Let Me Cook For Your Girl w/ Bhen - Episode 280

Welcome back, frickin' frack. Welcome to the jungle. ABC Wednesdays. Abbott is back. It's gonna be the best year yet. Thank you, now we can finally turn this up. And everyone's going wild. Y'all think you run this school, but you don't. It's going great. Abbott Elementary. Anything can happen in the jungle, right guys? All new Wednesdays on ABC and stream next day on Hulu. Does checking your bank statements feel like digging through a dusty attic full of forgotten subscriptions and old free trials? Experian can help take the pain out of canceling by handling it for you. Think of it as Operation Get Your Sanity Back. Over 200 subscriptions are cancelable. So get started in the Experian app and see how much you could save. Results will vary. Not all subscriptions eligible. Savings not guaranteed. Paid membership with connected payment account required. See Experian.com for details. Experian. Back. Oh my God. Yeah, he's back. Y'all see he's back. Before we introduce you though. Start Thanos. Start Thanos is crazy. They say you was collecting them all. They're helping them with shit really help because that's my new question. I stole that from you. That's my new question that I asked us because, you know, a lot of them. Is the mic on? Let me see your mic. Yeah. Oh, you got it off my phone. A lot of them, a lot of them be like, yeah, I do this for my girl. I do this, do this. I got a lot of stud friends too. And I'm like, okay, if it's three equally heavy things and me and Mike need help, like arriving to a show and we got three bags as equal. If you come to a show, will you help us move? They'd be like, hell no. The bag too heavy. I'm like, you're not a real stud. You're not a real stud and you're not locked in. Shout out to the OG studs. I love the studs back in the day, like Queen Latifah. Them was real studs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Them was real. They were like two way players. She versatile. Yes, bro. She versatile. Cause I had a crush on her and then I was like, I hang with her. I'll play the game with her. Shout out to OG Queen. She started this shit. Oh, but I was going to say, um, you know, I'm a big Brian fan and I never thought like, I thought like, I always thought like my fandom could stop at a point, but I never thought it could go down. And it's like people, yeah, it's because of the other fans. I can't even appreciate my guy. Like I want to, it's a fucking Twitter account that show every time he fly in and leave the helicopter. I'm like, y'all niggas, man. I can't even say like, Oh, I fuck with Brian. Cause they can be like, Oh, they're going to put me in a group with them. Niggas. Nah, they ain't going to do that, bro. I just feel like you got to realize when they come to Brian, he's the biggest to ever do it. He's the biggest entertainer in this modern day. No, for real. Like he ain't bigger than Michael Jackson. I don't think nobody bigger than Michael Jackson. Yeah. But I'm just talking about. Like in our time, modern day, LeBron is like the biggest. I don't give a fuck. You can't put an actor. Me and Jeff go back and forth about, he said The Rock is more famous. Hell no. Than LeBron? I don't know. It might be. He got Moana. That's tough. The Rock, I ain't going to lie. The Rock, if anybody, it'd be The Rock. So I'll give him no grace when he say that, but you got to reach that far. The Rock could go like in a small spot in Indonesia and they still know, Oh, that's The Rock. You know what I mean? Yeah. To me. 50 Cent is up there too. Hell no. Hell no. No, he not, he not even the most famous rapper. No, I'm saying in terms of like, like 50 Cent, Snoop Dogg. Like if you go. Snoop. Yeah. Now you talking about Snoop, that's different. That's a good pool. That's a good pool. I feel like 50 is of course. Yeah. One of the biggest, but LeBron is just like, I feel like sports are bigger than music. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Basketball is bigger than rap. It's worldwide. You don't need to, you don't need to speak to understand it. Yeah. Actually, I'm going to have to side with Jeff. Yeah. I just realized something. Jordan, LeBron, none of them got anybody cosplaying them as a living. Yeah. I, one time I see. People do do Jordan for Halloween though. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah. I see a nigga walk up. There was a nigga dressed as Michael Jackson, right? He was cosplaying as Michael Jackson and he went to watch another Michael Jackson perform and was like giving that nigga the head now like, good job. I see that when I go, if I go to the Michael Jackson experience in Vegas. I've seen that before. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I guess LeBron really can't be duplicated like that. Nah, it's hard. It's hard. You got to be really creative. You got to be too creative. 6'8 and dick riding. It's like, that's a lethal ass. What the fuck? Nigga, you can hoop, bro. Yeah, you got to do that shit. Jeff got people dressing up as him now. Yeah. Yeah. Them near the cities that we go in, like randomly, we went to, um. What's that shit with Michael Rubin? Philly? The white party? Nah, I don't know. Fanatics, fanatics fest. Fanatics fest. Oh, you ain't go to a white party yet? Nah. It's coming, bro. You go ahead. Your ass is crazy. You threw my whole train of thought out. That nigga had to deny it. Nah, we was at fanatics fest and somebody pulled up on us at the Liz little activation and he had like the no draws thing on. Like, that shit's crazy. I ain't should have banned your ass. Like, that's crazy. Somebody just randomly said that when me and Malcolm was on, um, like doing the Twitch shit one day, bro, and that shit just spiraled, bro. That shit's on 2K. I seen it. I seen that on 2K. Yeah, bro. That shit is crazy. It's one of those things where you, you can be mad at it, but also appreciate the fandom of it as well because you got to be tapped in. It took bro a few months to understand that, but I'm like, bro, it's just the life we live because they are like, what I think, what I can't say about basketball players, like them niggas. Kind of, they don't be disconnected from the real world, but damn near, like when it comes to like trolls and shit, niggas don't, athletes do not understand trolls at all. It's like, I'm like, bro, they kind of showing love. Yeah. In a very odd way, but yeah, but it's love. Yeah. I think with us, like sometimes like, uh, I realized like somebody talking shit in my DMS and I get mad and I started cussing them out and I'd be like, oh shit. Like my podcast is a very niche podcast. So you actually had to. To watch my shit, to talk about something that I said. So I just like, then I appreciate it. Usually when I get that shit, bro, it'd be like, I cussing the motherfucker back out because I'm the one. A lot of times motherfuckers do, they can't stand me for real, but most of the time it's a motherfucker saying, bro, I'll fuck with the pod. Thank you for responding. Every time after, bro. Hey man, thanks for talking about my dead grandma. I'll fuck with you back. Yeah, for sure. That's not what we're doing. Hello. Hey, the radio is for people who are driving. I'll drive. Oh yeah. Welcome to crash dummies episode two 80. We got a B hen here again. Um, my guys, man, we're out of these boys right here, man. Appreciate you, bro. All right, man. But I didn't even know. I knew. It's going to have like a lot of people fuck with the episode, but not that many people. And it was going crazy. And you, I feel like you're the, our most watched episode. Yeah. No shit. I think it's you then. T-Pain. Yeah. You ranked above T-Pain. And T-Pain, my God. We had a good ass time on the show, but damn, for me to be your most watched one, that's kind of crazy. And you didn't even get the. You didn't even get the good listener callers. Like them ones are like the ones you're going to get today. We don't know yet though. Huh? Don't, don't jinx it. No, but just off some of the shit they're going to say, he going to cook off rip. I know he going to cook. Oh man, this is, damn, that made, that made a nigga smile for real, bro. Yeah, for real. Cause y'all been on a crazy run, bro. Like this tour shit. Like I ain't even been on a 30 city tour. Like how that been? Man, y'all don't want to do it. Don't do it. What's been the most, you got to give them some game though for the podcast. What's the most like hard thing about it though? I think it's time management is the hardest thing. Like you can't go out every night. Sleep is important. Um, and then my, my thing, I like a routine. I like to get up, work out, box. So it's like. Yeah, we heard about your routine. Yeah. Bro. Fuck all the inspirational shit. I got to clear some shit up. Cause obviously the episode went so viral and you're a lot more known than I am. So a lot of people don't know me. So when those personal stories, where it's like, Mike was cooking. Mike's lived with me for two weeks and he was cooking for my girl. Yeah. That's crazy. That should never happen. Yes, it did. That shit never happened. You know about the change in there. Then I let you cook for the pot. Nigga making noise and shit. Nigga made my girl, my ex girl. She, he made her pancake. No, I didn't bro. That's from scratch. Wow. No. And then he used to be blueberries and shit. He had, he had had a, uh, a nice sound clip from that cause he said, oh, Mike, weird. And then. And then I saw 80 to a hundred comments in the comments, Mike, weird, Mike, weird, weird. That's, that's tell me about, tell me more about that because like you're, you're in a position where every single line, because I know sometimes you'd be dead ass serious and you don't know if Mook, Jeff, Mike, you don't know if, how they going to take it, when they going to laugh. Sometimes you'll be making a joke. Like you set up like a Stevie Wonder joke was funny as hell. Like you knew they was going to laugh at that, but sometimes you'd be dead ass serious and then they'd die laugh. and then you know like, oh shit, That's the clip That's gonna be quoted And then niggas gonna keep saying that quote So how do that feel? But see the problem with me is Like I embrace everything that comes with this shit But a lot of times They'll talk before I even get here Or even know some shit Because they wanna see my real reaction to some shit Bro when I say I am like I'm connected with the world I'm like music I'm hip I'm cool with all the kids All that type shit But I don't watch TV Or none of that shit at all So a lot of shit Or the news So when some shit happened Nigga like we just talked about Al Sharpton I thought Al Sharpton was legit As old as motherfucking All of them Martin Luther King Jesse So he not clipped? No he's 72 It's crazy bro Jesse Jackson's 85 bro Oh damn That was his OG See what I'm saying? Like y'all niggas went to school and all that shit You know what I'm saying? So shit like that It just be happening bro Like and a lot of times I be having to pull back on my taste Cause I'm like I know I don't give a fuck about what I say But I'm like I gotta look out for my guys We playing with some Big sponsors and shit now And I don't wanna rub nobody the wrong way No you've been doing I feel like It's you and Drewski Y'all the only niggas that get away with it I'd like I feel like I feel like I'm dark humor-ish But if I try to step into y'all realm Even my audience be like What the fuck nigga? Like what's wrong with you? No nigga You're real dark No yeah you get that Who? Oh god Dark ain't freaky Yeah yeah You are You are Cliff Dax This nigga weird as a bitch You are way more dark than me Hell no It's not even fucking close No no no no It's not close I would say you're more dark Yes bro I just I say shit like That comes to my head right away Like and I'm saying you Not saying you fish for it But I'm like You get deep into the darkness I'm very surface Level with my shit Like I don't think a lot of your humor Sometimes comes when Like you said When you're kind of oblivious to What's actually going on And a lot of shit I be speaking about like In my family For the most part I exploit my family on this Like to the third degree But you Oh Like my When somebody die I'm gonna be like damn I'm gonna probably say something About them While they were living Yeah You gonna make a joke Just to make it simple for everybody You gonna make a joke About how they died Why they died Yeah Mike Mike said he would never Mike said he would never Mike said he would never Go out like that But he Look how he went out Look how he went out Nigga went out bungee jumping He was like stupid ass Anyways Go find me in the bio Check it out You know what I'm saying You're like Why that bitch ass nigga Didn't have life insurance Poor ass nigga Left me with men Now I'm supposed to be up No that's crazy No but The reason I said Because For you to even implement that In a sports realm Is crazy I don't think I think people take for granted What you do They think that's just Obviously it is your personality But I think People don't realize Like how you implement in that Because that's what I would struggle with That's why I would never go into sports talk Because I was like How would I function I just It's I didn't realize that Not even me Just our show as a whole It's like rare Into the sports world Because we do genuinely talk about sports But I be thinking like Damn Everybody joke about shit So we could be at a bar Watching a game But there's shit going on in the bar That we gonna laugh about We gonna talk And that's how we just look at this shit So when Now that we on TV Doing shit like I don't I don't know It's just second nature to me bro No that's Y'all Man Because I don't even think now And like the The guys be pointing shit out I promise to God Nobody was cracking jokes On these sports shows Didn't matter until we started Yeah And I don't be Trying to say We the first Or all that shit But I just see how the internet And shit just changing You know what I'm saying So It kind of Feel good To see everybody embracing that A lot of people Trying to show More of their personalities Besides just reading the tickers At the bottom now I love that Like I said I don't want to act like We started or whatever But I'm just saying like It's good to see Like I love Some of my favorite athletes So to see another side of them Cracking jokes and shit I'm like damn That's really unking them I can kick it with them Y'all also the first like Non-NBA Hood niggas To talk about sports On a big platform And like And like Props to Like Jeff For not like You know like He'll have like a couple takes Because he was there So obviously he got like A little deeper opinion I feel like When you get some of these NBA players on there They so passionate It's like Relax my nigga He's like We already played the game It's okay to But he And I always tell him to Give the real shit Because We are still Me DJ Are still students Of you and Moop And what y'all did bro You know what I'm saying Y'all niggas are a damn They're like Inside of me Becoming like superheroes So y'all niggas made it To the highest level So we always Love the game I just don't like When athletes say Ah y'all niggas never played So y'all opinion don't matter And I always tell them Even my friends That played in the league And even NFL Shut the fuck up You never rapped And we argued about Jay-Z Yeah Shut the fuck up You niggas never rapped A day And if you did That shit was trash So I always That's my only beef With like athletes And this shit That's why I love Bro so much Because it's easy For us to do this Because he comes down To earth And able to have A conversation He gonna get heated Me and him That argued on this Motherfucker It come out of him They pulled that card And you didn't play I was It comes out But for the most part 95% of the time Niggas is realistic So yeah I feel like I feel like that's sometimes I feel like that's sometimes The best opinion though Yeah Yeah it's like People that didn't play Also see a game From a more basic Perspective And sometimes That's the best thing To look at it as Nah that is true Alright I got Hold on man Before we go Y'all gotta give me A little experience About this tour Oh yeah Oh shit Yeah because you're Talking about this shit Nah I think you had To clear the air About you Cooking for my exes And shit I wasn't cooking Yes you were I never cooked In your house Mike let me cook For your bitch Nah nah I was like hey Y'all clipped that Never cooked The part that The worst I did That's what I get For spending Spending time at your I was at this nigga's House for like five days Mike let me cook For your bitch It's definitely Going on the shirt Let me cook For your bitch Yeah man Y'all sell them man Y'all sell that shit Nah that's too crazy Oh yeah tour Yeah man Like Mike said Trying to keep a routine The thing about me I'm a night owl Like I like to stay out I get FOMO Yeah So like I have a hard time Picking between the cities But now The you know The more cities I go to Like the lit cities I'm able to say It don't matter How lit you is You can't get that lit So now I'm able to rest On the road Like at some point I was going out In St. Louis and Baltimore Like let's get it Like I'm in the trenches At the clubs Like I'm trying to See some shit But now I done been You know we didn't Went on tour In New York again For like the third time And then LA And then we just did Houston I'm straight Next time we go to Like a city I'm in a bed Okay Straight out He said that now He's not gonna be He goes to He goes to Party But y'all Well I don't know Y'all schedule But to me I would assume That you got all day To rest Before y'all do Y'all shit right Yeah I think One thing sometimes people Our show is like Our setup is a lot Yeah Like setting this up And then making sure The callers are working So it's just like A lot of like And every show is different Yeah Like there's some people Went to two shows And like damn it's complete Cause we never know What we're really gonna It's improv It's really A lot of improv They writing it So we give people Cards before the show And they write They dilemma Or they hot take And then we Collect them all We read that Throughout the show And then we talk to The crowd Throughout the show Cause some people Are able to fess up Like yeah that was my card And then it's Listening callers Which is live So everything And then we do Karaoke Which is live So everything Improv And it's just like That's fine We don't know What's gonna happen And I think the first night Cause we usually get there The day before The first night's always easier We can do whatever we want Cause we have all that That whole morning It's really the As we do the Back to back shows Sometimes we did like Three back to back And it was like We were dead tired What was that? What city was that? New York, Boston, D.C. Yeah D.C. D.C. We didn't even go Party in D.C. We went straight to bed Damn Yeah What's a sleeper city That surprised y'all today That you clowned at night But y'all enjoyed the show I didn't mind Boston No Boston Boston got some Yeah Boston got some Like some black spots Yeah You know what I mean? They do I love Boston No Boston Boston nice And like Sometimes like Being in different cities Where they not afraid To come up to you And be like Yo what bar Are you going to We all showing up to it So like you get to talk With a couple people That was at the show And shit like that Okay That's fire man How many tours did y'all What cities y'all do? We just did one We go a lot of places Yeah But so far it's like a tour We just did one big one Okay We only did like four cities Cause you guys did something In New York before But we traveled so much Yeah we did For our city tour City boys tour It was Houston Atlanta New York It was somewhere else I can't remember Okay We did shit with Hennessy Okay We doing something with The HBCU Howard We're doing Just a bunch of shit bro So our shit is just spread it out We working on our Main tour But it's It's so much To go into that shit bro Y'all shit gonna be rocking bro What up y'all This next sponsor Really turns the tables On data brokers By using burner accounts Our sponsor Cloak Dared us to see How exposed our information Really is So let's do this You guys saw this Last week again Or the week before this and here it is again. Okay. personal information was exposed. 35 compromised records found. Damn. Oh, they got all this information on me. It says threat level high. 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Until he addressed that shit, like if I see him, all I do is say if I see him again, it's up. That's it. I fuck with his brother, though. No, his brother. No, his brother liked that. Yeah, I fuck with his brother. Here's the clip. What does that mean? Um, hey, man, I'm black. What does that mean? When you're black, white people believe every accusation is a conviction. I grew up 619 Decatur Street, Howard and Saratoga. If you go on your phone and punch up Roger Logan, exonerated, a guy named Roger Logan, who I grew up with, who was very, uh, he was one of my best friends. Brothers went to jail for 19 years for a murder he didn't commit. And here's the weird thing. His brother used to plead with me to pay for a lawyer for Roger. And I never did it. I always had like a no lawyer thing because lawyers like an open end thing. Like I'll pay your mortgage. I'll put whatever. There's a bunch of shit. I paid the not paying for the lawyer thing. OK, so what was it? His brother was pleading with Chris Rock to help him pay for a lawyer that his brother that was convicted and spent 19 years in jail for some prison. That's something that I'm nothing. That ain't like my. Little brother to like on some if me, like, say, if me, you were best friend and that's your little brother, if we don't really rock like that. Yeah, I'm a focus because you my brother. But if we not like that with our own personal, I'm nothing. I feel it. Yeah, I get what you're saying. So you're saying like no matter relationship with that other person, I can't jump over you and help your person. Oh, yeah. Your family should put a go for me. Yeah, I got to see. I got to see the case. But that's. Does that mean what did this nigga do? Yeah, I got to look at what's the history and the history. But I just I guess the part with him is that he actually said that out loud. So it kind of makes him seem a little some way. It's on brand. Yeah. Yeah. If I go like, oh, we ain't surprised. It ain't. I just feel like some of those stars are they so disconnected from the Internet. They have to be. I told you. Chris Rock. Chris Rock probably ain't fucking open Twitter in 10 years. I know he ain't open in the last two years. So it's like he don't know what's going on. He don't know. Like, that's not a thing that's like deemed as cool, even though he he in the right low key saying that. Yeah. But he don't have to do nothing. No, it don't make me not a real nigga because I didn't do. Right. I don't put no slate. Yeah. It depends what the information was like, what the crime was. But I feel like a lawyer, though, isn't a lawyer just to like to kind of see if you got a case or not. No. A lawyer is way different than that. Yeah. And please don't listen to this. I think please, that is the most important piece. No, it is important. But that's why he asked Chris Rock. Don't listen to him. His whole ass is going to jail. I got it. I got good news. For 38 years. Fuck 19. I was saying, like, it kind of depends on the crime, I guess, because he might not want to seem like he's cosigning whatever was done. Yeah. But I'm saying if he got like if they said, OK, this nigga didn't do it after 19 years, like that. That means, I don't know. His family wasn't working hard enough. Oh, so do end up getting exonerated. Yes. Oh, so that's. Oh, fuck. So, yeah. So he that's why I say he was supposed to look at the case because it's like one of those things like, yeah, yeah. Is somebody wrongfully being accused? Yeah. Even if that's a stranger and somebody stepped to you, I feel like now is somebody. That's your brother's guy. Oh, he's supposed to look into that case. At least and get him some help. Yeah. Or point him in the right direction. Yeah. I will get him some help. Yeah. Yeah. You're trying to say me front this bill. Yeah, I get this bitch for 19 years. Yeah. I had enough money in 10 years to get this thing out. Yeah, I get that. That's like that's like me looking for like that's like me looking for a lawyer. Let's say I did something here and I'm looking for a lawyer. I'm not asking you to pay for it. Oh, but this is your city. You might. You might. You might can point me in the right direction. Be like, oh, yeah. Be hands on me. Well, it depends on what y'all ask. Y'all have to make sure y'all get the right lawyer. Pat, too dark. I don't know what that. I don't know no dark lawyers. No, man. Shout out to Paz, though. Paz might start this year. I might have to eat my words, bro. Why, though? I like Yaxo better. I like Yaxo. Yaxo. Yaxo. I don't know if Jimmy coming back. It's just like I don't know what role he would come back in. If Jimmy wants to continue getting paid in the NBA, he has to come back. I'm just saying, like, is it a six man role? No. He's a starter. You think he's a starter still? On the fucking Warriors, bro? They're awful. That's what I'm saying. What's the SIG unit looking like? Well, if Paz started, respect. I love Paz's game. But if Yaxo come off the bench, shit, I don't even know who else they got over there for real. They struggling with their first five. Not eight. Once I see Al Horford in that lineup, I'm like, yeah. I did see him in a practice clip. I was like, I didn't even know he was still in the league. Nah, that's it. He on year 20. Go. Yeah, 20. God, fuck. I got a question for y'all. If y'all partners could watch a highlight reel of your thoughts for one day, do you think you'd be in trouble? Nah. My girl know I'm out of pocket. You talking about for a full 24 hours? Yeah, yeah. Just your thoughts for two. This nigga's so fab, bro. I'm not fab. You didn't even prep me for this question or nothing. I didn't. That's the point. That's crazy. Now I'm on camera looking like I'm scared. That's the question, man. That's the question. That's the question. I'm married. I got a whole lot of shit going on, nigga. You too good. I just don't know if she'll be able to handle that amount of ass. Wait, are you in a relationship right now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, congrats, bro. Yeah, yeah. Same one I brought to last one. Oh, okay. Cool, cool, cool. Yeah, she was cool as hell. Okay, okay. Cool. Yeah, yeah. He said same one. I'm getting to check on my boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know that. Some niggas be switching gears. You still dating such and such? Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Nah, nah, nah, nah. I ain't being funny. Yeah, yeah. She was here the last time. Yeah, yeah. That's what. I ain't gonna lie. He about to get mad as fuck. What? He about to yell at me and say no, no, no, no. He about to say some shit that's not true again. Go ahead. I had to teach this nigga. No, you didn't, bro. Look, he wouldn't even let me. He wouldn't even say that. You had to teach a real nigga etiquette? This nigga's a liar, bro. I can't even talk. He won't let me talk. This nigga's such a liar, bro. Let me finish. Let me. Can I finish? Go ahead, bro. I had to teach this nigga about stuff that if I. don't say it it hasn't happened oh yeah come on he's i don't even used to be like that in college just be real did you see how these niggas are talking i was the person that i didn't talk i didn't talk i was quiet quiet kid yeah never talked so i didn't think it'd be coming up with stories in his own head he's schizophrenic without snitching on my boy without snitching on my boy too much what made you say there's only this is it i have to no no i'll tell you there's only one time it was a joke that's what they do this was a joke always one time so his ex from college right and then yes from college i'm trying to think how i work i want to wear this this is the bitch you cooked for oh yes no no no it's not this is a free one that's another one exactly oh why are you on the road i think it's you no go ahead bro he was with uh another person and i basically said as a joke because he was making this joke as well and i was like oh i miss blank and blank let's call her uh khadijah i was like damn i miss khadijah when his his new girl was there i was telling you i was like i was joking around i said damn i miss khadijah but that that's already a joke he was making though with her no so i just doubled down on the joke i never made that joke with her but that was freshman year of college though when you when he does it it's different thank you she thought it was funny friends yeah in front of you no when you get behind closed doors women women feel like friends is gonna tell the truth i feel it you know that's true mike might be i mean bro pat might be joking you know i'm saying to to troll him yeah yeah but when nigga when you say it she's thinking i'm gonna tell the truth i'm gonna tell the truth i'm gonna tell the truth i'm telling you bro y'all been talking about her just thinking no that's true in there so you said it trying to say it was because he said it it don't shoot the same but i still mistake by me right yeah but that was but that was freshman year he uses that one thing to multiply things into like my adulthood okay and that's not fair no because we've grown yeah but pat you know what pat was still do to this day he was still crack jokes like he would become a comedian like he's funny yeah but he gets like 10 times funnier when you're around your girl or wherever so it's reversed it's very reversed you start clowning you don't be one-sided no no no it's never in no like clowning like trying to demean it might like poke a little bit fun but i'm trying to make sure because we got so much shit that we know i don't want us to accidentally talk about some shit so i create a whole nother space for us and start joking around that space it's more for protection because this nigga i didn't call him i'm talking about man you seen that one girl last night man this was all out he like yeah man um headed to church i'm like i don't give a fuck nigga we nigga the bottles last night bro uh what time we shooting the pie i'm like what real he talked he started talking to his girl in the background like hey babe you can't put him on speakerphone no no you can't but we're at the age now we're both i'm married he's in the relationship yeah we good now yeah but before i would just say who i'm with right away he'd be like what up i'm like i'm just chilling with such and such yeah so he already knows off the off the rip like shut the fuck up yeah he got more relaxed first than me though because he got into his relationship and started relaxing like how long you been tied down uh i've been married for like two years now okay cool cool cool so pat's still he's still playing too yeah yeah yeah i'll be out there i was out ain't nothing wrong with that i did mine's in reverse though i was married first and then i gave her a ring how long you been married what about it four years four years okay oh she she she real she be letting you get off yeah i'm listen bro and i tell everybody this like i got a i got a solid core for sure but bro can't nobody tell me what to say i ain't near my mama she raised me well but she always told me speak my mind as long as i'm not putting nobody in harm's way or nothing ain't nobody i'm gonna fuck my girl anybody can't nobody tell me what to say bro i'm gonna say how i feel whatever come with it i'm ready for it but that's not gonna stop me from saying what i want to say okay perfect it leads into this question because you said if you're not blood related yes then it's up for grabs yes bro if you i've i've made it so plain that if you're damn near redacted if you don't understand this me my father go to a bar just saying it'd be sometimes they have 30 and up r&b night and the motherfucker is with things and he's like i'm ready for it i'm ready for it i'm your daughter my dad is with me which one you want my nigga we good i'm cool bro i don't have no nigga we in here what you trying to do then whatever they choose whatever my parents my dad and her mom choose to do that's on them if y'all have a kid y'all fucked up the family i didn't do that but you said but you never had a step-sibling before no bro i'm always i don't know and that is crazy because i'm a step pops you know what i mean and i love my little nigga but i've never my mom couldn't have no other nigga like that just because i was raised it was like shit all we knew was my daddy i didn't i would have never disrespected no other man but my dad is my dad yeah so i would have been one of them yeah my shit fizzled out i was like one of them niggas like when a dude came over my mom house i'm like yeah yeah what up what up you know trying huh no no no no these like dudes she dating oh yeah yeah i'm like yeah what up you know showing nigga my trophies and shit but like by the third nigga i'm like nigga fuck that's three niggas in three years though she was a little rocky for mom bro you gotta pick the right one what was that milwaukee no it wasn't charlotte that was in charlotte yeah bro you can't you can't be like that the only reason why your mom would have been out of pocket if she would have been like this is that yeah that's that'd be my thing because i feel like if your mom is dating yeah now i feel like women should have some respect for the dad of the kid or whatever to not introduce your new booty to your kid right away yeah but i feel like if they vibing after a while you know the nigga come over you right there like oh this curtis what's the time frame though whenever she raised it i feel like she locked in with you okay i don't put no really time limit on that i just don't think if i meet your mom on the internet not saying yo mom i'm just saying and we kick it and then the next day i pull up and here's junior yeah yeah i don't want to meet junior i would meet as a man i'd be like i can't meet your kids because you not meet my babies yeah that that's what was hard for me like i always like when i was dating it was hard for me because they had a kid not because i was afraid to be a stepdad is because like if i see anything wrong with that kid's routine that shit turned me all the way off like i'm on the phone with you at midnight and this little nigga up like what the fuck he's going up like why is he talking to me he's talking about some high like a lot of a lot of single moms don't have bedtimes for their kids especially in our age group that's so true because i've had many a facetime nights where junior was up yeah okay and i'd rather i think it's cool like if you come into kids life if you're dealing with a woman get them young bro yeah because i just always think about me if i would have came in my stepson's life at 13 14 instead of three four i don't know if the relationship would be the same yeah you know what i'm saying because at 13 14 nigga i'm i'm about to start high school i'm on my way out of here yeah i'm gonna fuck with you bro but that relationship it might not hit it might be dead a big risk even being in a stepdad position like i'm too much of a i know too much like i feel like i can go down to the next generation and still know they lingo and how they disrespect so like i feel like i would get disrespected easier where like the woman who i'm dating might not catch disrespect i'm like no the nigga just called me something and i looked it up on the internet i'm not fucking with it i'm about to go check this little nigga and i'm all for meeting your dad i'm with all the dumb shit yeah i want to do everything yeah let's max this shit out because i feel like a lot of women be missing that yeah like the little nigga could have his dad in his life but kids are so smart bro when they around their mom they know they can get away with bloody murder yeah he was a new nigga coming into his territory you can't be mad at him yeah you know i mean you got to build a relationship even if you bad after gay bro you just got to figure it out like you know i'm saying you're coming into his space yeah you can't double discipline in there especially if you're going out like especially if you you find out who his dad is like if his dad a real like yeller discipline you can't double up on it yeah yeah yeah and see because that's i'm that dad sit your ugly ass down i'm that no for real you got two weeks oh two weeks shit where my phone at you got watch niggas a nigga micah help you look for your phone you know what was that tweet is that if you uh if you help me if we're both looking for your phone i'm gonna look for your phone my phone and you look behind the picture frame i know you got my shit Nigga got a ladder Check this What the fuck Nigga opened the fridge He's like You're looking for your car keys He got my shit Okay Tweet of the weeks Tweet of the weeks I think that's an old tweet I just put it up Somebody said On me I gave a bitch some wack dick First go around once And she tweeted After she left I think this nigga Just gave me some pussy Oh my god That is insane Nah I think a tweet after anything Even if it wasn't good or bad That's how Twitter used to be People used to put Their whole lives on that Yeah I mean I felt That would make me feel a little weird Even if it was a good thing It made you feel weird? I don't know I just feel like If you're putting out The good performance And then I don't perform like that That's so conservative I ain't gonna lie This This is my boy He gonna get so mad I tell this story Oh my god He gonna be so fucking mad You should've just texted me that I think I don't like I don't like putting my business Out there like that Why would you tweet that? I wouldn't I wouldn't confront them though No One of my boys He your boy too He gonna be mad I tell this Cause he definitely Watching this episode Cause he fuck with B-Han He He went over to this girl house And he you know This is Mike right? No that's not Mike I'm about to say This is not me Over who? I love a good Mike story Now this our other boy He crazy Like he like One of them boys like Well you only can hang with him Like twice a month Okay Like more than that Like you gonna get Yeah you gonna get into some shit He you know He was talking to this girl And He was hitting it And then Almost everybody in the city Found out he hit it And he was like How everybody know? And she had like A doggie cam Hooked up in her living room And she recorded the whole thing Oh yeah man What the fuck does this have to do with me? But you know him Oh okay Yeah Mike got nervous Don't tell his whole story Is that the fuck? Okay Set up a Wait a minute Hold on bro Cause I love y'all Cause we be all over the place I appreciate that But She recorded this nigga And put it on the internet? Like sent it to Like everybody that she know Oh she just sent it to everybody Yeah yeah yeah But it was It was girls hitting him up Like Yo what's up with you? Damn So bro was putting in work You know what I mean? He must have saw the camera But he got a ball later He was probably doing He was probably bent over Missionary Just getting it in He's like Oh hell Yo you gotta fix your back and shit She out of pocket Now let a man do that to a woman Yeah Oh bro your life Over with Over with That's fucked up though They get away with a lot It's cool though They deserve it Alright This one said Barring money Barring money from me Come with a two hour lecture About getting your shit together It depends how The frequency Mine come with a A 40% Oh interest rate? It comes with no lecture But they ask you for money That means they might be Like in need of it So you about to double it? Listen Mike Let me tell you something about money This is the financial segment of it Okay let's go Let's hear it Listen bro People A lot of people do this When people borrow money They rob Peter to pay Paul So that means they gonna They ask you for a hundred But they ask me They ask Freaky Pat They ask the nigga that got recorded They ask the bitch that recorded him Everybody for a hundred But you only thinking they need a hundred Yeah And this is why I hit people With a heavy gratuitous Bro Cause I know the game So you always gotta double it bro Don't ever think you the Don't ever think you the favorite nigga I think we talked about this In the pod too We talked about this In the pod too before It depends how much You're asking for as well Let's do numbers We here But let's say somebody's asking for They need something for 15,000 They're just trying to collect From everybody And I say How much you got so far? And they say I still got I got like a thousand so far And I'm like I'm the wrong person to To come to first then Do another lap And if it's like So what if they got 12? 12 You got three? I got three for them It depends who they are Stay married No it depends It depends who it is Go to church Cause them piranhas They eat him up They eat him up He talking about Three? These niggas is happy bro I'm not I'm not talking about Just anybody though I pray your relationship lasts I'm not talking about Just anybody These demons That's out here Now Bro Chop chop Come on now Nigerians Nigerians don't get scammed like that Alright true I mean y'all do the scamming But y'all get trying See you a Nigerian American It depends who it is though You a pick and choose ass nigga You pick when you wanna be Nigerian nigga Nah He do He do I know this nigga Boy Let they independence day I can barely I can barely I can barely understand This nigga today Fuck you and that Jolene Rice That nigga said Jolene Rice Boy y'all ass brother St. Mary's He said he got the three Out the gate But you talking You guys are talking You guys are talking Like I'm talking about A girl But it's the same shit though No I'm talking about It is Is this a family member I can't get three guys I can't get them the worst one Yeah it is But still That's just That's me having the heart then Yeah Yeah Yeah I ain't got no heart But if it's a girl That's Nah come on now My thing is It don't make sense for you Like one of my best friends called He was like $5,000 in the hole Yeah For like backed up He just got out He went to jail And like somebody robbed him Took all his money and shit So I was like Damn how much you got He's like shit Got a little $200 for my pops $300 here So I'm like You need $5,000 You only got $700 on you Yeah I was like My nigga Here's $300 If You don't put it towards That motherfucking apartment That's Go buy your ass a hotel And I take care I take care of a lot of people And even my niggas in jail Like you know what I mean Shout out to his daughter My niece Whatever bro But It's tough bro Yeah It's tough like And this is my nigga I know when he get out If I ever need something It's 10 folks I can't say too much Yeah yeah yeah You know what I'm saying But Outside of that bro It be It be tough Nah You gotta be careful Nah for sure Nah for sure Nah just be careful That's why Come on now Cause you're right Family members will take it back They'll burn you Yeah I mean And it might be one That might You know what One family member Can fuck it up for everybody Cause it could be one like Damn Uncle Vern I never thought you would do This bitch ass shit You know what I mean Uncle Vern Sound like he asked for some shit I always tell Pat this story Just like I have a lot of relatives Like half brothers And And not half brothers But Half brothers in Nigeria Half cousins Oh Cause my grandfather Had three wives And he was like 28 kids Yes So it's a lot of people A lot of half cousins and shit So There's a lot of people That'll reach out to me See they Wait a minute They are off limits Pat Say he can't do that He can't I don't wanna see We gotta We gotta clear some shit up Pat boy You know what I mean Alright go ahead Mike Go fuck But I was always saying That sometimes it's hard For me to have conversations General conversations With people Because I know the conversation Is gonna lead to money At some point So it's always hard For me to have those Like initial FaceTime video What Gene calling you It's always hard To have those initial Conversations With not Like you're just waiting For like okay When's this question When are you gonna ask me For the money part And it's just like So it makes me not Want to talk to people He be getting it a lot though I'm not gonna lie If you take your phone out And Google SEO boo You gonna find me out Obviously The first person Is gonna be him You gonna see some Other niggas And they look just like This nigga They all like doctors Like he the least Successful SEO boo Oh my god Like them niggas Doctors Surgeons Lawyers No I don't know them Bruh Say you swear Bruh I'm telling you bro I'm not the Google Doctor SEO boo Look doctor SEO boo I'm just putting it in And this is like Why your screen gray Is it your ADHD shit Yeah yeah I'm trying to I'm trying to I'm trying to edit a clip Over here And I kept going on TikTok I'm like oh shit I'm like oh shit Look I just Googled Hold on I just Googled Doctor SEO boo This is your last name Yes Welcome to SEO boo surgical Damn Listen they got a whole Clinic bro Yeah you Shit He like the little nigga With the glasses That kept getting locked up Random Oh yeah He definitely scared Do they look alike Yes Bruh we just Went in the same tribe Probably though Huh you think so Is it that 100% You look That much Yeah yeah That's how I work over there Yeah yeah I guess That's your last name That's how like When I be at the shows And they'll be like What's your name You can tell right away They're like my Indian friends They all names Paseo They don't know each other But so My name's My name's not common though That's what I was about to say Cause I just found out Okafor My dumb ass I was arguing with him And didn't even know Okafor was that common Okafor common as fuck Yeah yeah That shit like Johnson over there Yeah Jalil Yeah Jalil Emeka Yeah Emeka's a popular name as well Which one had I always get him mixed up I think Emeka the one that Smashed Candice But it's No that's From Duke That's Sheldon Sheldon Williams Oh yeah yeah Yeah it was Sheldon Shout out to Candy Sue She came She went over to the other side too Yeah She's no longer with us She was about She was one of my first crushes Yeah yeah She was fine Oh my god 2004 Candy Yeah yeah yeah I wanted to play the game with her And then relax after Yeah Sheldon got a steal You know that's what I be saying One person can fuck it up for everybody Sheldon Williams Nah real shit bro Because that trauma from that Like That's some tough shit For a girl To shift gears like that Oh man We're gonna get to some college Before we do that I was just I was just telling I was just telling one of my Young boys I was like He was like Oh he looked up Candace Parker X Because he got a crush on Candace Parker And I'm just like Sheldon Williams was that nigga back then Oh 23 and 12 Bro he was that nigga And he played for Duke Oh god Lottery pick bro Hell yeah I was like he was that nigga But let's get to the listeners Shout out to Candace boy Candace Parker That's one of my Favorites bro She the dope Yeah Oh annoying legend Yo let's take another break From today's episode And thank the sponsor Earning Your paycheck date Could soon become The most irrelevant number In your life Earning is a non-bank Finance app 5 million people and growing The concept is almost Annoyingly simple You earn money You access it Getting paid twice a month Doesn't mean money is scarce It just feels that way Up to $150 a day Of what you've already worked for Up to $1000 between paychecks Tips are optional And standard transfers Take one to two business days With no mandatory fees Expedition Dietary transfers Start at $3.99 And cap at $5.99 It's not about emergencies It's just a better way To exist financially Day to day It's absurd how we treat money Versus how we treat Everything else In the instant 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service And four Available in select States Terms and restrictions Apply visit Earning.com For full details Now back to the pod Welcome back Freaking Frack Welcome to the jungle ABC Wednesdays Abbott is back It's gonna be the best year yet Thank you Now we can finally Turn this up And everyone's going wild Y'all think you run this school But you don't It's going great Abbott Elementary Anything can happen In the jungle Right All new Wednesdays On ABC And stream next day On Hulu Yo What's good? Welcome to Crash on These Podcasts What's good, bro? Fuck y'all on today Oh shit, that was aggressive Oh, we got Mike here We got B-Han B-Han in the building Yeah, what's up? Oh, fuck Y'all got B-Han today? What's good, buddy? What's up, bro? What's your dilemma, buddy? Hey, man This shit happened This shit happened Some time ago Or it wasn't a dilemma I had a What's the dilemma? Go ahead Just go ahead, though Uh, what's up? What's the shit y'all asked? Oh, I know This shit was gonna be over Yeah Yeah Yeah, shorty Shorty Shorty go The The day it feels so fucked up I get where she was coming from She was like The day it feels so fucked up I feel like I gotta put up with cheating At one point I just Taxed it I was like Yeah, this shit ain't gonna work out Cause I was younger at the time I was like That's That's too much That's too much leeway for me I'm like I'ma I'ma abuse the fuck out of that shit Oh, that was a self-conscious decision Yeah Yeah, no Yeah, that was me just Like, nah I'm not gonna even run with that shit That was too much power for you? That's no one That's way too much power But that was That was awesome I cheated before But I don't be on that bullshit no more Cause Me and Karma got a fucking Treacherous relationship So I be chillin' out I be honest with the shorties I'm with I be straight up from the jump Shorty said that shit I was like That shit ain't Did you cheat on her And she found out That you cheated? I ain't gotta cheat on the shorty To find out if I fuck with her or not Like, I knew that Within the first couple of months No, I'm talking about The shorty that asked you that Like, or told you that That she had to put up with cheating Did she catch you cheating And say, fuck it? Like Nah, like She said that When we were like In the talking stage You feel? Like, that's how she just felt about That's how she just felt about Like, dudes in Dayton Field And like Yeah, like That's like the standard She felt like she was gonna Have to put up with You feel? Yeah Yeah, um Yeah, it sounded like She was gonna cheat on you, nigga That's what Oh, God She was just like Yeah, but that shit Don't be none of my That shit don't be none of my business Like, that's how they move I mean, it's your business If you're with her You right, but We weren't together, though Like, that was still In the talking stage You feel? Like, it weren't like We were like a year or two in So you ran away from her Because of that? You didn't wanna even crack her? Yeah, bro Like, yeah Nah, I cracked Like, we were cool and all It was some casual shit You said, no, no I cracked Yeah, put that on There you go Okay Alright, man Alright, brody Y'all fucking moving crazy, bro Y'all be easy, though Alright How we moving crazy? Fake, fake Fake, fake Nigga, fake, fake This person Yo Yo Yo, welcome to Craftsman's Podcast What's going on, Mike? Not much, not much I got a question for you What's the moment You realized Your relationship was over? I lost my mom's ashes, cuz She did what? She lost my mom's ashes She lost your mom's ashes Achoo Achoo Yeah Achoo How'd she do that, cuz? What was y'all doing? Was y'all moving to a different apartment? Nah, so like Let me go back a little bit You sure you wanna do that? Archive Are we on speakerphone right now? I can get a little bit of context Nah, it's my hip hop Yeah, take them off, bro Take them off We need a story Stop going to Radio Shack And getting y'all shit Yeah, this is Watch how great he's about to sound Yeah He got them on That's better Yeah Yeah Alright, so boom Dukes got diagnosed With some cancer So she was in hospice care And all that So out of nowhere Around Christmas time She hit me with the Yeah, I'm going down to Florida For a work trip Okay Wanted to So I'm like, alright Mind you, it's just me and her In the crib So if she down in Florida And my mother in fucking hospice It's just me So, boom Dukes passed She in Florida I call her She like, oh damn I'm so sorry I'm like, bitch I'm down here by myself But She come back And come to my mother's service And was just like, yeah Your mom was so welcoming Can I have some of her ashes And put them inside This little memorial necklace I'm like, no But you can ask my folks, I guess I'ma say no Yeah They told her, yeah She put some ashes She put some of the little ashes In the necklace We got home that day, gang She threw the necklace On the dresser And we never saw that shit again Not even on the dresser She threw it on the dresser She threw it on the bookshelf So you didn't look for it? Gang, I tore the whole apartment out Like, we ripped the whole apartment out, bro Wait And she How long She just lost a little bit So she probably lost the Damn, that's my mother big toe, bro I need that She probably lost your mama lips, nigga You good I'm thinking she lost the whole body Yeah, I thought that was like the whole thing Nah, Howard Nah Don't ever say that shit like that Don't think you're crazy He lost his nigga mama lips So he's mad That nigga B-Han is Nah How long you been with her Before that? Nigga, three Nigga, is that B-Han laughing in the back? What's up, gang? R.I.P. to Dukes No, no, no R.I.P. to your mom R.I.P. to Dukes We don't feel alone Appreciate y'all Appreciate y'all I appreciate y'all Well, her losing her ass You gotta get on your ass about that, bro Nah, bro Nigga, I don't know how the fuck She would've got the whole Nah, hell nah She can't have it She can't have mama whole But I'm saying, nigga With her even getting that If you said no You should've stood down on that, bro She shouldn't have been able To even get that much Especially if she was gone When you were going through A hard time Yeah And I tried But she hit me with She did My folks with the Her My mom took care of her More than her mom did Yeah, yeah She felt like Okay, let's rewind here What was she doing in Florida For real? You know what, Pat? I ain't even gonna lie to you, gang Nigga, I don't know I don't know What'd your girl do, though? What was her job, though? Her title? At that time, she had, like Started a little Non-profit business for kids But mind you, we up here in D.C. Yeah So the organization Take place up here in D.C. And out of nowhere They're like, yeah, we gotta Type shit I'm like, you taking these You taking these ugly little Motherfuckers down there For a debate? Nah, she didn't get no 403B She got some 403D What? Damn What, um She didn't get a 403B She ain't no good will She got some good dick Fuck Where in Florida Where in Florida did you go? Shit nigga I don't know bro I ain't here to ask her You didn't know what city? That wasn't I mean Yeah yeah She went to Jacksonville But I was like I didn't really give a fuck I had other concerns I feel that That's real That makes sense She told me I'm about to take this work trip How soon did she get rid of her? That's what we That's what we want to know You really want to know bro? Yeah how long How long after? Cause that wasn't even That wasn't the final strike That's just how I knew Shit was going downhill She lost the ashes? Yeah I was like This bitch don't care gang Did she check behind The picture frame? Nigga she didn't even look Oh man So what was the final one? Bro believe it or not bro She told me I wasn't there for her Shit I mean we don't We don't know you so We don't know if she's telling us You could have not been there for her But she wasn't there for you Did her mom Did her mom That's my point What was going on with her? No No She wanted a new job And why wasn't you there for her To support her? She was She was not a real job She was broke That's your bitch I'm like I'm like look So mind you I already spent to her The whole housewife bill I was like you want to be a housewife? That's cool I make money You feel me? We ain't got to do that 50-50 shit She's like no I want to work for my own I'm like okay cool She got fired from the job That she left me for They fire her dumbass She arguing with the Her man She probably On some real shit bro She just didn't feel safe with you Because in the same things Where you said She could be a housewife You just said she was a broke ass bitch So she didn't feel Not so look The broke ass bitch came later Before that I had money It was in there already though I had You don't call nobody A broke ass bitch If you ain't already think They was a broke ass bitch Yeah It was already Nah but if I told her She could be a housewife And then she wait three months Till after that It'd be like yeah nah I don't want to do that You just struggle with the bills And I'm going to go find Some shit to do Who struggle with the bills? You? At one point in time Yeah Mind you My mother had just passed Yeah yeah Dukes had just passed I'm just coming back from leave I was like kid I got to get this money back up I got the money Like I make decent money I ain't going to lie Every time we get on your ass You throw dukes in our face You got it Yeah You got R.P. to hurdle Real short Nah but I told OG We can't use mom as an excuse Yeah Every time we get Nah I'm not trying I ain't even trying Cause you know You know you're not Going to talk about your mom Nah yeah We definitely don't want to do that I just want to say bro I want some real shit bro You probably the one That's a piece of shit bro Right I ain't going to lie The A.O. I not said that Nah like And that's kind of like Pat just text me that For me to tell you that Yeah Like Cause I'm a guest on the show bro But I feel like You was never there for her Even on her work trip bro You didn't even know Where she was bro So I feel like While you was going Through what she was doing You didn't care You was being selfish On your end bro That's just a real Nigga that was a last minute trip Bro she did not have to Take that trip I could see it We was talking about it Like it was on an itinerary She hit me that same week Like yeah I'm going down To Florida this weekend Yeah alright Alright Brody We rock with you bro Nah for sure bro Keep supporting for sure bro You got a new girl You got a new girl though Hold on Couple Okay Go ahead Ball up Let me spit a little Something real quick I've been watching the show For a minute You feel me I've been Nah nah nah nah I'm gonna spit some Real shit to y'all I just wanna say A little message But yeah I've been Watching the show For a minute Both audio listener And I'll be watching The YouTubes I'm not fucking With the Patreon Right now though Boy bye Got it Pat I'm fucking With your new pod I just seen it come out Be here and I'll fuck With you in the 520 squad Appreciate You feel me Y'all keep doing Y'all thugs That's what you feel me I'm mad as shit I missed the DC show Yeah yeah yeah But next time Y'all spend through That for real Nah I wouldn't It wasn't like that But you good We gonna come back Yeah Man let me know some bro I'm gonna be in there for sure Alright bye Y'all be easy Alright one Hello Hello Yo what's good Hey whoa What the heck Hey guys Hey hey Buzz it open Buzz it open What the fuck What's up with you What the fuck What's up guys Sorry I'm Canadian I'm excited That's how I knew It was something different About it No this is cool Nice to meet you guys Okay what's your dilemma So I put in my dilemma That I'm not sure If I'm married So Basically I'm 26 And I said that I wasn't going to be On dating apps anymore So I've only been Meeting people in person So I met this guy At like Like an arcade bar Type of place When it was raining And I was trying to Order an Uber And he asked for my number And then we He said that he would Call me the next day So he called me Conversation was really good Nothing Like no red flags so far He seemed really nice He said that he lived Two hours away But he would be down To drive And still go on a date So he comes the next day And we go out for dinner Dinner was fine It was fine It was chill And then we were going to go To do mini golf after And while we're playing Mini golf He's making a lot of like Very sexually explicit jokes Like kind of hinting That that's what he wants To do Let's hear one of them Oh we were We were in the dark Like those mini golf places That go in the dark ones And he was like Oh my god Like sex would be crazy In the back of a room Or like a closet in here That's not a sexual event That's a crazy shot Yeah That's a crazy shot I was like Yeah that would be crazy You know just trying to play it off And he's like Do you know if there is one here Like looking at me crazy And I'm like Oh my god Like there's no way he's serious But anyway we keep going And then he keeps like Making jokes about being distracted Like and how he's not getting any in Because he keeps looking at me Blah blah blah And we like end the night Or whatever And we're In his car And he says like Do you know a lookout By where you live Like so we can continue talking I just want to continue talking And then we go to like a lookout And he is like really nervous For some reason To tell me something And he basically says like Oh I'm from I'm this like Strain brand Of Islam Strain is crazy Sorry Like a different branch of Muslim Where they do like Temporary marriages Like if they want to do anything sexual Since they're very strict And he was like Basically we do it for like A week a month Or like however long We both want But it's kind of An unofficial marriage Just so we are Like when we do anything It's not haram And I don't know why I went along with this But he made me recite The whole vows And the whole like Ceremony In Arabic In his car And the only thing I understood was my name Because he said something And then he said This is where you say your name So I said my name And I'm like okay So like I guess for a month We're married technically And he's like yeah Like in our country It's enforceable Sometimes we can enforce it Even in this country And I'm like Holy shit what did I just do I'm going to slow you down I'm going to slow you down Because everybody want to know The magic question Did y'all have sex that night? No Okay Y'all did during the marriage though No Like we did the whole process And he kept Basically And I told him that I was only comfortable With just like Kissing or making a whatever Because I don't sleep with people On a first date And then after the whole ceremony I guess that happened He's like now Trying to say like Well you're my wife We have to test every aspect Of our connection If you want to stay married And continue And I'm like bro Like I already told you Like what it was for me And you said that You were fine with that And then he's like Well yeah but now you're my wife Like I can actually Like I can still keep asking you So I'm like Alright bro And mind you Where we're parked Is like literally Right behind my house And I was staying with my parents And my dad's a pastor So like I'm not about to Fuck you behind my dad's house bro Like what? Like my pastor father's Like Pastor Jerome's house? Like no way bro I'm not doing that You said man Hold on hold on man Can you mute up? You said You said you married This motherfucker In the car But you wouldn't Basically That's ass backwards No bro Are you You know how serious That is in that No you know how serious That is in our religion For you to do that? I'm telling you But he also Not a serious ass dude though He told me he was gonna come back He told me he was gonna He told me he was gonna come back The next weekend And I would've fucked him then But I was like Not today It's our first date I don't do it on the first date But if you're If you come back next weekend Like hey Like you know Like we can get a hotel We can do Make some shake You know You are the You are like You are like the perfect Girls like that Non-gullible Gullible person I've ever met In my fucking life He was like Rage baiting him Like He probably never Got through the vows Without hitting Nelson's first He like Never had nobody Read the vows Before he even like Brought up the whole Marriage conversation thing I already had said Like on the first date Like I'll kiss you But I'm not doing Anything after that So he already knew So I don't know If he was trying to Push after that Cause I brought that up Even before he had told me About the whole Marriage bullshit You read the vows That's a body Yeah It is It's a mental body I'm sorry It is bro That's not a body That's not a body I make jokes and shit a lot bro You can't do shit like that Though man Please I'm not How is that a joke though Cause I said If anything happened Next weekend Then sure So what happened So he So he - He never came back? He was planning to, but then I told my best friend, and she's like, oh, record your screen right now, and then go to the number, and she said, block him right now, bro. Oh, so you have some friends that are looking out for you, then. Yeah, she literally said, on screen right now, block his ass, and don't ever text that nigga again, because there's no way that shit is real. Hold on. Hold on. Yes, we're rarely married, bro. Like, what? Get up, just real quick. What's your race? Oh, I'm from Rwanda. I'm black. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, shit. I ain't gonna lie. Wait, why does that make a difference? No, no, no. That nigga. The vibe just shifted really quickly. That nigga's a Canadian. That shit. You better than David Blaine the way you put that nigga. That nigga came out of Dallas. What? I'm sorry, man. Y'all niggas dropped. I thought y'all were on my side. This nigga's trifling, talking about temporary marriage. No, no, no. He a creep, for sure. Yeah, creep, creep, creep, creep. Yeah, we need to know what you're talking about. He's older than me. He's like 31, which is like not that old, but still, like, that's crazy. Yeah, we thought you, the reason we was talking to you like that, we thought you was like a white woman from, like, Quebec or some shit. Would have been told your ass, you tripping. You stupid as hell. We could talk to you how we want to talk to you. You one of us. You dumb as hell. You should have started off with that nigga. So we could have got this shit off the wall. A black pastor? Your daddy would have killed that nigga. My dad would have killed me if he knew what his daughter was doing in the last minute. That nigga, ain't you? Oh, man. Yeah. The black pastor's on play. Ain't he Rwandan? Fuck. He's Rwandese as well, yeah. Yeah. Well, how you say it? Rwandese. He's an immigrant father, bro. You know the Nigerian accent is very much there. Like, that asshole would have been that. Yeah, yeah. He would have exposed me in his church. He said, you got married? Why are you married? Where's your husband? I was about to say, some of y'all Africans be saying. This nigga is so crazy. Yeah, for real. That shit scared the fuck out of me. That shit. That shit sounded fresh. It sounded like music. I'm divorced in two days, so it's all good. Yeah, it sounded like music. That was your first 10 niggas right there. That was number six. She's still figuring out how to say that shit. You guys thought I was whiting it that hard by the bottom of the yard? I think when you said you were from Canada, it just got the random assumption just came that you were. And you sound really giddy at the point. At the beginning, too. And we should know that. We should know better, because Toronto got a lot of black women here. Yeah, I've been here for 17 years, so my accent's gone. My accent's fully gone. Yeah, we should know better, because Toronto got a lot of black women, and a lot of black women that are immigrants, so we should have known better. That's us. That's true, but that's all right. I'm divorced in two days, so we up. Okay, appreciate you, nigga. Yo. Yo, what's the word? Yo, welcome to Crash on Me's podcast. I'm here with Mike, special guest B-Han in the building. B-Han from Jeff T. Sheep? Yes, sir. What's happening, brody? Hey, dude. Hey, can you actually hoop, or you just hang with hoopers? That's a good question. That is a great question. I used to hoop in high school, bro. That was it, bro. Them just my guys. Okay, okay. Yeah. I feel it. Nigga had a question loaded. Goddamn. All right. What's your dilemma? My dilemma is, you know, I'm a guy. My dilemma is, I feel like I have such a hard time talking to women in public, but like in the DMs, it's like green every time. Okay. Wow. So I'm just working on my approach. Let us, give us an example of one of your approaches. So like, say, because I work in like grocery stores a lot, so I see a lot of people every day. So I see some. And like, ask them like, you need help finding something or whatever, and if they reply it's like dry, or it's not really anything I can work on, I kind of just hit them with a have a nice day and walk away. Yeah. So your line is, you need help finding something at work. No, that was just an example. That's a terrible example. That was just an example. That's a you. You work there. Goofy ass thing. You work at the fucking grocery store, so if I see you with this polo tucked in these thick ass canes, nigga, I'm going to say, nah, bro, I'm cool. Or a woman's going to be like, no, I'm fine. Nah, but it's like date. You know how people like. Nah, nah, nah. He didn't try to help five women with a red shirt on their target, and they're talking about, no, I don't need help. He go back to the break room like, these hoes be playing. These hoes playing. Like, no, you're on duty right now. It was always someone they don't ever need. But see, that shit only happened during daytime. When I go out and shit and I get a little licked, it's easy to talk to them. But when I'm sober at work, doing the day-to-day, I'm getting nervous. I don't even know what to say for real. Maybe you shouldn't be trying to get girls when you're at work. You don't got no OGs or nothing around you? You got pops, your uncles, cousins, nobody? Yeah, well, I do my older brothers and she would stay in Texas. My dad ain't shit, so. That's a lot of black kids. So, ain't none of them ever told you, damn, bro, this how you got them? This how you got to talk to them, got them? Yeah, no, I know what to do. It's just, I be nervous. You know, you at that line, game on the line. Yeah, how old are you, though? 27. Woo. Oh, yeah. What's getting her over, bro? You supposed to be 21, just talking like this. When was your last relationship? Uh, last year. What happened with that? Uh, none. She found out I was still talking to my baby mama. Oh, this nigga got a baby mama. You let that all over her? You got a lot of shit going on with your nigga. Nigga, talking about how to approach women. Talking about nervous. Don't be a father, nigga. What are you talking about? What the fuck, nigga? Nah, this is the only one. This is when I'm, like, not actively on daddy duties. I mean, when I got the kids with me, it kind of make it a little. Easier to talk to. Nigga, how many kids do you have? Bro, we not doing this, bro. No, no, no. How many kids you got? I'm an active father. No, we believe it. Yeah, we believe it. How many kids you got, though? I got four kids. Oh, my. This is why. This is why you acting like that. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. This is why you so goddamn defensive. Holy shit. Because you don't know how to tell a bitch that you got four kids. No, I kind of. I leave with that. After. After the initial, you know. Oh, nigga, that's a 30-minute conversation. That's, like, the first thing I say. Like, I make it known, like, I got four kids. Yeah. They come first. If you willing to fuck with me still, then that's cool. But it's all about one woman, right? Oh, see, I was like, you're a lot. Multiple baby mamas. Oh, y'all are serious. No, no, listen, listen. Multiple babies by, as a black man, multiple baby mamas, you might as well just carry yourself. Oh, no, no. It's a lot of people. It's a lot of people that are here. It's a lot of people that are here, your position, and tell you to kill yourself. Yeah. So, it's like. I mean, shit. Who's to say I haven't tried? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This bitch just made this shit dark now. All right, now. So, y'all done brought me to this shit. And y'all need to start screening some of this. Because my nigga got four kids, a baby mama, and a girl, and still asking how to approach women. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't have a girl. And it's not that I don't know. How is that when I'm like. During the daytime. When I go out. Because you're at work. You're at work. Exactly. What is this nigga, a bat? And I be seeing the baddest bitches while I'm at. Or my bat, International Women's Decade. It's too late now. It's too late. They know who you are. Where can the people find you? What you mean? What city? You got to, like. Let's give you some pub, bro. No, I called before. I'm the soda nigga that built. Pyramids in the soda. Oh, I like that. Is he from. Where are you from? Yeah, you know, he wasn't the one from Milwaukee. I'm from Milwaukee. Oh, he was from Milwaukee. Yeah, I'm from Milwaukee. Yeah, you don't have to pack it up, brother. I ain't going to lie to you. This young nigga got to come to the club with me. I'll fuck with this young, wild nigga. This young, wild nigga. Yeah, I'll be seeing Mike and Pat at the clubs. You don't. You don't. No, you never. Your nigga never seen me at the club. Nigga never seen. Who do you see? Me? Yeah, nigga. Both of you niggas. Nigga, when's the last time you see me in public? You've never seen me at the club, bro. Yeah. I seen, I seen you, both of you niggas at 720. Yeah. I seen both of you. I seen Pat at Unfinished Legacy one time. That's not a club. That nigga talking about a store. But I'm saying, I've seen you. I've seen you. No, I believe you've seen that. The city's small as a bitch, though. I ain't going to lie. Shout out to Milwaukee, man. That's dope. Yeah. No, that's real. But you need to pack it up, bro. Yeah, pack it up. You need to find you, you need to find you. You need to stop talking to all these women, let some shit happen, natural. Or try to talk to a woman with your normal clothes on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why don't you throw a jacket on over that motherfucker? Not his work uniform. No, listen, listen. The work uniform is crispy, though. I can't lie. Like, I need complimenting on my work shirt. Where you work at? What's the work uniform, if you don't mind saying? He just said it. He's stocked up. Yeah, I do merchandising for a top soda company. Yeah, OK, OK. OK. the only one in Wisconsin, nigga. Oh, shit. - I got it too, hey, hey. Tell Harai to bleep that shit Yeah yeah They put it together Yeah yeah But uh He got you But yeah Obviously you can still talk to women You know Don't let us stop you We thinking you a 27 year old virgin bro You got a whole lot of shit going on man Man I wish I was at this point Nah your life is complicated bro But yeah Maybe not in the work uniform Maybe I try like mid afternoon Okay that makes sense That make more sense Or what did you say to the motherfucker That you got four kids with You got some game to lay a motherfucker down Spray him down four times man Hello Hello Mike you said you really really wanted this call Why Oh shit Mike really Go ahead Mike This is crazy Welcome to Crash Dummies Podcast first of all Hi thank you Happy International Woman's Century By the way Oh thank you I appreciate it Oh my god Talk her through it Mike I got a question for you Name a time you were super gullible Okay so I had this guy that had been like I went on a weight loss journey So I lost about 80 pounds God damn Good job Thank you So I had this guy that had been like Following my journey for a while And he's a trainer And he like always was liking my stuff And here and there He would reach out and say like I'm a big fan of you Like I'm really impressed by your progress Etc etc Well then one day I posted something Like TikTok The TikTok shop recommended A like holder that goes on your head For like your phone And I was like That's a little suggestive So I screenshot it and put it on my story Like are people actually buying this And he responded to it And he was like Oh He mentioned something about how he was like He's like a freak And I was like Oh Okay Crazy shots But we had We had Talked in the past about his training rates And so I was I wanted to train with him But apparently he had other ideas So then he was telling me like Oh by the way I used to have an OnlyFans And I was like Okay And Then he was like Yeah I used to shoot with Bang Bros And Oh I see On OG I haven't heard Bang Bros in a minute Nah he just triggered me That's crazy Yeah so I was like Okay where is this going Like I just wanted to train with you So I was under the impression That he was like Genuinely Impressed with my progress And this whole time he was Plotting So He the nigga for real You from Bang Bros They usually Yeah so like What do you mean he was plotting Like what are some of the signs Like He would Like he would like Heart react To some of my stories Or he would like some like The fire emoji But if I was like Thank you He wouldn't respond So I was just like Okay But he would Like those are the little signs Every single time I posted something He was like right on it Like one of the first people to like it I got a I got a quick question for you I just I just want to ask you this question And then I want you to answer it Okay If you're losing weight Right Where does like the weight Affect you the most Like where's What's going to be the biggest difference Your Like in my Your body Right And then he's telling you He's a big fan Of what you're doing Right So is your body So anybody's telling you They're a fan of you losing weight I mean they like your new body And they want your new body Well yeah but he's a trainer So I thought he was looking at it At the lens Okay you still don't Get it okay I'm impressed by you She was thinking He was trying to help her Tone up after shedding all the weight Oh okay I thought he was like Impressed by the progress Because he's a trainer He knows what goes into Changing the body Hey motherfucker Lose 80 pounds You look totally different No 80 pounds That's That's some good shit That's my daughter He was trying to thrash some shit Oh absolutely Absolutely Did you Did you guys ever meet in public No we never did Oh okay Oh you good Stay away from that nigga You ain't even gullible then No that's not really gullible Yeah you didn't go You didn't fall for the bait How long ago was this Like a month ago Oh yeah Okay you needed our help To get over it She's like Do I let this one go y'all No let it go Let it go Let it go Well I have a boyfriend And he knew that Oh you got a boyfriend Wait you had a boyfriend This whole time Yeah Yes Oh I don't know That's gotta That's it I don't know That changes a lot Now you responding to them messages You shouldn't even know Hold on You shouldn't even knew That my boy was a Bang Bros legend Yeah He offered that information After he said he was a freak I was like Oh okay And then he's like But once you But once you saw the freak thing You might You should've just ended The conversation there Why did you shut it down Oh okay So it's my fault No no no It's not We're not saying it's your fault Yes it is Mike stop Yes it is No we give you like This is like more like Family member advice Yeah yeah There's not no like Trying to be politically correct No About how men should act And stuff like that Obviously we know he a freak We talking about personally to you Yes You did too much As somebody in a relationship Yeah I don't want your boyfriend To hear this and be like Cause your boyfriend Probably gonna be like Damn man He don't even gotta be insecure He like How did you get all this Information out of him Bang Bros Why did he say Your price was your training Cause you know Cause it don't matter If you told Cause you gonna tell your man Babe I turned him down I did such and such When you go to sleep He gonna look that nigga up Yeah For sure For sure Wow My baby like I know he did But girls respond To messages all the time I just feel like With that instance right there You probably should've known Cause if you just wanted Some training advice And he told you He was a Bang Bro legend You should've shut it down When he said the freak part That's where it should've Yeah you should've Just shut it down Cause you already know What he was trying to get to Yeah But I guess I guess you were gullible In that situation Like you said Yeah so now it makes sense Now when she does With the boyfriend shit It makes sense Yeah Okay Yeah cause I originally Reached out to him For his training prices I wasn't That wasn't even my thought process Okay Last question I wanna see if you answer that If you didn't have a man Would that conversation Went the same way Well he has a girlfriend See that's not the answer We looking for You didn't even answer That question We trying to Oh this is all Oh my god I don't know because I don't know because I ended up finding out Additional information Why? Why? How are we getting here? What does it matter? Oh man Stop doing research It doesn't matter Man Happy International Woman's Century though Oh my god This is crazy Be real Did you look up his videos? Yeah Oh wow I like it Her boyfriend just Dropped to his knees No for real Hello Yo You probably our last caller today Oh my fucking gosh Yeah you barely made it You made it Oh my gosh Don't say it like that This is Oh this is real as fuck Oh my god Oh shit she about to blow it This is dope Welcome to Crash W's podcast We got our special guest here B-Hen today How you doing? Hi I'm good how are you? I'm good I'm good I'm good Alright we got a question for you What's your dilemma? Okay okay Hear me out Oh goodness Hold on Heard Because He's He's on his way to come Pick me up for my birthday Damn it Oh happy birthday I gotta be honest Thank you thank you Yeah speak fast Okay Okay It's like five minutes out Okay So I met this guy So I just got out of a Really bad relationship Maybe about like a year ago We had been together For like maybe nine or ten years And so I met this really amazing guy I mean He is so Dope He is everything I mean like Yeah That's my bad Go ahead We'll see You can't be that dope You laughing at that nigga Mike jokes like that Look I've been watching you guys For a while I love y'all Oh my gosh I love you guys For real But anyways I met this amazing guy He's like Complete opposite of everything That my ex was He's a traditional man I mean I just He is everything But He's like We had sex For the first time Last week And That shit was weak His dick was so small Oh my god I mean Listen No one's looking Don't tell me Y'all was in there Scissoring He got a He got a big butt He was talking up Such a big Big game He was talking up Such a big game So like When it finally happened It was like Oh This This is it I couldn't like When he kept slipping out What's the problem? No okay It wasn't that Okay so You know We're touching And we're touching But he wouldn't let me Put my hand in his pants I'm kind of like Okay He kept on like Deflecting Deflecting I'm like okay so Wait wait wait No It's not ready Preheat the oven This is so laughing at me. You guys are. Oh, my God. That's your birthday. Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. He's on the way. And so, I did, like, this little weird maneuver flip, and, like, I was able to get his boxers off, and I, like, went to put my head down, and, like, my forehead touched his abdomen, like, just. The impact was crazy. I'm like, this is it? Like, there was no. She got all pelvis. You was able to put the dickhead balls in your mouth at once. And I'm just like, well, what do I do with this? Like, what do I. I had to just attempt. I had to go to town on it what I could, and then when I tried to get on top of him to. And it was. I couldn't feel anything, so I'm like, okay, let's flip positions like this, and we tried to do the position, and we tried to do it from the back, and it wouldn't stay in. It was just. He kept slipping as he did. But he's a good guy, though, right? He's amazing. Like, he is amazing. Like. Is he a big fella? He's super cool. He's a big fella. And he's like. No, he's not big. He's like. I'd say maybe 5'7", 5'8". Maybe like a 150. Not 150. Oh, he's a little boy. This is my question, because this is. This is where. This is where things get dicey. My guess is y'all haven't had a big argument yet. Y'all still in the honeymoon phase, correct? Correct. Right, right. So, sex don't matter right now. That's why it's a. That's why it's up in the air and it's a dilemma to you. When you get mad at that nigga for coming home late or you went through his phone and you see something y'all ain't like, that sex is the only thing that's probably gonna fix it and he ain't gonna. He don't have the facilities for that. Yeah, like. I don't feel like. You're wasting your time. Was you the aggressor when y'all started touching on each other? Or was he the first one to pull the. He was. He was. Oh, wow. He's a demon. Yes. But that's what I'm saying. And, like, he was hyping up such a big game. I mean, we were talking for months before. Like, we were talking for months, months, months. Wow. That's why I don't believe in waiting. Like, the anticipation. Wait, I feel you. That's why it's bullshit. How many times y'all had sex? Only once? Four times since. But every time, I'm not. I'm not finishing every time. Like, I have to. Once he leaves, I have to go and do it myself. With your rose? Yeah. Yeah. So, is he the one that's coming to pick you up right now? Yeah. Dude, you at least get some head. You get some head. That's all I'm saying. No. Oh, he don't give head either? Is he Nigerian? Come on, man. No, no offense, man. No. That's Jamaicans that don't. Oh, okay. That's one of y'all. That is one of y'all. Oh, no, no. He's black and Mexican. Oh, shit. I don't think Spanish men do that. Man. Well, we know what side he got his dick from. Oh, my God. That's crazy. That's crazy. My best friend is there for real. Oh, my God. That's so crazy. He got that dick. He got that. He got that. Yo, what's the word? What up, Pat? What's the word, brother? Welcome to Crash and Me's podcast. It's good to be back, man. What's up? What's the word? I got a question for you, bro. What's your million dollar idea? Anti-horny pills, bro. You know how niggas got, like, Viagra and Citi. Whatever the fuck you call that shit. I really feel like these old niggas that work at warehouse jobs need anti-horny pills, bro, because. Specifically warehouse jobs? There's a lot of niggas who need that shit, but them niggas the most. Like, bro. Okay, okay. Before you go into that, explain exactly how the horny pill will work. Like, how many you need and what's the difference between the dosage? How long do they last? Who's giving out this dosage? I'm going to say class. Side effects. Yeah, side effects. All right, all right. Oh, side effect. If you say anything horny, bro, you die. Heart attack. Automatic. Oh, so it's like a. So it's not a pill. It's more like. A sleeper cell. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They got a kill switch? I thought it was like. When you said. We got to get rid of these. When you said anti-horny pill, I thought it was like, oh, man. I got to stop being horny. They either about to send me to. We'll figure out, like, the semantics. We'll figure out the semantics of, well, research. We'll do that. But right now. Not an FDA approved pill. I don't think it's going to get FDA approved by the way this nigga talking either. They're going to be like, nigga, what are you talking about? That's a lot of shit that this nigga's using. This nigga talking about, hey, what does the pill do? Hey, it killed a nigga if he get horny. I got a feeling he aware of how it's working. Yeah. I am, man. I work at Chrysler. Oh, they. Oh, man. My dad work at. I ain't going to say where he work at, but he work at a place that's similar to that. And they be horny in there, man. Nigga talking, bro. Listen, I drive high-lows and the high-low niggas are the most horny-est niggas. Not me. Not me. He keep putting himself in the demographic. Not me. You kind of fit. It's like that. They say I'm the black sheep of the company. You ever seen that SpongeBob episode where he looked and he's looking for somebody and then they're going to want to poster himself? What's a high-low? Oh, like a forklift. Okay. Okay. So, like, okay. So, my question to you, if you took the horny pills, would you live or die? Would I live? Yeah. We ain't going to talk about that. So, you just. It's a group problem and you want to, like, make y'all better as a group. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, like, I'm not terminal horny. Them niggas be terminal horny. 24-7 horny versus, like, this shit probably hits you like Bruce Banner or some shit. No, if the. They got to be triggered. They got to be triggered for me. Niggas be, niggas be unintentionally horny. Like, bro, come on, man. Y'all take that pill, it's going to be like a genocide in that moment. They're going to come back and everybody dead and it's like, what the fuck is going on? It don't work getting. Ain't no work going to get done. No, that's crazy. So maybe you don't want them to die then, right? You just want it to, like, the effects of the horniness to, like, wear off. No. Okay. Okay, but remember. I'll try to make your invention a little bit better, but. You got to take this pill, too. Because, like, if you're saying it. Why do I have to take it? Because you described the people that need to take it and you haven't denied being horny. You did. I'm not, I'm not. Listen, listen, listen. Only thing you deny being. Like, you just deny being less horny than the people that you're around. You didn't deny being horny. And then you said plant workers, which you work at a plant. What else did you say? It was, like, one more thing that matched up, too. The high-lows. The high-lows. And you say you work high-lows and they're horny, too. So it's just like, you fit all the descriptions. At least you can take the pill. To be fair to your other horny high-low guys. I'm a hypocrite, bro. Fuck no. A horny. A horny high-low hypocrite. A hypocrite. Triple H. Should be the last one standing. Last man standing. Hey, that's my favorite wrestler, too. That's the crazy part. Y'all niggas gonna be in that bitch dizzy as hell. Like, bro, I can't hold it in no more. Let me tell you why I want the pill, though, bro. It was just like the other day, bro, what the old nigga had told me, bro. Like, mind you, I work six. I work five in the morning. So we get up. I get up. I get to work at four, like, 4.30, 4.45. Listen, this nigga told me I can smell the pussy walking the dough. What? He said that at 4.45? 4.45. Oh, he just like. His nose go right over the coffee smell. Fuck coffee. What are you talking. What are you. It wasn't even that. It wasn't. It was unprovoked, too. Like, we were just chilling at the break room. He said. Old head said, man, fuck coffee beans. It smell like somebody flicking that bean. Where she at? Where she at? Yeah, all y'all niggas horned down. Because what was your response? I didn't say anything, bro. I was just like, bro, what the fuck? You didn't say nothing, huh? No, he said, yeah, I can taste it. Oh, that was the smell? What the fuck? Why am I speaking on another man's horniness? I'm not going to check his horniness. Why he so comfortable talking to you? Locker room talk, man. Bye, Trump. Nah, that's crazy. Oh, man. All right, man. All right, brody. All right. Oh, man. Anyway, appreciate you for coming on the pod again. Y'all know that. Man, appreciate you. I can't wait to come out to Milwaukee so we can go to 720. Oh, my God. They gonna love you. They gonna love that soundbite, too. Oh, my God, bro. They gonna treat you like the president and that motherfucker. I swear to God. 720, figure it out so I can come out there with the guys, man, and pull up. Y'all see that, Tony? Yeah. Two free bottles for us, bro. I'm bringing the hand through. He said two free bottles. No, Tony. Man, Tony gonna fuck with you, bro. Tony fuck with us. Okay, well, man. New York DJ. Yeah, we got New York. Come on now. What's another spot out there? 720. No, there's another spot. There's another spot called Whitetail that's dope. Oh, Whitetail dope. Whitetail, give me a food spot, like a steakhouse. What's a steakhouse? Carnivore. Carnivore. Carnivore right below 720. Yeah, yeah. Come on now. There it is. Come on now. That's a whole night right there. Oh, okay. We smoothed it. We in one spot. I'll be in Milwaukee soon. Let's get it. All right, y'all. That's been Crash Dummies episode 280. Make sure you get The Patreon I think it's half off Or something this month London sold out Manchester still Some tickets left And then Oh yeah Arizona I forgot we're going there In November Wow man Look at my guys working Might be scamming though I don't know Our Patreon numbers Be shooting up By like the thousands Come on man Let me work my magic This nigga be like Yeah I'm gonna do You know half off And I'm like Man that shit ain't gonna work They ain't gonna want it Do do do do do Damn And then the money I don't know What the fuck he be doing The money be going to like PayPal And it be coming in Euros I'm like that nigga That nigga got some Oh my gosh Cause they're buying tickets From London Nah I don't wanna hear That shit bro Alright y'all That's been the episode Peace Welcome back Freaking Frack Welcome to the jungle ABC Wednesdays Abbott is back It's gonna be the best year yet Thank you Now we can finally Turn this up And everybody Everyone's going wild Y'all think you run this school But you don't It's going great Abbott Elementary Anything can happen In the jungle Right guys? 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