88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy

Direct from the Broski Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California. This is the Broski Report with your host, Brittany Broski. Wippin' that bitch like a rental. I'm dragging my nuts, come on, I did got the dirt. Did y'all know that song? Guys! Who they let back in the United Mother Tucking States of America? Me! Y'all weren't a fucking two weeks, this is bad. Oh my God! Oh my God! So much has happened in the last, what, not even 14 days, I guess it has been 14 days. Oh my sweet Lord! Y'all need to strap in for what I'm about to lay on. Okay? Have mercy. Okay. Let's start with you're looking at a woman that is one less organ than now I was two weeks ago. Okay? What the fuck? You always hear, she had her gallbladder out, she had her pancreatic removal surgery, it went great. Who the fuck is that ever about, 'cause it's, you think it's not gonna be you. You know what I mean? Oh it's now about me. Gallbladder surgery? Goofy ass surgery. What the fuck? I couldn't even have a cool one. Oh I tore my, I tore my nebiscus, I tore my, I tore my, I tore my high biscuits muscle during bar method, 'cause I was going so hard, because I'm so ripped and muscled that it just snapped. It's never that, it's, she had her gallbladder out. But the fuck, Goofy ass surgery is that, I'm humiliating, un-serious ass surgery bro, except it was very serious, it was actually kind of like really super scary. Okay. Let's talk about it I guess. So, um, you may be wondering why I got here, rewind the clock two weeks. I'm in Rome, Italy, by the way literally got back last night, so this is hot off the motherfucking press for y'all. Okay, so I'm on a family vacation. All goes well. We start in Paris and we take the Orient Express from Paris to Verona, Italy. One of the most magical experiences ever. It is an overnight train and you literally wake up in the Swiss Alps. Like it is just, it's psychotic. It's something that was a real bonding experience for me and my whole family. It was so neat and it's such a unique preservation that they've done of these train cars. I mean, from the, the 20s and 30s, they've restored them to their original artisan craftsmanship and the original, it's like the grandsons of the guys who made the cars or the ones who service them. It's spectacular. Okay. Not to nerd out, but like wow. Dining cars, bar car. It was amazing. But we get off the train in Verona, walk around for a little bit, shout out Verona, Italy, which has the, and I might be wrong. Second largest Roman amphitheater ever found besides the Colosseum, okay? Amphitheater meaning two theaters, amphi meaning two, right? Like amphibian. So second largest Roman amphitheater ever found, really, really neat. They do like opera concerts there. Now we walked around the city and literally an hour and a half and this episode is going to have some severe Roman Empire undertones, by the way. It's on, it's fresh on the mind. I also started reading Song of Achilles. Okay. I'll get back to my gallbladder in a second. Started reading Song of Achilles. What the fuck? We'll get there. Okay. But the Roman Empire weaves its way into this story. So mind you, we get out in Verona, really cute town. Old as fuck. Every city in Italy is old as fuck. And like Andy's building, was it, when can I remember 1200 A.D. What the fuck are you talking about? That's not real. Made up year. So then we take a commuter train from Verona to Rome. We have a beautiful time in Rome. It rains the whole time, but it honestly was super aesthetic, super ambient, okay? To a walking tour of Coliseum, of the Roman Forum, of all these magnificent places. I've been in Rome before probably 10 years ago. This was to see it through like adult eyes and as an appreciator of history and someone who sees history as not only a direct informer of how we behave today, but of like what could have been, oh, it was just, it was psychotic. Me and my brother were geeking, tweaking out. We do all that. It's the final day. We're supposed to leave for the airport at 5, okay? This is on Saturday morning. We're supposed to leave 5 a.m. Well, around 1 a.m., my tummy starts to rumble, okay? And not only does my tummy start to rumble, my mouth starts to water. And I said, fuck, I know what this is. So I'm nauseous. I go and puke in the bathroom and it does not stop. And usually when I have food poisoning, I have given it to myself by eating, I don't know, rice or pasta that's been left out or eating at some unsavory places. Because I, at the core of my being, want to be Anthony Bourdain, and so I get real adventurous with food. My tummy can't handle it, girl. My tummy's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, and then I, and then I spew from both ends. All that to say, I know what food poisoning feels like. I know what it sounds like in my body. I'm well acquainted with it. This was different, okay? I start puke and it does not stop. And immediately after puke, this intense pain in my upper abdomen starts. And it's something I have never experienced in my life. I mean, it felt when they say knives in your stomach, when they say riving in pain, there is not a better descriptor. There's not more apt description than what that experience was. Nothing would relieve it. I couldn't lay flat. I couldn't like use my abdominal muscles to get up. It was horrible. I couldn't lay on my side. After a while of getting up and down, up and down, the nausea wouldn't stop. My mom blessed her. She stayed behind because I was like, I'm not making it on that plane, girl. So my dad, brother and sister went home and my mom stayed behind and got me some Italian version of Gasex, popping that, I think it's called Geffer. They call that shit Geffer. I was huffing the Geffer. I'm a Geffer queen, okay? I took it, you drink it, you mix it with water, and it helped with the nausea, but the pain would not go away. I was doing Tylenol, thank God, I always traveled to Tylenol and ibuprofen. It was the only thing that could, like, it still hurt, but I could, like, drift off to sleep a little bit until the Tylenol would wear off and then I would be brought back to the suffering reality of my abdominal pain. After a while, where I was like, this is not normal, it's been 24 hours, it's not going away. The pain then spread to under my right rib cage. And it got hard to breathe. And that's when I started to freak the fuck out. I don't smoke weed, I don't smoke cigarettes, I don't do anything that involves my lungs because there is nothing scarier to me, like, very genuinely, nothing is scarier than not being able to breathe. Not being able to take a full breath, not being able to meter your breathing. And so, when I couldn't do that, I was like, absolutely fucking not. I called my doctor back in America. And luckily, with the time difference, they were up and hospital answered and they were like, here's what I recommend. He said, describe exactly where the pain is, I was like, you know, it's right under my right rib cage and it's piercing, stabbing pain. I cannot lay, I cannot do anything, I can't even take a full breath. He goes, okay, that sounds like your gall bladder. And I said, what the hell is that? Of course, I've heard of a gall bladder before, but not in my body, not all me. He was like, sounds like either your gall bladder or your pancreas, because I had web indeed myself down a hole and I had diagnosed myself as having pancreatic cancer, of course. And so, he was like, sounds like your gall bladder. I said, you sure dock, it sounds like pancreatic cancer to me. He said, no, it's probably your gall bladder. And he was like, okay, here's what I would recommend. You need to go to an English-speaking hospital nearby and you really need to get this checked out. And I was like, hospital, bro, what the fuck this can't wait until I'm back in the States. Fast forward. No, it could not wait. So what I actually was about to experience was acute colesstitis, acute colesstitis, inflammation of the gall bladder, typically caused by a gallstone blocking the cystic duct. So here's what I've come to learn about gallbladders. I'm super versed in it now. Gallstones develop on their own and they can be unproblematic until they are. what happened in my gallbladder so the gallbladder produces bile and bile sits in your stomach and helps digest the food that you eat. My gallbladder had been blocked okay that's what was causing the sharp pain and not only was there a blockage it was perforated the walls were super thick it was inflamed and necrosis had set in okay let the fuck are you talking about all of that happened we made the decision to go to the hospital because I was like this pain is it is unimaginable we went in I described on my symptoms and to the doctor the Italian doctor God bless the name of the hospital I went to and I'm about to say everyone by name because they were so fantastic this hospital was I mean truly how scary is it to be in a foreign country you don't speak the language and now you're being told you have to undergo a surgery this hospital was so lovely to me in the grand scheme of things I was like go time decision mode when it came time to you know have this conversation with the doctors but like grand scheme of things God it was terrifying but I wasn't really terrified in the moment so I go into the doctor and he's like you know what's wrong we just went to the ER and I was like food poisoning I gave myself food poisoning you know we had sushi I had tuna like it was raw and whatever he goes what what is wrong and I was like a food poisoning he goes no no no tell me what is wrong and I say okay so you have a good point I said I have abdominal pain I've been vomiting but no diarrhea sorry to get super graphic do you all care about me or not no diarrhea and he said that's a telltale sign that it's not food poisoning because it would be evacuating the premises at all costs if it was food poisoning this is actually going to be something completely different and so he goes okay lay down and I'm gonna do an abdominal exam so I lay down off the Tylenol off the Perk 30 Tylenol 500 milligram and for the first time ever I could lay flat because I was on so much Tylenol overstimulated I'm overstimulated right now by the way there's a screech of my throat I got screeches in my throat the lawn guys were doing that out there it's hot in here my waters lukewarm there's a lot going on I feel really actually overstimulated as fuck right now but I'm gonna power through and so he lays he tells me to lay down and then he doesn't have abdominal exam and when he pushed on my gallbladder oh my fucking god I have I wanted to scream and he goes we're gonna have you do an ultrasound and I'm not joking when we shut up to this hospital no one was there no one there was one other person in the waiting room and it was an old guy with his wife we were seen immediately it was the doctor and then nurses who took all my vitals and did whatever I was in an ultrasound within two hours maybe an hour and a half and she did the ultrasound and sure enough on the the monitor you can see little gallstones okay and so she goes this looks like inflammation of the gallbladder we're gonna send you to have a CT scan what the fuck bitch I've never been a sickly person okay I've never had to do the in and out of hospitals doing this doing all these scans and whatever I've never had to do it thank God I mean I've been so lucky and to me that's always been like you know oh you hit 55 and you start doing all that stuff this was very scary as like a 27-year-old relatively healthy person like I really take care of myself at least I try to this was like bitch what the so did the CT scan and what they don't tell you I see scan that they it's it was all IV it was all intravenous intravenous they put this solvent or whatever through the IV and she goes bless her because she spoke broken English she was speaking Italian she goes going to be hot and I said I just like the temperature of the room okay it's no worries I can sweat I sweat all the time she puts that shit in my oh my god it was the weirdest feeling so did the IV puts me in the CT scan where it's it's over you know it's circling around you when that shit when it the machine mixed with whatever the fuck was in my veins it burned it was hot I really I felt like such a plus because she warned me going to be hot I go ow ow like a baby and then from the fucking Mike speaker in the room she goes are you all right I said yeah she's really eating but they do that I guess so it illuminates the veins and you can see the inflammation I don't know regardless got out of the CT scan and they were like yeah it's bad they show all these images to the doctor we wait around they decide to admit me and they start administering antibiotics I'm thinking oh okay it's just inflamed give me some antibiotics I'll probably be here overnight they'll release me tomorrow we can leave the next day will girl later that night the doctor comes in the same one god bless him doctor Carlo doctor Carlo consani by the way this hospital was UPMC Salvatore Mundi International Hospital in Rome spectacular fantastic care and shout out doctor Carlo because he for real was like tell me what is wrong not you diagnosing yourself you know like I want to see it all laid out so I can properly diagnose and he did he came in and he was like here's the deal gal water super inflamed every the walls are super thick you have a blockage now we have two options we can keep you here for four or five days five days just pump you full of antibiotics and you can have the surgery when you're back in America and I go okay hold on a second the surgery what do you mean like to remove the gallstone he said no no to remove your gallbladder I say alright could she just go and point when we're talking to where that is on my body because I'm not really under theta I ask him to pull up one of those like infographic charts on the wall I'm like it's just point to where my body where it would be okay I get it now I get it now thinking so he comes and he goes that's option one option two the surgeon is gonna come in in a little bit and like most surgeons do he's gonna tell you you need surgery I would hear him out because it's a lot worse than I I initially thought and I'm like okay the surgeon comes in and he's immediately like we need to do this tomorrow he said it is super inflamed there is a blockage and I cannot put you on a plane in good conscience he goes I understand you know I know this is scary you probably want to do this in America but I really recommend you do it here I'm like okay so I'm on the phone with my dad back in the States my mom is there with me I've talked to both the doctor the surgeon and I call my American doctor and I'm like here's the status here's what they're telling me what do you recommend because ultimately you know you listen to everyone's advice but you have to weigh it all and it's your decision ultimately and that's what Dr. Carlis said he was like it's your choice it's your body you do what you think is best I called my American doctor and he goes you really need to do it there and I go okay that's the decision I guess and so the next morning early like 7 30 a.m. the surgeon and Dr. Carlisle come in and they're like well what do you think what have you decided and I go let's do it let's do it here girl I was that was probably what 7 38 I was under anesthesia by 1245 it was immediate and it's such a blessing because as I was running around doing all the tests like the CT scanner whatever the hospital was packed it was packed not an open seat in the waiting room and so what was it just feels this whole experience felt so like okay it was at the tail end of my vacation it was at a quiet day on in the hospital and they were able to operate immediately like all of these things lined up I feel so fortunate and so blessed that it was just like this is happening now it's happening now they take me in they do it laparoscopically so right now I have about five wounds on my stomach where laparoscopic surgery by the way is a marvel of modern medicine I mean I'm I am one to marvel at the in all of human innovation always and this is one of those things it's literally robot surgery they did surgery on a great they did surgery on Britney broski they did robot surgery on Britney broski it was crazy I was watching these videos of [BLANK_AUDIO] not on me because hey, I'm gonna vomit. I was watching these animated videos of what a laparoscopic gallbladder removal surgery looks like, it might as well have been magic. It looked like magic. It is amazing what they can do. By the way, this was only like, first properly characterized and described in like 1934. So this has been around less than 100 years that this was even a problem point that they know how to fix. So whatever, they do the surgery, everything goes fine. They do anesthesia via IV. Hey, what the fuck? There's nothing scarier. One minute I'm awake. Next minute, dead, dead in the fucking water. Girl, the next thing I know, I woke up and it was immediate, my teeth are, I don't know what it is. I started looking up all these symptoms of, you know, coming out of anesthesia and it can last for weeks after you go under general anesthesia where all these side effects can happen. And mine was teeth chattering. They put a breathing tube down my throat, which is so scary and I was coughing because I imagine them like ripping it out of my throat really fast. That's how it felt like my fucking head lulled back when they pulled the towel. I was coughing so bad and then I started to cry just because of course I did. And one of the sweet Italian nurses, old woman, she goes, don't cry, don't cry. And I was like, yeah, lady, I didn't want to. I'm humiliated. I'm trying. She goes, don't cry, not cry. And I was like, yeah, you're so right. And so I bossed up, stopped crying. But I was shivering so bad and I wasn't cold. I don't know what it was. And so they put a space blanket on me under my hospital blanket. And then they wheeled me back into my room. And my mom got it on video. I immediately in my hospital bed, I said, ciao. In front of all these lovely Italian people, ciao. Making fun of their language. What the fuck? Me off the Perth 30 anesthesia. Ciao, me la. Oh me la ciao, me la ciao, me la ciao, ciao. And so they will be back in and Dr. Carlos in the corner. And he's watching me and he's like, OK, all good. And I give him a thumbs up. And then he comes over and he goes, you made the absolute right decision. And I was kind of out of it still, but my mom caught it. And he goes, if this would have been 24 hours later, would have been a much different story. And I was kind of still out of it. And I was like, OK, good. That relief came over me of like that needed to happen. I'm glad that I made that decision. Well, later that day, one of the surgeons, his name was Dr. Papa Luigi shout out. Or wait, Luigi Papa. Dr. Luigi Papa. Dr. Papa comes in and he was like, oh girl, gutted, rotted, like truly necrosis. Like it was so much worse than we thought. They pulled it out and they told me that truly, like if I would have gotten on that plane, if I would have been like, just pop me full of antibiotics, put me on the plane, my gallbladder probably would have burst mid-air. Hey, that's terrifying. It would have ruptured, which is so scary, because then bile goes everywhere. And then you're dealing with sepsis and infectious. It was just horrible. So thank God I decided to have it done there. And then I was in the hospital for two more days after that, because they were administering me antibiotics via the IV. I had this drainage tube out of my gut. What the fuck? I had a sack. I had a sack. They gave me a sack. And when I had to go to bathroom now, I had to go to a sack. When I had to pee, I had to pee right after the surgery. Then one of the nurses came in and I go, pee pee. She goes, and holes her finger up to me. Leaves the room, comes back with a bed pan. And I'm not joking a doggy piss pad. Put the piss pad on the bed pan. Told me to lift my butt up, and I had peed on the pad. Pissed on a pad? Check. Pissed on a pad like a puppy. Check. What the fuck? And I have a sack. No. Every time after that, I'd have to use a bath through my head to get up out of the hospital bed with these fresh stitches. And take my little drainage sack and hold it. It was so embarrassing. And it's also just frustrating, not being mobile. You know, not being able to move how you usually do. It was just like, I was getting so frustrated. So they eventually removed my tube, my sack tube. And I didn't feel any pain after the surgery, which is such a miracle. There was just antibiotics they were giving me. And I couldn't eat normal. They were, they fed me like bread and the most bland chicken soup you've ever, ever one could imagine. Just to make sure, they did that just to make sure that, you know, things were going smoothly. I wasn't nauseous. It wasn't putting too much strain on that newly formed, you know, track that my digestive system has to go through now. It's now double hard on my liver, which kind of sucks because no alcohol for a month, no fatty foods, probably ever, 'cause my body just can't handle it. So it's, yeah, it's stuff like that that, you know, you think it won't happen to you until it does. And it's very scary. And I'm so thankful that I had my mom there and the doctors were amazing. There was a nurse named Illaria, Shada Illaria, she used to live in Ireland. That's my queen. All the nurses were so kind and so attentive. And the room was private. I had a balcony. I mean, it was just wind socialized medicine works. So they discharged us from the hospital on Wednesday morning. And I wasn't cleared to fly until Sunday. So I literally got back yesterday last night at like 8 PM. And I had a post-op appointment today where they did my blood work and whatever. And I'm fine. Everything is fine. It's just, I'm exhausted. Obviously from jet lag and from having a surgery, I have to give myself these weird, which I guess is normal after any surgery. These weird anti-blood coagulant shots and they're self-administered and I hate doing it. But I don't want blood clots, bro. So I have to do that. But honestly, guys, to make a long fucking story short, I am minus one gallbladder, plus one peri-styles cover release. Okay, so with that, let's go ahead and transition to talking about the music. Thank you so much. (screaming) So what the fuck? (screaming) Okay, so if you missed it, I had gone ahead and released a sort of cover of Adore you by Harry Styles, reimagined with the broski special on it. Okay? This has been in the works. And by this, I mean, a much larger project. Has been in the works for, I'm not joking, five years. It's been, damn, it's been five years. From when this process started to finding the sound, honing the sound and perfecting, not perfecting, but I guess mastering the craft of not blowing your voice out when you sing, how to get into the mindset of writing and co-producing and being an active participant in this creative process, because of course, because it's my project, it's me, but it's such a creative collaboration, every step of the way, and it's so much fucking fun. It's so much fun. Like I talk a lot of fucking bullshit on this podcast about everything, but like one thing that I hope rings true is my passion for the arts and my passion for music and how everything, and every fiber of my being is informed by that passion for music. It's something I feel in my soul. It's something that's in the very bones of people that get it, you know what I mean? And from everything I've talked about of being raised in the church and all of my inspirations and the sonic universe that I exist in in my mind, that I wanted to breathe life into this project. It's happened and it's here, and it's so exciting, truly, it's so overwhelmingly exciting, and also nerve-racking, right, because you share something that intimate with an audience. and you're subjecting yourself to criticism and commentary and I'm not worried about that. I have my fair share of opinions on music and I urge people to listen and develop their own opinions. That's what it's there for. But at the same time, it's there for me. I talk about this all the time of art is for the artist as much as it is for an audience, for the the lawyer as much as the creator and this to me was the process of even creating this Harry Styles cover. And of course it was a Harry Styles cover. It had to be a Harry Styles cover. Harry Styles and one direction is quite genuinely one of the pillars of who I am, why I am the way I am. My friendships, the connections I've made, both professional and personal, who I who I am on a personal social level. Treat people with kindness was my first ever tattoo. Like there are so many reasons why this had to be a Harry Styles song. And not only that, but it was also to show as a proof of concept, look what is going on up here. Like the lyrics to adore you are devastating if you think about it like that. Just like the lyrics to you are my sunshine or devastating if you think about it like that. And I knew that I wanted to flip it and make it this, you know, whimsical, ethereal rock song. And we did it and shout out Scott Hoing, holy fuck, because he completely rearranged it with me. And we just brought a new life to it. And it's so exciting because here's this song that was top of the charts. Everyone knows it. Everyone knows the words. And it's totally different. And it has a different meaning now too. That is what it makes my penis rock hard. So this whole process plus the visual 's, oh my fucking god, Paige Sarah, my creative director, Elizabeth Youngleg, my love. All of the people who worked on this project with me, the best is yet to come. Truly the best is yet to come. And this was just the fucking smorgasborg, the the aperitivo of what's to come. It had to be a cover. It had to be Harry. And I just knew that. And I'm so happy with the release. I'm so shocked. By the outpouring of love that y'all have, I mean, it's it's, I am blown away. I did not think it was going to be like that. I thought I was going to release it and people were going to do that. And other fact, you tech talker making me. Yeah, you think I haven't gone to that fucking conversation with myself? You bitch. I fully understand the optics on this. Okay. And I saw someone comment and I damn near cried. Someone commented under a video where someone said, not everyone needs to make music. Someone commented, why? You would not look at someone who's trying to paint or someone who's trying to learn how to fucking hopscotch and say, no, there's too many. We don't need you. That's not how art works. It's not how life works. Like truly anyone, anyone can buy a fucking microphone or use their iPhone microphone and make a song. Do Chi is a living example of that. Do Chi is such an inspiration. It's like that. I knew that was going to be a part of the conversation because of who I am and my background and how I came up on the internet. Completely fine. But when that's used as a weapon as to why someone shouldn't make art or someone shouldn't express themselves through art, what are you even talking about? It sounds stupid as fuck because it's not hurting you. If it annoys you, okay, don't listen to it. It's hurry. It's not for you. Art isn't for everyone, but when it connects how and when it's supposed to connect to that person or that demographic, it's fucking magic. It's magic. So I just can't thank y'all enough. I mean, it truly, it's been, it's been psychotic, watching everyone's reaction videos and TikToks and edits. It's an art. It's just been better than I ever hoped because I tried to keep my, my expectations realistic and temper my, my reaction to a release because it's something even though it's, I didn't write that song. It's very personal, you know? When it's being sung from a place of connection and yeah, I'm just, I'm over the moon with the fact that y'all like it. So if you like that one, that's just sort of appetizer. So I sort of hit lock in. I locked the fuck in and get ready. So that's all I'm gonna say on that right now. I told him to say right now. Okay. So I've kind of been dancing around this subject and I'm gonna sort of lock in and get to it. The Roman Empire. Have we talked about it enough? Yes. Who gives a fuck about the Roman Empire? Me. Me. So let's talk about it. Okay. Are you mad? Here is the thing. I thought I was, okay, I have about a hundred and seven things I want to say and also I'm sweating. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself when I do my hair a certain way and I'm like, God, you like Queen Victoria. Like that fuck ass hairstyle they do. It was just like, I just look like, I just look so British. It scares me sometimes. That's not me, but it is me. Fuck. Okay. The Roman Empire. What the fuck is that gonna say? Oh, it's been a long damn time since I've come on this podcast and talked about a man. Okay. It's been a long damn time. But I'm about to do it. And it's not, it is not. And I say that and mean it. It is not out of a place of yearning. Okay. It is out of a place of academic curiosity. There is a Tik Toker by the name of Frederick Atkinson. Is he British? You may be asking yes. Okay. A fucking corsia is. Frederick Atkinson. He does a lot of different content, but I would describe it as being and shout out Frederick because he's definitely going to see this pretentious. Okay. And that's fine because guess who's watching it? Big forehead meat. Okay. Big cavern, an empty, that I am just frothing at the mouth to fill with the classics, to fill with literature, to fill with Greek and Roman mythology. And guess who is at the metaphorical tap on Tik Tok of that wealth of information, Frederick motherfucking Atkinson. And I'm under, I'm under the speaking of the faucet. Okay. He does videos on, like I said, English literature, classics, even all the way back to like the Odyssey, Beowulf, any of these classic, John Milton Paradise Lost, he's talked about Dante Oligary, like all of these tomes that you would study in a classics class. And I like his style of content because he does it in a way that's digestible. He puts pictures up on the screen so I can look at them. And he tells it like a story. He also does stuff sometimes where he'll go on the road. And he went to, who the fuck's grave? He went to Oscar Wilde's grave and showed it there and talked a little bit about his life and his end and his legacy. And I enjoy videos like that. Okay. I find them highly entertaining. Now does he look like Milo from Atlantis? Yeah, he does. And does that intrigue me? Yeah, it does. You motherfuckers. Y'all hate me. Y'all hate me. And it shows. Damn. Can I talk? Can I speak? I look like Queen Victoria. No. And what the fuck is a Queen Victoria sponge cake? Y'all did not have to eat like that. The menu on the Titanic was fucked up. Can't believe it. We're eating like that. R.I.P. Queen Victoria, you would have loved Tustino's pizza rolls. You would have loved fucking Tyson Any Tisers. Okay. Anyway, for Idric Hackenson. I enjoy his content. Okay. On one video. I love to comment. And then I immediately deleted it because I'm humiliated. Okay. I left comment like, I have to comment like, "Love your content, keep it up." What the fuck? Hey, go ahead and log out for me. Love your content, keep it up. I turned 28 in a month. Figure that shit out, dude. And I come out here and I'm like, "Man, I hate, man." I turn into fucking Godzilla on this podcast. And I'm, "Goo, goo, man." And I breathe fire and I burn everything down. And then I'm like, "Love your content." Fuck, fuck, I'm such a fucking tool. (laughs) I am such a tool. Chat, can girls be tools? Damn. Anyway, I've really, that's been my addiction lately. And he talks, so hold on, I was getting somewhere with this. He talks about Greek and Roman mythology, okay? And he will tell the story of these gods or goddesses and how they came to be, what they're known for, who their lineage is. And of course, this has got me thinking, okay? Song of Achilles has been sitting on my shelf for the past three years. And I read the first five pages and then I got sucked into another book. So it's been there and I know Cersei is another one that that same author wrote that they're both just people love those fucking books. Well, it got me thinking 'cause I was like, I just finished my Viking smut book. Faded fate of ink and faded in ash. And I don't fucking know, bro. I don't know. I gave it three stars on Goodreads. It wasn't my favorite, but it definitely kept me entertained and did they have sex? Yeah, they did, okay? And was it in a hot spring? Yeah, it was. And what I've gotten to UTI, yeah, I would have. Anyway, that one I finished and I was like, I want something that, 'cause I don't want to jump right back into Sherlock Holmes, okay? Sherlock Holmes, I gotta take a break from it every now and then. I love Sherlock Holmes and y'all know I'm powering through it. All of them. And I just finished what's the one of the red head? The red-headed Sherlock Holmes red-headed, the red-headed league. That one was crazy, okay? Just finished that. And I don't want to read nonfiction. I don't want to read George Orwell's Why I Write. That's been on my nightstand for a long time. I started it and I just, I find myself yearning for fantasy because when I sit down to read Orwell, I love Orwell, but I want to take notes and I'm not always in a place where I can annotate and like study the text the way that I want to. And I'm also not always in the mindset to do it, you know? Like I want to be locked to the fucking when I do that, not like I've gotta read duties. I want to enjoy it. So it's been sitting on my nightstand for a long time. I digress. I started Song of Achilles because of one Frederick Atkinson, who by the way is writing a book, hey Freddie, go ahead and send that shit to me. I'd love to read it. Song of Achilles, I'm about 60 pages in. It's incredible. It's incredible. I get it. I get it now. I'm not even a third of the way through the damn book and I'm like, test the best book I've ever, it's really, I really am enjoying it. And it's gay. Gay. I didn't know Greek and Roman mythology was so freaking gay. It's really, really a beautiful story. So that's Song of Achilles. And now I'm down this rabbit hole of, that is the telling of Achilles from a, obviously, positive portrayal. Now there is a book that is a, a retelling of the story of Achilles from the opposite perspective called The Silence of the Girls. And this says, throw it back to 2021 when we all went from, he is half of my soul as the poet say to, we called him The Butcher. Damn. So after I've finished Song of Achilles, naturally I have to hurt myself and read The Silence of the Girls. Then I'm going to read Cersei. And I also bought a clim, clim, clim on a Nestra, clim, clim on a Nestra, (laughs) clim Nestra, the daughter of Helen, clim Nestra, clit, clitem Nestra, clitem Nestra. Greek mythology was the wife of Agamemnon, king of Mycenae, like the Mycenaeans, and the half sister of Helen of Sparta. Okay, right. There is a book by this net. Yeah, this one, clitem Nestra, a novel. I started this one and by started, I mean, I'm on page six and I started it on the plane and I like her writing. It's very easy to follow, very descriptive, very, I love a book, I've told you all this, like books like The Secret History and any Dan Brown book. I'm like, yes, teach me new words, teach me new words. I wanna be reading a book and be like, right, and have the dictionary open, the dictionary app open on my phone. That to me is, there's nothing better. Okay, I got my peppermint tea, I got my reading ambience on my TV screen. I'm in my bed, okay? Candle lit, lights off, reading lamp on. Unlock the fucking, there is no other place I wanna be. It's a book that is both feeding my brain in my heart and my dictionary app open. That is paradise to me, okay? Anyway, song of Achilles. I'm down this rabbit hole now of, I'm gonna pick a god or a goddess and fix a, it all kind of started back when I read The Secret History years ago because it's based on a group of classic students and it's based around Bacchus, Bacchus and the Baccanol, Baccanol, where it's basically like a big pleasure orgy in many senses of the word and everything spirals out of control from there. And it's just very interesting because it's all in, a lot, all of these authors, right? When you talk about someone like Adonatar or Pierce Brown or even Madeline, who wrote Song of Achilles? Madeline Miller. These people are clearly fanatics of the classics of Greek mythology and are well researched and Pierce Brown, I mean, he loves Roman Empire, almost to a degree that is, you know, you're a freaking nerd, you're a nerd, but it makes for great world building. And I really, really admire that where you are writing a fiction or, you know, in this case, a sort of retelling of a very popular story from the perspective of an academic. So interesting. I love it. I think it's a great way to resell these stories to a new generation and to keep them alive because damn, there's a reason they're still around, you know what I mean? There's a reason people just cannot get enough. The gods were tea, the gods were tea. That's probably why they were fucking capital F, fucking their brothers, their sisters, their mothers, everyone, they were drinking wine and fucking, and afterwards they would have an olive. Yeah, I'm interested. You're looking at me and tell me you're not interested? Do you wouldn't partake? Anyway. Yeah, that is, it's been my latest thing, okay? And in that vein, because I was just in Rome for way longer than originally intended, I had some time to sort of marinate in it, okay? I was in it. I was all up in there. My God, I mean, I could just talk for hours of all the stuff that I learned. We did this tour of the Colosseum and of, like I said, the Roman Forum, the Circus Maximus, all of these places that are still standing. I'd been to the Pantheon before. I'd been to these places, but to see it now and marvel at it for different reasons. You know, you, I remember 10 years ago, I was 18, my initial sort of, wow, was that it's still there, right? That's the initial reaction is holy shit. This is from, the Colosseum was finished in 80, 80. And it's still around, that is something in and of itself, to marvel at, the next thing is that they were able to build it and not only able to build it, but with better materials than we use today. You can see where they've done repairs on the Colosseum to either make it look, you know, more presentable, make it look whole or just a repair damage that tourists have done. And even the building materials that they use and their repairs do not hold up, they don't hold up against weather the way that their Roman material still do. That shit makes me just, and so if you've ever wondered why the Colosseum looks like that, it's because people recycled the marble. When they were building new buildings, no one gave a fuck about the Colosseum after the Empire fell and they used the marble, they repurposed it. So they would go up there and just destroy it and they'd take down the marble pieces and there are holes all in it because inside of any of the arches or the columns or the seating was iron that they would use and they would it would be a sort of indent or a groove in the flat marble and they would pour hot iron into it and it would go down into a little hole and it would it would bind it and so when it cooled and solidified everything was held together it's amazing it's amazing well when like i said the empire fell people were not impressed with these buildings anymore or rather these buildings were negative reminders of what life under an empire was or under a certain ruler also the reason it was called the coliseum is because there was a giant statue of neuro right outside of it that they called coloso coloseo okay and then the building right next to it became referred to as the coliseum now that statue was taken taken down i'm sure melted down and again repurposed but why does the coliseum look like that it that is not it's original design the way that it slants off to the side of the other half of it is missing it used to be one giant building similar to how the amphitheater and verona looks you put all that up here and it's incredible to think that entire structure used to be covered in the widest purist marble polished shown gold statues bronze statues in each of the the openings above the seats there were clear and still are clear markings above each of the entryways that corresponded to your ticket where you would sit where your entrance was and of course it was stratified the emperor had his box and then all of the nobles or or well to do sat in sort of the 100 section the 200 section was you know servant men and then the high or up is slaves women and children so it's just incredible that this shitsle stands and what they were able to do and it makes me i did a lot of reflecting on the Roman Empire while i was in Rome because what else is there to do and i came to this conclusion that's kind of like you know i when i think of the Roman Empire i think what a tragic waste of potential that's what i think i think it was a waste of what could have been the closest thing we we could have had to a utopia but if you said when could the go yes but what when you when when i think about the Roman Empire as what could have been a beautiful society but instead was the very definition of empire it was a horrible tragedy and it was succumb or die and when you i mean look at this image of what the Roman Empire covered at one point in time do you see this all of the red is the Roman Empire this goes all the way up from the uk from from what is that whales all the way down to the nile all the way down i mean it's incredible it is incredible what they were able to do but it's so devastating because for to what end right to what end where you make the emperor a god where where all of these people are forced to succumb and become Roman citizens and these Roman structures pop up for what like when you lose beauty and an individual culture and customs and dress and religion and all of the things that make humanity human when it all just becomes homogenized what a loss even if you're providing them with benefits like aqueducts bathhouses uh entertainment food all of these things you know you get all the benefits of the innovation of the Roman Empire but they're built with slavery and that's not it's just i i could write a paper on it of like the epic tragedy of the Roman Empire and i fail to see how it was ever going to succeed right so much to think about anyway i think that that mixed with when you think about even then romans roman mythology is stolen directly from Greek mythology and they just changed the names and warped the stories and made it fit i mean what's new about that you know taking a religion or or a ideology and warping it to fit your political propaganda okay it's not new we haven't not heard of that but it's just it's like to what end that's my question to what end anyway to be able to go to where the circus maximus used to be like the chariot racing and where the the marble uh seating was and in the coliseum you can actually see they have a little mockup in one section where marble remains of what uh you know if you imagine that all the way around the amphitheater what it used to look like there is a huge spider in the corner of the room and i'm trying really hard not to actually piss my pants right now so oh my god it's huge oh okay okay okay so i'm just gonna go ahead and wrap up the upside right mouse you oh i gotta let y'all know one one last thing that i've really been addicted to lately it's charcuterie nachos oh my god i can't get enough of them motherfuckers that that motherfucking thing up low fat sultan vinegar chips pepperoni now this is my dairy free low fat you know bullshit because i can't eat i can only hear that sultan vinegar baked lays salami turkey breast turkey like dilly meat banana peppers olives crushed up salted pistachios and to finish it all off dill fresh dill and a drizzle of hot honey go ahead and go ahead and make that in your kitchen tonight and tell me that i thought the most delicious bullshit you've ever had in your fucking life i was blown away okay it's my latest obsession now i'm gonna see y'all next week because i feel like i talked for about 35 minutes about my gallbladder and i feel real sorry about that to be honest thank you for listening to the music if you want some merch go to broski.shop get you moomoo get you t-shirt uh probably more to come soon by the way so keep your eyes peeled on that i love and appreciate y'all more than you will ever know okay you listen to me ramble about the Roman Empire you listen to me ramble about Frederick at consent and you listen to me ramble about call of duty masked men okay and by the way don't even get me fucking started on petripe skull in this last of us campaign that he's doing i i don't want to talk about it don't ask me about it i don't want to talk about it too much new royal court episodes coming out very soon keep your eyes peeled there's some fun ones coming out i will see y'all next week goodbye