Last Lick B4 Lexapro | History Hyenas

What's up everybody got a new hour standup coming at you. Chris D comedy dot com for tiki wiki's check me out. I'm in Long Island in Charlotte. We just had a fort Lord or Dale Florida. So go check that out one out in December, baby. What's up guys? Catch me in Rochester September 11th and 12th and DC September 25th and 26th. Catch me in Chicago, Betavia, Illinois, October 8th and 10th. 11th town Long Island, November 6th and 7th LA November 11th. Go get your tickets at Janus Pappas comedy dot com. Patreon dot com slash history hyenas so you can get our episodes early. Uncensored ad free and our additional bonus episodes some of our best. Enjoy this app. What's up everybody welcome to another episode of history hyenas coming to you live from the Bay Ridge Den Bay Root as we call it because we have been infiltrated on 5th Avenue. I'm Chris Stefano AKA Chris, which means always is Janus Pappas AKA Yani the Turk, the Turk. Yani the Turk. I love the Turks. I think I think all religions are good, devoted to them. I think all atheists are good. I think all agnostics are good. I think all Red Sox fans are good. Yeah. I have no enemies. I think all Cubs fans are great. Yeah. I also like the Yankees. I like Elliott Page. Yeah. Me too. Yeah. Yeah. Um, that last week we had on patreon.com says history hyenas. We had one of the best patreon lists we've ever had in the whole length of the show. The winner that we you guys voted, scissoring hurts my balls. You are the winner go to history hyenas is back.com is your name of the lights. The patron is a lot of fun. And scissoring hurts my balls. You are the winner. So that's the kind of fan base we have. We've been trying to figure out what's going on with the fans and the truth is that our fans just scissor with testicles. What I loved about this victory for scissoring hurts my balls is that I went and took a peek on the patreon to listen to the page the fan chatter. And the fans were very adamant that this was the strongest list of all time. I believe that's what they kept saying. So I just want to say to scissoring to scissoring hurts my balls. You didn't win. This wasn't a bubble trophy. This wasn't a LeBron on the lake is trofe right. You had competition that this was bird magic. This is legit. This is a legit championship. You went up against two fucking heavy hitters. This is the New York Knicks of this year. You won for real. You won for real. You beat Victor. We're in the eye of that French alien. This is Muhammad Ali facing form and phrasier and the list goes on. This wasn't no bullshit. This wasn't no bullshit guy. Scissorant hurts my balls. You're a real hero. I salute you guys. And I heard things like people on the page were saying as soon as I heard it, I spit out my coffee. One guy said as soon as I heard it, I tried doing it with my friend. I mean, yeah, that's a 10 out of 10. That's a 10. So and as it turns out, me and Chris tried it and it does hurt your balls. It does hurt the balls. But the problem is because my balls hangs so low is yawning was just scissoring my fucking penis. What do we do about when you get older when the balls start hanging low? You just start putting them on more people's heads because should we start a business of history hyenas underwear where we there's a ball bra in the underwear. Yes, yes. For guys over 40 guy, you kind of just you can have to put the air conditioner back on. I'm sorry. The audio my glucose is dropping. I'm starting to sweat it out. If you listen to the patreon, we had a we had a critic. My glucose monitor was going off. It was getting into the 50s. We just ate. Okay. We I'm not going to get Carvel, but I am thinking about it now we're up to 116. So now we're too far the other way. So we had a sabayik because that's no bueno. What is it in your life or personality that finds the medium ground? Yeah, because so this kind of your numbers, your numbers and you run the same. It's with you. Too low, too high. Well, you go this way. You go that way. Right. Okay, here. You're never in between going. I like it here in the middle. So okay, you're going, let's go to harder. Let's not go at all. So what's something you're asking me is what's something that I do feel calm that I just feel calm when I'm there. I don't feel like I have to go a million different ways. Honestly, lately what I've been feeling is sitting on my stoop. My mom's stoop in Ridgewood. I feel really nice there. So you want to go back in time. I'd like to go back in time. Is that possible? Can you make it happen? Because dad, I can't even make, I can't even make the neighborhood what it was when you used to go to John's P. Zaria. What is going on? John, John. I get it right. God rest his soul. God rest his soul. God rest his soul. Here it goes. Chrissy, what's going on? Hey, how you doing? What's going on? Yeah. It's Kevin. Yeah. Your mom's at work. Yeah. Because you got the only mom that works. Yeah. We're coming over again. We're ordering Chinese food. So go ahead. Put your giants jersey on. Your helmet and your mom's high heels, because we can't get you down the stairs when they ring the doorbell. And we're not going to order from leaves this time we get from new spots that just opened walk and roll. I'm very happy. And there's a place it's called walk and roll. And then we're going over to St. Anthodaceous to St. Thomas. St. Thomas. St. Thomas. St. Thomas. St. Thomas. St. Thomas. Yeah. Because we ain't got no Greek Muslim churches. Yeah. And we're going to go over there. We're going to play ball. And if we get good enough, we're going to go a couple blocks over to Bushwick and play the African American. Yeah. We would play African American. We would go. We would get in the car. We would go to farmer's oval. We'd get in a car. We called it the dark. My boy Eric had was only went out of the car. He called it the dark. And we would go. We'd go to we check farmer's oval first. If farmer's oval look light, we'd go to 88th, which is on 88th Street in Murder Lab. Then if that was whack, we'd go to where else would we go? We'd go to 68th. There was a park down there at 68th. And then we'd go to Central Park. It was on Central Avenue, not Central Park in the city. Yeah. There was a park on Central Avenue in Queens. And when we would go there and we didn't love playing it because they had the double rims. Yeah. And since I was a shooter, it's much harder to get the ball in when you're shooting on the double rims. We would look for places with the synchromes. But there was this guy and there was a kid who used to play that his name. We used to call him Mullins because he looked like Chris Mullins. Yeah. And he was wet. Yeah. Let me be honest with me. No, Cuzz. Let me tell you right now because my blood sugar is 120. I'm going to be fucking honest with you. Did you think that you were able? Did you and your friend group think that you were even able to go into Manhattan? Or did you really believe for a certain time period that you needed a passport to go? I am not kidding around with you. Yeah. I know like we joke around a lot, but I'm being 100% serious. I played basketball when I was 17 for the for it was called Christian Tabernacle. It was the like the Spanish, you know, religion, like the, you know, the Christians that like, you know, start whaling at the wall and like going crazy and like Jesus shot them with love. I played on that basketball team there. I tryouts in the park at farmers, I was shooting around and the coach coach Ray was like, do you want to try out? So I tried out and I was like, you know, one of the best players on that team and we were driving to a game and the game was in Harlem and I didn't know that and I had just started driving and we were driving through Queens and we were driving to the 59th Street Bridge. And I realized I had only ever drove seen the 59th Street Bridge. I never drove over it. And I saw us that you have to make the left to go over the 59th Street Bridge and I pulled over on the side and told the guys, I can't do it. I swear to God, I couldn't go over the Truman show. We had to call. I had a no key itself. I had to call coach Ray and I told him that my car broke down and he was like, all right, leave the car there. The church will pay for a cab for you. We had to hail down a cab. There was no Uber back then. And we took a cab, but the car was perfectly fine. It was a Pontiac ran out. That was purple. It's my stepmother. We used to call it the flying eggplant or some people call it the flying. It's just the truth. I didn't say it, but you were my friends with the court in history. Court in history. So the flying eggplant and I called and I got real nervous and I said, I can't go over that. And then I remember that one of the guys, he's like a famous pastor now. He's got like a bunch of Instagram followers. He hit me up like three years ago. And he was like, remember that time we couldn't drive over the 59th Street Bridge. I was like, yeah, it was crazy. He was like, you didn't have car trouble. You were just scared, right? I was like, yeah. So I had a feeling because that was a big deal going to the city. I realized I had looked at the 59th Street Bridge. I had looked at the Brooklyn Bridge. I had looked at the Manhattan Bridge all from the Brooklyn Queenside. Yeah. But I had never been over them unless I was in the back of my grandfather's car. Shout out Pops. If I was in Pops car, in the back, we'd go over and we'd have a nice day in the city. Yeah. But I never drove over it. And the first time I ever drove over any bridge whatsoever was the Arizona Bridge. It sat down on my father and I had to put the hazards on. And he was, he had me in an old black oldsmobile, old school car. That was the first car I ever drove. That was his old car. And this is the very first time I went over the bridge. He told me to put the hazards on, stay in the middle lane. And then we hit kind of like a little speed bump on the bridge. It was only only going 25 miles an hour and all the doors flung open. And there must have been a point where just naively, you figured, hey, let me bring up one of my passions. Let me just, hey guys, I went over, I went and checked out that historic building, which the one right right by here is the old Dutch home the underdog house the underdog Hey guys, I got an idea, instead of going to get pizza, ICs, play basketball, try to talk to Polish and Puerto Rican girls, instead of doing that today, you guys wanna go to the Uncle Donk House? - Uncle Donk House. - 'Cause that was the first time, and I know what happened, you naively said it, 'cause you were passionate, you said it from passion, you had a good idea for something different for you and the boys to do today. - Yeah, and that's when you quickly discovered that that was a gay fact, that was a gay fact. - That was a gay thing, you said. - Well, I'll never forget. - And to push that down. - I've told you, we were by Katalpa Avenue, which is one of the main streets that runs through Ridgewood over there. You got very good restaurants off Katalpa Avenue, that weren't there when I were a kid, but I never forget I was walking with two of my friends, and we were dribbling basketballs, 'cause we would always, I made a rule, if we were gonna walk, 'cause everyone wanted to work on their ball handling, we would, everybody would have to leave their house, and we would always have the basketball, so we would practice dribbling on the way to the park. And I noticed that one of the signs that we walked past, that wasn't green, normally, New York City streets are green, but they were designated brown, and I said, that means that's historically designated area, and I can't prove it, but within 30 seconds of that, we were walking dribbling, and one of the kids, I think it was the kid Kyle, hit me in the back of the head with the ball. (laughing) So they would do that a lot, they would, I was the kid where I'd be standing around, whatever, like dribbling or not looking, and a ball would hit me in the face, which I got hit in the face with a ball by my friends a lot. Yeah, you don't want to let those kids know that you're knowledge curious. - No. - That's like being bicurious. You put that in the closet, you don't want them to know that it's like thinking about guys. - Yeah. - That's something you want to tell you. - I remember one time we got into like a huge fight with another, like, you know, a graffiti gang in the park, and the guys were fighting, like the guys, like it all just happened so quickly, and I got scared, so I yelled at one of the kids, and said, "I'm gonna go get the car." So I ran and I got the car, and I pulled it up, and they all ran into the car, and I sped out, like I was a hero, but I was really just too scared to get beat up. We just had about eight slices of pizza, and you know when you have that feeling that rumbles in your stomach, I know guaranteed I'm gonna put soup into that toilet. - You're gonna have diarrhea? - It's gonna be, as the Greeks say, "Supa." - "Supa." - I'm gonna make shit soup. - See, I have diarrhea coming. See, I don't really suffer from diarrhea too. I do get diarrhea once in a while, but for me, I've been noticing lately, my stomach, I've been getting a lot of acid in the stomach and the chest. Does that just happen as we get older? - It's tomatoes, are you eating a lot of tomatoes? - I just had six slices of pizza and a chicken pinini, and I am gonna get Carfell on the way to get my steps out. - So every time I have tomato, or I had to give up orange juice completely, because every single time I have heartburn, I am a regular consumer of homoproposal. - Right, a regular consumer. - Like that, you take it every day. - Not every day, but I would say maybe once a week. - Right, twice a day. - You still take those pencil-thin ships? (laughing) 'Cause I got a wild memory, but I remember right, 'cause you told me that maybe once. - Yeah, but the thing is, I had my fucking smash bean chat. - You're good. - And they're good. I mean, I do, I think I do. - 'Cause I want you to move back into this apartment with Brittany. I remember you and Brittany living in this apartment. I would sleep on the couch and come on with my daughter. I wanna go back to my old life. How do we go back, but I can still keep my family? - You can't go back, 'cause when you were in that life, you wanted out of that life, too. - Yeah, but now, but I've changed. (laughing) - It doesn't sound like it does, but I've changed. Now I put in my lesson, just give me back my whole life. If I start turning red, it means that, you know, I'm gonna try, that we got something to play for. Do you wanna go shit? I'm in me, right now, I know it's coming. I know I'm doomed. - I know, I'm definitely doomed. - Well, at least the bathroom is clean because it was seriously a nightmare. - Yeah, I had to clean. - What nightmare? - Who cleaned it, did you clean it? - I cleaned it. - You cleaned out the bathroom? - I cleaned it. - Why is your toilet seat all green? - And there was a little green spot? - Yeah. - No, that's bacteria. - That's bacteria. - That's bacteria that accumulates when you don't clean it. - Got it, that's bacteria. - That's bacteria. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So, yeah, what was they saying? - So we, listen, what you were saying, what you were saying. - I forgot. - What you were saying was that you have diarrhea. What you were saying, diarrhea, diarrhea. I'm, you know, we talked about it on the Patreon. I'm excited, I'm gonna go home and pack. We're going to Colonial Williamsburg. I'm probably just gonna wear this outfit every day. I'm gonna go and roll the coasters. I'm excited about it. I'm gonna start, I'm getting back on the peptides. I'm gonna start back on. Now we're gonna try trisepatide. We were on red of trutide. We're gonna try trisepatide. 'Cause I've been eating, I have a bottomless pit. The way I've been eating is truly insane. I can't explain like I'm getting fat. I can't stop eating, it's actually scaring me. But I'm gonna start trisepatide. But I'm gonna start it when we get back for my trip on Friday. - Right, right. - I'm gonna start it. I have a new agent now. - What? - Now why did you say, why did you make a deal yourself that you're gonna start it after the trip? - Because I don't want to, because I want to just be able to eat and enjoy myself at Bush Gardens. - Right. - At the amusement park, they have all different countries in there. They have like an Italian section, an Irish section, and the Italian section has really good spaghetti and meatballs, and I don't want to have no appetite from the trisepatide, and I want to eat it. (laughing) That's why, and I want to get little ice creams and stuff with my kids, and I know if I'm on trisepatide, I'll look better and I'll feel better, but it makes you not want to eat and you have to force it down, and I don't want to do that. I want to have fun, I want to get a funnel cake. - You know, the problem is, you just treats everywhere. - The problem is treating, and I'm sorry, guy. I'm sorry that I like to have fun, and I like to live my life. - Right, right, I'm sorry that I like to do that. I don't do drugs, really. I barely drink, but I like to eat and have a good time, and I like to feel free, and I like to imagine what life would have been like if I made some different choices. And I like to sit in those thoughts for hours. - Right, yeah, that's the thing. They say life is understood, life is live for us, but understood backwards. - Right, that's what they said. - Yeah, like I'm understanding now the choices that I made, and you know, and you're just one of those things, because I have to go through 'em, so I'm telling you, if you could just figure out a way for me to go back, and everyone could just move back here, and we can start over with Bay Ridge. Promise I'll be a good boy. So, what would happen if we started over there, you would just make a bunch of different decisions. I would make a bunch of different decisions. I would make a bunch of different decisions, but it's gonna be hard. - Why are you Brittany moving back here? - What would your life look like with those different decisions? - Okay, so number one, 'cause I wanna keep my kids, I wanna have the same, can't think only one would be here. - Right, so that's what I'm saying. So I wanna bend the rules a little bit where I'm gonna take my little daughter with me into the past, even though she wouldn't theoretically have been born yet, but I want her with me. So I need her, and then, so you, so they're both there now. - But both there, the kids are there. We would be in an apartment that we have a view of the water. - Right, I always, I'm always looking for places that have views of the water, but I'm never buying places that have views of the water. - Right, right. - So I always say I wanna view of the water, and then they'll show me a place for the view of the water. I say that's not right, but you're a short walk to a view of the water now. - I'm a short walk to the view of the water. Very short walk to the view of the water. - But, I can't see from any part of my house, and it's just bothers me. So I wanna view of the water. So that, number one, I would not be in the suburbs, I'd be in the city, yeah? So I'd be in the city, if I would be in Bay Ridge, I'd be down by the water. I'd have my kids back in Catholic school, because they're going to school with a lot of, let's just say, not Catholic people, right? And so I don't love that. So I would go have my kids in Catholic school. I would have a view of the water. I would probably do my, or do our podcast, I would keep everything right here, make the studio, I would get a studio, down somewhere in Bay Ridge, and I would probably go out to eat less, because I would spend less money on food outside and try to control my eating. I'd cook more at home, and I would go to Banas Academy with Antony every day in the morning. That would be a beautiful day as I'd go at 6 a.m. and get a nice work on in. I'd walk my kids to Catholic school. I'd work on some of my joke riding at Cafe Cafe, the Norwegian coffee shop in Bay Ridge. I would look at pictures of Erling Holland that they have on the wall, and then go on the bathroom and jerk off. Then I would go get Greek food, 'cause Greek food keeps me healthy. You and I would go walk, we'd bring the dog back, Ila. We'd go with the dogs, and we'd go run around on the fields and have fun with them. And then I would go pick my kids up from school, be with them, be a present act of father, be present and active with my wife. We'd go do things, maybe we'd have a dinner that she would home cooking, we'd eat it outside with our, you know, we'd have like a little balcony, we'd eat it outside and have fun. And then I would tell the kids I was going to the city, but I would really be going up to the wicked monk where I know one of the bartenders is secretly gay and I'd hit the glory hole. (laughing) Okay, now I'm getting a phone call from you from that era. - Okay. - Yeah, what's up Chris, what's going on? Yeah, yeah, yeah, no. A views of the water can be annoying. It could be really annoying, yeah, yeah. You get a little glare from the sun, I get it, I get it. - Yeah. - Yeah, the ship speak a lot of noise, I, yeah, no. Yeah, no, living up, yeah, living up there does sound like it could be good. - Yeah. - Yeah, moving out, everyone's moving out of the city. I tell you, that's what everybody's doing. Yes, I agree, everybody's moving out of the city. Yeah, yeah, no, totally, totally, yeah, yeah, no, it's better. Yeah, it's better over there. For sure, for sure. Glucose? (laughing) Drag your slides. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you're back, yeah, you bet, that's the way. That's gotta be the way. (laughing) It's good. peptides for the rest of the world. That's what we're gonna do yeah, we're gonna peptides every day. We're gonna shoot. Yeah, I'm gonna get him to I'm gonna get a whole whole draw full of On the line legal peptides. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, from here on in Absolutely, absolutely. All right. Let's do it. I hear you man for sure. Yeah, no, I'm quitting. I'm quitting comedy too Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right. Let's beat you up. So yeah, yeah Yeah, so I gotta do I gotta do diarrhea bad you're gonna do it. I have to do it bad Should I keep going or should we pause? Well, this is pretty crazy that it this is quick Interesting I wonder what happened That parasite's going around bad. What's it called cyclopsa? Yeah, they say it's bad, right? I mean But they say all the shit's bad. I mean, I'm sure it is bad. You're not a rollercoaster guy, right? You don't like push coordinates. Yeah, once the last rollercoaster you've been on Man, it's been forever. I haven't been on a rollercoaster in probably like 10-15 years. Where'd you go? Where was I great adventure maybe no, I loved great adventure when I was a kid, too, okay I loved it, too, but I remember the first like I went on the cyclone when I wrote like Coney Island Coney Island Yeah, when I that might have been the last one I was on so the cyclone, which is rickety is shit now It's still there. It's still there still rickety there was a guy who died on the cyclone when some Japanese guy He was a tourist anyone on the cyclone and it whipped him around so bad that he had a crack in his neck and he died the next day It was outrageous in like this is recent. Yeah, I think within the last like 10 years or so. Yeah Yeah, yeah, I could look it up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, job Japanese guy Yeah, do somebody died on a Disney ride like last year a guy with special needs really because it get these these drops and shit Like it could give you heart attack. You got to know what's going on. Yeah, I mean they whip you around if you two thousand eight two thousand eight Susie so the family is soon to city fractured his neck, but that was back in 2008. Okay, so he has a little longer than I remembered Do you have the same thing that I suffer from the nostalgia you always want to go back in time or not really The only way I want to go back in time is I want to make some bets I want to make some purchases right I'd go back a year from now and buy a shitload of microns stock Yeah, you should be chilling right now like fucking a biff from a what's the movie back to the future? Yeah, yeah, so you don't suffer from like oh you see two thousand eight. You're like man my life in 2008 Sometimes sometimes yeah, I'm like man, it'll be nice to go back But just because I would want to do things like you were saying just a little different just right because I'm pretty happy Where I am now, but you know a little bit more cheddar would be kind of nice. Yeah, but that's what everybody wants, right? Yeah, a couple more. You know my therapist told me he said the thing is with you is The the reason why people always say you're stressed out or this or that is like because Your little impulses that you have in your mind because we all feel that we just don't share them Mm-hmm. You're always sharing them. You're always sharing all your thoughts He was like which is you know a good thing and a bad thing But he was like that's why you feel that's why sometimes people look at you and like wow This guy's crazy because he was like we're all having crazy thoughts But we don't you don't you don't you don't say it or you think about it for a second like that's crazy But he's like you for whatever reason your thoughts just keep going and going and going and then you start to want to live that like He was like we've all felt you know what we're living in this house We don't love it. We should sell but you don't do it, but you actually do it He's like so so you have so he's like there's a beauty in that You know you just go and you know in some with argue are living life to the fullest because you're just acting on all your thoughts But the problem with that is then you're at a control. You're off balance You know and you're you're going in a million different directions. So as I'm getting older. It's like you know What is it what you know he keep always tells me is like is this an inconvenience or is this an emergency? Your brain is always wired to think emergency and one thing I read you ever read the book the body keeps score No, but I've heard of it. Yeah, so the body keeps score. He really encouraged me to read it and I have So many of these anxiety impulses we have it's because of an old trigger that's something that really did happen But your brain doesn't use words your brain goes by feelings So something will pop up deep in your subconscious and your brain thinks you're reliving that trauma So your heart starts to beat so you set so the read the way you get out of that is by physical touch So like when you're having an anxiety tag you start to happen your feet Mm-hmm because then what happens is your brain snaps out of the anxiety say hey What's that new thing and then you start to say okay? I'm calming down or you start to You know touch your body a little bit push down feel a different sensation you close your eyes What what can I smell in the room? What can I taste in the room? What do I hear because if not your brain is just gonna keep going in this loop? It's it the thing is is A lot of times you're well not a lot of times every time your brain just can't differentiate The real trauma that happened you from the fake trauma your brain is always going to that's an emergency when it's never an It's almost never an emergency. Yeah, do you so when you when you think about the past right? You think I can go back and I could I it would be perfect right? I would get it right sure time, right? Yeah, so what about the future when you think about the future? Do you get freaked out like when you when you when you fast forward like 10 20 years? Are you getting nervous so so it's interesting right? I keep telling myself hey just like you know I want to be in the moment with my kids because you know you're when you have little kids It's like it's a weird thing right like grant, you know God willing. I live a long healthy life my kids live a long healthy life The majority of my time. I know my kids. I'll know them as adults, right? I'm only gonna know them as kids for this very short period of time So I don't want to speed that time up but at the same token I know that like I keep telling myself. Oh just stay healthy Say it's healthy as you can to like you're in your mid-50s and then like you'll get your life back but but then when I'm in my mid-50s I'll probably be like I wish I could go back to my 40s when my kids were little you would be so it's like this balancing act And y'all need back and y'all need back how was the shit? It was it was really good It was almost worth getting diarrhea for how good it felt coming out. So dad do you feel complete relief? No I definitely got a case of what they call the reruns now this will be syndicated now here's the thing with you and just because I know You just took a really messy disgusting shit and I just know because I've been in there. You don't have any soap in the bathroom So you have shit fingers No, what we unfortunately you have shithead no your Edward shitheads what we do have is a thing called the Tushia in there So I was able to really give my butthole a bath you were able to give your butthole bath but make no mistake You have shit here. I didn't hear the water at all. Yeah, the water. Oh, I gave my butthole a nice bath So you didn't even attempt to run water your hands you filthy filthy green and here's the problem is I got a shit again So it's just what it is. Yeah, it's bad like that. So y'all this is here and then he's out and then he's here again with Absolute shit fingers. You better watch your hands with that Ajax dish show that I see right out of the shot Because I got to tell you about this game changing product that I used before a night out with drinks and this is coming up The top of my head. I'm not reading the script. It's called pre alcohol by Z Bionics and this is just coming to me as I'm remembering it My plus one this wedding season has been a pre alcohol probiotic. I have to tell you about this is the thing about it There's no reason not to try this. It's just coming off the top of your head coming off the top of my head There's no reason not to try it because if you got having a night of drinking pop this before You'll feel better the next day because it's giving you all the things that the alcohol takes away from you Because I just remembered something it was invented by PhD scientists to break down a silahide a bi-product of drinking alcohol Z Bionics has sold more than 14 million bottles and earned the trust of thousands including us. Yes You basically take alcohol take it but Z Bionics given yes, they give it our best piece of advice to avoid breaking the below language Oh, sorry. Yeah, that was just coming up the top of my head But I realized I probably shouldn't divulge that thought so what you got to do is all you got to know is that Z Biotics has sold more than 14 million bottles and earned the trust of thousands. It's a pre alcohol Because pre alcohol produces an M sign that is designed to break down this product pre alcohol your first drink of the night Drink responsibly and enjoy it your next day activities with pre-biotic. That's the gist of it Try for yourself today And if you are an unsatisfied and if you are unsatisfied they will refund your entire order no questions as head to Z Biotics dot com slash hyenas code hyenas for 15% off your first order. Yeah, because you just want to focus on the positive aspect of drinking not the next day Square because you're a square. Yeah, it's a platform behind the scene so many businesses of you already love everywhere You go you see a little square. Yeah, square think about your favorite local business right a cafe of boutique a restaurant They use square how to square enhance your experience? Well, let me tell you it does a lot of good stuff It's hardware that works in person and on the go This isn't just a point of sale software that manages staff marketing and customer insights banking tools like square checking to get paid instantly it really makes it easy for you Chris honey You don't need an IT team or a degree in accounting Okay, it scales with you whether you're selling from a stall or expanding the storefront square isn't just fast It's smart transparent and built for the way people actually run their businesses. This is a real quote I use square for everything even paying my team. It's all connected That's from Doran Tomboko who's a beauty pro and a good friend of the show if you're starting a business or running one that deserves better tools Square helps you sell manage and grow without slowing down right now you can get up up to two hundred dollars off square hardware at square dot com backslash go back slash hyenas that's s q u a r e dot com slash g o slash hyenas run your business smarter with square get started today he stinks yeah yeah so i didn't hear the I didn't hear the faucet i didn't hear the faucet dude i mean that's shit fingers dude i mean yeah well you know what it is to you know i always thought about it like like you're at a point now right you're 50 mm-hmm yeah 51 51 so like you don't you know and you're lady and you don't your kids are you've accepted i'm never having children maybe you know you might have kids i maybe i'll adopt a kid you want to adopt you'll do something yeah you know there's a part of you that wants to be a father then you know it is i've never really thought about it until recently i maybe it's listening to you guys talk but it does seem kind of nice you know but you know my brother has kids he says young kids so i get a little piece of it there but then there's another part of me that's like i'm pretty happy where i am now you know like like you can you sit there and like realize like the freedom that you have and be like thank god like i can like you can go home tonight yeah and you can just if you want to lay on the couch or you'll do that yeah yeah and and and that doesn't there's not a loneliness like you don't feel incomplete you feel like wow what a gift no yeah yeah i don't feel that sometimes i feel like it would be nice you know it would be like a bonus right but i don't feel like i'm missing something i never felt that right you know if i did feel that then i'd probably act on it right but who knows man life is long you never know what good that's the thing too is like especially for men it's like dude how many i mean plenty of guys have kids in their 60s yeah absolutely yeah i i got a friend who's on the dating apps a lot and uh old is he he's 50 okay and he's he's having a great time out there he's meeting a lot of chicks in there's like 30s right 30s and he's telling them that he has a vasectomy even though he doesn't that's like he opens up with that right because a lot of these chicks want to sell down you know they want and so he that's his opening so if you want to have sex still you know it's like not about procreating it's just yeah absolutely interesting he's catching women right at that time where they they're thinking like this is it so when he tells them he has a vasectomy or some of these women being like there's no second day type thing i think they're trying it you know it's like i like uh women will if you tell them you're gay they'll try and turn you straight i think they're like i could work on this guy you can get a reverse yeah there's things we can get gone it must be so fun 50 i'm sure he was married before right x x wife now so so in the mid 50s decent enough looking guy he's a physical therapist okay yeah he's in great shape great shape got a good job makes money makes money yeah does he have kids too he's got an older daughter daughter who's grown already grown up daughter so like he's already in the workforce yeah yes so he's just out dating he's dating like three four times a week so does he so speaking with guy like that whose older a little bit older has kids already does he love his life now he's loving it i think it's his hobby dating is his hobby like it's it's air like well because it's got to be something because there is one thing like about like i love what my family you know i love my wife i love my kids but that's why i spoke on the patreon going to try Becca with them yesterday felt so amazing to me because it was like a new experience for them so it feels like you're almost with like a new thing i think sometimes when you're sitting in the suburbs you do the same thing every day yeah you're in the yard you're in the house you're at the same store so i think it's so important if you're gonna you know make it with your family while your kids are little and if you're living out in the suburbs you have to change things up you have to make it a point like hey on Wednesdays we're gonna we're gonna do a family night we're gonna go out and do some different because i think what your friend is probably feeling is like that you know they say like new pussy but it's like it's really just like a new energy it's like a new person a new set of chemicals a new circumstance and our brains crave that absolutely yeah he he's thrilled by the you know it seems a little exhausting though i'm sure you have to you know you have to go you have to perform a little bit you know you have to wind and die yeah it's not like he's dating this you know it's like every woman is like whatever the first second or third date you got to dress up you got to be like have a plan absolutely you know so that that kind of sucks i know that that could be exhausting and then eventually you're gonna get an STD just eventually eventually he's gonna get an STD he's gonna get that frickin diarrhea virus like eventually they're saying now yes there's an STD uh there's a diarrhea STD really yes it's it's it's it's a big one it's like some diarrhea STD that's just popping around so you're catching you start diarrhea that's what it is i don't know if it's amongst gay men or like it has something to do with anal but there is a big explosion of diarrhea STD i take that over herpes any day i'll tell you absolutely well that's a forever one herpes yeah that's forever yeah i take that over chlamydia a buddy of mine's a doctor he he works a city md so he's all over the city he you know he they rotate him around he says the biggest cases of STDs he sees is in Williamsburg really Williamsburg is out of control what does he see in chlamydia he sees chlamydia he sees monkeypox monkeypox that's big amongst gay men yeah he said a lot of frisky gay guys come into the interesting again you know what he has to do he has to bend him over spread him open and investigate oh cuz the monkeypox will be in their ass in their ass yeah yeah dude i knew a gay guy once who had gonorrhea in his throat oh yeah oh he told me about that good friend of mine yeah i had gonorrhea and he showed me like you know i saw it like he was getting treated but it was like day two it's bad how i was like does that do you feel it he was like what do you think he was like it feels like the worst sore throat i've ever had in my life it's like strep throat on life i know dude it was strep throat on his entire tonsils to like you know what he showed me with his phone was white oh and he's got swollen like that and that's from sucking a dirty cock had to be had to get gonorrhea in the throat oh yeah i think you know but it is it is it is what you know i joke around about selling the house i'm not going to do that but i i have found it very very very very very difficult to i've always had to trouble settling down you know with the house whatever i want to give it time but very difficult settling in the suburbs it's a very different energy it's small like there's a rumor going on around about me it not even a rumor it's just like because people the gym i go to it's like like a like a it's a 45 so it's like fitness classes right and you're going one station to the next to the next to the next to the next to the next and then you like do a lap around the gym like run run around outside and then that's it you do stretching and you leave and somebody said somebody told like one of my wife's friends like oh yeah i saw that comedian guy at the gym he doesn't wipe down his equipment and now they're like we're gossiping about that it's like this is what the kind of people you're going to be around it's like you're going to be around people like that's what they're talking about such more lives right such more lives and it's like i'm not even that big of a fish or anything like that but i'm the only comedian that lives in the town so they watched every move i made to say something about that's gross dude that's but but that's the suburbs you know so all right shit shitties back how is it good now how do you feel how is the second batch the second and now you're wiping your face with your shit fingers the thing is the sequel's never as good as the original your hair looks good though doesn't it actually does it looks a little dry but it looks nice so i shit myself it to handsome yeah you did that's what i did now now is it it's pure water no i would say it's a mixture somewhere between solid liquid and gas i'd say it's the holy trinity diary you i was gonna say soliloquic gas you it's the planets it's the cosmos it's the cosmos or the holy trinity you got the solar system coming after it's got in three forms except it's shit now let me ask you this guy excuse me what else did you eat today this morning i had a the leftover of my daughter's bagel with cream cheese on those little frozen bagels that my wife makes read you know my time almost zero protein dude i've had almost zero protein today i don't track stuff the way that i should i'm also not losing weight today the way that i should yeah because you've you've now this is the fourth time i've known you for 14 years now this is the fourth or fifth time you've said i'm gonna get in shape again this is gonna be my last shot i'm gonna try to get it going again and this is the longest it's taking you to get it going i've known you do all i've known you for 14 we've been friends for 11 it's what it is that's the truth there were you know how jesus had the missing years that's what we had but god i've known you that long 14 year i was sending you DMs because we started out as too fat guys on msg yeah but i was sending you let me see if i could find them i was sending you DMs i was sending you DMs asking to move you the equipment for you yeah like 15 years ago yeah that was a look we ever read them out yeah we read them out oh we did on the first ride or this one uh i think on both rags we did well let me just see but sometimes i like to do that i like to go back like i'll look at the some of the first messages i ever sent surgeon i'll cry because i just want to go back to 2009 jesse jesse said that it's okay then i want to go back at time that we all do it a little bit yeah those thoughts happen i think i think the difference with you is you're trying to go you're gonna try to make it happen and here's the thing i believe in you so much i think you might be able to do it i might be able to make it happen you're the guy you're that guy who revolutionizes things you got let's do a six p.m. show yeah and listen people are doing six p.m. shows yeah i just did r.u. garbage live they did a six p.m. show i said where'd you get that idea yeah you're the type of guy who says listen i want to go back in time you may be able just because the will of the energy that comes with your will. My big butt to try to do things that are not possible. Yeah, you might be able to do it to make some leeway Because yeah, I think I can I think I'm able to do it. I think that What it is well no the wedding the wedding. I'm happy with the wife I'm happy with the kids. I'm happy with I do just want to go back I wonder I would love to tell my else to move back to Queens and I would love to make it happen It got my kids back in their old lives. It's August 1st I would love to get them I would love to get it done in four weeks So let me ask you this. I want you to ask me were you happy in Queens was that the place you wanted to stay? No, well what it was was is I didn't like that Where did you want to stay in Staten Island the place that you wanted to leave the statinite what are these places Do you want to stay the that the ones you wanted to let me tell you something right now guy the first thing I should have never did ever is leave Bay Ridge to begin with I should have never did that But I did that but but but the bet if I could go do anything over again and go back in time I would have never ever sold the house in Staten Island because that has created this chain of events So why did you sell the house in Staten Island because at the time I wanted to go to Queens and be closer to the action and I thought that You know I eventually because I always want to get to the city Wait, so you wanted to be closer to the action in Queens Close to the action I guess in the city there even though theoretically I was closer to the city in Staten Island I think you drive it theoretically closer to the action now than you are from Staten Island with traffic No with traffic with traffic with Staten Island would only take me like 30 minutes to get to the city it takes you about 30 minutes now No, it what yeah, but to downtown to downtown takes off over an hour I like to be around 30 minutes to down I want to be downtown So we're talking about a 10 15 minute difference here of discomfort. No, no, but but I'm saying I should have never because what I realized now That I did it with that I didn't realize back then is that my kids had stability in Staten Island I took that from them by uprooting and then we uprooted from Queens and then we're here and now we're in a school system And you want to uproot them again, right because I like but that's the thing I like the school system I don't love it. I want them being Catholic school. I want I want just some of the old world back So I keep theorizing on my head maybe moving them back to their old lives won't be as detrimental and crazy But I decided I can't move them again, but I have decided I'm selling the house I'm just gonna live in the same town in a smaller house What if we got law enforcement involved? Yeah, and they said all right the next decisions you make are gonna be the decisions You stick to or you go to jail. Yeah, is that what we got to do and I'll stick to them Yeah, I think we need to get law enforcement involved on cuz speaking of Cuz the last episode fans really liked when I said that you needed a restraining aid or a restraining order against yourself It's just cuz it is the truth and cuz I'm really just that I'm I'm almost take I feel like I'm taking my last Licks right now. I'm eating whatever I want a few days before I start to treasepitide and the cholesterol medicine and I want to feel Like I want to do whatever I want like I want to sell the house and make a few more crazy decisions before I start the Lexapro So I'm calling it last licks So it last like it's the same reason why you don't want to start the new diet till after you got I have to go to clonial Williamsburg cuz I just want to get my last licks it so let me do one more for sale Let me do one more. Let me do one more. Let's get a divorce and live in an apartment Let me do one more for take the Lexapro and then we'll be good. Ooh, honey You know you you set something nice about me. Yeah, you said that I look good and I look nice It didn't that's because I've been doing a little product called hymns weight loss. It helps that's the area you're in right now is hymns weight loss And it's crazy too because I started to lose weight for you. So I'm really using losing weight for him If weight loss has felt like a losing battle What you can do is skip the guesswork and try weight loss by hymns access to affordable and affordable range of FDA approved LP one medications including the we gov pill and the we gov pen plus the support to actually stick with it with wagovie At hymns lose up to 20% of your body weight when combined with diet and exercise It helps you regulate your appetite eat less and keep weight off plus wagovie is the first ever GLP one pill for weight loss So there are no needles needed. 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He's a lab pit mix So he goes into water and you know the water makes you wet And unfortunately that makes you susceptible to hot spots and little open source and its spread is a little bacteria I had to go get some anti Bacterial forums some what do you call those little freaky? Antibiotic and thank god, I was covered because that helped with the bottom line price ASPCA pet health insurance program They offer that customizable accident and illness plan that can fit your budget your lifestyle and even your pets Particular quirks like little Freddy's and when it's time to submit a claim It's easy you just use their app and receive reimbursements for eligible vet bills directly into your bank account So you can get back to focusing on what really matters your pet This is really great. It's just makes it easy to explore coverage visit ASPCA pet insurance Dot com slash hyenas. That's ASPCA pet insurance dot com slash hyenas again. That's ASPCA pet insurance Dot com slash hyenas. This is a paid advertisement insurance is underwritten by either Independent American insurance company or United States fire insurance company and produced by ptz insurance agency limited The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance I don't know. I wasn't brought up Catholic. So here's the thing. Here's the situation And I'm okay with the episode be it about this because this is because we're supposed to talk about the battle of hastings We'll talk about that next episode and then we'll get to the battle of hastings, which is a town in Westchester Oh, let me ask you this. I don't know much about Catholicism I used to go with my friend when I was little and I'd go and now he's on a on a park bench cracked out. No, he's Jewish. Okay Who can we tackle that? No, but he's not gonna listen. He's homeless No, you got it with this way. There were no who he is never know Yeah, but how would he know we're talking about him? We didn't mention a name or anything, right? A lot of crack yeah kids um I mean cuz I could smell you shit. I left the door open. It's gonna waft it here. Yeah I don't I didn't I don't know a lot about Catholicism But is I'm just trying because let me just tell you some honestly as your friend guy. Yeah from the outside looking in Yeah, everything's great. Yeah The only hint that I get the things are bad is From your description of it. Well, that's what I was telling Jesse. So it doesn't match up So that's why I was telling Jesse was it just that you have a problem When things are good. No, what when I was telling Jesse was what my therapist said right is I have a lot of Compulsive thoughts or impulsive thoughts, which is Which is normally said a lot of people think about their life being different a lot of people think about for a moment of their day Oh, what would I look like in a different house? What would I look like with a different life? That's very normal He said the difference is you act on it you and you and the thoughts it gets stuck in your head In your thought loop he was like so really the only difference between you and someone who's more normal is they're not acting out on the thought And it's not stuck in a time loop in their head. So for you that's why he thinks meditation He believes in lexapro and settling the thoughts down. He's like you need like he used your word He said you just need some more space. He said because in a way You theoretically on paper are living life to the fullest because you're doing a lot of things people would never do Like but he said it's causing you a lot of pain and harm if you were if you love these decisions And you were like I keep climbing in my life because he said really about life It's just how you perceive it You could say look at all these things I'm doing and jumping up in my family And I'm making my kids stronger by moving them and all that you could see it that way and you could feel great But you don't you see it another way So that's where it becomes like a problem for you so but he said the really did after talking to you It's your brain is not so abnormal. It's just you're acting on these thoughts that we all have like my my therapist like I don't like the office that we're in he's like I always think we should change it But I got a good deal here on the rent and I just accept what is he was like you don't like to accept what is You try to change it all which is good. That's a characteristic which has driven you in life But it causes you problems. Do you think have you ever heard of the Benjamin Franklin effect? What like I'm get syphilis That's one of them. Yeah, that's one of them the other. It's called the bet. It's a cognitive bias And it's one of my favorite because it's so Counterintuitive, okay, right. I'm a fucking shit all our life. Yeah. Don't you want to give me a good smack yet? God, I want to smack you around like Simultman so It's this counterintuitive cognitive bias that the more You help someone okay the more you help someone the more you end up The more favors you do someone, the more you help someone, the more advice you give them, the more favors, whatever it is, the kinder you are to someone, or the more you give someone, the more you actually get attached to that person, then that person gets attached to you. So what are you saying? Is this the therapist example? No, I'm using it as an example of, like, how does it apply to what I just said? It may apply, I'm just wondering if it's subconsciously or consciously, like you're such a likable guy. Okay. Like it may, it may make you more likable to people. You may be aware of that in some way. Okay. Like, I don't know if it's kind of how does it affect me negatively, though, it doesn't affect you negatively, because you're saying I start to like them more than they like me. I'm saying, like, because you're always someone who's saying, like, I should do this, I should do this, and you're saying you're telling everybody it, you're saying all your thoughts. Right. So you're asking people to sort of help you with these decisions, give you advice, you know, career, and that makes them like me more because they can help me, but I'm really like, I'm not helping myself. Right. It just makes, it's called the best. So it started, it's, this is a good FH, FH, it's a psychological phenomenon where a person starts to like someone more after doing them a favor, driven by cognitive dissonance and the need to rationalize their helpful behavior. It's a very interesting thing because they theorize that, like, if I'm giving you advice, I'm giving you my time, so I'm making an investment in you, and people start to like the thing that they invest in. So if I'm, if you're seeking advice from me, or if you're asking me to help you with something, or give you, or you want a favor from me, and I actually do the favor, and the reason why it's counterintuitive, because you would think that since I did you the favor. And now I could be doing you know, that you would like me more, but as a, but as it turns out, it's actually I like you, even though you're the one who's helping me. Exactly. That's interesting. That's what they call the Benjamin Franklin. It happened because he asked to borrow a rare and scarce book from his rivals personal library, the rival agreed. Franklin returned it a week later with a polite note of thanks, and the two became close friends after. So it's named after that. And then Franklin famously summarized when he wrote about it. He is, he that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than him who you yourself have a bludge. And we see that a lot, right? Like even with families, like you'll see that, like your mom will do things for you, but for some reason you'll want to chase the person who doesn't do anything for you. Right. Very weird. But the person who do do does things for you. They're liking you more. Right. And look at it. So and then for some reason we take it for granted. It's a really weird thing. That's interesting. I mean, because I don't know about anything at Benjamin Franklin. I really like. Yeah. Isn't that interesting? No, that is. That is interesting. Yeah. I mean, I mean, I guess I'm saying, is it maybe like just a thing where like you engage people so people are listening and then they like you more. You know, me. I think so. One thing I've noticed because there's no problems in your life, whether you're in stand on where you're in Queens or or currently. Yeah. Like it's all good. It's all good. There's no like there's pros and cons in all of them. Well, I know because my accountant keeps telling me because if you're in Queens, like you were. What's what it is? Cackle that. Yeah. That's a patriotic. Yeah. And that's a joke. And that's a joke. Yeah. Yeah. So there's always. Well, I know and you know, it's one of those things where sometimes my brain won't let me accept the truth. Like I keep worrying about money and my finances and collapsing and all that. My account keeps telling me I will tell you when you have when you're under six months of expenses, like when you don't have six months of your life to pay for that's like the golden rule. I will tell you when we are approaching that I will tell you if you don't hear from me about that, you're good. I will tell you months and months and months in advance that you will have an escape plan. But in my brain every I'll wake up in the middle of the night and be like, I don't have the money to pay for this place. I can't and so my brain is always making these false realities real. And it's because I was telling Jesse I was I was recommended to read the book, the body keeps the score. Oh, my faith. Yeah. So I read it. I've been reading it and it's because of some past triggers and traumas that we have yet to discover. That I have this physical response because the brain doesn't know English. The brain goes by feeling and the brain one of these old trap thought loops will pop into your head in the middle of the night or randomly. And you start to feel the symptoms of it and your brain then takes the ear takes the irrational and makes it rational. The brain forgets the fact that your account said you're okay and says, no, but remember that fear from 10 years ago when you really weren't. Hey, that's back. Right, right. So I have to. So what I'll do is I do. I tap my feet. Tap my feet like this. Feel different cessation. I'll tap my chest like this. And then I'll close my eyes. Take a deep breath in deep breath out box breathing. And then I'll think about what are the senses I can feel in the room. What can I smell? You honestly shit. What? What can I taste? I can taste some leftover tomato sauce from the pizza. What can I? What can I feel? I feel my knee flaring up a little bit from the F 45 class I took today where I did step up so too much weight. You know, when I open my eyes, what can I see? Where are the colors? I can identify. I can identify green. I can identify brown. I can identify Jill. What can I see? I then the body breaks out of the trauma. Right. Right. What it is. Yeah, it's yeah, I think it's called four things you can see. Three things you can smell. Yeah, yeah, you bring yourself back to the present. Yeah, which I never do because what I but that's why it's interesting is any time I was having like severe anxiety like bed anxiety. When I was my anxiety forever when I was in my 20s would be if the girlfriend whatever girl I was dating at that time if I texted her and she didn't text me back. You thought she was dead within three or four minutes. I thought she was dead. And the only way that I could escape that anxiety is the phone. I would have to put the phone like in my house and just go walk. And as I was walking, I would say when you get back in 30 minutes, she'll text you. And I would run and the anticipatory anxiety my heart would be like this. I like couldn't even see was like tunnel vision to look at the phone and see a text from her. And then the anxiety would immediately drop to the floor. But if I didn't see text from her, I would go back and repeat the process and go over and over and over again. Yeah, it's childhood childhood, but it comes from some type of childhood trauma that I have yet to discover childhood trauma is a weird thing because you never felt that. Oh, but what phone? No, no, no, it's excellent. It's manifested in different ways. Different ways. I mean, you're not talking to the hierarchal president. I mean, I'm a client. I'm a client. I'm a client. So you would feel it doing different things. Oh, dear. Yeah. I mean, you know, I was I've had some traumatic things happen. I've also had trauma passed down from two parents who were war survived. That's that's the new science team is like it's some of it was just in our DNA. We were born with that. Sometimes you're reacting to not even your own memory. Yeah. Or it's it's even just it's not even verbal. It's sort of like you just pick it up when you're young through the mirror neurons of your parents. Right. So your brain, the caregivers, you know, you just we have these things called mirror neurons before when we're preverbal. So now they have a category called preverbal trauma, which of course you're not going to remember. But, you know, there's an imprint on you that happens just from you your mirror neurons mirroring the neurons of your parents. Right. So you end up, you know, incorporating maybe some of their coping mechanisms. I mean, look, anxiety is about being in survival mode when you don't need to be in survival mode. That's what it is. That's really what it is. Yeah. And it's a misfiring of your nervous system. And you got to figure out what that is. And then incorporate it into personality. And what young called incorporating the shadow. We have a shadow. Integrating. Sorry. Not incorporating. Integrating your shadow. The problem is though right now is when I'm coming into the world of my oldest daughter is 11. So she's starting to go out. You know, take just walks in the daytime with her friends to the town and it that anxiety like that's starting to come back. Right. So I got to get it under control. And Alexa Pro seems to be the answer. Because it's one thing to know like, okay, an adult is probably going to be okay and you're making things up. It's another thing to know like a child who's your own child. If you don't hear from them immediately, if their iPhone, I watched his malfunctioning and you don't know where they are, it's panic mode. Can I can I give you a little something that I learned? Yeah. First of all, Lexa Pro mandatory. Yeah. That's what we call a restraining order against you. Yeah. And that's Lexa Pro. Yeah. So Mandy, this is on top of the Lexa Pro. Yeah. What really was a shift for me is when I realized when I have those negative thoughts or those anxieties, it's a what is in a reaction to you have two options at that point. Right. So you have anxiety about your daughter and her safety. So you could focus just rational, completely rash. That's about to be my point. Right. My point. That means so it's a rational thought. See if two options in that moment, you can follow that feeling, right. Which is created a thought that does not exist based on a feeling or you could say, what is that feeling a response to? What's the true root of that feeling? And I'll tell you what the true root of that feeling is, you love your daughter. Right. You love your daughter more than anything. Right. You love your daughter the way Jesus loves you. Yes. And which is eternal, which is eternal. You love her so much that it produced the fear that then created the thoughts. Okay. So instead of focusing on the thought that was created the fear that doesn't exist, it's not in the moment nothing. Nothing. thing exists outside of the moment. Also, the future never comes. We're always in the present moving forward. The future is always in our head. We never arrive in the future. You're always in the now. It's just then, but it's still the now. So then you go to the root, which is the reality. You connect to the feeling that produced the fear and that's love. And you love her so much, you focus on that love. And then you let go. You let go and you say, this isn't nothing is guaranteed. I love her and you focus on the love. So yeah, because I've noticed Jasmine. And then there's no room for anything else. Yeah, because in those same moments, Jasmine is never nervous. She's always okay. She's always like, Chris, she's fine. So I'm like, how do I get to that? Jasmine, she doesn't have an anxiety. That's a one tool that you can do on the left because it's the truth. What I just gave you is actually the truth of the scenario. It's the truth of what's happened. You think so exactly the anatomy of that particular scenario, you love your daughter so much, right? You cared about, you care about people so much. It's hard for you to even admit. Right. It's because it makes you very vulnerable because love requires trust. There's risk. Someone could betray. Someone can hurt you. Right. Instead of accepting that vulnerability, we build all these anxieties, defense mechanisms, whatever we do because it hurts so much. And some people who have big hearts are very sensitive, get very hurt. And at some point, they got hurt so they built the whole coping mechanisms. Whatever they did, they did. So everybody's got a different story. But the, but the if you strip everything down, right? You loved your girlfriend or you really liked your girlfriend. So you didn't want anything bad to happen here. So instead of focusing on that love, which makes you feel vulnerable, you tried to focus on control which you have none of, right? You don't have that. So you're lost in a delusion at that. Yeah. Yeah. That's one thing I notice because I would always, I would only hit me later on in life is I would always find it very annoying when guys would be like, my girlfriend's cheating on me. If she doesn't call me back, she's fucking cheating on me and they would get all this anxiety. I'd be like, fuck this bitch. She's cheating on me if she didn't call him back. But I never thought that I was, I never thought they were cheating on me. I just thought that they're dead. But I realized it's the same thing. It's control. It's just the same thing. He's trying to control us. They were dead. They laughed at that. That is funny. That's just how my brain. I just thought they were dead. With that, but that's wild, right? That's actually shows that you're a caring guy and you didn't want them to die. The ones who are thinking that they're cheating are more insecure. So you don't have that insecurity because you know you're a fun, good looking guy. And so you didn't, you just thought highly of yourself. Your mom gave you that confidence. You're the best, Chris. You fucking, she shined light on you. Yeah. So you through Jesus Christ. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. But you, you had a fear something bad was going to happen to her because you really liked her. So you're worried about someone else who's good. So focusing on the love feeling when you have that fear is that'll be helpful because that is what you have to the thing that we're most scared of is love. The reason why we're so scared of it is because it makes us so vulnerable. Right. Right. It's like you can try to control everyone. What are people doing when they're really trying to control other people? What are they really trying to do? They're trying to control how do you control another person? You can't control an event. How do you control any this shit? What if a fucking, how do you, how do you control anything? You can only just fucking be in the love. Baby, that's it. That's it. That's all you can be. But it's the scariest thing because there's so much risk in it. Every time you commit to something, there's a big risk that someone's going to fuck you. Right. So sometimes someone fucked you in the past and then you get traumatized by it and then you see these bitter people. Right. That's how they become bitter. It's like they're living in the past. Right. So you got to let go and just go, I love my daughter so much. And then you cry about that and you keep focusing on that because that is actually what is how that's really what is the truth. If you didn't care about your daughter, you know, you're not thinking about no offense, but you're not thinking if Jesse's going to live tomorrow when he goes out for dinner or when he goes to the bar and has a whiskey. Yeah. Right. Because you don't love Jesse. Right. Right. You know, because he's Jewish. Yeah. He's have Jewish. Yeah. So, but you love your daughter. So you're having that exact love. You love your daughter. So I learned from that because I was I would have those negative. I actually had something similar. I was laying in my daughter. I've used it for as and you have to proactively do it. And it really does work. You just get control your mind. And because it's a true thing, it helps to know it's true. And then you just, you get because bad feelings are usually just delusions. They don't exist. Right. So I was laying in my daughter and I had a similar thought. This was like two weeks ago, whatever. This is one of the most recent times I used it. And I just had this thought of like, you know, something bad happened or it's like that, you know, it's and it fucking, I mean, the fear that goes through you and she was right there next to me. And then I use the tool. And then I was I use the tool where I went, oh, this is why this happened is I love her so much. I feel vulnerable because I love her so much. Right. That's what love is. I'm vulnerable. Yeah. I'm vulnerable. You know, that's my weeks, but you come to my family. I'm completely vulnerable. Right. Something I care about. Right. What can I do? Right. I have to protect it. I have to make sure I'm so vulnerable. Right. And so I just sat there in that feeling and just accepted that feeling. And I felt this just unbelievable immense love for my daughter. And I just appreciated it. And I accepted the way things are. And I was just very happy that I had meaningful things in my life. Yeah. I was very grateful and the fear turned to love then. Fear turned to love. Exactly. Exactly what happened. That's what it is. And then you put them in bed. You went down stairs and you turned on a little Jeannie Bouchard. That's what we did. What it is. Patreon names coming up, baby. Yeah. That was a fun episode. We're supposed to talk about the battle of Hastings. But instead, Yani took multiple shifts and talked to him about love versus fear. All right. As always, we have a lot of fun with the Patreon. We love it when you guys make these funny names and you know, may the best person win. So first got lean off the list. Hyena Patricia Aguar. Then we got abandoned my Afro Chinese baby AK Ding Dong Ditch. We've had that one. Yeah. We've had it. My dog profiles two in the pink and a fist in my stink. It's a dress right off the bat. Almost. Then we got anonymous Rob Bonta, Christian Martinez, Pete. Then we got George Eos Bush. Let me consult my Dick Cheney. Oh, back nice. Yeah. That's an old episode. Go listen to that. Then we got Blue Choo Jew that shoots no glue. Put them on the list. Yeah. Yeah. Put the blue Choo. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Paul Chris Cromwell, Eric Barnaby, Nate Allen, Roy Chappelle, Kodiak Kelly. Then we got my German Shepherd Quarter Frisbee at the park. List it. List what it is. What it is. It's just funny. It's just what it is. Yeah. Hal Collins, Lucas Pooleyn, Yan Solo, and Glubaka. Oh, Yan Solo and Glubaka. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You see what happened is we let some people in. Yeah. Yeah. The list is America. We're letting you in. Yeah. And I want to give a shout out to my friend, Raya, who I saw in Portland, Maine, her and her husband listened to this. They are very, very, very practicing devout synagogue going Jews. And they love our podcast. And they said the anti-Semitism mixed them laugh hard in their car. So, so they said that they really enjoy it. I appreciate we're here for a good time. We don't want to really hurt anyone's feelings. Yeah. Doug Bailey, Tony Soprano's piece, A.K.A. Gobba Glue Gunn. Oh, by the way, there was a Jew who came to my show as well. Like a Yolk and everything. He had a big star David change. Yeah. He they flew from New York to the show in Austin. And I saw them on the returning flight on the way back. So, shout out to him. So, I mean, you know, the frisbee's love us cause just what it is. Yeah. Okay. Gobba Glue Gunn. Not going to make it. Tony Soprano. Tony Soprano's piece, A.K.A. Gobba Glue Gunn. That's not going to be it. Okay. It's a good try though. Matt Wantak, Lou Dog, Joseph Adams, Joanne Carrigan, Lexa Prone, numbed my glue gun. She's just a symptom, right? Yeah. What happens? Then we got four kids under six, snipped on Wednesday, laid up on Thursday, gay on Friday, Drexler Drexler, Dalline Schmidt, Justin Reeves. Then we got Israel read the fine retirement community with Gaza. Get it. I don't get it. Johnny Kuhn. Oh, yeah, I get it. Yeah. It's a little harsh. Yeah. Genghis Khan's only fans. Okay. Blind celebration call it not C party. Got it. Try it. Martin. We got to have a name for those. That's like a good cut. You know, what is it? Yeah, like a letter rip. It's a guy who took a cut. It's a home run swing. Yeah, home run swing. Then we got help. Candace Owens thinks I'm trans. Okay. Colin Shea, ghost me daddy. The dead Kennedys stained like the jerk couch called meyani puddles. Okay. Eric Trabah, Sam Lewis, Martin, early Hadecki, Matsui's, Wei Shanshi, and Pornke Shea. Got mugged by an ex-con. Some things never change. I'm going to list it. Okay. Yeah, we're we're in a new era where we're just going funny. Just what it is. Yeah. If you don't know what a ding is and you can have to just go back and listen to episodes where we just we just coined the term things over the figures. It didn't could be anything. You see, whatever is in your imagination, we never specified what a ding is. No, it didn't. It could be anything you wanted to see if your neighborhood can be dinged up. That's what's just all in it. Um, Santino, Luke, the boy, Michael, Big Peter, James Black, my sister ate my lunch. Fuck you, Courtney. Uh, uh, Drex. Yeah. Um, Bradley. Okay. We're not going to go that far. Sorry about that. Yeah. Uh, please refund my five dollars so I can afford this lady boy. Uh, Drexler. That's what it is. Travis Harvey, Josh Payne, Philip Dixon, Dylan Janney, Zabs McGee, Jackson Tate, Thought Latin X was Venezuelan space program is OK. Yes. [LAUGHTER] list. It's a contender. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What our Latinx could be, or it could be, uh, you know, the Latin version of, uh, Elon Musk. Yeah, they said Latin dash X. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's his contender. Jay Conley, Jonah, Tyler W. Matthew Madsen, Matt Braim, Steve De LaCerta, Dustin Laffin, Scrutin, Skeleton, Sour Faced Brods, make my Jay, Zadongoshi, uh, Throb Marley, Bam, Ab Marley chicken thing. Good. I like. Yeah. Bam, Bam, Jimmy Jam, Aiden Celestino, Chrissy D's Merkin, Leroy Sealing Cricket Service, battery, not included. Uh-huh. Steven Syrac, Chris Hartford, SMW. My Leroy Stick was named Jamal. Um, everyone's got a different name. What was yours named? What, why am I in Dick's name? No, you're Leroy Stick that your dad used. Oh, it was called Leroy. He named it Leroy. It was approved. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Dino, the sauce monkey. Well, that was that one. Sorry. Got it. Jack Kluxy, Carson Weight, Philip, Pizzolato, Matt Burkett, Grindr, AK, Gloober Eats. List it. Yep. Gloober Eats. Gloober Eats. List it. Yeah. Strong list. Brendan Marr, Salran Mamdani, Lord of the Dings, Sal, um, limp, when I'm inside, make no mistake. I wish I was a Leroy. Tim Blake Denny, Leroy Lyle Pop, aka crack pipe. That's top notch. We're going to do is we're going to quietly put that one in. Some of them we have to quietly put that in. Uh, then we got it's what it is. Martin Luther King. And then it's just what it is. We're going to, we're going to quietly put that on last. Last but not least, I'm just here for the Cyclops. Okay. I'm going to check and figure that. Okay. So here's the list. Uh-huh. So we got Blue Choo, Jew, that's chutes, no glue. We're going to keep him around. Okay. My German Shepherd Court of Frisbee at the park, keeping him around, uh, Yon Solo and Gulabaka. Okay. We're going to direct through that. Okay. Good one though. Any other day. Sorry. Got mug buying X con. Some dings. Never changed. We're going to keep it around. Yeah. Uh, thought Latin X was Venezuelan space program. SLOK ads. Leroy Lyle Pop aka crack pipe and Martin Luther King. Okay. Martin Luther King. We're going to direct through you. Unfortunately, but not because it's not a really good name. It's because. Yeah. It's the name up in light's problem that we have. And also grind our AK Gloober Eats. Oh, Gloober Eats. We're going to, we're going to direct through you. Okay. But I mean, I hate, I hate, I hate it. I don't do this without mixed emotions. Okay. So there's five in the finals and it's, I'll read them all out. Thought Latin X was Venezuelan space program. SLOK S. Blue Chuju. That shoots no glue. Blue Chuju. That shoots no glue. Yeah. It's, I'm sorry. I hate doing it. My German shepherd caught a frisbee at the park. We got to keep that around because it's kind of like they're not really saying anything, you know, anything, unless you listen to this podcast and they're saying something pretty crazy. Some dings never change. We're going to direct some things never change. This is one of the toughest, you know, this is tough. It gets harder every week. Tough bracket. Yeah. And that and then Leroy Lollipop aka crack pipe. So that was just way funny. Yeah. It's just way funny. Yeah. So I'm going to keep that around for now. Yeah. So we're down to Thought Latin X was Venezuelan space program. Leroy Lollipop aka crack pipe. Okay. Okay. So we got three. Okay. Should we just try to pick one because we've been putting so many fans. We got to stop up and just make a decision here. Let's let's you know, let's do this as a group. Okay. So my thought just because I thought they're all three are fantastic, but just because it's even though it's saying a horrific thing, it is the safest choice is my German shepherd caught a frisbee at the park. The safest thing because you put that name up in lights, they say, okay, what a sweet show. Sweet show. The guy plays fetch with his dog. And he's talking about a frisbee. Yeah. So I agree with that. What do you think? I like Latin X. I mean, it's a nice choice. Crack pipe one is it's just real aggressive. That's a good one. That one's out. That's right. Yeah. It's really funny as hell. But if you want to fans want to feel free to, you know, make any art with Leroy Lollipop, that's up to you. If you want to make art at any of these, it's up to you. Yeah. We, you know, what I go there for my own, you want to do what the truth is, I go to our Patreon for entertainment for me. Yeah. That's what I say. It's entertained me. Oh, yeah. This is like I can honestly say check in, have a good time. Well, how many times like people will say like, oh, your show helps us so much. And it's really amazing here. But this is truly an instance where this show helps me. The fans help me as much as I help that. No, I'm not even I'm not even making that up. Like I will go there and enjoy what they say. I mean, we got funny fans. Yeah. Some of the pictures we posted today, of me and drag, I'm sure I'm going to make it. Yeah. It really like, they make me happy. So what's the, because Jesse has Latinx, I have German Shepherd. So there's the only two left comes down to you. You are the deciding vote. You have to make decision, unfortunately. Latinx made me laugh really hard. But I agree with what you're saying. I think it's really funny. I think we don't often do a very inside one. Right. So I think the reason is what makes that so funny is what you said. Yeah. If somebody comes across that, they're just going to be like, what a sweet. They have no idea that they're, they have no idea what they're looking at. Yeah. So I'm going, I'm going with that one. Okay. So congratulations. Go to history. Hyenas is back.com to see your name up in lights. My German Shepherd Court of Frisbee at the park. Because I also think that's part of it's such a simple one, but it's loaded. So I think that was part of what he was doing. What he graduated. Right. And he's very specific with the breed of dog and everything. Yes. So congrats. And we'll be here next week.