Listener Q&A Episode 12

Hey, quick heads up to anyone in Quaid Army who enjoys stand-up comedy. I'm going to be at Paramount Theater in Denver on May 8th. I'm going to be at the Route 66 Casino Hotel in Albuquerque on May 9th. I'm going to be with my good friend Brooks Whelan, who, let's be honest, if you listen to the pod, you can tell Andy is growing a little bit jealous of. It's a very fun time. We'd love to see you. And now back to the pod or the ads. I don't know where they're going to put this. Make way for the Quaid Army. Say hey, it's the Quaid Army. Then you were on Late Night on, wait, Thursday night? Yeah, I brought you a burrito. You brought a burrito out. We opened with a lot of burrito brain references that went well over 90% of my audience's head. 10% was super excited. So we opened with a lot of burrito brain stuff. I also, in the intro, I don't know if you noticed, I said, you know him from the Lonely Island and Seth Meyers podcast, which some people thought that was me trying to grab a little bit more credit for your. Your work that maybe I deserved. Oh, no, I loved it. I loved it. I did like that after I gave you the burrito, though, when we were talking on the off minutes, you were like, what kind of burrito is this? I was like, this is a pretty bad basic, basic, basic peanut cheese. And then you just rejected it outright. Well, I took a bite of it during our interview and you recoiled. Yeah, yeah. It's a little. Because you said you'd bought it like hours and hours and hours ago. Well, it's from Buddy's Burritos in Brooklyn. Well, there you go. You probably aren't familiar. You're familiar not being in the late night world. Yeah. With the weekly New York Magazine's Vulture does Who Won Late Night this week. Did you know this was even a thing? I mean, I did, but I haven't thought about it like the way you do. Just like that's why that I wait for it every week, like the way you wait for a Broadway review. Sure. Probably you don't think about it the same way. Anyway, our friend. It's your Sardis. Our friend, Bethy Squires, who writes it every week. We did not win late night, Joran, but we did finish in the number two spot. Okay, that's good. And. Is that good? Is number two okay? Is that good? Yeah. It's exceptionally good. Oh, sweet. But how many late nights are there? Like, what are you competing against? Is it like eight different shows? Well, don't make it. Don't remind everybody how thin a field we're up against. I mean, it's Kimmel, it's Colbert, it's Daily Show, it's Fallon, it's Andy Cohen. Okay. Andy Cohen won this week. Okay. But I just want to say, because, you know, the last pod with you and Akiva started with a lot of shade thrown at Andy and I. Yeah, sorry about that. For the fact that we're. Pretty boys? Yeah, we're just like. I don't know. You made us seem. You made us seem like elitists, coastal elites. Yeah, you're a coastal elite. You said. I did like that you caught yourself. You said that you guys are the guys. You represent flyover country, even though. I couldn't even. Even though you would never call it that. No, you wouldn't. I couldn't even think of, like, what was the middle of the country. Yeah. Like, when I was talking about being corn-fed. Yeah, it's sad. But I will just say that it was the write-up of your appearance. The two sweetest sweetie pies of the Lonely Island and Seth Meyers podcast. Yes. So. Just know from where NYMAG is sitting, you and I are the ones who are, you know, keeping it real, while the other two are the ones that are, you know. Well, get ready for an extra sweet episode of the Lonely Island and Seth Meyers podcast. Here it comes, guys. Here it comes. It was so much fun to have you on. It was so much fun to be in a movie theater with people who just saw your fantastic movie. You know, again, obviously, you and Keith talked about it at length last week. But I haven't had a chance on the pod, after I've seen it, to talk about how much. How much I loved it and how great it is. And how I hope everybody will continue to give it a clump. Oh, please clump it up. Because honestly, like, I've been shilling so hard for it. But it's because, like, I'm like, this opening weekend matters so much. I know. It's just, it's such a shame to have to, like, sell it as hard as I have been. But it's also been really fun. Like, and I was saying before you got on, too, Seth, like, every single Q&A that we've done, so many quiet armies, it's been so fun with people, like, shouting it out. And the response, I mean, we were talking about the way you say righteous kill. Yes. I do feel like you throw it off. It changes all the time. Yeah. It's like, oh, righteous kill. And then somebody shouts it out again. You're like, oh, yeah, righteous kill. Yeah. I would say that on a solitary one, I try to say it the way you would say, and a good day to you. Yeah, I think that's how I try to say it, too. That is the way I try to give my righteous kill. Yeah. Oh, righteous kill. Yeah, we got plenty of it. You could tell there was a lot of Quaid Army in the house. Yeah. That night. So that was a lot of fun. I will say, though, you know, talking about, like, getting out there and flogging work that, one, you want people to see, but, two, you're proud of. The same night you were on the show, Charlize Theron was on the show, and, you know, she produced this movie she's in right now called Apex. Yes. I saw this. You're talking about the stunt that they did in Times Square, right? Oh, no, I was just saying, like, having seen the movie, and I kind of saw her movie, I saw your movie, and I get the, I don't know, instinct to go out and try to get people to see it. Because they're really fun movies. Like, they're both of them. Yeah. They're, like, action-packed. They're thrillers. Yours is very funny. Everybody in them is great. And so, I don't know. I just highly recommend both. I also just think that, like, and maybe this is because I've had such a wonderful time going around the country and actually being in, like, really cool theaters and da-da-da. But, like, the communal aspect of it, and I kept being like, I guess theaters are back. Like, people are going to. Obviously, it's a very, you know, like, prescribed experience that I'm having. But it's so. Like, great post-pandemic to, like, be in theaters with people laughing. And, like, it's so fun, man. It's been awesome. This was a very funny comment in the YouTube section last week. And I read the comments before I listened to the episode. Okay. And so, somebody wrote, If there isn't a 10-minute block of this pod discussing theater rakes, I'm going to snap. Yeah. Yeah. There was. There was. And it was. It was delightful. Oh, shit. Sorry about that, guys. This. You actually mentioned this line when we were doing the Q&A about a Juliette Lewis line in the movie. But there was a comment, Saw this movie on opening day for that quump bump and had a question about Allegra yelling, You're a motherfucking, titty-sucking, two-ball bitch. Does this mean that this movie takes place in the universe that the Style Boys exist in? Or is it our universe where the movie Popstar exists, which means she probably saw it at one of the prison movie nights? This is a line that she just, like, improvised. She improvised this, yeah. Yeah. And I was shocked that she said it. And I thought it was just like, Oh, this is, like, just must be across the country in third grade. Everybody, like, did you have this, Seth, growing up? Did people say that? No, that's not one I had. Okay. It was a West Coast thing then. Yeah. It had nothing to do with Style Boys. She just said it, and I was fucking thrilled when she did it. Oh, you did multiple burns. You had a comment. Okay. You had a comment early on where you said, I always hate it. Oh, no. Talking about movies. I always hate it when the sound doesn't look good. Did I say that? You can't look at the sound. So that was, that's kind of a very Jackal-ish corrections-based comment. No, I don't think so. You guys, I'm still on drugs. Like, just like, you know, I'm on 1800 now, Gabapentin. I don't have any real excuses. There were a lot of comments in the YouTube section of your interview where you talked a lot about painkillers and, like, just people being like, hey, man, just, like, look out. So I do want to stress to everybody that when we talk about that, Joram takes this very seriously. Mm, very. Yeah. Hey, I did not know this because, you know, I don't, I'm not, like, into the gossip mags. I'm not into the, like, the private life of our nation's celebrities. Oh. Quato got married. Oh, my gosh. That's shocking. Congratulations, Quato. Yeah, congratulations to Quato indeed. Quato got married at Intimate. But also star-studded. You feel like one of us would have made the cut, but, uh. I'm gonna say I'm a little surprised that all four of us weren't invited. I'm just relieved for Keeve based on all the, uh, sort of non-work-related, uh, meals Liz was having with Quade that he's now off the market. Thank God. Oh, my God. Yeah, that was far too close. Uh, but just real congratulations to Quato and his wife, Claudia, his new wife, Claudia, and to their intimate star-studded. It was in Australia, so I guess we should probably be. Yeah, yeah, I think, yeah, I wouldn't have made it. Uh, I like to picture that they had a giant mac and cheese cake, you know? One would think. Yeah. I mean, maybe that's why they didn't invite one of us, is they were worried we would try to. We would try to push mac and cheese as a part of the wedding. Uh, oh, a lot of people said that maybe Andy and I didn't join last week's pod because we were so jealous at how good your movie was, and we didn't want to sit there and have to listen to you get praised. I want to assure people we're both very happy and proud of you for how good your movie was. I don't think that that's a problem. Although, I will say, after MacGruber, though, after the screening that I did of MacGruber for SNL that we did at the Soho House in Manhattan, that was the nicest comment that I got, was that Andy looked at me and angrily was like, that made me really jealous. And I was like, wow, that's by far the highest praise you can get from a friend, so. Um, a lot of our international viewers are upset that your movie's not opened internationally yet. Oh. So a lot of international quades are looking forward to it. Okay. Uh, we established, uh, two weeks ago that British members of Quaid Army are called quids. Mm-hmm. I heard from a few British listeners that they are very happy with quids. Some of the SNL UK people are like, we sign off. We love it. I can't wait to have somebody yell quid army. Two comments based on that. Someone said, who's a quid got a quulp to get a UK release on Yorm's movie? I like that. That's great. And then I'm interested to see. I don't know if this is, if an Australian person wrote this or someone who has maybe a negative take on Australian people, but it is like music, so I'm just going to read it. So if Americans are quids and the UK are quids, does that mean Aussies are quants? I feel like you don't have to bleep that. This is just eating itself so hard. Oh my God, I love it. There's one new slang word that we're going to add to our dictionary. Job. J-A-W-B. Has been said. Suggested as a faster way to say Jeremy Allen Whitebody. Yorm got that job. I got to work on that job. Yorm got that job. Where's Yorm? He's in the gym getting that job. Oh, great. Thank you guys. That'll be easier to talk my way. So we're going to do some Q&A stuff today, but it was very interesting because we got two stories that were sent in. One's unique to you and one's unique to me. And we'll do yours first and then we get to mine. I'm just going to say that mine is a recent story that I actually had before the story was sent to me via Jeff, our producer. I had this in my notes to address with you. Something happened that I wanted to talk about and then an incredible like stroke of luck. The other side of this interaction wrote a story in, so I'm very happy about that. But also, this was one other thing. It was pulled out by multiple people that there was a real, wait, what do they call it? A snorm. No, sorry. Yeah, a snorm, which is a yorm snort. Oh, I didn't know that. Here's an honest one. This is not a forced one. This was at 29.55. You're watching. Can we hear it real quick, Jeff? Yeah, I got you. Jesus Christ. You had that queued up? I had it queued up. We got that. I want to get one of those little keyboards where I can press that button. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sounds good. Two suggestions for how to say hit us in the titties to our British listeners. Yeah. One was a striketh mine breasticle, so that seemed a little overworked. Okay. I don't know about that. And then the other one was punt us in the tits. Yep, really good. Maybe we'll set that up. I think you can do polls in the YouTube comments. So maybe under the YouTube comments, Jeff, we can have a poll for whether people prefer, whether our British, whether our quids like striketh mine breasticles or punt us in the tits. I mean, here's the thing. Like, Seth, you and I. You and I getting to actually hang out IRL the other night did make me really want to. I was like, fuck, we really got to like tour the podcast, like do the live, you know, it's like all those other podcasts, do that shit. And that really makes me want to go to England. So in addition to it being almost impossible for us to get together for just this Zoom podcast, like let's make it a goal to like go to England altogether. Well, let's do a live. I mean, doing a live Lonely Island pod in England. I mean, that's how we do it. Oh my gosh, yes. That would be the best. That would be fantastic. Probably Wembley. Yeah. The O2. Yeah, I think Wembley. Straight to O2. All right. There's three sort of longer mail that I want to go through today. Okay. The first one's from Laura. And this is really fun. Laura, hey, buddies. Today I had the great honor of reaching out to an old friend to inform her that you were playing her I think I might have killed the president fan video on the pod. Oh. Needless to say, she was shocked and thrilled that her creation was resurrected when Aaron uploaded that video two decades ago. We were both part of a lively live journal community of what I assume was mostly fellow college-aid Lonely Island fangirls. I sincerely hope you guys realize just how much pure joy it brings us long-time Quades and SNL fans to be able to hear your recollections on the pods every week. It is worth the countless hours you've spent trying to coordinate schedules and recording Viore ads, I promise. Oh, nice. Viore getting a comment. Yeah. That's a little extra for their ad scratch to get commented in a letter. You're welcome. For a split second at the end of this episode, I thought my own 20-year-old magnum would be might make an appearance as well, but alas, it did not. Mine was an Arty Party Kid Icarus remix fan video, which I was very proud of, and I feel like we should just maybe try to watch that now. Let's do it. Oh my God, this is going to be crazy. The rhythm of the streets. Streets. Streets. Perfecto! I knew this cat name already. I mean, it really is amazing that you guys made enough work that a fan could just cut that work together to make a video for a song you didn't make a video for. It's amazing how much stuff I had forgotten that we did. It's really, it's very. I mean, this is Cal Penn showing up in this. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. Totally. And by the way, great footage of Arty flailing his arms around. He did a lot of floppy dancing back in the day, too. It is definitely a reminder that you wrote Arty Party based on images about Andy that had pre-existed. Yeah. The writing of the song. Yeah, just his Muppet nature was. Yeah. It's very hard for Andy to take offense at the song Arty Party when, like, there was just enough video of him in the world that they could fully cut one to this. It's very good. Thank you, Laura. It's very good. That's very fun. Check that out. Check it out, everybody. 1.4 million views on YouTube. Pretty good. Oh, this is Laura's final comment. When I met my husband in 2009 and he found out I was a diehard SNL fan, he tried to impress me by letting me know that Adam Sandberg was part of a comedy group called Lonely Island. I sighed and shook my head. But they've been watching SNL together every week and indoctrinating their eight-year-old. So, Laura, thank you for that. Thank you for your Arty Party video that everybody should watch online. Damn clicks. It's 1.4 million views. It's 1.4 million, which I mean, I think means it's crushing booger, man. Give it that clump. Come on and give it that clump. Yeah, like, we can clump. You can clump outside of the actual Lonely Island. Yeah, clump it up. Fantastic. Wait, was that the story that you wanted to do or is this separate from? Okay, gotcha. All right, ready? Here's the story. Okay. It's from Teresa. Are you ready? I'm so ready. I can't wait. Teresa, hi. Hi, Lonely Island and Seth, but mostly Jorma. I'm sure Jorma has absolutely no recollection of this, but back in 2008, he very graciously agreed. He agreed to talk to me and a group of my high school friends about his experience on SNL while visiting his in-laws in the Bay for Thanksgiving. The only thing I'll say so far is I had no idea that's where you were from. All right, here we go. Jorma's mother-in-law was my art teacher growing up and a good friend of my mom, Dee. Okay, I might remember this now. Oh, yes, definitely. Now I know what we're talking about. Between them, they decided it would be sweet for Jorma to chat with a handful of theater kids, SNL obsessives from the local East Bay Catholic High School. And you were wonderful. You talked thoughtfully about comedy and writing, answered all our painfully earnest questions, and then delivered the absolute pièce de résistance by saying, do you guys want to see the first cut of a short that hasn't aired yet? Now, I have no idea why you had to cut that earlier if you broke any rules by showing it to us, but you pulled out your laptop and showed us not just any short, but what I now recognize as Criterion Collection shoe-in, jizz in my pants. Wow. Okay. Which, in retrospect, was an absolutely wild judgment call. A group of Catholics. A group of Catholic high schoolers, your mother-in-law and my mom, all gathered around a laptop in your in-law's home watching an unreleased Lonely Island short about premature ejaculation. Okay, let me pause for a minute. I'll always remember your mother-in-law scolding you in disbelief, Jorma, while you remain completely unflustered and visibly proud of your work, as you should have been. I think about that afternoon a lot. Now, this is where this story gets very sweet and very moving. I'll just warn you. I've had the ability to prepare because I read it earlier. Right. I think about that afternoon a lot because it's also such a vivid moment. It's a vivid memory of my mom, who passed away from breast cancer a few years later. She was a deeply funny woman in her own right, and even asked your mother-in-law to send you her SNL sketch ideas until she was informed that she could theoretically sue Jorma if you ever used them, at which point she was told to chill out and stop. She always called you Jorm long before the rest of the world knew that was what true quades called you. SNL and the Lonely Island still make me think of my mom in the best way. Grieving or really clarified for me how important comedy is. Not just as escapism, but as something that genuinely helps people survive hard things. We're living through a heavy moment in the world, and the work you all do to bring joy, absurdity, and relief really matters. So thank you for that afternoon, for the laughs, and for unknowingly being part of one of my favorite memories of my mom and Jorm. If I'm burrito braining and it wasn't jizz in my pants that you showed us, please don't correct me. I've been carrying this version around for nearly two decades, and it's going great. Later, dudes. Teresa. I'm going to believe that it was jizz in my pants. And yes, and her mom from jump. Called me Jorm, which I really appreciated. That's fantastic. And was that just because she had hurt other people? I, no. I think she just felt comfortable with me, which has made me really happy. I have no problem with people calling me Jorm if they feel comfortable, and it makes me feel very comfortable. Well, it's interesting because, oh, there was one other thing I wrote. Because while you were on my show, we were talking about how you, like your name, you've sort of become a Jorma. Like that you become the personality of the name you have. I think you really are. I think it's made me a much weirder person. - And someone said, just for us, it's nominative. determinism is the term for what we were discussing with did not have the name for nominative determinism i i will say like naming my son wiley i was a little nervous because i was like are we are we just like setting him up for like doing keg stands all the time like here's like you know it's like i don't know it just sounds like a wild man kind of thing yeah could just be sly though wait seth do you know what other names your parents were debating calling you i only know if i was a girl i was going to be amanda amanda okay gotcha i also will tell you that every single person until i reached snl like all through uh like college starting college and then in amsterdam and then in chicago everybody calls me soof which was my nickname and that always felt like i've always internally since i got that nickname felt more like a soof than a seth oh i like for what that for what that counts yeah that's that's a good vibe yeah my two names like what i was going to either be called nick or soof santos those are the two other names and then my middle name is is christopher which like my parents gave me to fall back on in case my name was too weird and then in high school i don't know if i've told this story but in high school when i was 14 i came home and i was like you guys know how much it costs to change your middle name and they were like what i was like it's four hundred dollars they were like you tried to change your middle name and i was like yeah i went to like city hall and they were like what you tried to change it to and i was like mcduck and they were like you were gonna change your middle name so clearly i didn't need anything to fall back yorma mcduck to coney yeah yeah me and marie we were debating naming it like that was gonna be our middle name when we got married we were thinking about calling it uh yeah you guys would have been a good couple for like you know not she took your name or you took her name but just like we changed it to mcduck wait did i tell you this story probably not so up in connecticut up in connecticut you know like the vibe in connecticut is that like there's a lot of people who have those like really nice house signs that are like wood carved that say like you know the family name or whatever and i told maria i was like i was like we should get one of those family name things she was like fuck no no fucking way and i was like oh no no it's gonna say the mcturds and she was like oh that's fine which i was like you know like when when you're like oh i'm clearly in the right relationship you know like yeah i was like i feel like that's uh i don't know if alexi would jump at uh mcturds well here's here's how it backfired because it is on the front of our house oh you did it oh yeah no i don't fuck around dude yeah uh like so so one all of our neighbors thought we moved or then they were like really nervous they were like is that their last name it's the mcturds and then and then all of wiley's friends up in connecticut started calling me mr mcturd and that's when it it backfired a little bit on me because i didn't expect people to call me mr mcturd i cannot believe you did not think half a move ahead it's not even a half a move it's like a quarter move you pulled a prank on yourself and it went great you know what i'll put this in the show notes okay good mcturds all right so here here was what i was going to tell you and then i'm going to read our uh we got a really nice note so i was on the train friday i picked the boys up to school take the subway go to grand central get on the subway and uh i got my one son has a friend on the train so he's off with his friend uh i'm chatting with that kid's dad axel's watching an ipad and we all kind of i mean it's dad's fault full dad's fault here classic kind of zoned out and we realized we were at our stop right now again this is a train you know you don't they're not gonna wait for you to get off or anything and so immediately my kids and again i own this dad's fault but they're not helpful axel's like folding up the ipad and then he's like actually you get it and then he runs to the door i put my ipad in my backpack and then i put my backpack on the ipad falls out because i didn't zip it yeah so i pick up an ipad and i'm just like super flustered and actually a guy reaches over and like hands me the ipad and i take it and i go thanks man and then he goes um quaid army now this guy's been sitting across from me for a while and it's just like very funny like in this moment and i'm like righteous kill and then i go to walk out and then my son's like i'll carry my own backpack and i'm like fuck your backpacks and again now this is too long to be at a station on a commuter rail so now i'm doubling back to get the backpacks i pick up both kids backpacks a thousand coins fall out of one of my kids backpacks like i don't even know where he got the coins like it seems like more coins than a kid could possibly have but like like the amount of coins falling at a rate of somebody hitting a jackpot at a vegas casino like you can't believe it you're like this guy who now has like quaid armied me is like makes eye contact with me looking and i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like oh i'm just like lost the plot i'm like so i'm so stressed and then i just kind of run out and i was gonna come on and apologize basically say that like i deserve a demotion and quaid army for how badly uh i behave and then as luck would have it uh this dude actually wrote his take on it great great so that that's my take so uh uh here we go okay uh it's from theodore all right uh first things first i need to apologize to seth i was the quaid on the train this friday i feel like i unintentionally threw him off his rhythm first of all theater you did not that was off my rhythm i'm not one to bother people in the entertainment industry i'm a lifelong new yorker who believes in the credo you leave people alone uh plus i'm in my 50s and too neurotic you and me both buddy yet i had in my mind the only people i would say something to were conan o'brien and any of the people associated with the long land podcast i genuinely enjoyed the podcast your varied friendships and warmth towards each other comes across here on the show i figured i would run into yorma because we live in the same neighborhood in brooklyn his wife and i would run into yorma because we live in the same neighborhood in brooklyn his house is just a couple towns over from my house in connecticut plus i also fell from 17 feet onto cement and shattered my leg and my ankle so i figured we must share some cosmic goo yeah um anyway this brings me to friday for the first hour and 20 minutes i did not realize seth was sitting across from me i just thought it was some annoying guy he decided to bring a freaking buffet on the train like it was his favorite stront uh this is also true i feed my kids on the train yorm they i have to get pizza from two different places and it's true i have so much food and he was he's right uh he's right to be uh to be offended by that this fucking guy yeah uh think of all the germs floating around on the train uh yeah but i don't i don't i gotta clear it when you're a dad you gotta dad it up then he wrote there was a woman two seats ahead of us who sounded like she was gonna die of consumption do you remember dude i totally knew this woman coughed so bad yorm the guy sitting behind her stood up and offered her water uh between her and your feast for the ages i almost switched cars i actually texted my wife to complain about this situation unfolding around me then i weren't recognized with seth this is our text exchange me the annoying food guy turns out to be seth myers by the way for all the kind things theodore says like it is really hammering home this like back of the head guilt that maybe everybody was like that's too much food to have on the train and now i know for theodore it is uh the really annoying food guy turns out to be seth myers wife really yes i'm thinking of saying something quaid army wife what the fuck are you talking about me total recall stuff wife the movie question mark me it's the name of the character from the movie wife and this is something you're supposed to say question mark me look we're getting off topic should i say something or not wife i'm at work explanation point me fuck he's getting up it's now or never a few minutes past uh me not sure that worked out for him i think i spooked him his eyes got real bad uh then he realized why my eyes got real big seth had almost forgotten a bag and then when he went to grab it pennies and nickels went everywhere i looked out the window i think i might have locked eyes with seth and not in a good way totally not i did not lock eyes with the good theater i think i need to apologize for making his disembarkment more challenging lastly the old guy sitting in front grabbed all the change for himself i mean that's a fantastic retail uh i don't think i've ever in my life had uh like a movie of myself from somebody else's point of view i i relate so perfectly i've mentioned this so many times people like i would love if on your deathbed you got to hear everything that has been talked about you from strangers i'm just like look at that damn shit like i mean uh i'm really gotta i gotta i could firstly i gotta figure out how to not not fully stront the train that's great i mean here's the thing you're a dad it's really hard to be a dad like it's hard to be a dad and it's uh it's hard to feed your kids there's the other thing which is i feel like my wife thinks the train is like this super chill two hours like yeah it's just like them on an ipad with like headphones and a splitter fighting about what they want to watch neither of them will like eat their own fucking food and they're like oh my god i'm feeding it to them like they're birds yeah sucks oh man like like they're just zombies like you know what what's a good a little cheat code for parents out there carrots i feel like are very easy you just pop them in their hands and there's something about a carrot like when they're watching tv they just eat carrots i don't know at least my kids do um i'm gonna get the line wrong but i went alexi and i went and saw this play called fallen angels on broadway and it's an oh that's classy oh you know it or you just mean it's no broadway is classy bro broadway is classy um but we went because uh rose burn is going to be on my show and she's in this production and kelly o'hara is in this production And we heard it was really funny. It was so fucking funny. Oh. I mean, written almost 100 years ago. I love that about comedy. Like, when something's, like, 100 years old and you're like, it is equally funny to anything that has been written today. I often think about, like, there had to be, like, really sarcastic people back in the day. Like, Jesus's era. There had to be, like, pretty sarcastic people around, too, right? Yeah. It's not like sarcasm was, like, invented in, like, you know what I mean? Like, it was good. It is 100 years ago. 1925 it was written. And it is, it's so funny. Rose and Kelly are so funny. And they get progressively drunker over the course of this one-act play. And this is what made me think of it. They are trying, every time the maid comes out to serve them, they try to change the subject because they think the maid is eavesdropping. So they just have to come up with things to say to kill time while she's clearing the plate. And one of them says, I've heard the worst part. Of parenting is the children. Just like, yep, that is as funny now. You know what's really funny about that is that, like, that we would do that for Hara. I remember, like, entering a scene with, like, when we were doing the high-five bit where, like, it's just Rico, Danny McGrath's character, just high-fiving us over and over and over again. But that sort of thing of, like, entering a conversation where you're like, what was going on before this? Same bit. Well, that was, I mean, not to bring it back to your movie, but there's that great moment where you hear a line and then there's a flashback to explain why Tim's character would say that, Tim Oliphant's character. And do you know that that was actually Tim's idea? I only know it from, was it last week's podcast, did you say it? Or did I hear you say it on something else? Yeah, I probably said it a lot. I've been saying a lot of the same thing for the last two weeks. I can't believe how many of these screenings you've done. You've done an incredible job. Yeah, thank you. But there you go. You know, it's just Joram and I hanging out. Yeah. Yeah, finally got rid of the riffraff. Finally. I was, you know, again, I said it when I, about time. It was also really just kind of fun to see you in person eight months after your fall, see how robust you're doing. It was, it's so crazy because the movie actually came out, it came out yesterday and that was exactly eight months since my fall, which is, yeah. And then throwing out the pitch yesterday. You've been texting with Lorne Michaels based solely on the way he's sitting on the Lorne documentary poster. Yeah. Everybody Google the documentary poster. The Lorne documentary, the Lorne poster and you texted him. Is that how you used to really sit? Yeah, I did. I was trying to annoy him. And then we met in the hotel lobby to go to your screening and I saw the poster was on the wall. So I sat underneath the poster exactly the way he's sitting in the poster. Can we put this in the show notes? Yeah, I think we put it in the show notes. And then you texted it to Lorne and said, you just came across me sitting like that. I think Lorne appreciated it. I think Lorne does too. I should know Lorne is responding to these texts. Oh yeah. Dryly, but with a thick appreciation. Yeah, he's a very dry dude. No, you never get an LOL from. You threw out the first pitch at the bets game. Yeah, yeah. I didn't, I didn't do it well. Did you see it? No. I was, I was just checking. No, it's more of a lob. I don't know if I would call it a throw. I wouldn't call it a pitch, but it was more of a lob. But I really, I was more committed to the celebration afterwards. And I wish I had gone on for like a full minute. A minute of celebrating how great I had done. But it was really fun. It was my whole family game and it was a good time. Did they, do they play anything on like the screen, the Jumbotron, like to be like your work or anything? No, no. They like, they played Turtleneck and Chain as my walk-up music because they refused to play Dick in a Box, which I didn't really understand because it would have been nice. I was gonna do the walk-up music for Diaz, which is this Timmy Trumpet song. Oh, right. As if I was gonna, as if I was gonna throw some gas. Yeah. But yeah, like, so Turtleneck and Chain and it was a really nice time. I guess because Diaz doesn't pitch for them anymore and they're having a bad season, they were like, that might not be the best vibes. Not as a reminder. Yeah. Yeah. Well, so in the end, this really wasn't a Q&A. It was sort of three great stories and we appreciate all of them. And we appreciate Andy and Keith, even though they're not, they're the third and fourth sweetest Sweetie Pies on the pod. Yes. I don't know which is which. By the way, while this has been going on, Keith has been texting the chat that he thinks that's fucking bullshit. Oh, can we talk about what Keith's doing though and how happy it makes me? Because I think Keith's camping. And I just, I just love picturing Keith's camping. Because here's the other thing that I love picturing about Keith. Keith has a dog, which is also hilarious to me. Right. Like, very funny. He was calling it Liz's dog for a really long time. I think he still does. And then the other thing, there's just certain things that Keith does and I'm like, yeah. Yes. It was like seeing pictures of Keith at Liz's like family's like Christmas celebrations where he's wearing, he's wearing a Santa hat and being forced to like sing Christmas carols. And just, oh, it makes me so happy thinking about like, just so great. Yeah, they're, the Kikowskis are like real salt of the earth. Yes. Like Americana people. They're not your fucking Bay Area weirdos where it's like. Not a bunch of communists. You're like. Santa Claus is the kleptocracy. Oh, one thing I also, I'm just looking at the one other thing on the chain that went off on the, should we call our podcast chain the turtleneck and chain? Oh, that's great. Yeah, the turtleneck and chain. I got a box sent to my office. Okay. It was addressed to Seth Quaid. So that's how I knew. And that's how I knew. And it was just a bottle of sparkling apple juice, which I thought was really nice. That's great. That's great. Oh, man. So whoever that was from, just know it was, it was received and it delighted us. All right, Jorn, lovely to see you again. Seeing you in person was a delight. And we're just one day closer to the four of us getting together in person. Oh, my gosh. And having a proper meal. And going to England. All right, enjoy camping, Keeve. Enjoy whatever bullshit you're on, Andy. I asked him for a voice note about whether he got the B today. I will assume the fact that we just. We did not receive one. He quid. Means that he is failing. And love you, Jorn. Love you, too, Seth. Joke's on you, Seth, you piece of human dog shit. Because I came in at the 11th hour right before release of the pod to let you know I did not get Queen Bee. But I'm also not done yet, so I still might get it. It's one of those really unsatisfying chime-ins. But anyways, I wonder what you guys talked about on this app. I wouldn't know, because I don't listen to podcasts. All right. Shout-out, shout-out, Quaid Army. And I love you guys. Do you want to try? Oh, yeah. Take it away, Arnold. Nope. Wait, wait, wait. Later, Arnold. Later, Arnold. Later, Quaid's.