Let's Talk Tweakments

This is a crowd podcast. Welcome to Go Love Yourself! Laura are you going to get some cowboy boots for 2024? If you want to say something's doing it, I'm going to be doing it. And probably won't you stretch your gold ones that you got though because they love you. They are hideous. I can't believe you hate them. Smithy! How you been? I'm not sinning you in a minute. How are you? I know. Do you know what guys? We had one week off recorded. Laura, I feel like I was sitting in a big, lucky year. I miss you. How are you? It has been ages. Yeah, I'm alright mate. I'm a little bit social-battered out, but I'm fine. I've had lots of people I've stayed, which has been lovely. I've loved it. I genuinely loved it. But I'm also really ready to have my house back. I've been on my own in a dark room for a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very long time. The intro, but in me. Cool. So I'm not, I'm not, I'll see you when I'm tired. I'll see you when I'm tired. Yeah, I'll fit you in there and I think I'll be alright by then. Oh mate, was it nice to show off the house though because I just feel like it was probably great to have everyone around to show them. It's just nice that we actually have a spare room. Some people can stay rather than just having a blow-up bed in the middle of my dressing room floor. So that is just lovely to be like, have a bed, actually have some comfort and not worry about it to play in the middle of the night. So yeah, all good. I feel just super cute. Oh, thanks. I'm so pleased. No drums. How are things with you? Yeah, all good. I think I'm not necessarily social battery, though. I still think that I'm a little bit burnt out, mate. I think, oh yeah, I was a silly goose at the end of last year. I was such a silly goose. And I think I'm still a little tiny bit burnt out. But I'm just being good now. I'm trying to sort of scale back on everything that I can, which is nice, minus seeing friends and family because that's how I actually recharge my batteries. But yeah, just, I think I've admitted defeat. And I'm like, no. Good. I'm glad. Yeah. I've only been telling you for months and months. I know. This thing you have and my mum and my family are like, what the fuck are you doing? I'm like, no, no, I have to do it. I have to do all of these things. I have to have to have to. Why? Why? So silly. So I've let my lesson and that's a lesson to everybody else. You can't do it all. And having half an hour off a week of life is not enough. Not the one. Not the one. Not the one. But no, I'm feeling good. I'm feeling a bit more positive because one spring on this way. And I feel like this year, Laura Adlington last year was the year of Barbie. This year is the year of country music and cowboy boots. - Sorry. - Man, I'm so buzzin', man. I am upset with this song. It's not gonna be long before TikTok and IG Reels ruined it because everyone's gonna be using the audio, but the same takes in all the rooms. - Ma. - Ma. - We all say, it's an e-commerce. - We all say what did you do? - It's such an e-worm. So I had it all in my head and then the other night it went to bed at 11 o'clock. I was gettin' the washing up. Matt had gone out to bed before me, and I was like, "Alexa, I'm believe you don't say Texas Hold 'em." It was like, "I'm full of volume." Matt takes me like, "Really?" (laughing) And I'm dancing in my kitchen like a cowgirl. - Woo! - Like, "Woo!" - Love that song. - Yes. - And I'll be honest with you, if I'm gonna get hate for this, but I did not like the last album that much. - But this is a bit of me. - I don't even remember the last album. Unless it was Lemonade. I don't remember it. - The Nacons. - Oh, Lemonade was, I can't remember it. And I feel like it went a bit downhill from there. Just not my kind of music, but it went a bit of-- - I don't think I like that. - Maybe a bit of me, but either way, Beyonce doing country, guys. It wasn't on my 2024 Bingo card list. - Nope. - But it will now be my 2024. And two things. One is that that song was clearly not built for people with high voices, because I can't sing it at all. So I get to like the, in a Texas Aidenholder, so bring your cards down, down, down, down. - God, God, I need you to be kidding. - I love it. - It doesn't alter. - It gives us an alter. - I feel like you sound really sultry and great. Can we get you to do it though? Down, down, down, down, down, down, down. - What the fuck is that? (laughing) Oh my God, I'm so jealous. I just convinced I'm an alto down or a ten. I'm like, so bring your cards down, down, down, down. (laughing) - Yeah, it was bad the first time. You didn't need to increase it. - No, I didn't just consent. - Anyway, let's move on from that to Laura. Are you gonna get some cowboy boots for 2024? - If you're on the same as doing it, I'm gonna be doing it. And probably don't you stretch your gold ones that you've got. - I can't believe you hate them. - Love you and Lottie, they are hideous. - I cannot, do you know what? I cannot, I cannot comprehend that you don't like them. They are guys, I bought, if you know Lottie, it's in Lottie, Dryden, Lottie. She bought these gold cowboy boots, and they were like, oh my God, I couldn't stop thinking about them. So as soon as my January spending ban was done, I bought them. Laura doesn't like them. They're hideous, mate. I think they're sensational. - Not a fan, but I mean, I think if you're trendy and fashionable, fine. I think I'm just boring. So I think I'm not trendy and fashionable. - Not fine. - But I love you for saying. (laughing) This is the thing with like you and Lottie though, and like other people that like, I really colourful and like fashionable. I was like, I think it looks great on you. I just, it would just be, - Not just, it's just not for me, that's it. - But different horses for different courses. - I did better with the horses. - Nice, nice, nice. I'll just say it. - Just get it. - I will get you in a pair of cowboy boots this year. Maybe they could be nude or black? - Oh yeah, I'll go nude. I like a nude cowboy. - A nude cowboy boot. I think they'll look great with, maybe like a denim dress? Or is that too much? - No, love that. - Oh, love that. - I will stop at a cowgirl hat, though. - Okay, no cowgirl hats. - Fine. - Too gimmicky. - Fine. (laughing) (upbeat music) - This is a paydad from BetterHelp. - Smithy, I feel like I already know the answer to this question. But I want to know, do you struggle to find the time to do things that you want to do? - Yes, yes. And I get, (laughing) shocking you, yes I do. And I think, I'm probably not alone in this, but we're trying to fit everything in. It's all to sort of please other people and do things that you sort of need to do. And the kind of the wants to do or the joyful bits kind of fall by the wayside. And that's not my favourite. And I know I'm not alone in that. I know so many people wish that we had more time in general, but could also make those special things, those lovely things that bring us joy and happiness and more of a priority as well. - Definitely, yeah. But it's really hard to do, because life gets in the way, but like you said, it is so important. And actually, therapy can be a really good way to find out, I think, what matters to you and help you prioritise it. So you can do more of it. - Yeah mate. And when I did therapy a few years ago, I had to do the things that sort of brought me joy. One thing every day, and at that time I was so low that that felt like a mounted decline. But just doing that, I realised all those things that I like. And one of them was actually going out for a walk and listening to a podcast, which sounds so simple. But actually, it brings me a lot of joy and it's a good headspace moment that it was doing therapy that one made me realise that I loved that and two made me make it a priority. So yeah, if you're thinking of starting therapy, we definitely recommend giving better help a try. One of the best things is that is all online. So it's really easy to fit into your schedule. You just need to fill in a quick questionnaire and you'll be matched to a registered therapist. They have over 1,000 therapists in the UK already with a huge variety of expertise in mental health. And our listeners get 10% of their first month at betterhelp.com/golove. That's bettetetrhethlp.com/golove. (upbeat music) Okay, guys, just a bit of a trigger warning here. I am very squeamish and we do talk a little bit about surgery right at the beginning. So if you are equally squeamish as me and you don't want it, you can skip past that. It is going to be at the beginning of the chat and the rest of the episode should be fine. But we just wanted to give you a bit of a trigger warning on that. - Right, today is episode, guys. This is something that I want to talk about on social media for weeks. And I keep writing stuff down and I keep going to press posts and then something keeps stopping me. And I do know what I think it is. I think it's because this is a topic that is sensitive. And also it's just not something you can put in an Instagram caption or in a few story frames. I think it needs to be a more an in-depth discussion or making it out to some really serious. It's actually quite not. Basically, I don't know if any of you have seen it but I live here at Wood, who she was a love Islander and she's a presenter and she got a new show out on ITVX, which is called The Price of Perfection. So there's five episodes in the series and each one of the focuses on different areas of the body where people are getting these kind of tweakments and treatments done. So it's face, boobs, bum, vaginas and then the penis. My imaginary penis in the last episode was not comfortable. Let me tell you, that was a tough watch. The whole thing though was a tough watch and it's kind of made, it's brought to the forefront basically some concerns I have around this growing trend about people putting things in their faces and their bodies to kind of conform and to look a certain way. And I have a lot of feelings about it and they're complex and they're nuanced and I don't want to be judgmental because I genuinely think each their own. But I find it quite scary. It was fascinating watch. I definitely recommend you go and watch it but do so with care and caution if you're not in a great place. But it was also really frightening to me. So I mentioned it to you. You've seen it. What did you make of it? - I actually could only make it through one episode. - Because I was. - I'm so squeamish. I don't like blood and guts mate and the second that they peeled this, I don't know why I was expecting from a facelift other than literally the surgeons. you know, scoring down the edge of your face on your hairline and lifting your face up, I saw someone's face being peeled off and it was, I genuinely couldn't make it and I saw like the trailers for the other episodes and I just was like, I can't do this. It's a fantastic documentary, I think, because it's showing this actual surgery happening, showing the realities of this surgery and the people, what they look like afterwards. And I think it's really interesting that it's been hosted by Olivia Outwood, who has had lots of treatments, is getting treatments done while this is all happening as well. And so it's done by somebody who likes it, but also is watching some of these procedures happening and being like, oh my god. I mean, there's one scene which is so graphic where they literally stuff her face like a pit, like she says, like a pitter-brod. Oh, I can't. It was the eyebrow one where they took a chunk of her hair from the back of her head to keep the hair follicles and put it where her eyebrows go, I didn't know that was a thing. Yeah, it took seven hours. So they sliced the back of her head, as you said. And then they removed individual hairs, and much like a hair transplant that all the men have for a receding hairline. They have that, that she did that for her eyebrows. And I struggled with that one. And I also really struggled with one episode where a lady had a Brazilian butt lift and it cost a 26,000 pounds. And they said, I'm probably going to be really unpopular saying this, but you know what? Like I am so sick of just not being able to have a voice. I think that that is really, really sad. I think that is a real shame to be honest with you that people feel the need to spend their money and they have this massive risk of infection or death. Because let's be honest with you, BBLs, Brazilian butlifts, people have died from these procedures, Lauren. This is not fun and games. This is not a bit of lip filler, a bit of Botox. This is serious stuff. And you know what? Really kind of I couldn't help get either as well that I thought the woman that did it, like she can't even see it. It's good boys. So like who's it for? Who's it for? And I think it's really important to just caveat right from the top here that when it comes to like tweakments and injectables and fillers and all of that, right? I think on a personal level, it's an individual choice. It's none of my business. It's nothing to do with me. You do what you want to do with your body, your body, your choice. But I think it's a kind of a reflection of like as a society with fucked. So this is why we're doing this episode, guys, because it's so both Lauren, I agree that body autonomy, it is your choice. It's your body. You do you. But then Lauren, I kind of kind of split in that I semi sort of pro it because I think the only reason that I don't have Botox and fillers is because I can't afford it. If I could afford it, I would have Botox and fillers right now. We're going to talk about that. But what we want to kind of talk about is actually the reasons why people are getting them and the links that it has to Diet culture and the similarities it kind of has. And the biggest issue I have actually with it, despite wanting to get it is actually it being a trend. I think we'll get into that. But it's it's so hard. Lauren, I think we're going to struggle with this episode because it's like you want to just say, oh, you know, either cosmetic surgery is bad or good. Why are you doing it? And it's and it's more complex than that because where does the line stop? Because I remember mentioning this at I think it was one of our live shows or something. And I said I had in visor line in like 2020 and having that what I think is that, you know, it's a cosmetic tweakment, I guess, changed my confidence. I do not know if I'd be the same person today as I was there. I'm not. It was such an insecurity of mine. I paid three and a half thousand pounds to change that. And I'm a completely different person would do it again in a heartbeat. Is that considered as cosmetic? Where does the line go? And I and that for me was like, I changed that because I was really, really self conscious of my smile. And I wanted what is considered a perfect smile. And I got it. And I feel better for it. But then you know, I mean, where does that where does that line cross is so interesting? No, I'd get it. I get it. I sit here and I go, there's nothing wrong with that. And if you'd have had a like bit of a very toxic bit of it, I'd be like, again, I'd say there's nothing wrong with that either. There is no judgment from me on that, although it probably does sound like there is. And I think if I'm being really honest with myself, I think there is. Do you know what it is? It's because I look around, I look on social media, I look on the tele or Netflix, whatever. And all I'm seeing is people that are trying to look like King Kodash, or they're just trying to look the same. And it just makes me really sad that we kind of have shied away from like individuality anymore. I think if you have a real insecurity about something, this is it, it's we're already like, oh, but you know, so you can get it. Yeah. Yeah. You know, why not want to just make yourself look better if you can. But then I also worry it's a slippery slope. I don't like the fact that it's trend driven. I can't help but feel like lit fillers are going to be the new like the big duck lips are going to be the new skinny eyebrows than 90s. I completely agree. And this is what is interesting. I was actually interesting about that documentary was because of it being a trend and actually the Kylie Jenner lips of six years ago are already going out. A lot of people are getting their lip fillers dissolved or making them smaller. This is where I struggle. I think if I would love to get lip filler, I may get it one day if I can afford it. I'd have to get some cheek filler in my face to lift up a bit. That's my decision. But I'm doing that because I want that for my face. I'm not doing it because it's a trend. I don't think maybe we'll get into it. And I would love to have Botox in my forehead because I don't necessarily want the lines. I mean, whatever. This documentary gave lots of statistics on the trend of cosmetic procedures and tweekments. And a really interesting one I found was that more than half of 25 year olds think that lip filler is as normal as a haircut. The trend. Yeah. For getting lip fillers. I don't I had no so many people who have got lip fillers who are really young. I'm not talking 30s. I'm talking like late teens 20s. Yeah. And that really worries me. I think there should be a minimum age of 21. It's currently 18. Maybe even 25. Yeah, maybe. But again, if you can drink at 18 in this country, like it's when you become an adult, I agree with you. I think that there needs to definitely be more safeguards put in place for people younger than it's very unregulated. Yeah. It's just becoming so common. And this is what scares me. So I was at the dentist a while ago. And my dentist mentioned, we're going to start doing Botox and injectables. You should start thinking about having them. How old are you? No, I don't like that. And I thought, how rude is that? No, that's not nice. So again, it's just another another thing for us women to be kind of beaten, I beaten with a stick with to be told, like, you need to do this. And my hairdressers, I have to say, have now upstairs in the hair salon. They're going to start doing injectables. So it's going to be funny. You said that as common as getting a haircut, oh, you know, I just pop upstairs and I'll get this done as well. And that's what I don't like because I also think like just like you said earlier, it's also, I think another way of kind of not penalising, but like making people who can't afford it feel worse because they're like, oh, can't keep up with that. Can't do that. I'd like to, but can't. And that's another reason I don't like it because you've got this kind of economic, like socio economic barrier to it. And you know, people want him and then they can't. The whole thing just feels it key to me. And I just don't like it. I also don't do have to say I've thought about this a lot recently. And I have to also recognise my privilege. So this is a really difficult conversation to have, right? This is not me saying sitting here saying, well, I look like Claudia Schiffer. So I don't want you. I don't need it. I'm not saying that what I'm saying is there is nothing about my face in particular, no particular feature that I dislike enough to go and have anything done. And I think a lot of that has come from the work that I've done on myself with my body, my appearance in that I just don't really care. I like to have me. I like to have me. I actually done a little bit of fake tan because it makes me feel good. But like, I don't have anything that I have a major in security about. So I'm really privileged and lucky in that. And I know that a lot of it comes from insecurity. And actually, I was watching this documentary. I watched it again with Lotte, Bakel Flottie, you stayed with me recently. And she said, and I said like, I was, I was being a judgey bitch. I was like, I hate the the duck face look. I hate it. Like, I don't think it looks nice. And she said to me, what do you see when you see people like that? And I was like, I just see this plot. I just see instantly. I just see plastic. I just see fake. And I don't like it. And she's like, see, when I look at them, she said, I see insecurity. Interesting. And I was like, okay, that's an interesting take on it. And that's why this is such a divisive conversation. And I don't want to genuinely don't want to upset people. But this is the whole thing does scare me. It really, really scares me. But this is why we're having this conversation and it's good that that it's you and me. Because again, I would look at those people and kind of be like, not for me, but you do you? There are some people who absolutely love that look. And there's, and there's, there's this thing where where the lips are so big that you can't close your mouth. I didn't think that was the goal. But apparently that's the goal that there's a name for it to have this little hole in your mouth, right? Doesn't close. But I don't understand it because I don't want it. Or I am not so like you said, I'm not so laden with insecurities about my lip that it's all I can think about. But I was so laden with insecurities about my wonky teeth that I did something about it. Yeah. So, but but I think there is a line of me going to a dentist, still spending a huge amount of money. I couldn't have I put stuck on a credit card. And we'll get to the get in and debt for it in a second. Couldn't afford it. But that was not necessarily invasive cosmetic procedure versus having needles in my face or having things pulled and plucked and that's more serious surgery that I think people need to consider. Botox obviously isn't that and to an extent for lezzyn but that it is quite significant surgery to your face which is really scary and I think for me it probably comes down to the why which is what I have an issue with. I don't know if you'll say the why you're doing it are you doing it to look like Kylie Jenner who is a woman in her young twenties who is so unbelievably fucking privileged beyond any realistic notion of the world who has everything available to her and you're trying to look like her yet you're somebody who works nine to five and has kids and has a life or has friends or do this and you're trying to look like this person that is not ideal because it's not realistic. She's not being really she has not been realistic about what she's had done none of the Kardashians have. And that's the thing I think I have more respect for people like Olivia who are really at least open about it and say like I've had this done I've had this done and then you look at there before and after pictures and you're like it's just no way that they would have achieved that without surgery so like at least be honest with it and I always wonder like I feel so passionate about it that you know like how I feel about filters and things like that as well I almost want it to be like described online like people to like people that have got influence people celebrities people like that they're just creating these like they're not unrealistic beauty standards anymore they're impossible and normal women are just thinking like well I need to like that I need to look like that at great expense their mental health and their purse yeah and that's what I don't like and they're also then going to kind of like backstreet people people that are not trying to that don't know what they're doing and they're putting themselves at risk and that that again that is a real worry for me on one of the episodes about bombs there was one lady getting filler in her bum and if they inject it in the wrong place it can get infected you can get a sepsis and you can die and this woman was like oh no no I mean it can't it can't happen and Olivia was sort of saying well actually like I've done my research and like it can and it it has happened she's like yeah but it's only if you go like too deep into the tissue but obviously that that is a risk and this woman obviously does it day in day out but there will be so many people trying to make a quick buck especially in the current climate and doing it and who aren't trained properly and putting people vulnerable people at risk yeah that I will hard fast that needs to be more regulated those people need to be find or prosecuted that are providing illegal services that is I can't there are no words for how angry that makes me and similarly the pressure that that puts on like you said to spend this money and get yourself insignificant debt like you said that person's my little whatever was like 26 grand this this huge amounts of money and massive and and and it can go wrong in it and people dying it's not like one or two people it's it's huge amounts for this like you said impossible beauty standard that people who are far fucking richer than all of us and have every privilege and amenity in the world have and we're trying to look like them and that that's where I get upset because it's not fair yeah because it's not permanent either it's not permanent so you're constantly having to top it up and and keep up with it and change it and that's what I don't like but you know going back to the what you're saying about like the risk it going wrong like there was that story recently wasn't there about that 20 year old there was Morgan Ribeiro she went to Turkey for weight loss surgery and she died after getting an infection which led to septic shock and that eventually led to a heart attack she was 20 20 years old she had weight loss surgery because she wanted to lose weight so badly she was so desperate to lose weight that she went she had this surgery and she died from the complications 20 years old it's just so sad that that's the I know see you know here we are talking about more surgery things than you know perhaps Botox and fillers but there is just a very real risk here and again I always come back to the why of why you're doing it if you can't sleep at night or you everything about your life is so you have got such you are so self conscious about something on your body and it hugely affects your life and and all of that I think that's just I think that's a fine reason I think there are lots of fine reasons to do it actually and absolutely fine if you want to do I I don't care if you want to fill your face with anything I don't care you do you my issue is if you're doing it as a trend if you're doing it to look like someone this is where we have issues but then I don't know where that line is because I don't know if the reason I want to fill my full head full of Botox so I don't have lines on is because so I look like JLo who's who's got filters on her photos and she's 50 whatever I don't know I don't know because it's so similar it's so similar to die culture isn't it you know we've both said that if it was super easy we would both want to be slimmer but is that just because you know we're looking at the JLo's and the Kardashians and they all looks slimmer look at other than a great time I don't know what the line is because it's so unbelievably ingrained and it's so hard because as women we are not allowed to gain weight and we are not allowed to age and so if we age gracefully this that word again that we always hear age gracefully then you know we're kind of you know we've told we let ourselves go and we're age in and whatever but then if we do start to get like treatments or tweekments or cosmetic surgery then you run the risk of oh she's gone too far yeah she's gone too far and so it just is a reminder just like die culture like we cannot win as women we cannot win so I think you're right in that like you know do it for you not for trends because this is the crux of it trends change and this is what makes me so cross about women's body trends like you cannot change your body type right so you know 1950s we had our glass then in the kind of like before in the 20s it was the kind of straight up straight down then twiggy bought that back in again in the 60s then you know in the 90s it was the kind of supermodel like Amazonian goddess whatever then it was heroin she got after that so what women did is like historically is they starved themselves or like did certain exercises or contorted their body with like corsets or whatever to conform to these trends and in this is what I'm just you know concerned about and the other thing I think and I was speaking to to people about and I spoke to people about this for the book actually who were saying that when they were younger they were made fun of because they were African-American and they had big lips and they were bullied to shit for it and they they said to me like how ironic is it that like now the thing that they were bullied for is now in fashion and in vogue and it's all trendy and that's what everybody wants and this is why trends are bollocks they're bollocks mate and to have your body or skin colour or your your traits be in trend like that it must just feel so shit like that is that's just really really awful because also we all know that you know I'd love to be sitting in in like 2034 and seeing what we all think about the big lip trend of 15 years ago you know I mean like like I don't know how it's gonna go it's the trend bit and and interestingly the other statistic that I wrote down because I just was like flabbergasted is Kylie Jenner at the time that she started getting her lips done led to a 70% increase in inquiries for lip filler that is not a coincidence but I understand because I look at her lips looking like luscious and juicy and fabulous and they look she looks sensational with them lipstick on and you know these big lips some do look fantastic and I kind of want that as well I've got quite a thin lips and I'd love to have that but a lot of those inquiries are coming from very very young people like teenagers and very early 20s and what I'm saying there's nothing wrong with wanting to get that done at all as I said if I could I probably would it's just this trend part of it and I and we all know in a few years time that's gonna go like everything's gone interestingly as well I read a statistically other day that was saying that there's a massive increase in people inquiring about face injectables during and after the transmission of love island specifically for 18 to 25 year olds really and it just goes to show like these shows these people these kind of celebrities they do have an influence and people people are influenced and I think they do have a responsibility I agree I was actually thinking about this earlier because as I said at at some point in the next couple years I will get it there's not a lot that can convince me otherwise and it's like with somebody that has you know you know a small community online I feel like I have a a responsibility and a duty to let people know that I've had that done so if I'm if people are telling me oh you've got really lovely skin I'm not going to go oh it's a new night cream I'm using I I should be honest yeah so it doesn't matter for everybody else to necessarily be honest but I think if you've got a following online you should be honest which is why there's a few people that talk about that so Louise Pentland she's had Botox and there's a few other creators that have had Botox and all it feels and they're honest about it and they look fucking gray and I appreciate that because I know that your skin is not looking so tall and you're two years older than me but it's okay because there's a there's a reason for that and and I'm not comparing myself to you now anymore and that's really helpful I fully respect that and I think that's the cruxfit as well is when people lie about it or worse they're then like I've been trying this new night cream and this is what it's like you know like no like we've really principled with what we do online and on the podcast like we don't just say yes to anything we try it out first and if we don't love it we don't recommend it but we are really principled and I love that we do that. Sadly other people aren't that genuine. No, but I think you can see through it. If you looked hard enough and you wanted to, I think you could see through it. But I think being honest about it, I think go for it and we need to be realistic that the world has changed. And I think if the availability of injectables, so Botox and filler, etc. was this high 10 years ago? Would I've got it then? Would all of my friends be getting it then instead of now? Maybe because that would have been the way of the world. If it was in the 90s, what our parents have been getting it, maybe, it's sometimes like the way the world turns. But again, my issue is the safety of it, the money of it, and the reason for it. And it just, that's the bit that really worries me. I don't think it's going anywhere. I really don't want to be sent anywhere. I think the program kind of alluded to this is that the amount of people that are getting their fillers removed or reduced has really increased. But I think what people are going for now is this kind of more natural, just slightly tweaked, slightly honed look. So it's more subtle. Again, personal preference. But like again, it's just a little bit hard to detect sometimes and it can make you feel kind of worse. Like you say, when you're thinking why, it looks fresh face as they do. But I don't think we're going anywhere. All I want is for people to just do it because they want to do it. And what I just also want is for people to like, not be sheep, like embrace your natural face and features and stuff. And for us not all to look the same. But again, it's easier said than done, isn't it? Because there are just some people who are right. That's where the line is. It's that, you know, we don't, on the face of it, we can say, you know, accept yourself, but we both know that is so far, it's not sometimes impossible. And for a lot of people, it may help, it may not. We don't know. It's really, it's so hard. And I also feel like a hypocrite because I've had my eyebrows micro-related because I've get my hair dyed every six weeks because, you know, I, whatever, do you know what I mean? That is something where's the line? Yeah, because it's like, you know, because you get, we both do fake tan because we feel better. Why do we feel better? Because we feel like we look better. That's why. A lot of it. Most of it is probably because we look better. You get your hair done. Why? Because you look at all of that is to look a certain way. So some, so some of these things are, they're just really important part of our lives. Like they are. So wanting to look better, that's fine. That's not shallow. That is normal. And some people say better is just, I guess it's maybe that. And I know a lot of people in my life who have had Botox or fillers or stuff down to their face and they look fucking awesome. They really do. And they feel better and they're more confident for it. But I guess it's the dangers and the money beside of it as well that it's a bit scary. And like you said, I'm with you, mate, on the trend thing and not, I don't want anyone to feel pressured to do that to themselves if they don't really want to. And you said something actually recently and you were like at some point of time you thought about it. Yeah, like even I felt the pressure. I'm going to be really honest now and sit here and say, I am still feeling the pressure when my hairdresser told me that they were going to be offering tweakments, I popped up on my Instagram because I follow the hairdressers. And I had a look at the list and was thinking, do I need any of that? I scrolled down it. And then I was looking at the prices and I was like, bloody hell. And then I was like, no, but that's what I mean is that it's because it's becoming so normal that I almost feel like I should because everyone else is and I feel pretty content with myself. Again, and I understand my privilege and that also fat don't crack. So I don't really have that many wrinkles. Not my experience. I'm human. But I have started to get wrinkles around my eyes and here and I don't know if this sounds weird or vain, but I really like them. Oh, good. And I see them when I see them in pictures or videos back and I'm like, oh, and I, I'm not just saying now. That's good. That makes me so happy. I like them. So I don't, yeah, the only thing that I, oh, that's again, it's like a hypocrite. I feel like I've got jowls on my face. I was really bad. Yeah. So I wouldn't mind having that tweak. But then I think can I be bothered? And the answer honestly is, is no, I think for right now, that might change. This is the thing. We're all allowed to change and our minds on things. And I might be coming to him five years with a whole face full of lips like Carly Jenner and I asked like him and I'll say like, whoops, I was wrong. We are, yeah, we're all entitled to our opinion. This is just mine. And you can change it. I don't know why I'm so anti-it because it's fake when I've got fake hair, fake eyebrows, whatever. I don't know. It's, it's hard. It's, it's difficult. It is, you could say it's the next level up. But if you're getting it done safely, you know, a lot of people see Botox as like preventative skincare, which on the face of it, it can be. I'm not saying, I'm not trying to promote that to you all. I'm saying like, it can be because if you started using it in your early 30s, you are preventing some elements of aging because your face is not moving in those ways, right? And that's it. Whereas the limit is it, you know, there is obviously a fucking difference between, you know, hair dye and getting a Brazilian butt lift. Yeah. But it's all for the same goal, isn't it? To want to look better and nicer and all that kind of feel better and nicer. When you say to me that you want filler and like Botox and stuff because you don't like your ring, cause like it genuinely makes me really sad. And because I look at you and I think you're so beautiful and like we always send a podcast like the way you look is nice. And it kind of, it doesn't make me cross, but it like, who does a little bit? It doesn't make me cross with you. It just makes me like sad and cross because I'm like, you don't need it. And it makes me sad that you feel like you do. And if you did do it, I wouldn't be mad at you. I just feel like sad that you feel like you have to. It's just down to personal preference and it's, do I feel like I need it? Yes, a little bit. I think my face is fine and I don't really necessarily want to change it, but I do want it. But again, it's that, oh, I didn't think you need to do it. Do you know how often I heard that again after going back to me having an invisible line and getting my teeth straight in? How often I heard, oh, I didn't know you need, like, yeah, I didn't think you even need to get them done. I never even noticed them on you. But, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, nothing to do with what anyone else has pinion of you. And if anyone's had treatments to their face, I'm sure they've had. And I think I've even said it to people like, I didn't even need to get it done. It don't matter about what I think about. Like, it doesn't matter. It's a damn thing. I think I've probably mentioned this before. If not again, maybe we could talk about it more another time, but aging is just a really difficult subject. I have an issue with it. I'm going gray because I can't dye my hair and I've had to be okay with that. I don't necessarily have to be okay with my face aging quicker than I think I want it to. I know I'm hosting this podcast guys. I understand the hypocrisy of me saying this and I get it. And like you, there's some parts of my face that I think is really sweet now with, you know, with the lines and actually the gray hairs are actually things quite sweet. I'm not yet okay with my face drooping. And that's my personal preference. And that's that's me. And I don't notice it on anybody else. I've never noticed it on you or anything like that. And I might want to change that for me because may like, there's so there's so much noise around women hating themselves. Every single bit of life just feels like it wants women to hate themselves. And I've come to terms with the fact that I'm very likely to be bigger in a bigger body forever and be fat forever, cool beings. I've sort of come to terms with that. This is kind of what I was going to mention it to you. And it's the fact that as and when I've saved up for it and I will be saving up for it, I'm not putting that on a credit card. I've got the option then to go and have filler and and maybe look not younger, but just like get rid of some lines and stuff. I have that option. And it's like if we turn that into what we talk about on this podcast and about being slimmer, if there was that easier option, this has been fucking with my brain in the last week, but I tell you that leading up to this, like we're called in this, like, would we take that option? Is it because there's a relatively easy option of me walking into a clinic with a registered person and paying my money and getting it done, I can get the lines taken off my forehead. But there isn't this version here to make me slimmer. But arguably, like there is because we've got the influx now, the inject the other side of the injectables, which is were gov is epic, which is a weight loss injection. But just like Botox, just like filler, it's a temporary fix because they've only been licensed for use after two years. And all of the studies that have been done show that the majority of people, I think it's in the 90, you know, fifth percentile put on regain the weight and some people put on even more. So it's yeah, it's a quick fix. It's a tough one, but I don't have any judgment for people to do it. I don't. I think that if you want to do it because, you know, I don't know for a knee operation or because you want to have a baby or because whatever reason it's fine, but all I'm saying is like just be aware of it. It's a temporary fix. It's really hard. And I appreciate both in this conversation, both Laura and I have been hypocrites. But I think that is the complexity of this issue and also of self confidence. It's not an A to B. But I know it's like it's not and it's okay. The fact that I've come to terms with the fact that I will probably be fat forever. But I'm not yet to terms with the fact that I'm going to age, which is normal. And that's fine. I'm 35. Like that's fine. And it's okay that you don't love, you know, the trend of cosmetic surgery and treatments and stuff, but that you actually like changing some things about yourself to look or feel a certain way. I think I think that's fine. I don't want any, I don't want us to believe this recording and then people to listen to it and feel guilty or feel bad that we've said that. - No. - Because, no, no. Like I said, individual choice, absolutely you do you. It's just more of an honest societal level. I don't think that I worry. That's all it is, that's all it is. And I think we should definitely do another episode on the weight loss injections and stuff because there's a lot of chatter around those as well. It's just about honest societal level. And I think, yeah, that's what I, that's all I worry about really. - I agree. I do agree with you in that it just feels so different to 10 years ago. The increase in treatments and inquiries being made and surgeries happening. It is hugely, it's not like by like 10% guys. Like I said, 70% increase after colleague of Jenna got a lip done in inquiries into lip filler. It's huge. And maybe in 10 years time, it will be just as normal as getting braces or getting hair done. Who knows? And like I said, I may well, like if you think fuck it. And like I said, I'll have a face full of filler before you know it. And I'll happily eat my words on that if that is the case. I just think like you said, you hit the nail on the head. Look at the why. If you want to do it for yourself, fine. To do it, and if you're going to forward it and you do it in a safe way with someone who is registered, then like fine, just look at the why. That's all you do you. And please don't hate me because now I'm probably going to not sleep tonight thinking that I've said something wrong, but I'm allowed an opinion and don't come for me please. Mate, you've been fine and this was a difficult one because it was tricky. People have a lot of feelings about it and the people who go on to these celebrities pages and say you've gone too far did it, they're really vocal. And a lot of people really don't like it. But I think where we've tried to get to today is just talking about it in general. We're not trying to solve the world. We hope that we've kind of got most of everybody's opinions. But the point of this is to say, "Body autonomy, everything will do it." Your body, your choice, you do you is what we've got to. - Yeah, and our opinions are just that. They're just opinions. - Yeah. - Great. Okay, let's wrap up this one then. So yeah, in an nutshell, please don't cancel me. Thank you so much for listening. We're actually going to be answering some listener questions about this everyone else's subscribe episode now. And I'm also going to be sharing some answers to a poll I did on my Instagram to see what the general consensus was around cosmetic surgery and tweakements. So if you want to listen to that, head to the episode description where you can subscribe for just one pound a week. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. I've really enjoyed it. It is a difficult subject, but I think we did well, Laura. And no one's going to cancel you, you're fabulous. - I so. - And if you want more of us, you can give us a follow over on Instagram at Go Love YourselfPod or get in touch on email, go love @kraudmickwork.co.duk, and we have a fabulous community group over on Facebook. Just search Go Love Yourself Community. Or you can listen to Go Love Yourself and free on Amazon Music. Thank you so much for listening, and we'll see you next week. Bye. (upbeat music) - Crowd network, a place where you belong.