Lisa Gilroy & The Verbal Hug Problem

Enjoy a refreshing apple and sweet caramel comfort in every sip with a new Caramel Apple 5-Hour Energy Shot. Caramel Apple 5-Hour Energy Shots deliver sweet and tart apple hits with a smooth, buttery caramel-coated finish. Dive into a caramel apple flavor straight from the orchard for a sugar-free fall treat. Treat yourself to a crisp apple bite and smooth caramel delight with a Caramel Apple 5-Hour Energy Shot. Only available online for a limited time at 5hourenergy.com or Amazon. Guys, honestly, the best part of the fall is, guess what? Caramel-dipped apples. And this year, I can have them whenever I want, wherever I go, whenever I need it, with Caramel Apple 5-Hour Energy Shots. It's the best thing about fall. It's the greatest thing ever on Earth. You must try it. Yeah. This episode is brought to you by Control Resident, the new game from Remedy Entertainment. Control Resident is the sequel to the multi-award winning Control. You're entering the world as the character Dylan. Dylan wakes up from a coma inside the oldest house, headquarters of the Federal Bureau of Control, only to find the building's seven-year lockdown has broken. The pair of natural forces that were contained inside have spilled out into the streets of Manhattan. And Jesse, the director of the FBC, who also happens to be Dylan's sister, is missing. Dylan has to leave the safety of the oldest house, master his own evolving pair of natural abilities, confront his past, and track down his sister before it's too late. This is a melee-driven action RPG and the combat is aggressive, dynamic, and personal. You'll fight through a warped, living version of Manhattan. Not a traditional open world, but a city that's twisting and changing around you. Using the aberrant, Dylan's shape-shifting weapon that morphs into whatever form the fight demands, mid-combat and seconds. Pair that with a deep progression system and you get to decide how Dylan's pair of natural abilities grow and change over the course of the game. Control Resonant: Nothing Stays Contained Forever. Coming September 24th to PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X and S, and PC. Rated M for Mature. Hi, I'm Bobby Lee, and I created a graphic novel with my friend Matthew here. It's called Deadweight. Look at how beautiful this is. Wow. Amazing. Dude, this looks great. Look at that. Oh my god, dude. You can get it everywhere books are sold. Barnes and Noble, Amazon, and gunnerbooks.com. It's rated R, Kung Fu Panda meets Kickass. Kickass. It's from my heart. And so, please check it out. Wow, wow, wow. Hi, Maeve. Watch it, hi, Maeve. Let's see you again. Wow, wow, wow. Hi. Wow. Oh, wow, wow, wow. Wow. Wow. Whoa, hello. Mine? No. Cream? Anybody have cream? Is that what you said? This is mine? Yeah, that's yours. I think hers are right there. Who has cream? I don't know why I said, I don't know, I heard cream. Kareem or cream? The Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Okay, that's what I thought. Okay, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. I went to school with a kid named Kareem. You really? Yeah, and his nickname was Kareem Puff. Oh, I like that. Was he black? No. Oh, okay. Is that a shocking twist? No. Just asking. Curiosity. Do you not like hugs, Bobby? No. I like your white teeth. In your face. No. In your face, man. So you're not a hugger? I do side hugs. I'm pretty good at that. What's wrong with you? I'm pretty good at like pounds. I'm a big pounder. Yikes. No, no, no, no, no. Big pounder? No, like this kind of pound. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, not the other kind. And then I'm also, what's up? I'm good at that. Why can we, like, where does it come from? Where does it go? I have intimacy issues. Where does it come from, Cotton Eye Joe? You do? Yeah, yeah. You always have? Well, I mean, I dated her for 10 years. Ask, I mean, tell. Did you get hugs when they were dating? Sometimes. He's like a cat. He comes when he wants to. He approaches when he wants to. Right. Yeah, and if he doesn't want to be approached, it's like. Because you ran from me when I tried to hug you this morning. Yeah, well, it's, you know, there's an energy that you exude. I want it now. You don't get one. Hey, you don't get one. What, did you get braces? Are we talking about this? I don't know. Yeah, I got braces. Yeah, okay. We talked about her teeth for like 20 minutes left. That's all right. Let's move on from it. 20 minutes. How have you been, Elise? Do veneers come from dead people? That's a good question. Where do they make that? Is it like composite? Because, you know, when you get your wisdom teeth out, they take, they, well, they put, you know, the dentist takes the old bones of other people's teeth from when they died and grounds it up into powder and makes it into goo and puts it in your mouth to make other teeth. Can you choose what teeth you want grounded up? No, it's just a whole shit mix of whoever got cremated, I guess. Oh my God, it could be anybody then. But that's true. Did you know that? It's like bone composite that the dentist uses made from other bones. And even the composite bonding is from other. I think so. Ew. I know. So when they make gold rings, they just take gold, melt it. Melt it. You're right, you're right. And make other gold rings. Yeah, and gold teeth too. I guess they melt it down and make other gold teeth. The grill. You're the smartest person I know. Do you like hugs, Jaime? Yeah. No. After, after. I just headphoned up. I won't be long. I won't be long. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just wait. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But after, I'm going to give you the hug of a lifetime. Yeah. I wish, I would ask for people's, like, can I have Sean Connery? Do they have that? Oh, the tooth. I want to choose the kind of tooth that I want. But I feel like if that's the case and they give you Sean Connery, you cannot change his size. What do you mean? So if Sean Connery has big teeth. You said they grind it up and then they mold it to your. Hey, okay, so I'm going to do some couples counseling for you guys. We're talking about two separate things here. Okay, what is it? So, Kalilah's talking about using. Using dead people's teeth for veneers. Yeah. And Bobby is talking about grinding up the teeth to use them as a composite that glues other. Oh, I see. Yeah. So what are we talking about now? So see how I opened up the line of communication for you guys? Yeah, you did. You really did. Thank you so much. Thank you, Nikki. So what's everybody's love language? Nikki. That is not Nikki Glaser. Thank you, Nikki Glaser. You did a really good job at the Golden Globes this year. I'm from the Golden Globes. Two years in a row. Just really killed it. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Lisa Gilroy? Lisa Gilroy? I went to the after party after the Golden Globes and I was floating around the party and everybody that was passing me was like, you're so funny. And I was like, oh my God, I am. I'm like, I've actually made it. I'm like crushing it in the scene. I've like arrived. Wow. And then someone else was like, you rock. And I was like. And then a famous woman came up to me and gave me a big hug and held both my hands and said, thank you so much for making tonight so special. Wow. And then I was like, oh, everyone thinks I'm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you say who the famous person was or no? No. Okay. I don't want to embarrass her because honestly, also after she said that, I just went, thank you. Yeah. Because I was so. I didn't know. I didn't want to. I didn't want to make her feel bad or embarrassed. Yeah. Look at Nikki. I love her so much. So yeah, I mean, it was Nikki's party we were at. So no wonder we were floating around and everyone was congratulating me on my big night. Yeah, she. I was in heaven. Yeah. Also, for whites, you guys are not that similar looking. I don't think so either. No. No. No. In fact, I think you're. Well. Go ahead. To your eyes. No, but to the public. I truly think white people do look the same and I do not think you look like her. Wow, that's surprising. Even I sometimes see a picture of her at a certain angle and I think it's me. Yeah, I have problems with whites too, myself. Yeah? Yeah. What do you hate more, white people or hugging? Great question. It's a really good one. I don't hate anybody. That's number one. Okay. Because I'm all about peace, love, and namaste. Are you allergic to anything? No. Does anything upset your belly bad? Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah, cream. Milk? Okay, marry, fuck, kill, milk, white people, and hug. God, you're quick today. What do you want? So I would. Who will you take as a bride? I'd marry a white person. Wow. Okay. Wow, revolution. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would fuck. Ooh. Very good. Milk, for sure. Sure. I would fuck milk, yeah, yeah. You don't even want to fuck a hug? It's crazy. Yeah, yeah, I don't want to fuck. Yeah, I don't want to fuck a hug. You'd rather fuck the thing that makes your stomach upset than a hug, which is the best thing that we have. Listen, here's why I don't do hugs. Because everyone has a different hugging style. Sure. Right? Some male comics are right shoulder in first. I don't like that. And they bring in their arm, and they do this lock, and then they go in with their shoulder. Okay. And have a very sensitive chest. Oh, okay. It hurts. It really hurts. Well, your nipples are always bleeding, right? Yeah, they're always bleeding. They're always bleeding. Yeah, I mean. Also, when they're taller, right? Let me just say something, okay? Okay. Because now I'm on to something here, guys, okay? If I'm hugging a tall guy, right, I get both under. Oh. Right? I'm not doing the right arm wraparound. But you can. What? You can attempt. No, I will not even attempt it because it looks weird. Let's try it on a tall person. She's not that. I'd have to do it with George. I'm taller than you, Bob. Yeah. That much taller, though. That much taller. Stand up. Okay. Oh, God. It's on camera now. Hey, the water. It's all right. It's all right. No, leave it leave it. It's all right. It's all right. Yeah, the whole spot. Yeah, EJ EJ Just leave it there. Just leave the town. Leave it out. I got so mad at Bobby get the comment What'd you get Jesus tall people problems? Am I right? But I was taller everyone. Yes, okay Now do the proper attempt to go for the over the the arm hug with Lisa. Oh, you're checking him and talking me now No, no, I don't want you Hey, so you guys are you're not that tall you just what? All right, check the piano. It's okay Are they on cam yeah, yeah and Bobby keep your pants higher That'll give you some height get me look taller look taller already Okay, so Bobby's in his kitchen it's 6:00 a.m. You just woke up Another comic enters the kitchen. Hey Thanks for letting me stay in the room in the room It's also growing Going flush But what's this Bobby I saw that - Bobby's fingers go like this you had to go you have to hug it this way I have carpal tunnel, you know this That's in so when you hug someone you gotta hold them. Yeah, you gotta hold them You like balled up your fingers like you had brain trauma alpha. That is true. That's the course. You didn't know that Yeah, yeah, I guess alpha dude, right, but Bobby, you know what I think might also make you feel really cute If you're ever hugging a tall man, you could do both arms up Oh Okay, so I knew a girl all right, okay bullshit I Know a girl that Linked up. I'm gonna just say it Blake Griffin. Okay. He came that's the girl He came to the Comedy Store to meet a friend of mine. Okay, right and he I went in for I went above Which my instincts that don't Yeah, yeah, okay. I'll pause because um, I know Stewie and I know that I know Peter but I don't know which Griffin that this one is We have I say it right you say it by Griffin. Who is that like Griffith? Yeah, what Griffin is it Griffin or Blake Blake? Oh Peter yeah So but I've made the mistake I went up then he picks me up. Oh Remember my legs were dangling. Oh, do you remember that and it dangled there for 45 second? I counted right and everyone was laughing I will not repeat that mistake again. Yeah, right. So I try to go under I want body control wait So sorry, you said you tried to go both arms up on him. Who's like probably four feet taller than you You were doing you literally six you were going pick me up You were doing a piece No way, of course, he lifted you off the ground you lifted both arms No, I would it was like I'm like he was a deity you asked for an up and anyway, I'll be like a deity, right? And then I grabbed a lot locked onto his neck. Yeah, right and he took me for a ride Oh, yeah, I just want to say there's no way you even wrapped your fingers around his neck if your feet weren't already dingle-dangle He didn't wait. There's no way you could do that from planted feet on the ground. Yeah, he didn't you know? No, no, he did an Asian bow. Oh, so he bowed to hug you and then yeah, yeah, there's more to it than that So he simply just stood up and you didn't let go Dangled you for 45 seconds You're saying that that's what I wanted. No, I'm saying that's what you did You put your arms up like this and you didn't let go the man simply stood up and lived his life and you were just dangling like You're right, you're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. Yeah. Are there people that you don't want to hug that going for a hug? It's rare But it has happened. Oh, I'm like something weird's happening. I think I've electrocuted myself in this one Um, I would say the only people I've not wanted to hug in my life are like I used to be a camp counselor and sometimes there would be like the little kids. No, I love the little kids I'll hug all the little kids There's a certain energy of like one type of kid that you just feel like they asked for too many hugs You're like you're you're done. Oh It's not even that it's like there's something else going on. It's like the energy is very like, I don't know. Oh Okay, what's that? Do you and Blake Griffin when? No, I don't remember that. Yeah. Oh, he picked me up like that, too No, that's a I That's a I. Why are you acting like an old person? I fell for that. That could have happened. You think so? Yeah, that could have happened. Yeah. It looks like a commercial you guys shot together. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. That's really cool. Real fast. That's scary because I can't really identify anything in that that makes it usually you can tell by the people in the background that it's AI. You can tell his right eye. Zoom in on the eye. Oh, yeah. Yeah. What's up with his right eye? It doesn't look like your right eye. Oh, look at his fingers. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the fingers are weird. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, there's yeah. No, that's his fingers. No, those are yours. Oh, they could be his. Those are his fingers. Oh, locked in. Yeah, and we're locked in like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. AI's getting good at fingers. That's upsetting. But your ring finger is completely broken. Yeah. Yeah. True that. Anyway, let's move on from AI. Dude, what the fuck, dude? You can't tell it's AI? Oh, I could tell. Yeah, right away. How? It just looks AI. Huh. Classic. Really good. You have a lot of pictures on there, huh? You really are smart, like you said. Like she said. Yeah. Yeah. You can tell it's AI, man. Yeah. Can you? Let's move on. Okay. Can we move on? Yeah, move on. Have you guys heard of a Choppelganger? Yes. It's like your ugly version of you. Yeah. Or are you the ugly version of somebody? Oh, yeah. I don't think you are. I think I'm probably Christabel's Choppelganger. No, no, no, no. I've been told that. Not a chance. Choppelganger? Yeah, Choppelganger. It's a chopped doppelganger. It's a TikTok slang. Yeah. So, Dan Ramos is my Choppelganger? Yes. But who are you the Choppelganger of? That's true. Yeah. Dan Ramos is an open mic-er. I know. Like The Rock, maybe. No, no, no. Kind of. Wait, there are some similarities. There has to be something. Like, for instance, I'm probably the Choppelganger of Brittany Furlan. Same eyes close together. Same kind of. Yeah. And his is Marcelo Hernandez. He's a Choppelganger of Marcelo Hernandez. Yeah. Yeah. How about the guy from the directed Parasite? What's his name? Bong Joon-ho. Yeah. Bong Joon-ho. Because I have a photo with him. I think we have the same eyes. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Did I post that photo? Okay. Anyway. So who's yours? I thought Kristen Bell. I don't know. I don't really get any. I don't know who else. I mean, maybe like Kate Winslet. Fuck you. Yeah. Fuck you, dude. That was actually really uncalled for. Yeah, that was uncalled for. You are the renaming people. My cousin Marcus. Yeah. He turned the heat off. It's like a sweatshop. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What? What? But Lisa, I mean, for a comedian, I want to tread lightly here. Oh, already? That's so mean for a comedian. For a comedian. You didn't tread lightly. What, Bobby? It feels weird now. I want to gently go into the forest. You want me to try? For a comedic entertainer. Okay. Right. That one sounds like adult entertainment. Yeah. You know what? I'm going to get out of the forest. I think. Yeah. I don't know. You're going into a forest right now? Like how dogs walk away from their family and they want to go die somewhere private? Oh, they do that. That's really sad. Are you doing that, Bobby? No, no, no. What I wanted to say is, and I'm probably going to get in trouble for saying this, and I don't know how to say it, but I'm going to just try and say it. I mean, you're very attractive for, you know. Then why won't you hug me? Oh. It's like literally driving out of the forest. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I'll tell you why. Female entertain, comedic entertainers. Stop saying that. Who says comedic entertainers? What is this? I just want to, I don't want to get in trouble for female comedic entertainers. What would you call yourself? Yeah, a male Asian entertainer. Oh. Not comedic? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's in the Asian. So it's, what? I would just, without the comedic, male Asian entertainer sounds like a stripper. It's a stripper. Okay, okay. Anyway, I don't know. Why am I sweating? Because it's hot. Oh, that's right. Thank you. Nice one. With Built, every rent payment earns you points that can be used toward flights, hotels, lift rides, Amazon.com purchases, and so much more. So much more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And here's something I'm really excited about. Tell me. Now Built members can earn points on mortgage payments for the first time. Oh, my God. That means you can get rewarded wherever you live and unlock exclusive benefits from more than 45,000 restaurants, fitness studios, pharmacies, other neighborhood partners. Personally, I'd redeem my points for. I use. Fitness classes. Oh, dude. You know what? I would love to see it for a built home delivery powered by GoPub. Yeah. I love member-only experiences, dude. Because it makes me feel special. Downpayment on a home. Oh, yeah. Student loan. I'm still paying my student loans through the built. It's really incredible. I went to DeVry. Anything else, Rebs? I select restaurants, you know. Like what? Give me one. Oh, Italian food? They have it. Yeah. Halal food? Built home collection? Yeah. That's great. Guys, join the loyalty program for renters at joinbuilt.com. That's J-O-I-N-B-I-L-T.com. Make sure you use our URL so they know we sent you. Built. If you're losing hair, you, you need to go to HIMS. HIMS. HIMS. You know what, guy? Tell me about it. I went to HIMS for my hair. Yeah. HIMS offers convenient access to a range of prescription hair loss treatments with ingredients that work, including chews, oral medications, serums, and sprays, dude. I do all four at the same time, dude. Wow. Yeah. Doctor-trusted ingredients like finasteride and minoxidil can stop further hair loss and regrow hair in as little as three to six months. You shouldn't have to go out of your way to feel like yourself. I agree. Yeah, for sure. HIMS brings expert care straight to you with 100% online access to personalized treatments, plans that put your goals first. Yeah, no hit and freeze, right? That's what's the best part. No fees, no cost, just real personalized care. On what schedule? Your schedule. Exactly. For simple online access to personalized and affordable care for hair loss, weight loss, and more, visit HIMS.com slash belly. That's HIMS.com slash belly. For your free online visit, HIMS.com slash belly. Featured products include compounded drug products, which the FDA doesn't. Does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. Individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral minoxidil and finasteride. Nice one. Anyway, you were very short. Welcome to the show, Lisa Gilmore. Yeah! Entertaining. All over the world, you know? You've been busy, huh? Uh-huh. Yeah. Tell us all about it. Yeah. Tell us all of it. You've been busy, too, brother. Hey, brother. Sister. Sister. Cousin. Yeah, yeah. Friend. Well, I did. I shot my first special. Yes, you did. Yay! The whole game came. Yeah? Yeah. And I know this is about you, but I have a little thing about him. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? No. Yeah. Tell me. No. He pissed me off. Can I just? I would love to hear it. All right. So, he produces Tiger Belly, our podcast. That's what we're doing right now. Obviously, this. The thing that you're on now. The program. Yeah, yeah. The program that you're on. I thought this was called The Slept King. That's my nickname. So, yeah. So, he is a producer here. He has a dude he got. He went to film school in Columbia. What does that have anything to do with anything? Well, he wants. It's a part of his, like, pedigree, right? That's just, you know, his qualifications before you tell a story. I took Taekwondo in classes in sophomore year. I have a tournament degree in film, yeah. Okay. Yeah. I have a Purple Belt in Taekwondo. Okay. Okay. I took jazz in fifth grade. Only Ivy League school with a film program. Yeah, yeah. What else? I was in A.V. Club. He was in A.V. Club. Oh, that's good. That's why you know a lot about movies and stuff. And camera work. Yeah. Camera angles and DP and, oh. He wasn't done giving his credit. He said DP? Like, director of photography. That's it. Morning announcements. You did the morning announcements? And we should be doing it. I know. Wait, there's a certain type of people who did morning announcements. It's a pipeline, right? Let's me and you say good morning, high school students on the count of three. One. Two. Three. Good morning, high school students of the country. Oh, I said on the count of three. Oh. Kalilah, jump the gun there. There's one school that is the whole country? We're doing the announcements for every high school. Can I just say something? Honestly, after I had a baby, I think I'm going deaf. Like, this isn't, like, I really think I'm going deaf. I can't hear anything. I was like, of the country. That's weird, Lisa, but I'll say it. Yeah. You can improvise. Okay, so good morning, high school from the country. Good morning, high school students. Yeah, yeah. One, two, three. Who's doing it? I'm the director. Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. Yeah, you did the morning announcements. You're the director? Then direct. I thought we said it already. I thought you were DP. Director of photography. Okay. You say it now. On three, two, one. You're saying it. Yeah. You're saying it. You said you did morning announcements. Well, then direct. Director's direct. Okay, anyways. No, I want to finish this. What kind of announcements did you make? Yeah, yeah. The lunch menu. All right, so three, two, one. One, action. Good morning, North Mesquite stallions. Welcome to this week of. You make me nervous. Sorry. Do it. I'm intrigued. Good morning, stallions of North Mesquite High School in Mesquite, Texas. The lunch menu. Got to remind them of the city. Lunch. We're in Mesquite. Monday. What? What is it? Holy shit. Monday lunch is a Salisbury steak with a little side of mashed potatoes. If it's not your mom's cooking, then it's not your mom's cooking. I don't know. That's such a good catchphrase for the cafeteria. Really good, dude. That's really good. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. It's so simple. It's so beautiful. It's so true. I don't remember there being an announcement at my school. We didn't have it in our school. We were a poor high school. Yeah, I think. I don't know. We never. Also, they just had one kid with a megaphone. Yeah. Yeah. So, what happens? The first class, the bell rings, and somebody makes an announcement? Mm-hmm. Like, good day? Bobbi, did you ever go to school? I did, yeah. But there's a theory about people who do morning announcements, and it's a pipeline, and it's a thing on TikTok where they're like, if you did morning announcements, what are you doing now? And it's always people either who are in entertainment or are doing. Adult comedic entertainment? Asian. Asian. Asian adult comedic entertainment. Okay. Wow. Wow. But yeah, there's a certain type that like. Or what? Like, news people? News. One of them was like a big, like, brand founder. Like, just. I'll send you the TikTok. Successful people. Yeah, successful types. Interesting. Outgoing types. So, that's you, Jaime. Anyways, back to Jorge. Wait, wait. Good. I'm gonna try one. Go ahead. Good morning. My voice is too deep. It's good. It's fine. I'm gonna be a kid. Oh, okay. Hi. You know what I mean? I'm Marvin Olohe. Nice. I took out a crib. Good morning, Poway High School students. It's Olohe. Marvin. Marvin Olohe. Fuck. Yeah? And today's lunch is SpaghettiOs with a little bit of marinade. And we also got. What? What? What are you doing? It's because we put our morning announcements on the high school page, but I'm trying to look for them. Yours would still be up there? Yeah. No, no. No. But, Jaime, I'm doing something. Oh. Can you look up 2015 North Mesquite morning announcements, the AB club? Okay. Good flow, Jaime. Very good flow, Jaime. I'm just gonna go back to this now. I liked this little character you were doing. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Anyway, I'm so. I'm shooting my first special. We're in San Diego. Congratulations. It was great. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. And what happens is Monday, last Monday, I woke up with a severe sore throat and body aches. Sick. Now I'm panicking. Right? So I get the IV, the whole thing. And then Friday comes about. Bless you. Bless you. I'm allergic to people talking about being sick. Yeah. So I show up Friday, very stressful. You know, I do it at the San Diego Balboa Theater. I did four shows. And then the shows went well. I took a steroid shot for my throat because I was losing my throat. There was a lot of chaos going on. But at the end of the day, I think we got what we needed. It was a good time. And everyone showed up for me. And thank you so much. A clap for that. A clap for that. All right. Thank you. But then yesterday, I found out some of the antics he was pulling. Without. I wasn't privy to. Number one, you gave the director notes. Yes. I asked him if. I could. Be in it. I could open it. I asked him. You asked him what? Would you like any. Can I give you any. Proposal. Can I give you any proposals? Okay. So you made him a very indecent proposal. What was the note that you had? Yeah. Before seeing you say, say it again, and I get to. But that's not a fucking directing note. That's a performance note. You should have just come to me directly and go, why don't you try this time? No, I don't. No, no, no. Why don't you. Sorry. Things go through the director. No, no, no. I'm. You were in the room with me the whole fucking time. And he's so fucking nice, you could just tell him anything. Yeah, yeah. Look how approachable he is. I mean, he's so approachable. You have so much going through your head, you don't take. You don't talk to the talent directly unless they ask. You go through the director. I asked you. I asked you so many times how things are going, how things are going. How do you think things are going? Well, if you have too much in your head, it might not have gone as well. I agree. I think that's the right move. Yeah. I think it's true. I mean. - And you don't bother the bride on her wedding day. Everyone knows that. - And I felt bad You tell the wedding planner You see what I'm saying? Damn, this is turned It's turned, brother He's just looking out for you Because it's true It's like when you're on set You can't Okay, okay, okay I think I did It was too extra to bother the director Okay, okay, okay Okay, okay I understand I understand what's going on I know what's going on Alright, here's the second thing then Let me go to the second thing Okay, alright Get ready, brother Yeah, yeah So apparently in Closed Doors When I wasn't even around Right, you said When the special comes out That I won't be doing new I'll be doing the same act Did you not say that? Did you not say that? As if I'm like I'm lazy I'm a lazy piece of shit I'm saying And you were adamant about it And people that The witnesses that I heard from Right, were like He was being serious You want to do a bet right now? Not the same act Some of the same jokes What? I said You want to do a bet right now That you won't If you throw a new joke out there And it doesn't crush You won't go back to Tried and true material No, no That crushes Because you love to crush on stage You love to crush So you're going to go If you panic with a new material And it doesn't work You're going to throw An old joke in there That crushes And you're going to make The audience happy Because that's what you do I really, really, really Didn't want to take George's side on this I promised you I wanted to take your side I'll make some money on it right now But I will say That what George is saying Is he's just a repetition Of things you've expressed to us Right About like What? How you're like On a Saturday night I'm sorry, Lisa I'm sorry, Lisa On a Saturday night You want to You feel the pressure to crush So you usually No, stop Okay, but I'm just saying I'm sorry I hear what you're saying I don't want to pile on You were piling on Of course I forgot about it He loves you so much You had the pylon machine It was going Like a leaf blower What? I don't know I don't know I just made that up There's no leaf blower Pylon Yeah Pylon, fun fact Is a Canadian and British word For traffic cone It is It is P-Y-L-O-N Wow Pylon Yeah Pylon Thank you for that I did not know that information I'm trying to break the tension Yeah, yeah, yeah I would like to defend myself Real quick, okay? Cool I had talked to the store Right? And I go I'm not calling in Until I have 15 All right? So I'm doing Belly room spa Until I have a strong enough 15 That I could do the OR main room All right? Because I'm going to force myself Not to do any old jokes Wow Okay? If I do It would cause me so much shame Right? And I I don't want to feel that anymore So I think you're wrong And if you want to bet money on it I will I'm willing to bet money now Ooh Go ahead, Alex I was in the room All right Tell him Yeah, go to the mic All right So George When George Sorry, George When we were When it first came up George did Who else was in the room first? Gene Hong EJ EJ Yeah I was not there I don't know who else was Oh, Ramsey, I think Was in there too Okay All right So when George first said it We all disagreed with George Yeah Because the way The way he first said it And he said it in a negative tone Correct? No Well, he said it a little Yeah Yeah , it's Columbia, guys It's natural Columbia I mean, I disagreed with him Remember, I told you I thought you were wrong Yeah, you're a hero right now I'm a hero You're wrong Bobby's the best I need a raise I need a raise I mean, I'll take some more But George did re-clarify And he said exactly Word for word What he just said right now Oh, okay Yeah All right He said if you were doing a set It wasn't going well You'd go back to an old joke But is there anything wrong with that? Yeah I mean, is it social? Is it shameful to do one joke from a How long is the special? 37 45 minutes Okay, so one joke out of 45 minutes If things aren't going well Peppered in Obviously, people are going to like the special So isn't it like When a musician plays a Releases an album It's not Freebird I'm not the Skinner Hey, do Freebird And that's what jokes are like No People do come back to your shows Every year to Bobby, I swear to you I have watched maybe, what? A thousand of your shows And every single time There are certain jokes That just hit And make me feel And make me giggle A thousand times I want to grow! I know Oh, I love that fan I love that fan But I'm just saying You do have a Freebird It is Freebird I have one more One more, one more One more, one more, go I saw Cheech and Chong A couple years ago They played the hits And I loved it I didn't want them anything Off their new album No Nothing off the new album All the hits Lisa, how was everything? Cheech came out In a pink tutu and everything And it was great Bobby, I'm sorry You're in a room full of people That, no, no, no P-Y-L-O-N Yeah, Pylon Yeah, E-Y I was just trying to diffuse Thank you Oh, I do have to bring up one thing Uh-oh Last time Lisa was here You told a very specific story That she was shocked by When you said You stood up Michael Bay On Thanksgiving The first time she was here Bobby has a new story You did it again? No, I went Because of you You went to Michael Bay He called Michael Bay To come to Thanksgiving No, you're kidding I called him You called to record Bobby, tell the story Yeah, yeah I called Michael Bay I go, hey, are you doing Thanksgiving again? He goes, yeah, why? I go, can I come? And I went You went to Michael Bay When was the last time You talked to him before this? Months Months Yeah, yeah, before Oh, but that's Months is not Yeah, yeah, yeah But I went And now I'm sitting In the biggest mansion I've ever seen in my life Right? With me, Michael Bay's mom Sitting across from me Hot Him, his girlfriend And a couple of like Arms dealers I think they were They were You know those guys With the They're, you know Kind of Arab-y Yeah, okay Yeah, yeah With turtlenecks Black turtlenecks Security Yeah, they don't really Talk that much Okay Yeah, yeah, yeah They have jowls Okay Yeah Jowls Yeah, jowls Do you mean like With fat or facial hair? Facial hair Or fat jowls Oh, I know what you're Talking about, okay, yeah Do you? Yes Yeah, yeah And they're sitting there Like that at dinner And I spent Hours there And did you love it? Yeah Okay, what happened? Where did you get Your change of heart? You Because the last time We talked about it You were like We were like You should have gone Like how could you You know what I mean? Dis That situation What? Nothing I didn't say anything I've smiled And this time I went And I'm gonna go again Next year Nice Nice, that's very good Yeah, yeah And we saw a movie together Isn't that crazy? Transformers No He only sees his Yeah The Rock No Which is I love The Rock Yeah, and it was a great movie But I went And then we He went Would you like to Go down to my theater And watch a movie? Oh, it was at his house Of course Yeah, yeah And I go Yeah, I'll go to your theater Just the two of you? No, it was a bunch of us Oh, one big blanket? And we saw We saw Running Man The new one Cool Yeah, yeah Which I kind of like It was fine, you know And then Popcorn? Yeah, there was popcorn Candies Did he have like A little candy bar down there? What do you mean? Like a little snack place For the movie theater I think I remember There being popcorn That's it But did you have to Take it from the kitchen? No, there's no fucking kiosk Or something like that You know what I mean? No, no one's selling it But just like It's not at Lemley's Like a little place For the candy to be down there I mean, if you're rich enough Why do you have to Like schlep your popcorn From the kitchen To the movie theater Like a peasant? Because have you ever been to Obviously you have Have you ever been to like Michael Bay's house? Yes Obviously Obviously Have you ever been to like You know what I mean? A friend of yours They're doing very well And they're a gigantic house Yeah Right, and you don't want to Touch anything and fuck it up Everything Oh, you do? Yeah, because you know what? The richer the people The more the cleaners they have They don't even know The possessions they own Or what order they're placed in You could take something And they'll never know Yeah, yeah, yeah Not that I have Or thought about it Yeah, yeah, yeah That is true They won't notice They won't Yeah, but I would What's his house? Richie Rich? What's his house? What's his house? Yeah Richie Rich He has a roller coaster He has a McDonald's He has a Professor Bean That makes new technology Yeah When I was a kid I loved it Me too I want to get that big Me too I want to get that famous You should have a McDonald's in here Oh, yeah He was born rich, though Yeah, Richie Rich was born rich Yeah Yeah Remember his mobile thing Above his crib was dollar signs? Oh, yeah You and I love that movie I wish I was Oh, that was an actual movie Yeah Oh, yeah That was a cartoon It is, but it's a movie Based off the cartoon And look, and he makes friends And the friends are all Like dirty, regular kids And then he brings them in In his little sweater vest Is it Melcoly-Cuckin? Yes, of course Oh He's so sweet Yeah, wow I love that movie And his parents McDonald's in his house Is that a film? McDonald's, and he had An amusement park His parents were in Like a plane crash Bobby, you're his Choppelganger I don't know what That kid's doing now Yeah, yeah He did the morning Announcements for sure That's not the kid From Spider-Man, is it? No, no No, no It's a really old movie Oh, okay It's from our childhood All right That's Professor Beankeen Oh Oh Yeah See his name, Beankeen? I think so Yeah I've never seen There's not a lot Of children movies Even as a kid That I saw Back in the day I never saw Home Alone Oh Have you seen it now? No I know Because I've been around I know bits and pieces of it Did you Did your parents Like sing Like children's songs Or play children's Programming around you? Yeah Like Mr. Rogers Yeah Oh yeah They did? My dad Would sing Christmas For the fun of the time Happy birthday To you That's my favorite Christmas song Yeah, yeah, yeah he didn't remember that old joke I should have done this my dad would sing Christmas songs make up the words and one of the jokes was Frosty here good guy that's so funny how like the energy was starting to tank so you started leaning on like good old material just saying you're right I do do that holy shit holy shit I did do that just now oh my god Lisa got you Gilroy got you oh my god I'm a failure I'm sweating okay let's go okay but you having never seen Home Alone really intrigues me because I'd love to know what you think describe the whole plot in your mind having heard well he's a kid Home Alone right but how did he get Home Alone that's interesting because this would be me with Star Wars like I've never seen it but I've heard so much yeah yeah I'll give you the honest what I think yeah their family was going somewhere and they forgot him where were okay great right they were out to dinner how do you think they forgot him I don't know they have a big family maybe a bunch of kids and they're in they're all going to go to dinner and then they're like and then they're at dinner and they're like where's Macaulay Culkin the whole movie takes place with a family that has gone out for dinner and a child is left at home for the night well I don't know I've never seen it he's there for days and days by himself days I don't know the premise they leave for the the information I know based on Home Alone I thought I did a pretty good job oh okay so that's interesting you thought the whole movie took place in one night where the family goes out for dinner and they leave the boy at home yeah that's so interesting yeah because I know that there's robbers because Joe Petsche's in it right so I know there's robbers and Daniel Stern yes yeah yeah so I know that they're in there so maybe they're at dinner and they're like well we'll just go home we're almost done with dinner we got something from Macaulay I don't know his name in it right so but during that thing there's robbers and I thought that maybe he was fighting them off yeah in a war except for isn't it even more titillating to know that he was home alone for like four nights that's in well that's that's bad parenting well the family goes to Paris they forgot him well how do you forget your kid and that's what we're saying yeah how do you forget your kid and go to Paris that's the trick moment but you were correct about there were too many people around and too many kids and it was a huge family and you were also correct that they did eat dinner at one point yeah the family I'm sure at some point in the movie the family's eating dinner the night before yeah and you know Macaulay Culkin's brother's in it too Rory or famously Kieran oh Kieran was it Kieran or Rory oh I forgot about Rory I love Rory damn was it Kieran or Rory it was Kieran it was Kieran oh I think it was Kieran Kieran plays Fuller who wets the bed oh wow okay yes so Kieran's in it and Rory was in Signs one of my favorite movies right yeah yeah but so they leave him for a week not a week four days no something like that it's three nights is it three nights okay yeah I guess that makes sense rule of three it's a nice comedy number you know also interesting is no one poos in movies oh no Kevin McAllister Macaulay Culkin he poos in that movie you see it you see him pull down his pants and he sits on the toilet and he poos and you hear it drop into the toilet and you see him wipe his butt and you see him look at the toilet paper and show it to the camera I pooed I pooed I'm home alone it's a famous scene that's when he goes like he's going I pooed I pooed you have to see yeah yeah yeah wow it actually I think broke a Guinness World Record because it was the first movie that I think showed somebody wiping shit out of their ass oh you're not kidding no it literally like won an award for that yeah I think he got an Academy Award for it because it was like you're kidding right bro and they and no because Macaulay Culkin actually had to poop in it like he he had he did an interview he was like they wouldn't do props for it they were like you need to actually they give him beans for days remember remember the beans in remember Dennis Menes yes that was my favorite with Walter Matthau yeah and he has to feed all the beans to the guy who kidnapped him yeah that was kind of horny to me when I brought the poo you know what I mean I thought it would be an interesting thing to go off on but I guess there's a lot of movies with poo yeah no like in Die Hard you know he's got the he's running on glass yeah you know what I mean at one point he had to go to the bathroom but they just don't show it which is interesting no but it's just one night Die Hard you could hold a poo for a night if there's an emergency I'm sure you could hold your poo oh you saw Die Hard yeah I did yeah yeah yeah it's one night you're right one night yeah yeah yeah okay yeah well that's a good point but that's a tough night yeah it's a tough night but I think if your wife has a gun pointed at her head you don't need to go to the bathroom anymore oh that's right she was down there with the Harry Potter guy what's his name Mr. you know he's like Snape is that Snape do you think you can catch us now Mr. Cowboy you know that show that you do on the YouTube it's so funny where you dressed up as a lion or something oh yeah oh the dropout show yeah this is like talking to my dad about what I'm doing in college no but it's it's really good that like big yellow monster thing yeah I've always wanted to do that show where it's like you should Bobby I don't think they would have me very important people yes interview is very important yes yeah but I would love to challenge myself to do it now can I ask you about that show of course so they you don't know what you're gonna be dressed up as that's right so but you're in makeup and while they're put applying things to your face you're kind of developing it there right no because you have your eyes closed and also they're so sneaky like so you have your eyes closed in this prosthetics makeup chair for like three hours and they're poking and prodding and they do sneaky things like they'll put a glove on you and then later they'll take it off or they'll put some sort of crazy wig so you can see the bangs of it and then before the reveal they remove it and put something else like they're really trying to fuck with you but most of the time you just you don't know oh so there's probably no mirrors then no there's no mirrors right you get to look at yourself like this video is looking in the mirror for the first time oh no it's not this is the getting done but before before you shoot you see yourself no they shoot you seeing yourself for the first time and you get two minutes to come up with whatever character you're going to be oh my god that's amazing so this I had my eyes closed the whole time the only time I opened them they put yellow contacts in and I could tell the contacts were yellow because I could see the rims of them wow but I didn't know anything else wow that sounds so fun it is fun were you nervous very tricky I don't get nervous because you can't really like prepare for it anyways right you don't get nervous at all do you not usually really like when you were doing Black Mirror you weren't you weren't nervous no because you get a few takes to do that you know these the younger kids I just say it about the younger kids they're just so grounded and you know what I mean well like when we were in high school in 2015 doing the announcements we were never nervous because you know what do you have to lose we're just flying through space and everybody's going to die so soon who cares yeah but that's just yeah but that's just healthy me it was like if you fuck I look in the mirror if you fuck up on this line dude it's over it's fucking over dude perfect do it perfect yeah but you get multiple takes you know that but then you realize yeah through time yeah yeah what you realize when you're in something and then someone like supposed to be like really good yeah doesn't know their line oh yeah the really good actors never do I go oh you don't even know yeah yeah you're allowed to make mistakes yes yeah but I didn't think that for the first 10 years in the business I put a lot of pressure on myself it seems like you still do yeah kiss I do do but when do you think you'll like be fully realized like when do you think there'll be a time in your life where you're like ah I'm Bobby Lee and it feels good to be me like how old do you think you'll be 93 deathbed no no no I think I'm there now he's close I think he's close I'm pretty close yeah oh that's interesting because a second ago I saw you screaming at all the people who I think it was the steroids that I took yeah I think it was the steroids yeah you're on steroids well because I lost my voice Saturday and I called Kalilah because she was in town in San Diego she was the doctor basically she was basically the doctor and I go what do I do I lost my voice and she came with a big needle of steroids no she found me like a makeshift doctor a makeshift a concierge doctor a Somalian he's a real doctor and he did a house call and you know it's the shot they give to like Adele if she needs to perform but she's sick so did you sound like her yeah hello hello it's me you're like you're trying to say your act but you can't it's just Adele but then I had told him I was like hey like you're gonna feel aggro and like wired so just like chill out and don't snap at people but why did you tell him that because he's so susceptible his brain is like a sponge you should have said you're gonna feel confident and funny and then he would have been like oh the steroids are working but he did he did say that but then I told the reason I had to tell him is because he usually slams Red Bulls and all these stimulants so I was like hey chill out on the Red Bulls and stuff because you're already gonna feel like amped and he did feel amped where did they shoot it in my shoulder in your shoulder yeah in my shoulder yeah he put it in his shoulder and I had an IV I had a couple of IVs too oh they bruised you on that one yeah no because I did it oh they bruised me yeah two times it went through here though maybe yeah you had a little bruise there but did it help though like your voice actually came back to life it's I don't know if you heard my voice you heard it Friday night right yeah it was you weren't talking anymore at dinner I was not talking anymore and then as the day goes by it's not working I was like this it's not working it's not working it's not working it's working wow it was like that how does it work does anyone know the science behind that it just basically if you're inflamed here it just knocks down all inflammation wow yeah because he was sick yeah and then Gene brought Chinese shit what kind Herbals that red bottle TCM something like that yeah because you know Gene's friends with Adam Levine yeah and he's like like Adam Levine uses this. was psychological he might he might have made that yeah maybe but when i sipped it i'm like it's working too i bet it did it's probably warm and it's warm honey-ish yeah it has like a medicinal medicinal medicinal taste okay no it's an honor to watch you learn that it's what chinese opera singers use chinese opera singers wow yeah and then um my agent was like trevor noah uses this so he got me some of that which is that everyone's just name dropping yeah people no i'm just i'm naming it i'm name dropping wait what fruit was that involved with that it was a nectar nectarine it's a nectarine yeah yeah but um all of it pretty much helped and by the time because i have one joke where i have to screech oh no yeah i know and you hit it i hit it you know man so is that the one you wanted him to be louder on like you're so good at callbacks is that one no no yeah yeah you get loud on that one all right do you have any be real any performance aside from that one thing any performance not no those were the two things that you can also just fix an editing okay if you like the notes okay all right yeah and facetune has like body editing so you could give yourself tits or whatever make your waist itty bitty big fat ass whatever you want you can do it in adr yeah yeah i you know what's funny she's great why are you so quiet today yeah you're very quiet today it's because i'm thinking about the ham and grilled uh the ham and cheese grilled cheese you had ham and cheese grilled cheese this whole episode you've been thinking about a grilled cheese what is it that sounds good they had a ham and cheese grilled sandwich the ham and cheese grilled sandwich you saw him eating it it looked good no no he had him like in his catering like let's say you're doing morning announcements how would you describe it yeah how would you describe it for cafeteria announcement what the grilled the grill that one uh for breakfast today save the city oh another mesquite you guys know what school this is yeah what's up pirates oh wait wait what's up i went to south garland and they had uh uh what's that guy yeah yeah yeah kids are in class we're like he's talking to him he's having a mental breakdown what's the oh what's up confederates um that was a that was he's having a mental breakdown what's the oh what's that guy yeah yeah kids are in class we're like he's talking to him mine was my mascot was the gay lords oh that's really yeah fun what do they look like strathcona gay lords it was like a lion in a little tiny sweater yeah i don't know why i'm titans that's cool that's cool what's yours vikings oh they're liking yeah yeah yeah anyway go the confederates uh is right i did not go to your high school man i'm just losing his mind no um yeah they had ham and grilled tea sandwiches okay romance it romance it what do you mean you're on announcements like okay pretend you're a waiter at a restaurant you're like today's special is uh and then talk about the sandwich for 35 seconds no what why don't we do this right you're doing a commercial okay get us all right it's a two shot okay you you it's you and lisa okay all right and it's it's for this new ham and right okay action hmm i'm hungry what do you got um i'm not in the mood for anything heavy maybe just like a sandwich or something but you're the waiter yeah yeah oh she went she went disagreement on that oh i thought you were like no no actually she did that information she did she did and let's start over really good really good a date or a wait that's what the improv is gonna sound okay i'll let you lead yeah yeah however is best you explain the sandwich no it's you all right and action hey uh lisa hey thanks for coming on this date with me um what are you in the mood for i guess i'm in a mood for a sandwich but i can't read the menu here i can what does it say they have the chef special the grilled ham ham and cheese grilled oh that sounds good say more about that um it looks like it has um american cheese you know how americans are and uh and ham it's bologna and it's grilled it sounds good it does sound good well i think we should take two let's take two let's take two and then go to the camera and talk about right here right here yeah hey guys come down to mel's diner with the word the chef specials is the ham and cheese grilled sandwich only at mel's diner on sunset please come and you'll get a hot girl like me and it's not guaranteed no yeah i just think it's so crazy that you want to talk about this ham and cheese sandwich it's so crazy that you want to talk about this ham and cheese sandwich it's so crazy that you want to talk about this ham and cheese sandwich and you have nothing to say about it we asked you to say more and all you could say is it's ham it's cheese it's ham it's cheese with ham the ham is bologna ham isn't even ham the ham is bologna yeah yeah i think probably ham can be no bologna could be ham but ham's not always bologna i don't think ham is bologna what is bologna that's correct that's correct yeah what is bologna bologna is um it's like mortadella mortadella it's a mortadella right it's not a ham it's like a shit mix yeah yeah wow okay pork beef chicken turkey yeah bologna okay it was a bologna it was um ham it was ham honey ham it was honey ham oh that does sound good yeah honey ham yeah you guys ever like a little thin little wedge of apple or something in your oh my god you're you're speaking to the choir choir what you almost karate kid wow no don't really ring true to the karate kid himself i love that i love a little i love a little sweet i like sweet and salads too what do you think oh yes like a strawberry or like a little fig or like a little pecan yes a candied walnut craisin yeah a craisin yeah yeah do you remember that um salad in tulsa with ice cream what yeah we were in the salad cheese ice cream instead of the dressing it was ice cream and so they just put a scoop of it on and you know it's not just ice cream though because i went there a bunch of times when i was shooting that thing and uh i'm so braggy i shouldn't say what it is talk about it no um let me just rewind rewind rewind that's that place you're right ice cream salad but it's not regular ice cream it's sort of like a condensed feta cheese ice cream so it has you know and it's sweet it was foamy a little sweet but it was feta cheese it was really delicious foamy yeah yeah yeah what do you mean you don't like foamy i don't know foamy reminds me like you know when you're in like a really stinky lake or something there's like some foam that gets in there and you're like oh my god it's so good it's so good it's foamed up on the beach yeah oh yeah i don't like that i don't like that foam you're an ocean girl yeah when you stay away from the foam so you know there's still things you don't like about the ocean the foam the foam is the foam i don't know it's usually like left over yeah it's i associate it with dirty water except if it's like you know from a wave but that's different foam yeah you're right it's like gross debris would you drink like swallow ocean water uh i have a lot like an accident yeah and i've like had diarrhea oh from ocean water because you're doing like tricks and flips on a surfboard are you like flipping an ollie no but i died oh that's wow that's all foam baby oh i don't like that that's disgusting that is disgusting says some of it is toxic waste from sewage oh man don't go in there it's like sludgy jesus christ why are people enjoying it so much they think it's natural oh yeah they don't know any better do you guys ever go to a foam party i did once and i broke out in like the worst rash ever oh ever i don't think i've ever been to one what's a foam party i think it's for like hot girls in white outfits with puka shell necklaces in mexico with their bachelorette party exactly that's exactly what it is yeah off the top of my head i've never been invited yeah i mean i uh i don't really understand it though it just feels like a hair and makeup ruiner useless yeah it's is it supposed to be sexy i think so you're nodding you've been to a couple yeah i mean they usually do them at raves so what's the like why i think the biggest one is the edc foam party it's a bunch of people but what is it about the phone but is it like a sensory experience it's the foam and the neon lights and like the good dj and uh just everybody on ecstasy and like fucking molly and shit i i never done this yes i don't do molly you know sometimes you see a human being and you're like oh my god i don't know how did they survive this long yeah man you can't you ever say that you avoid well he hasn't been around for very long oh yeah yeah i used to have i used to have not in the industry yeah this is uh see jaime's party oh you guys yeah what after the show my show you went to the club i heard god that's the fucking driest foam party ever that sucks there's no foam she told me do you still do do you still go clubbing i went for new year's i went to the club oh you did but i with a bunch of girls or your husband just went with my husband yeah clubbing is a dying art form it needs to come back i'm glad you went it was fun i mean it's fun to go i i think the perfect combo is just go with one other person going with anywhere in a group is nightmare on elm street just got to be yeah i just you know it's so dark in there and so loud i just so scary right like haunted house yeah kind of like one yeah yeah do you like haunted houses you know i went i went on a date with a ghost no no and she brought you to the haunted house yeah i went on a date with a ghost you home? And she goes, no, she goes, it's the scariest haunted house on the West Coast. right I'm like alright let's go we spent some of VIP obviously you know what I mean and we went VIP haunted house what is that like a clear entrance nobody jumps out at you no no because there's so many people you know what I mean that you kind of go you know instead of with a big group you're just experiencing by yourself so you're on a Bobby what you don't like hugs and you're on a haunted house date with a woman yeah she's gonna want a hug yeah I held her hand but that's as far as you'll go nasty bitch when it comes to somebody I'm intimate with I hug I do all I caress all the whole thing but it takes a while yeah no it doesn't take a while yeah he hugs he's very like affectionate just when he wants to be affectionate like if you wanted affection and he wasn't in the mood you'd be rejected I was rejected this morning yeah remember I didn't even see you go in for one it's fucking crazy I literally it was just good to see you yeah and then there's Lisa Gilroy listen you said you walked into the room said Lisa girl I was sitting down I stood up with an open posture towards you and then you started walking away from you and then I chased you and I said come here you little rascal oh that's right you ran yeah yeah you didn't come here you little rascal I didn't you know um I apologize and next time in a social situation hey was he needy like if you if he if you didn't text him dude you just cut me off huh yeah but I want to know the answer to like if you didn't text him for like hours will he get mad or he will he like no like we send you a voice no yeah if he woke up and I wasn't at home it was that it was like where are you but it's mostly because he needed something and I no one was around to help but yeah I need a lot of things yeah he needs help hard yeah what do you need oh my god your butt wipe no I mean it's pretty close to that is this is bad why do you need your car well the last night I was like because I have a fridge in my room and last night I went to Jules I go how come my fucking fridge isn't stocked yeah it's difficult like that you would say that to a girlfriend oh yeah yeah so you you need your girlfriend to also be kind of like an assistant to you yes but also if he wanted like two days I'm just like video gameplay like you couldn't bother him well I mean I could I like to find myself with that can I yeah I'd let you give me a blowjob I was playing intimacy that's not what I was gonna say but I was like I'm just saying that you know me um when it you create a lot of memories with your husband of course yeah yeah and is he mindful about it yeah hey baby let's go create some memories he's always taking me on like a date like a special oh that's sweet that's so sweet yeah be very mean you know I'm smart enough to be really mean so you better be nice to me kind of thing yeah yeah that's the vibe yeah are you mean you think no no no yeah I think you're one of the sweetest people in the thing oh my god Bobby hug me so are you promoting it that you're working on it they tell us about tell me tell us everything well I have super troopers that's been announced oh that's three the movie great who directed um Jay Chandra I love Jay yeah yeah he's like you know we have a problem here with yet the Tiger Bear with Jay remember he flaked on us oh yeah what happened one day we were have Jay we're sitting in and and he calls me and he goes uh oh fuck I just completely forgot I was sleeping I'm like okay but that would be so you if it was Jay's podcast what do you think no no no no no no I was laughing for a second you know I mean yeah I know what you mean no what I'm saying is I've never I've always shown up I've never liked not gone except for when it's Michael Bay's house in his Thanksgiving yeah yeah yeah but I that was my only issue with that was that you just didn't yeah yeah you're right and I learned from that and I you know I mean I decided to oh so there's a lot of fear there I walked through some fear right yeah yeah but and I'm not mad at Jay I think he's a talent guy and he could he's welcome back anytime nice well really yeah let's reach out I mean because he's promoting yeah so you have that and then any TV stuff or yeah oh yeah and then I haven't I'm doing something on Apple TV also coming out and you don't have to tell us what it is but is it a series regular situation or yeah Wow is it your show no okay good never be yeah and you already shot it yeah that's amazing yeah what was that feeling like I guess it was the feeling was awesome we went we shot it in Austin so I got to spend a lot of time there in the city's great Wow and I went to the mothership yeah for the first time yeah see what all the hubbub was about yeah what do you think oh I thought it was some of it I was like oh no you know but then afterwards lots of people there knew me from podcasts I was also surprised by that yeah yeah there's the art that our ecosystem extends to Austin you know I mean hey very big word very cool awesome ecosystem I don't know what's going on that was a lot word and it was I don't know what's going on here I made going like what's you guys yeah explain to us what what yeah it's what ecosystem is Jesus Christ ecosystem ecosystem ecosystem system like a system of people and eco economy economy is going down we got to fix that no the ecosystem is like the nature and shit of course nature and shit yeah explain the water cycle really quick stay away from the phone fellas that's it okay the water cycle you know what I'm talking about yeah it rains mm-hmm people drink it and it goes back up then you piss it out and then piss it out it goes back up nice yeah that's it so um the show is it an ensemble show yes okay is it with Ben huh Ben you did a show with Ben right Ben Schwartz Oh Ben Schwartz yeah um no no I just did Tysa with with Ben but I've also done some dropout stuff with Ben so yeah our actually some dropout episodes are coming out okay cool like makes my what I'm curious about the show it's cool I'm curious about the show that where you ate the ice cream salad that you won't talk about oh very good so yeah so um shows coming out Apple will fit we don't know what it is but everyone will anticipate it yes it'll be good any movies have you done yeah I did a couple this year I did um you deserve each other it's like Megan Fahey and Penn Badgley whoa rom-com yeah I love her I'm excited yeah got to play Megan's sister wow so you're now going you were you're not going into Hollywood you're a Hollywood girl now I thought it well I thought it was until I realized everyone thought I was Nikki Glaser no but you're you're like now in it well I'm working you're working that's great yeah so in this environment it's so hard yeah yeah so give her a round of applause for that how you feeling I feel good yeah I feel lucky to be working I'm doing like you know I do little small roles here I think no one trusts me to like and I don't really want to be the lead of something because then you have to be like you have to say things yeah to say you have to be like well you know me I always do this with the company and by the end of the movie I need to do this you have to like say exposition yeah I don't think I don't ever believe me is saying yeah I like doing bit parts too yeah it's fun it's super fun yeah yeah but um but it's still fun because it's like you know you are um I mean me and Andrew talk about and we all talk about you you know me how just intrinsically funny you are well thank you you're a librarian and you're so kind and it's just like it couldn't happen to a nicer person you know thanks Bobby yeah yeah I'm being real about the cutest thing you've ever said no I mean I feel like a hug yeah it did yeah I do verbal hugs yeah nice scary sounds scary but he's giving me an oral hug no yeah yeah yeah and then do you so you don't ever want to do the Lisa Gilroy project I'm working on something that's like just hard comedy though like nothing like and like bit pieces kind of like sketchy kind of oh yeah yeah I mean that's another that's an art form that has kind of a little bit died huh yeah you don't see a lot I mean on TikTok you see people doing sketches but not like a sketch show like we used to be we used to have a lot yeah yeah why did it die do you think I don't know so sad Mr show key and peel yeah yeah you know kids in the hall we're had one Eliza Schlesinger had one yeah but but I don't know show I don't think sketch the show works like IP I've been asked like would you ever be interesting in doing your own sketch show I go I'm interested in doing an ensemble with super funny people you know I mean but it's like what would you call it Bobby in the wet gang no I would be like um I don't think I would call it my for my name Bobby in the belly button no I would I would like to be just a one of many of six people oh you want to be on friends and you want to be Chandler dude I would love to be on a friends yeah yeah NBC tried to do run friends was over tomorrow I told you that and they're like we're gonna recreate it but make it hipsters oh great funny right so the year after it got canceled I did a pilot called buds and it was like six hipsters three guys three girls living in Chicago who else was in it other comedians it was me or sorry adult comic entertainers yeah it was um what's her name um let me say it she's a friend of mine what the fuck what let me help you what does she look like what is she yeah describe Zoe Lister Jones yeah oh my God I'm seeing Zoe right after this you are yeah I said hi I will yeah yeah it was Zoe Lister Jones me Steve Renazizzi, Steve Howie, and me were the guys. Oh, wow. This is a wonderful cast. I can't believe this didn't get picked up. Yeah, it was us three as guys. And then I forgot who the other two girls was. But anyway, we did it. Obviously, it just didn't work. It was single camera. We're all also like in an indie band. You know how they try to change it to be more like emo and modern? You're in a band. That's fun, though, because you are a musician. That is true. That is true. What are all the instruments that you play? Piano, skin flute? Is there anything else? I'll be honest with you. If I put dedication into guitar, I think I'd be able to pull that off. But can you play any? I can play some chords, yeah. Okay. Yeah, I can play drums a little bit. Yeah. I think I'm kind of musically inclined. In fact, for my special, I do sing in it. You do? Yeah, I do it like a Broadway. Not Broadway, but. Broadway? Yeah. It's kind of Broadway. Yeah. You know, I vocalize and sing. I go into the audience, I sing. Wow. Like Adele. And so, do you ever sing on stage? Yes. Yeah. It's hard. Is it hard? Well, I only ever do it as like a joke, so then I don't find it hard, because I feel like if you're not trying to be good, it's actually quite easy. Oh, right, right, right. I've never tried to like earnestly sing on stage. I think that would be very scary. Yeah, yeah. Were you trying to sound good or were you trying to sound funny? I was trying to sound pretty good. Because in the first line, they were like, make it serious. Like, really be sincere. So, I had the mic, spotlight. Wow. Little dress. Yeah, little dress. And I looked up in the sky and I sang the first line. And you wrote a comedy song, but you sang it earnestly. It's not really a comedy song. I wouldn't say it was a comedy song. I think it's more sincere than comedy. Sincere with some humor. There's some humor in it. Yeah, yeah. And it's your opening bit? No, it's at the end when I close. Aw. Yeah, I do a little song. Nikki Glaser ended hers. That's the other thing with the song, too, right? That she made? Did she? That's right, yeah. So, it would be cool if next time you did something a bit more original. You son of a bitch. You dirty son of a bitch. No, yeah, but you don't do stand-up, right? Yeah, I do a little. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But one day you'll do one. One day I will what? Do a special? Yeah. You think so? It might take me 30 years to build up an hour. I know. But would you? I mean, I think it would be great if you did one. But does it have to have, like, a through line? No. Was yours just, like, jokes? You didn't have, like, an overarching theme? You know, my style is, oh, it's kind of old school in terms of, like, joke, joke, joke, joke, joke. And sometimes I'll, like, go, I'm talking about this and this, and then, like, try to, like, fuse it with a, you know what I mean, with, like, a connector. But now I'm like, fuck it, I don't even care. I think you're not giving yourself enough credit. I think there is an overarching theme. Which is what? Which is your family, your life, and a lot of your personal experiences. Like, which is your dad, your mom. Like, that is most of your jokes. All the stuff that makes you unique, you know? You have a mom, you have a dad, you have a family, you have a past. You have some memories. Did you not think about it? No, you're not giving yourself credit. It's a very cohesive special. Yeah, I think so, too. It does? Yeah. Oh. Well, I'm not giving myself credit. Yeah. Give yourself credit right now. I'm going to give myself credit right now. Yeah, it's cohesive. Yeah, yeah. Bobby, what would your life be like if you didn't have this gorgeous room of people to ask questions to? I wouldn't, honestly, I would probably just be in some dark room in Valencia. Ooh. Valencia. I love Valencia. Valencia. Yeah, Valencia. Wow. Oh, close to Magic Mountain. Yeah, Valencia. Oh, I thought this was a made-up place. It sounds like one of those funny fairy book videos. And you hear colossus in the background. Wait, do you know that they're shutting down? I know they are. It's sad. Yeah. We should all go before they shut down. I'm going to get Bell's Palsy on the other side. No, thank you. Okay. Yeah. All right. Does Bell's Palsy come from having too much fun? I think so. Clowns get it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But you think a roller coaster would really give it to you? I don't know. I feel like it would, like, worsen, you know, just the speed. Oh, right. Yeah. I don't think that's how it works. Watch. Really? Okay, I'll go. I'll go. I'll spin around. Stuck up, like. Do you do roller coasters? Yeah, I love roller coasters. Me too. Except for some things when you get older are, like, weird. Like, I used to love jumping on trampolines, and now I'm like, oh, if you have a tampon, it'll simply shoot out. Some things are just for kids. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I don't really know. I mean, I'd like to go on a roller coaster. I haven't been on one in a while, and I'm kind of worried something bad might happen to me. It's fun. It's fun. But when you see, God, when, online, when a roller coaster is something, there's, like, a bad asterisk happen. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That happened in my town, where I'm from. The roller coaster came detached, and it flew into a crowd of people, and it killed the people on it, and the people in the crowd. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. In my town, in my mall. Oh, my God. Why are you smiling? It's funny. It's Canadian. No, it's not funny. Yeah, yeah. It was in Canada? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. West Edmonton Mall. It's the biggest mall in Canada. What's this? Oh, this is the one I was talking about. Look at this one. Oh, this is bad. Look at this one. Have you seen this one? I thought it was AI at first, but it was real. I don't like crash tests, though. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Did you see the guy fling? Fall, yes. Yeah. What? They're about to open the Fast and the Furious ride at the Universal Studios. I'm not going on that test. Oh, were they asking you to test it? They're asking people to come test it out. Yeah. I'm not. For safety, or for just, like, is it good? Safety. Damn. I'm not signing up for that. No, they're not testing it for safety. You know, they put, like, crash test numbers. They would never use a gorgeous human boy for that. Thank you. Well, you already did your special. Are you going to do more of your own things? Yeah. What is it? Like a scripted series? Yeah, I have, yeah. Bobby's World? That's a good name for it. That's never been used. Yeah. I have some things in the pipeline, but, you know, at the end of the day, especially this weekend, I was driving home yesterday, and I was like, golly, I have everything I want. There's nothing more. Really, I'm being real. I achieved everything I ever wanted to achieve, and I'm just super in gratitude. Also, people around me, I mean, Gilbert, you were so emotional at your speech last night. You did it Saturday night. And you were so helpful. Even you, Alex. Even you. And you, Scarecrow. And you, Tiddy. Yeah, yeah. George, you were there. But, yeah. Yeah. My high mage. High mage there. He was eating so many sandwiches, dude. You were eating all the sandwiches, and then all of a sudden, you were eating Crustables. Like, where did you find them? How many Crustables did you eat? Crustables. Aren't they called Uncrustables? It's Uncrustables. I'm like, is there a version of the sandwich where it's just a crust in a Ziploc bag? It's the shittiest thing. That's how they make Uncrustables. He eats all the crust. Yeah. I love Uncrustables. I ate like four or five the whole weekend. Yeah. And then shut out Kalilah really quick. She was on the phone. You can leave me out of it. That's okay. I was on the phone. You saved my life many times this weekend. Ten times. Ten times this weekend, and I wouldn't be able to pull it off. And Lisa, I'm just so happy that you did our podcast again, and why don't we give her a round of applause right now? Wow. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Thank you for having me.