Live from the ER: a Spontaneous Colonoscopy, Hot Doctor, & Internet Boundaries

(upbeat music) - Lemonada. (upbeat music) - Welcome to "Inner Childish." Side effects may include laughing too hard and unexpected emotional growth. - Wait, is this just like we're just doing it? We're just doing the thing. - How should we start? (laughing) (upbeat music) - Hi everybody, this is a really impromptu episode. We were on FaceTime five minutes ago and decided we would record. - I have a story to tell Vic. I am currently in the ER. I have been here for 25 hours now and I need this to be told to all of you guys too. This simply has to be shared. - Guys, I'm sorry that I'm like laughing and eating an apple while Aubrey's like on house arrest at the emergency room. It's only because he has me hostage here. - Her energy has been this. Every second I check in with her. So that's why I feel like I freaked out less. But, okay, I'm dying to hear about your colonoscopy. (laughing) - Okay, but I started from content as to why I'm here. - Yeah, I don't think they have any backstory. - No, because anyone on the internet that she's struggling. So, I just refused to post on my story my hospital band and just be like, "Hey guys, send me prayers." You know, like could really use your thoughts right now. Like for what? I can't even stand like giving my mom and poor wood updates. I'm like, it's gonna happen as it happens. Like, I'll let you know when it's over. But like, feeling who they need to update the 300,000 people on my Instagram too. And that's just, it's too much for me. It's like when people post that they got divorced after being a couple's account and they don't tell you why. Like, if you and Wood, you won't. But if you ever broke up, I would be like, you have to tell the people why. That's not fair, you know? - Well, yeah. - And it would be, if I would be break up. - Well, you wouldn't think of any reason. - You won't. - I said you won't, but I'm preemptively just displaying why. - For an example. - Okay, so. - Speaking of, you just called me, oh my God, Spidey Census, start us from the beginning. - Okay, you guys, as I mentioned on episode two, I am having severe tummy problems. And, you know, I've been in touch with my GI team who, you know, I've had medical issues over the years. I'm no stranger to the hospital. But pregnancy has just exasperated this. So yesterday, I literally am going to acupuncture in the morning. I've never done acupuncture in my life. But I'm like, I'm so desperate to not be in this agonizing stomach pain that I've been feeling for literally seven weeks now that I'm like, we're going to Chinese medicine. Like, I need something here to fix me. So I go, pay like so much money to go get acupuncture and she writes me up this whole diet plan. Like, whatever, I feel like I have a plan. And the second I get home, my GI team calls me and they're like, we need you to go to the emergency room immediately. And I'm halfway through a triple label because I've just given up on everything at this point. And I'm like, do I need to go like right this second? Like, I have such a lack of urgency when it comes to these things because I've just been in the trenches so many times and they're like, we need you to go right now. So once I heard that, I'm a little freaked out, you know? But I'm a girl. - That is so scary. Like, that is so scary. It's really scary as a pregnant woman. Like, if it was my own health, like-- - I don't care. (laughing) - Yeah, whatever. - It's the baby. - You know, we'll figure out. Baby, I'm worried about baby. So because it's baby, I'm taking them very seriously. And like, they wouldn't call me out of the blue and just be like, we need you to go to the ER. I'm sitting in the waiting room for like an hour. So I'm like, okay, maybe this isn't like as urgent as they made it out to be. But then the second I'm being seen, it's like this cute med student from the GI team for anyone who doesn't know. GI is gastrointology. So that's like your stomach and your bowels. And she's asking me what I've been going through and I'm hysterically crying talking to her because, you know, it's just been a lot. It's been so bad. Like, I'm up for three hours every night just riding on my bathroom floor. And, you know, she's so sweet. I'm sure it's like her third week here. And I'm just traumatizing her. Just pregnant woman crying at her. So she's taking my notes. This other nurse comes over. She grabs me. She's like, we need to take your blood right now. So she's, you know, putting this like stint in my arm. And then the wheelchair shows up because they need to take me up to get my ultrasound immediately. Like it's all happening like super fast. So I'm not even processing. I don't even have time to give anyone updates, whatever. This is the opposite of the pit. And like, you're the main character. (laughs) Let's mind you, I'm in San Francisco. So like, there's people coming off here. I'm just happy to, you know, be here. You know, happy to have any attention. So they take me up for the ultrasound. By the way, nurses and doctors, you guys are so goddamn cool. Like they have to deal with this all day and like have a good attitude. Like everyone was so nice. No one minimized my problems. And they got me in super quick. I think being pregnant helps you up the list. But I'm getting my ultrasound baby is fine. So I'm like, okay, cool. Then I'm being wheelchairned down to this other room. They have a bed for me. Someone's telling me like, okay, we're gonna need you to get undressed because we're doing like a partial colonoscopy right now. I'm like, oh, oh, someone mentioned this was a hop. I didn't know this was happening right this second. Like that's kind of crazy. And Victoria, do you know what a colonoscopy is? - I was just gonna ask about this. What I know of a colonoscopy is they put a little camera up your butthole and they look around. Kind of like a scuba dive. - Totally. Let's take that one step further. Most people for colonoscopies go to sleep. They've got anesthesia. They don't remember a thing. I am pregnant. They can't give me anesthesia. - No. - I'm about to be wide gonna wake while they literally snake a camera up my intestines. It's not just like, oh, little pop in the butt hole. Look around. - Can they numb you? - No, oh no. - No? - No, no, no, no. We're doing this, we're doing this real time raw. Yeah. - No. - Nothing, no, no. So I knew I've never had one before. I'm not, you're off for you, man. So shy. Like no way you were in a room with a ton of people. While someone's putting a camera up your asshole. - Oh, oh, oh, just wait, just wait. So it's all happening so fast. This nurse, she gives me a robe. She's like, obviously opening is in the back because we need access. And I'm like, okay, I'm mortified. Get out. I'll change, so I'm laying there with my butt out just in this robe. And this guy comes over. He looks my age. He looks like too jacked for his shirt. He just looks like someone, maybe one of us would have gone on a hinge date with a few years back. You know, like he's my peer. He was in our graduating high school class. I was like, are you sure we haven't gone out drinking together? Like, I feel like you're a friend of a friend. He starts talking to me. He's like, yeah, so I'm gonna roll you over. We're gonna put the camera up your rectum, whatever. I'm like sitting there realizing this man who can't be more than 28 years old. He is my peer. Is going to be the one. - He's my peer. - Aubrey, I'm minus slept with him. I can't remember. - No, I'm like, I'm like someone went on a date with him. Like, I know this guy. I have to know this guy. - We have to, so he is like eventually attractive. - Like, yes, he's too good looking. I'm like, where's the old woman that I was promised in this situation? You know what I mean? He's the last person. - Maternal, yeah. - Yes, like last person, I would want to give you a call. - You know 100% that this was probably his first and his supervisor was like, hey, we got your first colonoscopy today, room 12. - Wait, so as he's talking to me, I'm like, my face, like I just start like laughing because I'm like, there's no way that this is my doctor. And I think he realizes why I'm laughing. So he kind of starts laughing. So we're both, as he's like talking to me about like, you know, he's a little bit of lube and then I'm like, this can't be real. After I process that he's my doctor and he's like, it's just gonna be you, me and this nurse in the room and like whatever. And I'm like, this is too much. I can't look in the eye afterwards. I'm just looking down. I'm probably a bright red, like he mentions the lube and you're like, are we about to have it or course? - Well, you know, I was just like, this is too much for me. I was like, where's my husband? I miss Wood. Can he come? Like I just feel like this isn't what I pictured. Not that I had time to picture anything but this is the last thing I wanted. So we go in and this nurse, he's this fabulous gay guy. He could not have made me feel more comfortable. I was like, at least he's here, at least he's here. I have to disassociate from the fact that, you know, Sarah's hinged date from last night is here giving me a colonoscopy. So he's holding my hand and he's like, my queen, what song do you want to listen to when we're doing this? And I'm like, put on Pink Pony Club. Let's do the fucking thing. - No, you did not do Pink Pony Club. - I'm literally staring at my butthole on this 75 inch plasma screen TV rolled on my left side holding this guy's hand, playing Pink Pony Club. Well, this, well, this 28 year old dude who could have been in a frat, like shoves a camera of my ass for 10 minutes. - No. - For 10 minutes the camera is being snaked up. I just, it was not the word snaked. I can't with that. - It's like a drain. It's like a drain. And let me tell you, it's not comfortable. I see why people see it. to date for this. - Did what? - No, this was happening. Could you give him an update? - I gave him an update. Like, hey, by the way, this is happening. By the way, the guy, our age, like, what's going on here? He was like, "Ah, no, I'm f---ing nine." - But you know what else he is? - He's realizing, like, we're old. Like, I'm like, "No, you can't be doing this. We're both 20." And it's like, "No, he's f---ing 30." And so are we. - I was like, "Wait, we're kids. Why are we here? What's going on?" - I can't imagine he graduated med school yet. - There's no way. - I must know what iconic gay nurse's reaction was to the Chapel Rowan choice. - I mean, he was very professional about my also very professional choice of being pony club, being played during my colonoscopy. And I literally said as it was happening, 'cause, you know, I'm just trying to lighten the mood. I just want everyone comfortable around me. I was like, "You guys, I have a podcast. Like, I'm gonna talk about this on there." No one said a thing. - No! - You guys, you guys need to lighten up, okay? - God. - I'm the one who is supposed to feel weird here. You guys are making this weirdly professional. - Oh my gosh, that is, that's mortifying. - I'm still kind of stuck on you saying this isn't how I pictured it. And it's like, we all imagine our dream colonoscopy. You know, we-- - Yeah, we've all thought about it at least once. You know, you picture it. - This wasn't it, you know? - Wait, wait, I forgot the worst part. You think they dim the lights, take you to dinner for something, the lights could not have been more fluorescent for this experience. It was, it was traumatized. I would say big T trauma if we're being honest. - Big T. - Honestly, you're gonna need another mushroom journey to cope with this. - I know, I know, this is what's gonna come up. This is gonna come up. Wood was joking, 'cause Wood came afterwards. He had to stay with the dog. So he hasn't like been here a lot. He comes afterwards. And I was like, "Oh my God, I'm so glad you're here." He's like, "Oh, I just came to beat up the guy "who gave you a colonoscopy." The grocery. He was like, "Carol from Love Island "was giving you a colonoscopy." I'm like, "No, that was literally what it was." - Oh my God. - It was literally him. - No, I can't. - Anyway, a track. - And Wood was like, he was like, "Okay, so you could ping pong a club?" Like my dream date, cute. - Okay. (laughing) - That anyways. - He's insane. - And I'm so glad that you, Aubrey kept not wanting to tell me on FaceTime. And so then finally on today is like third hospital FaceTime. I was like, should we just rip this right now? Like, I'm not doing anything. I've been here for so long with no answers. - Can we talk about how you're like seriously using this mic? What is that? - This is ultrasound gel. (laughing) I feel like I need to do something with my hands. - I can't believe you're like so chill about this. I mean, it goes to show like, I guess, yeah, your personality, your experiences, but like you're on like bed rest at an ER. Like that's scary. I know my mom keeps being like, you need to relax. Like, this is a sign for you to relax. I was like, I don't know what that is nor do I want to try it. Like, I can't. I have things to do. - You're like, so instead I'm gonna work from the bed. I was like, wait, we can totally do a podcast right now. - I said to Aubrey too, I'm like, does she has an Italy trip coming up in like a few weeks? I'm like, does this make you like not want to leave the country? I'm going to Italy. - Excuse me. - No, I'm sure there's Italy hospitals if I need them. - Well, honestly, I'm glad that this is how you're feeling because on the other hand, it's like you could be really stressed causing your body lots of stressful, hormones, spike, cortisol, anxiety for them to say it's okay anyways, you know? - Totally. I feel like, you know, medical procedures are enough stress on your body anyways. So it's like, what are you gonna do? I get the most stressed I've been is about leaving. I would like to get out of here and go home to my eighth sleep instead of this hospital bed. - I keep tracking you and I see you're still there and I'm like, this poor girl, wait. And so you just don't have an answer. You're waiting for the results from that colonoscopy. - They think they know what it is. They think I have IBD, which is a super sexy disease that stands for irritable bowel disease. So that's hot. - Oh my god. - What are we gonna do? - You know? - You are actually so insane right now. I feel like if a role's were reversed, you'd be saying the same to me like it's not you saying, I have this little disease thing called IBD. - Wait, is that the same as I get these? - No, this is worse. This is far worse, you know, that's okay. I'm all medicine. I feel free, dude, I'm happy to have answers. This is the best news ever. The alternative is I could just be suffering. What is crazy to think about is how like a couple days ago, we were texting and we're just like, I guess these are just your symptoms. - I know, and then everyone I've talked to is like, wait, this is not pregnancy related or like it's pregnancy induced, but it's not pregnancy. That's also why I don't want to post to my story anything because I don't want to scare any of these first trimester moms to be like your second trimester's way worse when this is like clearly just a me thing, you know what I mean? - Right, well also you'll just get like, you just get so many opinions, so much feedback. - I know, it's too much to update and I'm feeling good about it. So you know, I've met some really nice people. - How's your week been? - I've been feeling good. I feel like compared to you. I do feel like I have mild symptoms, but I don't even want to call them symptoms, but I think about like what you've been experiencing. - Are you tired? - I didn't see, like I didn't need to eat this apple. This was snack time. The pod was requested. I had to kind of put snack time on hold, but I simply am not able to just like not eat when I must eat while pregnant, you know? - Dude being pregnant is crazy. 'Cause I think there's you who's like been a little sleepy and then needs to eat a little bit more. And then there's me who's in the hospital. Like why are people's bodies so different? And why is mine like this? - Today's also one of those days where I feel like so tired. Like I just can't, like bring myself to do more than the bare minimum. So I have like two things to film for these brands and I am doing them, I keep like moving it back. But it's a day where I need to be like horizontal and like doing stuff on the computer and like editing content. But like me getting cute and filming a video, that feels really nice. - No, yeah, oh that's why I was so upset yesterday that I was like do I need to come in right now 'cause I had put on makeup which doesn't happen often and my hair was done. - Oh my God. - And they were like we need you to come in. I was like well now my day's ruined. - You know that's so weird. - You don't know what I went through for five minutes to put on mascara. - That is so rude. Like what are the chances? - Something else though. Going off of in the beginning of this episode how you were like I am not posting this on the internet because I only feel feel bad, whatever. That's been something I've been thinking about just now that like my pregnancy is live to the world which is so crazy is like how much I want to share and whatnot like I don't know I get. I feel like this is this weird time where I've always had to consider like me my life max and then the internet which is like really weird and now especially with something like so personal and so intimate like I don't know it. It scares me in a way and I don't like love it. I feel like you have a fear of like I feel like you always presume the internet's gonna presume the worst. - I know. - It's really being magnified now and I don't like it. It's like I allow other people's opinions so much space and it's like yes I envy. I feel like you don't have that. - I feel like because I have less of a filter like I don't know I know this is this sound so silly but like literally just having Hank I could post a picture of just him on a leash and I will get 300 messages telling me why it's the wrong leash, why it's the greatest leash ever. Why I should switch to harness and not a collar. Oh my gosh you shouldn't have his feet seized on the pavement. It's too hot and like you don't even know where I live. Like how do you know the pavement's too hot? And it's like I've gotten so used to the comments and like how many different opinions people have that like you can't please everyone and it's gonna be I think exasperated with parenting children, pregnancy, all of that. You get so many comments like I have a sushi dinner next week. I'm eating sushi during my pregnancy and I'm gonna stand fucking tentos down on that. But like I'm anticipating all the messages of just like you're putting your baby in danger and like do some research Gerald. Why are you living here, you know? - Right I know I know and it does make you think about like the child's safety and like kids online which I know will do like a whole episode about it a little bit once we really have our well thought out opinions on I guess how we're gonna approach that. This is a time in my life where I feel like it's not just continuing to document my life but now it's like something else, someone else big is happening. It's my child and like I need to intentionally set up some like new rules or parameters for like what I'm comfortable with. - Yeah. - It's weird. And then there's like Victoria, the content strategist and then there's Victoria, the person and like expecting mom and it's like those two things I think compete with each other a lot like, you know? - I feel like you probably felt it too. I can imagine it being hard to be a mom and like not want to show your kid and then also feeling like you have stuff to share on the internet because like I felt like when I was pregnant and I couldn't tell anyone yet or post anything yet [BLANK_AUDIO] I don't know what to say because this is my whole life right now, and I can't share it, which means it's so hard to hold these other minuscule things out of my life. I feel like I just posted Hank for two months because I had nothing else to say about me. I feel like that's been super nice is being back up to speed with stuff. It's a whole new thing to navigate. I'm already in my head. Well, the last episode was my pregnancy announcement, and then this episode is about this. I want to make sure it's not always just pregnancy or always just baby. I want to keep. Not only for me as a person, I want to feel like I have other aspects of my identity. I keep watering, and I don't want to completely isolate anyone who supports or follows me. That's not in the stage of life. We're not interested. So it's just weird. But then I have weeks where I'm like, no, this is my entire life and either get with the program or unsubscribe. I don't care. And then I have other weeks where I'm feeling totally different. And I'm like, no, I want to go a whole week without addressing that I'm pregnant. I don't know. Totally. No, it makes so much sense. I also feel like with your body positivity content, your body changing during pregnancy is such a real thing that I feel like I could talk about that and make content about that every day. And that's not even what I do. So I could see that being so hard to not make that everything, at least for me. I don't know. I do want to talk about that. It's a whole new chapter. I mean, this is where I really have to be like, if my career is going to make stay this and it's going to be lifestyle content, I need to figure out how to let my life guide the content, not my content guide the life I live. Yeah. I'm working with this interior designer who I love. And she sent me a message the other day. And it was like a post about how interior design has become like, at least in their space, like people know. And I'm going to post this living room on the internet. So do people think this is the best room? Is this the most like type of aesthetic? Like it's not like you're just making your living room. And only the people you have over for a dinner party will ever see it. I am just so aware of like people's opinions. It's crazy. I mean, I posted that I was going to change my chandelier and my verbiage was I can't wait to get rid of this chandelier. Oh yeah. And someone was like, having a chandelier is a privilege. Agreed. And said it's like, and I quote, please volunteer, help the homeless and gain some perspective. And I'm like sitting there like profit. It was just such a mean. It was just mean. I'm like, I do volunteer. I founded a charity. I've never made a dollar off of it. I give hours, thousands of hours to it every week. I'm like, yeah, it's crazy. And then I'm like, yeah, I had time. So I responded. I was like, in your message hurt my feelings. And I deserve the right to respond to you. Anyways, in hindsight, I think I could have wrote excited to update my chandelier. Not like, can't wait to get rid of this. Whatever. But then that's like I get in my head. And I'm like, so anyways, my whole point being like, this is a new era. And I just don't want to let my ingrained part of my brain not always considers the internet to like cloud it in any way, you know? I think outside of the internet too, like pregnancy and weddings, I feel like those are kind of the two big ones that just invite outside opinions that you don't ask for from friends, family, like literally co-workers, random people on the street, like big life events, especially if people, no, I mean, if people have gone through it or have not gone through it, like are so quick to just fire off advice things you should do shouldn't do, whatever. And like, it almost like doesn't even leave space for you to decide what's right. And like, I have a name that I like and would have what keeps me like, stop telling people. And I have such like a no filter, like, I have to tell everyone everything. And he's like, you're going to ruin it for yourself because someone's going to say, oh, I don't like that. Or like, that's hard to have a nickname for, or like, oh, I knew a girl with that name. I would never name my kid that. And then boom, it's ruined. Yeah. Just because, you know, I told someone on the street. I feel like that happened with the name that you originally liked the most. Your mom didn't like it. And so you like, oh, totally, how am I supposed to name my daughter, my fourth generation oldest daughter, something that my mom doesn't like. Knowing that every time I came out of her mouth, she'd be like, wasn't my favorite. Oh my gosh. Max and I are wise enough to know we're not telling anyone our name. And by anyone, I mean, me, Max, you and Woodby Proxy. No, I haven't even told Woodby Proxy. No, I'm sworn to secrecy. This is between the three of us. I haven't even told, well, I guess I told you like some names I like, but I don't feel like I have like the name yet. I don't think you have the name yet either, but just no. And to my mom, who's listening is like, why can't I know? It's because I know your face and your body language. And I will be able to tell without you saying a thing if you like it or not. And I can't handle that. Another thing I think about too, and I'd actually be curious for people listening to like, please shoot me a message on this. But sometimes with like a life on the internet, I think about what would the experience be like if when someone googled you like nothing came up. And there were no pictures and no bio and like no one knew anything about you really. Do you feel exempt from the opinions of others and that pressure like my brain likes to fantasize that like it would be gone. But then when I really think about it, it's like no, that person shows up to wherever they work or to their friend group or to their family and they're getting it in that sense. So are we ever like is it's just internal work you have to do. It's not something that like is environmental. I was going to say I think the most anxiety I've ever had about external opinions and what people thought about me was when I was working corporate. Like that was the biggest anxiety for me of like what my co-workers thought of me. If I was doing a good enough job, if they thought I was a good hire, like if they liked me just as a person that they think I was funny. Like because you're with those people that like I feel like both of us are such warm and fuzzies. At least like I think it's especially me you're good at setting like professional boundaries. But like I need to be on a friend a friend basis of someone like in order to feel like normal. So like co-workers just never like that type of relationship just never sat right with me because I was always like what is this wall we have between us. John, like wait let's let's get to know each other you know. And I can never tell if I thought I'm three times your age and I'm scared to have any conversation with you not pertaining to the deliverable. Literally I'm 23 and I'm like it's so weird that he doesn't want to come meet my friends. Like I'm just trying to get to know you. So I feel like that was hard for me and I feel like the internet's even like a better safer play. I know that sounds so insane. Like even though it's more honest and people are so comfortable sharing their opinions like at least I know what they're thinking. Whereas like corporate it's so professional it's so buttoned up you can't like talk badly you can't say too many good things like you know what I mean like I like it all out in the open. Yeah. You know what this makes me think I need to do and I've always thought I need to set up some sort of system like this and I wonder when I'll just do the thing. It's like literally everyone's looking for you know the way to be more motivated the way to be more optimistic everyone's looking for it's like it's not that hard it's like you have to be disciplined you have to set up the ABC steps and like stick to them and over time like see the progress and part of me is like should I have some guiding prompts in the morning better like like what would today look like if I only considered the experience of myself and the people I love who are directly in my life or like what would today look like if I showed up as the best version of myself like I think about it there's like three to five prompts I could answer each day with like a reminding thing about like forgiveness kindness I just think it's so important because sometimes you'll see a quote or you'll have a conversation and you'll remember this feeling or this way you want to be or this way you want to carry yourself but then when you just kind of wake up and you hit your alarm and then you get up and you start doing your emails and you whatever like you don't have that intentionality you know and I think that would be really good for me I just have to do it. I feel like I move through my day with no intention I like move for my day to get things done like and what says a half-ass everything like it would says my the way I go through my days oh that's almost done moving on and she just runs behind me finishing up everything I've started oh my god that's so funny I think that would be good I feel like that's something you could add to book to balance too. I know I was thinking that I mean some days when I do feel really like you know I've motivated I go with the declutter your mind page and that's where I write like journaling things and I'll get in my rhythms like when I was on my van trip and I wrote my like what all my life to look like and I did all that but it's just like it's the daily practice like you know so I need to figure out what my daily practice is going to be especially like now becoming moms I'm like fuck I can't just like kind of slouch and like like I'm like I need to be the best for this child like it's a lot of pressure dude it's a lot of pressure but then I think about like kids don't remember if everything was perfect though I was thinking about this the other day because I was also thinking of being a mom. And I was like, you know what I do? Remember as a kid? I remember going over to the courier's house and I was always so jealous because it was so pristine. Like from a young age, I loved a beautiful space. And I loved being at your house because it was so clean, the fridge was so organized. And I was like, I would love to be that mom. But I don't know how. - Well, Laney is. - You know who needs a fucking course is Laney, type A. I mean, she, it's insane. Like she's so clean and cleanly. Like it's crazy. She said that she used to be that way when she was a kid though. Like she would vacuum her carpet every day so that the whole shag rug was like up and she would like dust her dolls. Like she was that way. - She has influenced me though to be. - I think a lot cleaner. I mean, what do you think about me? - 'Cause be honest, you live with me in college. - I see you're a lot cleaner. - I think you're also a minimalist. - I feel like I have been someone who lives in clutter likes to collect things, you know, and I eventually realize, especially for my mental health, I feel better when there's less things to manage. Like, yes. - And it's true, like if we have three or four mugs and then we wash them and we use them, I don't need 20. Like, that's how I'm trying to live. - And Mug's are one of those things they just show up. I'm like, how do I have this mug from high school? Like where did this come from? - They're just appeared. - They're collectors items. - And it is hard to like get rid of the one with the face of, you know, us from prom or whatever, but I'm like, I have it, I have it, why do I have it? - I think I decluttered that. Dude, good for you, see? - And now for today's star six seven. - Hi, I'm listening to episode two where Aubrey is talking about her accident in the bathroom and I just felt compelled to share Aubrey that you're not alone. It happens to the best of us. Mine was horrifying and traumatic. I got food poisoning on my last evening in Greece on vacation with my boyfriend. And we had to travel both of us with food poisoning. And if you've heard anything about the Athens airport recently, it's been like madness and it can take hours to get through security and baggage claim. And we were like fighting for our lives literally. And it took us like an hour and a half to check our bags and we went to the bathroom and it was like, okay, we gotta go to security. And it took like two hours to get through security and I shipped my pants insecurity and there was literally nothing I could do. I'd already been in line for over an hour. And if I left the line and got back in it, we were gonna miss our flights and it was horrifying. And I'm just like in that turn style and I just couldn't acknowledge it. I just, yeah, I've never told a soul, but I also related to like, I'm never telling anyone, but then as soon as I got off the plane, I told my boss when it's gonna be at least, so I wasn't pregnant, but it happens to the best of us. And I just wanted to let you know you're not alive. - You were such a real one and I find that so beautiful that you and your boyfriend were going through that together. There's something so bonding about shitting your pants with you and your other pants. - Thank God they were going through it together because then like his butthole is also on fire and he knows like what you're feeling and you don't feel embarrassed. - What's so wonderful is you'll forever have that story to share, that is so good. I'm so sorry that. - Did you feel like walking through the metal detector, it was gonna like come out like your leg because if you walk through that machine any type of weird way, they look at you like why are you walking weird? - Which goes on through it. - Write your life, put your hands up. Oh my God, what kind of pants were you wearing? I have so many questions. Was it just, was it a little bit, was it? Oh my God. - Oh my God. - Oh, you're safe. - It feels like I'm chair experts. (laughing) I see you, I feel you. I will not be going to happen that any time soon. - But you know what, love this community. Thanks for calling in to say you shit your pants. So Aubrey feels less alone and that's what girls do. - It's growing up. - Hi Bacon Obs, I was just wondering how do you deal with you being ready for having a baby? But your husband's still wanting to wait a couple of years. I've been ready for a while now and it's what I think about all day, every single day and trying to be very patient, my husband still wants to wait a little bit. How do you bring yourself to accept that it's okay to wait and to try to get out of your mind all day every day? - Thank you. - The first thing I think about when hearing this is actually my cousin because she had this situation where she was really ready and her husband wasn't. Now they have three beautiful kids and they're both like amazing dedicated parents and she says she's so grateful. She waited a little bit for him to be ready because now he's such a active present father and I do think if someone's really not ready, it's a huge thing to like ask them to do before they're ready but I totally want to respect your timeline, your biological clock, like all those things. So like can you have a conversation? That's just okay, I understand you're not ready now and do you think this is something you might be ready for and we can like strongly revisit in nine months, 10 months next year, five months. Like you need some date to kind of hold on to and for them to know that they've got their like six months to really like know that this isn't happening yet and then they're gonna have nine months of a pregnancy and like from experience, the guy, nothing changes in their life the first four to five months if you are pregnancy. So he's also going to get pregnant too. I'm putting a disclaimer, depending on your pregnancy. (laughing) Poor wood, his world turned upside down. I will say, I like, I feel for you that it's hard to not be on the same page as your partner and I think for me, I would have to remember that like their wishes are just as important as my wishes. Like remembering that yes, this is something that's going to happen inside your body but he needs to be fully there with you when making that decision. Yeah, and then the toxic part of me is like, "Why don't you just trick him, you know?" (laughing) He doesn't know what's good for him. Oh, it's dangerous. No, men I think can psych themselves out about it a lot. Like fatherhood and I'm not gonna have fun and my life changes. It's like, no, you're gonna have such high highs. You're probably gonna love it. Like, you know, it's easy to psych yourself out with all the stuff on the internet. I relate though. I mean, I was ready to try last August and I am basically four months pregnant in this August and so we waited. But I think the conversations were helpful. The one thing I'd sound like you guys are sure on this but definitely be 100% that he wants kids. It's just not now. Well said, if we're moving onto something beautiful and you're watching this on YouTube or on Spotify, you can see that I'm no longer in a hospital gown and that is my something beautiful. I'm so happy your report. I have medicine. I have not shit my pants anymore. I feel amazing. So I'm in the good part of pregnancy now, guys. - Am I something beautiful so that you finally had a pregnancy smoothie? - I'm so happy. I love my blender now. Thank you so much for this mission. - It was like, vile ill and her stomach couldn't take anything. I kept saying, have you tried a smoothie? - She asked me four different times. I was like, "Hey, Vic, shut the fuck up." I got a fucking smoothie back now. I thought it was easy on the stomach. - It's not. There's a lot of fiber in fruit. - No. - Since healing and since leaving the ER, she has had a smoothie and she loves it so much, she posted a smoothie recipe on Instagram. - That's really good. It's something beautiful. So who's the smoothie lover now? Okay, we love you love. We'll see you next time. - Bye. - Thanks for listening to this episode of Inner Childish. Don't forget to subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen so you never miss an episode. - Oh, and follow us on Instagram at Inner Childish Pod so you always get the behind the scenes. - We're so, so grateful for you. - See you next time.