LIVE: Natasia Demetriou talks horny vampires, dating apps, and cults

Hello fellow humans, welcome to the Hot Mess Club House, a podcast celebrating funny women hosted by me Lucy Vine. I hope you've had a lovely week, I've been holed up in my house working on my next book, it's due with my editor very soon and it's fine, I'm not paddicking at all, let's talk about it. This week we welcome a new member to the Club House, comedian, actor and screenwriter Natasha Dmitriu. You may know her as Sophie in Channel 4's Staff Let's Plats, or her huge new show, What We Do in the Shadows, which started on the BBC at the weekend and is so great. Natasha is absolutely lovely and ridiculously funny and amazingly cool, so I hope that comes across in our chat. Also, she came with me to the pub afterwards, so I felt super cool. We recorded this live in front of an audience at Waterstones Gower Street in March and I'm really dumb with recording equipment and I completely messed it up, so this is actually my backup recording. The sound is a bit echoey and non-amazing but hopefully you can forgive me because Natasha is such a goddess, I couldn't not put this into your out. On that note, you can come along to the live recordings if you like, I try to do the monthly and you can find out details on my social media and website. Follow me @lecd and yes, thank you for asking, I do regret that username. I hope you enjoy this chat and if you do, a review would be much appreciated. So, oh my god, firstly I have to say a huge huge congratulations because it's been kind of mega 24 hours video hasn't it? So last night was the first episode of the new TV series, what we do in the shadows, out in the US at the moment. And also, the news that Staglet's Plats has been nominated for a fucking bath, so you're a great girl. I just want to thank you so much for having me. I'm really glad you're here. I'm very glad to have you. So, welcome to the clubhouse, it's a bit like Scientology. We have very good about it. Have you ever considered joining Scientology or the Illuminati or something like that? I haven't actually, because my mum is in a very similar religion. So many. She is in a religion that was actually so basically when I went to a clubhouse and I went to a clubhouse and I went to a clubhouse and I was like, "What's his name? El Ron Hobbit. El Ron Hobbit considering the chat about Scientology in the 70s. And then this man went along with like, "I can do that." And then started the religion my mum then joined. It's a real problem. No, it's not. It's the thing, it's just like, it's just my sweet classic mother. It's just like, "Blanc Scientology." Like, there's no drama, no being anyone up, but it's absolutely everything nonsense. Yeah, no. Yeah, no, no, no, no, I cannot be dealing with that. But maybe we're religions. Maybe once you get cast into a top cruise film. Oh, big time. No, I'll do anything for the business. I'll do that for you. That's really, really hard. Sure, sure. So we're going to start with the clubhouse initiation, which is basically just a kind of get to know you quick fire, but it doesn't actually quick. It's like a slow fire. Okay. When was the last time you made a fuss in public? Oh, wow. I'm such a scared public. Oh, I feel like you did. No. That's not really the first time public. Oh, we have, as a family, collectively, we have dogs. Oh, yes. So we have two dogs, but they're sort of mine and my parents and my brother cannot be doing with them. I feel that's because he's an adult. And if anyone has a problem with dogs, I have a serious problem with them. Because I think, you know, since I can allergy on you, it's savage by a dog when you're younger. There's no need that I, if you don't like them, then I don't. I don't like that. You're a psychic about younger ones. And so I get to live it when people like give the dogs a look. And I say, "Sup, should I do this?" So I just walk. So I just walk. Big mark. Like, Bill has just pulled out my mouth. I like it. Like really swearing. There's one woman we went to park and it was like, "Cliss-all Park in Stoke Newton. Am I right?" "All right, Stoke Stoke Newton." There's a bit where it's quite near crossing. And my tiny white dog, tiny, so enthusiastic, they're beach on breezes. They were rescued, but they are sort of a breed. I have problems with breeds on the whole. But so my sweet little dogs just said, "Walking out into the swimmer's house." It's like, "No!" Like, and a ran. And they were like, "Yeah, she's playing with us." So they followed her and she ran out of the park and said, "They ran into the boat." And I honestly nearly came to that. Like, my leg went, like, when I had someone to kick out. So that's a very long answer to the group call. And I guess it's like, "I am so excited." "Do you Google yourself?" I have done recently. Yeah, it's so disgusting. Is it horrible? Well, you found my saying, surely. Really weirdy, actually, that I Google myself recently because someone told me to do myself because I'm on this thing called wiki feet. And it's like a fairy. So feet. I don't know if it's just like facts about, like, just like, "I got four out of five stars to my feet." Do you get your feet out a lot? No. It's just like a real, it's like an old holiday snap that I was like, someone's dog out from Facebook and might be on wiki feet. And the other thing is, it's actually to meet through and then it comes out, knickers. It's sexy. I keep getting on Instagram, like, a famous person, belly button. So Caroline Flags, belly button follows me and then sent me a message saying, "Hang." "Hang." "Hang." "Now we're dating." "Who is your favourite member of your family and don't change, don't have them?" Oh, God, that is so tough. I have to say, "My parents." I have to say, "Pick one." "My problem?" "My problem?" "Just he's the only one person in the world who knows what it's like to live like we do." "The only one that knows what it was like in Christmas in 1997." "But we're going to have to find out through a roasting room at the mall." "You know, you just. " "The whole roasts it up." "Yeah, the old anger." "He gets very, I was excited and stressed out in Christmas." "Who is that?" "Who is that?" "I'm probably the only one." "How good or bad was your first kiss?" "I'd say actually better than I thought because my best friend was having her first kiss on the bench next to me." "Oh, I was." "Two seconds before and I was like. " "Who is that?" "Yeah, so I know I clocked, I was like, it looks like they did that thing where you like that first kissing where you lock." "And your body doesn't move, but your tongue just goes around." "And I could tell that's what they're doing and I was like, I was like, acquiring the old to my first kiss." "So, you know, we were like 15-ish and I was desperate." "So I watched a lot of films where I knew you just put your hand in the boys hair." "Oh, I felt like I did that." "It was just a bit, it wasn't the worst, it wasn't the worst, it wasn't the worst." "Do you have a nickname you secretly hate?" "Yeah, my old friend's called me 'Groomla' and I don't know why." "And this was a disgusting word." "Yeah." "Well, I find it really embarrassing that people call me 'Tash' because I would never introduce myself as 'Tash' because I think it's so overconfident, like, 'Hey, 'Tash'." "Your thing is super good, my name is Natasha." "I thought obviously all my friends and family call me 'Tash' and everyone I know." "Do you not like 'Tash'?" "No, I don't mind it, I'll explain this to you." "I hate the thought that people would think I would be like, 'Tash'." "This is so weird, I think it's so embarrassing to be like, 'Tash' is like, 'But you don't mind like a bike or something like that?' "No, because I didn't come in and go 'Hate to action'." "I met a girl with a 'Tash' trap man and she was so like, 'Tash' jamming." "It's not your name, I don't know, I just thought that someone would think I'd given myself a nickname." "Hate, I just saw a girl." "I just saw a girl tell me that." "Do you ever find and jump out of people?" "Oh my god, all the time, I've been trying to be a type of scary." "Love a scare video, absolutely obsessed with scare videos." "We're trying to actually write a scene in Stassi Ritu where my character is scared." "Gave you a character to staff, but she's just not really doing anything." "She's sort of like, 'Hello?' and every time you can see she's like, 'Oh my god, the compliment!' "I love a scare, yeah, love a scare, I will jump and jump." "I'm dysphatic though, or just slash, that's not real thing, I'm just a mass of clumsy limbs." "So I don't, I'm not very good at it, I will do it." "How do you react to being cackled?" "I get very confused, I'm getting better, but it just takes me off guard because I think we're thanks to the Patreon feed boo. "I'm so programmed to thank compliments." "So I was walking to the tube station once, and there's Carpool going on, went, 'Do you know where he's been to Chichubas?' "It's on the high roads, it's literally there, and I was like, 'Oh, it's just there!' "Yeah, you've got lovely tits, and I went, 'Oh, thanks so much!' "I've seen them!' "The most recent time I got cat-cord was my ex-boyfriend R.O.P. "If we were walking along, and I stayed at his house and I didn't have any t-niccos, so I was like, 'Oh, I really think of this.' "I just said that to him in the morning, just to let him know. Not in a sexy way, just, I don't know anything, so you know, things are going to be rubbing. "I don't know. So just to tell you, cool facts, I know. "Distride me when, 'Oh, give us a smelly niggas or something.' something rank and I was like trying to think so too, my with your website. Not wearing any. Are you a person who announces you're going to the Lou and what you're doing or are you more euphemistic? I know this is my favourite joke guys, if you want I know you can do it. I just get you anything. I'm just being really hard on straights for Lou. Love that. Congratulations Natasha. Thank you. You've passed the hot mess class initiation as a welcome to the club. Here is a party by full of shit gifts. You're a lot of prison. Don't mind me. You might be missing your fanfare. I actually stole the ones they didn't work so much money. I like to get them out of the party. And then the other thing you're there. Oh, slide. What are you listening? The woman in WH Smith told me it's lying has one more year. What is that? It's a fashion idea. Is it forever? Can you explain for anybody who doesn't understand? Because I don't understand. I've got new slime tricks in the house. I just got the slime when I broke up with the Norwegian boyfriend. I just was because you know you break up your boyfriend, you read our Logan Scram and that's it. Your life's best been ever. And I was like on one of those like satisfaction things. And I was always a big slime fan. Me and my brother were always into slime. There was this thing called gap. And if a Logan used to make gaps, we just always want to Christmas and never get it. But you know we have said it by sea, but it's quite hard. Anyway, and then I've found slime. And it caught tonight a day later, I'm buying a fat of PVA glue and some kind of paints every way. Oh no, you need that borax and importing borax in America. That's quite hard. So do you feel with this brand of slime? Is it good quality? To me, I'm really very sad this looks too thin. Okay, there's some slime going on there. What you want is you want to thickness, you want to crunch, you want to texture. So like putting polystyrene balls in a slime that it's going to be heaven and you just feel it and just sit. It's like ASMR. And so let's talk about what we do in the shadows. I very much enjoyed your transfer being in accent. Thank you. And was that hard to get a hand long? Can we get a song? It's so I just did a sort of greek accent. But a bad greek accent. So basically, Jermaine is Jermaine Clement who wrote it. And his wife is Greek and he really liked, I think that's when he liked that I that I'm part sip clear and we have like similar stories about crazy relatives. So he really pushed for the Greek thing and then I was doing it a bit Russian and I felt like it was Russian. So I was trying to make it a bit more green. For anyone who doesn't know about what we do in the shadows or haven't watched the film. You think. I mean obviously definitely watch it but would you like to tell everybody watch the TV series of that? So yeah, so I'm so glad that I'm dressed. I don't know what to do. There's a show there was a film made by what we do in the shadow. By Jermaine Clement and Tyker Wattiti Jermaine was in a thing called Flight the Concourse that everyone knows. Everyone knows that one. And Tyker's directed loads of like fancy films now. And then so they make this film. It's like a mockumentary of that vampires. So it's living in New Zealand. It's just getting on with like the menu sure of every day life living in modern world. And then they I think Paul Sims who's the showrunner the show who works at FX was like I think this would be really good at TV series and then like forced them into doing a TV series. And then they cast some seriously boring people in it. One of them went on a podcast and ruined the show. Yeah, it was weird. I have one line in a film called The Festival and we were filming a Bristol but I was sort of in the background. I was essentially an extra. So and the lead actress and that is one of my best friends called Claudia Adorezzi. He's an amazing actress, comedian woman. So we were having dinner in Bristol and then like all the cast were there in Ian Morris who directed it. So and I just weirdly got plumped next to Jermaine and I was like, "Fuse Cross, we're in an Indian restaurant. I'm going to go hold while on a party in a minute." And I can't contain myself in pottedons and like for dips. So I'm like, "Saster." And then he went, "I know you, you're the teacher to make sure you're in another life." And then he had to be able to put it some podcast. So podcast is fantastic. So yeah, and then but then it was like six months later that I got the audition and then I, because we followed each other on Twitter because of that thing, I did message him going, "I just audition for your show and I parted during the audition." Do you really? Yeah, I'm a constantly party. I'm constantly, so it's a constant, just a little bit of air just coming out. And I did some alright. And he went, he mess you up and it was excellent. And I was like, "We're a very sweet man." So I did take it from that and then yeah, I got a callback and didn't stop screaming and jumping around. It was absolutely amazing. It was very exciting. Yeah, did you get to do any of that flying? They did it so much. It was amazing. It is at first and then you're like, "Ouch, it's so painful." And then you're like, "Where are you going?" Exactly, number one. And number two, so it depends if you've got sort of sorted out by a male stunt person. They'd never do this, but a female one would, all the female ones would have gel pads. They have these like thick gel pads to put on your. You're in love? Why don't I question say that? I've said fuck you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm only funny. A big thick pad there. And there, because you literally are just like. When you're up in the air, it's sort of fine, but it's when you're sat, when you're on the ground because they have to have it so tight and you just feel like a massive baby. Just like a big baby and you can't really stand up because you're just in this like, well, the technique for telling them to try it first. But yeah, it is fun, but also like, out. And also, I was wearing such heavy costumes. I'm not complaining, it was very exciting. No, that sounds amazing. And Terrell obviously, Paul, Bonnie. Yeah. Have you always loved vampires when you were fan Buffy and Twilight? I was late to the vampire game. Actually, you're behind the slime. Yeah, because I'm a slime-slicing. Yeah, I really love Twilight though. I read Twilight books because I love a shit books. I love a shit story. I love, you know, things show to great. Give it to me. So. Did you like it sexy there? Fifty shades. I was so aroused. And I was reading one of. I can't remember if I was like the third one. I was on holiday with my friend. And I was literally like, if she tries it on with me, I won't say no. Like, it was. I'd like, look at how I'd be like, "This was so hot on this beach." Like, my best friend, I won my old disfrains. And I was literally like, "Please, just touch me." Yeah, I was pulsating. But yeah, no, Twilight big time. Big time, big time. I loved the books, like the films. So, I mean, those vampires are very. So I was going to ask which vampire you prefer, the Twilight, the Buffy, the Dusty-O-Dorn vampires? I think, I. Yeah, Twilight, I think just that like, inspired, aesthetic sort of like, teenage last. Yeah. Love it. Really? Just as horny as possible. This is the thing that's all about vampires. Obviously they're age. If a challenge runs for 20 years, would you just have extensive surgery? St. Mary. They paint for it? Yeah. If you do the contract, I'll do anything. Would I have extensive surgery? I would like to think, "No, but I am like sort of obsessed, such horrified consistently," by the Kardashians, about, and I just. But one thing I'm really. I'm like, "They have so many amazing face-holes." Yeah. Like, that's the thing that I'm like, "If I had my knee, I would be like getting my blood pumped back into my face." (Laughter) Do I need more of that? But you're only that allowed. That's just like, maintaining. (Laughter) It's not surgery. It's just like, "Food for your sweet little face that paints such a fat or a myphotos." It's lovely. It's like, "Get a smack to 20 books over there." (Laughter) If you were a vampire, who would you eat? Wow. Would you eat any exits? Are there any exits you wouldn't eat? Oh, all of them and all of them. I'd eat them and I wouldn't eat them. Okay. I'm not very. I don't know what I'm doing. Is it because you're fond of exits or are just too disgusting to eat? No, I just like. I love. I think like, for me, if I kissed you, then I love you. (Laughter) If I kissed you, then we're going to have. Then our sex be a marionette girl. (Laughter) I'm so. I'm so like. I'm so like, a lamb meal. Like, I'm just like, "If I'm not. If I'm not looking for anyone, I'm just like, "Mah, don't care." And then if I like. If I see someone, I like them, "Well, it's something happens." Then I'm like, "All right, we're going to have a race." (Laughter) So, I both love and hate them because it didn't work out/ that I thought they were the one. So, we eat them. We leave them. (Laughter) We consume them. We consume them. Yeah. We also leave them. (Laughter) I do sort of think that drinking blood is pretty fair price to pay for being really sexy forever. Would you want to live forever? Depends who was about. (Laughter) I'd go to the estate. Yeah, I'd need to know who was going to be around. because yeah and that could be some serious bad chat. Would you be willing to drink blood as a payoff? You could bring Jamie with you, bring a couple of your coolest Ellie can come with you. Would we be like healthy or would we be like super sexist? We didn't twilight vampires. Yeah I'm so much more, I'm not afraid of dying. I'm quite happy, let's get on, let's get over with it, I'm tired. English have a sleep? Yeah, I'm much more, I think my friend said like to, like, they're either petrified in dying, whereas I'm like, I don't care, but I'm more petrified about being alive when other people die. I can get really dark with it done. That's fine, I like dark. I thought it'd be, you know, well, we were like, oh, do you remember, James? He was in like, seven air. He's dead. You know, like, being at that point in your life, we were like, oh, do you remember? That florist, dead. Doesn't exist anymore. That could give me a half-up stations. Well, no, I wanted to talk about the incredibly funny stuff that's flat. After nominated stuff that's flat, another one was just like, and you're rather Jamie who you've kind of mentioned a lot of times. He's been nominated for a BAFTA as well. Yeah. It's just amazing, and it's been renewed for Sanctuary and Tite. When you were kind of talking about the Sanctuary, did you up your price with Jamie? You know, I'm kind of a big deal now. Oh, God no, I would do anything for that boy. So much nicer than I thought, I'm proud of you. No, I'm not doing that. Doing that show with those producers and that, you know, it would have been in the works, like, hanging around for like six or seven years. And it's so, to me, it feels, it's like so representative of like the group of people we all started doing, like, comedy with, and like, how many, like, knockbacks and like, dog-ass things we had to do. And like, you know, having no money and just trying so hard to ever get anything. That alone was show on TV, so then when it got commissioned for a series, we were all beside ourselves. And so, yeah, just when we were on set making it, I was like, I don't believe it. I don't believe it. You could say the whole thing about wanting to do this as a job for me was like, you get to write stuff for the people that you think are funny, yes. And you still get to do that comedy. You can come up with a panel show idea. That'll get made. But like a character comedy where you're like, I know he's really going to be timid and like, thick, our robots. Let's get him to play that. I know he's great at being like mad and like, pushy, Katie Wiggs. Usually it's like some commission or a producer will be like, what am I thinking? What about Sean Walsh? There's like, what is Sean Walsh? There it is. But you know, not to make it about that, but you know, like just in that way to just have like that freed. It was just like, you know, there are no shows like that. I mean, Matt Berry does. Matt Berry made toast. And then like, I don't, Steve Cougar made an cartridge, but there are no like character for long proper character. I don't think, I'm sorry. This country obviously, I'm sorry for getting to put it there. I just, I think that this country people just do nothing like they've been, they're fine. They're like news sort of, yeah, on the whole. They're like rare things to happen. Do you want to quickly explain what it's actually been? I'm sorry, yes. It's not. No one wants to see what we have seen. It's just about, so about, lettings agents in North London called Michael Lee Wellettings. And it's Jamie, my brother plays staff who's an estate agent. And I play his very, very thick sister. Who is not based on anyone in our family. Yeah, it's just us being like thick North London estate agents. It's so funny. Nobody should watch it. If you haven't already watched it, I think. Will Sophie ever try her hand at being a letting agent? I don't know. She's so keen to be famous. I just want you to say so for so long. Yeah, no, it's too thick. She's too thick. She's being a letting agent. More thick than the staff. I think she might be. We talked about this a lot. And I think she is thicker than staffed. Because she's like, staffed at least is trying. She's just like, "Yes, not anymore." I'm just like, "That one, that's mine." Have you ever had any jobs that you knew you were terrible at? I'm hoping you never done. No, I'm serious about poster thing, Bidjiks. All the time, it's all the time. All the time. But aside from that, no, I worked as a driving nurse for about six months. I was being on Saturday jobs because my brother was the prince. And I was the hog. Why are you not so mad? Because he's a prince. I was the one who had his paper round I had. I worked as a cleaner, T-Salt Hatch, cleaned my friends' parents' toilet. T-Salt, I worked at pub. Did you quit all these jobs? I was a reset. I stopped doing the cleaning because I moved on to doing work at Charl Salk, which is like a makeup shop. And I was going to be a big time in the big time in Comgaard and doing a Saturday job where I got treated like absolute shit. I was bad at the driving job and I ended up getting fired because I honestly. I don't know what happened. I looked at the clock, I finished at four. And I looked at the clock, I thought it said five to four. And my mum had just called on and said, 'Tat, I'm in East Finchley.' And I was like, 'Oh, hang on, you can give me a lift home.' Anyway, and then so I was like, said to my boss, 'I'm going to leave five in the cell if that's okay.' And then just left. And then the next week he was like, 'Doth come back here.' 'Doth, how was it?' 'I was going to leave a clock.' 'Oh, sorry, I was going to work at like two o'clock.' And I just bin like, he was like, 'Huh? Don't come back.' So you and Jamie, I read this interview that described you in him as the British comedy's most lovable sibling idiots. How do you feel about that? Who said that? I think you might be in the independent. You're the single. I love that. Yes. You do work with Jamie, obviously a lot. Has there never been any concern from casting directors like that you would get on? Oh, no, never that. More, we can't cast them together because they have to kiss. You know, like, there's been a couple of times when it's been like a boyfriend girlfriend. And it's got sort of quite far down the line whilst doing it. And they're like, 'Eh, they're brother and sister.' So you are? It's just not right. Oh, I'm always on for it. This is Game of Thrones. Yeah, no, I do this has happened where I definitely think this has happened where it's like, we've got one to meet for you, we don't need the other one. And that generally is, I'm the other one, I'm, I'm a pig. But that's because I'm a girl and it's less important for girls to be like, you know, being comedy. It's changing, but in the past, you know, Jamie wrote scripts and it was a comedy, I wrote script and it was a theme of comedy. Yeah, I'm very familiar with this. Yeah, it's true. Yeah. You're right to something with your comedy partner, Ellie. Yeah, we just filmed a sketch show, which is insane because sketch shows just don't get commissioned. Me and Ellie have pitched for like six million types of shows, sketch shows, it's not a sketch show, it's a magazine show, it's not a magazine show, it's a stand-up sketch. You know, like just trying to hide it, it's female syndrome. Yeah. That is amazing. It's amazing, so amazing, so amazing. And then yeah, but then it was like a really, really long time before we made it because I had to go and do the vampire show. So yeah, we literally just filmed, we spent all the first part of this year writing it and then we just filmed it. And then literally just before I came on, I got a text from Alpadyo, being like, it's finished because they've been doing the sound mix. And I'm just like, I don't know, good, that good. Are you putting your family in this one? Jamie's in it, but we literally, it was like, it's a very low budget, you know, so BBC three type things. So we had to film it in like two or two or three days, three days. So yeah, and it takes about three days, my dad's going to be off the sofa. No, but if we ever got a series, I would always put my dad in everything. But it's too exciting for him, you know, it's too much in these times. You know, it needs to be, you need to visit the set, see what's going on, go home, have a sleep, come back. And then maybe like, right, the end, you can just like put him on a sofa. I'm a bit obsessed with your dad, he sounds amazing. Yeah, your family seems to impure that your comedy got a lot. So can we about growing up? Were you always a funny kid? I don't, probably, I just think disgusting, disgusting kid. In what sense? We'll just you look at videos of yourself. I think past the age of about six or so and you're like oh, rank Like I think you're cute up until about four and then all of a sudden you're just saying no I've just All right now we've got two and so Jamie's oh sweet and I am genuinely spreading my all behind Sproding mask I have a tantrum every video. I do want to be on the - I don't know, I don't know. - I don't know. (laughing) - Yeah, no. - I definitely found that dissimilar to now. - No, no, I probably remember the question. - No, no. Did you want to be famous? Was that something you ever thought about when you were growing up? - I do, I still don't think, I don't think I want to be famous. I like being like discussed, like, you know, just like ratting around. (laughing) But yeah, I did, I was always like a show, a show off here probably a show off, I think. Yeah, like I always like, you know, on home videos, I was obsessed with getting me and my brother to do a scene from a film, I don't know what film it was of us walking off into the sunset. And I was always trying to get him to do it. He'd always fall down at the beginning and I get so angry at have a tantrum. But I had like a Cassio G keyboard with a demo on it that was like, (laughing) and I was always obsessed with doing nice off. Very like, like in my head, my mom would just film on the camcorder, and it would be really slow motion. And I would look like like Castigali and like, she was talking. But I was like an eight year old boy (laughing) with like, you know, a middle-party, three, and like, piss of mine if it's so, you know. (laughing) So no, I don't think I don't know if I do, I don't think, I think fame is such a, being famous is so rank. Especially these days, it's like, what even is it? I don't know. I mean, I love cash. I'll do anything with cash. (laughing) But, I'll have a bit of it. Yeah, but being like, very famous, I think it just always is, who's been deeply sad and I'm sad and not. Yeah, I was sort of, look at Inter, I know you've had some mixed feelings about Instagram being come on and off, but I do really enjoy it in spam stories, and there was something that made me laugh so much the other day was just this carousel of dating side. Oh yeah, yeah. And I really wanna join the, the Diver one and the Salad match one. Anyone, any of these, all of these dating sides? I really, really joined Clown dating. I found that one. It's 'cause I found Clown dating and I was like, what other? Like, I do googling words. I just, yeah, so my, like, very, I find it very soothing to just be like, hmm, think of something like small trousers. I just Google it and then see what comes up and then you just get like a wash and like insanely, in funny images, all of the interesting images. And I just give them to my audience. (laughing) I'm just a fan. I'm giving them to my three fans. Yeah, so that, that I just found Clown dating. I was like, I wonder what other weird dating sites there are, Dating for Metal Lovers, dating for gluten free dating, gluten free singles. Yeah. That was one I thought was that I need to get on. Yeah. Are you dating at all? Are you on the horrible dating apps? No, I can't not just put a picture of a dog with a microphone on my picture. Like, I can't take it seriously. I find it too, I don't know. I'm too scared. It's me, I'm a pussy. Like, I'm too scared of too scared of rejection. I'm too scared of the awkwardness. I'm too scared. I have been accepted onto this dating app. My friend probably called Raya, which is the movie in the industry, right? So I did get accepted onto that, but my friend went on it and the first two people who she saw were Moe and Matthew Perry. LAUGHTER I don't want to know. I don't want to know either that Matthew Perry is swiping away or she has to go on a date and say, "Shall I name it?" Yeah, I mean, she's got to go on for that, but you know, you're just like, the people that are on those, it's going to be like, really sad, thick models and like, you're eating disorders and moving. LAUGHTER I find them really depressing. I know that you spoke on a not-to-measure ad or box. Yeah, I know. I just keep hearing un-admitted. This story, but yes. LAUGHTER So, you haven't. But you did talk about that horrible feeling of breaking up with 70 and then that fear of falling up with somebody because then they're probably going to leave you at some point. I love by leaving you all dying. Like, are you over there now? Are you up for falling in love again? No. I don't know. I'm very. I love being with someone, but I think with my last relationship, I literally, after it, I couldn't function. I had to get sleeping pills. Sorry, I've been very honest, but, you know, I've shown everyone this experience that, yeah, I couldn't sleep. I like, just not having someone to be like, "You alright?" You alright? Yeah. This relationship isn't very good, but at least it's a relationship. You know, just that. Just that. That's not fair. We had a lovely relationship, but I couldn't function, and I was so. I used to be so good at being alone now. Like, I never had the girl who had a boyfriend growing up. Like, I was always like, "The mate! Hi!" I was like, "I'm back!" I never had boyfriend. All my friends were like getting the boys last time. "Hey, guys, what's up? What are we doing?" LAUGHTER So, and then as you get older, you just become like happy with being my killb. LAUGHTER You put the office on and watch that! That's a good thing to do that. That's a good thing to get. So, I was like, very good at just being happy with my own. Like, watching TV and loving that. And then I started, then I got more confident, whatever grew into myself a bit, and started having like serious relationships. And then, yeah, I just feel like I went for quite strong, long period of time and sort of a thing, a thing, a toxic thing, a bit more toxic thing. A terrible thing. Something nice, terrible again. And yeah, so, I'm very keen to just try and be happy being by myself again, because it's. I think it might be one of the worst things in the world, like, thinking about relationships. Like, it makes me feel like a man of women. Me and my friends were like, "Oh, the time, right?" It's like, "Why am I so obsessed with boys? What is wrong with me?" Just like, "You kiss someone, and then six months later, you don't have any mental health." There's a double type of insanity that I have no time for. The session made it much worse. Exactly, exactly. I don't think I'm very amazed for this time. I think it would be much easier if you were like, I was like, "18, a man smiles at you at dance." And you're like, "Rum, I'm very him." You're miserable, 'cause it's fine. I think I just, I don't know how, I don't get excited by it. Like, some friends are like, "Lam it!" "Yes!" And they're not my friends. I don't like them. Thank you so much, everybody for coming. I can't wait to see the new series. You are a big success. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you to the fabulous water-stone family and Rosie for hosting us. Thank you, everyone. Good night. Thank you, everyone, out there for listening. Next week on the podcast, we have the absolutely hilarious Jen Brister, who made me laugh such a lot. Please do join us for the fun. Bye!