Legion of Skanks - Gym Flooringtine - Episode 952

Fill her up. You're listening to the gas, digital network. When you hit that bomb drop, block, block. You know what to do, hoping up to pit. Bitch, I'm coming through. Big J, the battle rap champ. I'm up in your west with the strap. Red attack, tank. Red is easy in the building. You better believe it. Never forget. Okay, there ain't got nothing on sleep. Puerto Rican rattlesnake venom in your veins. Natural born killers, lead to the skies. What the fuck? Yeah, I would pull it to the right. And so I could look at your butt hole and clam from the back. Yeah, yeah. Do that with it, which is like, it's weird because it shouldn't do that because you're so skinny. But it's kind of hot that it shakes as much as it will shake. There is good. There is good. It's a little jiggly. And then I look at your butt hole and clam. Yeah, and this would happen to, this would happen to be early with a coffee saring. We must your wife. If you were here, I would never say this in front of Harrington. But this guy's got to lose his wallet and his water. He lost his wallet too. No, who lost his wallet? No, his phone. He lost his phone. His water bottle was left at the casino when he was playing craps at 7 a.m. When he returned here, once the craps table. Great. He had $500 on him now. He left his water bottle there and realized it on the way here. Not a big deal to water bottle. When he went to retrieve it. And they told him that he can't have a back unless he shows them an ID. No. And I think he was close to having an incident because he was like, who the fuck? If anybody comes here and shows you any ID and says, that's my water bottle. It does make no sense. It makes no sense. If there's a missing water bottle, they have a missing water bottle. We can deduce. It's anyone else claiming this missing water bottle? Do you think he's not back because a wealthy high-roar. Said that he would give him $1 million for one night with him. To watch him in his water bottle. Make out. So he. So it comes back here. He's complaining about the water. Is it on the show? Are we on the show right now? Oh, good. Do we should be? He comes back here. He's complaining about the water bottle. All the stuff about your cheeks is on the show. Not all of it. I was recording when he started. But then you also turned on. You're like, you're like, you're going to listen to this later. I went, this needs to be on record. This might be for me. Quit swole up so much. I pushed the record up. The fans say that I have quote unquote, no ass. And so I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You have no taste. It's small ass. Yeah. But it's got a little jiggle, too. It's got give. No, yeah, you know, your ass is not the problem. Thank you. You're welcome, Alex. Oh, you're great. Yeah. So he gets back here. He's upset about the water bottle. I said, all right. Well, I also need you to go get Starbucks for everybody. I texted you. They're orders. I don't have my phone. You didn't impression of me. Yeah. Yeah. My phone, doggy. Harrington. It's so serious. I'll find her. Go get your phone. Something in impression of Louis. Harrington's upstairs in bed with Louis's girlfriend right now. Hey, it's me. It's me. It's me. Louis. Keep the lights off. Louis. I'm sorry. I sneezed and grew 1,000 pieces of body hair. I held in a sneeze and all my body hair grew up. Popped out. I grew green. Shay, you wouldn't happen to have seen a water bottle, would you? Shh. No, no. Hey. Can I borrow 500 hours at the Grand Stable? It's me. Did he win money? No, they're paying me for driving a hidey home. So can I just, like, an advance of that? Oh, my drove them home. Yeah, my drove hidey. That's hilarious. We should talk about that. Oh, that's great. Everywhere. He drove them to different parts of the city and then Tarrytown. We'll give context. Before we tell where Harrington went. Okay. So we're doing the story of war shows here at Mulligan's son, comics. Great shows. They were great. So fun. I mean, what, what lineups are great? You guys are going to love them. Chaotic energy, but just fucking really balls out for the shows. We had a couple of people that didn't want it. Oh, sorry. We had a couple of people that didn't, I think there was a problem with the recording. Nope. We had a couple of people that didn't want to stay the night, a hidey and Mike Lawrence. So we had to provide them transportation to and from Mulligan's son. I have an extra car. So I told, I was like, Alex, find one of the interns or producers that will be willing to drive them to and from. We'll give them some cash. And that'll be that. They found gimmick, who is from the Legion of Skanks. Springtron Olympics. Yeah. And I like gimmick. Brings to the nice guy. I would say gimmick is one of the more normal competent. Yeah. You know, there's a couple we're like, you know, fucking nuts acts like wacky eyes. Like nuts that look like his eyes are constantly wobbly around them. They land like. Yeah. I get excited felt monster. Yeah. Once in a while, if you pull on his arm, they like like like a. Yeah, they do. Been around. Kind of like Randy Feltface. He does. He sort of looks like Randy Feltface. And then fucking cerebral pals all fucked up. Can't send him. There's some real freaks. There's some real freaks that are showing up lately. And gimmick was like, I was like, he's the one. Like, can you told me that nut sack was going to drive my car? I don't know that we would have let it happen. I gotta be honest with you. Yeah. You're very. Yeah. It's not like you're getting NBA guys that graduate. They want to come in turn for you. They're like, oh, this guy's very responsible. No. It's going to be. Let's hope this works out. Yeah. By the way, I think you said NBA. But then I thought you said NBA. And I was like Steve. NBA. Why would NBA person. Yeah. NBA players are like, we didn't make it to the league. So let's go fucking yeah. That'd be great. So he picks them up in the city with my car. It takes my car. He's like probably an hour and a half behind kind of where we are. And when you're leaving from New York, New Jersey area. Yeah. You, you know, every, every like half an hour you leave later after one o'clock, you're adding another hour at least hour or so. You leave it four o'clock. It's a five to six hour ride out here. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? If you leave it, I would. I need five through Connecticut. Is a nightmare. Yeah. It's really not something I, I somehow just got ahead of it. It's going to be about three hours, three, three hours and 15. But I just got it. It was, it said it was going to be like four hours. But then it, I guess I passed something. I passed them threshold. But it doesn't matter. Fucking rambling. So when they get here, Heidi tells my check because Jessica can get changed. She was like, what kind of easier room to change. So I wasn't even there. But she goes in and she. I was in the closet. Yeah. I was like, shoot. They heard that. Yeah. Yeah. Got to show those boobs. He's for ease. How did you go? I can't. What is it? What is it? It says it. It says it. It says it. It says it. It says like the word says it. It says it. Oh, yeah. So, uh, and then Heidi has some things to say about. Uh, gimmick. She was a little handsy. Oh, no. Oh, thank God. I'm like, oh, no. You're reaching the back seat. Hey, don't make me. Don't make me pull this car. Give me a taste. Give me a taste. Don't say, well, T for the tolerance. Yeah. I've seen those fucking fake taxi videos. He's going to be like, hey, you want the room? If I borrow your car to fake taxi a bit. Yeah, dude. So, uh, apparently like. First of all, like, I, what do you want? I, like, I texted him like orange is number. And then I texted him Heidi's number. And I was like, look, dude, this is like circle of trust shit. I was like, we barely know each other. Like, like, it was like, you got to like, you're in a text for one time that you're there. And then you're deleting your number. You're never texting your again. It's like, I'm literally giving Heidi's number to somebody who. I've met five times in my life. He's a legion of Skanks fan for all intents and purposes. He didn't, he felt like a real employee. I've been surprised. Apparently got molested by his uncle as a kid. Oh, he's gay. He's got a bunch of gay shit. He's going to jerk off to that phone number for just the numbers. Lewis and I got into an argument years ago. Never outside the comic strip. And I was, you know, like I said, like, when we got into the argument. Was it about the ride? Yeah, I understand. That's hilarious. I understood your, like, thing of it ultimately. But it was like, can you tell what the argument was? Yeah. So we got an argument. It was we're driving, but we mean lose living near each other. Oh, yeah. The one thing about it now, oh, I'm 100% right. Oh, now let me think about it again. Come back then. I was like, you kind of gaslit me to be like, maybe I am being an asshole. Now that I think back to what this doesn't see if you're going to agree. Okay. And if you would, Jay today, if this happened to you, you would literally, well, first of all, we just all would just take an Uber. Uber. But regardless. You get what I'm saying. We're not in a position to. Everyone's broke. Everyone's broke. We're all broke. I live a minute from Jay. Yep. And we're the plan is to go home together at the end of the night. I forget why. I forget. Do you remember what the thing was that was more to me people at this point? It was maybe too many people. It was definitely too many people. I just don't remember who the people were. But whatever it was, it was to me people in my car. But so it was like, I got Lewis Sarai because he was going to come home with me. I got him a ride from somebody. And in my mind, you're doing like the same thing just to say, you know, oh, gimmick's going to do it. Done. Bro, son. I did you a favor. You're welcome. You're. You're my right. And then someone's going to use. They're like, nah, dude. And then it's like, and then I felt bad because he was like, I'm not taking the ride. And I was like, well, but I don't want you to spend money to go home. But, you know, it's like, but and we, and we got it. What can I tell you why it was with J.J. Ramirez, who I remember that. I have no problem with J.J. Ramirez. I don't know him at all, like at all. And it was just like an awkward thing. I was like, you know, he had a problem. You're you're you're give yourself enough time. Well, you're you're like pushing me like I'm some fucking With a stranger with some dude now gonna weirdly. I was like no. I'd rather take the subway home then get it right now And now I have to awkwardly say to JJ Ramirez. I'm not going to like you enough to do I don't want to be with you. I would rather do anything else. It just made me feel awkward Well, I don't like it. I'm so young and comedy at this point that it's like well, I understand it I understand the things it's like it's an awkward thing and you know the money So I get it completely for sure, but that's definitely How my Lawrence and Heidi felt I guess oh, we would have just trained up if I knew I was gonna spend time with a Mohegan out here to get me and honestly God red blooded mohicken I know it's back on the 90's but like in my mind, okay, it's it's a little bit like when they knew we would be there Me and provided a ride Whether it's an Uber driver or it's one of our employees that are shuttling them That's right. That's common people shut all people comedy clubs pick you up all the way I also hate I would have had instead of being in the car with a comedy club manager Every time I would rather Uber I'd rather lose the money. Don't reimburse me. Just meet me at the morning radio It's no reason to pick me up. I don't need a Starbucks. Yeah, don't drink coffee I don't want to talk to you. This is meet me at the radio very specifically by Denver. It's it's about all Most of the time weren't 60% of the time they're a very pleasant person the manager whoever they have you pick you up And 40% of the time it's just like they're trying to force a conversation You know I do like I don't want to stare at my phone because it seems like I'm being sand-offish and rude But like now I have to pretend to be really involved in something else because I just don't want to talk to a stranger and make a new friend a lot of conversation she got yeah I always pull the move but can we listen to the radio station? We're going to so I can kind of get a vibe Oh, it's all right, that way that's what's not so it's like no friendship. Hey, we're gonna. Let's just banter Let's have a little bullpen session right now. What's your situation like it is fun though when you through the years Oh, when you get to like no people so like that guy picks you up or whatever and you're like Mel from Denver. I love the show. She's awesome. I don't mind. Mal. I love Mal. There's a few people that are great There's some people that are like the new manager that the club that's like oh, I was always a big fan of Kingway to me So when you guys to delete did you guys have and you're like my life? How many minutes and I then I could access I literally pull up The where the radio station is on the maps to the point where it's like it'll be in 3.2 miles make it right You're 11 minutes away and I'll just stare at the person be like we have 11 minutes to fucking get through this We've 11 minutes to get through this. Let's not make it fucking terrible. I work a promoter in Canada I was his name he was like such a young comic dude like you know eight months in comedy six months in comedy And he's just like really just fucking the app and it up dude Just like and like not even like asking you questions like that even though like hey, do you give me advice? He's telling me about the business And we're doing like you know you gotta do we're doing a bunch lines We're doing like a four city run and he's driving me through like two and a half hours to each city By my city to like I do I can't like I hate this so fucking much He's like hey dude between city two and city three He was like I want to like I was like that's kind of near my hometown It's a little bit like I was like it is that other way. It's like it's like an hour out of the way It's like my buddy's another comic. He really wants to have lunch with us He really wants to meet you and I was like I went no, I don't want to do I was like I can't do an hour I was like I got a lot. I'm really tired. I got a lot of stuff today. This is crazy. You would specify this guy And you're in his living room. You're already in he watch You have things back in front of you. What? Your hands are crossed under a blanket. Talk to you like Is this misery who are you doing pulling up to a restaurant that I said I didn't want to come in now right on the way It was crazy, but they let you sleep and that's respectful They didn't wake you up and go hey, we're here You said hey, I didn't want to wake you up and tell you I changed my mind It was the craziest thing I don't want to wake you up and let you know that I made a major decision on your behalf. I'm the gatekeeper Dude, it was fucking that sucks. I mean I could you go in? Yeah, I mean I had to yeah, but I was huffie and puffy about You're like lemonade hash browns two eggs over easy Well, the other problem is like I'm the headliner. So now like now I'm paying for lunch that I don't want to pay for with people I don't want to pay for lunch with you know, of course. I got to put my card and fucking put it down You got to meet your new friend I'm talking to two people. I don't want to talk to eating a meal an hour the way also would like a guest spot If there's any available of course reason that he fucking had a meeting at just quick five minutes if you have time You always have time you get to point in comedy where like they're like do you guys might have this guy's about to exert my time I'll do 30 minutes. I'll do 20 you want me to 20? I do that all the time. I go. They go. Do you care if people get sent them all up there? They don't let me be able to get spots. Yeah, because what we have to have the show over by 8 30 goes Give me up for like 8 15. Yeah. Yeah I'll get them good and they'll feel like they got Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna give them a 45 minute show and 15 minutes just so you know Yeah, because I'm gonna power through something to try to get through this is a good man stuff All right, Skanks. Let's take a quick moment and think Ridge wallet for supporting the show Obviously the best wallets in the game Their power bank is my favorite thing that I own And if I include my son in this I'd rather a power bank think and charge three different Fones at once and hang out with a 13-year-old. That's just he's still but he's still in your top three below five, right? Top five. Yeah, I'm quite five. Okay. That's cool. That's right. You just get you. It's right. You recently got a sauna That is Not the man of the three The basement gym is back open. 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Um, I thought gimmick was like a new ride chair service or something. I'm like, I was like, I was like, I was a fucking don't. I would make sure like you never contact a leader number. He was like, cool. And he's not being weird at all. He's going like a horse. Like he was like, yeah, say no more. And I believe he's never going to do anything with that number. Apparently, he's a terrible driver. Heidi was like, stop and go the whole time. Just like stop and go. So her and Mike Lawrence are now nauseous. And they're in the backseat together. I don't know if they're backseat or what was front. Yeah. Yeah. Are Mike and Heidi being driven like ride share? Are they like ones in the front ones in the back? I assume Mike's probably in the front freaking out. Yeah. And Heidi was left alone in the back. Yeah. I'm sure he did pick up Mike first and so I'm assuming which if I'm Heidi, I want to be in the back. You don't want to front seat is. I'd love to know what the seat is. Yeah. Me too, because I feel like Heidi might have been in the front tax game. Right now. Right now. It feels to me like Lawrence might be like just getting the front seat guy. Like just. Yeah. But also might not have known that we were giving him. I don't know if I told him it was an intern. I might have said we might have all just gotten the back, assuming it was a driver. Yeah. In a in a white acura. That's a nice acura. No, I'm not arguing that but I had a clean tear. It just got detailed. That's cool. But still you seem like what a ride share car. No, I wouldn't have given them an undetailed acura. Well, that's cool. Yes. Nice. Yeah. Great. Wouldn't do that. Probably got you four stars. They were pointing to me. Yeah. Did I get reported in the game again? Like it doesn't smell fresh in the back seat. So did any of the gimmick app is so fine, dude, right? You're just gimmick. Just gimmick. That's what it was. It was because you're it was connecting you to your driver. It'll be there in four and a half hours. Your number 73. Yeah. Right. Sure. It's one dude. Trying to find a closer ride for you, but it's just gimmick. gimmick app. It's just you push the app and it just dials his number. I just want Alex go over to the the peak hole stair through it, make a weird face and come back. So something's happening outside that door. Oh, Alex, what happened? I thought I heard a light knock and was hoping it was the coffee, but it was nobody. Mike's not answering. No, Mike, he's on his way. But it's so close. He'll be here soon. Guys, I was at the Starbucks last night. I came to the room. I know the exact route. It's quick. It's pretty quick. Two minutes, three minutes. Yep. Talks. Three minutes. So he's on his way. So he should be here three minutes. All right. Start the little clock at the bottom right now. So yeah, find out from gimmick what the seating arrangement was. Now, look, the reality is everyone's whiffing fucking a G Mike came in hot at Saraphina. Oh, yeah. Saraphina was supposed to what she was going to drive you guys here. Oh, yeah. Why isn't Saraphina here? Everybody made drunk plans. It's not even that she was going to drive. It's the fact that I was like, you don't have to. You don't work for the show. I'm going no matter what. 9 a.m. I'll see you 9 a.m. And like, double down at the literally the last thing said was like, see you in the morning and see you 9 a.m. So they're like, all right, great. And then that's such a great drunk promises. Oh, man, forget you. I'm already there, buddy. Just dude, there's a hot yoga class at 7 a.m. I'm going to be in. So if it's a matter of Europe in time, I know myself. Hey, Mike, I'm gonna. Saraphina would pick up when she drinks like a cute little candle. A little adorable hiccup. Yeah. It's just, it's just feeling good. And I don't feel good. So here. And as I'm kind of retelling what happened with gimmick, maybe Heidi's being a little bit like, all right, you know, sensitive or like dramatic. I have no idea. But she actually texts you to complain about the ride. She told my girlfriend. She sent a maniac looking person to drive a pretty lady very far. Yeah, she was terrifying. Forever drove four others in the car. And then she looks over for Salisick. Well, she's like, I know who Mike Lawrence is. And he's over there like, you know, like one of counting his fingers over and over one tooth missing like figurines. He's not stop counting his fingers over and over again. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, three, two, three, two, three, two, three. Oh, she's like, oh, I'll get Mike. He'll make me feel more comfortable. Oh, God. I was like, Mike, you sticking around. He's like, yeah, I'm gonna stick around for the second show. I'm like, you're blackjack. You want to go play some blackjack? Count some cards. Wait. Hey, rainman. Yeah. You want to come to me here? He's so funny, dude. Mike, that story where's a perfect show for Mike Lawrence because it's all setups. So he can just do what he does, which is just wait for the wait. He's a different kind of like you. He just keeps going. He's really good, dude. He's great. He's also like, I remember I'll talk about it here. Like Mike was like, I think steering clear of us for a few years. I think that the Trump era and the M2 shit. There's a few guys. I think Mike was one of the guys that was kind of like, I'm not going to really fuck with those. You guys never like outwardly anything. No, never. No, no, no, no. I think he just was like for my career. Sure. I'm like, but I think the roast. He got that backlash. And I think he went, I think he went, you know, fuck the people that I'm like trying to impress. Backslash on that roast that it was just like, what am I even fucking doing? I think that was a moment that he went, you know, and because he reached out to me to come to destroy wars and skanks specifically. That's great. I mean, look, I'm sure that yeah, after that happened to him, he was like, wait a minute. I spend my whole time. No, like, you know, panthering these fucking cons and then all of a sudden they get, oh, a little fucking wishy washy about me because a picture came out. That's fucking ridiculous. I wish you would, I wish you would wish you wash your clothes. You know, fucking dance. Jesus Christ, Mike, wish you watch your clothes. That's so funny. I didn't fucking glamorous Heidi in a car. That's what I was saying. I mean, where does she sit in the trunk? They do. It should have been a seatless van. Yeah. Her life should never dial down to that being the situation. You're as you, by the way, as you compare to the JJ Romero situation, I do understand where I fucked up. Yeah. I would have sent Heidi a car like a new normal. And then had, you know, his name drive. So, but apparently he was like, stop and go. So her and Lawrence are getting nauseous the whole time. And then the other, I guess, egregious thing was he was playing. This doesn't seem that bad. But when it's such a long ride, you have to have some consideration. He's playing like weird, like obscure skater punk from like 2012, I guess. I heard it was like Wigorap. Wigorap. Can you ask him, let me know the music, anything when he was playing at the seating arrangement. Yeah. I got a speaker in here. We can't do that. Please. Can we just on Monday, as to see like whatever app it is, because if you ask him the music, he's going to pick the cool songs or the songs he likes. The only problem is this is coming back a week after. Okay. It's going to be a weird thing to do on Monday show. Now ask him what he was listening to, like send some tracks or something. So I want to know what we listen to in the car. And if he smelt the seatbelt after how do you smell so good? Respond about the seating arrangement. He isn't a job. Oh, no. And as you join us, you also stopped at Krispy Cream. Cool. I told you he was staring at you. No, no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Court did. Yeah. Court did. Yeah. It couldn't be any more obvious. You stopped at Krispy. No, I did it. Yeah. Would you fucking you fucking ran passage? Grab one while you were running Starbucks for life, bitches. Did you get a job there? That's awesome. What's the hourly rate? Harrington is wearing a crispy cream hat for the people that can't say I'm that's beautiful. Well, thank you. Thank you. Oh, no, I don't want to check. I thought there's going to be other people here. So that's just going to awkwardly sit in the background. Hey, uh, Eric, did you happen to grab straws? Wow. Thank God. Jesus. God. No, thank God. I always have a bunch of straws. Yeah, but you got to mix it up, dude. You know, you don't, by the way, you don't really appreciate Harrington until you got a gimmick. Yeah. Once you get a gimmick, you're like, wow, dude. You sent Harrington in to make this more nice variety. Harrington was Harrington played clean up. We had to literally imagine a Harrington dress like that is your It's like, we just go, it's like, oh, it's like, thank God it's not gimmick hands this guy. He shows up for the Krispy Kreme donut. Hey Heidi, I'm your driver home. Yeah, this is door number two. Jesus Christ. What are we gonna do now? Oh shit, I don't mind it. She goes, well, option three must be dying and holding a son. Give her a hammer. You can kill yourself. Yeah, dude, the amount of the amount of trebs is a side. We put that poor girl through the gauntlet with yesterday. Yeah, that's one of the funniest things in America. That's one of the best visual gags ever. He's like, uh, if you get captured, you might need to kill yourself. So here, take this and get some hammer. What do I got to swallow it? That's so good. Um, yeah, so apparently he was just like playing shitty music. Where's if you have, if you have anybody in the car, anybody owned his air drumming while he was driving and like that's probably what he was stopping and going because he was doing the bass drum thing, which I've done like when you're into it. Yeah, well, I'm going to put the shitty card out with my fucking battery of piece of shit. And what's he like in form? Oh, you know, he's like, I'm in his fucking foot down. I picked him of all the interns because he seemed like he would be able to like process the situation and not read the energy really annoying on the drive. Yeah, yeah. I'm kind of shocked that he didn't have the wherewithal. They, Mike Lawrence actually asked him to please turn the music down. No, you know, he told me Lawrence told you. Oh, he's also complained. Oh, Lawrence said, well, I had heard that Heidi complained. So I said, hey, Mike, how was the ride here? And he gave me a face. And then he said, then he made seven references about comic books to compare to. He's like, he's so four. Yeah, he was when he was really pissed off. Do you remember Endgame? Yeah. Do you remember what Daniel snapped his and they checked the lock on the car door 15 times before he could walk away? He said, it really depends how you feel about white rap. It's good answer. Heidi, but how it disconnected is Heidi from hot girl music? She was like, I think it was like like skater punk music or something. I don't know. I'll say what it wasn't. Ariana. Yeah. And Lawrence asked him to turn the music down, which he did, but apparently like not enough is crazy. Yeah. And if somebody says turn the music down, you turn it down to a whisper. You almost turn it off. It will also you say what he should have said even before any of them want to listen to what do you guys want to listen to? I would say, Mike, when you got on the car, is there anything you want to listen to? No, whatever. If I could professional wrestling intros, whatever. Cool. Then when Heidi got on the car, I would say, Mike, or even before Heidi out of the car, I'd be like, I was like, I'll probably give Heidi control the radio. Heidi is the girl. Who do you want? You guys Heidi? Who do you want your asshole? Who do you want your pussy? Hey, what do you want to listen to it? Also, who do you want your mouth? So fuck Mary kill me, me, me. Fuck Mary kill Mike Lawrence, Mike Harrington or gimmick for hide from Heidi's perspective. What do you think Heidi would choose? I don't know. If I'm going to kill it from you, put yourself at Heidi's shoes for hot little fucking size sixes. What's your choices? Harrington, gimmick, all the people that were involved in her car riding yesterday, Harrington, gimmick and Mike Lawrence and Mike. I'm going to fuck not you, you're. I'm Heidi. Yeah, okay. Well, if I'm Heidi, I'm going to fuck Mike. Yeah, there's two mics. Harrington for sure. Ben gimmick. I'm going to kill and Lawrence Lawrence. I'm going to marry because he's supposed to have yeah, and plus he'll provide. Yeah, very organized house. He'll, you know, he probably won't want to fuck me all the time. Yeah, your burners are definitely always going to be turned off to check them 77 times. See, I disagree with you. I'm going really killing gimmick. That's not they're hearing her there. I might actually kill gimmick. By the way, we fuck Mary killed this. We were just doing the order of we'd fuck, but now one of them has to die. Yeah. Yeah. So if I'm Heidi, okay, and this is the truth, this is the advice I would give her as her friend. Okay, kill gimmick. We all know that kill him and kill him violently slowly, painfully. Then I would fuck Mike Lawrence, not because I want to, but because I think Harrington is the clear choice husband of the year. House husband. I'm Heidi. I'm successful. I don't need him to make any casual. He's going to worship me. He's going to worship my pussy and my feet. He's going to clean. He's going to give me babies. He's that fucking guy. You will, but you will pray at the altar of Lewis's pussy. Yeah, I'm not accurate. I'm not talking about pussy. You will want to lose his Heidi pussy. You're going to be much bigger. How much he worships Alex. Now imagine he had Heidi. Yeah, that's true. That'd be crazy, dude. He's such a good husband. Yeah. Yeah. If he had a real wife, now imagine it was Heidi. Yeah. The man will be a super husband. Yeah. This guy would really go the extra mile. Did he probably be in shape? He'd be fucking, he'd be making money. He does look great, dude. No, you look great. You're better than me. Better than so fucking fat. But I think you're a fucking blazer. I could do it too. So anyway, at the end of the night, Heidi was like, yeah, I mean, she literally said, she was like, I'll just pay for my own Uber home instead. If you want, I was like, no, Heidi, you're not paying for an Uber. We'll get you a ride. You could have had a carper ride on my face. Then, then Dom and Sarah Fina, we said, guys, you got to get a car service. You got to figure it out. Just find like, call a few. They're like, well, we call the few we couldn't get any. We found one that was online that was 400 bucks. They're like, it's kind of shady. That was like, what do you mean? They're like, we don't think it's a real website. We're like, well, we're not paying them, obviously. So then Harrington said, I'll step up. I'll do it for five hundred five hundred large five large. I'm ready to die. Now, my question is, you know, at the beginning of this, we said, gimmick, you do this for us. We will pay you. We're only paying gimmick 200. Is he still getting the 200? So you get 100. Do you want to do one? He got show for at home. And he got bad reviews. Tons of bad reviews. Yeah, do we give him the full price? We should hold it. We should hold this. You want to here? There we go. So then so Harrington, talk just for a sec. You can grab a microphone too. What? So you had a drive everyone home? What was the overall tone? Were they kind of like, hold the ref? Like, fuck, this is going to be it's going to be another gimmick. Okay. CD arrangement was me driving, obviously. Mike Lawrence shotgun. Heidi behind me. And then gimmick. Do we can do this a lot? Yeah, like a dog. What a fucking tongue out of fresh air. Sun glass is still on. Making sure she said it was something about the MSG show. She wanted her hair to look blown out. But no, no, no. So that was the arrangement. Honestly, very little music. I did notice that gimmicks Bluetooth was still connected, playing God awful white rap. Like, at like one volume, you know what I mean? Like, so low none of us could hear it. We just talked over the entire literally had a nice two and a half hour long conversation all the way back to Times Square. About what? I mean, Mike talked about like being dads and comic book movies and stuff. Yeah, I knew that was going to be the second thing. Yeah. Heidi's pussy dried up until it started going in, so I started inverting it. So no, at one point, she did comment that it was very, it was like nice to hear two guys just talking about being dads. And that was very attractive. Yeah. So it's staring at me and jerking up. Yeah. Instead of going like, come on, just touch it. Yeah. Can you just touch your kiss it for a second? Do you ask going to call you daddy? No. I would have. I did. I did awkwardly have a situation with Alex's best friend the other day. Like, just really? Falling around on all floors with cleavage showing, making eye contact, saying the word's daddy. Yeah. I was like, yo, what is going on? Yeah. This is, this is, this should not be in my home. Who is it? It should. He met her. Who's you? You met her. You've met her. Oh, Matt. Is it nice? Yeah. Oh, oh, you got met her. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Who the fuck are we talking about? You would know. If she said the name, you wouldn't know it. It's just a name for people to look up and answer right now. It's a girl. You banged. I did bang her back in the day, right? Yeah. She showed up to the gas digital tapings in New York on roller blades. Oh, yeah. She's like a little much. Oh, yeah. I don't remember that. I remember I bang her once and then we hooked up like another time and I was like, she was a little. She's a little much. What's the context of her crawling around the floor, Mike? She's a little much. Yeah. We walk in her. We get that context. Yeah. So she's not outside broken yet. Yeah. That's awesome. They pee padder right now. Great friends. You have Alex. Your friends come over and they try to fuck parents. Yeah. That's weird. That's awesome. My wife's friends never try to fuck me. No one's trying to fuck me. The best. Yes. Oh, Heidi smells so good, dude. Did you know what I mean? Like even just, do you know she yesterday? So after the first show, she goes, I'm going to go up to the room and change. Right? And I was like, okay. You said what started walking with her. Yeah. I was like, all right. Well, obviously you need protection. It's a curious. Yeah. I'm cool with that. Let's go. So the second show started and then she comes out with cigars. I'll figure she's changing into like sweatpants. Like she came out and I go, what is that your, that's it? That's all you have. A less bold, but somehow sexier. Sexier outfit. Because I would I was hoping, I mean, look, even in a pleasure wear, she would still look really good. I was good. I was like, oh, maybe she'll come down and like some nice leggings in a tube top. Yeah. Just like a fly girl. Yeah. Yeah. Like she's going to us shop. Maybe she'll have like a altered top. So we're so men in our 40s. I really do. Maybe she'll be like, maybe she'll be like, maybe she's like the top roll. Yeah. A little bit. She's like, hang hanging out a little bit. Yeah. Whale tail. Yeah. Yeah. Well, she'll be back down in like an equally, you know, like classy, beautiful outfit. Yeah. Well, classy. All right. Look for us. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Never take her out to a, I don't know if the, the red leather flames tit dress is a, is in the classy. So let me say that she's so put together that she could dress something that provocatively and it's still kind of classy. Yeah. Still not, you're right. If that was on like a trashy girl, yes, it would be, it would not be classy. She's refined. Yeah. Like she's like, you know, her whole thing, like she, like her fucking ribs have individual abs on them. It's fucking crazy. She's built. Like, yeah, it's like that. Yeah. She stacked. Let's kill her. Yeah. She brings the goods. Let's kill her. She's like Vanessa Angel, like whatever the thing is like, it almost she looks like she should be behind like a plexiglass case. Yes. I'm devastated. You just, you referenced the girl from Weird Science and made it the TV show one. Oh, well, that's the one that I, that was the one that I was attracted to Kelly LeBrock dude. But as Angel was also the hot chick, she was the woman in Kingpin. Yep. Kingpin. I loved her in Kingpin. I love Kingpin. I think Kingpin as a kid. Now, it doesn't hold up as much as it did. It's pretty great. It's good. It's pretty good. You never saw Kingpin. No, I know. That's a good one with the kids. Still, Bill Murray, so funny, no, the performances are great. Nick Tutoro is incredible. I'm into different movies. You're doing on the Bowsky. I'm doing on the Bowsky. Another bowling movie. I like Big Lebowski. Nick Tutoro. I like Big Lebowski. Guys, I'm going to kill myself right now. I saw Nick, I met Nick Tutoro at WrestleMania 11 because he was from NYPD Blue. Yeah. And he's the most important tutorial to me. Nick Tutoro. And Nick Tutoro at WrestleMania 11 Festival and he's been the most important tutorial in my life since. Yeah. No, it's always John for me. That is true. It's a good point. John's the most important to Toro. Yeah. Kingpin is Woody Harrelson. Yes. I was blending both. You know another tutorial. Tony's soprano sister is a tutorial. That Tony's soprano sister. My sister reminds me of Tony's soprano sister, but not until like when you know her for like another season, she comes back and she's fucking. That is who my sister is. Really? Even more bad shit when she comes back. Fucking lunatic. Yeah. Like a real problem. She's literally currently texting me that she's like, hey, just so you know, I used four ice cubes just in case that's a problem because she's still money for me. And I was like, Jenny, when you dog sit, you can't take money. She's like, if I need gas and there's money on the table, I'm going to take it. What the fuck? That is a quote. That's fucking crazy quote. So now she just texted me just now, hey, I had four ice cubes just in case you need to know. Oh, passive aggressive. Crazy. Holy shit. You should break the microphone in your hand and go pacing the hallway and making everybody's problem while you yell at her on the phone. That's what I would handle that right there. Hey, you see no. I took four of you. That's not, bro. You just told me you're going to rob me whenever you come up. You want my help? I will rob you. Yeah. And you will accept it. Yes. Unapologetically, dude. Sure. Unapologetically. Unapologetically. Yes. Yeah. I didn't even slightly exaggerate a word in that interaction. Has it? Have you changed your behavior now? Are you not leaving cash out on the table or like hiding valuable? Well, I did like three times. I would leave cash out to see if she would take it, but the third time I was like, I'm getting killed here. I stopped doing this. Yeah. I'm dumb. Yeah. I'm dumb. I'm stalks. Yeah, it goes, it goes. All right. She stole the 20. Let's see if she could live on a Honda. Yeah. Maybe this will be too much for her ethics. Okay. You know what? If I leave out an envelope of several hundred, she's bound to not take all of this. Do you have it on the string? She always takes notes. She watches her take it. She's like, today she counted the bills. He's like looking at it like Jane good on it several times staring today. She huffed and puffed. You see her in there? You're filming. You're seeing they're trying to like change the weight with something like an Indiana Joe. Yeah. She's like, four pieces of paper towels, she's like, she goes, the weight of these four paper towels is equal to the weight of $700 cash. Dude, that she's taking your money is hilarious. I think she's, if I need, if I need gas, let me guess, she always needs gas. She always needs gas. If I need gas, I'm taking that money. And unlucky for you. I always. Yeah. I'm lucky for you. I don't drive a Flintstone's bar. So I need gas. We don't get to fill the thing up. I can't ever do things. Get gas in a two bubble gum. Oh my god. She goes, well, what do you want me to do? Because I can only fill in, I can only fill my tank as much as you leave on your counter. By the way, she started leaving out more money. I won't steal so much. Is she walking the dog with the car? Like is she hot? Is she driving the car? And she's got the leash out the window. And she's like, Hey, man, how are you supposed to walk this dog if I don't have gas in this fucking car? It's. Dude, I love you. She's just running. I mean, lawn mowers say gasoline, cars say gas. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I bought her the car, man, you should have bought her a gas refinement, too. Yeah. I should have got her the fucking thing that eats garbage for gas from back in the future. Isn't it struggle living like having, it's like having another child, right? No, it's like having a really fucking retarded sister. Retarded sister. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, look, I love my sister. I really do. She's, she's, she's a really great person. She's just, she's just struggles and then, and I've been there before. I've been struggling like it's, when you talk to this, you have a story about Kurt Matsker stealing the money out of your big job. Sure. I never, I don't really hold Kurt like under over the fire that much for that. Right. It's chemically imbalanced. Well, it's not even just that you're, when you're, yeah. Absolutely. That's been touched by God. What are you doing? Running down for everything? When you're broke, you make crazy decisions. Like I've fucking, I've like pinched my friends bags of weed in times of need. Sure. I never stole money from a friend, but like, I, like I've said this before. Like, even to this day, you haven't paid some of your gambling debts. I was funny because I was going to give you two $500 chips because I didn't feel like going to get them back. I was going to make it your problem. You go the oil. You could hear. Could you cash this in? Yeah. Yeah. Can you solve it? Yeah, but fucking. I don't know. It's fucking just insane. Uh, I don't know what I was going to say. Kurt, okay. Um, no, like, when you're broke and you're like, fuck, you just do like stupid, desperate shit. Yep. That you wouldn't do when you're not broke. Sure. So I'm empathetic to it. But it's like, go do it to a stranger. Well, don't do a stranger. I'll be your driver. Get away, driver. Let's go. Do it to a stranger, but the boldness of just being like, yeah, bro, do not leave money out or it is gone. Yeah. Yeah. It's fucking crazy to say. But it's just said of that. Like, it's, I don't even care. Like, also, can I borrow $300? Yeah. It will be like, it's just like little things, I'm like, hey, if you order a movie, like, I don't care if it's a $4 movie, a $20 movie on Amazon, just like, I'm going to order some, I'm spending your money. So just out of, it's just a pure thing out of respect. Yeah. Don't buy the movie for $19.99. Don't rent it for $2.99. But even if you're renting it for $2.99, is that anything to your movie? Yeah. No, it's buy for $25 or rent for $20. Well, yeah, yeah, $12. They jack it up. Yeah. I buy everything now. I never rent. Well, what would if you don't like it? I figure at one point, somebody will want to watch it again. And I've got, I've been got if we rented a second time ever. Got it. So I mean, I wouldn't say 90% of the movies that I get, I buy and send it. I rent because at this point now, it's all, it's going to be on some streaming platform moments. I mean, obsession is already just on peacock. Is it? Oh, it is. I haven't seen it for weeks. It's been on Jeff. But also number one movie, it's the number one independent movie of all time. It's great. Yeah. Money, what? Blair Witch. Paranormal activity. It's like $500 million for like a $2 million movie. That's the way you two were good for him. Good for them. I'll check that out. But yeah, no, I'm not, I'm not buying movies. And if you do buy like my kids, oh, dad, we want to watch this. Well, everything's on streaming, but it's on Amazon. All right. But you're not, you like, you got to let me know $399, you're, let me know. Let me know. Yeah. It's my, it's, it's my money. If you take $399 pop up on my phone and like motherfucker, dude, if you take $1 for me, I want to know that my money is being taken from me. I'm going to say yes every time. If you say, Hey, can I order this movie 100% of the time, I say yes. Yeah. I will never say no. Yeah. Yeah. But it drives me out of my mind. I don't want that. I don't want that movie on my television. Yeah. Godfather three. You can't rent. Yeah. Godfather three. You can't rent. Godfather three. You can't rent. I won't accept that on my bill. Okay. Let's, uh, we're about an hour and let's do some plugs right quick. I'm fucking flooring. Is that one? Is that? Um, we need for Jim flooring to come. It was delayed. It was supposed to be the last night. It's infuriating. What? Jim flooring team. Alex. You just got rehired because I fired you in my mind at the beginning of this episode. That was a solid bit. My Jim flooring team has that kind one. That was a good one. That was a really good one. Um, Jay, you know, first, oh, sure. Big Jay comedy.com for all my dates, um, this is a couple of weeks from now, right? So I probably got Royal Oak Michigan may be coming up or I just did it. it. Uh, Albany, New York all over the place, never ends every weekend. I am gone in a city near you coming very, very soon. Big jcomby.com greatest yet for a live tour. Listen to the bonfire. Uh, me and Bobby Kelly, faction talk. Series X and one or three and story wars right here on gas, did you? Oh, yeah, Steve. Um, well, if you're hearing this right now, we're about a week and a half away from football. So get ready for your fantasy line ups. Have me do your draft order for your cameo. Hit me up. I'll take care of it with the I don't mind. I'll get him done at less than a day. So the turn around is quick. And also, I'll be on the road. This fall, Steve rent is easy. Comfort tickets. I'm adding dates, hilarities, Lahoya, a couple other ones. So check the website for those dates. All the Eagles were hurt. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I told you that that linebacker's fucking hurt. Everyone's hurt. That's a preseason comes to me on the road, guys, Lewis of Skanks.com. I'm back on the road in September, Fort Loderdale, Florida, September 11th and 12th after that, I'll be in Portland, Maine at the Empire Comedy Club, September 18th, 19th, the weekend, uh, Belmore, New York, Rochester, New York, Vancouver for the first time, Portland, Oregon and more. I'm going to my website, Lewis of Skanks.com, the Rattling, this tour coming somewhere going somewhere finishing up the year strong, uh, subscribe to guys digital. If you love the show, we do a bonus Friday night hang every Friday night, just for the subscribers. So you get the three of us just talking shit kind of like this. This is the vibe of the Friday night hang. Um, so go subscribe to guys. Digital use the promo code LOS, save a couple bucks a month. We also do an uncensored ad free version of the show with pre-release. You get it on Tuesday nights instead of having to wait for YouTube or anywhere else. And there's over 900 episodes in the On-demand library, all the old episodes that we're really trying to hide from the public because we said all the shit you're not supposed to say, you can get them. You could ruin us. Go to us digital.com. Go grab them. Use that promo code LOS and, uh, yeah, save and also grab my book knives and spoons. Check out all the other pods that I do. You want to ruin us? Subscribe to get a suggestion. That's it. It's the easiest way. Easiest way to ruin our lives. Go subscribe. Get all of it. Find out all the things we've done and said. Find out who the fuck we are. Um, did anybody win gambling last night? No, but you know, no one, no one really took a took a big full 160. I lost. And that's okay. Harriot in one. Did you lose it on roulette, though? No, I made my own crap. Oh, crap. Nice. There you go. Remember one time I Robbie Bernstein, this casino specifically Robbie Bernstein was like, dude, they let in juice. He's like, give me 500 bucks. He was like, we'll go turn it into $5,000. I know crap. And I was like, all right, cool. I never played crap in my entire life. It's the only time I ever played crap. I gave him my $500. This is like this is what I'm like for so early at headlining here, I'm making maybe 1500 bucks for the weekend. Yes, the third of your page. Yes, I give him $500. And uh, something happened. He rolled like four times. All the money was gone. Yep. That was like my system. He did my system of me rolling the dice. Yeah, with your money. It's a great system. Oh, it's worked out for me in the past. Well, at least I'm not down. Normally I usually give some money back, but this time. So funny, he goes, he's always goes, I'm up and crap. So always because I never gamble with my money. Yeah. Yeah. I remember in Atlantic City as a kid. And then we did it like Cornels too. They would have that push the quarter machine, but you wouldn't get tokens. It was actual gambling. So when I was like seven, I would actually gamble. You put the quarters in the quarter, the actual quarters would drop down. You got cash. Yeah, cash. But what is the fucking game of it? I don't understand. You have to aim it. So there's a line of the back line. So once the quarter lands flat, it creates one thing pushes it. It pushes that quarter into the other quarters and the quarters are on the edge. So if you put one in you like five might fall off the edge because of the thing and then you made a dollar 25. Yeah. But I mean, as a kid, like a dollar 25, you like Rockland, Rockland County fair. Like they would have that. They didn't give a fuck. Yep. It was awesome. This is the time for those festivals. Like it's summer fest. Like I would I was driving with Fenway here yesterday. We passed one on the way here. I'm like, if if in doubt, if things get boring, go to one of those things. Oh, dude, ride the zipper when my daughter was a little used to go up and down all along. Like we go to all of them. We go to the one in the area like a miniola free port. And then we were in front of it. And then yeah, right down the line, I would just keep going. Yeah, Eisenhower Park would have Baldwin just keeps moving down and we go like a couple weekends in a row. I'll always do a roundup. I'll always doing outside roundup. I will. I will always do the the circle with the music really loud. Who would I will not the zipper? I will not do. I will. I used to do anything upside down. No, and like death defying at a. I know the roundup is technically death defying. But I've pictured in my mind all the things and go wrong with a roundup. And I think I pull through dude. Even at sketch. No, your roundup dude comes off that track. So it's rolling down the street. I think I'm alright. You think you're right. The one thing. I guess you are really protect even if it flips over on its head. You're just upside down. Yeah. Well, you'd flip because you're not actually. You're not strapped in really. So, yeah, you'd be dead. I don't like the grab a tron. I don't like the spinning around. I don't like the grab a tron because there's never been enough G force produced inside to really keep it. So I'm just getting a wedgie. Everyone else is like upside down like Spider-Man. And I'm just It looks like I'm getting wedgie in a locker like I'm okay. So like I'm sliding down. Yeah, my feet are going down to the floor even though it dropped out. Oh, Fuck, I hate those things. Yeah. No, I round up man. I don't do anything that spins in circles. Fucking Holtzman on the grab a tron last year. It's gangfest. It's probably one of the funniest videos I've ever. That's around. Oh, that's a roundup. Yeah, grab a tron. It looks like it looks like comedy. I think yeah, but still but the grabs also just goes. Joe Rogan designed his comedy club after the grab a tron. Yeah, what you got the roundup that go and then it starts going like that. Well, the round is what we have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I thought that was a grab a tron. But I mean, I'm not anything. I can't even go on the teacups. Like if you go to like I would make nothing that's sitting Anything that spins. I'm just gonna get nauseous. I love it. Well, here's thing. I love it because like all of it I have to get past that first even anything rollercoaster anything for the first the first thing of it. I go like I was gonna close eyes. But once I catch like the rhythm of it. I just think it's so fun. I get on a rollercoaster. The roundup goes like this when it before It even starts going up. I'm going like and I'm like just focus on like something in the middle just like focus on me And then once I just get my bearings. I love it. I hate rollercoasters. I go on them because my kids like them But when I get on them, I'm already pissed. So like riding with this going up and I'm like going down and it does another twist I'm like, oh another fucking day. I'm just complaining the whole time. Do you do that? Do you do that fitting your act? We told them pockets before But is that in your act where you're talking about Superman ride? No, it's Superman ride But like for your kids is capitated on a ride like you love to say we use something like finish the ride and I'm like We're putting in your act right now. It's funny. You should gentlemen. Let's take a quick moment and talk about GLD the best in the game. 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I went into the slingshot with my son, the boardwalk. - I've never done a slingshot. - Dude, I hate it. My son loves like throw rides and shit and like, I can't. - They try to make, they try to make Ferris wheel scary now. They have the Ferris wheels that like, with the inner ring that you can, like once it goes around, it will like slide down to another level and like, this and that. - Stop. - Yeah, I don't know if I can do that. - The Ferris wheel's supposed to be like, - I'm supposed to be fingering it on the job. - Yeah, I don't want to be jolted. - Jerked around the fucking asshole. - What they try to do with rides, it's crazy. And there are, you think they wouldn't make scarier, like, possibility rides when yearly. I mean, if you look, non-stop failures and deaths on rides at the most famous parks and everything. - Weekly, yeah. - Every year. So I was watching one. I saw a video of one roller coaster the other day. It looks like it's a two person thing. And like, you're like, off the track. The track's like under the people or something. - It's okay. - You're standing. - No, but it's like, oh, under you, but like, your cart is like off the track. - Oh, yeah. - But you're just over. - Skye. - Yeah. - Oh yeah, like on the side of a building, yeah. - You're spending it on the side of it. - It's fucking cool. - They have it in Vegas. The same thing. On the space. - The strat has that. - The strat. - They shut it down, I think, though. - The last one, when I was there with James a couple of years ago, it was open. So they have, on top of the strat, they have, you know, the one they do at Disney, they'll look like, well then. - Yeah. - Keep stroking it. - Up there, they have a jerk at Tori, but you can bring your kids to. - And everybody's jerks. Everyone just stands there and kind of jacks. - You've never been on Jerk Thunder? - Yeah. - It's a scariest ride. Dude, so they have a few. This is the one on top of the strat. I didn't do it. There was no edge. - No, James is like, come on. I was like, no. - Oh, yeah, it just goes and his hands on the edge. - Tipped down. - Yes, it tipped down and hangs on the edge. Like your rollercoaster broke and you're gonna die. - Yep. - This is it. - It doesn't look like if you're rollercoaster. - Don't wait. I hate it. Even watching it on a television. - Looking if you're in the front, you're already off the ledge. - Dude, you got to have a fatty to the back. - Dude, watch what he's makes my fucking leg. - It's my legs quiver. - I'm sweating. I'm, my hands are sweating watching this. I hate it. Just watching it on television. - That's how I used to feel about the guys. One of the Russian guys would just like run out on a fucking crane and then be like, and then just like, do you like one hand? - Yeah. - Dude, the fucking is wrong. The best is that, I mean, it's just the worst, but that one, we watched it a long time ago on this show, I believe, but the guy that was doing that, that game, and he hung off the side of the building. And it's like, it just got him to like, you know, it's like with anything, you know, you could bench press a certain weight one time like this. - Yep. - When you get to 15, you might be going like, you know, and like, he was just at that. So he was doing all kinds of like parkour stuff and then he's hanging on the thing, hanging by one arm, and then he's going to be like, all right, let's get out of here. And he goes, he's like, (laughs) and he's like, it's out of the face so fast that you're like, and you're dead for just. - That's quick, it's wild. - I hate it. So, uh, this is the guy. - Oh yeah. - Shardy's there now. - It's so fast. How it happens, like when he just finally happens, it's like, it's all right, here we go. - Look at my flexibility. Ooh, pull up. - Oh, dude, no problem at all. - I need it, dude. - Yep. - You went to failure, dude. He's the, he's the like mentor technique. - Hold on, hold on. - Oh, no. - He's taking turns himself out. - Woo Young, Younging. - Woo Young forever, Younging. - Yeah. (laughing) - That's what Woo Young stands for. - Forever Younging. - Yeah, Woo Young. - Look at the Woo Young forever, Younging. - Oh man. - But you see what an asshole, you're like, he goes, all right, I'm good for three pull up, so I'm just gonna do two. - Yep. - And then I'll pull myself. - And he has no parachute, right? That's just all the way down. - Oh, this guy died. - He's dead. - He did. - And he had plenty of time to think about it. - That's a far fall. - Well, he went. See, if you can find like the roller coaster from time to time where he's like, one person's like, off the side of it though, and it was long. - On top of the strap, they also have, it's the one where it drops, you know, I like Disney. - Free fall. - Devils drop, but at all. - Yeah, whatever they do. - How it goes, go straight up and just drops. - Yeah. - Terror Terror is the best one that exists. It's the best one. The thing opens, have you been on Terror Terror? - Yes. - Okay, the door opens and you're up, you don't even realize you're already so high up, it's pretty cool to be on Terror Terror. But this one is just on top of the strap, it's kind of a shitty version of that. It's not like, whatever Disney you feel like, "Oh, this is good, engineered shit." You know, it's the one on top of the strap. - It's kind of nuts. - It's just kind of rickety. - You guys do casinos in gaming. Like, I don't know, like, have you really, like, did you hire the right guys to build a fucking death-defying attraction to the top of your casino? - I went with James, and he loves it dude. And I remember, I'm sitting there like this, and I'm already terrified because we're on top of the strap, which is the tallest building in Vegas. So I'm already just terrified. And then it starts to move up, right? And I immediately, like, all my, James is cackling laughing at me. Everyone, he's getting people to like, he's like, look at my fucking dead, he's a fag. Everyone's laughing at me dude. We haven't even gone up. We literally, we sat, and when it went, it went like three feet, just to get ready to go up and do it. And I'm like, "Gee-ee-ee-ee." Oh, I hear that. - Do you remember when we did that stupid thing? - We had to say, yeah. - Same exact time, me and Steve did for Preston and Steve, showing Philly. We did, uh, answer questions. - Like a quiz show thing, while we were on-- - Strap and freefall. - Strap to a freefall. - I hear when it hits me. And it really would be like, you know, it's like-- - Billy Joe Armstrong. (laughing) - It just dropped us, yeah. (laughing) - It just kept dropping us, dude. It was so funny. And then we went into the interview, and they were like, showing, they were like, "You know what I'm going to do?" - It just dropped from the general. - What wasn't the special night, did it do? I'm gonna do that, sir! - It's like, it was on us. (laughing) - I'm a Ryan. (laughing) - Glenn Close was a revolution! - Dude, I won't, you know the palms, they have that glass. I won't even go on, like, I do this when I go all the way. I've got a little-- - Oh, I-- - You know, I won't go step back. - I never, I tell you, it's the strangest thing where the first time I ever felt like your body and your brain, like-- - Disconnected. - Disconnected. - I'm not doing the same thing. It was, uh, Austin, Texas, when we did, uh, when I was on Oddball tour, we did Austin. And they do a, it's a, it's like an F1 racetrack they have down there, some of that, but it's a racetrack, for sure, and we did it, we did the Oddball there. And they have a lookout. When you're backstage, it's one, it's an elevator, it's one stop. - Yup. - It's all up to this thing, which is a huge platform. Probably four times the size of this room is like a concrete platform up there. - But it's high up in the sky. - Crazy high, but it's concrete, halfway out, and then it becomes, you know, obviously crazy thick, but see through glass. And I was like, from the get go, I was like, oh, I want to go look at it. I want to go up there and check it out. So I went up there. Again, I'm afraid of falling. I'm not afraid of heights necessarily. So I was like, I'm five years safe. I'm not afraid of it, really. And I walked to the edge, where the glass, as soon as the glass started, I mean, my mind wasn't even like thinking anything other than I want to go see what it looks like. And when I got to the thing, my feet, fucking stopped at the, they was crazy. I almost fell for it because my upper body was still going. My legs were like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Where are you going? - A few minutes later, I was able to just, you know, he's like, you kind of like touch it. And then I was like, by the end of it, we were like laying on it and like looking down. But that first thing, I was like, my body was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. That does not look safe. My legs were just, and my brain was still like, what are you doing? - Yeah, I know shit breaks, dude. - Yeah. - Like shit breaks every day. - And it could be, are you the guy? Are you the guy? Are you the guy? - And no one's going to feel bad for you. They're like, oh, he fell through the fire. - It's going to be a story for, even with your friends and family, your wife is going to have her first laugh within a week. - If I fell through the palms glass, I would expect the two of you to be the first thing you talked about on-- - Oh, my God. - Show us. - Show us. - Yeah, yeah. - Blastings, no doubt. - Yeah, how dummy was for doing it? - Yeah, how soon after you died, do you think your wife has her first like hearty laugh? - Oh. And we've talked about this. There's no more joy after I'm dead. - No more joy. - No, no, there's no more. We're actually going to Paris because I told her, after I die, you're not allowed to go to any places that we haven't been together. I don't want you having any more new experiences. - Yeah. - So let's go to all the places that you want to go to after I'm dead so that we can, you could still go to them like Paris and stuff like that. So there's no new joy, there's no new experience, no new laughter. There's only black veil, Italian style, weeping, moaning. - Oh, yeah, the Italian style is where you really throw your, I want-- - All black. - Throw yourself into the cask. I want you to want to go with me. That's the level of commitment I'm looking for. - Beautiful. - Even after death. - That is beautiful. I think Christine laughs that afternoon. I mean, she is going to be getting information from a bunch of comedians. - Yeah, and it also depends on how you die. - Yeah. - You know, if you die, like choke jerking yourself, naked, and we find, it's like, there's no way we can't laugh. We have to laugh about that. There's no way we can't. - Oh yeah, depending on how you die. - Yeah, slow, like nothing's funny about a slow cancer death. - No, or-- - If you're fucking, if you're texting on your phone, you slam to the back of a semi and fucking go through the windshield. - Like, if we hear God forbid, Lewis, that you died in a car accident, we all know it's your fault. - Oh, 100%. - And we'll know that you were responsible and that it could have been avoided. - Yeah, thank you. - And hopefully nobody else got hurt. - Yes, obviously. But the fact that you did, it's going to be funny. - Yeah. - Steve's face. - That dick might come out of his unzipped pants. - Holy shit. - Unzipped the whole fucking time. - Yum. - That's Patreon. - Blur that out. - Yeah, that's brilliant. - Blur that out. It won't be blurred out of the Patreon. - You guys want to hit the Patreon? - You guys want to hit the new Patreon up? The unblurred version. Alex, did I get back to you? - He told me the seating arrangement was Mike Lawrence in the passenger seat and hiding in the back. - Yeah, that's what I called it. What do we ask about the music? - I don't believe he's gotten back to me about the music yet. - We need a playlist. - Yum. - Please. - gimmick. ♪ Forever young, I want to be forever ♪ - Forever, you want to be. And that's how you think white rappers. - Some band Alfaville. - I'm so bummed out. My fucking gym flooring was supposed to be delivered last night, didn't come. - Flooring teams? - Gym flooring teams? - You're like, put your weights on top of me. - Oh, I hear, you put your weights right on top of me. - He's, I have a mommy if you want. Yeah, like careful, 'cause there's still some slate underneath. - Oh man, I got all this. And he's still all over my mouth. - The station's not settled yet. - You're gonna want to put in a friend's drain. - Gym flooring team, it's great. - It's a good bet. Well, we can rip it with this for a while. - You're gonna be carrying your gym flooring team? - I'm getting you kitchen gym flooring team. - Guy, it convinces you not to buy the floor from him. - You don't want to buy this one. - You don't want this one. - Now, it's no good. You can't get grip if you're wearing socks. You're gonna slide back when you come. - You're really from behind. - You're really good gym, man. - It's deep where I've been fucking gym. - It's uneven, the floor's uneven. You're gonna slide back when you give it a, when you give it a, like, you cock from behind. And then she comes and she's gonna suck it. - She's gonna suck it. (all laughing) - I was just so fucking bummed, dude. It was supposed to be here yesterday. And now the company, they're like, dude, we had you on schedule. There's probably my check. We had a, or it's security. It's a cop. We're shot, we're dead. There she is. - Cops security. - Cops security. So, what's it called? Fucking, he had now, like, they told me the company was like, we had it on the schedule to, like, do the, finish up the job today. It was like, we could probably get you in early next week. It was, now it's just like another five days of having my fucking gym torn apart. - I mean, do you go, do you like going to the gym to, like, going driving to the gym? Or do you want, rather? - No, I have a home gym. - No, I know, but, like, I have a home gym too, but I've joined the gym. I like going out now. - I don't like sharing equipment. - You don't. - I don't like, I-- - You rather do-- - You also have a family you're running from. - Yeah, but I have to get out of house, yeah. But, like, yeah, having the stuff in your house, if you want to do it is better. - I have a pretty good home gym. - I have a hack squat. I got a fucking, it's really cool. Any exercise there? I got a hack squat. - Yeah. - I got a hack dumbbells. - I got a hack couch. - Is that the lift or thing? - Watch this hack, STV. - Yeah, I'm doing some hack overhead presses today. It's pretty sick. Nobody got like a leg press. I got a pretty fucking dope home setup. And-- - Not now, you don't. - Yeah, right now. - That was literally everything-- - That's the garage on your water. - Everything is in shambles. - That's why you need gym flooring to you. You're going to need gym flooring to come. - Bye. - Are your floats fucked up? - You're going to like the way your floor feels. I guarantee it. (laughing) - Fucking, oh, it's so annoying. - I want to hear these fucking gimmicks songs so bad. - He's at work, so I'm assuming he's just not monitoring. - What if I find him? - I know, I'm curious if any of these songs are going to go fuck hidey dude. That's a good one. - I bet you would probably have similar music to taste the gimmick. - I bet we can get it all together in a couple of things. - If I'm getting in the car with hidey, and I'm just going to assume what I'm putting on Yacht Rock, something cool that like listen to. - Not 80s classics. - I'm hoping she hooks in with nostalgia. Oh my dad is a little crazy. - What I try to get into is say that something that where it's like, it's possible everyone will start kind of singing along even having the time. So I'm still, you keep-- - 90s alternative. 90s alternative is a great car ride. - It's not bad, but that's going to be background for conversation. 90s alternative is not really sing along. I try to keep it bubbly in light, especially during the daytime driving, bubbly in light if possible. - Yeah. - It's dangerous in the car. - Oh, I do, I do like straight up hardcore, like dark black golf. So if it was hidey, I'd be like, have you heard typo negative? - Yeah. - I move with Mayhem and with a guy killed the other guy and wore his bones. - I don't like specific music types when I go into a car. Even in a ride share, if you're listening to like late 70s, Indian music from like, you know, the back B sides and stuff. It's like, dude, you're in your own play. - My shazam. - My shazam is all-- - So you just lit-- - Yeah, you're like, what is this? - I've got all the stuff. - What the fuck, how dare you put this on when you have somebody in your car? - And never, you're not doing it because you're like, oh, this is a great song. I kind of want to listen to this again. It's always like, what could this per-- Who made this? - Some of us were through the syncopated clock by Lee Roy Anderson. - Oh my God. I mean, these names of things I've never heard of, but Konichiwa by Darni Bennett, good song though. Good song though. Yeah, it's like, I could do it all. That's not what I meant. - I like that song though. - It's Konichiwa. I didn't mean to hit that. Oh, there's a goodie. - I just remember that my girlfriend in high school used to call when I went down and her, her and her best friend would-- - This reminds me of sitting in a massage parlor waiting. You like, I hope no one else comes in during the waiting time. You like, you have that three minutes. You're like, all right, just make this quick, lady, because if anyone walks in, I'm ducking now, I'm out of here. - Yeah, wash your hands. - Yeah. Three minutes, take four, wash your hands. - Oh, there's nothing, there's nothing sadder than waiting for an Asian woman to be done with it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's the worst. Can I go next? - Yeah, you like-- - Did you use hands here at the time? - Yeah. - Are you done with him? - Yeah, I go. - Oh, you walk into the wrong room. - So, do you just do the wrong worries? - Yeah. - The wrong room. - You gonna rip this picture? - I'll rip it up. - Oh wait, did we get any of these songs from gimmick? - No. - What a useless fucking gimmick. - Really? - Interesting. - Really, it was time to shut them off. - I know you gotta do three sounds, but Wes Chester was on the way back to. - Can I get now? - Maybe, technically, but I was not having Mike Lawrence and Heidi sit in the car for longer so I could drop gimmick off. - So he took the ride with me to drop off, Heidi, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But I'm on the way back up. - On the way back to, yeah, yeah. - Can I get it? - It's on the way. - Yeah, kind of. - Yeah, you went this way? - I drove through Wes Chester to get here. - Yeah, it was, it was, it was not bad. Like, once I dropped him off, it was like an hour and a half to get here versus two hours from when we left home. But I'm just, I was saying like, there was no him getting off early. He was with me for the whole ride and we dropped him. I think like about three, 30 in the morning. I dropped him off. - Did you, because we lied to Getmick and we said, do you told him the truth? - No. - God, no, dude. - Lewis, when do I ever betray you? - I told him I'd betray your confidence. - I told him I had to admit that with the excuse, I was like, Oh, Harrington's actually gonna drive everyone back because he forgot something at home. - Yes. - Well, I said he forgot something at home so he needs to drive. - Why do? - I have the armor lead tonight in Hartburg, Connecticut. So I was like, I left all my MC stuff at home. What is MC stuff? - Oh no. - He believed it. - I left my, my armor's back at home. - My styrofoam hat, my, I love America jacket. Only in America. And you know, it's funny. And then you drove back to Westchester and definitely didn't stop to pick up any of your MC stuff. - No, it's just, he just said. - No, it was my cowboy boots that I have with me. - So you lied to him. - Yeah. - And then never made a stop and never explained it. - He said? - Did you get down there and you go, Oh shit, my boots are actually up there. - I get it. - No. - Oh my God, I had him the whole time. - Here he goes, he goes, he goes, All right, just dropped off Heidi and Mike. Now to go get, you know what, dude, I have him. I'm seeing it now. They are in my room. - Yeah. - I took him out of my bag, put him in the closet. I'm an idiot. - I think I put it in my mouth. - I didn't need to do anything. - Anyway, Terry, tell me what you said. - Let's go with Terry, tell me, let's skip my place. - Let's skip Queens. (laughing) - I have my MC in boots. - Yeah. - So I convinced gimmick. I said, listen man, I'm probably not gonna even make it back up to Mohican tonight. I'm gonna drop you off, go home, sleep in my own bed. - Don't even sweat it. - Very good. - I can't even, it's equidistant driving you home, driving to Queens. Let me drop you off. - I'll just drive back tomorrow. - That's a good idea. - That's good, that's good. - I think it on your face. - Now you have my car. Be careful. - Yeah. - You can trust me with a seeker. You can trust me with a car. - Yeah. - And it's full of-- - Give me the car. - That's true, I did trust gimmick with a car. - Just give me the car and a hidey. - Yeah. - God damn. Well, is it driving okay? I feel like gimmick fucked up the car by air drumming with it. - I'll sell it. - Oh, do you have a double car? - Mike was telling me that on the way back, gimmick couldn't stop offering to drive. - No, stop. (laughing) Yeah, he kept going like, hey man, I'm fully awake. I could drive if you want to rest 'cause you've got to drive back or whatever. - I could drive your back going, you just-- (laughing) - I just kept shutting him down, like absolutely not. Hidey just kept saying, you know, I would just grab my own car service. - No, she kept them saying that? - Yeah, she kept them going back up, yeah. - I think if you slowed down to a stop sign, she would have jumped out of the fog. a car. She kept saying, oh, this is so messed up. I would have paid. I said, don't worry. Lewis is paying. That's her way of being like, I really wish I was out of this car. It's going back. That's getting back to Killton in real way. So I hear you put Heidi in the car with a drink. Nobody puts Heidi in the back seat. How dare you. Nobody puts baby in my car. It's kept counting her toes. Yeah. Still 10. She had a rest for my show. How dare you use up her energy. She's the most beautiful woman that I've ever seen. I would fuck her if I wanted to fuck women. I, I'm totally attractive. That would make me fucking just shrink there. She's like, I would just paid for my own car service. Oh, yeah. We should have just paid for your own cars. I know. We tried. We tried to get a car service. There was no car services doing it. Really? Yeah. Dude, how do people get there? I think there was one that the hotel would have set up like $1,500. Oh, that's too much. But we should have got our house there. I simply wouldn't have had Heidi on the show. We had to pay that much money to get her home. I'm almost sure there's car service. Karen Fianna would have just paid for herself. Yeah. Karen Fianna. We were just told from the get go to get her own car service. Yeah. Hey, Karen, get your own car. She gets her own room, but she comes to Skagfest. She goes to like fancy hotels. Yeah. Yeah. She like gets her own room. What if she don't want to get raped by a customer? She doesn't like that fucking sketch. Oh, I guess she doesn't love immersing herself in the Skankfest way. Yeah. Okay. That's fine. Karen Fianna. Noted. Noted. Give me a cry. We got a playlist. He said I had my shit on shuffle most of the time. Shit like trope, adellic little strangers. Dirty heads. Trope, adellic is the perfect first one. Well, I don't even know what trope adellic is. I think it was a car. But I thought there's a trope adellic. You up. My four trope adellic. Oh, I hear fucking this is trope adellic. Skag. It is. I hate this. I hate it. But if this was very low, very low, just that, this I would be like, I'm out. Get me out of the car. Give me that one. Dirty heads. Dirty heads. What is he? Have it a shuffle all bad music. I've heard this. Give me two. Yeah, my kids have played this. It's just a fucking annoying wigger podhead who thinks he's being relatable to a hot chick. He's like, I know what you're like. He's like, is this a song you like to suck people off to? Would this be a song you would enjoy sucking someone off to or maybe your trope adellic. Yeah, just put this, put this seat back. It is dicks out. He's like, oh, hey, yeah, fully erect. Yeah, he goes, yeah, I don't know. I forgot my lumbar pillow. So I got to go dick out back back. Do you want the ride or not trope adellic? Oh, what if he was that? He's like, this cock's not going to suck it. What do you do about this? I know it's pretty, but I didn't pull it out for air. Thank you so much. Everybody for fucking watching. Thank you, crew for being here. Another fun fucking trip out Mohegan's son. And we'll be back where we got Friday and hang. Yeah. And then we'll be back at the stand. Yes, sir. Yeah, everybody see you next time. Peace. You've been listening to the Legion of Skanks podcast with Big J O person. Did you suck it? I think I would instinctually suck it. Big with three scenes. Yes, we fucking over Lewis. Lewis Gomez. Lewis J Gomez. You're trying to watch a re-tardraw swastika hilarious. I'm sort of known as a point going to podcasting. Being a fat gay guy is so fucking awesome. And comedian Steve Ranna Zeez. The Legion of Skanks podcast.