Life Is The Teacher with Don Miguel Ruiz Jr. & Adam Jackson | SSP 236

First of all, this is my grandmother's dream. This is something she started. Grandma Sadita shared with us, it's like, if you practice a total tradition the way "I" or your father practice it, you're killing the tradition, you have to do it your own way, you have to do it your own style. Then it's because life is the teacher. Life is the one who teaches us the experiences through the consequences of our own actions. And if we don't pay attention to our consequences, then we'll never learn. A mistake is just a learning opportunity, a success is a learning opportunity. And if you're constantly trying to live up to an image that doesn't exist or living up to an image that someone projects onto you, you're never going to live your life, you're never going to live your experience. So, the legacy of the individuals, each one lived their life. Each one had a calling and intent, a purpose. What's important for me was to shed that expectation of living up to my father or living up to my grandmother and not doing it the way they do. You recognize the sure part of, right? You are literally a part of the evolution of our species. Everything will be different. Heaven on Earth will happen. When the planetary context has shifted to love. Relationship is the front line of human evolution. Sacred Sun Summit, a two-day community experience. Featuring the voices and visions of Alice in Armstrong, Don Miguel Ruiz, Jr., Devy Brown, Brian and Rhonda Swan, as well as Sacred Sun's co-founders, Adam Jackson, Neil Cresciensen, and Kale Kale Kahi with music and concert performance by Perangi and workshops facilitated by our Sacred Sun's leadership. Join us in San Diego, California, April 11th and 12th. Summit is rooted in heart, mind, body and spirit. Hey friends, Adam Jackson here for another episode of the Sacred Sun's podcast, Brothers and Sisters. Today I'm honored to invite a guest in who is a part of a living legacy, and a living lineage of wisdom that comes from the Toltec tradition. His name is Don Miguel Ruiz, Jr. Welcome to Sacred Sun's podcast, Don Miguel. Adam, thank you so much. Good morning. Thank you so much for having me and your podcast and honor. The knowledge. And we're just a few miles away. I'm in La Mesa. Oh nice. You're in Chula Vista. Wonderful to be close to you here in space. And we will be together soon at our Sacred Sun Summit, which is April 11th and 12th, where we're bringing together thought leaders and speakers to bring messages that do restore our faith in humanity and to allow us to move through the things that we're facing in our lives. And we were just kind of catching up in each other's lives. So thank you for the opportunity to check in with you. Yeah, coming from a tradition of Toltec wisdom that you were raised in, I'm curious what your thoughts are on this word legacy. It's a big one. Just now the gate. No, it's a beautiful because it's like, I see like a spectrum of the myriad. You know, it's, there's a legacy one creates in our own lifetime. Then there's the legacy that a family creates in the span of generations. Then there's the legacy that we create as a human species and as human beings in our wherever corner of our world we live. You know, as I think of the word legacy as an individual at the age of 50, I look at where I've come from, what I've done, what I've created, what I've experienced, the highest lows. And I get to see, all right, I'm doing pretty good. I feel like I did the best I could and I did it pretty good. I enjoy it. There's a lot of things that had, if God, life were to give me a chance to do it again, I would probably do it definitely only because I see that the ripple effects weren't what I really wanted. So I just changed it, but at the same time with the same breath, I'm grateful for those experiences because I'm here at this very moment in time because of it all. And as a legacy as family, you know, like, yes, actually it was, I believe it was yesterday we were at my mom's house at her new place and we're unloading boxes and my father's with us, so helping my mom unloading to a new space, new spot. And we uncovered a box that had stuff from my grandmother, you know, like, stuff that is from when she did healings in body lockin and she had a little temple in Ovidah. This is what it was like, like the little newsletter from when she was in the Reader magazine. Back in 1982, this is from that time. And we're in the pamphlet and what they're talking about or this is before my father even became the omega to receive this, he was still a medical doctor in Tijuana and you know, it's we just he just graduated from medical school like three years prior and he's beginning on his journey, but there's my grandmother already being featured in the San Diego Reader and like we we saw all these little pamphlets, all these little like articles about my grandmother and seeing how you can say it's her journey. Like she is the one who decided to share the family tradition outside the family. She shared in a space called Mervavida, which is means in English, new life with my grandfather, Don Luis. And in body lockin in the 70s and 80s, they did a lot of healing, like psychic healing, faith healing in a Quran de Risman Spanish. And she were really helping a community. So when my father had his aha moments, I began to learn from my grandmother and he stopped being a medical doctor. He became her apprentice and seeing where he started, very similar to where I was or on the same age actually, like well actually younger. He was in his 30s when he started. I got to see how he began his journey. And when he first started, it was basically my grandmother's reputation. You know, it was the work she had done in my grandfather's work that they've done, but it was mostly my grandmother, the focal figure and the legacy that she created herself that a first one, you know, like my father would be part of it. And eventually he had to step out of her shadow and even out of her legacy in order to create what he eventually became. He's like when people ask me what is it like to walk in my father's footsteps, I have to always correct them because it's not my father's footsteps on walking. She's the one that planted that seed and put so much faith in it and work on it, but it sprouted enough to create a space for my father to be able to not just learn but to apply. And as he applied it, he developed his own words and became domiclerus and same thing with us like in my life, that legacy, it was on there in my life. I grew up and my grandmother was already mother Sarita. My Sarita, my mother Sarita, she was already that figurehead in a community. She was already respected. She already had the body of work that she had done. And I still remember as the eldest, I remember Dr. Miguel Ruiz. And then I remember, I print as Miguel Ruiz and I know don't Miguel Ruiz. I've seen the evolution of who he is. And even seeing me out of style, not if he is retired or semi-retired because he still gets bored and he wants to do a presentation here and there or not anywhere else but just there. It's interesting to see how for me, I grew up in a space where I had my grandmother and my father teaching at the level they taught and worked in the level they learned. And one of the biggest things that was important for me was to shed that expectation of living up to my father or living up to my grandmother and not doing it the way they do. You know, you can always feel the people who want to put us back in our lane as quote, unquote, put us back in our lane. And we are not, we're doing it our own way as my brother shares with us. She's grandma Sadita shared with us is like, if you practice the total tradition the way are your father practicing, you're killing the tradition, you have to do it your own way, you have to do it your own, your own style. And that's because life is to be the teacher. You know, a mistake is just a learning opportunity. A success is a learning opportunity. And if you're constantly trying to live up to an image that doesn't exist or living up to an image that someone projects onto you, you're never going to live your life. You're never going to live your experience. So legacy is those things that you admire the body of work say of a family. As a group, we've created quite a bit. We've shared our word as best we could. And it has resonated and it has helped. But as in the legacy of the individuals, each one lived their life. My grandmother, she did it with her faith killing. her healing. My father did it with his words, with his compassion, the merging of spirituality and the scientific world as a medical doctor. He was able to speak that language. One of his main tasks was to clean up the total tradition and take out as much, not just fanaticism, but superstition out of it in order to only leave what he calls common sense. So, in his point of view, the four agreements, his seminal work, is the result of him cleaning the total tradition from a lot of superstition. Of course, there was pushback with that for the people who wanted to, they wanted to spirituality, they still wanted to castaneda, they wanted all this, more damnitious. Potentially. Yeah, exactly. My father says, no, let's go to the roots. The root is simple, the root is human experience, the root is life itself. You know, if we pay attention too much to the superstition, to the metaphors, because that's the mother of superstition. Metaphors is the lesson and superstition is the distortion of the metaphor. The metaphor is a lesson, a story. You know, the elders teach their young students, their grandchildren or children, through the metaphors of life, the stories where we can relate. Because we have an experience that we take the metaphor literally and we attach ourselves to it and we create superstition from it. And at that point, it stops being a functional learning instrument, but it becomes this thing that we have to live up to and it has to be this way and it has to be and no change should come to it because if we change it, it'll get lost. But by the grammar, they always taught us, no, you have to let it evolve, you'll have to let it grow and let it change. Let it move like a river. The water that becomes stagnant becomes corrupt. And so the water needs to continue moving and the legacy continues moving, along with time. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I really feel like flow and the lessons will adapt to that lesson. Yes. I feel that and I love so much that your legacy from your perspective comes through the grandmother. Like that is just such a powerful statement of your experience, but also just for these times. Yeah. And how like really recentering feminine wisdom as a as a leading example, as the legacy. I think that's that's really beautiful. And you know, I see legacy not as a status, but as an act of service, how many people can we be in service to? Yes. And so the legacy I see that your family has created through the work, through the writings, through the teachings. And your particular teachings comes through a lens of self mastery. And you're the author of the mastery of self, the five levels of attachment and several other books, including children's books, and all kinds of amazing things. Why mastery of self? So the mastery of self, the way I write books, like, let's just say, and the first book I wrote was called Five Levels of Attachments. And in the Five Levels of Attachment, I was going up the levels. Like basically, that's what I understood from my grandmother's teachings, how we increase our attachment to something that's not a part of us, a part of us by investing ourselves emotionally until actually with it. So as we go up the levels of attachment, we lose sight of our authentic self. So basically, the levels just to go like level one is the authentic self, level two preference, level three identity, level four internalization, level five fanaticism. I'm of course, I'm adapting while my grandmother taught me in the words that we can all understand. And then the work, if you're going to go up, you have to go down. So in going down the book, how to break through fanaticism, for example, when my grandmother always asked me, doing my apprenticeship, do you control knowledge or does knowledge control you? That was, you can say the quintessential phrase during my apprenticeship with her. And when I was 14 years old, I had no idea what that meant. But as time progressed, I realized that the answer changes depending on how attached we are. Kind of like the question, what does legacy mean to me? It changes depending on the point of view with the individual, the family, the, you know, it's just expense. Similar with, with, if I'm attached at level one authentic self, which is I'm not attached, I am aware that I'm aware that I'm alive, then it's just knowledge is just as regardless of my knowledge, I'm aware that I'm alive. I'm the authentic self is lotus flowers completely open. An attachment is engaging of a moment. And when the moment's over, we just engage. It's something quite healthy, attached, detached, attached, detached. It's a very healthy thing. What makes an attachment unhealthy is when the time comes to detach, we can't. So at level two, we engage a moment which is the preference, really infinite possibility. You know, that's the authentic self. The authentic self is the infinite possibility we can go in any direction in life, where this constant opportunity to go in any direction because we're alive at this very moment in time. We can use the energy that animes his body in mind to manifest something. So we engage that moment, that preference. And when the moment's over, we can disengage, attach, detach, a gas, detach. Then at level three, I event it to imagine a flower called awareness, engaging a moment. And when the moment's over, it can't detach. Because things change. Things are constantly evolving. And sometimes we don't want things to end. And we don't want to detach. So the best way to attach is to attach ourselves emotionally, intellectually with it. So level three, identity, the mask of identity through, I know myself through knowledge as a symbol with a definition. So the answer to my grandma's question at level two preferences, I'm aware of the authentic self. And I'm going to use knowledge as an instrument that informs my choice. But I'm the one making a choice. At level three, I think therefore I am, I am knowledge and I are one. I know myself through this identity with definition. You can say the one condition that the world has, the general planet has or society has is I know who you are. In order to know who you are, that way, I know how to relate to you. How to interact with you. I level four internalization. We attach ourselves even more. And at this point, an identity is a beautiful thing because we can honor our heritage. We can honor where we come from. We can honor our preferences in life, our choices, all these things. It's a beautiful thing and identity. But it could also be a slippery slope as soon as we use it to domesticate ourselves to, which is the main problem. But our time, it addresses from the four agreements in every single one of books. Since we address the mystication, which is a system of reward and punishment by which we model the behavior of an individual. It's the way we learn conditional love and we face it in different facets. So you can say in this case, let's say I engage the total tradition at level one. It doesn't matter what the total tradition is. I'm aware that I'm myself at level two preference. I engage with the tradition. But when I'm not reading the book or engaging in the tradition, I'm able to disengage. I don't call myself a toll tech or Bommigal res you know whatever. Level three, I engage the moment. Now I'm calling myself a toll tech. And when the moment is over, I'm still calling myself a toll tech. And there's nothing wrong with that as I said before. It's beautiful. But I level four internalization. And I'm going to domesticate myself. I have to live up to the image of the a toll tech. I have to live up to the image of Bommigal res junior. Also, and I'm no longer practicing the four agreements. I'm practicing the four conditions. I've corrupted knowledge. So the answer to my grandma's question at level four internalization is knowledge gives me the rules by which I live my life. And not just that, it gives me the rules by which I love myself and others. I love you if you say the flower closes even more. And the book I use the knowledge of soccer, but the flower kind of saves time. Level five, fanaticism, the flower closes completely. How do you define fanaticism? Fanaticism is in a way where you put all your faith in knowledge and the worst thing that could happen is for that knowledge to change. Because you know it's going to change, you're going to defend it and protect it. In this case, I become the personification of that belief. I no longer see myself as a human being. I am the personification of that belief. And if I'm doing that to myself, then every single human being I see is not a human being, but the personification of an idea that either agree with or disagree with. It's easy to kill. It's easy to murder. It's easy to rape. It's easy to do all these horrible things because you're not doing it to a human being. You're seeing it. You're doing it in a symbol, a personification of an idea that I agree with or disagree with. It's the moment we lose our humanity. And because we lost our humanity, we lose sight of anyone else's humanity. Because even if they're on our side, they better be willing to sacrifice or be sacrificed for my beliefs. Because I'm willing to sacrifice myself. In this case, the sacrifice, just like the four agreements turns into the four conditions, sacrifice is also corrupted. It's a distortion. So for my point of view, for now, that is the thing is that we put so much faith in something that's outside of ourselves and we're so afraid for it to change that we put all our energy into it, all our fear, all our fear for it to change and shift. That's going to be become fanatic. This is happening on a large scale right now in our society. It's been happening, the only thing is that we actually, you know, that all song, that revolution will be televised. The revolution is going to be streamed. Like the yin and yang is being streamed live. It's been happening all our lives. It's been in cycles, you know, like the conquest of the Americas, of Mesoamerica by the Europeans. So the conquest of Asia, the conquest of Africa, the conquest within the European Union, the conquest of each other has been coming and going. Like it's a cycle. So it's been there. I just have the image of Hothoranda, the movie of what happened in Somalia. And it's happening again and again and again. You know, it's right now it's just art turned and it just happens to be much more available to us in a sense that it can't escape it because we have a device that is constantly showing it to us. But it's always been like that, you know, it's just we're exposed to it. In that level of fanaticism is a characteristic of humanity that can be traced. You've seen this. Yeah, many times. Like, well, the thing about it, as I, this is something I've read, of course. So I've been going to repeat it. The theory that from where I've read is that when you open knowledge to everyone, what a lot of people believe is that we're going to get illuminated. You know, that's the the illumination periods, the era of illumination. Like all of a sudden we expand, open up science and awareness. And with the internet, it was expected that all of a sudden we're is a dawn of brand new day because all some knowledge is readily available to us. It's not to select few people. It's it's it's it's it's available to everyone. But similar to what happened with Gutenberg's invention print, when print was invented, the printing press, it was expected that knowledge to the same thing because all of a sudden knowledge was not just for the select few who could pay for a book because back then to pay for a book was expensive because it was all handwritten and illuminated. And it was just it was only for the select few who not just could afford it, but born into it. You know, the select chosen ones. But with the invention of Gutenberg, it was supposed to spread, but with invention Gutenberg misinformation began to happen as well because fake news existed even as soon as the first print had happened. Miss information happened. And since there's a whole new thing, people believed everything they saw on print. They wouldn't print it if it wasn't true. That's what happened again with the radio. That happened again with TV. That happened time and time again. And with the internet, it was not it wasn't isolated. It continued there. That fake news. More even more exacerbated with AI to the point where we cannot believe even what we might see. Yeah, which is good for the people who want to share the truth. And it's also good for the people who don't want you to see the truth. It's depending on from the point of view, well, what you see, of course, you know, it's just cast out as much as you can. And you have an informed individual. But going back to the question of fanaticism, when a situation like this with Gutenberg's invention as well as the expansion of the internet in the last 25 to 30 years, every belief you have is in danger of being exposed as not true. And if you put all your faith in it, you either accept it or you double down. And nope, it's you begin to distort it, to make it fit your own narrative. You spin it. You spin it in the way you want to see it, which is what all the news outlets are now doing, you know, like depending on which news outlet is going to spin it to the base it wants to control. But it's something that's been happening all time and time again. And what we're seeing that now with a very specific example, you know, we're here just a few days after war has unofficially broke out with Iran. And so there's a fanaticism that's happening with the Magah movement where they voted for someone who was saying they were the party of no war. And now it's being spun and distorted to the point where the same folks who said they didn't want war now justifying that we need to be going towards today. Like on the on the on the grandest scale, this is this fanaticism is playing out in the distortion is playing out to the point where we're you know threatening, you know, the potential harm for for thousands and millions of people. And to me it's like it's a it goes back to an image of Don Quixote de la Mancha. Don Quixote de la Mancha preferred his illusion over the truth because in his illusion he was righteous, he was right, he was he was Don Quixote because he did not like his real truth. He did not like Alonc Quixano, he did not like that image of self. He preferred why he read in the books. And instead of seeing windmills, those are giants. And when he rushed to attack that first giant and the windmills wing takes man and horse over and throws into the ground. Sancho Pansa goes up to him and says Don Quixote de la Mancha. You okay? What's the matter with you? Those are giant, they're windmills. Ah, Sancho, how naive you are. My arch nemesis, the magician turned these guys into windmills just to make me look bad. He did that because if he said acknowledges those are windmills, his real name is Alonc Quixano, the truth. But as far as long as he sees giants, his name is Don Quixote. So we destroyed it, so we corrupted. We want to see what we want to see. In the work, how do we meet this level of fanaticism? If I'm understanding correctly, the work of the five levels of attachment is to be able to unattach maybe from the fanaticism. To have a moment of clarity is like for me, is to break the cycle of domestication. To have that moment of clarity becoming aware, where am I attached? If you become aware that you're fanatic and you want to stay fanatic, five moments continue. That's what your choice is. But if you want to let go, there's a path to letting go. You know, to go from level five to level four is, you know, you can say, be skeptical, but learn to listen. The ability to question is the truth. And our attachment to our fanaticism or domestication, if you even question it, you're a trader, you're a blasphemer, whatever it is, terms, someone uses to make you judge yourself or even question it. How can you question it? It's like, but in question, it allows you to see whether it's truth or not. If it's, if it's survived, you're screwed me, then you keep saying yes. If it doesn't survive, you're screwed me, then you have the ability to let go. You can go down your level of attachment. The mere fact that you even question it is a big step because so a lot of people, that's just not acknowledging it. We prefer the mile over the truth anytime until we no longer want to live in the illusion. So to go from level four, internalization to three identity, that's the work. That's the four agreements. That's using the four agreements as opposed to the four conditions. The four conditions is the corruption of the four agreements. The tail tail sign that we use the four agreements as an instrument of domestication, it judging ourselves for taking things personal, judging ourselves for making assumptions, judging ourselves for the rest of it. That's the tail tail sale. I'm trying to live up to it. As soon as I live up to the image of the four agreements that I'm worthy of love, but that is the corruption right there. There's the domestication. It's a choice. An agreement is the action of saying yes. So becoming aware, it starts with accepting the truth. I take things personal. I make assumptions. I sometimes am not impeccable with the word. Sometimes I'm not skeptical about at all, but I hope that I can sink in and sometimes I don't do my best just ask my wife. She is my witness. It's the moment you accept the truth. You stop pretending to be something you're not. And in this case, that's how we break, go from fanaticism to internalization by acknowledging the truth. When you go to rehab or go to any or even go to confession, exactly. You acknowledge your truth. This is what I have done and you own your choices. And then you start doing the work that allows you to heal from the wounds that conditional love left in your heart, the wounds that indoctrination, domestication, conditioning left in your words, whichever word to refer. Then going back now, I'm going back to your original question. Why the mastery of self? Where does that come from? The mastery of self, when I was writing the book, the pilot was attached, and I started going off on this tangent. The tangent going from level three to level two. Because all the work that we've done before, like a lot of people really do, we're used to going from level 5 to 4, 4 to 3, we're used to doing the work that allows us to heal our own wounds. Yeah. To go from level 3 to level 2 is the willingness to take off the mask of identity, which is to us very scary to a lot of us. Because how do I know who I am without my identity? How am I an anti-trader or whatever judgments we have? It's the same there, but who am I without knowing who I am through a symbol and a definition? So I went off on this tangent and my publisher says, okay, we're breaking the line here. Let's copy and paste it, put it somewhere and finish the book, which is I did. We went from level 5, from level 3 to level 2, level 2, level 1. And this tangent became the mastery of self. The mastery of self is the moment where I stop pretending to be something I am not and accept myself just the way I am. When we talk about mastery in our tradition, in our legacy, this we use the word legacy, it's not about domain over something or power over something. It's about practice makes the master. When you put something into practice, at first, it's like the analogy I usually give, I give this in the mastery of life. I think it's in the master of self. It's like reading a cookbook. If you read a cookbook, but you never apply the recipe, you'll never know what the meal will taste like. The only way to know what the meal will taste like is following each and every one of those steps. And at the end, you either made a meal that you like or you don't like, but at very least now you have the experience. Yes, the learning is in the doing. Exactly. You have that trust in yourself to be able to take the steps. I trust myself. That's what practice does. And little by little, you start getting better and better to the point we start adding ingredients, subtracting greens, changing the recipe. Every time you want to make the meal, you bring out the recipe, but then it's going to come that one day. It's going to be that one day where you don't bring out the cookbook because you know the recipe. You know it by heart. At that moment, trust, turn into confidence. I am confident in myself to take the steps. I'm confident to myself to make these choices. And then comes a day where, for example, with me, I have a recipe that I make a spaghetti that my kids love my, my wife likes and my mom tries to steal and she tries to beat me to the punch and make it before I make it. Because she sees that the kids like it. And I did pretty good because I learned how to I really mastered cooking is when I was living in Sacramento at that 200 feet in altitude. And then we moved to Reno. And our house was at 5,000 feet and all of a sudden things changed because water boils in a different temperature or time. So all of a sudden, I realized that I was cooking with two ingredients. I didn't know I was cooking with time and altitude. You know, so if I had little trust in myself, then I'd be judging myself, what kind of cook am I? It's just in the whole diet of a punishment for not living up to that image that could have happened there. Or I trust myself. I have confidence in myself and I'm able to adapt to it and change. And when that happens, faith is born faith in myself to take a step to make a choice. And that's when I become a master. I have mastered the capability of the intent that animates this body. So it's not dominion over is kind of this interaction is intimacy between me and life where we co create together with environments around us with the elements that we have. So when we talk about mastery of self is that confidence in myself to be me that I don't have to pretend to be something I'm not. For the sake of someone else's point of view or prejudice or whatever, and I don't even need to impress anyone. I have to do is just live the life I want to live. And it's okay to be terrible at something. I've me and my brother put we post videos of us playing guitar or bass in my case. And we don't mind like they've rolled says like from food fighters as don't be afraid to suck. You know, don't be afraid to be terrible. Be out there and be terrible because that's where you get confidence is the cookbook all over again. Just don't be afraid to be terrible at something you're you're starting and with practice you get better and better and better. And it motivates you. And that's the master yourself, the mastery of my ability to live my life to accept myself just the way I am to love myself unconditionally, which means I'm willing to see myself. Conditional love only sees what it wants to see unconditional love is the willingness to see the whole of being young to accept that shadow self just as much as the light. And that's the master self right there. There it is. The in the young, the ability to accept the shadow self along with our ability to have faith in oneself. I love that piece of where the evolution isn't just to confidence or knowing this, but it's a faith. Kind of in the the fullest expression of oneself. And you're constantly changing constantly evolving. It's putting yourself within as opposed to something outside. Right. So that's my that's kind of my thing with mastery. If I'm being fully honest is is there such a thing. I can I can understand mastering the meal and as time moves on and things change. Like is there ever anywhere to truly arrive would be my question. It's kind of like the attachment detached. You engage a moment. And when the moment's over, you detach. You hit it and they let it go because that's the thing is like I've had experiences in my life. I've had experiences where I've had also like a spiritual awakenings in my life that all of a sudden I'm like, I'm in one with everything. I had that beautiful, blissful moment. I've had those experiences where the assemblage points shifts and I see life without a field during this fantastic. And you think, Oh, I've done the work. Everything in life is automatic. No, no, life is like this. Like my grandma would say, if you want to make God laugh, tell her your plans. You know, it shifts the changes. It's constantly throwing you left a curve balls as the expression goes or changing. Like as soon as you've mastered this thing, life gives you an challenge. Like, for example, taking things personal. If you want to learn to not take things personally, you first start by acknowledging that I only control to the tips of my fingers. I don't control beyond them. I don't control your perception. I don't control your will. You do. I only control to the tips of my fingers. That's it. That's the only thing I control. I'm a co-creator with everything in life. So to not take things personal, okay, how do I want not to take a personal, which is to me, not assume responsibility for someone else's will or perception. To me, that's what not taking things personally is. They're, they're responsible for their half of the relationship. And on the other side of that coin, to not take things personal is also to accept full responsibility for our own thoughts, words and actions. Exactly. Like Uncle Ben or Aunt Mate, whichever movie you saw with great power, cons great responsibility. You respect yourself to experience the consequences of your choice. That's it. If you want personal freedom to be able to say yes, the notes of things you want to say, yes, no, too, it comes with the respect that we have on ourselves to experience the consequences of those choices. So we start by practicing with the outer sphere of our sphere of influence, the people in our lives, the outer fear, like the people we don't know, the only, for example, in this case, the people that's on social media. If you go into social media and you're reacting, you're reacting to belief versus belief. Your belief system is reacting. And it's not personal, but my, I'm so attached to my beliefs that I'm here. I am getting mad at someone who I don't know, but the thought is there and I'm reacting to her. So you start learning how not to take those people personal and you slowly get better and better and also you start going down and towards the center, like to more people. And then you start reaching people you actually know in your life. And it gets complicated because the closer you are to that center of your sphere of influence, now you have people with whom you do have emotional wounds with or triggers with and all this stuff. And the closer you are, there's also more at risk. Yep. And you get closer and closer and also you find yourself in the center. When I was younger, I used to be my mom, my dad and my brothers, like the core, my, or an ex-girlfriend or something like that. Most people who are really close to me and then I learned not to take them personally. I thought I've mastered not taking things personal. I'm not taking my father personally, my mother personally, my brother's personally. It's so good. Even my wife, I'm not taking her personally either. Yeah. That in life, it says, oh, really? Hey, let me open up this onion and I'll come my kids. And all of a sudden, As soon as you start getting used to not taking that personally, they turn 14, they turn 18, they turn 20. And my son is 20. With every ask, "Year, you're relearning not just how to be a parent, but you're relearning how to not take the person that they've become personally." So it keeps changing, it keeps challenging, new things arise every day. It's not constant, it's not an automatic, it's a constant practice. A master can fall at any given moment as soon as they give into temptation. Yeah. But temptation only exists at the moment of choice. It evolves with the stages of life. You know, from childhood to adolescence to adulthood, and then the elderhood is almost more closely related to childhood, where my imagining is that it's easier in the elder years to not take things personally. In my fantasy, there's happy grandparents who are kind of like in a more childlike state of wonder. Yeah. I met a few of those, and I've also met some people in the opposite side of that too. Right. Yeah, and then there's the parent that has dementia and you are tasked with taking care of them and a different challenge of how to not take it personally when your own parent doesn't recognize you, for example. You're right. So it just continues to evolve and new challenges are presented. But you're the constant, and you're the constant. So know yourself. Right. And that's where the master of self comes in. It's going to know myself because in every one of those relationships and in every one of those moments, I am the constant. And so how do you see this? Is it everyone's responsibility, therefore, to master self so that we may have a collective embodiment of mastery? You can say that the possibility is always there. And everyone at any given moment, that's the thing about infinite possibility, the possibility that all eight billion human beings at the same time have their ass, same heart, the same time. The possibility exists. The opposite opposite also exists where they're all going to double down or triple down on their own beliefs. Yeah. So it both exists. It's like, the metaphor that exists, this is the master of self and my father's book, the master of love and voice and knowledge. Imagine that you're the only sober person in a party where everyone else is comfortable. And the reason why you're in the party is that everyone you know is there and you're the only sober person. And every person in that party is going to be in different states of their inebriation or sobriety. But you're there because you want to be there because the people you love in life are there. So that's where you're there. So imagine that party where everyone you know is there and you're talking to two people. One person has been nursing their drink for hours like they sip it and basically they're still in the same or the first port they were here. From that party hours ago, they're still sipping it. It hasn't really moved too much. Next to them, you're talking to some of us already open their third bottle of wine and they already blacked out, but they you can't tell they just functional functional black out people. You know, it's like if they they their awareness is completely gone. I've met some people like that too. Imagine these two extremes and everyone in the party are going up and down that level of panic. You're talking to someone they get there and they're sober. They have the first drink. They're so good. They put a second drink. Their haters are changing. They have the third drink. Their behaviors. Toilet changing the fourth one. And I'll always wait. I've got to take a pause. I'll say I had up realization like, well, I'm going to truck. Let me drink some water and as hours progress, they start changing and like so you can go up and down. Imagine that with awareness. Instead of being drunk, alcohol, you're drunk with the drama of the party and your awareness goes up and down the levels of attachment. Every person is in different stages. Like some people, they they were able to open up all the way open and then they hit a trigger that make them react and you know, that's happened to me, of course. I've had that. And it goes like this. And then we have the aha moment. Oh, that's right. I'm doing again. Good one. And then we begin to open up again. And here we are. So basically every person in your life is like this. And you're the only constant person. And you're the sober person. So what are you going to do? Are you going to drink in the drama of the party and nurse the drink the way that a person does or open a third bottle of wine, not the other person does. Or you're going to stay in your discipline. Yeah, you decide. So your choice when I'm when I'm hearing from you is that a collective embodiment is while possible and anything is possible unlikely. Oh, and that's the thing is like right now, even what we know through a lot of the wars we're seeing in the world and even what's happening now. It's like, oh, wouldn't it be better if the whole world has my same religion. And I'm going to conquer lands and bring in the inquisition so they can see the light. It's it's we can you can force it by other people or you can just simply respect it. There's no need for missionaries. You can just simply share it. You know, like my brother, he's a vegan. And he doesn't push it down on anyone and a lot of people around him eat vegan up because he forces them to be because because they see how he look. He's in great health that he lost a hundred pounds. He people think that he's my son whenever next to him. We're only three years apart and people say, oh, aren't you proud of my son? Yeah, son proud of my son. And I point to my brother like, my brother, he's three years younger than me. Anything he's my son. He's looking good. You know, he's he looks really healthy. His skin looks healthy. Everything is good. It's he shifted his life because he let go of his alcohol and his addictions and began to eat right and he changed his life dramatically. It's it's fantastic to see this transformation. And he is vegan and he doesn't tell anyone like, you only eat vegan if you're on me. And I could be he'll he'll tell you, oh, like try this. This is really good. I'll try that. This is really good. Like it's you'll enjoy that. I'm not going to eat it because that's not my preference, but you go ahead and eat it. That's and what I'm going to be an argue. The one that respects, you know, how he says it. And that's really it. You know, the respect we have of one another is ability to know that to share that sometimes a much louder way of expressing and sharing is living it rather than forcing it. Yeah. And it comes back to the word acceptance because again, it's not to be a missionary to make everyone the same, but could there be an overall understanding of acceptance? Yeah, let's just call this as respect. Yeah. No, it's like, here's the four agreements. You have a choice to read or not as opposed to it wouldn't be easier for me to practice the four agreements if everyone practice the four agreements. And there's the four conditions. The four conditions are speaking right there. Yes. Yes. There is there it is again, the shadow in the light and the light within the dark. Yeah. Yeah. And so all we can truly do is to do our best. Always do our best. Yeah, because for example, if I'm the constant in every relationship that I am in, if I do the work that allows me to heal the wounds, then I become the constant opportunity for unconditional love in every relationship I have. In contrast, if I don't do any of the work and I still let my domestication dictate it all my wounds, my attachments, all my fanaticism, then I'm the constant expression of conditional love in every relationship that I'm in. And that's the difference. One with conditional love of domestication, I'm the constant expression of conditional love versus I become the constant opportunity for unconditional love. Yeah. In the work that I do with men, I often find that the one we place the most conditions on is ourself. In terms of the way that we talked to ourselves, potentially the way that we choose to treat ourselves or mistreat ourselves. And so again, coming back to full acceptance of ourselves, who we are and where we are in time. Yeah, and you can say like we can corrupt the image of what a man is supposed to be. As soon as we have attachment to what that man is supposed to be, just like a foregrim is trying to do for conditions, we are going to try to domesticate ourselves to fit that image. In that moment, we're trying to live up to an image that doesn't exist. And let's face it, the definition of man has so many definitions and meanings that it changes. The expectation of what a man is is different than a country that is in the city or within a different country. It's in different cultures. It's constantly shifting because it's what's needed in the community that exists. So for my point of view, if I'm so attached to it has to be this image and has to be that one, then I have to force it and everything. Any time someone else brings a totally different facet of masculinity or whatever, they're going to be threatened. No, I have to be my way and you can see how that becomes toxic. But if you realize Oh, manhood, the image of man changes. It's really on the eye of a beholder, as the experience is one has the true self with me is changing. Now at 50, my perception of what is man is changed from that of when I was a teenager. Back when I was a teenager, I really believe the image of the Mexican macho and the pelerian fan, the no-one, the man that cost so much damage I could have saved myself so many, so much heartbreak if I didn't believe those things because they were all alive. They were an illusion. Yeah. Yeah. And so to understand what that is, it backens the soul to be our full authentic self because our authenticity is actually what speaks through any conditioning by society or through culture. I think it's healthy to create a culture to give some boundaries and also limitations because I'd be curious to know, you were 14 years old when you went into your apprenticeship down this path. So you were initiated. Did it feel like an initiation for you? Did it feel like a rites of passage? Yeah. And this is something that I see societally, at least in Western world, is missing, rites of passage for youth and for young men. There's a disclaimer there, an astridist. It says that I grew up in a family, a very spiritual family with rites of passage. But even I corrupted it. And I realized, because the reason why I like teaching the four conditions is because I became aware that I was doing that. You know, you become aware of the loopholes, how I use it to live up to an image that doesn't exist. You know, you can easily corrupt it. You know, you get like my father released the book, The Four of Grimmaces, very first book right at the bat at the age. He was 45 years old. And I'm 21 and the first people tell me like, so when is your book coming? And if I believe it, I'm going to use it to reinforce it. And I have a lot of the neighbors to make me believe, you know, don't believe your own hype or whatever. Don't believe that image has projected. It's so easy to get drunk with that image and letting ego run wild with it. And then life happens, life slaps you in the face. It gives you an aha moment. And then you realize I was practicing the four conditions, not the four agreements. You know, I had a moment where I lost someone I loved very much. And you can say, yes, I was 14 years old when I started my apprenticeship, but I didn't really start practicing it until my mid 20s when I also and I got the aha moment. What was the aha moment or what was that universal smack that, you know, that entered into your life? Well, two things. One, I lost someone I loved very much. And I wasn't too, I pretended to be. I realized that image of self did not exist. And you know, it's like when you're young, they tell you the best way to heal from a relationship is to get into another relationship. Despite what my parents and my grandma was telling me, no, do the work. No, no, listen to these guys. They's like the best way to let go of our relationship. Just get into a new one. And I just started creating a freight train of stuff that I, as unresolved issues, stuff that hasn't been worked in all of them. It's a rails. And it's a rails for the moment where you lose someone that did nothing wrong and you can no longer project any blame onto them. It was all me owning my actions. And when that happens, there's no one to blame. And that's the aha moment. That's when I realized I'm not where I pretend to be. And it hurts so much to do someone you wanted to marry and see your life. But it's also the same time realizing that I love myself conditionally. So I broke that cycle of not dating people immediately and just taking some time off and giving myself the time to heal. And luckily for me, in time to meet my wife, we've been together for 21, almost 22 years. And I'm still learning the lessons. And it's just one of those things that it's the moment where you have an aha moment and you run with it. You know, you actually listen to it. And that requires faith. Yeah. Yeah. Like the expression says, it's a moment of clarity without any action. It's just the thought that passes in the wind. But a moment of clarity followed by action becomes a pivotal moment in our life. So that was what happened to me. My brother lost his eyesight. My father had a wreck. For me, I had a broken heart because I lost someone I love. And I just served it because there was a consequences of my action. And my wife said before, to love yourself unconditionally, to have personal dreams, to respect yourself, to experience the consequences of your own actions. Well, I own the consequences. And I learn from it. Right. And that's, yeah, that's the part of getting back on to that ascending spiral is to learn the lessons. Like, with everything that happens, I feel there's either a lesson in it or a blessing. And sometimes the quicker we can get to what is in this for me, what is in this that can be useful. It's a good perspective to have. The reason I say it requires faith. It's like having the faith that regardless of what the challenges are, knowing that we are powerful enough to meet these challenges and opportunities. Having faith that God has blessed us with this challenge or opportunity because we're courageous and strong enough to handle it. Yep. Yep. Yeah. Trusting ourselves to take that step forward. Yeah. You know, before we got on, we spoke a little bit about your son. Would be okay to share a little bit in this way. I'm just my son Noah, who's 11. He was also, he's also on the spectrum. Although I would say on, as he is growing and maturing, I see we see less and less of some of the characteristics of autism. With this opportunity that's in your life with your son who's on the spectrum, do you also feel that that faith that you're strong enough to handle all the challenges that may come? Yeah. Although I have to tell you that the moment where it was just incredibly daunting and overwhelming and the body starts to break down. You know, it's like it's, you know, it's, it's a, my son went from mid to high functioning to mid to low functioning. You know, we lost a lot during COVID and, you know, whether he has got sick with it or not, what matters is that we, during that time, 2020 was the screaming year because he was just constantly in pain and he went into a fight of flight and we lost a lot of that part of him that was inquisitive and looked like love to experiment and do all these creative things and all of a sudden we just lost so much. Like we, he was playing drums before then, then he stopped playing and just, just in his rumination in the cycle and he just, you know, purity does that. It could have been purity, could have been COVID, could have been many other factors, but he went to a fight of flight, couldn't regulate himself and he was constantly escalating. And, you know, that takes a toll that it's, it's daunting and it's, it's, and, but you still, you still do the work because we love him, you know, I love my son and I do the work and I was averaging three hours, three hours of sleep at night and I had a concussion in the middle of it because I made a mistake of trying to restrain him in the middle of the bed. Actually, in this room, I was like, he's trying to break that ceiling and I made a mistake of trying to hold him in and top of his bed and we both fall like raven and I let rough when I'm sitting right now, hit my head and he still asks me so I couldn't let go and I didn't know I had a concussion until the next couple of days and then the one thing that it's supposed to heal is like sleep. You have to sleep a good six to eight hours and I'm getting three hours and I'm lucky me before. So I prolonged the time to heal from a concussion. It just made it worse. So I myself was in fight or flight or diagnosed with caregiver's fatigue and I definitely have PTZ from it. And that's where you know, coming from the book, I just write the points and narrows like I write about like the key to it is acknowledging that there is something. My brother always says this expression. In the total tradition, there's nothing to learn but to unlearn. What should I unlearn? For me, anything that stops me from giving myself the permission to heal. Because it requires the willingness to acknowledge it. I have PTZ. I have caregiver's fatigue. I definitely take medication that allows me to recover and helps me. You know, I have ADHD so fine, fine. After all, he's yours, fine, taking ADHD medicine because before I have my copy mechanisms, I wrote six books with ADHD. I have my reading or that thing. But then I reached a point where I had an injury that all of a sudden I could not rely on my coping skills because every time I try to read, my second page I have a fall asleep like I would read. Just the brain was just not ready. So I'm taking medication with ADHD and also my patient just went, "Oh, how I, I realized that all my life I was hungry and all of a sudden I'm taking medication." And all of a sudden I was like, "Oh, that's what hunger actually feels like." It's like, it's to actually have hunger without the discomfort of the head and the cloud and the pressure that came from being hungry, all of a sudden I'm like, "Oh, I'm hungry and I'm not getting mad or impatient." "Oh, and I'm sleeping." That's the irony. I'm laughing about it now. It's like in college I never took ADHD meds for anything. I was like, "And had I taken ADHD meds in college, I would probably put me to sleep, which means I would have not helped me staying up to write an essay that was due at the end of the semester and trying to burn them in, I would have put me to sleep because that's what the medication does. It lost all my brain and it was like this." Now I say this because if I let the image of the domigold reach junior, supposed to do this, he's a master of that, that is exactly what would stop me from finding the healing. Yeah. An ego will stop me from acknowledging that I have PTSD. Ego will stop me from acknowledging that I have caregivers fatigue that I'm tired, that I'm emotionally drained. EGNOLOGYMOSTHINGS. Now for me, people say, "Oh, my son chose me for every reason because I can take it." That's just a nice story to tell. My son is my son, my daughter is my daughter. This is the individuals who I'm racing and I love and I'm going to adapt to them. They're going to change. My son's already changed. He's not the same young man he was in the thick and the height of his escalations and fight of flight. He's able to control his anxiety. He's no longer constantly worried about the next thing. He's finally relaxing. All of a sudden, with his relaxing, he's now giving himself the opportunity to rediscover things that he was interested before, music and videos and movies and things like that and singing. He loves to sing. It's wonderful to see the evolution of someone doing the work. It's something I tell my wife, when he went to that school and pay all the cancers and he did the great work in six months, I tell my wife, "If we don't do the work, he's going to come back and he's done the work. If we don't do the work, then we're just going to repeat the cycle because we're still in a cycle." We have to break the cycle and do the work. That comes because I learned from my cycles with ex-girlfriends back when I was in my late teens and early 20s that cycle didn't help. Do the work. Right. Life taught me. Break the cycle, do the work. What advice would you give for someone who's fatigued, for someone who's tired, for someone who might be out there who's in the thick of it, as you said? Take a deep breath. Find those little moments to take a breath. It's okay to say no to a few things, especially in the thick of it. I know there's so much to do that you're juggling so many things. It's okay to say no and yes to giving yourself some me time. Of course sometimes we may not qualify for respite, sometimes you spouse is tired themselves, sometimes you have to figure out, sometimes driving is the respite, sometimes it's realizing that it does get better but it gets better because we're breaking cycles. If you hope to get better without any action, it's just going to keep going. It's just going to keep going. You're just going to keep going. You have to break cycles. If there's something that's keeping you from healing, then that's the thing we begin let go of. Sometimes we've said yes to so many things that we don't give ourselves time at all for ourselves. We don't have time to regain that energy. We don't have time to find that passion. For example right now, unsandwiched between a special needs child and a special needs parent. I'm not free to say the diagnosis because she hasn't given me the permission but I just know that I'm in right now in a sandwich. I had to let go of some things that were helping me with my son. I had to let go because my mom means me at the time of this time but I kept some things that make me happy which is playing music. It took you my bass lessons and guitar lessons. I go there and I come back to go into rehearsal with some other people from the school. The guitar center in the Mason here in your neighborhood. I go there and we go back and I'm like there was a channel by which I let it out. Then I felt alive. That little bit makes the world of difference. Of course I can't live my mom alone so I ask my aunt or my beloved to help me here and there and it's just the willingness to reach out, voice it, silence is not strength as the quote goes, "Don't be afraid to ask for help. If anything, that's it. Don't be afraid to ask for help. You're not being selfish." Those who can will say yes. Those who can't will say no. Don't guilt anyone to try to make them say yes and don't blame them when they say no. Respect them. It's better when they say yes from a good place versus and I have to. It's because they want to come and help. They care. They love. Let them love. Let them care. It's okay. You don't have to be Superman in order to do this. Superman sometimes needed Bruce Wayne and sometimes he needed Batman and sometimes he needed it. Wonder Woman. You just got to be able to be willing to. It's okay to say I need help. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Take a deep breath. Rest. Find that space of respite. And also to find what you love. Feel that space up with the craft. I like to encourage folks I work with to find your maker's mark. Actually use your hands as prayer. Find a craft or something to make or playing the guitar or doing something that we can actually. There's something intentionally when our hands are busy or at work. It's a good prayer. And then to ask for help and so to break a pattern, to have a pattern interrupt. This is what we will be doing April 11th and 12th at the Sacred Sun Summit. If you are someone who is out there who is seeking, who is raising your hand, asking for help or guidance, we are collecting some incredible thought leaders Don McGell, Ruiz Jr. You are one of them alongside of Alistair Armstrong Music by Paranghi. Of course our Sacred Sun facilitators, I will be there leading a team and hosting. This is really an environment what we do at Sacred Sun is we bring folks into an intentional container for justice, for asking for help, for excavating the shadow, for confession, for honesty and authenticity, sometimes to be raised up and celebrated. Sometimes for our brothers and sisters out there too. It's not all suffering. Sometimes it's, could you just see me in my glory and my shine? I just wrote my first book and that's where I'm at. So can we celebrate each other as human beings? Can we inspire each other through collective embodiment and through agreements? We have agreements that we step into in our container. And so our agreements are confidentiality, honesty, acceptance, ownership and sacredness. So these are the ways that we get into alignment. When we come together in this way as community, I have to tell you, I have seen mirror circles. I have seen transformations happen just from that collective witness and from the willingness for those who want to say yes, yes, I'm here in support. I'm here to show up and to support our brothers and sisters. It's a radical act in these times of division to call in unity, but that's exactly what we're calling in. Yeah. And so if you are willing, if you're out there and you feel this message and I just want to say, Miguel, I love this, the vulnerability and also just the reality and the wrongness that you speak with because it's not all mass. And this is my original question of like, is there anywhere to arrive in mastery? And so it's, it's we arrive, we attach and then we just attach and then we attach and so and so goes life. And so if you're on the journey and if you want that pattern interrupt, join us in San Diego and say it again, April 11th and 12th, please don't miss this. It's going to be a phenomenal experience. I'm absolutely sure of it. And yeah, I'm encouraging you to be a part of this. bring through the spirit of this work that you've done and also to once again to celebrate you and to celebrate not only the legacy that you are a part of but the lineage of this toll tech wisdom because we need these tools now. This is a time where folks really need these tools. Yes, a good time to share. Always walking towards the best. Yeah, yeah, always working towards the best. With that, I'm curious, is there anything that you're working on now? Is there is there something more for you here in terms of a next book, a current realization or revelation for the times that we are in? All right. Now I'm so focused on my family that everything else I think is it's almost like it's secondary. Yeah, right. I'm in the middle of a sandwich that it's finding that center and not staying in that center but surfing it because you know, inside the ego, when it's well used, it's able to surf that wave that allows me to stay on float. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. One final question. This is a question I like to ask in terms of our legacy and our journey from our origins to our legacy. When the boy you once were meets the elder that you are becoming, what do they say to each other? All right. Don't force the guitar. Pick up the bass. That's the thing for me. I'm self-taught guitarist and I played guitar. I bought my first guitar at age 17. I bought my first guitar. This guitar is a Fender Stratocaster. I bought it with my first paycheck. I bought it. Yeah. I was 17 years old. I bought it because I wanted to play guitar with my friend, my best friend Ed. My girlfriend at the time I first loved when with me to buy it at La Mesa. I bought it and I enjoyed it. I never really had the discipline for it. For a good 30 years, I played it and I enjoyed it and I grabbed the acoustic guitar and I really enjoyed it. Then very similar, I went to a friends place and he had a bass and I started playing it and I kind of liked the groove. I bought myself this square bass Jaguar. This passed October. Since then, I have three more additional basses because all of a sudden, you know how the expression goes. Once you can see the piano in here, it sings. It's the hardest thing with a guitar. Maybe with the ADHD or something. But with the bass, all of a sudden, it just clicked and all of a sudden, just music, just like I was 49 years old when music clicked and I'm able to even read sheet music now. I can play piano, I can play guitar and. In the bass? I'm locked it for you. Yeah. And what I mean by that is that yes, I can play guitar. Yes, I can play piano. I can even sing. I can do all those things but I didn't reach a level of intimacy with playing an instrument until I played the bass. And for me, it was like, you know, the expression like you're trying to force something because that's cool and everyone plays it. And I picked up the bass and also just clicked and even I got better playing guitar because of it. I'll send like a totally understand the whole thing. And I guess I would tell myself about it. Yeah, it's just like, stop trying to look cool and do something you enjoy, dude. Like don't waste your time trying to impress people. It's just quick tricks, man. Do something you love and enjoy it. So that's what I would tell my young self. Don't try to impress. Do what you enjoy. And don't be afraid to experiment because you'll be shocked. Then all of a sudden you play something and it fits. And what would my younger self tell me? In all honesty, right on, dude. Because I became the author. I've done a lot of things I wanted to do. You know, and you know, it's like I asked, when I was 28, I asked myself, what do I want my 30s to look like? Like I was working in a film in the square. I studied film and video production at UCSDS. My major is in film and video production with an emphasis on cinematography and photography and graphic design. That's what I know. And I worked in the film industry for a while, but when I was my 20s, I enjoyed production time. I'll be honest with you, I still missed production. I enjoyed working on projects and I lived it. But then the thing that was exciting about it is that every job is potentially your last gig. So you get hired by your reputation. Now, by who you know is your reputation. People enjoy working with you. You'll get the call. So, but you're always afraid of you're not going to get the call. So you'll always work as if this is your last gig. And that's a great mentality when you're in your 20s because there's a certain level of adventure. But in my 30s, I'm like, do I want that in my 30s? Do I want that? And I answered, no, I want to be a father in husband. Well, what kind of father has been? Do you want to be? I want to be the one that's there. So I shifted. And my father at the time, unfortunately, my father had a heart attack. And he had left him with 15% of his hard capacity. In regards to what the legacy I have is because he needed help and I stepped into help him. And it was during that time where the teachings clicked for me. I put it in language that I could understand kind of kind of like, you know, like with a base, with a tradition in my late 20s, they clicked. Like I didn't have to repeat it the way my father does it or my grandmother, I can do it. My own way, my life experiences, life will teach me. And I adapted it. That's how I share that. You don't be afraid to be vulnerable to acknowledge it, you know. And share because someone might see themselves in that shared story. So by the end of it, I got away. I want to have this. And I also want to be an author. And I became an author for the age of four day, became an author. What do I want my 40s to look like? Well, I want to be a continue writing books become pretty good at it and be there for my family, especially I knew the teenage years were coming. And I was there. I was able to be at home. I luckily had a job that allowed me to be at home to be able to help my wife and my kids doing those tough times that we went through. And now I'm out of it. Now I'm 50s and I ask myself, well, why do I want my fetus to look like? Well, I have my career. I have seven books under my belt. If I wanted to, I could stop writing right now or I can continue writing it. We'll see. I guess this is your previous question. What else am I cooking? The answer to I want my 50s is that I want to become a professional musician. So, and it's all because of this guy. All of a sudden, like, oh, it clicked. So, you know, this little like, $280 base. All of a sudden, it became just a joy. And I totally, I enjoy playing it. And I love the feel of playing this guy. That it just opened up the rest of it. And now I understand, it's fun. And I have a discipline. So, minus, well, do it. Because I enjoy it. Following your passion, yes. Yeah. It's not even this, it's just like, oh, I've got to do it. So, yeah, it's not even a discipline. I just get to do it. I just get to play with it. It's just fun. So, that's what my teenage self would tell myself right now. Yeah. Keep following your passion. Don Miguel Ruiz Jr. Wow. It was, I got so much insight into your life. It's really illuminating, you know, just to hear the journey. And, yeah, appreciate all that you shared here today. And I look forward to sharing more space in person. And, you know, inviting folks into the conversation, but also the experience of this cycle of attachment, of non-attachment, of mastery of peaks and valleys in the continuance of the journey of life. I really appreciate just in this moment the acknowledgement of, of everything that we all go through. Because I know there's so many folks out there who are in a sandwich. So, if you're in a sandwich and you want a pattern, enter up, come join us, come be with community, come have a sandwich and be in a sandwich with us. Any final thoughts, a song, a story, a poem, a prayer, any piece that you would like to leave with the folks who are listening. Well, Adam first want to say thank you so much for having me on your podcast. It's been a fantastic time. I enjoyed it very much. My mom was waiting for me. I had to go out and take help out. and be with her, but I would tell anyone out there just enjoy life, enjoy being you. The key to all this work is to enjoy. Actually, I just remind you, a teacher wants to share it with me this. She shared it in Shasta, Mount Shasta. I forgot her name, but what she said is tattooed to me. The key to enlightenment is effort. That's it. That's all it is. This is an effort that is using the energy that animates this body and mind to make a choice or take the step. That's what effort is. So forget about the drill sergeant in your head is the choice we make every morning or every afternoon, whatever it is. Discipline is remembering to apply that effort. That's it. That's all this is. Remembering to apply that effort and success is falling through. Alright, maybe we all find success. Maybe we all find remember our effort. Yeah, this is wonderful. Alright, Don McGell-Rouise, Jr. sacred sons. Summit is coming April 11th and 12th in San Diego. We will see you there. It's going to be like a bit of a, you know, many festivals. We're going to have vendors, speakers, music by Parangi. Now that I know you're a bass player, what's your band called? You're still studying in a band like with your brother? I'm still studying level. Okay, you're still student level. So we'll see when music comes to you. We just had a showcase, so basically we sign up and we play with people. So right now I'm just getting used to playing with other people and it's fun. I enjoy it. Yeah, I look forward to seeing Parangi. He is truly a master of music and someone else that just had releasing a podcast with so. Cool. Look forward to more to come and to seeing your in person. Much love, everybody. Peace. Love. Peace. Have a good one. Cheers.