Livin' like Gandhi

What's happening beautiful people it's your uncle joy with another fun filled episode of the church of what's happening now? New Testament, it's Monday September 1st, so I don't have to tell you what type of week it is. You got to get up and light your ass on fire. As usual, my co-host is here Johnny Hitler looking good as a mother fucker. Oh my god. And that's it. We missed you. It was a long week without you. We got a lot of shit to talk about. How you been? I mean, Catherine Narducci called me Johnny Hitler. I saw her rise to her and run these. And she was matched like, where's the podcast? I was like, it's been a week. She's like, I haven't seen it. So she says, I'm good. Dude, what do you want to talk about? I don't want to talk about anything. I just want to make sure you're good. The dog is good. Everyone's going almost well. You're excited about GPA 6. You know, I just know I can't play it. Why not? Because when you say, I've only seen bits and pieces of the trailer. I won't, there would be no reason for me to do stand-up for about two months. Why not? Because you could do like your whole life. It takes half an hour to drive from one end to the other. Okay. And dude, you rob places with a mask on or they know where you are. You have a girlfriend in the game now. You have to lift weights. I do, you would do more in GTA than you do in real life. I have to say what you do is say at home and become a fucking couch fucker. Oh my god. You're a Jew. Yeah. Well, that's not my button pushing you. You're a Jew. Okay. So that means you go out and do your comedy. You eat mama's ass. You walk the dog. You get a snack. And then you lock yourself in that closet. That's all. And you could play to three or four in the morning. Yeah. That's all good until it's snowing out in New York. And I'm supposed to leave to go do an open mic. And then grab that auto steering wheel. You're going to stay up all night until the open mic you fuck. That's why you do it at night. So when you're tired, you go to bed. Two, three hours is all you really need on that shit. Oh, no. I knew when I got behind when you mother fucker told me about it. I knew when I got behind that PS5, whatever the fucking thing is. Right. That after the first time I did it, it was like stand up comedy. When I put the thing down, I pissed, wash my hands, I'm like, first off, I'm going to like this. Yeah. Okay. There's going to be a problem. Number two, I'm a stoner, which means you could smoke in between. Every time I get shot, I go get high, you know, they have things you put on the controller and not a holder joint for you. Oh my god. That's what I need. Yeah. Yeah. They got some shit. It's creative with stoners. Now, the only time I would be upset with that game is if I was still doing Coke and I had bitches coming over with bikinis on how I'm trying to play that game, being a freak, then I'm not going anywhere. If I could make that possible every day. Yeah. Fuck them on the game. They got servers on the game. You can kill them after you get your money back. That's the great thing about being a kid and being a man. When you're a kid, you have no responsibilities and you don't want nothing to move forward. I was there. I was the oldest kid in existence. I was the oldest. I'm still am. I was going to say, so I knew, but then when you become a man, you got bills and whatever, and you make time for it. I wish I could play it every night, but I know when I go three hours, I'm going to be rattled the next morning. When you were playing a video game that you like three hours is like the appetizer. We did four hours. We did four and I was good at two, but he came and saved me because you can pull that. You look down. You're like, all right, it's eight o'clock. I'll play to 11, and then you look down at three in the morning and one more mission. If I can have those in prison, they haven't been prison now. Then I wouldn't leave because it's endless. It's thick about it. You do your work in the kitchen, you laundry. You sweep clean the bathroom and you and your boys are in that cell, fucking playing that shit all day and night. It's a great game, but it's also entertainment, you know, I mean, next time I get on, then I want to do two hours and then next thing, you know, but now I'm going to prepare it. I drink a couple of blooms. Oh, yeah. Well, energy drinks. Fuck. Yeah. And I was fucking, sadly night, I was fucked up. I must eat in three of those fucking five of those out of bulls. No one do you call this? I started with two. Yeah. By the time I called you, I was gone. I found the morphine pill painting. I dropped out that that night. I was fucked up, Jack. I was smoking that heavy duty weed with 58% indica dust. Guys, I was done. I was hired and fuck and I'm playing this. We would giggle in our ass while Pedro and Carly giggle like a giggle. And sadly, that was the best night we ever had. We just had a lot of people watching. Oh, nice. A lot more unusual. That's when we called you. You were started because they ask about you constantly. Well, he, well, he, well, he, well, he, well, he, well, he, so you want to talk to leave him all the fuck this? I'll call Lee and he'll tell you what he's doing. Fuck yeah. Dude, I was a, I, I, I need to play again. I just, dude, I spent way too much time doing, like, I don't, I don't know if anybody like that's been a good year, but it's also been a fucked up like the only, have you ever had a year? Well, like the only time you're happy is when you're on stage, like the, like a couple of years like that. Okay? Cause there's no hop. Why am I going to be home? They ain't nothing to eat. Right? They're nothing to eat. It's the same cable shows over and over and down to a joint. So whenever you're on stage, you're like, woo, for me, it's like going to school. Carly was like going to school and not going to happen to you show up down there. That's times they show up and open to do a spot. I'm broke. I got, I was, I got a gram of blow on the, um, this guy gave me a joint. This, and you're like, wow, all this happened because I got out of the house. I don't, yeah. That is true. The only thing I was going to ask is like, I feel like the thing that's changed is getting paid for spot. I don't know. Like I barely any in the city pay, like, unless you're like one of the main clubs and maybe they give you 20 bucks, but like, I don't know, like I never run into money randomly in the city. Those never, maybe a drink ticket and usually only have like a couple for the entire show. So I always give it up because I don't drink. But it's, I don't know, I'm just having so much fun on stuff. That's, I don't know, for like those 10 minutes, like it's like you, I'm forced to not think about anything else. It's like the happiest I am right now. And how really, how about you? Because you did so many spots in Austin. You've done more spots in Austin than you did, like, and once here. Since the pandemic, I haven't done, and it was really 11 spots for the week. That's great. But just to do nine and those three nights, the bulk, ah, that's great for me. Even seven, I would take, I'd even take seven sets. Because if I keep doing it and then coming back here and, and that's what I'm doing, I'm coming back in. I'm walking into some miles. Right. I'm going to try to walk into some miles that Wednesday. Or at least, and it's, listen, 30 spots a month is the minimum, like we're on a road. It's dirty. That's why it's, that's a hard number to fucking hit. It is, but like in Austin, in New York, in Austin, New York, it's doable. You can pull off 40, you know, week in New York, again, how great a quality of those 40 shows. So that's what you're also thinking about. But dude, I did, when you were gone, I had one day where I did four, and it was the most I've ever done in New York. And like one day, it was exhaust, like I was, it was probably, and it, it sounds crazy. But I did, like it's, I started at four, I had a four or five and eight and a 10. By the end of that 10, I was like out of it. So to do three or four, that's, I don't have that stamina yet. And that's what I'm hoping, like I'm hoping to get it in the next year, so to get into some more of these clubs. A lot of these guys, the stamina is this, two shows at one place. That'd be great. So like the stand will give you two spots and one at eight and one at 1130. So in between that, you're out of hospital. So anything you pick up is fucking gravy, but again, because for years, I just wasted time. I'm grateful that I did those spots, but at one point, I don't want you to, you know, when it's too much, it's, diminishing returns, there you go. So it was, it was like the hardest part, I had to go from the upper west side to Midtown. And like I was you, and then I went back to the lower east side and then I went back up to the upper east side. And then when I was doing that, I was thinking about you in Austin, I was like, okay, even in an Uber, it's a lot because you're sitting, you're cooling down for you to just be at one club the whole time is, is a huge difference. I bet. So if I go to Austin, yeah, I would do the early show and then run out to the early bucket and the early Joe show. And then run out to creaking the cake and the cray, whatever creaking the cake, okay, I got to call Rebecca or I walk from our Vulcan or sunset and then go back. That's three plus the one I'm going to do. That's four. I'm home by 1045. If I want to be, you follow me, that's the big thing at Austin, because now you don't know who's downstairs. You never know who's downstairs. You never know who you're going to bump into. I went last week and I was talking to Gary Owen, I've been seeing Gary Owen in fucking 15 years. Oh, yeah. So I talked to him for like two hours at the bus. How's he doing? Fucking a lot better than us. He's, yeah. He's blowing up. He's blowing up. Dude, my first job in LA, I edited a TV show that he hosted. And then I like, I, for some reason on Facebook, I see him all the time. Like he's, he's, and I, he just, he was on Killtony, right? That's what I walked in. Okay. [BLANK_AUDIO] It's cool to see, I'm trying to figure out how people are like blowing up a little bit. And I go, I told him obsessed with Ars Barker, where he's just a store, how he was doing. He did well. He had a comedy central special in America. And then for some reason, moved to Australia and like, I was talking to an Australian comic in the day. He's like, okay, but he's the king of all, he's like, he's like, the most famous comic in Australia. And I'm like, that's so, like, just to see how people are like deciding to do, like how Gary has, he puts up more clips than I've seen, and he, he, it seems like he's selling out, like he's setting records in clubs every, he always has a new shoe with color. It's just interesting, it's interesting for me who is like looking for something to see how these people are. Everyone's doing it a little bit differently. It's cool. Like I told you, for me to get Nick and go, Nick, you're going to become a ukulele plan. You're going to be the best ukulele plan in the world, right? Which is usually ukulele, yeah, that's a little guitar, right? Yeah. The Hawaiian money. The Hawaiian. Whatever the fuck, right? But we're talking about how, probably everyone has different passes, that we ask different passes. And the best thing about it, I've always told you since the beginning, I go, I pick three comics. Sometimes I'm smelly Cuomo, sometimes it's the Jordan Jensen, I'm a fan of all those guys. Yeah. It's just never metal. Once I see their tapes, I'm interested, I watch them, there's a one kid, I forget what his name is, but when I see him, I watch his shit, young guy, and you watch and then when they oppose something good, like I'm shooting my first Netflix special, now I watch me even more, but it's not the specials, how they're going to react to the special. Okay. So, but at the same time, like I tell people, if I go to Nick and go Nick, you're going to make $10 million a year playing the ukulele, it's a hard sell, I mean, you can lay the people you hang out with. But when I start, when you start hanging out with people, and you've known these guys, and you've been to lunch with them, and you both look at each other when they're tabbed, and you're like, huh, and all of a sudden, now they're like, Ralphie, man, Ralphie, man, you know, Ralphie, man. We were living in an apartment together, shoplifting, food at night, and turkeys and shit, and one day he just took off. So now that one, it's somebody you see right away, it gives you a lot more confidence, because you're like, he's doing it. I mean, I'd be as funny as he is, but I will be, and when I get there, go up into the door for me like that. There's been a couple of Michael Blowstein, I don't know if you know him from LA. I was doing open mics with him at the fourth wall, and now he has like sold out theater tours, and I like, whatever you think about crowd work, he's doing some of that, like he's walking around with like a wireless mic, and we'll actually go to different people, and that like online, it looks great. You know, who else is doing great? I wanted to do it, but Aaron, Aaron Berg with the, with the glasses on stage, I think it's fantastic. Aaron Berg. Aaron Berg. We are mostly do. He wears the, the meta glasses, and he like, you can see it from a comics point of view when he's doing the, and it's, it's just cool, like just to see someone doing something different, and then you can see what they're doing, and it's a, I love that they're, that they're blowing up. And that takes time, yeah, it takes time, but once you know that they're on that path, it's just a little push now. It could be one line in the movie. You could do 10 movies or one line, and nobody will call you. He does one line, boo, and all some people love, Tiffany Adish. Really? Tiffany Adish always had it since I met her, but all she needed was a push. You got that girl's night out, looking at her, looking at her, looking at her. One role did it. So it all depends, but it's a work that you put on and how that, you know, when that cherry is on the Sunday, and that's when you see the whole picture, but all you know is that you're starving. You know, that's all you know, that you're, you, you only ate six weight watcher points, not because you're on a diet, but because you got nothing, you know, you drank two gallons of water with fucking liquid IV and it gave you six calories or whatever. But my point is when you see people blowing up around you, I, I tell you, I think that's why I stopped doing coke because I'm like, I got to figure some out. People now around me, I had like Josh Wolf, we moved in together. Guy was struggling. So I'm peanut butter sandwiches online, and it happens. Look at Tara. Years ago, Tara canna-stressy and I were opening up for Josh Wolf and she was telling me how like the pandemic was tough for her. She, she had to like reevaluate. And now she just shot something with Joe Koy and, um, fuck and Martin Lawrence. And she's like, it's, and again, and effective now you and I see it and you're like, you've done, she blew up. Maybe not. That might be the thing that you lose your mind over. You didn't blow up as hard as you think, but then that means it's not going to be that one. It'll be the next one. It's all in a rotation. But when I did the longest, you know, nobody even called me. In fact, I got thrown out of a pilot read once or what? I went nuts. Those last two years of the longest judge, that, that fucking blew my doors. What does going nuts mean? Like, do you know who I am? No. Like, I just hit me that bad. Like, I felt that bad. That's why I got cleaned up in that period because I knew it wasn't going to get any better. You know, fucking the big guy got a TV show with Chris Rock. Nick Datoro got a movie right off the bat. Lowball got longer short. Oh, that son's anarchy. Nobody even called me. Fuck. So one time that was on my ego, like the three months, people telling me when this movie comes out, you're going to get a push. But guess what? After I blew up comedically, then that movie became something. Right. That's what people don't get it. It takes culture. You might be in problem. People come up to me. Somebody came up to me in the last minute. You were great in Stacey's. What the fuck says that? And everything I did, that's what he liked. Then he liked it. I'm not going to fight with him. I'm going to fight with him. I'm realistic that that type of shit. It's possible. Maybe Shane could sell 48,000 tickets all day long. And he opened up the gate and more people came. They want to be part of it. Especially if they feel like it's a one time thing. It's yeah, it would be, do that. It would be fun. It's that. Mine's the Wilbur. Like that's like that's my like I'm fucking made it. May 21st and 22nd. Next year? Yeah. Fuck yeah. Friday Saturday. Fuck yeah. But like it is MSG. That's your fucking holy grail of places to headline. No, I'm just throwing it out there. I'm just saying. If I fucking did, I'm sure Red Rocks would be cool for you. There's a couple bigger places. But from, I don't know. I'm sure it could change. But I don't know. I did. All you were telling this saying in one of the comics in Austin, all she did was talk about stand up. All I think people haven't told me they don't want to talk about this all more. There's a point in your life where you don't even want to go to place. There's a point where your life has a career. I'm not telling you this for any other reason, but I'm just telling you this, there's a point in life where even your spouse will look at you and go, God, I'm not at all. (laughing) But what they don't understand is this is all we care about. There's a whole we care about. You think I stopped watching the news because I'm special, I stopped watching the news because it was interfering with my fucking comedy. Okay, any demand to feed you, you gotta get rid of it. But that's all we know. I feel like the 10 year mark, we don't know nothing. And we don't know nothing. I really don't. What I'm worried about is doing stand up and getting to second base right now. And people never, and that's why at one point you go, why am I doing these things with regular people? It's a drag. (laughing) Why am I doing this? Not that you're better than these regular people, but you have nothing to talk about. And then they're gonna ask you with the same shit, oh my God, you're a stand up comedian. How special. And they're gonna let your wife go and oh my God, you must live in a house of lactin, she's like, not really, you know, and that's what everybody talks you with like that and you feel like an idiot. Oh my God, come here, come here, come here. He's a stand up comedian. Oh my God, what movies have you been in? (laughing) What TV show? Can we see you on Netflix? Uh, you know, that sucks. That sucks. Then they start talking about the comics and I do them well. What do you think of this guy? Oh my God, I love him. I love her and you're like, why don't you even come here? (laughing) Why don't you even come here to get upset? (laughing) To feel bad because you're not them no more. It's a bro, you're not them. It's very tough, you're not them. And then at a party, you pick the career that nobody picks. Nobody picks this shit. All right, this is like being an undertaker. You're chosen, you make a left turn, you walk into a club, you do good, you got a giggle, but what comes inside of you is a feeling like better than orgasm. I know what I'm killing, they're in a bitch that could go in front of me. I don't want them, I don't want them there. I don't need them there, I don't care if they're fucking Marilyn Monroe. When you're killing as a man, they're ain't no mother and fuck it up. When you bring a naked woman, they're gonna stop. I'm gonna go, no, no, no, no, let me finish what I'm doing here. Nobody can live with that. It's women, no. For you to be good at this, you have to be married to stand up. And everybody in your world's got to be okay with that. Because by the 12 of you, Mark, then you start cutting them all. I don't need this shit. How much longer do they keep doing stand up? You're not getting nowhere. Dunn, dunn. That's the last time I'm gonna hear that shit from you. Dunn, blocked. Everything, no more Instagram, no more nothing. And then by the 15th year, there's a dog. It's fucking rough. It's fucking rough. Go in the room and act this. You're gonna want to shoot yourself. Really? Yeah, like 20 actors? Oh my god, I did the scene in the acting class. With a wizarding, you're like, it's a scene, bitch. And it's like an open mic. It's an open mic for fucking actors. All looking to connect with other losers. And dog, I called myself that when I was at that level. 'Cause you don't know until one day you go, I'm done coming to parties. First, I gotta answer too many questions. These people don't know nothing about nothing. And I gotta justify my existence. I'm out there seven nights a week, busted my arm. Forget it. Wedding's not ever again. Never again. You don't have time. 'Cause you know you're never gonna be there mentally. Vacations, good luck. Good luck. When she's talking about let's take a walk and see the flowers. And you're on the third set, you're on the third night without doing comedy. And your Instagram is Pedro and Lee jumping up at the commicella with fucking, you know, with Jimmy Page and you're on an island with your wife. That's why you know. And unless that wife could understand that, it's never gonna work out. It becomes your world. You have nothing else. There's not a standup comic that's a part-time doctor. So this is what it's really hard for people in this fan and it's hard for comics to get that in their head. We picked the career, not nobody does. No one's smart. Nobody who's got a half a brain would do this shit. This takes a certain type of retardation, but it's a different strength. It's a different strength. For some people it's hanging out with movie stars and trying to be cool, no. For some people they get, they feel better about themselves and they put a house full of them with pictures of celebrities. That's not what it's for. That's not what that's for that text, a moment in time. But I'm not gonna wrap my fucking house around with me with other people. That's me and the president. That's me and this guy. That's me and what the fuck I, so my point is that when you do stand up, there's a certain mark one day you go, I'm done. And you know what, I'm at the, listen, when I was at the 15 year mark, I was, what was I? 15 year mark was 2006, maybe 2007. That's like, we're coke and why? Because I knew whatever I was doing wasn't gonna catch me up with these guys. It's kind of roll up your sleeves. You know what I'm saying, you know, like when they go, you know, I'm gonna die. I'm always on a weight watch, this thing. When I eat a piece of chicken, I put three ounces. If I eat two chicken colors, I put five ounces. You know, you always under whatever the fuck. Yeah, what was my point? I don't know, I'm too high on that fucking. The mushrooms kind of hit me a little bit. Then they stopped. I might have to refuel on those motherfuckers. Jesus Christ. That made me think that was the first time I ever took mushrooms. Well, I don't know if you remember that. You brought me to the store. I got there after you. You just threw me like a bar chocolate. I put it in my mouth and already started dying laughing 'cause it was mushroom. Like that was the first time I ever saw a mushroom chocolate. Fucking comedy is an experience. Comedy is an experience from the time you put your car in, right? You know where you're going. You're like, ah, you put the music on. You have your little notebooks. You can make notes at the light. You walk in, everybody's nice, you know? It's even when you're an open mic. It's like people who go out to quit school. I went to school to make money. I went to school at 100. It's a masculine. That was my social. That was my social hour. How can I not go to school? I'm gonna miss on 20 girls who play hooky and go to Hudson County Park and throw bottles into squirrels? How can I remember? So for me, it was always that. Like it's a fucking, and I don't know what I'm coming back. You leave at night to do comedy. You want me to give you a time? I'd be online to you. I could tell you 1130 and walk at here at 1015. I could tell you 1130 and walk at here five in the morning. That's a comedy night. Smell me. There were no women around me. I was at a bunch of gorillas doing sets, talking shit and drinking and smoking. That's my job. That's my job. That's why I can't quit either quit your day job because you're missing another portion. Not that you're gonna stay out late every night. But when you're out knowing that you don't have to go to bed. The big difference. Then even if it's the lit at the clock, I still got to get up and go to bed and work tomorrow morning. It's tough. And I have the easiest version of it. I work remotely. So I set my alarm five minutes before I have to be up. But yeah, it's, and dude, it's, I will be like, I started, I looked at my bank account a little bit. After two years in New York, I was like, oh, shit. I need that day job for a little bit. But it's, I don't know. It's, I'm just very, it gets old. I'm very happy in a lot of things. But there's just something, like when I did four, or even if I have two sets a night, I feel like a real comic. There's something about two. I would love it to be three or four. And two puts you at 14 spots a week. Yeah. I took fucking a lot of spots though. And again, if you're doing a spot for three people, I'd be milties caught comedy shop at one 15 a morning. That ain't doing nothing for you. You know, you don't think so? I was talking about this a little bit of a comment. There's three people after the whole night that you've been pushing. You get there, you in the room is somber. Yeah, but, you know, listen, I still got up on them. I'm on it. Yeah, because there's a lot, it happens a lot in New York. As people will come in and decide not to do a show, "Oh, there's only six people." It bummed like, "This is me off." 'Cause like, "Hey, I'm really trying to get spots." And I've had some great show. I had one of the, on that four-show day, I did a show for 10 people, but it was great. Like they were a great, they had a lot of fun. I said new stuff. When people decide they don't want to do spots, I judge them. I don't know. You're different. Like a headline was different. For me, when somebody gets them, they go, "I'm not gonna go up." 'Cause no, fuck those punks. Okay, yeah. No, if you're there, you gotta go up. Don't come down there, whatever you gonna go. Three people, not my cup of tea. That's the guy I give him another year in comedy. You do a spot for, listen, two people, you can do a spot. A person, you just rehearsing, just singing my love song. To a talent song, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Uncle Joey's here and I got great news for you. The weight is over. Football is here and so is Draft Kings Jack. Draft Kings is now live in all 50 states. One app, every sport, all 50 states. Who's better than Draft Kings? Nobody, so do me a favor. New Draft Kings customers, sign up with Code Joey. You're gonna spend five bucks to get $200 in rewards within 21 days and that includes all markets. Again, download the app and press in Code Joey, J-O-E-Y, and partnership with Draft Kings where the crown is yours. Football is here, Jack. - Bet with DK Sportsbook, gambling problem called 1-800-Gamilar, 1-800-My-Reset, an etiquette called 8-8-8-7-8-9-7-777, or visit ccpg.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino and Kansas, Bettax Pastu may apply in Illinois, 21 and over. 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In a way, are the crowds, what is it? Crowds are the same everywhere. - You think so? - They're human beings. - Okay. - Okay. In New York, you got that younger element that goes to the lower clubs and whatever. But there's a college in Austin, you know what I'm saying? - Yeah, of course. - What I learned after the last, but maybe one of the move there is, I got a bum leg. I'm lazy. (laughs) Okay, I don't wanna drive an hour, 15 to do a spot in the city, three nights a week. Maybe to do three of 'em. That's what I'm capable of doing before I have to drive back an hour, 15, at least, yeah. - So if I could do two spots at six, but I have to go to the stand and maybe go to broad knees, I don't know how it works. You know, so it would be, I'd get it down after a month. But the way I look at it is this, man. I live in Central New Jersey. The opportunity by my house and not good. I got maybe three or four, two clubs and a couple open mics. The only way to sharpen metal is to be around metal, whatever. There, when I go up on stage, I got 200 people guaranteed. - Yeah. - To do the small room to hone on specific stuff. Plus, if I wanna do Creek and the Cave, the Vulcan, it's all on the same street. - That's pretty insane. - It's pretty insane. So for me, it works out. I'm older, you know, my knees fucked up. I fell when I was down there. - No, you didn't. - Yes, I did. - You okay? - I got a big strawberry on my leg right now. I got caught on a fucking bat at whatever that thing is. The barricade, the screw was pointing that way. I got all the screws and my sneaker got cut, caught under the screw and my knee went right down. Hey, it's all a part of doing business. What am I gonna do? Knee was already fucked up. - Did you see anybody? - Huh? - I could see the city, but what should I not gonna do? I'm still gonna be a hop and fucking Cuban. So for me, it works. We were talking about this for months, okay? Let's cut down the basics here. When I got here, I didn't go up at all. I did one outside of the parking lot show. I saw a flying squirrel. I was like, this ain't for me, you know what I'm saying? They were fucking raccoons or whatever you call them. Skunks there. And I just wasn't ready mentally. I was heartbroken by the lay. The move and, you know, it just was a lot. I was withdrawn on the Xanax. So that felt like how I didn't wanna be around people. And I kept getting on stage and I couldn't make eye contact. Which is never good. I could never get the engine going. It was very flat. And I told George, we drove down there. Uncle Vinnie's a couple of times and I said, that's it. I think I heard it the night that I had this surgery the first time. I stepped on stage and it was a long stage and I fucking heard it. And I cursed myself and whatever, but anyway, it took me a while because I didn't know what I wanna do. And then I noticed that my wife can't help me. Mercy can't help me. George can't help me. Nobody can help me. I'm living in an area that I'm 20 years old and everybody else, the other parents. And again, I'm a fucking comic. So I don't have nothing to talk to you already, except the two opening sentences. How's the kids? How's the wife? How's the work? Good. I saw you gonna be performing it. And then we go back to being, I don't know, it's a talk I'm about. I get together and they talk about drinking games and shit. I'm a fucking grown man, you know? (laughing) And then when I did discover the dojo, I really enjoyed it. I got to meet Pedro and Hector and, I met Becky at an open mic and it's three old, like a year before that. But I found the crew that I felt good with, comfortable around. They made my journey feel better as young guys. I was gonna have a bunch of young guys do, what are you doing down here, grandpa, and all that shit. And it was a great scene. And I was doing okay with it. But the last year I got confessions to make before I go on stage, I'm falling apart. And it's not because I'm feeling weird 'cause I can't remember my material from week to week. Because I'm only on stage once a week. Yeah. Every time I go up there, it's like going through, and I'm not making excuses. I'm giving you guys facts of what I realized. This last week in Austin, I realized that on Thursday night. I'm like, when I got on stage at three times today, it was back to being me. Shit was coming out, I never said before, those little tags that are funny and the whole fucking set up, and I'm like, okay, this is what it takes. It takes three in a row. And I thought, I never thought I could grow on one. But I thought I could at least maintain. I call Pedro right away. And I told him a little Pedro would do it all wrong. We got to start doing 30 sets a month. And I'm talking about 28 and gotta be quiet with me. I got a mind going to one of those RBR shows where everybody's an animal and they, I don't mind that either, that tightens you up. But I'd rather at this level be at shows with 20 people or more. I'm not looking for 200 people at night dogs. I know exactly what time it is. You're not gonna do that, down by my house. But I'm sure I could pack up one, two, three, and I at one place. And then Pedro gets a spot in Linnhurst or Jersey City. That's two places we got. And then somebody else pulls a third night out of their ass. George got connections and clipped out. Somebody pulls connections out of their ass. And we got three nights. And then you get another one and you can all set that one. So now you got one week where you do three spots and you get 50 bucks and everybody feels good about it. You're not gonna get rich. But I'm gonna at least give you 25 bucks to go home for gas. So you don't feel like a fucking idiot. Nobody should work for free. Right. And that's the problem you have in New York. When did you get paid for a spot in L.A.? There's no dog. Your shows and a couple of random ones. Nobody pays you. That's why you have to get old school comedy rooms. You have to go into a bar and go. It's your slowest night. Tuesday, Wednesday, okay. You can keep doing ladies not on Wednesdays and get these fat fucking dirty white chicks from fucking Tom's River. Or we can do something nice up here. Get a beer sponsor. So when you're performing, the Heineken's a four hours. They'll give you a case of beer, a better price. Let's do that. You put a Heineken banner behind it and you give it a name. And then you advertise on Facebook ads or Instagram ads. And it's $10. Nobody gets rich. So either the bar pays you out of their money and they get the drink money or give me a fucking stand. And a guy will just fucking sell tickets for 10 bucks and then we'll keep the money. Yeah. I'd rather the bar. our pays, even if it's small, because it's commitment. It's a commitment from them. They're in. They're comedy fans. So you're getting them for 300 a week for a Tuesday night. After a month, what do you think's gonna happen? Can I talk to you for a second? You got a little chubby guy at least I have. Yeah, my fan is, you know, I can get him here 'cause I'll pay to get him here. That's what I got here. Please worth 500, I'm gonna hit him for a thousand. Not so I can skim off the top. So I get better comedians in there now. Now I can pay a guy 250. Come down and do it an hour. Some guy that wouldn't even dream of doing that. But a Tuesday night, he's just gonna sit at home and get yelled at by his wife. He'll come down. And that's how you build a room. Whether it's weekly, monthly, got to always advertise. Tons of pussy there. There'll be a guy selling Coke in the bathroom. You don't paint the picture from, they'll come. They'll come. I wish comics had a, like you're saying quality spots and pay, like it, Pedro's on a level it's hard. Sometimes he's in quality because they're not putting the time into it. If you're just gonna pass that fucking flyers around at the mall, that's not putting time into it. You got to go on a podcast, talk about it, fucking talk about it on Facebook, but you're only promoting one thing. You're promoting this week on Tuesdays and then whatever you have on the road. So it's pretty easy. You promote that one night. That's my everything. That's the night when you get dressed up, you put the fucking Kalona, you know, every city has one of those, right? An open mic that specializes to that. You're home by 1030. You're out there, show start to late. If there's a nick game, you're fucked. 'Cause you can't, you know, you gotta put the nick game on. But these are all those things you worry about later. but this is what you have to do. You have to create your rooms. If I come in here with a fucking mic and go, "Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh." Not too many people going to show up. Maybe you can get a microphone. Make it. Get a DJ down there. 50 bucks. There's a bunch of college kids that want to be DJs. I'll come out and come in. I give you five or six drinks. I give you 30 bucks on my pocket, you know? Come throw some sounds so people can get up and jump up around anything to get people to build that room. Jersey has all these little fucking municipalities like, um, by my house, they have the old bridge community center. They do comedy there, but nobody goes in there. The one, the fire department by my house. They do charities all the time. Yeah. The guy, the guy who's throwing the, uh, uh, the Saratoga comedy festival, he, that's how he, he produced the shows at fire department all the time. That's it. Mm-hmm. You know, it's just, you want it. It's a personal thing, but I love these guys. We had a room for three weeks, but the owner sucks. Now he didn't. He saw that you were worth the shit. You weren't doing nothing to get three people in there. So it's, having a room is no fucking easy thing. No. But you have a negotiation now. You have something to go share with. Hey, when can you do my room? Probably tell you about my room in the Bronx. It's great. It's a challenging place. They see 60 like, uh, boy, Danny Brapp. He's got one little room. So they're fucking years that kid. He's had that room for years. Yeah. That's good. And he doesn't want once a month or something. I think so. Yeah. He got four dollars in Jersey in that old big state, New Jersey. You mean to tell us we can't pull four dollars. Come on, guys. And it's fun. I like it's going to be different in Austin, but like the show by you, if people put it together, right? It's like the most fun show you'll have because in the whole town goes because there's nothing else to do. They have a good time. Very none's doing freeholds on Wednesday nights. Very nothing to do with fucking Marble on Wednesday nights. There's nothing to do in Marbles town on Wednesday nights. They got a bunch of places up there bars and shit. You know, you just want to go to New Brunswick or you don't like right next to next to Benny, but somewhere around that's how you get a room. Well, I came here in 93. I was fucking fudging around doing rooms. I talked to a friend of mine, Jimmy, a baby. You met Jimmy? Kept him Colorado. And I got to tell you if he's half fucking crazy or whatever, but that guy put together four fucking nights that you walked out of a 40 bucks. Listen, when you're a kid, well, I was a grown man and you're getting 160, from somebody on the side, that's a lot of money. When you rent this 800, you know, when you rent this cheap at that time, please give me 160 just to do four shows and all of them were do what you want. I had 18 if I was lucky. You know what I'm saying? I would have like 18 if I was lucky. Right. He paid me like I had 30, you know, nice day. Yeah, that's always good to find. And listen, when you give a comic, you gotta open my 20 bucks. Now, kill for it. You know, when I do a show, and I look at the door at the end, I kind of want people to give me more 30 bucks because now they came, that's how I'm at Becky. That's how I'm at Becky. I just gave it 20 bucks. Thanks for coming to the open mic. And that day in the car, she asked me, go, what are your big credits? She goes, you give me 20 dollars. That's your biggest fucking credit. That's so fun. He would just give people who are other comics that you perform. There's my open mic. Oh, it was. Oh, okay, it turned into like a fucking toilet. Oh, that one, that one. She was at that one. Yeah. Becky was now real young, real quiet. Oh, wow. We had a good time that night. That's night we were eating something. Mushrooms or something like that. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, that was Korea. I forgot about that night. We want to unstage. It was at the hotel. Oh, my God. The hotel. Yeah. That was a long time ago. Fuck. And just to just to fucking correct some things about last week. Okay. Let's get it out of the way. So I land Saturday and I knew I had a show. The show was at 930 or 9. It was one of those late shows. I got took a shower wash. My pussy got dressed when all my notes. And before I get in the fucking leave the hotel, I got a call from Red Band. And he goes, be careful when you go out tonight. It's gay pride. It's really hard to get around town. There's a lot of traffic. And I'm like, fuck, why did I commit to this gig now? I could have just stayed in the hotel, whatever. And it was even worse to get to 6th Street. I wasn't even going to 6th Street. I was going somewhere beyond 6th Street. So when we got there, we waited. I got on stage. And then I got off. We're waiting for Christina Mariano and Ariana. She left that gig to go do another one down the corner. And when she got back, we were stranded there. So it was like, at that time, it was four of us, maybe five of us. We had another guy with us, Matt. We all got in there and went to the mothership. It said it was going to be like 58 minutes to get to the mothership on who I was like, do you know, like 20, right? From that place, like eight. Oh, geez. It's eight minutes away from each other. Unless you go towards, like, ways to well, the other side to West, whatever West Lake. Okay. And the guy was like, nah, I don't want to see two bikes. They just talking like, hey, man, would you take us to 6th Street? I didn't even ask them. I just gave the guy 20. I can get me to 6th Street in 15 minutes. He goes, fuck, yeah, get in. We all got in to two different bikes. We went down the mothership. I got there to see Theo. But when I got there, Theo was about to go on stage. So I jumped on the little stage. Theo, I don't need only three minutes. I go, when did he get on three? I go, put me on in there, by the time I got, we both get off. Well, hang. Well, I got off. He's gone. He's already gone. He's left with some girl. I go, all right. So now we're at the mothership and people like, hey, man, they called here. They said to get down to the beddy. I don't know what the beddy is. I never remember the beddy on my beddy. I'm like, God, let's go to the beddy. Red bands there. But all right, let's go to the beddy. Again, we get out. Now it's even worse. Now everybody got out of the bar. Option. So the streets are fucking, it was like time square, man. And like, and right down the corner by that Thompson was a lady, a guy sitting in a bike. And we had, we had like five of us. And he goes, I'll take all of you. So it was two comedians, Carly, Amanda Merlot and me. And we just flew down to the beddy in that fucking bed. Dude, those things are expensive in New York. I thought you were going to say you're dropping 200 bucks. Those things like they turned like 20 bucks, 20 bucks a block in hell with that motherfucker. He didn't with five people with five people. We're flying. Look at the video. I was down the hill. I thought you're talking about up the hill. No, down the hill. We went whoo fucking fly. And I kept thinking if we hit something, we're just going to die on contact. Nobody got to help it. Nobody got nothing. And he got us there. I saw a Theo outside. And I went in. Then we finished that five. I took another bike home. Then every night I took a bike home because it was just nice. And it was off to get to the hotel. You just go on this and just go straight down that street. You pull right into the parking lot. You pretty much have the rickshaw. It's like, it's the one step away. One of my dreams. I got to find a Chinese guy. I pay him a salary and give him insurance. Do all one K to drive me everywhere. I can't wait to be coming up north on the three smoking a cigarette. Some little Chinese guy. No, just for Austin. That's how you should get a run Austin for your spots on a rickshaw. You know, it was fun. You're liking it. I had a good time sun there. I went like some art show, which I never do. You went to an art show. A bunch of us went down there. It was fucking great. Some comedian, the black kid with the muscles from now on. Oh, Jamar. Jamar. Hey, Uncle Joey here, the fall is here, the leaves are changing, the temperatures getting cooler at night. But you know what's not changing? You're fucking dick. Rock the stiffy. All season long, we're blue chew gold. I took one of those tablets last week. Jesus Christ. Blue chew gold is better sex on the tablet. That's it. It's got four powerful ingredients. Two that get you ready physically and two to support your arousal and desire to your brain. That's a complete different package of blue chews putting together. All I know is that dick gets hard and it grows and it's fucking tremendous. It throbs. That's blue chew gold. Why? 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I didn't do much Sunday night. And Monday nights when it started. Jesus, every night. Every night after that, we went out. But to do comedy. Right. No, I don't think you're going out there. No, party. And I can drink two nights in a row. No. So I always got to take like that with sun. That end drink gets like Tuesday. Wow, you're drinking. And what about? Please. I know you're not drunk. I'm drinking the St. Don Johnson in 1985. And I'm over a bar. No. No. I do three. Two margaritas guys. And you guys know me. That's it. After that, I smoke a cigarette. Once you see a cigarette, come on. That's what you know. Let's put you in a cab. Yeah. When I see a cigarette, go. All right. Joey's good for the night. Have you thought about how you're going to like? Are you going to like set up your apartment? Like, this is quick. It's crazy to me that you're going to have like an apartment, basically, to yourself. No, no, no, no. It's two bedrooms. But people already got dibs. You're in your cell. I already said that's my room. And I don't want nobody sleeping in there. Right. Of course. Great. Great. You don't pay rent. But you know, like set it up. And like, or you can have someone else put it together for you. What is that? I put together. I don't know like that. Are you going to put out like a little bar? No, we're going to get chairs for the bar. Okay. What schools? I'm going to get a couch, a big TV, a computer desk, a stream, whatever the fuck. Okay. And then I don't know what I'm doing on the balcony yet. I got two beds being sent. Or one, but I have to buy a different one with two mattresses. I got to send pots and pans. You're going to cook? No, but I got to have in case somebody wants to cook. I don't cook, but I got to have a couple of pads, you know, just because I don't cook doesn't mean I'm not going to have a fucking, what do you call those? Air fryer? No, the things with all the herbs in them. Oh, spice rack. Yeah. Like, you don't want to get a spice rack, you know. I'm over here hanging out with turmeric. Like you got to do, it's like, it is not one thing, like, you didn't want like a popcorn machine that that Terry won't let you have or like a movie posters. Like, you don't, you're not going to have. I got to send some shit, joy, just in charge of the posters and the new artwork for the apartment. So that's cool. I got them digging. Okay. So I'll start sending everything down. Everything comes in a box. And then it was, dude, I felt like the old days you called me. I think it was last week. You're like, what's you're trying to get me to explain task rabbit to you? Like the thing where people come and hang shit near your house. And I needed again. I was there to raise that text again. Oh my god. But it's just so weird when you find out, like, talk, I'm not a genius on calm. I don't know anything about comedy. I just know what I've done the last 35 years. And I know that I thought I could pull it off with one spot a week, maybe two, not anymore. I'm too fucking old. I got to keep repeating shit a couple nights to really get it in me. I don't do jokes for a week, but I forgot them. You saw me on Atlantic City. I had three jokes. I had to do an hour. All I can remember is three little fucking jokes. You hit me with two runaways. Then I think I'm another one. And then we have a show. We do the best that we can. But I'm not going on there with the confidence I had before the pandemic. No, I'm a year away from that or six months. I lost it right by January. I should be tip top of Google. Ready to do another fucking hour. Yeah. But then you'll throw that away in two weeks. What's that? Yeah. But then you'll throw it away in two weeks. But once I keep doing it repeating, there's a likelihood that they'll stick around more. Yeah. Well, this shit won't forget it. It's impossible. I barely came up with that. Now you want me to remember it for a week? No. And a delivery. No, no, no, no. I fucked up, but it's okay. It's hard. I mean, for you to get a second spot in Austin, I would have never, if you'd asked me when I moved, yeah, I would have said, I would have told you no either. I would have told you no either. But the more I kept going down, I kept going down after stem cell. My knees, my health, I liked it. He'd throw it in with the podcast. It all worked out. But then I started going down. I'm like, hold your horses. One night, I went down to Creek and Cave and I'm like, they're saying it bad. No, that's a great room. That's a little nice little room over there. She gives everybody spots during the week. I haven't even gotten that going and I haven't even gotten broken though. Broken fun. Just so I don't get used to the mother's ship to three different looks, you know what I'm saying? Vulcans, Vulcans more of like a bar club sort of thing. It's, but it's a, it's a lot of, yeah, you're going to, you're going to kill it down there. I just want that extra six. That's a week. Once baseball done, I can stay down there the weekend. Okay. And those little rooms on the weekend are hot. Oh yeah. Because they don't want to see the headliner. They'll go in there. So the small room that I did at Cap City is great. It's great. Like 70 seats. Yeah. It's very, like, it's kind of like the old stage two a little bit. It's those stages a lot smaller, but there's a lot of places for you to work out. I do a lot of you. I'm going to lose weight. What a holiday. It's hard to do in Texas. It's easy for me, man. That shit. I went to the fried chicken plate. I had two pieces. I'm not an animal like that. No, why not? I just lose it now. So I just went on a tear before a month ago. I was on a tear. Atlantic City was the last weekend. We couldn't keep eating like that. I was drinking three ginger elsewhere. Yeah. It's like when you got three three fucking sugary drinks at night and go home, smoke more pot and fucking eat. So I was like, that's it. I got to do something. That's something I blew up enough. I just caught it now. I'm like, let me catch this shit now. Enough with the sodas. I'm eating a lot more fruit at night. Higher protein. Anything just to get a little leaner, you know. Yeah, especially. I don't know what you mean. It must must be. It would be better for you to lose weight. Yeah. Absolutely. everything. Lose some weight at this stage and now I'm gone. I'm getting to the point where I'm starting to obviously do that shit where you don't need you play gondi by yourself Intermittent fasting intermittent fasting. So I'll try to wake up and not eat at all and work out on empty stomach And then I come back in after I play in gondi as a play, much better way to say that. That's so funny Yeah, I got to play gondi once a while with your body Cleanse all the baddest speedy toes mollos That's it. Everybody wants to lose weight, but nobody wants to play gondi The fuck is wrong with Americans. That's the problem is We always drop gondi for something good. Well, I'll do what he did. Don't eat. Just don't eat. It works That's named my new diet. Everybody's playing gondi. That's it suck my dick You got to play gondi every day. That's it. We're too fat No, that's a really good advice. Oh my god to fat. Just play gondi fucking thing on you know the great gondi said No, the great gondi need for like a year. Why don't you do that cocksucker and then give him no G.O.P. Pineapple juice and then that motherfucker did it on raw indian strength. Oh my god. Just don't eat Yeah, that means no tacos and awesome That's nighttime you have a window and you got to eat everything. Yeah. Yeah, so that's not bad If I could go up till nine o'clock at night Notty and then just open the fucking barrels to hours You still have to count calories. Yeah, but how many calories you're gonna eat a lot of stomach is shrinking like a mother fucker So if you do decide to get a paella, it's gonna blow up your stomach and you'll feel worse So you got even small little windows. Mm-hmm. This is just what I read online. I know X. But I know that's how I did But it's like four tacos at night. Well fuck your shit up if you had dinner already No, I'm not gonna eat that. I'm gonna live on the street like a cat So if you're not playing gondi a little on the street as a cat. They pick a pick. They pick here. They pick there. They pick everywhere That's crazy shit man. I got listen. You asked me a question I left here. We all laughed and giggled, but it wasn't a jockey question for me And it was the one about what your five-year window at this point I don't have a five-year window, but why is the August 19th 19-month window So I turned 65 and that's the window I'm going for I'm going for everything until I drop dead. Oh, oh a 65 a bust 65 a bust then we'll reevaluate everything But right now take it some movement. I'm happy my family's happy. You guys seem happy Fuck it. Let's go. We're going to a major festival. Then we're going to Wisconsin. Then we're going to fucking Tosoko home in December You know, it's time and then I didn't drop the other news on you starting January Starting January my Thursday night is gonna be wrapped around something else I'm gonna take one person for me every time different We go we do the fucking room at Joe's okay and Friday morning we get up and we fly to casino in Arizona or New Orleans Because my agent was down there. We were talking. He goes wrong. We do this You got the casino in New Orleans Dallas, Houston do six months. I'm real close to Austin Yeah, so we're back home on Sunday still Then the other guys will meet us down there I can only take you or one other guy. He's on Pedro one week the Chinese girl one week and then That that's Friday or Friday will all meet. Okay. So that's the way to do it. I'll try to take Friday off We could all meet in that city and hang out Before Saturday morning. That'll be on Friday night. So that's dog The coconut has been cooking lately. You motherfuckers ask me a question. I took it seriously. I'm like how can I have I didn't have an answer for you Right, I did not have an answer for you and it bothered me And that's the best answer I can get 18 months I'm 65 then we'll see what the fuck is going on Yeah, and that's it then we'll decide from there if I don't want to travel I'll pick up a residency somewhere once a month New York, Sony Atlantic City, Philadelphia. I'll pick up something Just to bring some grapes home every year. See that you're not sitting there like a fucking old man. Right. No Dude you could do this In like at 80 I think I don't like that you're falling though Like do you is it like did you is it just random do you think? No, no, my knee got my foot got caught on the nail thing. It was it was a barricade So they sample those big long nails into the floor, right so you can't push them barricades Somebody did something and twisted that screw. Okay, so my foot. I mean bruh. I can't yeah. I wasn't gonna go up Where you gonna go down? It caught me right on the tip of the shoe when I had the new sneakers on I didn't bring up for just I got some new 824s. I got them on sale and shit at dicks 99 bucks, but I got a dicks and it's 99 bucks. I get it. I got myself from a 24th of the zipper You're sure with a zipper on it now. Yeah. Oh fuck. I hate them though. Why they're not comfy Yeah, those are great those are my favorite. I think I have these they don't have these now They had them like with a purple stripe or some uncle joy don't wear purple stripes. No, you know what I'm saying So you learn something to worry fucking day and that's it. Listen. I felt a lot better Since I went back to that thing. I went back to goals I said all right. That's the end January of 2000 whatever is my end Then we'll get up we wake up and we rally with it and see who we're at if I'm sucking and if it's really That I'm getting too old then we pull the plug we do some else we play GTA hmm Do you that like with Austin coming up and the how the flights are Could you do it every month for a year and do you think Look, I'm used to the flight now and I got such a scam at the airport now It's it's embarrassing I know everybody now. Oh, yeah, now I walk in and the guy but while I'm fucking Already scanning with your phone. He's already got the handicap Tell him it's my mother and all this shit. So by the time I get to him I give my duke him when I get up there. He takes my luggage And I got a wheelchair to take me. We make a few stop-stubble here All right off the bat. I give her a 20 because I see white people All white fat people give him three bucks. The lady just pushed you from gate 92 You know saying she's half your weight your fat fuck So I give it right off the before you even sick is for you Got me there And we zoom through the airport and then she waits with me If I want while I eat my food that I picked up on the run. Yeah, she waits with me And I get right on the fucking thing. She pulls me up first But to get on the plane. Okay, and I tell a brother saying I hear another 10 your job ends now take a hike And I go down the stairs by myself, but I'm the first one on the plane And then when I land it up. I don't they're already waiting for me in the hallway Mr. Deal There's like there's four people wheelchairs. They'll be three and not one for me once I show them the 20 Come on get in. It's like that person strong. They push me up the rent They don't give a fuck. I'm like you sure? No, no, no, no. They guys pick at me up. I am And then he pulls up again Fuck yeah, we stop. I take a piss. I Take some money out of ATM. I get a soul. I buy him a juice or whatever the fuck he wants and they take me right the luggage I take my luggage last week. The guy walked me to my wife's car And fucking garage number three walk me to the car To that garage. Yeah, I gave him 25 this guy right off the bat. He's like no, no, I'm with you That's great right to my meanwhile my wife and daughter. I like two miles behind. I'm just sitting on my sleep back What That's all we had to get a scam out of the work I had to figure out a fly out there efficiently and I did Do you have their numbers? No, I just don't wave. Oh, you know, I You cut it into fours and just show them like this scratchery and they already know what's going on That's how that's amazing. You get me 20, but at the time you get to the window and calling your Monsieur All right, one's last time somebody called you Monsieur. I'm cheap. I even want like I never do like the curbside checking thing The way into like what what is the call? Well, you check your bags at the gate at the curb And you're supposed to give them like five ten bucks a bag. Okay. I know I know I always go I'm cheap. I go in and wait I don't like Dude, I would love Every time I go to JFK I want to get on those golf carts and I have no idea how to get on one of those like big golf carts Or do you like the wheelchair? I like the wheelchair, but they usually have the carts. Yeah with nine people on it. Yeah, I give him like to 20 don't put nobody on Just me People hey, thank you For two but nobody. Oh, yeah vote for me. They got a 20 don't stop at nobody Don't stop fuck these motherfuckers. They're all cheap. Yeah, gotta give them the man of 20 all these I'm cheap. Okay. I'll try it next time But yeah, so I appreciate that question on the podcast of course dude. It really changed me a lot and made me Hunkered down and that's all I'm worried about now the next 18 February what's next year? 27 to 28. What I'm worried about to February 28th, I'm not booking a date after that or anything. I'm just going to stick to that, give them the best I could do. In those 18 months, I got a poll date, or I could stay in the game and not retire because I retire from SAG. And what does that mean? Like you won't act any of the months. Oh, okay, we're tired now. Or do you? It's too early. I think about quitting that shit every week because I'm just paying dues. I've only worked once in three years. He's got to pay dues. If you retire, you can't be, you can act. No, you can act. You can make a comeback and act in time to talk. Okay. All right. Then they'll fucking, but if you want your pain, they'll work against your pension and shit. Okay. But I don't even know what I'm doing, but I'm pretty happy. I'm happy with the plan I got. There's no movies. There's no television. There's no Netflix involved. It's just me, you guys in the road. That's pretty normal. That's that we could be. And then we'll schedule some festival in Jersey. That'd be fun. All of the fucking gangster squad. And do one of those lounges to like a new face to show for you guys. That'd be great. And that's it. We'll have a great year next year. I'm excited to see how you're standing up, bros. Me too. I'm excited to see where it goes at this age also, you know. My home is good. Everything at the house, the GTA, Pedro's Hill. We had the best night of our lives. Fucking swimming. I don't know what happened. We with a shot us off a bridge. And we had a swim, bro, whenever my car, listen, whenever my car hits the water, I'm dead. But I did swim. I learned how to swim this time. So I was rocking it. Human style, like a motherfucker. Human style. That's amazing that he's gotten you to play it. Then that crazy Carly, she got noise effects and shit that are so fucking good. Every time she fucking makes the noise, everybody's having a good time. I don't care if I'm 63. I don't care if I'm not supposed to be planning because I'm old. I'm having a good time. Where in the root book does this say I can't play 'cause I'm old. Your rule book. That's right, motherfucker. Yeah. Like Nicole used to, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, motherfucker. But that's it. And that's that man. I love to see you because I missed you last week. I missed all you guys last week. I wish that the world was this. I wish I didn't have a big plane that we could just leave here at midnight, like on a whim. And it would be great to call men and go, men's back a bag. What do you mean? No, no, no, Vamanos, back a bag. We'll leave without you. We'll send for you next week. I'll send you, don't worry, a message you get to you. We'll get a message to you. Same thing, Mama, back a bag. And you ain't coming this time. There's the CIA. This is top level comedy shit. That's my dream. That's we got to get a little plane, a little plane, like something that I don't care if it's missing a wing. I do. Just, bro, fuck it. We live together. We die together. We take our chances. Take our chances. That's right. Dude, the last thing we had a little plane, you pubes. It's okay. Well, we put a chance. No, no, in the dream. Let's go on like the big one. Okay, that's good to know. That's what we do. What's the thing called when people go donate cakes are? No, the other thing. You put a picture of your son after he got it by a car. Go fund me. Go fund me. Yeah, we should go fund the plane. Love to do it. It was good to see you guys. It was good to see you, motherfucker. I'm sorry. We're going to be giving you some more shit. I forgot to do a Twitch video tonight. You know how that goes? We got too busy. But this week I am at the Dojo on Wednesday night. Where would a fuck that is? Where's a Morris planes, Morris planes, New Jersey. And then I'm in Austin after 9/11. So that's all I got right now. I posted something up at the improv September 30th in Brooklyn. We're going back there. What do you got this week, Tarzan? This week, big one, drip at the stand. It's like 7.38 o'clock camp. Yeah, that's a good show people. That's a very good show. Very good show. Very excited. I'm all over New York. And then my big ones are later in September, the Saratoga Comedy Festival. And I have Florida. I have two, I have three shows in Florida, Boca and Tampa. You had a lining, right? Yep. And Boca and Tampa. Yeah, it's going to be very exciting. DJ English is tonight. I don't know, you know, I don't know what's going on with that. So, but DJ English is tonight at the cutting room. 7 o'clock, be there or B square motherfuckers, all right? Thank you for watching. Thank you for another great week and we love you at all our hearts. Say good night, Lee. Good night. Stay Black. [Music]