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Lev Fer - Lesbian Metallica - Episode 944

99m 47s

Lev Fer - Lesbian Metallica - Episode 944

The podcast blends chaotic personal stories with sharp, satirical humor, focusing on absurd family dynamics, petty betrayals, and political commentary. A central storyline involves a dog that frequently soils its crate, leading to a series of comedic mishaps, including a sister leaving a hose on and flooding the backyard. The hosts recount a series of ridiculous anecdotes about roommates, financial theft, and emotional conflicts, often using exaggerated tones to mock serious or political topics. A key critique is directed at Lisa Trigger’s aggressive public commentary, which the hosts argue is hypocritical and emotionally driven. The conversation shifts to broader cultural observations, including the over-serious tone of modern comedy and politics, with jokes about mustaches, Nazi aesthetics, and political figures. The episode ends with promotional content for sponsors, including a coffee brand with a unique "Tonka Dalai" ingredient and a underwear brand featuring dual-pouch technology. Throughout, the tone remains irreverent, blending personal anecdotes with biting satire to create a chaotic yet engaging narrative.

Transcription

20239 Words, 102464 Characters

English
Fill her up. You're listening to the Gaston Digital Network. A couple of puns here and there, I enjoy a pod. Yeah, why not? I enjoy a pun. It depends on what the style is. Yeah, good or bad. One of these straight puns. Straight puns is crazy, but you know, whatever. He gets close of the punisher, that rules. It's like a big pun. Yeah. Hold on, I'm going to write that down. Where were you? Come on, dude. Get to the bones of it right here right now. Talk to me serious. Dude, I don't like how when I'm wearing glasses, you're not wearing glasses. We're supposed to be glasses, bros. Oh, I'll get my glasses. Get them. Have you seen get your glasses? Which glasses should I do? I'm getting a second pair, too. I do my frameless or should I do my framed? I say frameless. Frameless? Yeah. Okay. I think you got tiny monocles for this up. Just two monocles. I do want to bring back the monocle. Monocle will be sick to have. We are doing. Monica Lewinsky. We're doing a backyard podcast. Come on. That was good. Monica Lewinsky. We're podcasting from my backyard. It's the legionist, Skanks, Tristan Bowling, Louis J. Gomez, Big J. Okerson. We have an amazing guest hanging out with us here in the Cock fight podcast. Have had it for left fur with us today. Hello, buddy. Great to be here. What a place. It's beautiful. This is so much better than Louis' dump of a house. Thanks. It's backyard. Flood at his house. My sister is such a dumb fucking bitch. What are you doing now? So my dog's shitting her crate again. She's doing my dog. I don't like defiance. She shits in her crate. She also shits at gas digital. She did shitting at gas digital. Like three times. Well, no, she shits one time, but it was in three different areas. She's a problem shitter. You're talking dog or your sister? Seraphina. Seraphina, shits at gas digital. I'd eat that. But I love seraphina. My son. That's my old statement. So my eater turds. I wouldn't eat her turds, but I swear to God, I'll put my nose right up next to them and sniff them hard. Not that. That's what I've always said. This is an argument I've had where I couldn't make it a joke earlier. It's an argument you've had. It's crazy. What? So this is an argument you've had before? Not with you. I'm saying, no, my argument that if there's a hawk girl, if the only way you'd see her naked is to watch her shit, do you watch her shit? Yeah, of course. Yeah, of course. It's been a long time. Yeah. She had that argument with a random customer. No, listen, waiting in line. In a mirror at one time, we saw a headline about army hammers going on. And then we were like, Oh, shit. This is my day. I started with my, I went to the gym to box, had a great little box in session, left the dog in the crate for like an hour and a half. Not that long, hour and 15, maybe got back and shit, shitting the crate, pause covered in shit, come outside, hose her down. I have like dog shampoo outside and I leave it outside at this point. So I shampoo her down, get her shitty paws undone, right? Hose her down. She's cut. She's, no, she's soaking wet. I was like, I'm gonna throw in the pool so that she like, it's warmer water than the hose water. So I throw in the pool. She swims over, comes out. She runs past me until like I planted all these trees in the perimeter of my yard. She rents. She fucking dope. Another Mexican plant at them. Yeah. Well, I paid the Mexican to plant them. She dove head first into the dirt under the trees instead of rolling around. So then she was covered, head to toe and mud. So now I have to re fucking bath her. How is Kim conned in handling a puppy as we speak. Yeah, she got rid of it already. Shut up. That's what he got. Pause joke. Dog joke. Yes. Yeah. You bitch. You're on the show now. Yeah. Give me a favor. He walked me through how you came up with that. What are we doing here? And I hate to call it your reek a moment. So my sister also lost her job. Yes. Stupid bitch. Yeah. I'm fucking. Lewis. I don't know if it's makes more sense to tell it now in the middle or at the end of your story. But I always say something. It's funny as a finisher thing first. I mean, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So she lost her job. So she hit me up. It's the second time too. Stupid. Oh, she's like something the way you tell it. She's like pick a dilly cunt. Tell your she's like tell your cleaning lady to stay home for two weeks. Let me clean for you so I could pay rent. So I'm like fine. So I call my poor Mexican cleaning lady. Who also needs to pay rent? Please, sir. Please. You're about your cleaning lady's looking at her two kids. I have to say in one of your home. You have to figure out one of the kids looks exactly like Lewis. But Mr. Lewis. What about my rent? I fuck up such a piece of shit. So so she's cleaning for me. You're like extra shitty and up your apartment. No, she do better than the clean lady. She can get because she'll organize for me as well. So clean lady's. Oh, hello. Hello. Okay. Don't just nod when something happened for sure. Well, yeah, it dipped out, right? I think it's a cable. You need to stop smoking. That was a crazy reaction. No, she had it went out. We all looked over at. She just went. Yeah. And then she does. It's a part of the ride. But me because I was like dead. Did that not go out? It went out. I was nodding to say you guys are crazy. That went out just really. See what you're nodding. You were like, like, perfect. All according to plan so full. I was like, I'm live censoring you. Yeah. So my sister, she's cleaning for me today. The dog's just in the crate. Now I've been my dog twice today. She's fine. The dog's good. Bring her to gas digital with me because my sister. She's like, I'm going to clean for you and watch the dog tonight. But she's like, but I want to go to yoga for two and a half hours in the middle of the night. So I was like, now you're going to create my dog. She just shit in the crate. I'm not leaving her in the crate again. She'll shitter gases. She's going to shit anywhere. So my sister comes and she, she's cleaning out the crate in the backyard with the hose. And then it's nice they're helping her. It's creating a much think up a paper towel. It's crazy how much that happens because they generally don't shit. No, it's going to create one time. It was like, she was sick. It's happened maybe five times. And most of the time it's been she was sick. She wasn't sick today. She's just shitting the screen. Why are your puppies so sick? I have no idea. So it's sick with it. Yeah, fucking. Sir, if you use a six pop, sick puppies. These pizza. So that's good. Sick puppies. Yeah. So she sprays down the crate, right? And then leaves to go to yoga. I guess like an hour, I get home. Well, I get ready to come here. I come back out with the dog. I'm looking at the ground, looking at my backyard. And it's just like really wet. Like very likes like just puddles. Like it. I'm like, I'm like, it's really fast. Talking about it. Fuck is going on. We're supposed to get his burger dress. He's back there talking about his real. Now into what the shavings don't understand. Oh, did I schedule a boss for this? No, it was just like every every night, boss comes out here at two o'clock in the morning, goes, "Israel, israel, israel, israel, israel, israel, israel, israel, israel, israel, israel, israel, is And this fucking dumbass just left my hose on in my backyard. So my literally it's just like just I've Know how much water was just spilled into my lawn could be a major problem. Oh, please especially with the rain today Like it was it could kill your grass. It could drag your grass. Oh, no, dude Can I tell you something? Oh, I feel terrible Christine's out here for this because she definitely Doesn't want me to say I'm cheating on Christine Well, I can't help but say it right now. I don't know. She'd rather me say that than this Christine Christine. I killed Christine's father. Don't tell her Her father's fucking luck is just hug activated. I killed her mother No, this is she's not gonna let me say but I'll I'll take full blink didn't matter didn't matter what she said anyway But she called me and she was talking about you guys were gonna go do the scout for You guys are gonna do the scout for something you the first gang fest venue. Yeah, yeah, and when you guys were heading up there She was trying to figure out what she was gonna drop the dog off in the city Exactly what you're gonna do or have some rick of art and louis she called me and she goes Louis is his sister could come here and like dogs it for us the thing and I was like absolutely not and that is based solely on I can't believe Lewis had the audacity to offer that all you do is tell stories of your sister doing terrible things Well, she stole from me again Well, she stole and lied and said she didn't steal she blamed James for the lie about my hey You should litter in your house by yourself where you have loose cash in fucking Here's money. I left out a $20 bill to see if she'll take it today. I wish I could I left it out like underneath my TV kind of crumpled up. I didn't leave it out like I literally left it And I'm very you know, I'm going to be a little bit of a fuck. I'm crazy. So I really wish I could Shit, you know, that's how I remember I tell I got Metzger when Metzger and me lived together You probably left money out. No, it was worth money. He was take he was stealing from me every night He was going into we had a me and my ex-wife had a changed you know, one of those just per change and all the time And we put like dollars and stuff in it too. I'd say the story is curled just fessed up to this in years Many years ago, but it was a crazy thing it hit me like a pretty low point in his life. He was going on my room and then One point I go. I guess I go. I started realizing it. I was a kill. He's you know hard it is to silently lift a giant jug full of It's why we're gone. He did what we're gone all the time. He's like perfectly balancing it back to his room It is the sliving is just One coin at a time So then I just make sure like really the change like shift slightly because the cat runs by it J's and Ben eyes open Taking that fucking change. Well, one way you notice is it just becomes much less like silver change and and a lot of pain And then also you said we were putting doll we would put like dollars in there too. Oh, yeah, and we had dollars in our pocket And we put it so that's so hard to get the money out of oh my god Really fucking try to make it squirt He saw it. You're ready to like take it to coin start of the bank It's such a pain. Yeah, so I would probably got a fork and to get it out But you know, that is a full errand when you have that thing Siphoning it out like yeah, Jay's eyes. Jay's eyes open up. He has somebody touching the forks my forks so One day I was like how do I prove he's doing it? So then I put like a mark on the thing and aimed in a certain direction The jug and then when we came home it was like in a different spot. You're like fuck I was opening for Bobby Kelly in a gig and we had a long drive and I was talking to him about how like bummed I was I don't know what to do like I'm so non-confrontational that I'm like if I confront him about it It's like in my mind. I'm like we're already in like I got my fucking hand like in his mouth with him against the wall You know, I mean like I'm like we're getting volatile And he was like dude he goes here's what you do he goes get a padlock for your door Rick is fucking jaw you wait till he goes to pee in the night Behind the curtain you crack You may have to sleep in the shower You put a fucking you put a master lock and a sock And you go and you crack them on his fucking skull here's what you do dude you put you get most of the change from that job You put it in a pillowcase and your fucking beat the shit out of it. You want to change your fuck you want to change your fuck now You got the change you tell him you got to change your fucking knee So I You go see padlock goes and then it'll be it'll force him to talk about it Like bring it up and I go all right, so I got a padlock and all that happened was that I just had to open my room With a fucking key on a padlock every night when I came home He never acknowledged it at all. He just stopped stealing and I was like that sucks And it turns out curd is an expert locks He's coming down upside down for the seal it made him a better thief. Yeah, he came through my window now I had to learn through adversity Do you ever see you ever see you from a roommate? Do you care was a funny weed? Yo, am I right or am I right Alex, right? We ain't crazy. Yo Tell him son as me mine. I would just picture that Kurt would see you padlock your door and just be like Man, he's got some weird shit going on in there He turned the right to me. Maybe maybe it's why I didn't say anything. I do sex stuff that goes beyond regular door loss Still one of the best stories ever with Kurt like bad roommate Kurt was the daily moved in me and my ex-wife And him and his ex-girlfriend my ex-wife brought with her a couch Shitty couch that was also a pull-up bed And Kurt didn't have Kurt and his girlfriend didn't have a bed. So we said all right Well, if you if you want like just use the couch bed Yeah, you know, we'll be in the bedroom So use the couch bed until you guys get a bed and then they just never did at all and Probably for the best because won't be would sit on that couch I'm trying I keep stealing 66 cents from chat. Do you know how hard that is to make a bed? Make a bed of money. Yeah, fucking Scrooge McDuck. He just times I knew it But he's just all in your bathtub. No, he just never so he never took us up on it And I said it's a good because like the the couch was so fucking uncomfortable that I assume the bed had to be just as uncomfortable and then when Kurt moved out What he left in his room was a Little thin mattress and what I found out is what he did was the day we said the day we moved in and said you can use this if you want as a couch as a bed he took the mattress out of the couch bed and Put it on the floor of his room that was his bed the entire time he was there the reason that couch sucked so bad The signal no one was ever to live in rooms because it was just metal and fucking springs He just removed the cushion from it and kept that as his bed until the day he moved out It's literally it's an uncomfortable bed and an uncomfortable couch Nothing else I know what the love seat was where you sit because it was like take the couch like a formative like a couple of years as so why Metzger acts the way he acts Sleeping on a couch cushion on the floor. Yeah, that's in I mean like also he removed all the meat out of the couch Like all the good parts left the bones Kurt weren't said to me. He doesn't give a fuck where he sleeps as long as there's a roof He goes I'll sleep in a stairwell as long as there's a roof. I'm sure it's changed now at his age, but I don't know about much Yeah, I think he moved immediately Just by it because he went on spec like moving from LA to Austin I think him and his chicks are they living a terrible terrible neighborhood I don't think he's corrected that yet. He's just like he just has like a guns now. He's got guns He's also like a six foot nine white guy. He walks down the street in a terrible neighborhood They're like the foot back inside. Yeah, it's a testament to how big Kurt's eyes are. He's only like six four But fucking he does appear six nine cuz of those those eyebrows. Yeah, and he's a normal person unless he's hit by lightning Then he starts to fucking It's crazy is Twitter the lightning So in Twitter We had some fun stuff he wanted to get into today. Yeah We're just rolling. We're just riffing. There's that fun. It is pretty fun But yeah, the fact that you offered your sister after I go Do you know you you've talked to me about your sister before if it was just based on when I know of your sister I'd be like yeah, sure let her come over. Baby. Can I say she wouldn't steal from you or hurt your property or things? It's the things you don't need to do to a family member You know, I'm gonna trust you Fuck that shit the whole all the car rides today. We're riding with Lewis. Everyone's is him scolding his sister You left the hose on you stupid bitch. It was fucking crazy. You don't have a You don't have a hose. I have one that I used to like guarding the or water the the trees and shit But that was the one to fill up my pool, which is just like a you know the sprinkler system. Yeah, if it's real system Yeah, I do I like trees are the perimeter that aren't it by this regular by the way just jumping through our notes here Kevin Hart It says he has his own successful tequila bring Grand Cormino Would you guys like to try it because he they they can't stop forcing it down my throat. They sent me drop bought they tried to get me to take Bottles home from my trailer. I gave him to my manager, and then they've sent me some I don't I don't know if it's good. I fucking hate tequila. I drink tequila. I think that I can shoot. I drink still That's what I drink, but I drink silver tequila and it's always keeps coming old stuff But maybe it's fantastic. I don't know What are we talking about where we I was I was going through the thing. Oh and then also that's not what that you're you're reading Yeah, but that and the other thing was that I love the Lisa Trigger calls out Nate let left talk shit one last time One last This is your swan song, buddy. This is your Led Zeppelin for just know before you would start Dude, this is it. Yeah, this is the big guy. He's back. Live zeppelin. Deppelin. Live zeppelin. Is it because he's the size of one I talked to you inside guy. That's why you know, that's why the legion of skanks are fucking three for life to Tristan Bowling Lewis J Gomez big day. I'll be soon All right, let's get a quick moment and think body brain coffee, which is a company that I started about a year ago for supporting the show It's real coffee a lot of functional coffees. They're not real coffee. This is premium freeze-ride Columbia Wait a second. This is your coffee. This is my coffee. Do I have independently been jamming something I know dude I had no ideas with your coffee. I've technically been changing everything. This is what you've been talking about Dude, my fucking, dude, my Tonka Dalai content is to the roof. Well, that's the secret ingredient, Tonka Dalai, which has been linked to testosterone and support naturally. It's a big difference between all these other functional properties. And linked to kickboxer, the guy who fought Tonka Dalai. Everyone has lion's mane mushrooms. Everyone's got all these other ingredients, but we got Tonka Dalai. It's five simple ingredients. You can drink it hot, cold, put it in your protein shake, put it in your ass if you're big J. I didn't put glue on your rope fists and dibbet and glass. That's what Tonka Dalai would do, kickboxer. I have a bracelet that says, what would Tonka Dalai do? Ooh, that's great merch. That's great merch for Bodygrain, WTAD. Grab some Body Brain Coffee right now, go to BodyBringCoffee.com, use the promo code LOS20. We're going to give you 20% off. If you subscribe to get it every single month, you're going to get 20% off and you're going to get free shipping. BodyBringCoffee.com. It's crazy you call it BodyBring when you're both fat and keep that in. Keep that in. Good point, Lev. Fucking Lev. All right, let's take a quick moment to thank sheath for supporting the show. We love sheath here at the Legion of Skats. Hang on, I'm going to let two other people thank them. Thank you. Woo-hoo-hoo. That was my taking balls and separate pouches. Oh my god, you only have one ball? No, it's my ball from the road, separate person out. You're the second one, so thank you, thank you. You can catch that. There was a first thank you and the second was a thank you thank you. 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We have to put it in this mouth like jerks off, we have sports bras for left, we have sports bras there where you can put your tits in and your balls under. You got to feel it to believe it, go to sheath.com and use the promo code LOS for 20% off, they even give you the first pair of guarantee, so it's not for you, you get your money back and once you try sheath, there is no going back, that's all I wear, it's all I will ever wear, sheath.com/LOS, code LOS for 20% off. It's crazy you wear a sheath when you're so fat and dumb. I keep it in. You damn, you are fat and dumb, good point, live. Hey, Skanks, let's take a second and thank one of our amazing sponsors for today's show, which is GLD. If you forgot to get your dad something for Father's Day and you probably did, GLD has your back. You didn't forget GLD just made it very hard to choose so it took longer. They use real gold in every piece and the stones are all hands set. They have chains, pendants, rings, watches, all kinds of stuff for your pops or yourself. Or anybody. Did I wear my Cuban link, Shane, I gave one to James. We look like we're fucking rocking and rolling, we're going to Spain in a few weeks, so this is what we're going to be doing on the beaches of Spain. You don't rock in the Cuban, you don't spend six figures, dude, don't let the baddies fool you. They're wearing all this kind of shit. They also have some sports teams, collaborations, DC Comics, DC Comics, there, everything you're gas fathered and you could possibly need. I got a Deadpool bedazzled conquering. God damn right. You did. Work hard. Change the game. That was just for the record that that was a custom piece. For a limited time, new customers are getting an insane deal, use the code Skanks, SK, ANKS, Skanks to get 40% off at GLD.com, it's 40% off with the code Skanks at GLD.com. After you purchased, they're going to ask you where you heard about them. Tell them, he's just Skanks sent you. All right. Let's get back into it. Wait. Before we do. Real quick. That's your fat and 10, you believe Louis, where's a fucking Cuban link chain when he's so fat and dumb? All right. Lev Zeppoli? Well, now you're revved. Would you like some? I thought you'd never ask. What the fuck did I come all the way up here for? Exactly. I'm there for 40 minutes before anybody offers me Zeppoli. Well, Lev said the shames Binyani, I'm yelling at him, telling him to stop talking shit about people. But this isn't. Let's give him a pass here because this isn't what he's talking shit. This is somebody who's just going up, by the way, Lisa, we're talking about Lisa Trigger. I watched a couple of these clips. There's something she doesn't have that I don't disagree with. My thing on her is much more like, she's so frazzled by it that I'm like, why are you letting the other people's lives hit you so fucking much? I haven't seen it. And again, it falls into the thing I said to go, all the comedy podcasts now are like serious discussions. Yeah. Yeah. No one's having fun. Lisa Trigger is laughing. I guess Nate, my friend Nate, my son's got a father. Nazi Bargotzi? He went. That's a title right there. Oh, that's great. Do the fact that someone's going to go to the White House and, uh, I mean the ass ass, buddy. Dude, him is ag-botsified. Man, I left my, my carousine in my other house, man. I'm so dumb. Yeah. You know what's funny about wearing a clan uniform? Nothing. It's an honor. Absolutely. Nothing. Would you like to see? I purchased the first ever Confederate flag. We turn him into four scum. Yeah. I remember my mom had said to my principal so I could pass the third grade. When African as Americans come into my county, they're running. Poor Nate. Could there be anybody less fucking outwardly political than fucking Nate? Yeah. Well, so he goes to the White House UFC event, um, and you know, it's, so the way that, um, people are positioning it is that Nate went to Trump's birthday party. Is that a collier UFC event? They call it Trump's birthday party? You know what's interesting about being non-political, and if I had some sort of an invite or a hook up and I was home to go to the UFC at the White House, I would have gone to Harpy. Agreed. Now, there's nothing that, there's no way this would happen, obviously. So it's obviously hypothetical, but if I was in a situation where I was known enough where I went through and stupid fucking RFK was like picture or photo op, I'd go, he's sure. I would love to be a picture with you, Big J. You don't say the point I'm making is just like, I think Trump, Trump seemed, by all accounts and everything I've seen myself, seemed like Trump's kind of fucking up and he sucks. I don't really give a shit, but if he was like, the president was like, hey, the president was like, I think you suck, Jay. Sure. But I'm saying, if the president was like, the president wants to take a picture with you, I'd go, sure. Right, right, right. So I mean, like, the calls these people are held over sometimes blows my mind. Big J, I would love to take a picture with you. Well, I'm a fan of Xerak. That is my favorite show. I think Dana White's a weaness. I would take eight pictures with him. Yeah. Why not? He made the UFC, dude. I do think the lives have this one completely wrong. It's like, it looked awesome. It was fucking the White House and the backdrop of it. It looked fucking sick. Like, is it a propaganda? Oh, they fucking, they flesh Laura bar out. Where's my girl Laura bar? It's just gay that they would do. Oh, there's Nate. Yeah, that's the whole point. How are the pictures moving? Yeah. I got to see for my chair again. So anyway, so I guess Lisa Trigger comes out on a podcast and starts talking shit about Nate. We all saw the clip. I guess the clip is going semi-viral with the podcast. People aren't really working. I did not see the clip. Not see by God. Who's this handsome guy she's doing it with? He is very handsome. He's a handsome guy right there. Kyle Ridley. By the way, man, tell me about it. Tell me about it. Mustache. Doesn't seem like a guy trying. Does that make sense? He's not trying. Did just a mustache? Like, that's how it's his. I have to try so hard to just be this. This guy's not even trying. Well, you got a little chin too. But just mustache? Why did it is? Usually, like I've always said, and she struck me down for this fuchsial. I know he's a legend right now in our business. Andrew Schultz. His mustache always feels like trying mustache for me. That's just a just a thing. He does. He does. I see what you're saying. He's a handsome guy. If he grew a beard, he'd probably be mega-handsome, it's the thing, but mustache is almost like I'm handsome enough and working it enough that it's like, I'll do a stupid mustache. That's why things. I did that with the hair too. You had that crazy fucking skin fit. Yeah. It's wrong. Andrew looks like you saw you like a peppermint malt in the thirties. Yeah. By the way, I guess I'm used to it now because that's a good, he looks very nice there. But ultimately, my point is the mustache in general though, it's like, I don't know. The just mustache was such a choice that was such a moment in time that everyone doing it now seems like they're trying to do something. But he's like Schultz is easy. Leasy. Love. Calm down. Well, don't bring him up. Don't put him on the magic screen thing. I'll say Schultz falls into the idea of a serious, a person who's got, this podcast are too serious. Sure. Everything's serious. And now that a cost is in there, now that a cost isn't there to fall out of his chair, it's only serious. That's why he quit with all the concussions from laughing too hard. He is C.T. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Doctor says I got a C for displacement because of my deaf jam laughing. Yeah, he's like completely melted. Got it. Because you guys found a more handsome picture of fucking Andrew Schultz with his fantastic mustache. Yeah. He's always tongue to and fucking. Never mind. Andrew Schultz looks fantastic with a mustache. You should rock it forever. He was a bad example. Well, he's also like a actual celebrity now, like the people I see him hang out with when I see him, it's like the biggest people. So I think that's a big part of it. It's like it's like a different stratosphere. He's like a manicured guy. - It's something like you glow up from the fame. - Yes. - Like physically something happened. - Every time I see him, he's either with one of the most famous actors ever or like a UFC champ. - But get off his fuckin' nut. - I'm just sayin' there's shit. - A episode of Flaker would do wonders. - Oh really? - Fuck you. - I love to come on and talk to you guys. - You guys want to suck off Andrew Schultz? - Shultz. - I have some thoughts on the industrial military complex. (laughing) If you'd like me to come on and talk about it. - How surprised you landed the words industrial military complex? - He sure does. - I can't tell you why. It's the example I have where I watch the clip of Schultz doing Schultz. Yo, you guys know that when we pay for the military, when we pay for weapons, we're just paying ourselves. And I was like, and he sends them to the industrial military complex. And I was like, man, and by the way, Schultz, understand as I say this, I don't know what the fuck you were talking about either. But the mind below thing of like, can you believe what you were doing? I go, you don't give a shit either. - Yeah. - Like, that's more my thoughts on it. It's just the idea of like to bring that to a podcast. - It's too serious. - We're being too serious. - We're not. - I think we're being too serious right now. Talking about other people being too serious. - I agree with that. - By the way, Bonfire became that today. That was a bummer. - Yeah, too serious. - I started the show talking about this very stuff. - Yeah, serious and serious. - And the show got too serious. - No, you can't get serious and serious. - I didn't like it. - You can't get serious. - You can't get serious and serious. It's already called serious. - Yeah, it's crazy. - That's crazy. - Let's play these a traggers thing. Here we go. Now we're getting to call on somebody a fat pig. - Yeah. (laughing) - I thought that's why I was talking. - I'm talking about you Kyle Ridley. You fat fuck. - Ridley, is your perfect mustache? - The thing that's crazy is-- - Pause it again. - Pause it again. - Let me tell you this out of the gates. And Lewis, you're a homeowner now. So I know you're a homeowner. - Look at Lisa's picture. What do you already see that you're judging a little bit? - Her shitty fucking kitchen. Her shitty fucking cabinets, dude. - Those are government issues, dude right there. - Those are government issues. - I judge everyone's cabinets. - Can I tell you something? What's your close to the cabinets they go? - Siam! - I mean, if I were those cabinets, I would never take videos from that angle. - No one would ever know those are my kitchen cabinets. - I could spin kick my cabinets. - Am I my Alex? You have shitty cabinets. As you sit over there. - Of course! - What is Alex's cabinet? - But she's not out there talking shit. - She's like, let me talk about my cabinets. What about Trump's fucking cabinet? - Lewis. - Me and you were just in the cabinet of all times. Me and you were same way. You could spin kick my cabinet. Before it's slam shut, it'll stop itself and go settle down. - It's like they're doors on my outy. - They go, they go, whoa, whoa. - You have outy doors and you get your-- - You go, whoa, whoa, whoa. You were just thinking you wanted to slam this. You don't want to break your fucking cabinet. - Hey, buddy. - So, yeah, Lisa, before you start talking shit about people, get better cabinets. - Get out of your shitty apartment. - The thing that's crazy is all of the men that are succeeding right now in the right wing and had Trump on their shows and are just complicit and fascism and not seeing it. - Pause it again. White men are unfortunately happened to be the majority of the population. Arguing that white men are the most of anything is the stupidest argument in the fucking world. Unless you're talking about white men are leading the NAACP. That would be fucking crazy. Only Rachel Dole's, I'll pull that off and pull it by God. That girl really paid her price because now you can watch her dildo herself and whack off to it. She's got a crazy body for an old bitch. - Yeah. - I would do it. - I thought Dole's off. - He's watched Jay's ADHD just bring him right back. - I would fuck Dole's off in a fucking heartbeat. - Let's keep on watching this. - But also watching this in the background. We're pulling up those naked Dole's Alls. - We've seen Dole's All. - Stop. - Wait a minute. - Later. - I fought all those guys over a decade ago. It wasn't new to me. - But it's not new to me today. - In this corner of that, the leaders of our industry and that people care, especially when they've been so young. - Pause it again. I've watched as a bunch. But that argue, so I know the things that are coming. That thing, the fact that their leaders of our industry says what? It says there's a fucking market that has decided like they think these people are funny. Like she's, dude, Lisa's had a lot of opportunities, man. And Lisa came out of the gate's fucking swinging, dude. When she came to New York, she was, I said, we were singing on Bonfire, Lisa come back. Lisa come back. You can, 'cause Annie did. Annie kind of, Annie lettering me up and then that weird fucking, like when Trump got elected, just decided I hate everybody, whether they give a shit about this or not. Annie came out of it. Came out of the funk. Somehow it took dating Kurt to realize how far in Sanity could go and then she got on her head straight. I think Lisa's still locked in this fucking thing. - He's so fucking changed for me, man. - Here's a funny part of it. - Here's a funny part of it, Lisa. Like she's, you know, whatever. I haven't actually watched all this. So I do want to like see it. But she like talks all the shit. Like she came out against Louise. She came out against all these people. She worked on Horus and Pete. I don't know what she did on the show. I never watched Horus and Pete. I don't really know what it was. But she worked on that show. And at a time when we all thought that Louise straight up like held the door closed and fucking jerked off in front of crying girls, we all thought the rumor about Louis was so much worse than the reality of what it actually was. And Lisa still was complicit to work with him at that time. So I was family easy to be kind of hypocritical. - Sure. I had this story with her where I did ship rocked a couple of years, the heavy metal cruise ship where I was the comedian on it. And they let me bring people up. You know, you and Dave done it before you and brought. And one year I was like, you know what? Let me bring some female comics that I like. 'Cause Christine goes on the cruise every year and she's just hanging out with a bunch of dude party and she's kind of hanging out. I go, you know, you can have the girls this time. And I'm like, you know, I got plenty of people to hang with. So we brought Lisa and Annie. And it was, I mean, it was 2016. The timing couldn't have been more right. Trump just got elected. The inauguration hadn't happened yet. - Oh, damn. - We sat down at a fucking, we sit down for dinner at the stupid buffet. We got food and we were sitting there and I went, Annie and Lisa, Lisa particularly, had already started weird things with people asking girl, the girl Ralph was with. You're like, you're only allowed one plate at a time at buffet. - The girl Ralph was with was at Ditz and Lisa met her and she goes, we go, hey, this is someone. So Ralph's girlfriend and she goes, oh, hey. She goes, do you, are you going to the women's march? And the girl goes, oh, no. No, I'm not really into that at all. - I'm a child sex slave. - And she was like, oh, yeah. She was like, oh, okay. And she was a shitty, she was a shitty to her right away and the girl was a, who gives a shit, but like she was shitty. And then we did the show and then we were at the buffet eating afterwards and I said, 'cause they said they were going to the women's march when the thing was over. And I'm Joe, no nothing about politics. I didn't give a shit. I went, so I asked him, just for conversation, I go, what's the, I go, hey, the women's march thing you're going to, I go, what's that all about? What's like the modus operand? Like, what's the thing you're guys are trying to achieve by that? - They're all walking towards a sink to do dishes. - Yeah, yeah, finally, right? - Yeah. - And I go, what's it all about? Literally, I go, this is a great thing. I don't know. And Lisa's first word, she goes, "Ugh, your attitude about this already makes me sick "to my stomach." And then she yammered on us. - I'm sure it's not your third plate of buffet food from the, - I'm sure. - Yeah, she goes, it makes me sick to my stomach. And then she yammered about whatever it was for 15 minutes and then when it was over, she goes, "So that's what it is and I went, "I gotta be honest, I didn't hear anything you said "because all I say is now. "I hope somebody fucking fire bombs it "while you're happening." I go, "How is that an approach "to how somebody who asked you a thing?" I go, "Hey, what's this thing you're interested in? "I'm curious about it." I go, "You told me it makes me sick." I go, "What the fuck?" And that's a weird way to talk to people, Lisa. I go, "I don't know how the fuck you. " That's strange. I go, "I was just weird about her." And then we end up just being like, we kind of like dropped it and ate and the rest of the trip and Christina begged us up. We landed in Turks and Kekos. This is one of the stops where everybody can get off and go to the beach. I stayed on the boat. I go, "You go, I know you want to go. "Go with Lisa and Annie and have fun." I go, "I can't talk to this chick." I go, "That's fucking, it was such crazy behavior." And then ever since, just in the same thing, we had a situation in Montreal. I went to a restaurant. We took two cars to a restaurant and her car got there first. And when I was walking to the restaurant, she was walking by and she was getting booze. It was a B-Y-O-B place. And I went in the restaurant where everybody was sitting down. I sat next to Bobby Kelly. I said, "Is anybody sitting in the seat at all?" And they went, "No, it's all yours." And I sat down. She came back and she sat at the end of the table. I had a weird face on. At one point I mouthed to her, "You okay? What's wrong?" She goes, "It's fine." And then Bobby, he's like cracker with this fucking mask. (laughing) Beated with this fucking hat. Beated with this fucking dude. - I got two fucking D batteries. Put it in this fucking sock. Dude, put it in this napkin and beat the shit up. - You see on a fucking roll your eyes at me, Kant? - I asked her, "Well, I kind of go, "What's, are you okay?" She goes, "Yeah, I'm fine." And then 15 minutes later she goes, "Hey, I want to do a toast." She goes, "You want a toast?" - Yeah. - I want to do a toast. Can I get bacon in there? (laughing) - I want to do a toast. I want to make sure, please. - Can I get a, then he's gonna be like, "I would like some chicken if we're running in her class." - She goes, she goes, "I want to do. " I want to get my history with it to understand why I'm like, "What the fuck is this chicken about?" So, we fucking, we got off the boat. And he said, "One time I saw her, she was like. " Oh, so she was like, "We were watching your Montreal." No, I sat in the chair. She goes, "I want to make a toast now." She goes, "I'm in a better mood now." So she makes some toast. - I'm in a butter mood. (laughing) - You put it on this toast. (laughing) - Dude, can you please talk to me about how you figured things out? I'm in a butter, I'm in a jam mood. I can take syrup if you got it. She goes, I want to do a toast and I said, I shouldn't even open this door. I go, I go, before she does the toast, I go, oh, I go, what were you in a bad mood about? I thought you looked like you were in a bad mood and she goes, nothing, you just took my fucking seat, but it's no deal, no big deal, I'm over it now, who gives it fucking? I went, what? And she goes, no, nothing, you just took my seat, I went, wait, so you were in a bad mood, why don't you say something when I asked you, what's wrong? Why don't you come in and say, hey, I was sitting there, I don't give a fuck, it's a dumb thing to go, but you're telling me you've been sitting here holding some weird grudge with me. And Bobby was even like, dude, it's cool, I go, no, dude, that's a fucking lock, no, no, you're telling me you didn't see that giant in that seat. That's interesting, you know me enough to know, I have a thing where it's like, this thing is like, this chick word is like, I'm just being a bitch, and I go, now fuck that, I go, so you've decided now you're okay with it, I stole your, I didn't steal your seat, everyone said it was fine to say, I go, dude, you are a crazy fucking bitch, dude, and I got up and I left, and I went outside and I smoked, and when I came back in, she was like, you know, she apologized. So I said, this is a part, and then when we did, she did my storytelling show later that week in Montreal, and she goes, so me and Jay, we have this little love hate relationship, I go, and I stopped her there, I go, Lisa, before you tell the story, we don't, yeah, you fucking, I don't know why you think I'm the mark, but you've come at me with so many things, and I just think you're funny, and I don't have a problem with you, so I go, you do this, and then the next time I saw her was in Moon Tower, and the one and only sentence is back and forth I had with her, she goes, hey, do you think kids should get free lunch in school? I went. Yeah, I guess if they wanted her needed, and she goes, okay, because that's my thing now, I'm asking everybody, I guess there was some topic, there was a hot topic about kids not getting free lunch school, she goes, because I'm asking everybody out, and if you think kids shouldn't get free lunch in school, then I don't even want you in my life, I'm not talking about you, and I went, all right, bye, because I'm like, what a fucking, so when I watch this, I watch the thing, I'm like, look how struggle she is by nothing, it's wild, hold on, hold on, no, hold on, never mind, I don't think that was an interesting, that was all good stories. Telling out arenas, and are the leaders of our industry, and that people care, especially when they've been so wrong about everything, like if I had a podcast, and I told people to vote a certain way, and then everything opposite happened, and I went on my podcast, and went, oh, I guess I was wrong, I didn't realize this, I would quit forever, right? I would realize that I'm a fucking idiot, and don't have a leg to stand on, and she's probably back away. Why do you have to quit comedy because your comedy podcast had something wrong about politics? That's the stupidity of this, it's like, I use what everybody to vote one way, and then it ended up, you ended up hating, it goes, yeah, we're comedians, dude, it gives a fuck. Yeah, I'm not saying she is this, but I do think a lot of comics that also lean left, and like, I'm a left-leaning fucking pussy comic, but like, they think- House lean's left-leaning, that's out of it. What if I lean right? I think I'm left-leaning, but I would guess that would be, but I think that they look at it as like, the reason they're not doing arenas is because you are in that spot right now. And if you go down, if we get rid of you, that person just gets pushed up into the arena spot now. They don't get that it's like a free market capitalism of people going, I want to go see that. It's like, people that are- They're like, it's all, it's there to go see. Well, like I see in an arena, Shane Gillis being a racist Nazi. Yeah, that's insane. They look at it like, the industry really believes, you know, people that were liked by the industry believe that it's like, oh, it's like next person up, next good person up gets pushed. But there's no industry left. Could Shane be more of an example of like, the market speaks? Yeah. I mean, we shut out of mainstream comedy, like, probably. Yeah. He's scared from SNL, then his host did it. Like I think twice now, hasn't he? Yeah. And I think more, he think he told me more than Michael said, like he's going to host it every season once. Yeah. Which he should learn. Love you guys. We're going to serious. But it's also like, I do think, and I don't want to like shit on what we're doing here. But that's the whole thing. I don't know if you saw the sheet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's because I'm the way here. Lewis, like, let's not talk about comedy. Let's be silly. I know. The whole sheet is like, did you see what this comic said? Well, let me just be silly about it as well. It's going to be silly. I don't know this bitch. But she seems like fat and crazy. She it. Yes. I bet you got it now. Play. I bet that she had grips different. I'll tell you that. Oh, yeah. For sure. Do I think what those just monster cans? Oh, does she? Yeah. Did you guys have some bit old puppies? Yeah. What about Duke? And what? Annie Letterman. Fifty more beef stew. And I've only heard the words. I've only heard the words from Annie Letterman who said, like, Lee's actually got monster awesome tits. Maybe. Yeah. I believe it. Yeah. That's real. Yeah. Do you want to get in a Cornel chili? Fucking astronaut food? Yeah, dude. Like if you didn't see this. If you did, Lee's you can keep food in her. In case the apocalypse happens. Can't believe you are still confidently telling people what to do and what your things are. Just going, sorry. When you fucking help this pedophile. Don't do what we tell you to do. No, yeah. I thought Andrew Schultz, Naper Gottz, he fought him in 2012. He's a trumper. Like a weird, right? He went to decision. He fought. Wait, what? She fought him in 2012. I don't know what the fuck she did. You didn't see the paper view? By the way, she's talking about she had to think, but let her continue because she, it's crazy. And I stopped. And especially after 2016, I stopped speaking to most people at the cellar. All of them. They have no charisma, no personality right there. That picture for me is everything right there. And I don't feel strongly about anything comedy related to have my hands on my forehead. It's like, how are people not seeing like the weight she carries? Hey, come on. No, no, we can see it. Go on. She's got the weight of the world and plus 250 pounds. Yeah. The burden, this bitch is carrying in her fucking head and her fucking cut and her fucking and her muffin top and her physical brain weight of 270 plus whatever the world weighs. Let's be honest, her pussy definitely starts out here. And I'll tell you what, it looks like it's not lippy no matter what, even if it is lippy, you can't tell it's. You find them. You can't tell it's lippy from the outside from the outside, you'd be like that to tuck the way. Hey, pal, find them lips. I dare you. But it could be lippy. Take that from a guy who's found a lot of lippy pussies inside, but I thought it was not a lippy pussy. Dude, it turns out what the outside was, wasn't even pussy at all. It was just a fucking fold made by two legs that were very big. A forensic dog couldn't find that lip in there. Absolutely, dude. If a drug sniffing dog came out, he would say this car is clear. I mean, it's like a violent guy would have done that. Absolutely. Oh, they're not even entertainers go entertainers. I hate them all. And so yeah, I guess it's like Nazi versus everyone else. Yeah. Well, maybe if you were Nazi, you'd have better fucking cabinets, bitch. Yeah, man. Nazis wouldn't live like that. Dude, Nazis had a nice style, dude. No, Nazis probably all live like that. Actually, at least a trigger is living like a skinhead. She does have a modern skinhead lifestyle. You have a skinhead house. He's making ends meet working at a tire shop and he has those cabinets. You don't have handles on your cabinets, you don't bitch. Yeah. You're supposed to grab them from the bottom right corner. Nazis also have Mr. Potato heads as decoration in their kitchens, but they have them hailing Hitler. She looks like she legitimately looks like she collects like commemorative cop like popcorn buckets from AMC. This guy, by the way, is fucking learning, looking at his library, he's got a Dave Smith style library. That's probably the books on tape or beta max videos. Guys, I mean, I could, I shit you not in my adult life, I've read like actually read maybe 10 books in my 100% entire life. We've said this before the show. When you and Dave both said you read books, we told him, I go, I think I'm exaggerating heavily. Yeah. Anyway, including pleasure and required reading, not including cliff notes, the ones that I just decided I would do. Of course. I don't count that. 25 books in my life. Yeah. And I think that's an over exaggeration by maybe 10 to 15 books. I've read more than 10 because I've read all the Harry Potter books in my adult life. So that's seven, seven right there. That's seven right there. Yeah, that's knocking out a pretty good way. I listen to audiobooks every day. I mean, I just, I don't read books through that reading. Can we get mad? Yeah. Can we get mad if you say? I don't care for that. Yeah. Shut the fuck up. You're gaining the knowledge and you're gaining it in a better way. It's whatever way you can retain the knowledge. If you go to lick a book and I have, if you go lick a book and retain the knowledge, what's the fucking difference? If this is the best way to retain the knowledge, how do you fucking learn? You dumb bitch. Fuck you, Alex. You're fired. But it's still that reading. It's your listening. Listen. You're reading. You're, you're irritating me. It's just the act. Can you act? The act is called, is not reading. Sure. But Jane, saying I listened to a book is a strange thing to say in a conversation. No, not in today's America. So if you're talking about a book and I'm just like, I was like, and you're like, I was like, you're like, oh, I read fucking the 48 laws of power and I, nobody, I did read that actually. Oh, okay, then. But I did read that. Oh, except it. You know what it was? I used to print out, I used to buy books, then photocopy them and then bring these pages into the steam room and read wet pages in the steam room. You're a fucking. Why? Because I would want to read while I was in the steam room. Well, it is defense. He's only copying like two pages for the session. Does it keep me busy for the hour? Yeah. Most of it was gay sex. I assume. This is a white thing I'm with. Yeah. It's just two pages of a children's picture. But he goes, he just reads, he looks studious so the guys who want you can pick you. This guy, this guy. a lot of books. If this guy's read all these books, I actually trust his opinion on all of these subjects more than anybody that's speaking. I just think of the world of babies as Lewis is a hobo. Well, you have Ridley's Chendu in this head shot. It's really a comic? No, I looked up who he was. Who is he? I want him on my side. Look it up, but play this. It's over. Oh, did you find the other ones? Because she has a moment she goes to Jessica Kiererson. Really? Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. She says her apart. And by the way, Jessica, again, that's the problem. Jessica made a mistake. If I was closer, whether or maybe I would have said something when she came back and was like, you know, Jessica, she's lesbian. She was a mistake. She says, uh, she goes, oh, I shouldn't have done. You were right. I didn't react, which by the way, I'm sure she was treated fantastic. And she goes, oh, you're right. I shouldn't have done it. And I feel terrible by the, I'm trying to give the money to a thing. And then the charity didn't take it. It's like, oh, we won't take that money. And she, and like, who got the money? Her. Jessica, so just so good after I, I can't speak for sure. I don't know what she did with it ultimately. But the, the, very publicly, the, the things she had to give it to were like, no, we're good. We don't want it. Lesbian stuff. Probably less. We don't want you lesbian money. Yeah. Yeah. You never saw any other videos of this? I have to, I have to pass so back. We do plugs in a second. Yeah. And then you plug, you plug and then pass. Okay. Cool. You want to pull up the stuff up there? Come see me this weekend, guys. La Jolla Comedy. So we're very excited about this. Gonna be a goddamn blast. Good way with. Damn, handsome, great mustache. Lewisofskanks.com to get those tickets. That's the 26th through the 28th of being La Jolla. Then right after that in the beginning of July, I got Baltimore, Maryland coming up. And then I'm very excited about this. Denver comedy works. I've never been there before. The comedy works out them before me there for the first time. It's short notice. Somebody dropped out, but they called the Puerto Rican rattlesnake and let's sell these shows out. I'm very excited. Never been to Denver comedy works before. So I'll be there at the end of July. And then I got La Jolla, Louisiana, Lake Charles, Louisiana, and more. Grab my book and I was in school and check out all the other pods that I do, the real ass podcast story wars. And the regs right here on guest. It will subscribe to guest. It will. If you love the show, we do the Friday night hang. Just the three of us every Friday night. It's a bonus episode. You only get it by subscribing. Plus you get the uncensored and ad free version with pre-release every Tuesday night and nearly a thousand episodes that aren't available anywhere else in the entire world, gassages.com, use the promo code LOS. Save a couple bucks a month. Support the show directly. All right. I'll be right back. Lev, you could I got dates coming up and San Diego L.A. Two shows in Chicago and Wisconsin go to liveforcomedy.com, also Minnesota and all parts, a bunch of parts of Canada as well liveforcomedy.com. Please follow me on Instagram at L.E.V.F.E.R. I'm live streaming a lot on YouTube and watch our podcast Cockfite on Patreon and Spotify because we got banned from YouTube. And that's basically it. Why? Yeah. Why? To be in two fucking real, man. Fuck. You know, it's the worst being too real. Yeah. T dog. I am going to be in Wisconsin at the Comedy Cab in September 3rd, a little far out. But if you sell it out, I'll kiss you right on the lips. But besides that, you can see me on my two other podcast, the Cockfite podcast. And also the modern Apes, me and Daniel Bridge Gad, subscribe to everything. Be cool. Love you. Just ganks. Yeah, just ganks. Leave just ganks. Leave just ganks. Check me out live, bigjacomedy.com. The greatest yapper alive to we're happening now. We're coming soon. We always say that. Are these my dates? Oh, yeah. Look at that Harrisburg Comedy Zone sold out Friday and Saturday. We added a show on Sunday. I don't know if it's sold out. Get tickets if we haven't. One show only. The great outdoors festival. Winnipeg July 19th. Then the Funny Bone Comedy Club in Richmond. Ooh, a law. Let's tell that the fuck out that I'm coming to Governor's in Levittown. That's right. You swingers come out there. I'll finger your wives in front of you while you watch. Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle. First time in a long time. Come back and see me there all over the place. Look for a city near you at bigjcomedy.com. Listen to the Bonfire five days a week. Confection Talk Series XM103 with me and the great Robert Kelly. And of course, story wars right here on the guest digital network. America's favorite new game show session. Oh, Nazi Bargazee. I almost forgot. It's such a fun nickname. Yeah, it is. And I thought, I mean, your date is maybe. I mean, out of like everyone, I know like one of five people that actually have their shit together. And debatably one of the best people I've ever met, like a genuinely good person. The furthest thing from a Nazi. I'm saying like we're good people. But we're also kind of like depraved like shit. Like date Nate's not any of that. He's just kind of a good dude. Like deep down. There's no family, son, father, good person, terrible on stage. Yeah. Like what are you talking about? To call somebody a Nazi like that? It's irresponsible. It's like literally calling a boy scout a pedophile. Yes. Well, Nazis took action. What action do you even if you thought Nate was like in the Trump pedophile say just action. Yeah. What he does he take? I will say he doesn't campaign for anybody. He doesn't fucking. And her defense. His new theme park is built out like a swastika shit. It really is overhead. I noticed that the job shot really was hateful. The girl was log flume. Is anyone going on that? You find the other clips of her on that show? They were usually attached to it. Yeah. They almost is like podcast or political politics podcast. Pro's or something. Nazi bar guys. He just is like, you know, my dad's a magician. I sure wish he'd make all these Jews. Get it over with already. When I listen to something that was attached to this. But it's the same like you'll tell because it's the same like cabinets. I think you guys are giving her a hard time. I think she's got the right thing in mind. She's just trying to help out. Listen, also I just want to say some things. I don't disagree with everything she said. There's not an argument. You'd argue is the subjective parts of it. If you say so and so's not funny. So and so's this. That's one thing or the other. But like baffled by the thing. I mean, her energy is like, yeah, you're just blown away. Rapists are getting fucking are forming an arenas. Yeah. It's like rapists are podcasting it back yard. That's different. Guys, because it's back yard be rapier. Look how dark it is at night. Right now, dude. As soon as the sun goes down, the boys come out to play. Oh, just one give me again, when a microphone goes out, see what happens. I think you're bringing your son, your son, your husband and your daughter. Dude, that is so rude to call her husband and her son. Yeah. They're bringing your son. You got more. She calls out Theo, but I don't even know that one guy just posting clips. It's great. I know the political podcast, bro, is the one I saw now. There'll be a part of that one. I realize that none of these clips have any views. It's 972 views. Yeah, like we're the only people that have watched this. Yeah, I was going to ask this a minute ago, but why do we give a shit? If you listen, we get bail on it completely. I just think it's interesting to talk about because it's like it's such a fucking. I think this would have been great for like after the pod we get in on this to like for an hour and say what we feel. Do you love is so bottled off right now? It's crazy. I just don't even care. I don't even give it. It's like to people. No, let's let's let's let's switch gears, actually, because I'm fucking, you know, who cares about Lisa Tregor? I mean, it's deep in Nazi Bargazze. That back story. Nazi Bargazze is just I'm so thankful for the Nick. Let's talk about. Do you talk about Naim Lynn? Yeah, it's funny. As we do as we as what we just did right there, I saw the bonfire. I'm not going to give a much traction, but I'll say the thing I said was I was like Naim's. Listen, Naim's been doing. He's been working with Kev. Arguably the biggest star in the fucking world. One of the looks like a blind jazz. He just is hitting the foot. He just said, he does have the face right now to be waving his head back and he had a tire of performance. So Naim and me for the backs of me, Naim started comedy together back in Philly. He at one point I believe stopped doing comedy and then Kev kind of brought him back in to become like to open a form. I'm going to begin to bless a cup boys. I think they're all wealthy. Happy form. I think it's wealthy. I wealthy. They are. I always thought Naim was funny when he did comedy before, you know, before I haven't seen him when he's been working for for Kev. But like me and Naim were never close for sure. In any way, you know, what's interesting about this clip is he says something that's about he tells the thing that I didn't want to come to New York for a while and and and so I kind of bailed on New York. What's going on about this is Naim's got Naim has been the person in Kev's crew. Oh, I think I was like, you know, gets a little lazy sometimes as did I early on when I was coming to New York. I was like this sucks. Yeah. Coming up here and I got we're having fun hanging with Patrice and Colin quit. But I go, I'm not getting on stage at all. It's kind of like fucking late. So I would not come a lot and then Keith at one point, I think told Kev, Hey, I'm going to stop pulling for Jay because, you know, he's not putting the effort in. And so he called me and said that and then I was like, all right, put the effort in and then I literally turned it around and started coming every day. I think he's used that that story to get naive motivated at times. So he kind of tells like a half story of that, which is weird. But whatever thing I hate, it's just, it's out of nowhere, but what he's doing it. - Are we gonna watch this video at all? - Yeah. - He lets watch his name respond to it. - DJ still hates Kevin. (laughs) - He hates Kevin, he hates him. He won't say, he fucking hates him. I know he hates him. - Why does he hate him? - He's always hated him. - Oh he's always hated him. - I will confirm this. Off air, Big J tells me all the time, I mean I was going to get a drink in his garage and he is a punching bag with Kevin's face. - He's darkboarded. - Yeah, he is a second, he has a like a sex car. - We understand, that's how I work it out. (laughs) I mean, you're saying it's thinking of a real Kevin. - The bottom of his toilet is lined with Kevin Hart movies. - I'm so happy for real Kevin. (laughs) - That motherfucker. (laughs) - That motherfucker's gonna date with Destiny. Maybe later tonight, ooh I'm getting hot all over again. - It's a punching bag that looks like a real guy with his face. - Yeah. - He does knife moves on it. (laughs) - You couldn't give me a little feature spot and soul playing. - No, there's like, there's like three extras in the back and there's like samurai equipment next to it. - He's a Wing Chun W. - He's like Kevin Hart, yeah, dude. (laughs) - And every night I go to, before I go to bed, I do the Rocky IV. I have a picture, a black and white picture of Kevin newspaper, like I pointed my mirror. - Yeah. - And I think, with my shirt off, yeah. Ken confirmed, big J-Heads, Kevin. - No doubt, so let's take that out of the mix of the problems here. - Hey, was he the Kevin? - Back to Philly, he didn't like you. - He's always hated Kevin. He's the, they both, Keith Robinson was the mentor and Keith got them when they were early in the game so they'd come to New York and, Kevin kept going and Jay was like, I'm not going up there to fucking sit around and not-- - Jay, pause it. - His face does look like he's-- - I'm not going. - I'm not going. (laughs) - I'm not going. - It doesn't, I'm not getting on stage, I don't wanna go. - You look like they're asking you to get the pool. - You know, I don't know. - I'm not going. - I'm not doing it. - I mean, you could try to make me, but I won't. - Well, that's a picture from my individual comedy central one hour special. - And not get on stage, you know? - I'm not going. - Especially this only job. - It's so rude, they use that photo of you. - There's so much newer photos. (laughs) - I'm fine with that. - I don't mind it. - No, yeah, that's-- - That was the best you looked as a fact, guy. - At one point. - Yep. - It's become expensive. - Right. - You gotta get paid a train or the pool. - Until the end of the day. - You've gotten better looking year after year after year. And currently, as we sit in this moment, you're the best looking you've ever been. And I think it's gonna continue to go that way until it doesn't. (laughs) - There will be a blackout. - Turned into like a fucking weird aunt. - Like a pile. - You're climbing the mountain right now, but there will be a blackout. - There's gonna be a hard blackout. - And then a fucking cliff probably. - Yeah, dude. - Well, I'm gonna be like a pile of shit. - Yeah, 'cause like Metallica, everyone they like, change their look and kind of got like cool. But then like that look became now they all look kind of like lesbians. - Yeah. - Like they're too old for the change they did. They gotta change more. - Yeah, they gotta change again. They need another change. - If I gave you a look to like a fashion designer, you would describe you as lesbian Metallica. - Totally. (laughs) - Absolutely. - Les Metallica. - It's older, it has to go full-blues. - As old aging ants. - It's got black driving on them. - Yeah, so nobody sees my fucking, my fingers turning black. It's kinda weird to see. - You're really hard. - You will just be adding things. You're adding more and more things. You're basically like the freaky old ladies with long fingernails. - But I'm gonna wear so much turquoise jewelry. It's gonna be nice. - Okay, let's take a quick moment to think about brown workwear for supporting the show. Tough enough for any job site. But cool enough for you just to wear in the hood. Like I do, I just walk around in my bra. - Yeah, you're rocking right now. - It really has to be as big. I don't mess around. - It's easier to run with your bell-bottom pants. - I wear two different styles of brunts. - But you only wear one pair of bell-bottom pants. - No, we're bell-bottom pants. These are like baggy ass, like fun, hip-hoppy, jenko-y style. - No, because they're wearing-- - Your shoes. - They're blue-cut. - Well, these are by brunt. These are jeans by brunt, Jason. Are you trashing the sponsor? - No jeans, brunt wouldn't fucking send you out in the world like that. - That's not what a construction worker or a casual man would wear that. - 'Cause they were the difference between brunt, not only do they look cool, they feel incredible. They feel like in all pair of sneakers that you've had for five years that you're wearing. - Those boots look so fucking cool. But are those pants going to a Morgan Wallen concert? You hot-check? Are you wearing boot-cut jeans? - You wear them to work, you wear them anywhere you want. 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So the thing he's telling here, by the way, again, this is how like miss, like he's throwing this thing out where he's like, you know, it gets expensive taking the train. This is how little he knows. Now, let me give you a timeline living up to this moment what he's talking about here. Nyeem was doing Philly. He was around Philly doing shows. He was a student at Temple University. And at one point he stopped doing comedy. I don't remember when. I don't remember who was a couple of years in or a year in or whatever. But he stopped doing comedy. Me and Kev went through the whole Keith Brons Up. We were driving to New York. And then when Kev talked to me about that thing, probably after a few months, or maybe even a year going to New York where I was kind of getting like lazy with it and not wanting to go. Then it was like at least a year or so of like us going up every fucking day. The amount of stories I have from him. - That was James from Philly too. That was his getting jiggy with it. Was getting lazy with it. - Me and Kev, we drove up to New York with Keith every day for years and then Kev got, what happened was Kev got, he went into Montreal. He got a pilot with Judd Apatel. And then Judd Apatel was going to, the pilot didn't go but he was going to start putting him on that show undeclared. So Kev was just like, I fuck it, I'm moving. I didn't even move to New York. He moved to LA. And then me and Keith were coming up together and then I started and then I met my ex-wife and I started coming up without Keith because I was staying later to hang out with her. And that was kind of like the evolution that I moved to New York. But like, and Kev moved to LA. And that's kind of when we sort of lost touch as much my fault as is. - I think if you didn't hate him so much, maybe he would have stayed. - No, he didn't start, he stopped reaching out too but like I also, I said, when I got my comedy central special, it was such a neat moment of calling him and being like, "Hey, you know what? I've always been told the narrative that like me and you, like you kind of went Hollywood and like, we're gone." Never angst. But just like, yeah, I didn't pursue the friendship because I was like it was getting hard because when we were still Talking all the time friends. He was like, you know when he got that sitcom that was like canceled before it started But he was calling me during the making of that and he was like yeah, I mean NBC and blah He'd already done soul playing and everything and I was like yeah, dude I'm getting tired of hearing all this fantastic shit like I'm how I'm something hearing Kurt stealing my change You can only be so happy until you're like right so I'm sorry. So I wasn't pursuing a success I'm sleeping on a gutted couch you mother fuck. Yeah, we we all like started getting success kind of like Relatively around the same time to a certain degree so you almost 40 you need a certain amount of success before you can be happy for your Sick friends. Yeah that much more success and almost I said at the moment I said before it was maybe really not that I never was I was always proud for care But I said I was living much more in envy and then just simply it wasn't even like a life-changing amount of money ultimately I guess it was probably the time but like the comedy central special like it was a life-changing event Right and just getting that because it was my only goal in comedy was to have an hour special produced by something right like not me just doing it Was like I was like I reach my goal. Yeah, but I was like I preach I reached my goal So I was like the only go ahead and coming so I was like now I can just kind of goes like kev you know what dude I was so bummed for good now all I could do is tell you that's like right. You're in Pixar movies One of the best like old moments of this show. We used to be in the intro Was you talking about Fintries you gotta tell that again. That's worth revisiting. I will because it's I think it's so relevant to this. So kev Kev was starting to do stuff he was starting to get stuff going and he moved L.A. And so many things So I had a my wrong of understanding he was just like yeah, I guess you know He got a grand Cherokee which wasn't even like a crazy car But he was like no I bought an actual chair in an American dude. I have one thousand Cherokees I'm just gonna give you I'm just giving you heads up almost I operate by a thousand men horseback I got some a patches coming next week Let me tell you play we got multiple color corn Yes, there's making him Jay do you know sitting bull? You know so funny look me and you have a business manager now So it's funny. It's like technically And in fact, I think I have you we could do this thing But we didn't understand this the time and this is so way early in my career that kev he's a little bit in a shitty apartment He was in a small apartment. He had a baby him and his wife I went to go visit him one point and it was like the big story though was like his business He needed a car and his business manager said what kind of Grand Cherokee gray Black interior blah blah. Okay, and then someone like brought it to his house He signed papers and took it. That's not that crazy of a thing really is something that can't be done But like it was so foreign to me right and I was like yo He's living like the big life and so when we went out to LA Me and Patrice were out there at the same time in DN Edwards and Kevin. We all met up at the Beverly Hills Center mall And I'm doing tell you know, I'm out there probably on a strict budget on what I could spend on anything And we go to the mall or walking around and I remember looking at a pair of sneakers that I liked and I was like yeah, these are fucking great, you know, I'm looking at him and kev goes you like him Yeah, I'm a guy goes go what's that 14 get get his sneakers. I went no, no, no I go no, no, no, if I want to maybe I'll buy him but I was like I'm good And he's like no man shut up, dude. I want to get you got the minute size but but go get him and the guy goes and gets him and I'm like Okay, thank you, I guess and we go up to the fucking desk and Patrice is wandering around and he kind of floats over to us and They bring the you know 14 sneakers out. Yeah, and it's careful on his credit card or whatever and he goes What do I go he's buying me? I don't want them to but he's like buying me these sneakers because I like them over there He's like what and Patrice is yelling out and so he goes you're gonna let another man buy you sneakers And I went no and I left the store so he wouldn't buy them and he didn't thank God There's some kids trying to make a $5 commission of the sale watching Patrice burn it. He burned it for sure I feel like such fucking you know that he called me honest. I felt so fucking bad. Did everyone else walk out or do they stay to and receive the sneakers? Everybody else like that with brand new kicks. I don't know. I say this. I didn't get sneakers that day though for sure I'll play the video and when cam started to The correct was he said taking the train or tolls cost a lot of money. I never took the train once I always had a car. I drove what he's getting the mix of story of is I drove always because whoever drove Didn't have to pay for the total food or gas gas or tolls And so I drove all the time because I just didn't have money. So I was like I'll drive again So that's what there's there's never there was never a train was never in the mix Not there. Well talk the shit about him. I even fucking funny just short and black. You know, you say shit like that Pretty funny. I couldn't even guess what the what he's talking about there. The tree I've never just complained ever openly and shit on Kevin. This has never happened He hate him. That was only like let me just as well because I do want to keep it going but like You've never shed our Kevin Hart. No, you've shit on everybody to me We've been in car rides for seven eight hours at a time and all you do is you talk shit about comedies with your friends super close friends Oh, they're super close friends. Yeah, no people that you love and consider friends people that are sitting at this table right now Possibly Wait, who Is true it's like I don't have any problem. Yeah, I've ever talked about care from the get go. I've knew right away There's always I was confused about it when it was like envy. I was like there was yeah There was an envious down there for sure, but you were you were very you were honest But you told the story before about having to leave this hotel room because you're like I just I'm having a hard time accepting Yeah, show me am I coming shot out of a floor and then I said the thing that got me was he goes I Go asked some things don't change though. Dude, I still bring the PlayStation 360 with me everywhere to play NBA too, and he goes oh no, I goes we just we have a runner-go grab on when we land and then You want it? He goes no he goes we leave it for housekeeping when they leave and I was like all right, dude I got to go get ready for my I was the thing I was like who are you going to go damn do I go I am I'm gonna quite a good a housekeeping job here Yes, and that meaning he was like he's like you want a lobster? We can grab you a lobster's a bringing lobster We'll bring a live lobster we can have sex with man by lobster for you I just think you know what's funny about that trip when I went to that was interesting story But that room in involving naive because he was like spanking naive or here So he had spank come up one of the place a cup boys who's I thought you said he was spanking naive Spank Spank or in your place Spank or in the spank's hilarious names hilarious, but spank is Spank we another one comic we started with who's one of kids at the place a cup boys guys fucking very funny and Fuck what was the point of that I'm so stone. It's okay You hate him. Oh, no, no, so Kevin when he we were in that room. Yeah, I don't think you hate him He called spank he called spanking naive he goes come up J's up here hanging out So spank came up and we were hanging and then naive he called naive even didn't come up and he called him again And he was like yo J's up here and then he's like, huh? All right, and he hung up and he goes naive said me and J weren't that tight back in Philly and I was like that's fair. Yeah, we weren't tight If you snapping before the show or something because when the argo arena, I'm like that's fine I get it. We sure we weren't like we don't have to catch up. Yeah, and But what's bomb is me out about this and I'll say before it's finished is me and I am set next to each other to roast we're next to each other and he went first as far as the roasters went and He fucking I think he did great and when he came set back down I was like damn dude that was fucking awesome though you went first. Yeah, that was fucking great and then later in the show It's over the thing and before I went on he goes you okay, man And I looked at him and I went J. Well, I was like do I'm fucking terrified? Yeah, I'm so fucking nervous So I said that to him. Yeah, and that keep that in mind as he says the end of this please Oh, you know for him to have to Of course can't obviously still like he put him on a stage. Yeah, Kevin is he's just a different type of dude, man I love that he looks he's always trying to provide an opportunity If you did hate can't this would be grinding your gears If you hate to give it hard, he's like, you know, can we just he can't stop deal with things for people I mean if you hate it, I mean he's so opportunistic everyone around him is a millionaire funny. You should say this Funny you should say this opportunity You know big J does have his own following and he's doing great but I Don't think I think that big J did it for the opportunity itself not to honor Kevin Sorry, I just know that I Know what I witnessed early in the game and he could have changed he may feel differently now, but his energy did not say so That's that's what bums me out about that thing I go man I go do we were sitting there together like you saw you knew how there I told you how nervous I was I was scared I've by the way since the roast happened on multiple putt that said me and him are doing what you wrote our whole things our own Where his oldest friends that's the all this thing. It's all been like such a positive. He's like he hate care It's what's like many years was happening really I looked it up He's been opening for Kevin for 20 years He's rich. Yeah, he pulled up to the party either go to a Netflix. That's how I say rich Yeah, are you looking for a nice I got a whole monologue full of asses. I can tell you he pulled up to that. I think rose and like the the newest like Merced white Mercedes thing I mean he's made them all rich, which is great. I think that's awesome so like He but the thing is what he has is I looked at it again. It's just Instagram. What do I know out with the transact everything? He's at 85,000 followers For a guy's open for the biggest star in the world. Maybe for the last 20 years, so that's saying so now he did a thing. He went on the breakfast club before this and he did a Big thing about the white writers didn't catch any legs He's the only person on the thing that did a TMZ came to him in an airport and he stopped and talked for 20 fucking minutes Right and gives him everything they were and now he's doing that so he's just great And so it's funny. He used the term opportunistic right right right everyone did it as an opportunity I don't like doing rose. I don't want to do the work the the work. You know what I mean? But it's like it's kev it made sense. It was you know it made sense for me To do so it's like I don't know he's going around doing a press tour about how other people did it to be opportunistic It's like I mean I mean I mean by the way I was asked by so many podcasts to come on and talk about the roast and I was like well I have my own. I have legionist acts I bond fire so I'll talk about it well my own thing It's like this is just like a we it's like a we're like that's definitely opportunistic Well, like everyone a like everyone. I mean literally everyone besides the fucking rock was there for the opportunity And like the rock and Tom Brady like those are the only people that were like like oh this is definitely a If I tell you now all the none of these people hated Kevin Hart did them once I found Once I found out that I was gonna get my job as we get that great insurance back You argue that's 90% of the reason why I did it Yeah, I'll make it sad gas trip back sag insurance isn't that great? Yeah, dude if you go my thumb feels weird just go to a thumb doctor. It's covered Yeah, you don't have to go talk to another doctor to get a thing to get a referral to get an x-ray It's fucking great. It's so good. We're gonna thumb doctor It's always a midget. I'm a thumb doctor. Hello. He's becoming an eye level. Let me see your thumb I give them to yes That thumbs damaged all right The way I fix it by sucking on it of course Everyone knows the last thing he said the last thing he says here goes it may be differently He may feel differently out, but it didn't seem like it at the road But it's like what a fucking shitty thing just again, but again He's just trying the glam on to like a thing. I'm not saying Jay's spite what Kevin, but he did say you got a pool just cuz Kevin Hart probably can't swim Yeah, he doesn't have a pool. He has a moat in front of his house What this what this what this inspired to happen was so the night I could saw this I texted it to Kevin and I was like hey It is naive being a shithead It is what I go, but if this is indicative of all how you feel I would like to know that whatever and he wrote back. He's like no names being it I don't know why he's doing and then he faced time me and so I answered we talked was nice We got to kind of catch you up pulled your cock out. Yeah, yeah, I showed up. We were catching up for a half hour Hey, man, have you seen my new watch, but dude talk about different lives like talking about where it's like we were we're bullshit for like 30 minutes It was very like regular feeling in the world. I didn't know he was that and Which I asked him at one point I go, uh, you know kind of it was wrapping up and he said something to somebody off camera He goes he's like yeah, yeah, yeah two seconds and I Joe I go is that ludicrous and he goes yeah Oh shit, I go where are you? He just flips the camera and he's on the edge of a yacht Looking out over the sea and a bunch of olive and I was like Well, this probably is costing you a fortune. Let me let you go You just say oh you want to see where I'm at and then flip it over and it's just your hard dick in your hand By the way, you know, I did I flipped it over and I go you know Keith Robinson came to my house one time only and his first words Where could you have a smaller TV from my outside TV? I got that's where he said and then he showed me the Galapagos Islands It's a funny because like Kevin Hartz. I mean, you know, he's he's It's like the word riches even like since he doesn't understand it And it's like and then like Tristan comes here and he's like well like he was like wow Do you like this place is fucking incredible like holy shit? Yeah, do you go to flight to stairs to go piss? But to Kevin Hart, you guys are in the exact same place So Kevin Hart this is just a shitty apartment for roommates and now literally I'm sleeping on a mattress with no sheets on my floor. Did you pulled that of a somebody's couch? And no, I'm not even that I pulled across the fucking New York this place is why I'm happy for Kevin Hartz I didn't think I would have this He would kill himself if he had to spend one night here. Oh, this would be his nightmare This is his rocky five where he has to go back to fucking living like he had to do before If he had to spend one night here, he'd be like it'd be like a thing where like He'd be like he's tucked his tail. Honestly, I feel like he would get claustrophobia He's tucked his tail. He goes oh my god if I scream the neighbors can hear me this place Fuck it's weird insults. Oh, he's like his whole house is on land Part of it doesn't even jut out into the ocean He goes people can just walk up and ring the door He doesn't even have a bat cave underneath this house. It's so you're saying you don't have any columns. Yeah, he's like he's got actual bats He goes there's no knee-growing a booth stopping people from getting through You can just drive on to his block. I walked up and I said where are the hounds You don't have hounds for your property here's the order food replaces that he's just having that restaurant in his house He isn't fully operating subway I told you say he's gonna be in town for two months. I was like we should have him fucking I'm gonna try to get him to come on skanks. I'm gonna come on skanks. Come on. He takes the rule He did a good like oh we should hang when I'm in town. I'm like yeah, yeah, yes. Let's do it. Let's do it with cameras and microphones Yeah, yeah, for sure where I can be in opportunities. By the way, actually what it's funny But something he actually what he actually said was he was like I was like you know, let's do dinner or something Why you're going to go? Well, I want to come to your place. I'm going to come to your place and have dinner So I would like to come here and and report what his facial expression party goes he goes Is that a caldera hot tub dude? This is a beautiful. This is a beautiful house to Kevin Hart This is a trap house Right I mean I might I might have Christine naked putting cocaine in the small bags in the living room Just so he just understands he goes. Yeah, this is what you said. I should you not like An unquestionably beautiful fucking house Kevin Hart would come in here and he wouldn't touch things Yeah, I wouldn't air be and be this year. I was desperate. He's just cast on here He'd walk in look around the the foyer go. Jay you could always ask me for money man. Look at how you shouldn't be living like this I helped it. I'm good. You shouldn't be living like that And I put you on a rose man. I can help you more I mean like what do I gotta do to help kid you out of this poverty? What do you need to get yourself up by the boot straps and do for yourself Tell me tell me first you can't just live this life in popperous Kevin Hart better coming you better not go to his hotel room or his place He's gonna send you to a whole other 20 year spiral. Oh, if I go to a hotel room dude Yeah, his home has fucking robot service. Yeah, I don't have the patience for this is like I'm staying at the Wilder for the story and they're like where I just like the entire fuck I want him to come here And I want to really judge his face as he looks at things and he goes like I wish you could see it so many he goes that's cool pool He goes that's cool TV outside like you have robbed. I think somebody stole most of your pool You know I have a big screen TV in every room he goes Bathrooms I don't even use the bathrooms. I just bring a computer to the bathroom. He goes Wait, you don't have a urinal in your own bathroom With the fox in the urinals a thing everyone knew that when Howard Stern announced that you got a bathroom built with the urinal Oh, why don't we consider that I wouldn't I wouldn't say it's a stupid thing It's kind of nice though you know if I had a huge if I had a huge bathroom Like a huge like heated floor steam room sauna like rich crazy rich person bathroom Have me urinal will be pretty has to be one of those long ease that goes all the way to the ground. No you piss on your feet I'm telling you Right Everyone's pissing on my feet guys get out of here I'm standing in an actual toilet I like toys good feet wet It feels like the beach a little It is that hack joke like water's cold today, but it's because the socks are so Don't you know do you those troughs you piss your it's the splash back on your shoes Sure, but if you have one in your house the splash back in your shoes If I have that much more on your fucking pants if you don't do it the other way also I think the moon you know it's a urinal's terrible idea you're right But if I could say something if I'm if I'm if I have a fucking urinal in my own House with like heated floors all that stuff. I have my own urinal shoes. There's no chance. I have bathroom shoes But I think also I think the urinal the move for the urinal is to have it like buy the shower on equal flooring So you're just kind of pissing just piss on the shower at that point. Well, I do I wouldn't have the stupid you do in the shower you know I never do in the shower stop I don't really pissing my shower that often really I'd say but maybe almost every time I don't I pinched right before I shower Because it it drums it up. I aim dick directly at drain Jay What I don't know I was gonna make a point about your little dick, but I was like, yeah, we can move on a little thing I don't do that Honestly, that's where I kind of came to conclusion Think about how you ain't your dick This is why I build on it. This is why I build because I was like anything you're a dick and do my dick and do better My dick and do everything better than yours. Could it bake a pie? No neither could I. Yes, I can My dick is perfectly like small enough that I never have to aim it if it's perfectly in the drain Well, the problem with having a little when you're dick is soft and it being when it puds up small is what I've done Several times in my life is you think you're just letting the toilet seat hold your dick down the piss into the bowl But what you're actually doing is just pissing between the seat and the bowl Are you paying you your your your you tuck it and then just Historically because I believe when I've been fat or especially you can just do that You're just gonna sit on it and you fucking talk dick. There's nothing through. There's no MJ. You'll know this you love you But you'll never know this right you might get chubby enough. Sorry. There is nothing Just more disheartening than sitting naked in a toilet and looking in the mirror and seeing your mushed up When I when that happened when there's a hotel room it hasn't on the back of the but they force you in a hotel room I throw a fucking towel over it like Remember a poltergeist when the kid threw the fucking blanket over the the clown. I just wanted to add in my life Don't you know cloaks over the beer is like a Jewish view 100% is what I do doggy seeing yourself mushed up as you're shitting to it's like Perfectly arched fucking hunchback. Oh my god. You look like a capital G You look like a fucking you're looking at ice cream sundae you're looking at your laptop on top of a Amazon toilet paper box And that's what Kevin Hart walks by You're looking layers of ice cream. Do imagine sitting down and shitting you're just like looking attractive still god damn it That'd be crazy. I can only jerk off when I shit It hits to me dude. I went to it my chick brought me to a wedding and I got to drunk the night before the wedding And I'm in the hotel room like on the toilet fully naked shitting and throwing up and I was like so helpless That she was like walking into moose shit. I'm naked with that awful I would have started writing a note Dude she could change you I'm gonna back there gonna fight coming up. Yeah, yeah, who the guy that fucked up your burger king or who that bitch You're for the skankfest fight. Yeah, how will half that's that guy? He's like he's firm. Yeah, that's why that's happening. I confirm both of them ever got mad at me She's like, oh, you're gonna train Josie and I'm like I'm not like a master trainer I'm like told you're a master bader. I was like you can come out and Solid write it down namely the episode you're a master bader And I was like you come train one day too. Why not like I don't give a shit But apparently Aaron told me that she's got I believe Red belt and Taekwondo. She believes that she said that I believe she does She's a big unfortunate boxing. They're doing Taekwondo. Yeah, but I feel like if you put Josie and anything against her Josie gets really riled up if she gets angry She'll beat the shit Aaron maybe I think so but I think Aaron has will have Zilch on stamina, Zilch. I don't know how much Josie has either, but she just has definitely more of a history of exercise What if Aaron gets into the like the ring and then just goes at her neck and pulls out a secret zipper and just Unzips into a completely ripped it's like the head like an Fuck reference total record total recall I told you they fought me in here you fought with your wrong bull I'm actually a hot guy Josie Josie stop being so annoying Josie next time make the suits on time. Yeah, Aaron is my ali is don't lie about your ticket sales Josie if you're going to lose weight just lose it. Stop talking about it nearly as synthetic human construct My real name is TA time. I'll be about it. Stop posting about losing weight so much. Just do it Show us the end. Show us after. I don't want to ask for a durin. It's before and after I never asked for a live update. Please No, it has pouring picture No one wants to see a looking progress Trash and Josie has heard of this many favorite bit, which is it a boy? She wrapped this bitch up. Sure. Absolutely. Oh, love. Thank you so much for hanging out with us. Thanks for coming over and We will catch you guys later to speak on the Friday night. Hang. Oh, yeah, right. And the next week we'll be back at the stand Why don't we eat out of the sand today? Just a Ronnie Chang What the fuck is Ronnie Chang? I also know that you know he is You don't know he is not with the old producer for the show ding dong. Nope You don't know who he is at all. He's a big comic. Yeah, he's a good guy. Ronnie Chang Great guy. Do we should be even kicked out of the stand for it? That helped help big of a comic is he About five seven like ship hell No, he's big. Uh, no, but he's like been one point seven million followers. He's yeah, acting roles He's a daily show. Yeah, he's he's big. So they just kick us out. Oh followed by Lev Ferr. I like running. He's a good guy They just they just kick us out for it. I just I agree that should have been the case I said they should have put him do they offer to put us in the small room? No, they should they said we're just out. No, Ronnie Chang should have been over at the stand west They want that to be a big thing so much. It's the same amount of seats for sure put him over to stand west We have a standing show over there. So I'd agree that's fucked up But I nothing against Ronnie Chang. I like Ronnie. I love Ronnie. He's great. I know I have no knowledge of him, but I love him You fucking hate Ronnie dude. I've been hate I have a punching bag with Ronnie Chang's face just like he has won Okay, Ronnie Chang's a sweetheart. I'm sure right. It's great. I like to kiss him on the mouth I'd fucking Yeah, but you know the sense you'd be kicking us out. They should be kicking us out But don't worry. We'll be back. We'll be back big and man Are we gonna do some really insulting Ronnie Chang impressions? I got the tape. Oh, Regent of scale His tours called Hassan With Hassan hates right so what oh, they're on a tour together Assam in the urge man, he got fucking exposed remember that yeah, that was brutal He just fucking is like I never mind what happened Come on That's how I'm an ash. I forgot. I have literally said uh Harold and Kumar alive. What is this? Yeah, he said it is. He said that he was like he told stories about like I think his kids being like Send anthrax and shit. Oh, yeah, they didn't at all and then he was like oh, yeah Well, look we of course we embellish stories. He goes. No, we embellish comedy Yeah, you're telling a fucking story trying to say that you're trying to get you're just throwing a tail or yeah, it goes That's fucking why and then he was just like hey look we do that in comedy If he's in the Indians have so few people to give a shit about they fucking don't give them honestly if he's still doing this shit and still on TV then Steve Renazese should be fine Absolutely dude free rent is easy free rent is easy. That's this is far crazier. Yeah, 9/11/7/11 Get thrown out of Motown. Yeah All right, thank you so much, Lev. We will see you guys on the fight and hang and then of course next week back at the stand We take back our rightful place of Ronnie Chang's throne until then peace, Mike You've been listening to the Legion of Skanks podcast with big J. Overseen. Did you suck it? I think I'm instinctually suck it I think with three scenes We have to be fucking over Lewis. Lewis Gomez Lewis J Gomez you're trying to watch a retard-drawn swastika hilarious I'm sort of done as a point guard of podcasting being a fat gay guy It's so fucking awesome and comedian Tristan Bolling the Legion of Skanks podcast

Podcast Summary

Key Points:

  1. The podcast features a mix of absurd humor, personal anecdotes, and satirical commentary on relationships, politics, and daily life.
  2. Central themes include a recurring dog-related chaos, involving the dog shitting in the crate and a sister who accidentally leaves the hose on, causing flooding.
  3. The host recounts a series of humorous and exaggerated stories involving family members, roommates (like Metzger), and personal betrayals, such as a sister stealing money and lying.
  4. A strong focus on comedic critique of political figures and media, especially regarding Lisa Trigger’s outspokenness and perceived hypocrisy.
  5. The hosts mock serious comedy trends, arguing that modern podcasts have become too politicized and serious, losing their humor.
  6. There is a recurring joke about a mustache culture, with Andrew Schultz being a standout example.
  7. The show promotes sponsors like BodyBrain Coffee (with Tonka Dalai as a secret ingredient) and Sheath (underwear with dual-pouch technology).
  8. A segment highlights a fictional or exaggerated story about a cruise ship trip where Lisa Trigger reacts negatively to a simple question about the women’s march.

Summary:

The podcast blends chaotic personal stories with sharp, satirical humor, focusing on absurd family dynamics, petty betrayals, and political commentary. A central storyline involves a dog that frequently soils its crate, leading to a series of comedic mishaps, including a sister leaving a hose on and flooding the backyard. The hosts recount a series of ridiculous anecdotes about roommates, financial theft, and emotional conflicts, often using exaggerated tones to mock serious or political topics.

A key critique is directed at Lisa Trigger’s aggressive public commentary, which the hosts argue is hypocritical and emotionally driven. The conversation shifts to broader cultural observations, including the over-serious tone of modern comedy and politics, with jokes about mustaches, Nazi aesthetics, and political figures. The episode ends with promotional content for sponsors, including a coffee brand with a unique "Tonka Dalai" ingredient and a underwear brand featuring dual-pouch technology.

Throughout, the tone remains irreverent, blending personal anecdotes with biting satire to create a chaotic yet engaging narrative.

FAQs

BodyBrain Coffee is a functional coffee brand featuring a unique ingredient called Tonka Dalai, linked to testosterone support. It’s made with five simple ingredients and can be consumed hot or cold, added to protein shakes, or used in other drinks.

Sheath underwear uses dual-pouch technology that separates the penis and balls, providing comfort and a more natural look. It's praised for its quality, fit, and performance, with a 20% discount available using promo code LOS.

The promotional code for BodyBrain Coffee is LOS20, which provides 20% off and free shipping for subscribers.

The promotional code for Sheath underwear is LOS, which gives 20% off and a free first pair with a guarantee that money will be refunded if the customer is not satisfied.

The podcast features sponsorships from BodyBrain Coffee, Sheath, and GLD. GLD offers gold and hand-set jewelry with a 40% discount for new customers using code SKANKS.

The comedian criticizes Lisa Trigger for being overly reactive and judgmental, especially regarding people's personal lives, and notes that her behavior seems more about personal frustration than genuine insight.

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