't even know I had a power to. So long way to go to say you can be in the business and think that you've mastered it, you have not. Something else is gonna come and undermine it and just be prepared to know that you can shift what you've got work to do. - Yeah. - I had work to do on myself. - Same. - It's horrible. - I remember the question. But it was about the thing. - It was about the thing. - Yeah, yeah. - Performance shifted. - You know, because we experienced so much. - Performance or life or. - I think for performance, your relationship to performance which is why you started performing and then what it became for you. Because I think the reason why I asked is, 'cause like I said, I'm coming up against this, right? I'm 32 this year. I've been doing this for, since I was nine years old, but I've seen it, right? Like Eddie Murphy, he just started doing movies again after not doing them for 20 years. And Zell didn't do movies for many years. You know, you see people that have been doing it for a long time, their relationship changes over time. And so I started to feel, okay, I'm having a shift. The first one was for necessity. I went from traditional to digital for necessity. And then now it's more just, I've matured into someone new. I don't know, so I'm just curious for you. What has the conversation around performance been? Just, I'm making y'all laugh on stage too. What am I saying to y'all really? Over that. - Right. I think after living single, I went into a depression. Number one, I wasn't with my friends every day. Number two, I wasn't getting that chick every week. - Girl, that hurts. - Girl, that hurts. - Getting that free food all the time. I went into a shopaholic, my vice was shopping. Some people smoke and drink and have sex. Mine is shopping. Shopped it all away, part of it, the self-worth. I don't deserve having this. I'm just a girl from Brooklyn. I don't deserve any of this. I just watched Carol Burnett on TV and I was like, that's what I want to do. I didn't go to school for it. I was like, you know, so that whole coming to it and having trajectory quickly and feeling as if I hadn't fully prepared for it. It's not until you get in it and you're given the opportunities that a lot of times I was, it's all hard. The thing about the business is that even no matter how prepared you are, you're still learning on the job. There are things that they will never teach in a school. Because you need a camera guy to go, sweetie, step up, step up here and turn your eye this way so I can get you. They're not teaching that. You learn that all of a sudden. I can't absolutely not. So I'm open to constantly learning, constantly expanding. Robin Givens hired me to do a film which is hysterical because I did Robin Givens on in living color and it was, you know, it's a sketch. It's not kind, it's not kind, of course. I remember saying, you know, doing a bit about her on stage and her people contacted me and she said, "I saw that and don't worry, I'm not mad at you. We're gonna work together one day." I was like, "Oh my God, Robin Givens saw it." And she hired me to, I didn't have to audition. She said, "You can do this and it was a dramatic role." I was like, "I can't do this." And on the set, she was there and saying stuck. 'Cause I would go to comedy 'cause that's my safe space. She was like, "Stop it." She got in my, she's put this, big. Got in my face. Stop that. You've got this in you. That's why I got you. I knew you got this. Let's do this. I'm like, "Okay, Robin Givens." And so I was willing to be, you know, shape shifted into something new. And so I think the answer is being willing to grow, being willing to learn, being willing to have someone tell you, "I see something and I'm going to find it in there. We're going to work it together." She, we worked together to find this, to find this moment that she is the director could see, you know, on her video village monitor that I was like, "I'm just going to go to comedy because that I can do that. That would be fine. We got that take now. Let's get something else." I was like, "How dare you, Madam? I will imitate you again." So anyway, the answer is, I think, just being willing to grow. Look, oh, okay. One thing I said I would never do other than porn. Why would I? And no one's asked. Thankfully, yes. Well, only fans. Only fans, I might need to buy some more hair. So you do what you got to do. Y'all, the holidays are coming up so soon. And you know what that means. We've got some serious shopping to do. But I'm not even stressing, okay? Your girl stays prepared. 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I'm going to get this roll. It's yours to lose. We're going to read you for this roll. I got Angela Gibbs, Marla Gibbs daughter, to be my coach for this. I can humble myself to go. I can't do this on my own and I don't even really want to do this. Let me get some help. Angela, will you coach me? We just worked together on a show and we did a two, three hour session to get me ready just for the audition. And I got it. I thought this is the thing I said I would never do. It's so cool. I grew so much. I'm now working with Deirdre Hall who's been in the business for 750 years. Jim Ed with his last name. Listen, the memory, they look, they got it. I'm like, she's 700 years old and she's got it. That's what keeps them young and nimble. And I think we get so in our industry industry so strange. We get into these places where suddenly we decide things are no longer in. You know, where it's like, you know, you'll have this idea about soap opera, but it's like, this is a genre. It's a genre. This is an incredible genre that kept television on. That's not for years, silly. You know, my mother didn't watch her story stars. I did a 90 episode arc as this involves your psychopath nurse. I love the drama. And if you look for the all black virgin turn on anything Tyler Perry, not exactly this is what he learned. It's like, you know, the boy. A nurse that kidnapped a whole man because her husband had had died, you know, I was taking the sheet. They put me in a psychiatric psychiatric ward. I break out. Jackie Harry, who plays his wife. Jack is my favorite. I, you know, I had a stuck nobody. Nobody's stuck coordinating for for comedians. We can't we're going to have to show you how to receive a slap. I'm from Brooklyn. I can do that. How to fall. No, no, no, don't go side. Go down. I'm like, okay, it was fantastic. So what we say notes. So the maybe the lesson I'm giving here is we say no to things and those are sometimes the things that would grow us, you know, and I allowed myself to grow. So that's about the answer question about to be open to performance. To say, yes, what feels I felt I've got myself ready and you had false borders. What do you mean I false borders. False borders. You found you had a false. What's the new black so far? They call divorces. I'm doing it. I'm doing it beauty in black. Yes. I'm ready. And then you turn and you have to look and they say, hold it. Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. I'm still holding it. Hold it. Hold it. Yeah. I got it. And then they put that music on. I got to be in love when it's like you will not steal my man. And when the shows have been going on for like 30 years that even the kids of the kids come back and it's like, I am your mother. I love that. It's so good. Reliving a single the podcast. I just want to touch on it. We've talked about it. You know, talk about all the things with the show. But I just know with the podcast, you kind of re-enter with from a new perspective, these episodes and the conversation that I'm curious with you guys, hearing about dating for millennials and Gen Z. The fact that some of those episodes still relate to us now, what are the ways that it that it doesn't that you think the dating scene has changed that living single, you know, if it was here in today's day, would say a totally different story. It's the apps. We didn't have that. The fact that you can put yourself on display like a department store, you know, catalog is to me mind blowing. The fact that people would is shocking. But that's the biggest difference. The biggest difference. You know, I think emotion is still, emotion was still human. And you know, what matters you get to decide, you know, whether you want, you know, a husband and a picket fence at 3.2 kids. I think that that's still out there. But it's how you meet and how you relate. And the rules, I think some of the rules may have changed a bit. You know, you have, you know, kids who are like fluid, like I whatever. Yeah. Next, next. And there's a freedom in that that they find. And we were, I love saying, my, I'm a boomer. I'm the tail end of the boomers. Like we, I'm going to say we could still have sex without condoms. Like condoms were to avoid pregnancy. Was it because you might be gone? Right. And then, you know, we, we was the last generation who could, we're like, oh, we got to wrap it up. That was not my generation. No, that was not my generation at all. No, it's, it's a totally different thing. And also the lack of conversation. So people meet people in these sort of false illusions as opposed to meeting them and seeing them over time. Yeah. Which really makes a difference because that's how, talk about matriculate. That's how you figure out maybe, you know, whether this could work out. And there's less, like people go to proms and they take pictures of themselves. They think they had a great time. And I'm like, you got to dance. You got to dance. These are mating things that they think they had a great time. Yeah. And you got to be passed over too. That even that feeling to reject is so called rejection is actually building sort of, you know, your emotional, whatever. So, it helps you grow. It's a good experience that you have to have to have to grow. Kim said, you know, that you guys were teaching a master class. And we're talking about multi-chem sitcoms. Some still exist. It's not as popular of a thing, you know, as it once was. But when you're thinking about entertainers today, what do you think that they could learn or what's something different, you know, that you guys were doing that, you know, you would want to teach the next generation of entertainers. Thousand things to read. People don't read enough. They don't read, so they don't think right. Actually, reading teaches your mind how to see, not only see sense, senses, but communicate, but also how to speak. You have to read. You can't just regurgitate. And this is not enough. It's got to be something where you set down and enjoy a story from the front to beginning and middle because they're teaching you about narrative. And narrative is important. If you're not in a narrative game, you're not in this business, you're not in the world. Everything is controlled by narrative, but if you don't know how to build them or how they build conflict, all these things, humor, how do you put it together, how you need complications. and reversals and all those things that writers do and now this stupid AI does. But you can teach yourself, just read. - It's so true, I was realizing with myself that one of my favorite literary devices is embedded narrative. And as I've gotten old, I realized, first of all, I realized that that device is embedded narrative. I've realized what embedded narrative is. And then I was like, all the first time that I saw that was in the Bible. - Come on. - And I was like, oh my gosh, like it's so interesting where you find your language for storytelling in narrative and bringing something back to a big idea. And I was like, wow, that's how I was reading. That's what I was learning. That's how I was understanding what story was and what narrative is, just not just from TV and film, but human life experiences. So it's so true, whatever you can read. It really would be, it really changes the way you see things. - And can I say just really quick thing, narrative so strong and it can be done is such a small thing that can change people's habits or make them feel like they're doing things they're not. CP time should not exist. Color people were not the people who were late. But we adopted it. So we suddenly got, oh, I'm a CP time. I said, what black person did you ever see in the 60s or 50s or whatever that were late? - Could be late. - What it should be in. The darker the skin, the earlier in. That's a new narrative. - No, wait a minute, the darker the skin, the earlier in. - The earlier in, yeah. - Is that, did you do that today? - Just, well, I actually did that a few months ago because I realized that the earlier in with investment, the earlier into work, the earlier in, get that in now. - The darker the skin, the earlier in. It gets CP time. - CP time is a propaganda by white people that told us you lazy, Negroes. You come in late. - Not laughing, it was the way you were performing it. - I'm not laughing. - I'm not laughing here. Oh, oh, we need your CP time. So I don't say it. - I'm not gonna let you go. - Do it. Here's what's funny about that, though. Lots of cultures have their own relationship to time. So if you talk to Greek people, they say, oh, we're always late. You talk to Italians, oh, we're never there. So we each have our, that propaganda has been put on each. And they take it on like an Indian wedding. You know it's gonna be 17 days long. - But it doesn't have as much weight with the fact that when black people take it on African-American to build this freaking nation, they mean that we were late, that CP time. And I'm saying that we need to start putting, and especially in young people, things that are empowering, and not be like, oh, I was on CP time, no black person can win in this world. - I think the big thing, too, is just new ones. - Right? I know a lot of folks that's late, and I know a lot of folks is, what you said, darker the skin earlier. And so they just knew us, and then this day and age, the one thing that does excite me, even though digital, we can have our ups and downs with it, is it does offer you the reality that we're not a monolith. Women are a monolith, please. - The gays in the monolith, the blacks ain't a monolith, the Greeks ain't, you know, whatever, that we can go in, list and list and list. 'Cause the problem isn't, you know, that yeah, there are some unrealistic and unfair propagandas, is that sometimes those are the only narratives you hear. - Right. - You need multiple different perspectives in order to portray a real truth, you know. - You know, Erica says, read, and I say, also, explore, get out of your, you know, six block radius, allow your mind travel, experience, meet new people, go to different kinds of churches, different kinds of experiences, go learn to do something that you never thought that you would do, just to have the experience and to open your mind. - To piece of up to you. - I was telling my boyfriend that there was somewhere that I went that I had never experienced. The first time you go to a restaurant and there's a white, it's a white tablecloth restaurant, and they have that little tool that takes the crumbs off the table. - Oh, yeah, that little thing. - I love that. - That I was ruined the damn table itself. - Right, the first time I saw that, I was like, what are you doing? Well, I'm taking the crumbs away, that I didn't know that a tool like that existed until I wasn't gilded. (laughing) That's available to you now, but in my early 20s, I didn't know what that was. - No, seriously. - Right, so you allow yourself to experience new things. - Yeah, I can agree more well. I always play a game with my guests. I'm so sad that we're coming to the end. I literally feel like we'd time lapse, time warp in this conversation and we just haven't so much fun. But, you know, because we are talking about living single, I thought we'd play the all living single matchmaker addiction. And you know, a lot of people think that being single is bad, but no, honestly, it's a choice half the damn time. So I'm going to give you guys a list of different available open women, tell you a little something about them. And we're going to pick a celebrity match. - Oh, I love that. - So little fun, just a little theory. - Okay, okay, okay. - Here we go. I'm good at this. - I'm good at this. - I'm good at this. - Yes, you are. - Have you ever done it before? I'm good at this. - Of course. She's funny, grounded, radiant, never compromises. She loves her a long time, but if someone could join her joyfully, who would it be? - You ain't got no choices for us. We got to pick. - It's free, y'all. - She's a fake. - I'll jump in one, once y'all after y'all. - Wow, it's got to be somebody, I think, unfortunately, younger. And she said she was down with-- - She's like younger. She won younger. - She needs younger. Gosh, you know what? Does it have to be somebody that's free? Because I don't know if they're free. - No, no, no. When we mean no disrespect, but if they're not free, it's just for the game. - Okay, good. No disrespect. - No disrespect. - I would say whoever it is, it would have to be someone who has his own. He is solid in his own business, has his own money. That he's not there with her to see what he can get from her. - You know who I think that she would have fun, Danny? I don't know how serious this young man is about women and stuff like that. I don't know if he's like, I think his, what I'm appearing and thinking of him, I think he could be a great long-term partner for her, Damson Idris. - Nice. - He's young. - Wow, he's pretty young. - He has it together, but she's like that. - 37, he's 37, he's like, he ain't gonna meet. He's like, yeah, he's 29, right? - Oh no, that's too young. - No way. - And how old is she? - How old is she? - She's 50. - Yeah. - Maybe she's like, yeah. - I recommend no more than Tana Hasi Coates. - Who's Tana Hasi Coates? - He is the writer of, oh gosh, between the world and me, thank you love. - Between the world and Tana Hasi Coates, okay. - There'll have to be somebody intellectual. - Yeah, I don't know who it is, but someone intellectual. - Now like he's true, yeah. - He has his own. And I would say don't go any longer, younger than 15 years younger. - No younger 15, okay. - So that's a lot of interest, that's it. - Okay. - 33, okay. - Okay, Damson's 33. - Okay, I thought he said it. - Damson's 33, that's not that bad. - Oh no, that's not bad. - Who played his mother in F1 was 37, supposedly. - Damn, she was right there neck and neck. - Yeah, it doesn't make sense. - That happens all the time. - That's what I remember. - That's crazy. - That's the wiki is wrong. - That's how I felt about Zosha Rockmore forever. Her and the girl that was playing the teenager was about the same age. - About the same age. - Yeah, it happens all the time. - Okay, she was that to you. - Hally Bailey. - Oh. - Okay, she stepped into her womanhood. She's a mother, obviously a superstar. If she were to entertain a future partner, who would match her softness and her star power? - Donald Glover. - They would've been cute, obviously he's married. - Yeah, it's just a very interesting match. - That would've been cute. - Yeah, it would've been nice, nice. And he's weird and wonderful and creative, super creative and they could play. - They could play. - I love it. I love him. I love him. - That's a good one, that's a good one. Okay. - Love. - Okay. - Girl King. - Oh. - Okay. - Okay. - Auntie Gale's been booked and blessed all her life. But we want to see her. (laughs) - All her life. - This is in her companionship era. - Yeah. - Mm. - And don't say Oprah. - Oh, never. - Just kidding. - I would never. - But you see when they talk about a recent week. Like, could you believe people try to say? (laughs) - But it has to be a man who would be okay with Oprah. - Okay. - The best. - And they're cool with their lives. - Senator Cory Booker. - Damn, you're good at it. - Really? - Yes. - No. - Because of political, what, no, no, no. Well. - But what, how old is he? - He's younger than Gail King. But what I like about him is that he's political. He lives in Jersey. I'm just saying for her, that might be an interesting person. - Well, I love about him is that he's so earnest. There's an earnestness in him. - He's good. - Yeah, yeah. - He's a good. - He's a good. (laughs) - He's a good. (laughs) - Okay, but what do you say to him? - I don't, I can't think of individuals. Like, when I leave here, so I'm like, oh, it should have been so-and-so. Again, it would have to be somebody who is okay with her. You know, like, you gotta. - Her having such a huge life. - Mark Lamont, Mark Lamont. - Mark Lamont Hill. - Hill. - Mark Lamont Hill, guys, he's not too young. - But he's smart. - I'm smart. - Come on, y'all. - Don't be, come on. - Mark Lamont Hill, I love him. - Yeah. - I love him. - He's super smart. He could go toe-to-toe with her on any conversation on, I love him. - He's a Philly. - Yeah, I love him. I love him. - Okay, wait, this is a fun one for you guys. - And he's strong as a, you know, as a man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I love Mark Lamont Hill. - One of America's favorite multi-hyphenists. - Oh, you. - Yeah. (laughing) - You, who is worthy of stepping in the kinkies world? - You know who I would like for you? - Someone like Serena's husband. Alex what's, Alex what's his name? - Alex, oh, Alex, oh, Alex. - Somebody rich. - Super rich. - That would be lovely. - I feel like his support of her is like, and when people come for her, he writes. - He writes, you know, his comments, like just-- - He needs to send her a great defender. - He needs to send her a great defender. - And it got enough money to go, you can't cancel me 'cause I will make something and sell it for a billion dollars. - Yes. - So go ahead, go ahead. - Yeah. - He would love on someone like that. - Oh, Alex, oh, hi. - Yeah, someone like that. Like, go do you, go do you, and be watching on the side by his still, by his millions and making millions. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna say. - Well, you know what? I might have said Idris, who you said. - Idris, the one that chose the damson. - Really? - Yeah, because that's interesting. But I think that-- - What makes you say damson? - What makes you say damson? (laughing) (laughing) You obviously like him, but you know, I got a new guy, he's a dark horse. - He's me. - His name is, his name is De Adrienne Leicester. - Who's De Adrienne Leicester? - Burley Mac, really great actor. Right there, who died, and if I don't say him. - He's got it, he's got it, but he's the best people I know. He's a fantastic performer, and I tell you, De Adrienne would be like, let me tell you some, that's Burley Mac, Burley Mac. - He's down to earth, someone who's gonna help you make the chicken wings, but also, - Yes, definitely down to earth. - You can't build it, build it and build it. - Okay, I'd like to think about that with you, because I actually think that there's a lot of people who would be strengthened by you. And also, there's a part of me that knows that there's a lot of growth. - Yes. - And so I don't want anybody to think that they're the growth for you. - Yes, that's wrong. - That's so true, it's so big for me that the man's not the same as my story. - They have to be delighted by all this energy. - That's right. - And there's a lot of people who suppress it. No, you have to be delighted. But I just want to see who's that. And I think they might be in a different country. - Yeah, oh yeah. - Yeah, everybody always says, definitely that. - There's a couple on, I see on the show's social meetings. I don't know their names or anything. She's so funny and so wacky and she dresses up in outfits. - Chrissy. - Is that who, and he is so dumb. - And she walks in what, - I have to be the chef. - I think that's them. - Yes. - She walks in like a lamb suit and he just cracks up. Like he's so delighted by her. - Yeah, you're delighted. - Then you go again. - You should make the person that's too much. - I can't say who it is. Everything like, you got me, you got me again. Like I was somebody who would just be your support. - You have to laugh at my jokes. - Yes, yes. - In parody. - Yeah, oh, and someone who would make you laugh too. Someone who could, you could take it all down and just curl up and lay up in him. And he could hold that for you too. 'Cause that's needed too. That's needed. - Oh, true. - Yeah. - Okay, so the Adrian Leicester, you know, Demson is just type by. - There you go, there you go. - Okay. - I'm gonna put that in here. - Someone deserving me. - To the AI later on. - Yes. (laughing) - Thank you guys so much. - I don't know this man. I feel sorry for this man. I don't know, I've never seen this man before. - Kiki Palmer, thank you. Let me tell you something. You're a breath of fresh air. - Oh my God. - You have been his whole time. You give off not only a vibe that's inner and outer, but you live out loud and you live in a space where we get to, did you show us how high up is? As you're climbing. So thank you for that. And I love you to death. And we're so really happy to see you in this world being so wonderful, but also the sky's the limit. Thank you for, you know, profiling, having us all over the world. - You guys, I love you guys. - And you guys, I know that you're not fearless, but you. - Come on. You couldn't be fearless. You couldn't even do this if you didn't know what the parameters were and what was at stake. And yet you are, you. - Who's coming here? - Who's that? - That's the baby. - That's the baby. - That's the baby. - That was the energy was too much. - That was the energy. - Anyway, you show us, like you said, she shows us how high is, but also you're doing this courageously and beautifully. And thank you. - It means the world to me. I've always looked up to you both. I've always been a fan of your work and I'm just so glad. Hopefully we all get to do something at some point again. I've been hoping to do something with you. - So we got to make it happen. - Absolutely. And by the way, congratulations on, you know, with SZA. - Oh, thank you, one of the best. We got two. Now it's not for another one. - One of them days. - With macro. - Oh, Charles. - I really want her to do that. - We're gonna do a second girl. - Yeah. And I think that me and Howard do so cute if we do what one of them. If we did like a little, she could make it very SZA. - Who wants to, who wants to, who wants to, who wants to, who wants to, who wants to. - You know the thing, how she do. - We wanted you to win. We were in the movie theater going, "I want to do win, I want to do win." - Yes. - Congratulations. - Thank you guys. - Thank you. (upbeat music) - Kim, Erica, and the whole living single cast, I love them down. They were trailblazers. Single, smart, stylish, black women living their lives authentically and unapologetically on TV. And they've thrived in this industry with so much grace and power. The culture still feels their impact. And so do I. Baby, this is Kiki Palmer. ♪ Baby, this is Kiki ♪ ♪ Baby, this is Kiki Palmer, yeah ♪ - Baby, this is Kiki Palmer is hosted and executive produced by me, Kiki Palmer. Lucas Siegel is our post producer. Our producers are Lauren Hampton and Molly Nestor. Hillary Estee McLaughlin is our executive producer. Production services provided by Evolution Media. Our original theme song was written and performed by me, Kiki Palmer. For Team Kiki, my producer is Sharon Palmer. For Wondery, our Managing Producer is Olivia Fonte. Senior Managing Producer is Nick Ryan. And our executive producers are Emily Feldbrake, Erin O'Flarity, and Marshall Louis.