Listener Stories: Vol. 116

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Today's episode is sponsored by the ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Program. As a frequent goer of the dog park, I have seen some scary things happen to the dog park. Luckily, not to my dog. Although, very recently, we had our first scare. He ended up stepping on a bee and got stung. But I was absolutely panicked as a first-time dog parent who has absolutely infantilized my little puppy dog. In a moment like that, you really are thankful that you have your pet insurance. The ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Program offers customizable accident and illness plans that can fit your budget, your lifestyle, and even your pet's particular quirks. Like if he enjoys stepping on bees and horrifying their parents. Because, let's be honest, vet bills can add up fast. All we ever do at the dog park is talk about how expensive our dogs are. This will help you in the long run. ASPCA Pet Health Insurance has been around for almost 30 years and has covered over a million pets. 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For more information, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/drink. birthday gift by the way happy birthday every year that's your birthday gift i i think it's your birthday gift that i don't get to call it that i don't call you a cryptkeeper well you know i've uh had to take the the like glass half full look from day one about all this so you know what if i said like cryptkeeper complimentary instead of like oh okay you're right it is my wait oh yeah you're it's you're right it's your birthday punishment that's right it's your birthday punishment i'm understanding now yeah right right right right right it's a very um at this point it's just tradition i don't even know if i enjoy it it's just it's what you do in this house it's just how it works i uh how how does it feel to be coming up on 35 35 can you believe that isn't that crazy we started the podcast at 25 wait so are we going to be the same so you are a year younger than me yeah sorry why do i act like i don't know this every fucking year like you literally call me 34 for a day while you're still 34 okay we'll both be 34 that i turn 35 okay wow i don't know how time or math works um no so i do on a quantum level so if that helps but you know someone has to someone has to and it's sort of like everyone else seems to have this timeline figured out this time the rudimentary is not your privy you don't thank you so much like uh it's i'm above that pay grade if that makes sense does that make sense my pay grade is above that work you know um you couldn't have been more clear thank you so much um yeah it's gemini season can you tell we are elevated uh by the way m today or actually tomorrow as we record this um there's going to be a kazimi which is a special time in in astrology where the planets kind of align and kiss smooch well it's sun and gemini uranus and gemini it's a beautiful thing it's gonna fucking fire us up so look out everybody yeah we're gonna be in high flying spirits um it's the words the banter the the communication this is not an astrology podcast but sometimes it's my birthday and i get to make it yeah everyone shut up it's our birthday you can do whatever you want i can you say shut up and uh anyway so it's an exciting time m um it's gonna light up a lot of our creativity and uh social butterfly centers you know i love a butterfly center except the real ones i don't want to be anywhere near a real butterfly oh my god i've got five five chrysalis downstairs why because you have a child yep you'll figure it out so there's only one reason although i did make it my entire personality for like two days i was like filming them not my entire personality but my entire fixation i was like filming the chrysalis and then i had to record the my podcast with my brother so i just take the camera back upstairs on my way up it escaped oh the chrysalis escaped on the way up the camera fell and now i have to spend 400 to repair so uh yeah it was not oh and then i came downstairs and blaze said guess what one of the caterpillars turned into a chrysalis didn't even catch it on camera did you that's crazy that's crazy well it was three days three days i spent with that fucking thing i'm gonna tell them you called them that fucking thing you know what i'll send them after you and so you better fucking watch do not oh my god nothing horrifies me more than a butterfly i used to be so scared of them now i'm just like kind of fascinated because they turn into goo in those little chrysalises i mean it's incredible nature is rock and roll it's fucking rock and roll okay it's nature's metal for sure twisted it's metal it's fucking sick as shit turn it to goo and then i'm just this beautiful color demolish my organs and then scare the shit out of you with all my beauty you know punk for sure i mean i rock indeed i uh am happy for you i it begs the question because of who we are you've named them i'm sure i haven't i know wow you know that's your assignment for today here's my problem they're a little too alive i think for me to get too attached say that again what do you mean they're a little too maybe alive so they have to be inanimate objects i got it okay it's safer that way when i right because if they get hurt you don't want to get attached uh if one of them eats the other one i don't know what they do in there what they get up to well that one's named like hannibal lecter yeah right so what if i call him christine and all of a sudden i have an existential crisis you know what i'm trying to say by the way leona has everything in this house eight times so like me naming something at this point is so absurd because whatever i name it will not even be allowed or last because i don't rule this house anymore do you have a favorite favorite name that she's picked out for something uh yeah so she calls herself pretty you know what and she and she stood by that by the way she has always said that she literally calls herself pretty and she's the mom you know what now that's rock and roll that's fucking badass and then i'm and by the way she doesn't give a shit about this chrysalis like i mean she's like interested but she's like my mom's so fucking weird about this she's clearly like to be sure like you're like you're tattooing everything and like how like they can be well yeah oh it's a moth it is a moth but i you know i was like oh a cocoon and a chrysalis that's about as far much she's like i already learned that at school and i was like oh okay you know more about this than i do pick up the pace she's like actually i could teach you um i don't know if i can teach you um i don't know if i can teach you and she's like my name is miss pretty uh and i think my name was like it changes every time hideoso the terrible count vomitus my my name i forgot wait blaze's name and it was so tragic because it was mother's day so he had to go along with it but she was the mom and her name was pretty uh my name was sparkles and his name was honker and she wrote him a card that said mommy loves you honker and left it and i didn't know what was happening she just kept saying how do you spell mommy and i was like oh like cooking dinner like oh she's making me a card she's like how do you spell loves and i'm like oh you know and then she wrote she's like how do you spell honker i certainly hope you call blaze honker in your personal life now it just was like and then blaze was just like so stoic and was like i don't know what to tell you at least you both know it will change maybe five minutes later so yeah well you know that's so great it's the only one that's really stuck which is my favorite it just makes me so happy um yeah so anyway it's uh i think yesterday i said she said what's your name and i said i'll be corinne and she said i'll never remember that and i said but i'm your daughter and she goes um i'll call you chloe and i went what the fuck like i don't even get to name myself when we play she was like i threw you a bone to play along and you didn't match my energy you really didn't i'm gonna rescind that you gotta read the room and now i'm the boss again because i'm pretty remember uh and i rule she actually says i actually am the boss of um she calls it the tri-state area i forget what she calls it uh newport and and hamilton county i don't know she has a very specific way of sustaining pretty of the tri-state county the tri-state area yeah look out miss miss usa or whatever you're called um do you know what miss pretty is doing for your b-day you have any idea what's coming up next week you know not even a not even a one okay do you know what honker's doing so he better do something special because mommy loves him um oh god i hate my life terrible it's terrible well actually one of my oldest friends is getting married the weekend of our birthdays uh yours are my birthdays uh she's getting married on six six two six and it's very intentional she's a scorpio it's her whole thing of course i'm so excited it'll be really fun leona's a flower girl so we're doing that uh we're doing that uh we're doing that um that weekend and then i will probably just like i don't know like last year we went to the appalachian festival and i got really high and watched um watched like a flute player a native american flute player oh we remember it's like it was yesterday um i think about it almost weekly so if that occurs again at good old coney island i might head over there um but we'll see very nice what are you up to this oh that was mother's day never mind that wasn't my birthday they're always around the same time whatever what what are you up to this weekend or this week your birthday um i don't know what's happening on the day of and apparently neither does allison yikes um is that good or bad i wonder because if she were like i have very specific plans i'd also be a little afraid no i'm i'm not worried at all she'll she has it handled although um we've recently as as many know with with minimal detail that there's been a ban for quite some time on um anyone planning trips except me and the ban has been lifted and allison has gotten real uh excited about she's flying a little close to the sun is that what you're saying what's that is she flying a little close to the sun with her newfound power she she i don't want not in a negative way but in a i'm cautious way yes she's um because we a few times back at the beginning of the relationship we did a lot of outdoor things that she planned and they didn't go well they were not they ended up not being safe they were more like near-death experiences they weren't they i i say with love and she meant very well however we certainly it was the closest to like having to come to terms with the end of my life um not hyperbole um it was not i can assure you it's not everyone and so i was like also i think for the rest of the relationship the planning is on me you tell me where you want to go we're gonna have a good time we'll work together we'll work together um but i did hear she forgot pillows now this time around um we recently just went camping and she planned that she also she she pretty much nailed it except she forgot pillows um that was the worst one for sure because that's a big one on the ground um without a pillow and i i'm you're you know i was gonna say uh i already blinked what was i talking about pillows sorry i haven't had my drinks yet i i i went with you so i'm just hold my hand and bring me back i go with you that's the problem people look at me where was i i was like i don't know i went with you what the hell do you want me to do i didn't tether myself to anything in reality well what i was gonna i i was gonna say uh i sleep with like three to four pillows every single night in a very specific position you have to have like the yeah and the fact that there was none i mean i thought i was in a coffin it was you were i think sort of technically i was on the coffin um but if you died you would have just slowly made your own coffin just kept kept it moving uh no i i had a we had a very good time it was very um it was like in the middle of the week so that way it wouldn't be too crowded and the weather was really nice and we'd sit up and had a fire it was very sweet so she nailed that and i was like okay that's lovely and all i know i don't know what's happening on the day of my birthday but i know for my birthday another trip is coming up that she's also planning some trip i know i i don't i don't maybe it'll be like a cozy cabin or something maybe she's got to stop it with these with these outdoor things because i still have a lot of trauma from the past i'm like why don't you just take me to a nice museum you know what i mean well she's looking for some wood to make her beautiful jewelry you know she's out there working i thought the same thing yeah it's like she's just it's like when you use the business card i'm like uh-huh expense it and it's like yeah to what she's like no no no this is this is romance m as i as i steal all the scrap wood from the fire goes in the back pocket no i'm i'm you said it because i thought and i went that it's a sneaky little creative lady by the way i know we talked about my heart glasses in the zenny ad which like not even an ad because well it wasn't an ad this is not an ad because i just love them but um my heart glasses but i also wore yesterday my heart glasses and the necklace allison made me my like triangle necklace and my therapist was like oh my gosh i just love all of this together it's such a good energy and i was like well that that's very sweet of you no she's can you tell the name the website yeah so all very proud of allison over here she has um broken free from the corporate chains i am so and um she is now making her own jewelry we've already talked about before on the show but just another shout out uh it's called forger's craft and you can find it on etsy all of her stuff is like ethically sourced yes on walks with m exactly from a very specific campground i was just sleeping on um yeah yeah yeah underneath m oh my god she should charge extra for those that i yeah that m use this as a pillow i honestly if she carved out a pillow with wood i would have been like at least oh that's nice yeah oh but no it's uh everyone please go check out forger's craft support local business women own queer owned yeah hell yeah and she posted this reel yesterday that was like proof that you're one youtube video away from doing any job a man can do and i was like and then it was like the woodworking tools and i was like oh my god she's such a badass bitch a while ago she would have been at what she was doing and i was like oh my god she's such a badass bitch what were they calling it a girl boss that girl i almost said that i was like vomit um no our garage has originally the thought was oh that'll be like my studio nope now it's a garage but it's a sorry act fast you could look in there you wouldn't know if uh a queer woman works in there or a big old sweaty man lumberjack yeah it's a wood shop for sure so i'm very proud amazing oh um but yeah that's all i got going on for my birthday i know this is a long intro but i will also say out of selfishness there's another birthday to celebrate tomorrow hankies somewhat today's my baby son's last day of being one our resident gemini pet our only gemini pet i think in this in between the two of us when you oh toxic i know fuck dude i love it don't worry um i have a boy scorpio so i know you know god what a nightmare they would be um if they met i feel like i don't think they would be together i don't think they would be like enemies to lovers or lovers to enemies and i don't know it's gonna be a fucking tornado is what it is um today i'm planning his puppy bee day that's gonna be at the dog park i mean very big day over here what's the theme if i told you what'd you say is there a theme oh yeah his bark mitzvah we've discussed oh we've discussed this sure um i'll show you some of the stuff that's already come in also everyone at the dog park is so nice everyone like just recycles their old stuff so like this is like someone gave me like a tablecloth oh to like do the birthday oh that's so this is his bandana tomorrow nice jewish boy oh my word yeah of course i remember classic njb and then um of course you can't have a bark mitzvah without a yarmulke and a little talus oh my god oh my god i we're bringing dreidel even though that's mainly like a hanukkah thing you are out of your mind we we have paint your own dreidel oh my god you know what and i'm very happy for him he's technically 13. a man now a little pre-teen boy and uh i also i have pinned the tail on the hankies so we that's good cut out a cut out a big hank uh and then i didn't i thought there was just going to be like a party for like dog park people but allison's like inviting like our friends outside of the dog park to come oh my god one time in new york city i witnessed a dog's birthday party and like the amount of like pomp and circumstance and like people dressed up to the nines who did this event and i was like this is living this is these people are living and i just get to witness it i have uh i my version of that is i'm wearing pants with his face all over it tomorrow and that's living i'll tell you that is living oh my god anyway that so this is my first real birthday with him because he turned one with us last time but we had we didn't know each other yet so now he's getting all his favorite stuff wow it'll be a big day special boy - Yeah, anyway. needed to say it out loud because we woke up this morning and i was like oh it's your last day as a one-year-old i love all this gemini triplet energy we've got now i know it's really it's like oh just another person to like scream celebrate that we just can't stop ourselves it's never enough never could never will never should oh man well thank you for letting me um take a moment to talk about the b-day boy forever and ever this podcast is brought to you by squarespace domains we have used squarespace since we started the podcast almost 10 years ago actually in the schultz fourth manner we now have two family members using squarespace because allison and her jewelry business forger's craft just started using squarespace themselves she was like i really need a website and i said we've never had a problem with squarespace you got to use them with squarespace your domain comes with everything included from the moment that you register you get every feature every tool everything you need to manage everything for your website just in one place from email forwarding to domain renewals you don't have to worry about going elsewhere for any it's all in one spot and now you can not just secure your domain without any extra fees when we were starting our website it like cost all this extra money just to have the rights to the name or to the to the url but squarespace has that handled and your domain includes advanced built-in security and privacy protections with an activity log so you know everything that's going on on your website at all times you never have to wonder when something changed at all and with squarespace you also can unlock a full suite of tools not just the website builder but email campaigns scheduling all that from again just one place it's really wonderful we love squarespace we have been singing their praises for a long time and that's because for the last 10 years they have only gotten better and better and better so please go check them out check out squarespace.com slash drink for a free trial and when you're ready to launch use offer code drink to save 10 off your first purchase of a domain anyway uh shall we get into some stories let's do it i'll go first uh by the way the theme is birthday yes that's right i'm going to go first okay i'm going to go first i'm going to go first that's right of course it is because this isn't the end of us talking about ourselves you thought wrong okay thank you eva by the way for finding all these yes thank you eva um and thank you megan for for putting a call out and whatever whatever happened to get to make this happen i know sometimes we ask for stories and when we do that it is for usually an upcoming episode um on social so you can see that there if we have a theme coming up okay so this is called birthday deja vu it's our first birthday themed story for this month hi em and christine heard you calling for spooky birthday stories so here's the one that happened to me a couple months ago ever since i was little i would get weird dreams months or years in advance of places and situations i've never been to and never been in after waking i would always think weird go about my business and then the dream would happen later in real life my dad gets the same dreams and the rest of my family has learned to just kind of go with it when one of us brings it up about a year and some change ago i had a dream i was in this open air market with green walls with my dad he kept going deep and i was like oh my god i'm going to die i'm going to die i'm going to die i'm going deeper into the market and we ended up getting locked in overnight there were more details but these are the important ones fast forward to this past march and i went on a trip for my birthday to a nerd convention and brought my parents along is that what you and allison are going to do next is that what she's playing you know what any day at this point you're you're nerding out all day every day okay bought my brought my parents along on one of the days we were on this trip we were down in a touristy area going through a bunch of little marketplaces my dad veered my mom and i into this little warren of market fronts where they were getting ready to close we went in a little bit before i stopped because i noticed that the market was the same one from my dream right down to the green walls i mean maybe that's exciting to you but to me i would always be so fucking nervous about well here we go what's coming up but do you remember what happened in the dream her dad kept going further and further in and then they got locked in and then i got locked in okay yeah so she notices that uh that it looks exactly the same including the green shade of green of on the walls i'm immediately like we gotta go my dad's still going deeper into the market i'm making sure i'm an eye shot of the entrance so we don't get locked in and my mom calls for my dad and says she had a dream we gotta go we got out and they locked the market up behind us with the same kind of great i remembered from my dream the only thing missing though was the baseball card shop i had seen i wonder if we would have found it if we had stuck around kind of glad we didn't um i don't remember did we even talk about a baseball card shop i don't think that was even brought up in here i think we forgot that i don't think so in the story but either way um i wonder if that was meant to be like a warning like don't get locked in or i wonder if that was like just a weird thing that you accidentally got a glimpse of and then evaded i wonder if i obviously i wouldn't know this but i i wonder if it had they been locked in it would have been so inconvenient and annoying to get out of there and something in her brain went when this happens please get us out of here this is so annoying so true like future you like please go save me from this yeah true like it could have just been something as like like hopefully they weren't in danger or anything but it was just like your parents overnight in a shopping center forget it yeah exactly the ripple effect would have been like your day is gonna be horrible if you don't get out of this and it's your birthday please save yourself yeah you're gonna miss that thing earlier you know yeah so nerd convention i you know love a nerd convention actually i think rj's taking me to a essentially a nerd convention this weekend for oh fun my b-day so um have you been to one before like what do you go to conventions not really there's one like i remember i went to that psychic convention in town that like yes again we remember that that was fun uh and then we talked about the pamphlet and then i think in a happy hour and then we talked about the pamphlet for the furry convention that your family member went to but i don't usually go to many conventions that was more i feel like a west coast thing maybe i don't know i don't know if they have like tattoo conventions that like a lot of people i know went last weekend and my one of my friends was like i spent my husband and i spent almost two grand on tattoos and i was like whoa so that's a whole thing a tattoo convention feels like a dangerous place to be if you're totally if you're uh hankering for a tattoo i must avoid yeah yeah yeah do you have an idea for a future tattoo i have so much i mean 11 000 yeah what's i mean i still don't have my hot stuff you know so that would be number one i really want my hot stuff guy any other big pressing ones yeah i really want a morning dove and i really want to get my hum hallelujah tattoo oh my gosh i need to get stars next to my little prince tattoo okay i could go on forever well i bet like at a tattoo convention you could break it up so quickly i have like a little rubric and be like okay i need my ginkgo leaf who's gonna do that yeah but eight o'clock can do the stars my nine o'clock can do that i love that that actually sounds i mean it makes sense why maybe next year i'll go yeah okay because you're like because it was like please i shouldn't ever i think it was last weekend so it is like birthday season you know maybe maybe i'll do that for birthday next year once you're halfway through may until halfway through june anything could be excused anything's our day and everything's our day i i know better than to expect other people to feel that way but my brain operates that way that's right and as it should all right we've got another one from meredith who's a she her pronouns thank you for normalizing pronouns and the subject line is i got sleep paralysis for my birthday wow lucky lucky okay meredith says hi eva et al uh today is my 29th birthday and her birthday is april 29th so this is your golden year that's right happy b-day happy golden birthday i'm a taurus so i don't believe in any of that bullshit and then says like with a smiley face like probably the crowd okay taurus yeah i see you like we're just being stubborn for no reason i see you taurus and then and then she says but you didn't click on this for my astrology jokes okay listen taurus you are taurus season's over yeah have you gotten the memo over get the memo as a mutable sign season it's gemini time as i just said halfway through may is my time even though that's taurus season it's my time okay give me it like btfu back the fuck up you know i do okay this isn't paranormal really but it was creepy as hell and on my birthday no less very rude of the universe well i spent all morning trying to do damage control from the problem co-worker and about 2 p.m i decided i deserved a nap that's right um so i walked from my office to my living room where one of my cats was being cute sleeping on the sofa and i snuggled up with her i set an alarm for one hour but when it went off june who i guess is the cat and you have a june who's a cat that's right it's a great name uh june was still sleeping next to me and it's still my birthday so i was like just a few more minutes and fell back asleep apparently that was a mistake my parents are coming at six to pick me up for dinner and the next thing i knew i heard their voices in the house oh and of course i thought shit i slept a whole two hours and i tried to get up or say something but nothing happened then i felt that i couldn't actually see but i felt my mom somehow on the sofa next to me this is not a sofa two adults can lie on but she felt someone lying next to her no not no no she told me that they had just decided not to take me out for my birthday which made me very sad but also confused because like why are you in my house then yeah and my mom's various limbs that alone needs to be what a weird way to say that should a backspace and retype that one meredith no i love it fucking own it my mom's various limbs seemed to be in places that didn't make sense i told you it needed to stay it needed to stay i bet meredith actually was like this is the best way i this is the nicest way i can submit this to a fucking story contest i started to think this might be a dream but i still couldn't move or speak or wake myself up then suddenly my parents were gone and i was still frozen except for my toes fingers and eyes i was looking at june sleeping on the blanket in front of me except her face was now on the back of her head what the fuck hey and you can't move i'd be like hey this is the exact moment i would like to move please uh hey my brain is now breaking in half i was now firmly convinced i was having sleep paralysis although i didn't that didn't make what i was seeing any less disturbing uh-uh for what felt like hours i keep trying to move get up anything and sometimes i would think i'd done it only to realize that it was too an illusion jesus for hours nightmare nightmare your parents better take you to like the finest steakhouse for this dinner when you better show up with champagne after i don't know forever i heard my parents voices outside and this time i thought they might really be there i heard them ring the doorbell and start getting more concerned when i didn't answer i mean imagine literally hearing the doorbell and you can't get up being frozen still like how is this not waking your body up i'm getting freaked out i'd be like my soul is like barely attached to my body on vacation yeah yeah i was worried they would look in the front window and see me motionless on the couch and think i died and the cat's face on the wrong side of his head everything's just like fucking bat bat shit crazy if they saw both those things i would hope that they would come try to save you i think they'd be in sleep paralysis it's just such a nightmare i uh oh my god hang on my fingers panicked and now i don't know where i am oh my god i was worried they would look in the front window and see me motionless on the couch and think i died we're an anxious family i tried to yell for them and i was like oh my god i'm not when they had the same non-result as always i tried to just straight up scream which would have been much less scary than seeing their daughter napping on the couch i'm sure okay i think they're being sarcastic yeah right okay okay i i couldn't do that either the screaming yet i heard my own scream coming from what sounded like across the street what so now you're throwing your own voice even though your soul is still having a slumber party across the street and it needs to get the fuck home right now or i wonder if you were trying to scream but the soul that's barely attached from you is across the street and was trying to get your attention saying it's over there oh my god fucking bring it back and then suddenly all the sounds stopped my body felt normal and i cautiously moved my arms and legs everything worked and i couldn't hear any voices anymore so i checked my watch only an hour since my alarm went off and the whole ordeal probably couldn't have been more than 10 minutes if that june was where i'd left her looking totally unbothered with her face the right way this time i like how she couldn't sense your peril or could and just ignored it which is what my juniper would do i think my other cat wednesday noticed something was off though because as i finally managed to sit up she jumped on the couch and came over to me i was still in panic mode but there was nothing to panic about anymore and then i thought you know who would love this story we were the first fucking people that came to mind oh god and that's the end of the letter too by the way i that what a what a tale she wove such a fucking horrorist i mean really i'm wow i really uh i really am taken aback by this like i think i really hate i really hate the idea of time stretching like feeling like really long and i mean thank god it wasn't actually hours right but like that feeling of like something's lasting so long is dreadful to me and also like why i wonder did your did your parents show up or was that part of the dream too you know what i wonder my my understanding is like now they're fine they're here it's been just like two hours yeah okay wow i um yeah that sounds absolutely horrible have you ever heard the concept i don't even know what the right phrasing is but like it's like i'm it's somewhere on reddit that like one day prisons will just be like mental prisons and you'll you could be sentenced for like what feels like a thousand years i mean i've seen the black mirror episode of that okay so maybe that's the black mirror episode that scared the shit out of me for the like i was literally petrified of that episode it scared me like you literally just you don't actually lose any time at all and maybe your sentence in real life is like 10 minutes long yeah but you could be imprisoned for what feels like a thousand years feels like it's like hundreds of years there yeah that was uh blue mirror or blue mirror black that was a blue moon uh black actually like the like those blue light blue blue uh whatever stupid i don't know i've let's i'm moving on um thank you so much um sorry that that was your birthday i hope you at least got a good dinner like m said you know like please can you imagine if then they're like all right burger king and i'm like what actually we're kind of like just thinking of you cooking for us like absolutely not i was thinking leftover friday what do you think yeah yeah yeah yeah i've told you guys before that i got allison well i tried to surprise allison with this cobblestone fireplace uh for the house and i got it from wayfair it's very very cute very witchy very spooky i feel like underneath the right thick ceiling beam beams real or fake it would look incredible and by the way those beams are also on wayfair um but now it has been moved into what will be the spook easy of our house and i'm not allowed to see what they're doing in there allison and her parents have been working on that day in and day out and i know that the fireplace has become like the centerpiece that they're working the whole thing around so i'm very excited to see how it turns out wish me luck i'm hoping it's going to look as spooky as promised i will take pictures when i finally can see what's going on all i know is that that fireplace became the focal point of the entire room so if you would like your own focal point whether that's a fireplace or a you know a couch or a table or whatever your thing is you can head over to wayfair and transform your space with pieces that hold up to real life join wayfair rewards today and get five percent back on every purchase and head to wayfair.com or shop the wayfair app for all things home that's w-a-y-f-a-i-r.com wayfair every style every home mr monopoly here miss me monopoly is back at mcdonald's with millions of prizes a 2027 cheap charity a carnival cruise vacation gift cards from doordash and best buy peel then play in the mcdonald's app get your bag no purchase necessary 50 us and dch 18 plus see play at mcd.com for rules and play at mcd.com slash amoe for info and playing without purchase by mail by november 2nd chance card game ends november 8th game ends november 22nd 2026 see rules for prize details monopoly is a registered trademark of hasbro okay here's a uh story this is sent in by brenna she her it's called paranormal birthday story cool hi eva m christine if you are feeling spicy sweet baby g hanky's moonshine june leona blaze allison and petrified fruit do we get everybody just about just about it's certainly a lot it's a real cast yeah baby g hanky's moonshine june yeah i love your podcast i've been a listener since 2020 and let me just say i've been to your show caught up in a year and got my friend hooked we've been we've been to see you twice and at one of your shows my friend actually got possessed what speak on that what do you mean she did a total 180 from her usual cheerful self to sobbing and saying some incredibly weird things we're still not over it okay wow okay we're sorry i'm sorry about that oops should have made you sign something did i yeah oops yeah don't sue me for that i think i saw your call for paranormal birthday stories and really wanted to share my grandpa passed away in october about two years ago it was incredibly hard time he was my father figure and watching him struggle with dementia was heartbreaking he was a quintessential handyman always helping me with my car or fixing things around the house a month after he passed it was my birthday i'm a sagittarius not a scorpio m so you're safe i sure am i live in illinois now but i grew up in michigan and since my birthday is always in the week of thanksgiving it's a twofer trip home the morning of my birthday he came to visit me in a dream it wasn't my first visit from the other side but it was easily the best we were back in my childhood home and he looked younger just like you guys have mentioned appearing in the form they felt best in we were working in his basement workshop like we used to everything was so vivid at the end as we walked up the stairs it was a heavy tearful goodbye i woke up sobbing but i knew deep down he was there to say happy birthday and let me know he's still looking out for me as the great lizzie mcguire once said well that's my life i hope you enjoyed i know i did love your hair hate your guts well that's a the endings today are top tier they are like i i need everyone in addition to the ending i need everyone in addition to the ending i need everyone in addition to your pronouns i want you to put your top three your your big three astrology because i'm starting to sense some patterns here actually right that's incredible like at least whatever your mercury is like your your like communication style because it's it's giving like some intensity um and some like kind of uh cattiness in like a fun way you really should for one of our like upcoming episodes you really should cover like i would love to hear like an astrology 101 from you i know it's not oh thank you i feel like i'm way too amateur for that but you know i could at least research it yeah that could be i mean i know it's not technically a crime but it would be a crime if you're learning all this and don't get to talk about it oh wow the way to get why i'm trying to butter me up yeah i would love to talk astrology um i mean you may feel like you don't know what you're talking about but it's i know even less so like i would i did throw the word kazemi out earlier and i know i did that i was like is that sushi i did that i know right i did that to blaze yesterday he went what you know that's typical honker that's where we've honker classic honker you know honker has a pisces moon which means he's psychic okay we'll talk about another time well okay i don't know really what anything means but when i hear pisces i immediately think like like very like in tune with their emotions he's a very intelligent emotionally intelligent man well he doesn't fucking talk he did but he's so stoic you know he's like the capricorn kind of overrides some some of it no it's it's everything's working in there for sure i think he just he is very wise about when to speak oh that's so deep but he's very emotionally in tune maybe we should do a totally astrology episode maybe you should do your psychic half and i'll do the astrology okay i'll just guess what you're gonna say next and i'll say it just to make it sound good thank you yeah okay this next one is oh well fun it was sent to us at 222 which you know i love that's your lucky number and uh this is alexa he uses she her pronouns thank you for normalizing pronouns bitch is this your is this your friend who did you just who was hillary duff what was that girl's name brenna i think this is brenna's fucking friend oh this is the one i didn't read it i didn't read it it literally there was one parentheses i didn't read and i usually read the whole thing it says she also wrote in about it after it happened but i didn't like know whether this the subject i got possessed by a ghost of your life show oh my god i should have said it because it says she did we're still not over it she also wrote in about it but i didn't want to say it in case like well yeah why would you and now i'm like oh shit okay yep she wrote in about it that feels like an eva move there's no way that we accidentally found it i think because eva knows us well enough to go what happened yeah that we'll want to know and that's a birthday gift thank you well happy birthday to us thank you eva that was what a gift okay and we get to like play both friends that's fine oh my god fine you get to be the best friend in the world you get to be the best friend in the possessed one remember when i said speak on that okay well then alexa was like holy shit you manifested it alexa was like will do okay you're like is this your friend and i'm like what the fuck i don't know is this your lizzie mcguire friend what i will say i i don't see the word the name brenna anywhere so there might be two people who've been possessed at a live show uh well that would be wild um let's see this is well yeah it doesn't say who the name of the person but i'm assuming this is the same friend if not this is bananas this is gonna be that that's gonna be you guys have to link up at that point yeah oh my god maybe there should be like um like a either uh like a discord or like a group some sort of group therapy for everyone who's been possessed at our shows yeah we will not be paying for it just to clarify but i would like to hear the the gossipiest but we want to be there yeah um okay here we go hello and that's why we drink sorry for such a clickbaity headline but it really is the most accurate way to describe my experience as i can think of nothing else to describe what happened can you read the headline again because i already forget it i sure i surely can i hang on i got possessed by a ghost at your live show and we want answers we want answers uh my best friend and i both love your show so we made a trip to cincinnati for your live show oh this happened in your hometown i don't like that that was 10 minutes from where i am right now uh this past april and it was written in 2023 so so april 2023 uh cincinnati is a more exciting city than we thought it would be and that's saying something as we were both raised in michigan hey what parentheses derogatory i don't know um fuck you anyway we both ended up with our own spooky things happening hers at the airbnb and mine at the show but this story is about me okay girl and she can write in her book her own story if she wants but it definitely made our last night there especially creepy now on to the possession part we were having a great time laughing and being scared along with the rest of the crowd it was about the point in the show where you're showing a clip where emma christine was in a sort of trance it was probably you doing oh god yes it's so creepy it's hard to remember as this is where i began to fade out of being aware of what was going on around whoa alexa it sounds like you fell asleep at our show actually yeah well you wrote in to tell us that wow your many limbs didn't weren't in the right place and your cat's face was on the wrong side of its head okay my friend and i looked at each other and we both had chills and to me it felt like the energy had shifted and my chills didn't go away what happens next is a bit hard to describe but i'll try my best the energy around me began feeling a bit heavy and it kept pressing at me like it needed to say or communicate something and it needed me to do it i've never been overly attuned to spirits so this was a first experience for me and i was completely caught off guard so this energy needed to communicate something but before i even had the chance to think about what was happening i thought what do you need to say at that point an overwhelming sense of grief and sadness washed over me and i basically blacked out over and over in my mind my only thought was he's so sad oh my god was that whaley house in 2023 yeah that was like mr like one of the whaleys maybe maybe it yeah and that was the first time we ever did the ss method and uh that was where i remember his daughter violet um died by suicide in the house and he was the new founder i think right yes yes he was because he had offered her like a peach or something she went out by the outhouse and shot herself yeah wow okay so that i mean that's immediately immediately where my mind went because remember when i would that when we did the ss method you guys were asking questions like and they were saying like where is she like yeah by the well or like outside check outside or oh oh oh oh oh i also have chills oh my gosh um that's all i remember during the entirety of the time i blacked out was just thinking he's so sad i don't remember what happened the last bit of the show i came to during the singing of happy birthday to my mom to linda uh with my friend holding me close and rubbing my shoulders and speaking firm affirmations and groundings oh my god whoa at least your friend clocked that like i would have not even noticed that my friend was going through something if i was watching a show i would have been like you had too many white claws yeah i'd be like oh you have some weird tunnel vision going on right now i'd be like why aren't you laughing this is so funny yeah yeah yeah i'd be like and also like what a jarring way to wake up linda dancing and wow which by the way thank you everyone for always being so complimentary my oh it's so fun made my mom very happy to get oh it makes it so special when it was in cincinnati like we sang to her i mean she wasn't there i guess but it was always an april show whichever show was closest to her birthday yeah we never did that for renata you she wouldn't have cared well she has an august birthday she's usually in europe and like i feel like we don't usually tour sure in august we're usually like finishing up something for the fall or yeah it's just the timing i love you mom i swear to god she's a leo so like she does want the attention it's not that we should have done one just on a random day and just had it we still can we have some time before august rolls around uh i don't remember what happened the last bit of the show i woke up to singing happy birthday linda um with my friend holding me and grounding me i was sobbing not just a few tears but like full-blown sobbing and i was shaking and i couldn't catch my breath and i was getting the weirdest fucking looks from folks around me i mean you did look incredibly moved by the happy birthday song to other people or terrified of it which like or horrified both are and and i feel like even if people are looking at you i think a lot of times like you can feel i can't speak on this but knowing our listeners and viewership i think a lot of times it's like oh should i do something to help rather than like what the hell is wrong with you you know what i mean like i think there's a different i'm hoping at least that you sense that it wasn't like a judgmental no i would yeah i would bet a million dollars with our crowd how do i help she go yeah yeah um i was absolutely shaken after this and i still can't describe exactly why or what happened we we were some of the last to leave the crowd as i was but don't think for a moment that that will deter me from going to another show we will it was like okay you will not be allowed i will not allow it i don't want you to go through that again we'll put you in a special viewing booth okay yeah a special booth or we'll just we'll just send you a like a video of us just telling you what's going on yeah we're both excitedly waiting for your next tour thank you so much for the work and dedication uh so hopefully you came to our uh poor decision store yes and hopefully didn't have another crisis like terrible crisis but i wonder like do you think it's the same fan now i'm now i'm really weirded out m because you're right there's no oh but it must be the same right it must be but i mean how would we there's no evidence there's no when did when did the when did i'm sorry i lost her name again i mean when did she write um i mean we've been to see you twice i got my friend hooked we've been to see you twice and at one of your shows my friend actually got possessed casual okay well she if they do know they did go back to another show oh true and this was written like in this may like a week ago so okay wow oh wow okay wow wow i love this eva good job finding those yeah oh my gosh i wonder what eva had to look on like in the mail at your live show possessed yeah how many do you think came up because i hope one i don't know but if there was ever at least five or six that should be a whole problem we need a red alert if that's going on 100 percent um and then alexa signs it yours and bagel bites oh cute oh my god mr monopoly here miss me monopolies back at mcdonald's with millions of prizes a 2027 cheap charity a carnival cruise vacation gift cards from doordash and best buy he'll then play in the mcdonald's app get your bag no purchase necessary 50 us and dch 18 plus see play at mcd.com for rules and play at mcd.com slash amoe for info and playing without purchase by mail by november 2nd chance card game ends november 8th game ends november 22nd 2026 see rules for prize details monopoly is a registered trademark of hasbro okay so i believe i'm up next this is number five and it's from let me see here um i was shaking my my iced tea but it feels like i was drum rolling you in oh it does sound like a drum roll ready and number five the person who wrote in is lisa she her and it says m christine eva and pets i saw you were looking for birthday stories and i have a good one and this by the way the title is disney birthday gone wrong oh i hope the haunted mansion is involved no that would be fun you can use my first name when i was five years old in 1980 for context my dad took me to florida for my birthday the plan was to stay with his cousin who lived on the gulf coast for a few days then stay with my dad's friend dd in orlando and visit disney world for two days dd said her boyfriend lived only four miles from disney i'm already starting to feel this is a fucking um true crime story and i'm like not loving it already okay okay we arrived at dd's boyfriend's house and i was so excited he was a lawyer and the house was really fancy it even had these weird toilets with no seats which i found out later were urinals good good yeah yeah could also be a bidet but anyway there was a lake out back with a little plane that landed on the water geez okay money next no big deal happy birthday the next morning dd was driving us to disney in a big white cadillac one thing you should know about dd i think i know a lot about dd already i'm learning i've learned more than i think you know what you've said yeah exactly she speaks for herself her reputation precedes her one thing you should know about dd is that she was known at that time for her love of the devil's lettuce okay i really like i mean i have yet to hear a bad thing about dd i mean dd sounds like a party okay um one thing you should know she was known at that time for love of the devil's lettuce i'm pretty sure she did awake and bake that day because she couldn't find disney world oh no oh no what do you what do you mean like were you already there and she is it like um like so they said they live for that her boyfriend lived four miles from disney world and now she's gonna drive lisa to disney world on her birthday and got lost i guess going to disney world four miles away so one of the most famous scenes of jersey shore is when snooki is on the beach and she's drunk and she goes where's the beach she can't find the beach and the guy points at the sand and he's like this is it's right here this is the beach where's the beach yeah and she goes he's going where's the beach where's the beach and then she gets arrested because she's like obviously so hammered she doesn't know where she is and she's screaming in public yeah i mean she anyway it's this is kind of reminding me of that where like she's like basically you could see the castle and she's like where's disney yeah yeah yeah yeah she's like i can't find it and like i mean i know it's 1980 but i think even then like they had like mickey mouse like signs i mean maybe it's not as much as it is now but i imagine they try to show you where it is if you're only a couple miles away but i don't know okay so she did awake and bake that day she couldn't find disney she stopped at a gas station for directions and pretended to get gas but then after she got direction she started driving off with the hose still in the gas tank oh what is happening i don't think dd was on the devil's lettuce i this feels like something something else something else is happening i know people like to say devil's list but i mean it sounds like maybe she's anyway eventually she dropped us off okay and we had a fun day the next day i was devastated to learn that we were driving home back to my dad's cousin's house my dad insisted we were only ever going to disney for one day but i knew better so basically the trip got cut short and the dad was saying like i always said that and she's like no you didn't like we were supposed to be here longer i guess it wasn't until i was 25 when when my dad told me the real story oh gosh what the day was the devil's snow or something i know i'm like what could it mean what could it possibly mean okay the day of our disney adventure i woke my dad up before dd and her boyfriend were awake he went into the kitchen and looked in the cupboards from for some cereal to feed me for breakfast the kitchen cupboards had no food but they were full of machine guns what the fuck what the fuck yeah that wouldn't just let us that was that was not dd's doing something much harder bigger happening i don't know what the fuck it is they do say marijuana is the gateway drug this is like is this how scarface started i know i'm like if i if i keep smoking am i gonna go downstairs and find like fucking artillery in the in the cereal box i mean this is so upsetting okay so i mean it is sad and i think it's hard like especially as a kid and i know parents like they don't always know how to handle things but like if it's hard to hear that your dad is like that your parents were like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry we're like oh we're leaving and that's it and you don't get to go back and and then they're the bad guy but like you just don't know what's really yeah like that sucks i know that feeling of like being like confused um okay so he went to the cupboards to look for cereal jesus and found cupboards full of no food but full of machine guns and heavy artillery just weapons of mass destruction i mean this is literally florida like this is a and remember it's a rich lawyer's house so like what is he up to with this money you know like this is sketchy as fuck okay a few years later dd's boyfriend was sent to prison for smuggling drugs least surprising thing i've ever heard right dd had left him by then so she didn't get in trouble in fact she got her act together and got a degree in engineering and okay hopefully figured out how to use a gas tank no just kidding and figured out where disney was yeah yeah and also found her way to disney world so that's the story of my disney birthday gone wrong um wow okay that is that is lisa i'm so sorry that happened to you uh i'm glad you got a good story out of it 20 years later though yeah and good to know that uh dd is is thriving we love an underdog love love a love a woman making her own way after getting wrapped up in something wow well you know i i say it all the time but i'm not it's i like when we have listener stories that are true crime i feel it doesn't happen it doesn't happen often and like there's something there's something kind of especially when it's like it wraps up at the end you know yeah just feels very um i don't know uh they're well i'll tell you i'll tell you off camera my mom has a similar similar story but uh what it yeah i know i'm leaving people hanging there i was i was thinking i was like should i say it and i'm like i i don't know how much i should say but um she she had a boyfriend who was into some stuff let's just say oh oh yeah uh i think all our moms did at least back in the 80s um at least they tell at least some of them do because my mother is like and she exaggerates so i don't know how much of that is true but yeah there's some weird stories from back then i'm like people just kind of were like oh well yeah no my i think it's i think it's one of my favorite stories of my mom like we've all heard that she has experienced a lot of ridiculousness in her life she's lived a life this one was was a doozy maybe i'll talk about it on a like a future patreon or something yeah maybe we'll keep it for like the private feed yeah yeah yeah well okay well thank you so much uh that was lisa yeah it was lisa yes okay now we've got our our final for the b days this is from oh my god grace who uses she her pronouns thank you for normalizing pronouns and the subject line is short but sweet tale on how i cursed humanity grace you're an icon so you're the problem i've been wondering if i'd ever run into you here we are so grace says hello all og listener first time writing i went to your show in burlington vermont and sat front row do you remember that show wait do i remember that show well we've we've been to burlington vermont a few times twice so that one of them was the last show before covid right okay because then we went the next was supposed to be seattle and that was february and that was canceled and we went to to may portland maine and burlington as our last two in 2020 wow okay memory what the hell happened here because i remember thinking wow i've finally gone to maine and then um covid hit so i remember like thinking like hey at least i got to go to maine before the world and lisa was with us for those yes yes and there was like a hot tub it was a whole thing i do remember the hot tub it was good i just remember already the air like things were getting weird about covid and it was like very subtle but like things were starting to get people were chatting um but yeah so okay so but then we went back to burlington and that was also the week we had our our snowbank right or was that something different no that was that was new hampshire and that was the next time we were there and we were driving through new hampshire i don't know anything you shut up you literally for the last like two minutes you seemed to just be a calendar like human i mean i remember very vividly the last place i vacationed before covid that was about it that's about the extended plan my memory of that time i uh i i remember burlington vermont but i don't remember the i i don't have it broken up in my head chronologically but uh they went to our show in burlington vermont sat front row yes this was the show where m gave us all a show with a hole in their pants oh yeah yeah I recall that. I love that that is the takeaway from the whole night that I. I gave you an opportunity to say anything else and you said nothing and then we just filled it in with a hole in the pants. I really, for those who weren't there, I remember that hole in my pants. We all do. It was a tragic one. I'm pretty sure I was flashing everyone the whole night and I just told people up front to just embrace what was happening. It looks like they did. Yeah. You know, thank you. I feel safe. I have so many crazy stories to tell you, but as my first submission, let me tell you how I curse all humanity. Way to bring it home, girl. Let's just start off like really low, like low ball it, you know, like just start off easy. Anything from yours downhill. Jesus. Let's set the scene. Vermont girl born and raised to European immigrant parents traveling in February to escape Vermont's icy tundra to Florida, the Sunshine State. It's February 2020. Okay. Well, luckily we have Christine here who remembers everything. It's February 2020, my birthday to be exact. And I decide let's sit through a three hour presentation on a Disney timeshare so we can get discounted tickets for Animal Kingdom. What could go wrong? Bad birthday idea, but it's okay. I logistically, you're making a lot of sense, but I don't think I could do that. Well, nothing went wrong. The presentation was just hella boring. However, I wanted to celebrate 30 surrounded by zebras, elephants, and other creatures that wouldn't dare venture to Vermont. Aw. Fair reasoning. My husband, two sons, and I absolutely had a blast when I was on my bazillionth beer because, hey, vacation and you only turn 30 once. I bet your two sons were like, mom's having a great fucking time. She's on beer bazillion. They were probably like, I can't wait till I can be on beer bazillion. On 30, my 30th birthday. Yeah. Sounds like fun. No judgment. I feel like if I, at any age, if I saw someone celebrating, I was like, they're having the time of their life. Oh, hell yeah. Good for them. Um, we had an absolute blast when I was on my bazillionth beer. A man stepped on my toe and I spilled my beer. To say the least, I was miffed. I sat down to have some dessert where my boys reminded me that I hadn't made my wish yet. A birthday wish. I closed my eyes and in Dwight Schrute fashion, opened my eyes and said, we need a new plague. What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you kidding me? Flash forward to a few weeks later and it's March 2020 and we get COVID. Girl. You, you better blame it on your bazillionth beer. I had just gone to Maine for the first time, you bitch. Why were you wishing for that? What was, what were. What the fuck is the matter with you? A birthday wish? Do you not have any respect for a birthday wish? Because some guy stepped on your toe and you're like, we need a plague. You know what? That guy who stepped on your toe has no idea what butterfly effect he caused. You know what they say? Like the flap of a wing. One wing. The step of a toe. The step of a toe. And all of a sudden there's a fucking pandemic. Oh. The magic of Disney really. Wow. So March 2020 happens and then we get COVID. My bad. Sorry I wished so hard. Yeah, girl. You should, for sure. My bad. I could see like the hair being twirled when she says it. My bad. Oops. Like what? Like manifesting's hard? Since then I've tried repeating wishing hard for other things, but it must have been the magic of Disney's animal kingdom. Stop. Actually, can you stop wishing for anything is really what I'd rather have happen. Like, did you once wish for it to be reversed? I wonder. Now that I wonder. Yeah. Interesting. I wonder, like, maybe stop wishing for things is the lesson here. Well, that thanks for nothing, I guess, Grace. Hey, that was a cool six years ago. Can you believe that? You know what? And she's still paying for it. That's fucking amazing. Well, you know what? You went to a Disney timeshare presentation. And I think that was called karmic retribution for sure. I think for some reason there's now an order. There's a balance to the order. You totally, you've been re everything's been rebalanced and I'm sorry that you were kind of the catalyst and I'm not really going to forgive you, but that's okay. It's our birthday. So we're still going to have fun. And, um, I just like say happy birthday to everyone. Thank you for sending your birthday stories in, even if we didn't get to them, um, Eva looked through them and we appreciate all of them. Um, and if you ever want to follow. What upcoming themes we have, if we have a call for them, sometimes we just decide on like a theme. Um, you can check out our social media at WWD podcast, um, and then the spot to submit is on our website. Right. And that's why we drink.com. Yep. And maybe, uh, at a town near you will eventually be putting out a request for what your big three is on top of your story submission. That's right. In a town near you. And also maybe if you've been possessed at our show and you're like, oh, I wasn't going to write it about this. I thought maybe it was just a weird panic attack or something. Can you let us know? Cause I, now I'm curious if there were like certain parts of the show, like what if it were this, what if it was the same scene, you know, and, and like other people were getting, I'm, I'm, I'm needing to understand this from sort of a bird's eye view. I mean, I would, yeah, I would love to know if they're, do we need to arrange like a group, not a group therapy, but like, should we, should we be getting these people in touch with each other? So that way they, at least the fact that your eyeball pokes exactly through the hole of that water bottle. Yeah. Like you're a goddamn professor or something. Like I'm the peanut, Mr. Peanut. Anyway, tell, tell Miss Pretty that your new name is Mr. Peanut. She's not going to allow it, but I'm going to try. Anyway. No. Um, thank you everybody. And I hope anyone else who has a June B-Day is having a happy birthday. Happy birthday. Dare we just try. Oh yeah. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. To. You. Happy. Birthday. To. You. Happy. I know. Birthday. Dear. Us. Uh, the most beautiful, pretty and sparkles and I forget all our names. Honker. No. It's not their birthday. It's our birthday. Happy. Birthday. To. Us. Us. And that's what we drink. And this is what we drink. Mr. Monopoly here. Miss me? Monopoly is back at McDonald's with millions of prizes. A 2027 cheap charity. A carnival cruise vacation. Gift cards from DoorDash. And Best Buy. Peel then play in the McDonald's app. Get your bag. No purchase necessary. 50 U.S. and D.C. age 18 plus. 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