Librarian Mychal Threets talks rebooting Reading Rainbow and our panel eats goo

Hey, just a quick note for our listeners. If you've been listening to us for a while, but haven't hit the follow button on us yet, then we're in what the kids call a situation ship. Sure, we laugh, we cry, we laugh cry with each other every week, but there's no commitment. Now, we have to think about the future because remember, someday neither of us will be this hot. If you're ready to level up our relationship because I am, it's time to hit that follow button on your podcast app. You'll be rewarded with our latest episodes as soon as they're out, and of course, the warm comfort of knowing we will be there for each other when things start to sag. (upbeat music) - From NPR, at WBEC Chicago. This is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. The NPR News Quiz. I'm the reason everybody's throwing super mill parties this weekend. (audience laughs) Bill Curtis, and here's your host at the Student Baker Theater, the Fine Arts Building, in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Segal. - Thank you, Bill. (audience cheers) - Thank you, everybody. You're very kind. We do have a great show for you today. Later on, we're gonna be talking to Michael Three. He is the new host of the rebooted reading Rainbow. This will be a treat for those of you who spent your childhood in libraries, instead of playing sports or getting invited to fun parties, which let me check our latest audience data. That is, it's all of you. (audience laughs) So you'll enjoy this. But first, we wanna see if your reading has prepared you to answer some questions about the week's news. So give us a call at one trip of Wait, Wait, Wait. That's 1-888-924-8924. Now let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. - Hi, it's Nathan from Overland Park, Kansas. - Overland Park, Kansas, heard of it. What do you do there? - I'm a paralegal. - You're a paralegal, which I always thought sounded cooler than it is. - Yeah, it sounds a lot cooler than it is. - Yes, like you have paratrooper, that's cool, right? So paralegal I figured would be somebody who leaps in, like drops in from airplanes to do law. - Yeah, all I do is keep lawyers on target. - Really? - Yeah. - You have to like physically grab them sometimes and just like point them right. - It hasn't happened yet, but it wouldn't surprise me. - I bet. - Nathan, welcome to our show. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, it is a humorous woodworker whose podcast The Bodet Problem debuts soon. Listen to the pilot over at hatchspace.org. It's Tom Bodet. - Hi Nathan, Tom. (audience applauding) - Next, he's the co-host of The Podcast, The Nightly and is performing at the Fitler Club in Philadelphia, February 20th and 21st. It's Josh Gondelman. - Hello, how are you doing? Thank you for all your power work. And joining us again, the co-host of The Handsome Podcast and producer of the AppleTV.com sceney in The Good Light, nominated for an Oscar this year. It's TIGNATARO. (audience cheering) - How's it going? - So welcome to the show, Nathan. You're going to play Who's Bill this time? Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations. We found in the week's news your job correctly. Identify or explain just two of them do that. You will win our prize, the choice of your voicemail from any of us. Are you ready to go? - Yep. - All right, here is your first quote. - It's Starbucks, Pursus Duncan. - That was an ABC reporter summing up the big game happening this weekend. What's the game? - That's the Super Bowl? - The Super Bowl! That's right! (audience applauding) Yay! The Super Bowl. It's not just a match-up between two cities, Seattle and Boston, it's a contest between two different brands of terrible coffee. (audience laughing) The Seahawks versus the Patriots. It's not the marquee match-up the NFL hope for. For example, out of more than 100 players on both rosters, not a single one of them is engaged to Taylor Swift. (audience laughing) - Look, it's not that exciting because everybody's on the same side of this. I like everyone in America, I'm a New England Patriots fan, and so there's just no tension. - They truly are America's team. - Everybody loves them and everybody is on board with the thing I just said. (audience laughing) - But here's a question, you are a genuine Patriots fan. - Yeah. - And everybody hated the Patriots for a long time. - And that just made me stronger. - I understand that. Chicagoans, you understand that? - Yes. - Yeah, you thrive in their hatred. But so then the people associated with the hated Patriots - Yeah. - Namely Tom Brady and Bill Belichick. They left and moved on to other things and much, much younger women. (audience laughing) We'll see, Bill Belichick, people know, Bill Belichick is an innovator on the field and off. Most people criticize an old man for dating a woman, half his age. He said, "No, I'm gonna date a woman one-third my age." (audience laughing) People said it couldn't be done mathematically. - I know. - I didn't know that Super Bowl was this weekend. - You didn't. (audience laughing) You didn't come up in your social schedule? - Nor theirs. - No, apparently. - You represent that swath of our audience. - Yeah. - Yes. - People think I'm gonna be interested in the Super Bowl. I remember when we first got our handyman at our house and he's from Philadelphia and he's very into all of the Philadelphia teams. - The term is sports. - Yes, of the sports teams. And I remember the first time when he came over, he was like, "Hey, did you see the, you know, whatever, Philly game?" And I was like, "Oh, wrong lesbian. Let me get my wife." (audience laughing) And my short hair throws people. - Sure, of course. - And they direct a lot of sports talk to me, but it's, it's Stephanie. - You're, you're so outside of it. You're going like, "Hey, did you see the baseball Philadelphia?" - Yeah. - But you couldn't get the licensing rights to say the name of the team. - That's the, that's the last time I talk sports. - Nine percent. Well, your next quote is the slogan for a new government mascot. - Mine, baby, mine. - That is what Coli says. And Coli is the new government mascot, encouraging us to mine more what? - Coli, yes. - This week, the U.S. Department of the Interior debuted Coli, the talking lump of Coli (audience laughing) and his sidekick, Canary. (audience laughing) - They have kind of a love hate relationship. - Well, Canary, this day. - Look a little wobbly. (audience laughing) - So, this is all real. You may think we have made this up. Coli is a cartoon lump of Col with eyes and mouth. He's wearing work boots, a safety vest, and a hard hat. He's very adorable. And so is his catchphrase. We just have three hours of oxygen left down here. (audience laughing) - I hate to correct you, Peter, but because this is a Trump regime project, it's not actually a lump of Coli. It's a baseball and blackface. (audience laughing) - Come on. (audience laughing) I can't believe you hate that joke more than you hate the New England Patriots. (audience laughing) - When I was growing up, our parents were threatening us with a lump of Coli at Christmas if we didn't behave ourselves. - Right. - This is not a social icon of reward, should I say. - Right, yeah. - Our children were told that if they didn't behave, they would get a lump of Col and our son Max earnestly asked, well, if that does happen, can I still play with it? (audience laughing) - Yeah, we call him Coli. - Yeah, I was about to say, maybe that's where Coli came from, some bad child. I mean, Coli, it's, I don't know what it is. - My son isn't bad. - Okay, you're sound I'm sure is. - You're just threatening. - I understand. (audience laughing) A lovely child. Meanwhile, Coli is definitely looking at a trademark lawsuit from E. Coli, the mascot of diarrhea. (audience laughing) - It does seem like if you're diarrhea, you'd want a mascot. - You would, yeah. - Yeah. - You're diarrhea. - You're sitting around with your marketing people and you're going, look, we gotta do something about my reputation. - Right, yeah. - Generations of negative PR. - All right, your final quote is from an article in the New York Times about the hottest new dining trend. - Waste, no time chewing. - That's about the growing group of people who are taking all their meals in the form of what? - A shake? - Yeah, or liquid, or goo, it is often called. People apparently want to maximize their nutrition while saving time and effort. So they're eating packets of goo instead of food. It is a powerful rebuttal to those who believe you're supposed to enjoy your life. (audience laughing) Nutrient goo, according to the Times, is more popular than ever, even for people with teeth. - And is that the name of the product, nutrient goo? - It is off, yeah, the Times calls it goo. - But it's called nutrient goo? - Yes. - Well, well, generic. - Great marketing team, what do you say? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - From the people who brought you diarrhea. - Here's nutrient goo. - I mean, they just left goo-trients sitting right there on the table. - I know. - The New York Times called them aspirationally branded meal replacement. - It's, why do we only get the parts of the future that stink? - It's really true. (audience laughing) - Truly, I thought we were gonna have flying cars by now and instead it's just like, oh, no pizza soup. - Yeah. (audience laughing) - I mean, this is something that the astronauts were doing in like a 1962, right? - Right. - And so what is, I mean, it's just, 'cause it's catching on now. - 'Cause this guy, the idea is like everybody's so busy. Everybody's got so much to do. Nobody wants to take the time to have to make or apparently chew a meal, right? They just want some of the mama bird, their food for them. So it's to save time. Yes, right. What's everybody so busy doing? Unemployment's going way up. Everybody's got more time they've ever had in their lives. People should be like a long meal trend. They're inventing goo. Yeah, exactly. Bill, how did Nathan do in our quiz? We're FickScore, Nathan. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you so much. Drink up if you drink it. Drink up if you drink it, boy. And we want to wish it. Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Tom, there's a new travel trend that has said to refresh your perspective and bring you peace when you're flying, intentionally sitting where. Oh, I saw this story in the middle seat. Yes, in the middle seat. Some people are actually really into getting that dreaded middle seat on airplanes. One of these perverts wrote on TikTok that the middle seat was, quote, like a mid-air cuddle that you don't deserve, but you are privileged to have. Oh, that's a very sad person, right? Did you read that in the Epstein files? Or is that somewhere else? I agree with them because the thing we all want in a plane is to have the guy in the middle seat extend his arms and say, come on, sweetheart, I want to be the middle spoon. I've been stuck in the middle seat. Many of the things don't always go our way. And I do find that there's a certain thing you have to do-- you've got to bring your world in very close. It's like you've got to erase the id and just accept life as it just came at you. And there's something very spiritual about that I admit. You sound like somebody talking how they got through 30 years in prison. Well, it's like that. It's like that. Yeah. Have you ever seen-- have you ever flown on a plane or in the middle seat? There's like these little scratch marks on the train parking. Yeah. The day is at the hours of the flight. [MUSIC PLAYING] Coming up, a secret is revealed in our bluff a listener game called Unchipolate Weight Weight to Play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Weight Weight Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and W.E.C. Chicago, this is Weight Weight Don't Tell Me, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with TIG, Nataro, Josh Gondelman, and Tom Baudet. And here again is your host at the Stuttabaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois. Peter Sago. Thank you so much, Bill, right now. Thank you, everybody. Right now, it's time for the Weight Weight Don't Tell Me Bluff the listener game called Unchipolate Weight Weight to Play or Game in the Air. How you are on Weight Weight Don't Tell Me. Hi, Peter. My name is Laura, and I'm from Durango, Colorado. Oh, Durango is a beautiful place. I have been there. Well, I spend most of my time embarrassing my eight-year-old son. OK. Let me ask you a question. What does he find about you that's most embarrassing? Annoyingly positive. Top talks, you slaying from his generation out of context. Oh, that's the worst. Do you ever try to make like a 6'7 joke? Oh, totally. In fact, I'm working on making that fall right out of style. Yeah, you're-- keep at it. Well, welcome to the show, Laura. You're going to play our game on which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Laura's topic? Shh. It's a secret. A secret got out this week, and it's not just that the nutrient goo everybody's eating is made of people. Our panelists are going to tell you how somebody's beans got spilled. Pick the one who's telling the truth, and you'll win the weight weight of your choice and your voice mail. You ready to play? Yes, sir. Let's hear first from Josh Gondelman. Spectators at a recent boxing match were exposed to a moment of hair-raising violence. Literally, have you ate King's Lee eBay, landed an uppercut so ferocious it knocked his opponent's toupee clean off his head? The crowd was shocked, even though we can all agree that being bald is a cool and hot way for a guy to look. And the competitor himself, Gerald Miller, whose nickname is Big Baby, perhaps because of his smooth scalp, was surprised as well. I wasn't sure it was coming off, but I felt a draft, like AC hitting my scalp. Miller said, sure enough, I look at the jumbo tron and my hair is flapping, and the crowd is going crazy. Undeterred by his follicular malfunction, Miller tore the wig the rest of the way off his head and threw it into the crowd. He went on to win the fight in a tight split decision, fittingly emerging victorious by a hair. A boxer's secret that he's bald is revealed when he gets hit so hard his toupee flies off in the middle of about. Your next story of someone's cover being blown comes from Tig Netaro. This week, Berda Martin found something shocking in her parents' attic. When she was looking for potential critters running around, all she found were wooden toys and a box labeled yearbooks. She decided to take an old trip down memory lane and look at the yearbooks. However, when she opened the first one, she was shocked to her core. There was a full page picture of her mother with, quote unquote, "most likely to be late printed across the page." This was particularly shocking to Berda because her mother is the mismanners, aka Judith Martin, aka the reason your elbows do not touch the dinner table. In the yearbook, for the next year, her mom was, quote unquote, "most likely to flip off the teacher." And there was a huge picture of her double birds out on a motorcycle. Berda brought the yearbook downstairs to her mother and mismanners just said, yeah, I was awesome then. Now, please set the table for dinner. Miss Manners' daughter discovers that her mother was once a delinquent. Your last story of a secret spilled comes from Tom Bodette. Justin and Haley Bieber made headlines with their red carpet appearance at last Sunday's Grammy Awards. Justin's captain underpants performance later in the show left few secrets to hide except for one. On Sunday, after the award show, Justin Bieber skipped the after party because he had a shift as an Uber driver. It's the only way I can unwind. I love driving people to the airport, explained Bieber. So after the Grammy, he's just and slipped into the night into his Yukon and into his alias, Uber driver, Vladislav. He was enjoying his quiet evening of being just a regular guy until he got a ride request from a customer named Anna Stasia Chekhov. When Miss Chekhov entered the vehicle, she said, hello, Vladislav. How is your night? Justin turned to face her. Haley? Haley looks hard at the father of her child. Our record sales this bad? It turns out that both of them were craving some Hoi Poloi face time and ended up with each other. Haley said she was just relieved that Justin was wearing pants. So one of these secrets got out this week. Was it from Josh Gondleman, a boxer revealed to the world that he was bald when his opponent hit him so hard his to pay flew off? From Tignitaro, Miss Manners' daughter discovers that her gentile mother wasn't always like that. Or from Tom Baudet, Justin Bieber secretly drives an Uber under an alias and was discovered when he picked up his wife. Which of these was the real secret revealed this week? I think I'll have to go with Josh's story just to support to pay wearing men everywhere. All right. You're going to go with Josh's story about the boxer who's to pay flew off when he got hit that hard. Well, we actually have here some tape of the person whose secret was revealed. I've had it here before, so I was like, God, I hope he goes back, but it's cool. That was Boxer Gerald Miller talking about how we had his to pay knocked off this week. I think you accidentally played Miss Manners. It's possible, yeah. That's what you really sound like. You've never heard her. Have you? You've only seen her picture. Congratulations, Lori. You got it right. You earned a point for Josh, and you've won our prize, the voice of your choice on your voice mail. Congratulations. Thank you so much for playing. Thank you. And now the game we call Not My Job. When Michael Freet's was a kid, he really loved his local library so much so that when he grew up, he got a job there. And he loved that job so much that he started a tick-tock celebrating the joys of reading. And he was so good at that that he was selected to be the host of the new version of the beloved kid's program, Reading Rainbow. Michael, from one book nerd to another, welcome to Weight Weight, don't tell me. [APPLAUSE] So congratulations on reading Rainbow, which just was relaunched by PBS on YouTube. It's very exciting. This must have been a thrill for you to get this job. Did you grew up on Reading Rainbow? Like so many did? Oh, I absolutely did. The VAR Burton is one of my all-time favorite human beings in the entire world. That's how I saw myself as a reader. I was like, "Hey, this guy makes it so fun. He's having all these zany adventures. I was home-school, so my mom and dad raised us on routes." So I was like, "Why is a root sky on Reading Rainbow?" And that came to terms, and I was like, "Well, that's cool. This is even better." Yeah. So I'm the biggest VAR Burton fan in the entire world. He has that effect on people. How has the torch past, did VAR Burton, like, knight you with a bookmarker, hand over the animated butterfly, too? How did it work? I wish it was that special. I've not yet had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Burton. I'm just trying to make him proud with my obnoxious enthusiasm for libraries and literacy. Well, in books, and I hope it's coming across well on YouTube to all the kid viewers out there. So it is genuine, I think. Nobody doubts that. You've talked a lot how the library was your sort of safe space as a kid. Did you have a favorite book when you were a kid? You know what? You're not going to be able to see it because it's my camera's blurred. I have a full tattoo sleeve of my favorite books, so I love where the wild things are. I'm a big fan of Bertrand Scary, Richard Scary books, Stray Canona of Frog and Toad. But one of my favorite books is "But Not Buddy" by Christopher Paul Curtis. It's because that was the first book where I saw myself look like a character in the books. Well, how old were you when you got your first book tattoo? I think I got my first book tattoo when I was 24, so it's been almost 12 years. What was the first book you had tattooed? The first one was, that is a good question, it was actually, it was either where the wild things are or I have a library card of Arthur Reed from PBS tattooed on me. Wow, wow. And when you walked into the tattoo parlor at the age of 24 and you said I would like this library card with Arthur the art of art, Arthur Reed, did the guy just look at you and say, "Oh, what a cliche." You know what he really did? I think because I showed him like, at the time I had close to 40 library cards, so I just brought in my library card collection and he was like, "Okay, you're all about it, that's okay, that's okay." It's alright, whatever works, it's okay. The giant biker across the room getting a tattoo of DW on his chest kind of nodding. Mr. Ratburn, nothing to me. You spent so much time at your hometown library, eventually you went back and got a job there and you eventually became head librarian, right? Or. I did, yes, I got my library card at that same library as a kid. Excuse me, I became a shelver. I went to college, got my bachelor's degree, got my master's degree, became a children's librarian and then a marketing librarian and then I eventually became the supervising librarian of that scene. Wow, and once you acquired that immense power, what is the first thing you did with it? Did you shush someone? Oh, yeah. You know what? I think a lot of people learn that once you become a library person, you're not a true library person until you've been shushed by someone visiting the library. And I've been treated by anywhere from 12 to 15 people talking to the visitors at the desk, other co-opers and they're like, "Sir, this is a library, you work here." I like to go into libraries just to shush everybody. I just like to just be like, shh, shh, shh, shh, even if nobody's saying anything. Yeah. I just love to shush in a library. We're creating a new rickstees. We're just going around the world. Shushing people. Shushing people. We have covered on this show the fact that many libraries report that very weird things show up in books being returned that have been used as bookmarks. Has this happened to you? Have you pulled out odd things out of books? I have. I pulled. I mean, definitely quite a few receipts. I pulled someone's Social Security card out of the book before. I'm like, "Oh, I know way too much about this person." I pulled some baloney. Baloney. Wait, what are we talking about? People use, people are reading a book and they like have to close the book. They so they grab what is near to hand and put it in the book as a bookmark. Oh, okay. Thank you. Yeah. What's the context of this conversation? Yeah, I understand. Let's say you have a little kid, however old, who doesn't like to read. Says they don't. Anyway, do you have like a magic book that you have in your pocket, metaphorically speaking, to whip out and like convert that kid into a reader? You know what? I don't have necessarily a magic book, but I think I love, I found that so many kids always have what they love on their person, either they have a Spider-Man hat or nowadays they have K-pop Demon Hunter shirts or the Super Bowl is coming up. They'll be rocking their Patriot's jerseys or their, or their sea ottersies. And I just start talking about that. And I'm like, did you know that there's football books? There's basketball books. There's actually books about K-pop Demon Hunters. I'm pretty sure there's someone out there trying to write a bad bunny book as this BS. So I think the magic of books is just saying, you know what, you can read, you can read graphic novels, you can read Dogman one thousand times, and they're like, are you sure? Because every other adult says, that's not okay. And I'm like, they're wrong. Read, read away, reading the pages, you're a worthy reader. Can I ask a health question of you, Michael? How many times can a parent safely read everybody poops to their child before they get actual brain damage? The child or the adult? I was thinking of the adult. Yeah, I understand. Well, Michael Threats, it is a joy to talk to you. And this time we've invited you to play a game we're calling. Don't read the rainbow. Taste the rainbow. Oh no. You host reading rainbow, so we thought we'd ask you about the candy with the slogan, taste the rainbow. That is of course, Skittles. Answer two or three questions about Skittles candies. You'll win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone. They might choose from our show for their voice mail. So Bill, who is library and Michael Threats playing for? I think Louis of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. All right. You ready to do this? I'll give it a try. Give it a try. Here's your first question. Packs of Skittles come in a variety of different flavors from the classic flavors to tropical fruit flavors. Well, one limited edition flavor that came out in 2019 was not so successful, which was it? A, suppository Skittles. B, zombie Skittles were one in every 20 Skittles tasted rotten. Or C, Zootopia Skittles each designed to taste like each of the star animals in that movie. Man, penguin flavor. Since the skill I'm trying, I'm trying to channel Marshall Lynch and I think I'm gonna go with suppository Skittles. Suppository Skittles. Truly the most beast mode of all Skittles. Truly, truly. No, it was zombie Skittles. Really? It really was. Zombie Skittles flavors included petrifying citrus punch, mummified melon, and every now and then rotten zombie. Wow. Wow. All right. He's all right. You got two more chances. In 2018, a spokesman for Mars, the company that makes Skittles, had to issue an official statement to shut down a conspiracy theory that was spreading like wildfire alleging what? A, Skittles are actually candied fish row. B, all Skittles take exactly the same. They're just in different colors. Or C, each of them has a microdose of cocaine, which is why they're so addictive. I really want to go with C, and I'm gonna be so sad if it is C, but I'm gonna go with B. You're right. The rumor was that all Skittles, just exactly the same, they're just at different colors. It's not true, and I am proud to say it was a rumor started by a report on NPR. Oh, there you go. All right. This is great, Michael. If you get this last one, you win. Skittles are known for their very weird commercials. Which of these was a real Skittles commercial that was broadcast somewhere in the world? Was it A, a commercial with a huge anthropomorphic tube sock that generated static electricity by rubbing in the carpet and shocks an old man on the tongue? Was it B, a man who milks Skittles from a giraffe, which is eating a rainbow, or C, a mother who feeds her adult son Skittles through an umbilical cord. I am gonna go with B with the giraffe. You're gonna go with B, the man who milks Skittles from a giraffe that's eating a rainbow. That's right, but they were all real. Those were all real Skittles commercials. Bill, how did Michael Threats do in our quiz? Two out of three is a win, Michael. Proved his talent. Congratulations. Michael Threats new book is I'm so happy you're here, a celebration of library joy, and he is the host of the new edition of Reading Rainbow. Michael Threats, thank you so much for joining us. I'm Wait, wait, don't tell me. What a pleasure to talk to you. Take care. In just a minute, because a smile is unavailable, we let something else be our umbrella. and our listener, Limerick Challenge. Call one triple-late weight weight to journalism. The air will be back in a minute with more of "Way, Way, Don'ts, Army" from NPR. From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is "Way, Way, Don't Tell Me The NPR News Quiz." I'm Bill Curtis, we are playing this week with Tom Boat-Dett, Take the tarot and Josh Gondelman. And here we are going to share a host at these two to Baker Theater and Chicago Illinois. Peter Sago. Thank you, Bill. Thank you so much in just a minute. If you like Limericks, you've come to the only place. To play our listener, Limerick Challenge, give us a call. One triple-late weight weight. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Tom, according to Business Insider, there's been a rise in name-shame for a certain group of men, guys named What? It's because it's so kind like Jason's. No, because it's become so infamous and associated with a person that nobody wants to be associated with. Oh, too many are. Oh, Donald. Donald? No. Now that you pointed out, there are a lot of candidates for this answer. Yeah, I mean, there's a whole list going through my head. Yeah, well, it turns out more people were associated with this guy in real life than they ever wanted us to find out about. Oh, God. Yeah, Richard. No. Yeah. No. Wait, Richard, what are you talking about? I'm talking about Epstein. No, Epstein's first name. Yes, Richard Epstein. Just a real meme podiatrist. What's his name? It is? It's Epstein. It's like, it's God. Nobody tell her. Like, listen, this is, this is elder abuse right here. Okay. This is what you're doing. Okay, but the good news is we now know who is not on that list. Yeah. That's not a man. Yeah, right. Happy to be. Why can't I think of it? I don't know. I no longer remember the answer. I no longer remember the question. Yeah. Where are we? Right. Is it relevant at this point? I would say. It's pretty relevant. And it's not, well, I know it's not Richard. For God's sake. It's somebody, somebody say it so I can smack my forehead and we can move on with the show. Let's have everybody say it on three. One, two, three. Jeffrey. Jeffrey. Doesn't even sound familiar. Yeah. Well, that's a good man then. That is a good man. Yeah, more and more guys named Jeffrey are choosing to go as Jeff to distance themselves from famous pedophile and e-mailer, Jeffrey Epstein. It's very hard to be a Jeffrey these days. I get it. But come on. There are way more famous Jeffries than just Epstein. There's also Dahmer. According to the reporter who wrote the story whose name is, of course, Jeffrey. "The name you put forth can have a huge impact on your career trajectory. So if you're a Jeffrey, try to drop that name, go by something with less baggage. Like, Galaine." Wait. Is this the last journalism left in the Washington Post? Is Jeff Bezos himself writing an article? Exactly. Be nice to Jeffries. Oh, wow. After that, actually, after that this week, that may be the worst Jeffrey, I think. Yeah. I don't know about worse. I'll put it bottom three. Question for you, Josh. This week the New York Times investigated why try as they might to stop poets keep doing what? They just can't stop piercing the veil of the unknown with language and insight. Sure. No, not that. Then I'm going to have to have a hint. So much depends upon this hint for you. They can't stop like pausing at weird times. Yes, they can't stop reciting poetry in the annoying reciting poetry voice. This week, the New York Times asked a great question, what's up with the voice people use when they're reciting poetry? That voice, the tone that poets performing and preaching potential impose on their work. Kind of an artsy shatner, if you will. Yes. Turns out a lot of poets just recite that way because they think that's how you're supposed to sound. I mean, without the voice, people might catch on that your poem is just regular writing with extra pauses. I like the idea of stripping away that kind of artifice and just kind of like giving it real casually. Show like and pay how they do a summer's day. I don't know. I want more lovely and more temperate, but whatever. Thanks. You do you. Coming up, it's Lightning Film The Blank, but first is the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-924-8924. You can find us most weeks right here at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, or you can catch us on the road. We will be in beautiful Savannah, Georgia on March 26th. The show just went on sale, so grab the good seats now. And if you are in Chicago, and prefer our show without all the annoying questions, come check out our special comedy grab bag live stand-up show, March 11th, "The Den Theater" in Wicker Park. Adam Burke will be hosting along with Alzo Slade, Joelle Nicole Johnson. And more special guests, tickets for all our shows will be at nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on weight weight, don't tell me. Hi, this is Lee Guthrieff, calling from Harrisonburg, Virginia. Harrisonburg, Virginia. Okay, what do you do there? I'm a senior data scientist at a health policy research center. It's called the hilltop in Stude, and mom's two great kids, a six-year-old major, and a two-year-old Suzy. Oh, excellent. Can I ask since we've been on the topic this week, what are their favorite books? Right now, my son is super into the Camp Cretaceous books, and my daughter really big into palpow fish right now. Palpow fish, oh yeah, we have that book we've read it many times. And the sequel was disappointing because it goes on antidepressants. Which sequel? I feel like they're like six of them. Yeah, I know. I'm just an antidepressant one. We'll keep an eye out. Please, please do. Well, welcome to the show, Lee. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news related Lemrex with a last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, and two of the Lemrex will be a winner. Are you ready to go? I guess we'll find out. Here is your first Lemrex. Handling bags and umbrella and phone. I can manage the rain on my own. New tech is the key. My umbrella's hands free. It's hovering held by a drone. Yes, do you love using umbrellas, but just wish there were many, many more ways for it to break? Well, you need the high tech flying umbrella drone. A YouTube inventor has created a drone that hovers right over your head with an umbrella wherever you go. Now you can stay dry and look like you're being chased by an adorable UFO. It's actually really amazingly innovative technology to make sure that it follows you around automatically. All you have to do is make sure you are the first thing it sees when it hatches. You know, even if it had a drone, I would for sure put down my drone umbrella at the front of the restaurant and then leave it there if it's not raining. Oh, it would be so weird because like all restaurants that have just piles of abandoned drone umbrellas just sort of hovering there sadly. Here is your next Lemrex. Pet friendly signs aren't all that. My Miss Luna finds no welcome math. Hotel intake logs are drowning in dogs. But no one wants me and my pet. Yes, that's right. Cat owners are struggling with a big problem all the hotels and stores that say they're pet friendly by pet just mean dogs. Maybe it's because bringing your dog in vacation makes sense. But bringing your cat on vacation is insane. Look Frisky, the Berkshires. I always assume people travel with their cats because they're getting rid of them. Leave them in a distant town. That explains the look of their faces and their cat carriers. Here's your last Lemrex. Film students think they are groovy, but they suck and you cannot disprove me. Their will isn't strong to focus for long. Those kids cannot sit through a movie. That's right. We all remember when the teacher rolling into TV and playing a movie was the best thing that could happen in a classroom. But now professors complain that even film students no longer have the attention span to make it through an entire movie. If you are a film student, you're signing up to watch boring movies. That's how we know their art. I bet if they just popped up a little message, fake notification of that, every 15 seconds, they'd stay with it. Because their brains just need to be fed an interruption. Exactly. That's probably the problem. They can't do it. And some professors. Let's go to commercial. Some professors got so tired of trying to get their students to come down to the screening room and sit through a movie. They said, "Okay, fine. You can stream the movie for the assignment online." But then they found out that they often don't finish the movie. This is true. One professor did that. And then, as a test, asked the students how the movie ended and half of them did not know. They're all like, "What? The Titanic sank?" Bill, how did Lee do in our quiz? Three and oh. Congratulations, Lee. Well done. Thank you. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. [MUSIC PLAYING] Now it's on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now with two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Josh and Tom, each have three TIGs, one. OK. Well, take this means you are in second place behind Tom and Josh, that means you're going to have to go first. You ready? Put a positive spin on it. Yeah, I did. I did. Try to make you feel better. All right, clock will start and begin your first question. Here we go, fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the White House said it would withdraw 700 ice agents from a blank. Many apples. Yeah. Following a Russian strike on Monday, tens of thousands of people in blank were left without heat. Oh, I know this. Yet you must prove that by saying it out loud. You crane. Yes, you crane. Oh my god. On Wednesday, Ryan Ruth was sentenced to life in prison for the attempted assassination of blank two years ago. Trump. Right. This week a man of Massachusetts started his house on fire when he tried to remove the snow in his roof by blanking. Dancing. No, by using a blowtorch on the snow. In response to consumer complaints, Blank said they were lowering the price of their potato chips. Lays. Yes, Lays. On Tuesday, it was announced that Josh Demara would replace Bob Eiger as CEO of Blank. Disney. Right. This week the Guardian issued a correction saying a formatting error caused them to give the movie "Milani" a rating of one star instead of the intended blank. Zero. Right. [APPLAUSE] But their review starts out so well, quote, this is one of those rare unicorn films that doesn't have a single redeeming quality. Even worse, after they took the starback, they issued another correction. They said earlier editions indicated you should not see this movie. We meant to say you should never see any movie ever again because movies are ruined now. [LAUGHTER] Bill, how did TIG do on our quiz? Wow, she got six right. 12 more points. Total of 13 puts her in the lead. All right. All right, I'm going to arbitrarily cheat. Josh to go next. So Josh fill in the blank. On Tuesday, a temporary spending bill was passed ending the partial blank. A government shutdown? Right, on Thursday, the nuclear pack between the US and blank expired. Iran? No, Russia. This week, the Supreme Court ruled that blank would be allowed to use its new congressional map. California. Right. In Pennsylvania on Groundhog Day, punk Satani Phil predicted blank. Six more weeks of winter? Right. This week, an internal memo revealed that employees of Krakow Barrel are required to blank when they travel for work. Uh, hmm. [LAUGHTER] Smile? [LAUGHTER] Only eat at Krakow Barrel. On Sunday, Billy Eilish and Bad Bunny with a big winners at the 2026 blank awards. Uh, Grammy Awards. Right on Tuesday, struggling chain, pizza restaurant blank hot. And that's what it was closing. Hundreds of locations. Department of sanitation, pizza. Right. This week, a man in Iceland was billed for driving 1 million kilometers in his rental van during the month of January. Something he could have only done if he blanked. Something he'd only have done if he traveled faster than the speed of light. Exactly. I'm going to give it to you. If he drove the van around the earth 25 times, going the speed of sound. Ah, sound. It's unclear whether rental companies automated invoice system thinks the mandrow of his bus around the earth 25 times at 800 miles an hour, but they are trying to charge him almost $200,000 for the privilege, even worse, the company is charging him an extra $25 for not returning the bus with a full tank of experimental jet fuel. [LAUGHTER] Bill, how'd Josh do in our quiz? Certainly, that very well and six right, 12 more points, total of 15 puts him in the lead. All right. So how many then does Tom Bonette need to win? Six to Ties, seven to win? All right, here we go, Tom. This is for the game. On Wednesday, President Trump said America should move on from the blank files. The-- [LAUGHTER] The Jeffrey-- It'd be hilarious, and now you can't remember his last name. Jeffrey, Epstein, Epstein, Epstein files. This week, the White House announced that the blank center would close for construction for two years. The-- Oh, yeah, the Kennedy Center. The Kennedy Center, yes. This week, a man in California was arrested for getting high on meth and blanking. [LAUGHTER] Just blanking? That's-- That's open-ended, like viewing meth and-- I don't know, barking like a seal on sunset boulevard. That is correct. [LAUGHTER] No, for stealing an airplane on Tuesday, a Doberman pincher named Penny, one top honors at the blank. Oh, the, you know, the big dog show in New York. Yes, the Westminster dog show. This week, Cybercurrency Blank dropped to its lowest price in two years. Bitcoin. Right, this week, a hospital in France had to be evacuated after a World War I artillery show was found in blank. In the-- in the restroom. No, in a patient's butt. Close. Everyone is OK. After a hospital to lose, had to be partially evacuated when a 20-year-old man walked into the emergency room. Uncomfortable, I would assume. And said something had gotten stuck in his butt somehow. Once the doctors realized what it was, they immediately called firefighters, police, and explosive experts. So there would be more people to laugh at the guy. Bill, did Tom do well enough to win? Well, he got four right, eight more points. But his 11 came in short. And guess who is the winner? Josh! [LAUGHTER] With 15. [APPLAUSE] In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict what Super Bowl ad will we all be talking about next week. But first, let me tell you all. Wait, wait, don't tell me. It's a production of NPR and WB Easy Chicago. An association with urgent haircare productions, Doug, Berman, Ben Neville, and Lundoverlord. Philip Gaudica writes our lemurics, our public address announcer, is Paul Friedman. Thanks to the staff and crew here at the Studebaker Theater. B.J. leaderman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Nornbuss, and Lily and King. Special thanks this week to Blythe Robertson and Monica Hickey, Peter Gwynne won Best in Show at the Westminster Producer Show. And the joy is our visual host, technical direction to some Lord of White, our CFO's Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilog. The executive producer of Wait, wait, don't tell me he's Mr. Michael Danforth. Now panel, what Super Bowl ad will we all be talking about after the big game on Sunday? Tom Baudette. Elijah Wood announced Skittles' new die-free candies with a call to taste the beige. Oh, Josh Skondleman. Obviously, it's the Dunkin' Spot where Matt Damon and Ben Affleck pound cold brew shots with famous Massachusetts celebrity, the Ghost of Benjamin Franklin. And take the tarot. The commercial that everyone will be talking about is next year's Super Bowl, half-time performance by the Andrew formerly known as Prince. [LAUGHTER] Ooh. Well, if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, don't tell me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Tom Baudette, Josh Skondleman, and Dick Nitaro. Thanks to our fabulous audience here. It's good to make your theater, each and every one of you. Thanks to all of you out there, wherever you may be for listening. I'm Peter Segal. We'll see you next week. [MUSIC PLAYING] This is NPR.