Lil Q On Dre London, FreeBand LilSteve, "Da F***" Adlib, Memphis Accent, Basketball (Full Interview)

now at this point what genre of music do you consider yourself I consider myself as just the creative like I'm just creative like I'm a creator like I sing in our rap so if you want to say I'm R&B cool you want to say I'm a rapper that's cool too but I feel like I'm R&B rapper in a little pop now when it comes to R&B when it comes to rap if there was a circle chart of 100% what percentage would you say is one of each unless it's 50 50 right down the middle for you yeah it's right down the middle for me now when you do rap on that side of things what is your opinion of adlibs when it comes to that particular genre there adlibs on a song what's your opinion I love adlibs like I feel like that that it heighten me up like you know I'm saying I go in I do a double do my first take and then I'd be like okay I'm ready for the adlib now do you have a strategy when you implement adlibs in a song no I just find a pocket so it's basically like I find a pocket and when I find a pocket I don't put it for every little thing but when I find a pocket in my song like I'd be like whoo hi now are those two separate adlibs for you or do you do them as one signature adlib or one entire adlib together I think my signature adlib when I rap it is doful yeah and what's the meaning behind that when you implement that that's just me like yeah to me me like yes if I say hard as well I'm like doful this adlib now were you the first recording artist to ever do this adlib in particular here I think I am I ain't heard and when you came up with this adlib do you recall how that started for you maybe what song or when in your career you started using that yeah I used to do these freestyle call like going in going in to going in three and that's that's where it started and I just put it I used to just put it in on pockets now what's been the reaction to this signature adlib of yours at this point the foot like do people say this back to you when they see you in person do they say this to you on social media and comments so on and so forth oh no but my mom make jokes about it like to this day like when I'm still making jokes about like you look her sitting on your adlib that's just I don't know why now have you heard any other artist copy or steal this adlib of yours no not yet just curious there and what about when it comes to collaborations when it comes to collaborating with other recording artists have you ever added your adlibs to another artist verse on the same song now not just merely introducing yourself like you're about to be on the track but like have you sprinkled your adlibs throughout another artist verse on the same song no I just put it put it on my mom what is your opinion of that there are some artists that do do that I feel like that's not that's not what you're supposed to do because if you know artist on the song you don't need to be like trying to be all in I feel like that's her lane so you stand your lane she's saying hi lane and then you know if it's a singer song I feel like it's different because you harm you're doing harmonies you know I'm saying so it'd be it's only better but like I feel like if it's a rap song I let her do her own adlibs and you know if we got a course together then we come in together like that but other than that I ain't on nobody adlibs now what about this this is a slight twist and I feel like based upon your previous answer there I may know your answer to this next question but I'm still going to ask you this anyways just in case you have a different response now again you mentioned that you know there's sometimes if it's singing involved you may sing or harmonize or whatever however way you described it behind another person's a verse on a song but on the rap side of things what are your thoughts on songs with another artist adlibs but no hook or verse from them on that song it's just their adlibs sprinkled throughout the entire song I think I still feel the same way if it's not harmonies that if it's not harmonies I feel the same way I feel the same way yeah and ask you a variety of questions here on the subject of adlibs is there anything else you want to mention in regards to that no so just curious there so it sounds like just for clarification maybe if there was some singing from you or some harmonizing you may do that behind if even in the case of a rap song you may do that if it's like singing or harmonizing that could be throughout a track without a verse or a hook from you but if it's just strictly rap you feel like that wouldn't be something you would be open to thank you now have you been asked to do that just harmonize or add your vocals singing wise to a song in the background but no hook or verse from you yes and and is that music publicly available is that something that's out around here it's unreleased but it's definitely like things like that where I'm down to do because like I said people love background and I feel like when you when you sing in a song like the bigger the background the bigger the song be or you know I'm saying it makes it bigger like I love big background song like I love big songs like songs that make you like it when you hear it make you feel like it's big you know I'm saying so for you when it comes to a request such as that nature you don't feel disrespected or like thank you just want me on the background vocals uh no hook or verse from me or sometimes I don't feel disrespected but you know it depends on who it is and if I know the situation and you know got you now even though this material is unreleased how many times have you done this so far I didn't did it like a couple times like three or four times on different people record for sure got you now you've been asked to do this but do you see yourself in the future of any songs of yours or maybe would you be open to it of having others on the background background wise background vocals background singing yeah I think I will because I look like I say I love that I love harmonizing like I like that so I think I will come open to that it's a good question now care to share your race ethnicity or nationality I'm actually Black African American but I don't know my ethnicity like I don't know like I don't know my background and I didn't want to take a test to see like what I was mixed with because like I feel like I'm something because I like to make it fool so I feel like since I like to make it fool like I may be Jamaican now when it comes to languages what is the main language you speak at this point English and be that as a may do you speak any other languages aside from English and how did you pick up that knowledge there I went to Paris for like two months and I learned like four phrases so that's good and what was the reasoning for the Paris trip I went for a Paris fashion week and I shot video I shot a video that's actually I went to London so I went from Paris two months and then I went to London for like three weeks and then I shot a video at the Mandrake which is going to be released soon park car so um yeah so I was just going out there to work and stuff like what produces studio time and just get a new whip of Paris you know now be that as it may have you ever took a foreign language class in school perhaps I took Spanish but I couldn't like I couldn't do it like I couldn't I couldn't pick up I couldn't pick up and how many years of that class did you get under your belt back in those days like literally probably three months after that I went to my council I'm like I need to move I need to go to the gym now when it came to that foreign language class was that a requirement for you or an elective back then it was a requirement yep and just for further clarification the Spanish language was the requirement or just a foreign language class in particular just a class so we only had Spanish we have no other foreign classes so we only had Spanish so that that was like a big thing in school like that you had to take that class like at least three months to even move to another one and just curious here did you take that class series did you try to learn the language did you try to give it on a shot back then I tried but it wasn't it wasn't given I did try it wasn't clicking like Spanish in my brain don't click now when it comes to your education zooming out how far did you end up getting just with that um like in my whole life yes I graduated 12th grade I did a 10 college but I graduated with a 4.3 GPA and after school I signed the management deal so I didn't go to college but I'm definitely going to go back so you know and who did you end up signing with I signed with Dray London management yep 2023 and how did that opportunity come to be it can Because I had met this guy named, I'm just gonna say a fake name, his name was frog. And I met this guy named frog and basically frog told me he knew Dre and I was like, okay, that's cool at the time I didn't know who Dre was. So I was still learning, I was young and stuff like that. So I go home and stuff my mom stuff. Because the guy frog was a promoter and he always said like, oh, I wanna do this and I wanna do that. But you know, he never really, really did it. So fast forward, the guy was like speaking with me and he was like every day speaking with me. So I saved up my money to go on the radar. And I was like, when I go to LA, we can link up then. I was like, let's link up when I get to LA. So we linked up in LA and my mom was with me, of course. And we had a talk and this and that and he was like, oh my God, Dre hit me back, Dre hit me back. And I'm like, he wanted me to and this and that, this and that, this and that. And I'm telling him like, okay, that's fine, but I gotta go back to Memphis. So we fly back to Memphis and then I fly back to LA and then I have the meeting with Dre. And so happened, Dre loved my music, he loved my thing, get my rapping and he offered me a contract. And then probably like months later, we got to work, you know, we got to work. He put me in the studio with me to leave and that's how I went, you know. Now when it comes to him, what's it like really working with Dre? Working with Dre and London, I don't say it's like, it's like dad daughter, you know what I'm saying? It's like, it's like, if he was my dad for real, because it's like, he ain't, he don't buy his tongue and he hard on you for sure, you know what I'm saying, but at the end of the day, I know it's tough love. So it's like, you know, he hard on you. So it'd be tough when I be like, damn, but then it'd be like, I understand. So it'd be like one of them motherfuckers where you just gotta be like, man, you want somebody to be on your ass like that? Cause you know what I'm saying? Cause I don't know, some people be pushing around, like you know what I'm saying? And that's something people don't, people don't want from definitely not from a manager. And you want somebody who's gonna actually believe in you a little bit more than you. Nobody gonna believe in you more than you, but at least somebody who believe in you enough that you feel like they believe in you, you know what I'm saying? So. Now what about when you two are in the studio together? What's a studio session like when you both are present? It's more so like, see Dre don't, Dre don't like sitting in the studio. He doesn't like sitting in the studio, but when we do have them studio sessions, we probably only have like a three together, you know what I'm saying? But he don't like sitting in the studio, but I can say him being in the studio, it makes me a little nervous for real. On the fact that I feel like he's like going to like critic, critic or like do something like that cause he's my manager. So it's like, you get to the point when you like damn that, you know, I might get told like, hey, cut that shit off or like, you know what I'm saying? So you'd be trying to like do your best for me, you know, in the studio, but even when he's not in the studio, I still do my best, but it's like, you know, when he come in or whatever, it's like, you know, how you used to be at school and the fucking the teacher come in and shit, you like, okay, let me straighten that, let me get my best. So that's basically how it is, you know what I'm saying? So yeah, now out of all of his characteristics, what do you enjoy the most about him? Um, I think of the jokes, like he's from London and got to make an accent accent though, so he got like funny ass jokes, like he's funny and shit, yeah, he's funny and shit. And just to be fair, on the opposite end of the spectrum, what's the characteristic of his, you can't stand. One I can't stand is, um, something that bugs you, bothers you, gets under your skin, perhaps, when he think, um, when he think I'm like too nice, like when he think I'm too nice, it bugs me cause I'm like, I'm not even nice, but sometimes I can't be nice, but like, I'm not nice though, like, you know what I'm saying, but. It bugs the shit out of me when he like be telling me like, you got to, you got to act like a artist, you got to act like who you are, you got to act like that, but sometimes I'd be like, that should be bugging me because like I do, but it's just like certain times, but I know you got to do it all the time, but it's cool, but yeah, that's one I hate, that's one I hate for sure. No, does he know that he's going to find out. Now, okay, ask you a lot of questions about him, just a few more here. What's the best advice since 2023 that you received from him or most important thing you learned being around him so far. One, this is not a thought, this is not a thought business, can't always say I thought I thought I thought, I'm like that, and another one was, another advice that he didn't gave me multiple times is, um, I say like, he said, he said a lot of different things, so it's like I'm trying to do the best one, but I know the one about the thought process, he said about the thought business, and then another one is always, um, he gave me good advice on like my brand and stuff like he always told me like to take things slow, like, you know, saying like for my business, my business side, I saw the music, like, you know, um, give me a good advice about that a lot of it, um, even like by my friends and things like that, he said me different things about that, like, you know, friends come and go, you know, at the top, it get lonely, so he gave me good advice for different things, so I can't even really just give you like one good quote, because it's like different, different size of everything, you know what I'm saying. And curious here, you know, you're not the first artist he's ever managed, he does have a high end list of artists that he works with, one of them being post Malone, is that intimidating, going into management with him, knowing that, hey, this dude is already managing someone of that stature. It wasn't intimidating, but it was like, damn, you know what I'm saying, it was more so when I first found out, like I said in the beginning, I didn't know who he was, and when I went to the meeting, I actually saw, and I talked to him, and got to know him, and years went by, um, it's not the fact that I was intimidated, it was more so like, I was like, damn, you know what I'm saying. He didn't have to sign me, you know what I'm saying, he already did it twice or at one time, and I already had a, like, one of the biggest artists in the world. So it was like in my eyes, I was just thinking like I was blessed, I didn't, I wasn't intimidated about anything because like at the end of the day, I know who I am, and I know what I'm going to be, and who I am going to be, I got high confidence in myself. And, you know, I'm saying, I was most motivated, like I was like, okay, damn, somebody already on the team, he already has somebody, like, he did this for them, like, you know what I'm saying, he blew them up, got to where it needs to be. Okay, it's my time to step in, I'm a female, let's do it, you know what I'm saying. Were you the first female he managed? Uh, I think I was, I was the first one he really managed, so he did sign another girl, but something happened, um, and I don't know about that. But like, I think I was the first one to like really, like, yeah, I was the first female, I feel like I was the first female. So I was just saying it, yeah. So just for extra clarification here, when you find out about his rolodex of other recording artists or other people that he's managing at the time, like a post malone, you find out after you sign already, or you find this out before you end up sign. See, I found out before I sign because I did my research, I did my research, and then like, when we went to his, uh, warehouse, or whatever, you know, his compound, it was like, place all over the wall of, you know, a post and stuff. So I definitely, um, yeah, I definitely was like, you know, damn, like, you know, I was like, like I said, I was like, damn, I can't really say anything, you know what I'm saying. But it definitely gets so prone to be like, whoa, like, you know what I'm saying? Like, you know, sometimes you still be like, damn, you know, you just, I felt like I was just blessed, you know what I'm saying? I was fresh out of high school, and I was going to college, but then, you know, I had a management deal, so I just said, you know, I took it, you know what I'm saying? So just for clarification again, uh, you were going to go to college, like that was a thought, uh, after high school was over or you had something in the works already, like a scholarship academically or athletically or? Yeah, I had two scholarships. I had one with academics and I had one, I have a scholarship for basketball. And, um, I didn't take the basketball scholarship because it wasn't for right. And it was so far from home. And then the academic was more so close, but I was always told my mom, like, well, mom, like, if I have a management deal, because I definitely, you know, had other people trying to sign me and stuff like that. But my mom was like, no, no, no, no, no, and then so fast forward, I just felt like I told my mom, like if I don't have a management deal or like, you know, a deal label deal, anything, I'm going to take my academic. But I ended up having a management deal, like not right after school, but probably like right when college season was going to start. And you know, it was just amazing. out of time that the contract was okay. It was good for what we was looking for. So it made sense at the time. But I definitely will go back to school. Like, you know, definitely want to go back to school. I encourage all kids to go back to school and get your degree. And I'm definitely going to go back to just get it for my mom, you know, saying like, I'm definitely going to get that degree for my mom. But show. - Was it a certain degree you had in mind already? - I wanted the business degree. I wanted my degree in business. And if it wasn't in business, it was going to be a fanat, so. - Now, curious here, when it comes to post malone, just with your time being under this management umbrella, this company, this brand, so on and so forth, have you two had a chance to link yet? - No, we didn't. We never linked. We never linked, yeah. - And why not, just curious? - I don't know. - Is it something you asked you inquired about? Hey. - I never asked, I think around at the time, when around the tour, whatever, I had just signed, so I was in LA, I was going really, I think Drake was traveling still and going to the West Coast. So I didn't like, I think I never like, yeah, I never linked with him in person, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, definitely. - You're talking about post? - Yeah, post. - Okay, what is it on your bucket list? Is it something you want to do? - It's something I'm definitely down to do, like to get in the studio with him and link with him. And just even just, you know, I'm saying, take a picture with him and something like that. Yeah, I'm definitely down for that, for sure. - But nothing that's been talked about? - Um, not in the work. - And when it comes to your mom, what's her thoughts on the fact that you put a higher education on the back burner and went with this option here, with the management and music and went that route? - See, my mom was my biggest supporter so through this whole journey. So she always was like, you know what I'm saying? Whatever I want to do, she with it, you know what I'm saying? But my mom wasn't gonna dump me neither. And she made sure, like, I made good decisions, like throughout my whole high school journey and like doing music, doing business, doing shows and listening to that. And so she, she, she kept me level headed 'cause there was a lot of times where I was just about the sign just anything. Must've got me a dollar, I was about the sign. I ain't get full. But it gets up on what you need, somebody like your mom or needs, somebody like your uncle or brother, something like that to just make sure you level headed and you know a little bit about the building. Yeah. - And how far did you end up getting with basketball? It stopped your 12th grade year? - Yeah, it stopped at my 12th grade year. And I was sad about that 'cause like, I played basketball as much as I wrapped. So it's like, there was like one of my two talents where I both, I was good at both, you know what I'm saying? I was in high school performing at my halftime, playing in my game, coming out for home, coming clean. Like performing at my own games, I played AAU. I traveled, I played basketball. I hit 45 points in one game, my 12th grade year. I gave back to my school. I gave them $1,400 for basketball uniforms and everything like that. So I love basketball. I love basketball, you know what I'm saying? So I'm about to like start playing like just on the side. Like maybe I'm gonna start going to open gyms and getting on the, getting on the women's team or whatever. But I definitely want to start just doing it just as a hobby. But I want to go back to school for it. I don't think I want to do all that. I ain't trying to go to the women's NBA and then like that. But I definitely want to make it a hobby, you know, for me just to keep me in shape. And like just to keep doing what both of I love to do and just turning into a hobby. You know, I ain't had to stop doing it. I should have just turned into a hobby. - What was the name of the high school? - Kirby High School, yeah. - Now because you played for a variety of teams and leagues and things of that nature, generally speaking, what was the main position you played? - Poin God and Schoen God. I had two, I had two roles. So I was a Poin God, bringing the ball up and I was a Schoen God, yeah. - And was it 50/50 during your time with basketball? Or was it more the other position versus? - I feel like it was more, it was more a Schoen God than Poin God. And then Poin God came in like 11 grade and 12 grade because like I had to step up, I had to, 'cause at first I couldn't dribble my left hand. So by 11 grade and 12 grade, I was dribbling and hand layups with it. But it took me a long time, like my left hand couldn't do a layup into the middle of 10 grade. So yeah, I got better and better. But I couldn't do no on my left hand at first. So yeah, I was just a Schoen God. - So a rough estimate here, if there was a circle chart again of 100%, what percentage would you say? Poin God versus Schoen God. - Okay, I say Schoen God, I was about. - Rough, rough estimate. - 96%. I won 100%, that's real. And Poin God, I was about 75%. But I was decent enough to control the board. You know what I'm saying? One nobody's still in my balls and I'm like that, but I want the cross of a king or the cross of a queen, but I got the ball where I need to go, you know? - And I think we need to fix those percentages, 'cause you said 96% and then you said 75%. So was it 96% and 4% or was it 75% and 25%? - I think it was like how I said it, 'cause I put it on different brackets. I want to put it together, 'cause like, if I put it together, then it's like, it's not gonna be, it's not gonna way off of real, because I wasn't 25% Poin God. I was about 75%, but also I was 96% Schoen God, like, there's them in the numbers, like, that's unnecessary. - And what about Jersey number? Did you have the main Jersey number back then? - Number three, so that's our number three. So if you've number three, you've loaded, 'cause I was number three, but my entire basketball career, I never switched numbers. - And was that a number you were given or a number you requested from the very beginning? - Nah, that's the number. That's the number I requested. Nobody can have three, I'm three out of the way. What? - And what was the meaning behind that request? Why three? - It's just like a Memphis thing, where I'm from, I'm from the three, like I'm from third world, so that's where I'm from. So it's like, that's the three, you know what I'm saying? So I always, you know, my family, everybody know, it's the three, we're from the three. So that's what I want, I want my Jersey number to be three. Work it in. - And we'll talk about Memphis a little bit further in this conversation, but still wrapping up the questions here about the sport of basketball. Now, did you have the opportunity to play with or compete against anybody that ended up becoming well-known or famous themselves? - No, I never played against a female that was like, no, no, no, it didn't really record. Just even blew up and basketball, no, I never played with one. - What about on the academic side of things? Again, did you have any classmates or schoolmates? And this can be high school, middle school, elementary, so on and so forth, that ended up becoming well-known or famous themselves. - No, not at my school. I feel like they was already out of school when I met them, but nobody in my class or in the class above me or even in my high school period, that I know that blew up or got famous, like, no, I don't. - So for lack of better phrase or example, just you at this point. - Yes, just me at this point. - Now, because you were doing both music and basketball, we're either of these, a dream for you back then. - Mervick always been a dream for me. Like, that, that, that, been my dream since I was 19 years old. I picked up basketball when I started being a tomboy. So my brother used to be telling me to come outside with them and I used to be with my brothers all the time. And I used to go play basketball. They taught me how to play basketball and stuff like that. And I used to play basketball like a lot. So I got good at it. And I got on my first team in sixth grade. And every since then, I was playing. Like I was playing from sixth grade to 12 grade. So I was playing for a long time through the summer too. Like I had AAU, I was gonna AAU, I was gonna everything to just get better. And that's what I used to like doing. - Now, for you. - But it was never, it was never a dream. It was, basketball wasn't a dream. Basketball wasn't a dream. - Now just curious here, were you a girly girl first and then got into being a tomboy or you were a tomboy first and then maybe more girly girl now? Like, with this coat that you have on your and this interview and so on and so forth. - Yeah, I was more so a tomboy first than then. I just got girly probably like my, when I turned like 18, 17, I just became this, started wearing look colors and just filling myself a little bit more. But yeah, when I was younger, like middle school, I was a tomboy. Like they could have paid me to wear certain stuff and do certain stuff 'cause I just, this is what I like, you know what I'm saying? - And siblings, how many siblings did you end up having? - I have four siblings, La Crestella, Steven, La Calvin, and Daria. I'm the fourth to last, so I have a little sister and my oldest brother. Featherless Steve and past the way 2023. - And all of these siblings here, same mother and father as you, or? - No, we all got different, different dad. - So for you, when it would be growing up, how many of these siblings would you have under one roof at a given time? - Oh, all five of us, so we got it, we grew up together. - Yep. - And what was that position like for you, being the fourth there towards the bottom of the ladder? - I feel like it was, to me, it was, it was very much grown, like I was around a strong, a strong loving thing we had going on, you know what I'm saying? Like, there's a lot of us, but my mom made it work, and you know, it could have been worse than, you know what I'm saying? So a lot of stuff we ain't go out. My mom has sacrificed a lot to make sure we didn't go without on a lot of things, you know what I'm saying? - And what did you take away from that position there? What was, well, before I even ask you this, let me back up a little bit, I'm going a little ahead of myself. Would you say that was an easy or hard position, being the fourth on the ladder? - I'd say it was a, it was a hard because like, when you like the fourth or you about the third child, and I know people probably are going to relate to this, when you about the third or fourth child, sometimes the emotional support don't be as strong when the first two, when your mom got a lot of kids, so you don't get the same emotional support system where it's like when you really need it. So back in middle, back in elementary school, we've been talking about middle school in high school this whole time, but in elementary school, I got bullied. And I got bullied on fourth grade and fifth grade. And when I had God bullied, I used to come home and tell my mom and stuff and things like that in that nature. And my mom never believed me. So it was times where it was hard for me to even just speak with her about anything because the emotional system was in third, like we didn't have that. So my mom would try to teach us to have this shield and defend and fight, but that wasn't at the time and elementary, that wasn't who I was. I was still learning myself. And like I said, I come from a loving home, so I wasn't used to nobody not liking me because of my skin complexion or how small I am. I'm not used to that. So it was different. And I was coming home telling my mom and things like that in that nature. But how to have different kids. Like I said, I always say parents are octopus. They have umbs in different places. Definitely when they have a lot of kids. And they umbs being in different places. So it's like they can't be there sometimes when you want them to be there. But when you get older, you understand that your mom would try her best though. Like if she could, I feel like she would. It just was so much. Life's getting cut out of this and that, this and that. And then she got four or five kids. No father figure. No body to help doing anything on her own. So it's like, you got to understand that. That little matter won't that big to her at the time. She got bigger shit to think about. And when you're going to sleep tonight, what we going to eat tonight, you know, she got other shit on her mind. Where it's like when you get older, you have to respect it. You got to. So that's basically that. And what do you think's the biggest lesson you learned? Having that position or holding that position on the ladder there? The biggest, the biggest, that, that, that was probably the biggest thing I learned. Like you just got to, you got to understand. You got to understand. I know when you young, you don't really understand. So you have to understand that. Your parents do everything they can to just do. And it's no booklet. It's no booklet on this mom of that shit. So you know what I'm saying? Just be thankful. You got somebody even trying to be a mom. I'm trying to be a dad because I know people who don't even have a mom and I know people who have a mom and mom that stop trying to be a mom. So you have to just, you got to respect it and you got to understand. So that's it. Now anyone else do music in your family aside yourself when it comes to your siblings or other family members? I'm for a generation. Yeah, for a generation to even get this far. And what's been the reaction from others to this music career choice for you? It's really been good. I just had an auntie who said, fuck me. Because I didn't want to paint for a funeral. But that's the only shit that I didn't have. But every day, everybody else pretty much support me very well. They share my music. You know, it's solid. What's the status between you and this family member at this point? It's cool. I love her. She's old, and I'm saying she's sick. It's old. I can't hold it against her. And I can't be mad at that because I wasn't paying for the shit. And I know it's a note, and that's it. And do you want to share why you wouldn't? Because when my brother died, nobody gave my mama shit. Nobody gave my mama a no family member gave my mama a pen of food. So it's like, don't come to me asking me to pay for no funeral. It's not happening. Now this brother, you mentioned him a couple of times during this conversation. But for those that have heard you speak about him, or maybe said his name, but never had a chance to meet him from your POV. What was he really like? Steve, Steve was like-- I just say Steve was different. Steve was somebody-- you can talk to him and call and laugh, drink with. He definitely believed in whatever the fuck you got going on. He's going to be your biggest supporter. Steve was funny, he was outgoing. He was a great big brother to me, and my siblings. Steve was just-- Steve was Steve, you know what I'm saying? Like, you know what I'm saying? I love all my siblings, but me and him had a bun where it was so tight, when he died, I felt like I died too. Like, that is-- like, I feel like I wasn't even breathing. I didn't even think I was still laying up waking up. I thought I had died too. Like, I thought that's just what it was. Like, we both died. Like, that's what I thought. And speaking of his passing, do you remember the last communication you had with him before he passed? Yeah, the last communication I had with him, it wasn't good. I had left money at home. Couple thousand. My brother was on drugs. He took some money from me. And I went live, got on social media, badged him. And I was like, saying all type of hurt for that shit. Hope your eyes catch you. I was saying all type of shit, like-- and five days later, we didn't talk-- we didn't talk. So we didn't talk none of these days. So five days, these whole five days, he was calling me. He was texting me, he was like, come see me, come back home, come back home, I won't go home. And then, at five days, he passed away, got killed. He went on a robbery, and he got killed. I felt guilty for so long that it made me feel like you have to watch what you say. The tongue is powerful. Money is evil, because the way money changed, that small little thousands had changed me, made me funny. It made me different. And seeing my brother, seeing me pull up to that scene, and seeing my brother like that, and seeing my brother clean down at the moor, it fucked me up. It took something out of me that I ain't going to never get back, and I ain't going to never have. But all I can say is, I'll never go live about my people, my siblings again, because that pain was like pain, I don't ever want an experience in life again. I don't want to lose another sibling, another shit. Once a 30 people, 30 days, 30 didn't work. I got out of it, I was done with it. Just started putting in my reason. Took me a long time to even get online and speak about it or do anything like that. but it hurt bad because, like, It make you feel guilty, like when you feel guilty so bad, like you feel like it's your fault and this isn't it. It make you feel like, like, I don't know, make you feel like this ain't where you post to be. So a lot of times I was about to 2023. I had just got signed, my brother died. Like it was so many damn mountains and ups and downs, where it's like my auntie said, fuck me. And I was going through so much shit in 2023 that I was about to give up. Like I was about to say, like fuck all that shit. I was like, God doing this shit for a reason. But then I'm like, it can't be for a reason because like, I gotta keep going. Like I gotta keep going. And I feel like everyone from my other siblings and my mom and stuff, I probably will never keep going. So you got to have somebody that's going to keep you with every head because they watch me, they watch me like drown in like guilt. Like I drowned in it and I said it and I didn't want to do none for days and I was sick and just a lot of shit. Like, you know, yeah. - Well, how'd you get back up to get to the point where you're out to even do an interview to even discuss it and talk about it and continue on? - I got back up through music. Like it really stemmed me up for real. But I just started like really finding myself. So I started saying like, you know where? I'm gonna sing and I'm gonna rap because I mean, my first like singing a rap song and you know, I'm good at singing. And my brother always told me that, you know what I'm saying? But I always wanted to be, I'm just this rapper. Like I wanted to always be a rapper. But it's like nine times for me to like be who I want to be. Like I want to be a rapper because everybody else is a rapper. Like I can sing and I can rap. So let me just be creative now. And it's like, I'm getting some point where I'm just doing what's best for me. I'm doing what's best for me and whatever. Whatever make me happy, that's what I'm doing. And that's it. That's it. - Now, when you said what you said on social media and things of that nature, did your brother see that? Did he hear that? Did he know about that when he tried to contact you in those days? - Yeah. He was like cursing me back out and stuff. He was saying like, he got to come and like slap me and stuff and things in that nature. But I just wish I would have went home. You know, I wish I would have came when he told me to. I wish I would have answered them calls. He was calling me and leaving. What's man? I just wish I would have answered, you know? 'Cause like, who knew like there was a less, like there was a less, nobody knew that. Like I didn't know that. I was just being a bitch. Like I was being a brat. Like that's unease. You know that's some shit you can't never get back from. Money you can get back. And I put that shit in my son. Like, money you can get back and money is super evil. Like that shit. That shit. Super evil, like that shit is on a different level for real. I need some tissue. - It's right there to the side of you there. - Yeah. - Take your time. - It's definitely evil. - What was the name of this song that you're referencing where you talk about these things? - I dropped memories, it's called Memories. And after that, I dropped humble. And recently I'm about to drop something in some bottom. And stuff like that. But I dropped the free records about them stating my feelings and how I felt and my pain. So I did drop a couple records about it. And, you know, that's just my legacy right now. That's my motivation and that's just who I do it for. Like because it's crazy how the person you started with. Like the one person who was walking to the studio with you and make us you get to the studio. The one person you was rapping to in the garage. You hit your first with a weed and smoke you. Got your first shot when you got to 18 with and stuff. Not here to celebrate when I went to the VMAs and I did all these other things. And it's like, my brother was supposed to be there, you know what I'm saying? Like, but it's like, it's crazy to me. Like, you know, but I feel like God taking he, he taking he give. And I love, like, I don't never question God ever. So it's like, everything happened for a reason. And like, now to this day, I know it's not my fault. And I know, like, I'm a guilt survivor. And that's it, you know what I'm saying? What's been the reaction from like your mother or your other siblings to all this? My mom first found out my mom was passed out. My siblings found out my brother looked at me, um, I'm sorry. Take your time. Yeah, these tears. OK. My brother looked at me, um, he basically, um, he'd like to tell a person he don't talk about it. So, um, to get him to even speak about it, he won't speak about it. He won't speak about it. I mean, but it comes out, you know, it comes out when he angry or he gets upset and, you know, maybe if I say the wrong thing to him, it'll trigger. But my brother too much, he, he'd keep everything personal. So, you know, I try to check up on him most as I can, but it's like, he, he want to, he don't want to talk about it. My brother's like type person, he tried to forget to not remember. And that's a big quote that I always say. They're saying with me, I tried to forget to not, like, that's what really picked me up, tried to forget to not remember. Like, that's the best quote you can really put it like, you have to forget to not remember. And, and it's not even a bad thing, it's just like, when they come up, you have to forget it. So, you won't remember the, the sequence, the, the things that happen, the scenes and my older sister, la Christa, she, um, she took it, she's a psychologist. So, she take it deeper on the deeper level. And not everybody I feel like, because she know she, she see people, she hear people's stories. And if for her, it's to be her own, then she has to be her own therapist. And she had to get herself on the deeper level with this and that, but, I know it fucked my sister. My sister, they had, they was the first two children for a long time. And they, they funded more than me and my other siblings, whatever, but my brother, because that's what they, that's how they bond. They had a close bond. She's the first, he the second, you know what I'm saying? They was the first two children. And, um, my little sister, she's 13 years old, her name is Daria. And, I feel like she take it as if like, she's young. So, she don't, I don't think it really, it really hit her yet. But, she definitely didn't cry, or, or didn't talk about it, or how she feel about it. She got them all over her room and stuff, you know what I'm saying? On the, on the wall and things like that. So, I know she, she feeling pain too, it's just like, she too young to talk about it or to really know her feelings and how she feel about it, but, but I definitely know it affected her too. Yeah. But, aside from his death affecting them, how was their reaction to knowing everything that took place with you on what you said on social media and then him actually passing it? They were telling me like, don't blame myself because my siblings was on the live as well. And, they was begging me to get off and they were saying, get off live, get off live, get off live, you know, people messy and people drag things and this and that. So, my siblings was just being siblings and trying to be there for us as much as they could. But, it had got out of hand. You know, it had got out of hand and I didn't get off live. I was being very stupid and disrespectful over some $3,000. I just, I just regretted, like I still regretted to this day. Like I regret that. And was this Instagram live? Was this Facebook TikTok live? It was Facebook live. Now to switch things up here. Do you have a favorite memory of him? You'd like to share with the audience today? My favorite, um, memory of him. He's be like, I'm chicken on that, bella. I'm chicken on that, bella. He's the love, bella. Like that guy loves bella, the blue one. Like, I got the video. It's so funny. So, every time I used to record him and stuff for his birthday or anything, he'd be like, I'm chicken on that, bella. I'm about to give me some bella. That was his favorite, like, line, like. And I used to be dying like, oh my god, yeah. Now, you have a variety of tattoos on your body. Some, which can be visible during this interview. Are any of them in reference to him? Yeah. I got a big one. It's him. I'm going to show you. Yeah. Same Steve. But it's him really glad. It's fine. So, yeah. I got it. I got it like, so it was going to happen. I think right after a couple of days after, I was carn getting it, actually. And why'd you choose to get it in music notes? The symbolism or meaning behind that particular. a tattoo there. Because we both love music and you know, like I said, he was the one that that helped me through my whole career. Like he he popped this shit off of real, you know what I'm saying? Like he gave me motivation. He gave me that battery in my back, you know? Did he have a particular position with your music career at all? Was he going to at some point? I think he would have probably been just my brother or my security, but he definitely would have been around for sure, thrown everywhere. Was that something that was talked about? Like "Hey sis, I want to get a position. I want to be a part of this career," so on and so forth or? Yeah, he played a hoarse part in support. Like he he brought them people out for me every time. Like a lot of people, a lot of him is his homeboys and things like that. He played a hoarse part in my support. When it came to this tattoo, was that spontaneous or you knew this was something you wanted to get done? I knew it was something I wanted to get done. I actually drew it myself and I showed it to him and he brought it to life and I told him to do it a little bigger. Like to do a big, big, I wanted it big. It's the biggest tattoo I got I believe. And why that part of your body? Because you could have put this on any part. Because I wanted to show. I wanted to be seen. I'm taking a leave. I wear my arms out a lot. So, you know, I wanted to be seen, you know? And was this a tattoo artist you used before in the past? Yeah. He did most of my tattoo. Yeah. Do you want to share this person or shout this person out at all? His name's Tim. He's from Memphis. So. And what's been the reaction to this tattoo from your siblings, your mother, other family members? Everybody liked it. They just were like, I shouldn't have got it right here because it's show. I should have got it on my bag, but I wouldn't do it. I want to hide it. If I didn't get it, I want to hide it. But he never did music himself just for clarification. That would be amazing. And when it comes to Steve, a couple of questions here before we depart on him, what's the best advice you received from him or most important thing you learned being around him? The best thing I received from Steve was, can I read it? Sure. I think it was the last message he sent me. Take your time. I should have green-shotted it. He said, I told you the name, 2023. He said, man, I got you. I swear for the Lord. Man, for every time I'm going on the path, man, I'm going to stay strong for y'all, man. You know my motivation is you, girl. And I love this. Just made me break down like a motherfucker. Man, I got you. I promise you that this is, I love you, you my dog. For like, you understand me when nobody else do. And for sure, I got us and always have me in there for you. Just do me one favor. Keep writing and never give up. Your word play for the fuck the game of even more. I'm telling you, you want it on one, so you're going to be bigger than Beyonce. That's the last thing he's asked me in messages. And I should have shed it. And that was before the live stream that was before the five-day period. That was before all that. How soon before all that? I'm on it. Yeah. He died in November. November second. So yeah. What year? 2023. That's right. You did mention that previously. Anything else you want to mention here in regards to your brother? That's pretty much it. Now, you mentioned that you did try out therapy for about 30 days. Was that your own doing? Was this people trying to get you to do it? My sister was trying to get me to do it. But like I said, she's a psychology. So I was doing it for her. But I realized it wasn't for me. So I mainly got out of it, not for me. And what was it about it that wasn't for you? Of course, everyone's circumstances are different. Everybody perceives and deals with different people differently, or different professionals differently. What was it about it in particular for you? I feel like I'm too strong for that. I don't want to just be weak and cry all day. I feel like I was too strong for that. Like me going therapy is just me laying down. Like I'm doing what everybody is doing. Like this is not a TV show. Shit happens. And you have to keep going. And I couldn't sit there and sink and continue. Like the more you talk about the worse it be. That's what I always say. Like I keep telling myself, forget to not remember. Like that's the biggest shit I'll be telling myself. I have to forget to not remember. Like I have to. Now I'm not trying to defend the practice here, just trying to see where the disconnect was. Could it have been your age at the time? Do you think maybe you were too young for the professional help you were receiving at the time? I don't want to use the word immature, but maybe I was too young because I didn't like you. Could it have been the mental health professionals gender? No, because I'm a female. But yeah, maybe. Could it have been their race or ethnicity? No. And just curious here, do you think this is something you may retry later in life as you get older in age? This was one professional that you've seen for those 30 days, correct? I think maybe I will because it's good to have a third piece, but that one wasn't for me and at the time I didn't want to be in a sinking place. So it wasn't the time for me. I should never win right out there because it wasn't the time for that. And also again, not defending the practice or for the practice, just thinking of all the questions here. But maybe you just didn't gel with this particular mental health professional. Maybe if you tried a different mental health professional might be a better connection or a better outcome or different outcome or so on and so forth. That's true. And the last thing here that I want to bring up is God. You mentioned this name several times throughout this conversation. Curious here, do you follow religion by any chance? Yeah, I do. I'm big on religion. I got baptized December right before my birthday in January. I got baptized because I spent 2023 to 2025, I built in my relationship with God, my own relationship. I grew up in the church. I grew up around it. But I know new with my father. I mean, not my father, but my brother passed away. I knew it was time for me to speak with God. Like I needed a conversation. I needed him to help me understand a lot of things. And I just wanted to build a relationship with him. And there's that what I did. And I waited two years before I got baptized. And when I knew it was time for me here, when I was going to be done like singing and doing shit that I wasn't proud of. That's that what I did. I got baptized. And I was like, yeah, you know what I'm saying? I'm about to be 21. It's time. It was time. It's time for me to build that relationship. And now since I got them, I've been more happy. I've been more at peace. You've been showing me signs on many things. And I've been moving a lot of people out my life. And that that's good. That's good for me. And when you say December to January, are you talking 2025 to 2026 or a different? No, 2020. No, I'm saying December was when I got baptized. But was that 2025? 2025. Okay. Before I turned 21 in January, 2026. And speaking of your age here, you had no problem sharing your age. There are some that will not share their age, especially recording artists. Why no problem sharing your age here? Because I want people to know. I'm a young great God to see me. [BLANK_AUDIO]