Laos w/ Danny Polishchuk | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

(laughs) - So fucking bad. - Hell. - It's real good easier. - Yeah, for sure. - Yeah. - It'll be like, buh buh buh buh buh. The first time I was at the commas store and they taught me the system to ring people in, I had to write it down and like, okay, press that and then you ring up, and then by the end I was like, - Yeah, for you, it's probably like muscle memory, whatever. ♪ Where you been and where you going ♪ ♪ This is our race travel show yeah ♪ ♪ We're gonna talk about travel today ♪ ♪ You'll be driven yeah ♪ - Hello ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the world's only travel podcast. The podcast is the internet radio, if you don't know what it is. And today I have on my friend and a colleague, stand-up comedian extraordinaire, the host, well, then I'll do that after Danny Polisher. - Hello. - And he's gonna take us to Laos? - Yes. - Fuck. - Yes, I love Southeast Asia. You can check out Danny on Instagram at DannyJokes. - 2.0. - 2.0? - For now. - Danny Jokes. - That's it, on Twitter, if you're still on the fucking Worcite in America, if you're looking to be angry at everything, someone's a meal. - You like to watch murders? - Yeah. - But we're not talking about his beltable podcast, called The Boys Cast. - The Bath House. - The Bath House, a Colin show and the Lo Valley. - Lo Valley. - Lo Valley Mail. We're here to talk about travel. And we're gonna go to Laos Southeast Asia. Here we go. What year was this? - Wow, so this is, I went in 2007 right after I graduated college, me and my girlfriend at the time. We went on a trip of Asia and we went on. - Not just a four months. - That's fucking great. That's great. - I like that you're into that shit, 'cause I'm really into that shit and I know now I'm like, I don't think my life's set up, like my current, my fiance, she's not about like going somewhere for. - She's glitzy. - She's a chap. - She's a chap, yeah. - She's just a chap. - I like her, but that is definitely like. - She's just a chap, it's just what it is. - I can see her going, I mean I'm speaking out of turn for sure, but I can see her going. - No, no. Like I was like, let's go backpacking. She would never be like, let's go backpacking anywhere. That would never be on the table. Nothing that's, you know. - She's like, you can model new offspring backpacks, but if that's what you mean, which I doubt. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like she's gold over the wrong. And she's down for like, to go on trips and stuff. Like we went to Europe recently, but she's more of like a, a Malfi coast. - Europe is such a different trip than Southeast Asia. - Oh, way different, way different. - So four months, this is great. - So we started in Beijing. - What period of your life was this? - This is 2007, so I just graduated from college. - From college. - So kind of perfect time to do it. - The best time, like if you're that age, just like, you know, everybody told me at the time, you're like, you're not going to be able to really. - What are you giving up? You're just starting a little later. You're not ruining a job. You're getting a job after. - Exactly, like nothing's given up, but there's never going to be an easier time in your life to really go do something like this where there's no like real repercussions of anything. - Yeah. - So me and my girlfriend, - I met some Canadian girls in Myanmar. - Yeah. - For Canadian, they were 18 and five, maybe four of 'em. And I was like, how are you doing this? Two of them were on a year-long trip, and they're like, it's our gap year. I'm like, oh, Americans, we don't get gap years. - Yeah. - And they're like, we don't get gap years. - Yeah, you're making a mural. - Of course, of course, you should make a gap year. Which some people will be like, oh, well, you know, I don't know how it works. There's some colleges like not gonna admit you because you took a year off, but this was just, you know, this, essentially the summer after my last year of, or I guess slightly after the summer, but it was September of 2007. - Yeah. - And so we started, I had a friend from college who lived in Beijing, who went from college in Canada, who lived in Beijing. So we went there, that was the first-- - It's Beijing first. - Yeah, so that was the first thing we did, yeah. Flew into Beijing was there for a week, then went to Shion, which is like the Terracotta Warriors. - Oh, wow. - You know what I'm talking about? I have a photo, I think. - Yeah, let me see. - Let me bring a photo. - Let me see. I was too far away when I was in Beijing where I did meet Desbishop that first time. - Let's see where she, oh, here she is. - This is Shion. So this is the famous Terracotta Warriors. - And that's, they have a restaurant called Shion. - Yeah, that's, oh, Shion, fine foods. There's everywhere around here. They have multiple different foods. - It's this region. - It's this region of China. It's like central China, I think. - Wow. - And so they're big things there. - And they just unearth those? - Yeah, so in the '70s, I believe it's in the '70s, a farmer found, a farmer found, like was digging and found, dug up one of these statues, right? And then started digging and found like 20,000 of these statues. They're called the Terracotta Warriors. They're all, so it's like, this is like an airport hanger. - What? - That's where they were, did they move them there? - No, no, that's where they were. They built an airport hanger around them, 'cause it's like, now there's this tourist thing and they're trying to dig them up. So they, it's pretty fucking crazy. They all have different faces. - Yeah, you can go in. - Yeah, so you can't, let me see if I can see the, oh, here we go, here's a good one. So literally, the faces, they're all different. - Wow. - You would think they'd be the same. - You'd think they'd be the same, just for ease of like. What, are they modeled off people? - Yeah, they're the stone warriors. So this like king, I might be butchering the story a little bit, but essentially this like, king dude, this guy right here. So he died. - He was very square, I could see why he became a king. - He died, and then to protect him in like the afterlife or his body or whatever, they built, or they constructed these Terracotta Warriors, they're all facing one direction, right? They're all facing the same direction, and to their back is his tomb, which is circled by a mercury river. It's like in this cave with a mercury river, so that nobody would fuck with his body essentially, and they built thousands and thousands of these, these Terracotta Warriors. - That's so much different than like, what do you want to do when you die? Like chuck me in the fucking woods. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's just my empty body. - And they're have, I think they have even more, like they probably, this is 2007, and they probably found more of them, but they're just like difficult to on earth. - Yeah, they all have different faces. - And so, it's like if you came to like, oh shit, there's a bunch of warriors guarding this. Let's turn back. - I guess that's what you see from a distance, is you just see fucking fountains of thousands. I don't know if-- - Well, you just once get so fucking-- - Yeah, but the thing is, they built it after he died, which is so crazy, and then tons of like horses and-- - And she went there first and just started. - So we went to Beijing first, so actually this photo, this is a funny story. So this was my first day. It's first or second day. So this story right here was, I think the second day, my friend worked at job in Beijing, so he was during the day. He's like, you know, go fuck around, and like, we'll hang out at night, but, you know, like, he's gotta work during the day. So, and we were so jet lagged. We're like, you know what? The first thing you do is you go to the Forbidden City, which is, you know, where the Tiamen Square. - Uh-huh. - Right, like the famous, like, whether guy didn't get killed. - Yeah. My favorite thing about that is I walked through, looking for Tiamen Square, and I was like, where the fuck is? And I was like, where's Tiamen Square? I was like, what's that? I'm like, well, there's no notice of what happened. And he's like, what happened? - Yeah, they're like, nothing happened. - Nothing happened, Ari. (laughing) But yeah, so we're, okay. Yeah, yeah, so anyways, we're walking around, just, you know, taking in the sights or whatever, and it's so funny I look back because we're just like, such, like, I don't know, maybe just like a young thing, 'cause I'm fairly, you know, we'll eat like a lot of different foods and stuff, and then for whatever reason, we like, the first thing we decided to do is just go eat like KFC. We're like in China, and then I'm like, you know what I'm gonna do? Let's go get some KFC. 'Cause they love-- - Such trash. - I know, so trashy. It's so trashy. - Was it different? - Yeah, it's all dark, it's all dark. - It's all dark meat. - All dark meat. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they love KFC, and Asia loves KFC. Like, it was like one of the biggest restaurants there. At the time, I don't know if that's changed. But so we're walking around the forbidden city, and we're like, you know, I'm 22. - It's cool that we've been city. - Yeah, they've reduced stuff to-- - And then they have the old forbidden city, but so we're walking around, and then this couple comes up to us, like this young, like probably our age, like college looking couple. - Chinese. - Chinese, yeah. And they go, hey, where you guys from? And we're like over from Canada, you know, we're trying to work on our English, because that's, and that was like a big thing. This is right before the Olympics. They're like, we're trying to work on our English. Can we, like, just walk around with you and just talk English with you? And we're like, sure, I don't see the harm in that. - What a fucking 22-year-old thing. - Yeah, they go-- - No, we're kind of doing our thing. - Yeah, yeah, they go, and we were like our first day, kind of a second day. So anyways, we're walking around with them, and they're just like, they're kind of pointing some things out, they go, this is this, or whatever. And then we kind of got into like that old, there's like, I think the old forbidden city, and we're walking around, and they go, have you, what do you have planned for while you're here? And we're like, you know, we're gonna go see the Great Wall of China, and just whatever, and they go, are you gonna do a traditional tea ceremony? And we're like, no, I'm like, I never, I've never heard of that. Oh, you should, you should, oh, do it. It's like a really authentic Chinese thing to do, right? So then we're walking more, and they go, you know what? They're like, there's actually, they do one right over here. (laughing) They do one right over here. - If I hadn't fallen for this exact kind of thing in Bangkok, the rest of them, they go, they do one right. And we're like, actually, Mark, do you think they would, yeah, maybe they, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It crazy. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, some people come out. - So they do, and we run this like, we're underground mall, it was like a mall kind of like, not like, what we think of a mall, but like a little outdoorsy, but like, indoor mall thing. So anyways, they're like, we do, we do, they do one here, like, would you like to see it? And like, I thought they were like, inviting us, 'cause we were kind of like, becoming friendly with them, right? So they're like, we're just like, see, I'm like, oh, sure, right? So we go up to, this wooden center stairs, We walk. There's room and this is this is the tea ceremony right here. This is the Chinese. This is the girl who did it. So she comes out and You can see like so she she has her like tea here. Yeah, and there's these little cups like there's shot there's shot glasses Essentially and so the four of us these two couples were sitting at this table around her and she you know She's saying some shit and and they had like these little cups of They're like these they're not candied peanuts, but they're like they have some shell on them if you're like they're like some Chinese style yeah, yeah with like a shell Okay, is that what it is? Yeah, okay, so anyways, they have these like nuts and like seeds They have these like a peanut wrapped in something. Yeah, but it's not candy. Yeah, it's like some short Yeah, some spicy. Yeah, so yeah, something is spicy. So we're like I'm like yeah, so I'm like eating these knots And then she she serves us a cup of tea and you taste it and you're like mmm, you know Right, and then she goes on to the I love is you have to act way more than if you just alone I have a pizza story you come like what? I'm not even like a big tea guy. Yeah, right? So I'm like oh, yeah, but I'm you know new and I don't want to be like a You know, so I want to fit in or whatever respect their culture. So then she does another thing of tea Try it same thing and I'm just eating these nuts and then like another one and Then at some point I realized this isn't free like at some point this comes on my mind and go You know what this isn't gonna be free and like I we had left the house in my friend's house like I think I had Maybe like 200 US dollars on me. Yeah, right? So in my mind I'm like this isn't gonna be free. So then I say they go do you want anymore? And I go you know what? We're okay. Just like get get the end the guy goes. Oh, okay. I'll grab the check or whatever the check comes it's like two grand US for like dude, they itemize every single peanut. They're like you ate 38 peanuts at a dollar a P or $3 a peanut to grand. That's too much of a scan. That's what that's what I'm like and in my mind to go I'm getting fucking scammed for $38. You could have gotten me. I could have like fucking bullshit, but fine. Yeah, 70 dollars. Yeah, whatever two grand It's like this is like an insane scam But so but the thing is is you know the authorities in China I'm like a white guy. I don't and I'm like I don't know this is my first day Second day or something and but I'm just like so the bill comes and I goes and he's like can you cover it? Because I brought you here, and I'm like dude. I don't have this kind of money like I don't I don't travel It's kind of I don't know who you think I am like I don't have this kind of money He's like you want to see like you know what we can split it We'll split it. Yeah, let me get the whole thing from this guy. Yeah, it costs them $4 5 cents. Yeah, so so then it's like so it's like let's see if we get all too grand out of it But if he protests them is like all pay half we'll still get a thousand out of course whatever it is And so then I was like dude. I'm like I'm sorry. I don't have this money He goes okay, you know what like and then he goes he goes you know what just give me whatever you have and and so I gave him like 200 bucks because I gave him everything I had on me and And I'm and the whole time like I'm getting fucking scammed, but I don't know what to do like I don't in my mind It is tough to call me like you know I go fuck yourself and I run out of there and maybe I would have been fine But my friend who lived in China. He's like I told him after he was dying laughing He's like you such a fucking idiot. Hi everybody. I'm breaking into this episode of let you know a little bit about the guest Danny Polyshak. He's one of the best Canadian imports to America since Jim Carrey and great white north They've actually contributed nothing to our society except those two things and now Danny P He's a great traveler as well like all Canadians They don't stick to where they are because they've got really nothing of value there except a president who is now dating Katie Perry I Know it's not a president, but American but we do in America as we try to mispronounce or not learn about your culture That's what makes it special Ten cents by the way to anyone who guess what city I've been Follow Danny on Instagram at Danny jokes or get all those tour dates at Danny comedy I'm sorry Danny P comedy He's also got a bunch of podcasts a live stream call-in podcast Called low-value mail that is on YouTube at YouTube dot com slash at low-value mail With Danny Polyshak wait at YouTube dot com slash at low-value mail, but it's low-value mail with Danny Polyshak I've been on there. It's a call and show. It's fun. It's ridiculous. They do it live at the stand every Monday There's also got the bathhouse on Tuesdays and he's got the boys cast that I've been on a couple times great podcast with Ryan Long the fourth best import From Canada to America from Kerry Great white north Danny Polyshak Ryan Long Oh get Ely You can follow my patreon at boys cast patreon You can also find Danny in the road guys just stand up comic and all we ever want you to do is pay for us to see us live So you can actually see my face this beard is getting out of control He's in Fort Worth on March. There's all tickets are available at Danny P comedy I said Fort Worth Pittsburgh Chicago in Detroit Fort Worth March 13th and 14th the Panther Room Pittsburgh April 9th The comedy bar Chicago April 10th and 11th at the comedy bar and Detroit April 12th at the comedy bar. That's a lot of flying I guess you could drive from Chicago to Detroit Pittsburgh Chicago though It's a long drive. You could do it. You could do it. You could do it Again, Danny P comedy also guys oops, right? Don't forget to subscribe to this podcast. Wherever you're watching a listening to great podcast code you'd be tripping tell a few friends about it We have the trippies coming up at the end of the episode Let's see this I have to do them. I will tell you this episode already nominated or you'll see soon for a trippy for worst trip and for best And for best episode Because this trip was terrible. I mean, I Guess we haven't got to yet, but damn what a terrible way to see Laos, but what an interesting way to see Laos as well Follow us on Instagram at you be chippin pod And that's it get yourself a t-shirt. You'd be tripping t-shirt Check it out. I have one wearing it all over South America one in 10 countries now Maybe 11 possibly 11 I don't know what I was wearing that day anyway That's it. Let's get back to the episode. Danny Polishok in Laos. He's not getting there yet. We're getting there All right, I got the trippies at the end of the episode. Stay tuned for the end of the episode for the trip your words from 2025 the winners Okay, wow look at that. That's further. You can see more foreground my background less foreground more foreground less foreground I'm starting to figure out how to film but you know sometimes the police are corrupt there and you never know and if they know The guys then your fox your fox. Yeah, like you might get we kick back So we're not gonna do it exactly. So anyways, so he goes out in the hallway takes care of the bill And he goes okay, and so we all leave together right because he's like all right and so as we're walking out he's The fucking nerve of this guy as we're walking out. He's like there's hunger. You want to go get lunch? He's like there's a good peaking duck place. I'm like dude. You got all my money. I don't have nothing I have nothing left like my girlfriend was crying because we didn't know she's like how are we gonna get back to the Like hotel. We need to take a taxi or whatever. It's like I don't know. We managed to figure it out She had a we one of us had like a debit card on us and we were like without money, but then the funniest part was a few nights later we were at um We were playing poker at like my friend's friends house in Beijing and then at you know two in the morning We all decided to go to McDonald's and we're in line of McDonald's and there's these these Americans behind us They were talking and like when you're in you know China and you hear other Americans you kind of just like start talking to them And so the guy's like yeah, I've been here for a few days and he's he's from Utah And then there's kind of a wall and the guy's like he's like I have a question. He's like did you uh have you done and I go the tea scam and he goes yes He's like yes, he's like you did that. I know yeah, I go how much did they get you for he's like two grand Because he was like I've reached he was not rich, but he was like uh probably in his 30s 40s kind of dude with his bodies like they were in for work The problem is they can't tell the difference between Like foreign scandals using backpackers and tourists. Yeah, so they think you're all just white guys from America I mean, they're just like look you're a white guy from America. You're here. Yeah, you got tons of money and we did our trip so cheap We went for four months including air for airfare. I spent four grand. Wow. Okay, so let's so that anyway, so that was uh That was China. Yeah, and then you left China. We left we left China. We went to Bangkok right. I don't know. Nothing really. That normal stuff happened. Yeah, in uh Bangkok I went to co-tao co-pignane all the islands or whatever Uh, I will say one thing. There's super disturbing was have you been there? Yeah area. So you know Not co-tao, but so you know the suratani which is where you take the boats you have to like drive from Bangkok You go to this place called suratani. I think that's what it's called and then that's where all well There's they have all the stuff there But then that's where all the like boats leave to go to the islands like that's okay main thing And then walk around there and the amount of just like you would see like some fucking 70-year-old German dude with like two 13 year old girls because this was right when they were starting to be like this is a legal in America to do this shit in Because now oh, yeah, like if you go sex tourism shit in Thailand That's illegal in America now like they will convict you in this country for shit You do in other countries, but it was and there was a guy against it and not against it Because I'm like, I've been like we used to go to Amsterdam to get high or Jamaica, right? Well, this is more morally. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, this is this is way worse than that and this is at the same time There was a guy actually I think from my hometown because there's a big thing in Bangkok where he was posting these videos and like photos of him online Like sexually abusing kids and he swirled his face Like he basically swirled his face and then they somehow like not somehow they unswirled it and then they found him and they like basically Yeah, that's my least favorite thing about Bangkok is to see what's gonna become of them But you see like bunch of seven eight-year-olds at like 2 a.m. So I'm by Agra yeah, and it's like They might not be the ones taking them I should be working But like this isn't this isn't this isn't right. Why are they not going up bed for school? Like sure. Oh, yes cool. Yeah, like you know, it's cool. It was just like to start. I hate my cook. I hate it 20 hour Yeah, Bangkok was 30 pop-pong is gross. It's like you do it, but then I never did it. I'm feeling good So I I didn't I my girlfriend wanted to do the for people You don't like the ping pong when they shoot ping pong balls out of their pussy memories Yeah, and I just there was something about it. I go I don't want to do that Darts you hold up a balloon. They should have dart out pop balloon. I'm like what if you missed your fucking pussy Darts gonna go into my skin Crazy infection What a crazy infection a fucking a tie hooker fucking dark. Oh my god. Yeah, that was literally one where I go I don't good for you. I don't want to do we all marched after our show marched over there They're like, let's go. Let's take these American. I'm like, okay. Yeah, it's like it's something you got to do Yeah, but it was like Yeah, I guess there's something got to do to like on a coson road or whatever and they're like Sunro you gotta do all this stuff someone lit off a fucking thing at tear gas when I was on co-cent road on some point Which is it's I mean it's a fun time like if you're in a fun time especially for your 20s Then it's okay. I actually get old. You start to let stuff in yeah Yeah, yeah, I'm like, you know, just stay away from that was a big thing with drugs there because everybody's like yo Just you know like if you're buying drugs You're probably buying it from a cop or someone with a cop and they're gonna for sure catch you and I met some locals A local expat and his girlfriend who was tied and I was like they arrest you like nah, I just go on the corner Yeah, they're like I'm like I heard if they just see you speak like Those are stories are overdone. Yeah, yeah, because you just know who to buy it from here Yeah, you have to know but like at the one-of-the-full moon parties because they have these at a I just did a podcast about that Oh really? Yeah, and there was I remember someone was telling us like there was to be all this horror stories And I was buying all the books like you know, they sell the the photocopied books Do you remember that what to do? No, no, no, they were so just like some of the kids to make money They literally just sell photocopied versions of books like to make money Yeah, like and you buy them for like a couple bucks, but that's like their racket and then I would buy all the ones of like the guys who got like Their memoirs of getting arrested smell of travel writing is yeah, it's either What a great experience or so here? Let me tell you what a la ocean prison. Yeah, I brought heroin from Australia And spent like watch like a cockroach hatch out of a guy's neck in a fucking Thai prison or some shit But anyways, yeah, the time time it was cool. I went to Chiang Mai Chiang Mai is one of my favorite probably my favorite city there. Awesome. Chiang Mai is super good. I bet it's better than anywhere And what I was gonna do is in Chiang Mai, I went to a I went to The cave lodge is pretty far away. It's their sub-ong and then I heard about I was gonna go to Laos and do what we're about to get to it Yeah, but instead I was like there's like you should go to a Vipassana meditation retreat instead I was like what am I gonna look back on with founder memories and I was like the meditation shit, but was it cool? It was but I do I do miss this thing. Yeah, yeah So because you put go up the Chiang Mai and then over right yeah, yeah, so this is so this is Northern right here. This is we did like a Trailer so this is Northern Thailand. We basically did like a jungle trek. Can you go up? Who those two girls? Randoms these are yeah, so let me see they look so happy. Yeah, so there Not these ones the two whites. Oh the two whites. Yeah right there in the middle. Oh these two girls. Yeah, I don't know They were there were just two girls on our show. Actually this girl in the last two costs. She was a British girl Yeah, Australian and no she was an Australian girl and her boyfriend was Australian and all they did was fight Can I just but they look so fucking happy and free? Yeah, I'm reading it to a Paul. I did his fight Yeah, well another girl in the left five, but he's like you know whatever. So this was you know You book one of those like two-day jungle expeditions from Chiang Mai and then they like pick you up and you go into the jungle And you look at your right no Chiang Mai. Okay, so from Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand Yeah, I love this map. By the way, sir Yeah, and I remember when we were there wanting to go to Myanmar, but they just had a military hunter at the time or whatever and people but someone we met It's not junta. I don't know. I don't know because I recently said something some Spanish word and I pronounced the J and everybody was all over my ass So I don't know what the fucking look at this J. You know what I mean? So so we go to Chiang Mai. We do this like jungle. So this is what this is right here. This jungle track. It's like a group of people Smoked opium, which the guy wouldn't give me the good opium like so because people are like you know addicted to opium in their stuff, right? He so there's just some poop some local pigs or some this is an orphanage. Those are the local pigs Yeah, this was an orphanage actually that we went to And then this was like you just do this jungle track. You sleep there for I think two nights. Well Yeah, they had one of these in Myanmar. Yeah, that's me as a young man. He's fucking nothing pads. That's you. Yeah, that's me right here. Yeah, zoom Let me see fat Danny. Oh so fat fucking full of poutine And then you do this jungle thing and then anybody at and then night There's I think we played us. That's the mirror right there. We played a soccer game with some local children Yeah, some local Thai children or whatever and then they do like part of the thing is they just this is the entertainment for the night Because you're just like sleeping on the floor of like a hut Kind of thing. So and they bring the kids out and they do like some dance and Well stuff. Oh my god It was pretty fun time and then this like our tour guide dude was literally like smoke He's like you can get you smoke you but he wouldn't give us the good opium. He gave us the tourist opium We got to get to Laos. Yeah, okay. So anyway, so we go from here. This oh here's a These show up. What should I do for these trips when somebody's they tell him about that trip and it's like Laos But I'm like well, I want to six places. Well, well, I will say not a lot of super like I'm just getting just because it's the order or whatever So anyways, so you take the slow boat to Laos. It's from From To bed. No, you go to long for a long for a ride. Yeah This is a color What's that column is and that's the river right there. Yes, exactly. So and it's like two days. Is that the make-home? Uh, I don't know. It might be the make-home. I don't know. Yeah You The bird flip flops by free waters Back that ass up You But anyways, so you take that's it's the slow boat. It's two days. So this is drinking you're getting fucked up It's you stop you don't sleep on the the boat though you the first friend I made in Myanmar Yeah, first like friend I made on the trip. It was in Yangon and he told me about this boat Yeah, it's the fun. Yeah, I've already been gone for four or five months. Yeah, he said he goes It's the funnest thing to do he goes my advice is get a bottle of rice wine or something So you can trade booze with people. Yeah, yeah, and you just you sit on this thing. It's like look. It's like wooden benches It's not super comfortable But it's just like it's fine. It's a slow boat. It's slow. It's you're just like meandering down. It's amazing like the scenery is incredible With Mark normally. He would say meandering To prime without taking a mark. Yeah, yeah, look at those boats. Yeah, and so then you would stop I think it was two nights so or maybe it's one night actually one night in a hotel We say like the and so I remember this actually so the boat you dock and for the first night the only night And then there's this mad scramble to find a sideways. I just want to see oh Oh, here we go that I was like this can't be the right setting. Yeah, that's great That's what there's like mad scramble to get accommodations. What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? Because They didn't like essentially there's all these places like the the town that it stops in everybody knows that they're going to have to be putting people up Yeah, but there's various different places some of them are like awesome That you can stay in and some of them were like shit holes and we got like the absolute like just like this Disgusting little dirty Place where it was it was gross like there were like mice and stuff but it was for a night and and Thankfully like my girlfriend at the time she was pretty cool about this stuff. Yeah, she's just like whatever is what it is She knew what she was getting into so then we stay there little that I know on this fucking boat That I'm taking this the slow boat make on river. That's what it is. Oh, he's the make on. Yeah, okay, so little that I know Because I was never big on I didn't take I got all these vaccines before I left like Japanese encephalitis cuz you don't want your brain. This is a little fever. Geoffrey's a sephalitis. I just Engage. No, there was no daddy. Either there was no dengue fever or vaccine. I don't believe there's a dengue fever Vaccines rabies rabies, but the rabies barely helps you. Yeah, the rabies shot says you got to get three of my time It goes hey if you get bitten by a wild dog or a monkey or or Gibbon that's happened to someone I knew yeah, they're like instead of A day and a half to get the 50 shots. Yeah, three days ago. Maybe so have you ever seen someone that has rabies? Like a video someone with rabies. It's insane. It's the scary. It's the closest thing to turning somebody into an actual zombie Yeah, like you like you're dead. It's a death sentence if it hits a certain point because one it's the true like you can't drink You have like aquaphobia so even the thought of drinking like you can't physically drink and then you just like it takes over your mind It's insane. It's like who's that lady in the middle? She's selling food. Uh she is yeah, they she just is like, you know Going up and down who wants to eat kind of. I think so What I love in this whole region is the buses and I get the boats definitely the fairy in like indow They just get on and it's either the fairy. It's like we're not leaving for about an hour So I'm gonna get on sale fucking rice a bunch of shit in my head rice check in whatever and then the buses It's like I'll go with you the next stop. I'll take the next bus stop back And I just do that all day selling food for sure for sure I remember I I don't know where was the bottom left having a fucking blast. Oh, yeah, everybody was having the greatest time I remember one of the buses one time. I don't know where it was. I want to say it's just chairs. They're not just chairs Oh, yeah, they're just with their chairs wickery chairs. So anyways, I got stung. Wow. I got stung by a mosquito This is yeah, this is just on the way there So I used to that's what I was saying so I didn't I took I got malaria pills, but then they give you nightmares They give you nightmares, so then I stopped so I stopped taking them after like Two days, and I was very entering the region where you should be entering. Yeah, and even still now I'm bad Like I'm not a big sunscreen guy like I don't remember to I'm not a big like mosquito repellent or whatever So anyways, I got bit stung by mosquito little than I know I was about to come down with a case of dengue for you No, yes, so Yeah, and so this is so I get to the long for bone and so the long for bone The thing that it's famous for is they have that lazy river. Yeah, right? So they have this like 10 kilometer long lazy river and they have a really nice waterfall So this is the first thing the first day we got there. We went and did this waterfall Which was like incredible and we go and do this water. Wow. Yeah, that's I mean It's it's so interesting like this is a cool picture. Yeah, it's just their poverty Yeah, it's just their poverty and it's they are just normal and they might actually not be poor right when they have multiple cows Yeah, they they have a house like they actually relatively might be right They have a satellite dish. Yeah, those are always cool scene a satellite dish on what looks like fucking Yeah, yeah, the equivalent of third world totally so But yeah, anyway, so you're like whoa cool imagine coming here. I'm like you work at Walmart Yeah, but so I think this is no so this is VN TN So there were not a lot so we we have a gap of lost photos essentially because what happened is we went to there to do the the Tube we got there, you know, like on we were gonna do it the second day and So we did the waterfall the first day because you know, these are like kind of you have a lot packed into the schedule So and this so it's this lazy river where you go down the river For who you rent tubes and everybody they sell magic mushroom shakes everywhere like in the town beforehand It's like magic mushroom shakes and and then the rivers on the banks are lined with people who have little bars So then they like throw ropes and you grab the rope pull your car Pull it on our inner tube you're in an inner tube, but like these big ones and then they you slow slow like how fast you're going pretty slow It's not like super like Super fast water, but it's it's slow and then they you just get wasted like your on magic mushrooms getting wasted It takes like you know several hours. That's how slow it is several hours You're just tubing around and when they pull you under the bar They just give you a drink and you go with it or you go yeah, I think you can go I think maybe you I don't know because I never did it But I think you could probably like give plastic cups and everybody will bring like a ziplock bag with money in it So that's how they like you know, yeah, pay or whatever and And but like people drown every year like yeah, I've always heard about like people It's like well, they're getting drunk. There's no safety no safety like zero safety precautions It's just like not that kind of thing But anyway, so we wake up the next morning to go do this I wake up. I'm like I don't feel right like something is I had I don't remember if it was it was at first. I had the chills or I either start I think what it was because it was you know, did you what 35 Celsius there? Did you just that yeah, which is like about a hundred degrees. Yeah, did you think at that point? food poisoning I don't know what I was thinking I just remember I woke up and I actually know this I'm not feeling that well and so my girlfriend went she's like I'm just gonna go walk around like explore whatever And I'm like I just need a nap and I was had like a hoodie on it was 35 degrees. I had a hoodie on I Was under the covers and I was shivering like crazy like I was like I couldn't I couldn't stop shivering I'm like this is probably not good, right and then Cuz how she comes back she's like okay, and then I think I was like sweating like I was hot like it was going back and forth And so we're like okay We should go they had like a little hospital in Vermont. It's a fucking open air hot Okay, like this is not like Very small town, right? So I mean when they're standing on the floor in a hospital You know you're like dude they put me on the gurney and I was looking up at the sky Wow, I mean nice, but also yeah, yeah, but you're like I'm like I want modern Yeah, and the thing is if you go to bed like Bangkok has some of the most modern hospitals in the world and So first door worlds Bangkok is when you land there like this is very first It is really funny the distinction because people really like that's third world and then you see like their roads and stuff versus What's apparently the first world and you're like it's just like brand new yeah, but so go to the hospital because I'm like I'm not feeling good Go to the hospital and long for wrong Wait then nobody speaks English At all they finally they're like okay come on in I They lay me down on this gurney and then the doctor comes in with 10 like med students, right because they guess I'm gonna be their fucking case for that's how I wasn't Broken Canada like let's put him in a hard cast sounds like hard cast. I mean this was five years ago really yeah And he was just teaching his fucking students how to do a hard cast because fucking American We're not gonna stop guys can get around he goes don't get this wet I'm like I'm going back to New York in February. Yeah, yeah, I'm definitely gonna get it wet really There's no way I'm not gonna get it wet. I step in puddle like yeah, you got to put a bag on it Yeah, and then I got back in the doctor here was like man, he was experimenting on you Let's get this off and let's get you all right. Let's get rid of that. Just shoddy Canadian don't care But anyway, so I go to the hospital when she comes in the doctor is like this older lady with all these med students First thing she does is she takes off. I was I had like a Birkenstock scandal She takes it off and they're passing it around Because they've never seen a shoe this large. Oh, yeah, you know, so they're all like examining my like I felt like a fucking alien How what's your shoe says 12 dude? I had to find new flip flops in Not pen impossible. Yeah, they're like no, and I was 11 and a half like 10 is good But I mean won't do the fucking European conversion, but like but pretty much they're like the equivalent of size 10 is good Like no, like it'll stretch. I'm like not the soul That's a piece of plastic and also not a size in a half. No, maybe a half size or a quarter size I was in Asia like any clothes I bought where I'll triple XL Yeah, yeah, that's what actually like I'll take a large like no like a large there is so anyways I'm in the hospital. She's like passing it around and then she goes and she puts like a blood pressure cuff on me Right, but she can't speak English. She's not telling me what's going on. She's just doing her thing She puts like a blood pressure cuff on me and she Pumps it up as as much as it can go like till it can't go anymore So it's like my arms going totally numb and shit, right? And then she just she just keeps it like that and I'm standing on like what's going on and they can't tell me and she's just holding it I'm like what the fuck is going on and I'm and at that point I go to like rip it off because it's like my arm is going Totally numb and it's like feels all fucked up and she like he swatts my hand away and Then finally after like maybe a minute or two she lets it go and then she takes it off. She looks at my arm and Then she goes you have gang a fever It's what English in English. That's the one thing she knows. She goes you have dengue fever. So she knew the possessive Whatever but so I learned after the fact so normally you've already heard of that I don't think I had I don't think so but so I googled it and essentially so like in the first world if you have dengue fever if thing you have dengue fever They draw your blood and they go and they do a blood test in the third world They do this and then they look at the blood vessels burst per square inch of skin and if you have dengue fever Like a bunch of your blood vessels were burst when they do that on your arm It's like really like old-school way of testing so she wasn't using the thing to take any blood pressure No, she was thinking my blood pressure. She was trying to burst the blood So right away she knew like let's just get the super tight. I think she probably knew she knew what I had Yeah, she had a good idea and dengue fever is fucking everywhere there. It's bad. And if I apparently now, if I ever get it again, I have like a five to 10% chance of dying. - It goes up, right, with the damage it does. - The first, after you have it once, like you are susceptible, the next time you have it, you can die. And it's not a super small chance. - Are there pills to take to stop? - I don't. - Or is it just, it's just deep. - So when I was in Cambodia, I remember there was this dude, he was like a French or like, European composer who like lived in Cambodia and his whole thing was raising money for dengue fever and their only thing that they could do is just nets. It's just mosquito nets that you can slow down, yeah, yeah. - Slow down and they're like, it kills, you know, 50,000 children a year, something insane and all they need is like these nets that cost $2. - And that'll give them eight hours of sleep, nine hours of sleep without being-- - Well, they'll just save their life. They'll just like, they'll just keep-- - 'Cause that's what they come to overnight. - Yeah, and it just keeps the mosquitoes away from them or whatever, even though I don't think I got it overnight, but I could of. But so then anyways, she's like-- - Just condone to the trouble moments. - Yeah, yeah, and so then, so basically she's like, you have dengue fever and they call it like, bone breaker disease if you were her that 'cause it feels like you're fucking bones or-- - Cheese is mashed, like it's so fucked up, like you feel the sorest you've ever been. Yeah, it's, you gotta check 'em. Yeah, anyways, yeah, it's like a wild how sore your body is. - Cheese is. - Like to the core. - So then I remember asking, I was like, can I do I have to stay here? 'Cause we were in this like shitty little guest house in Laung Prabang, and it was just like, you know, it's all dirt roads and everything. And at that point, I was like, I'd like to maybe be a little-- - Get a hotel now. - Yeah, it's time to spend-- - It's time to spend like, $500. - 'Cause you gotta go, on that trip, how much you go with? - I went with, we spent $4,000 for the whole thing. Like we were, our accommodations were $10 a night split. - Yeah, right. Yeah, oh, some of these hustles are like, if you have a couple, you're like, oh, it's cheaper to get your own room. - It isn't for two people than to get two beds in a dorm. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. We would pay $10, $12 a night, 15 if you wanted air conditioning. - And so it's like, everyone has a certain amount of time of money. - Yeah. - So if they had 10 grand, that's a year. - Yeah. - 12 grand is a year. - Exactly. - And so like, two grand is like two, three months. And then, and they already have your ticket back. And so then it's like, hey, if we gotta get something nice, we just lost two weeks. - Exactly, yeah, yeah. So no, this was, I think-- - But you have to. - This was I have to, actually, you know what, I actually think, 'cause I told my mom that I had Dengue Fever. And I was like, you know, I'd just go get a hotel and so, and so I asked them, someone there, I was like, can I go to VNTN, which is the capital. - Yeah. - Down there, right there. - Real French area, right? - Real, exactly, VNTN. It's the capital of Laos and I'm like, can I go there just to rest up? Do I have to stay here? And they're like, no, go ahead. They gave me parasitimal, which is like Tylenol, something like that, yeah. - Something like, it's their version. That's the only thing they gave me. And they go, you just need to get rest. But another, so-- - It just passes. - So here's the thing. So in most cases, in healthy adults, yes. But that was another reason I went to VNTN is there was an Australian, like, health clinic there, that was run by, like, an Australian doctor who would come for like six months a year, live in VNTN, and would treat people or whatever. So I'm like, I need to go see that guy. 'Cause I'm like, I want, like, for, you know, first world kind of healthcare, or someone I can actually speak to. So anyways, go to the VNTN. I'm like, in a ho, just a bed for a week. And I would go see this guy. And this guy took my blood, and he's basically like, look, this is what's probably gonna happen with your, I don't know exactly what your blood cells, he goes, if your blood, I don't know exactly what it was, but he's like, if this doesn't change, which he's like, it probably will, but if it doesn't, we're gonna feel like airlift you to Bangkok to do like a blood transfusion or something, which is in the worst case scenario. But it ended up just being fine. - It just passes. I'm just saying, dude, I was in a fucking bed for a week. And I'm, you're like pissing nonstop. I wasn't eating. - Like, yeah, I was gonna say can you eat? - No. - Couldn't eat, was just like pissing not, like I would just drink water and just like, I remember I was like, how much I was peeing was so crazy. And then finally, just thought I started feeling a little better, and then we just left. And we went to, I don't know where it is, but it's somewhere in Toronto. Yeah, I don't remember what it was called, but it was like this little island, like my girl really wanted, girlfriend at the time really wanted to go there. And this place, so this is me in this hammock. It's like you had to take like two like little shitty boats to get there. And this is right after I had Dengue fever. And I was still like, you know. - What's that sign? Is that just their prices for stuff? - Probably. And we stayed like, this was no electricity. They only had electricity for like three hours a day in this place. And then we stayed there for a couple days, a few days, and then from there, we went to, it was something like a leprosy. - Oh, I was not feeling, oh, I probably caught my phone or some shit. - Oh, fuck the fuck. - Dude, I got, you know what? I remember, I got in one of the islands, one of those three islands in Bangkok, one of them, I think it was Kotao. They're beaches full of broken shells. Like when you go in the water, and I remember we went in the water, and I was just fucking gushing blood when I came out, like, 'cause you got caught up so badly. But anyways, from there, we went to Cambodia, we went to C.M. Reap, which is Anchor-Wat, and then, at that point, I was fine. And then we went from there. - So it just passed? - It just passed, yeah, it just goes away. - How long did you stay in this place? Like this is in Laos? - This is in Laos, this is this little island, like-- - How'd you hear about this? - She had a friend who had gone there before. - To me, that's my favorite way to get places where it's like, oh, you gotta check out this place. I went, it's not in many books, but you should go. - Yeah, this is the, this is, oh, look at how rickety it is. It was like super, you have to take these boats. I remember we got on a boat to go there, and this really done up woman got on. She was like a local, and she got on this boat with us, 'cause she was using it just to get around, and she was holding two live chickens by their ankles, 'cause she just picked up chickens for food. Yeah, or whatever, she's like, this is just like, I'm like, you don't cage, I'm just this dinner. She's holding two chickens in this boat. And yeah, this is what it was. I can't remember what it was called. - God. - And yeah, this is, this is the area, there was like some local kid rented a boat. - That's you? - Yeah, that was me. - Damn, you're a disgusting fat pig. What a fucking asshole. What do you, what is that, what is that? Red Bull? - Red Bull, yeah, of course. - Red Bull tie. - The Red Bull tie. - Shut up, you're a fucking full moon party, like-- - That was like a dog. - No, we never did the full moon party, 'cause the full moon party never lined up. - Yeah. - You know, so it's like we did, and then yeah, this is the, this is fucking gorgeous. - Yeah, sick. - What is it about also, not just like, okay, cool, it's a nice place. But to get there, the amount of passage and effort it takes to get there, it's just like more rewarding. - Absolutely, and it's way less touched by people. And honestly, at this point in my life, I don't know that if I would do it. Like if I was in the area and you go, do you wanna go do this, like-- - It takes 10 hour bus ride to get there, then a five hour boat. - All this shit, you're like, you're only like a dinghy and you're like, I don't, I really don't know. Yeah, this was that. - This was the shitty roads. - And then this, I think this was the boat with the lady with the chicken on it, actually. But anyways, yeah, so that was that, and then from there we went to-- - What food do you have in Laos? Do you really just wasted it, huh, you barely did it? - Laos, mostly you just ate like a fucking bon me sandwich. It wasn't shit. - And was that as cheap as anywhere there? - Yeah, it was so cheap. I mean, you're literally eating meals that are like a dollar. - No, you gotta save, you gotta save 50 cents. Oh, this is an orphanage, that's my fat ass and some orphanage. - And then you starting to look like yourself? - Yeah, I'm more like a-- - You gotta save Cambodian for another time. - Yeah, I will save Cambodian for another time, but this was me and Ankerwatt. - Ankerwatt, yeah, that is a cool one. - Yeah, Ankerwatt's fucking insane. - This is definitely before a certain hour, because after a certain hour, the Chinese tourists get there and they just bump you out of the way. You have like under one second to take turns. Have you ever had Asian people want to take a photo with you just because you're a tall white guy? - Yeah, it's crazy, don't you feel so cool? - Yeah, I remember it happened a few times in the first time, someone was like, "Photo?" And they go, "Yeah, give me your camera." Like I thought they wanted me to take a photo of them because that's what normally happens. And then they're like, "No, no, no, we want to be in a photo." - Those Canadian girls in a temple in Myanmar, in some city, people take their, they're in a line form. And then we saw one person get out, switch hats with somebody and come back in for another photo. - Like greedy. - Yeah, like, oh, it's like, they're just like, we don't want to be around these reliance. - Yeah, these reliance. - They're like, "God's." - Yeah, they love them. - You feel like Tom Cruise. - Kind of. - So tell them more about Laos before we get to, 'cause we can't get people to be in another episode. - Basically, that was kind of it to be honest. Laos was the bus for the trip because, and my girl was kind of, I felt bad for her because VNTN is, you could do it in the day. It's not a place. - It's okay. - This is not much going on there. It's the capital of Laos. It's, you know, whatever. You can, there's some restaurants and some bars, but that's everywhere. But there's not like a lot of cool stuff to see there. Not a lot to do, really. And I'm in bed for a week. And she doesn't know anybody. - Yeah. - And like most travelers in Southeast Asia, like that's probably one of the places they don't go is VNTN. They go to Long Pervang. - To VNTN and then take them. - Yeah, and then they go to Cambodia, and you'll go to like, to see them reap. And then you'll go to Panampen. Panampen, I really like. Panampen was a lot of stuff. - Panampen was going to sell some text tours in there. Stay in Laos, stay in Laos. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, stay in Laos. - Yeah. But yeah, I didn't, I honestly like, I barely saw VNTN because I was in bed. - How much were hostels there? Same. it's about the same, cheaper, cheaper. - Laos is, 'cause like, Laos is like-- - You're not mad the cheapest ones that I saw. - Yeah, Laos was, I think Laos was the cheapest because that's like the place where Henry Kissinger dropped, just dropped like fucking 10 million bombs on him. - It, okay, hold on, that's a good one to get into. We sell like 10 minutes off, but like the, when you go there and you, it's like the Vietnam War, like the Vietnam War was in like five different countries. - Yeah, of course, Cambodia got fucked, Laos got fucked. 'Cause like, well, they're bringing arms in from there. I'm like, yeah, but they didn't do it. - Yeah, and also Laos, like, I don't know if this is true, but I believe it is, and I've heard is that, some of the U.S. bombers, sometimes would have payloads left of bombs, and they, like, for their fuel, like, their fuel would run out if they kept the bomb, so then they would drop them on Laos. - Wow, yeah. Just to get rid of them, they would just bomb Laos. - She's like so fucked. - You have to see it is not a real people. - Yeah, these are not, these are like cockroaches. - Doesn't really matter. - But I will say, the one thing I did not know about, which is, unfortunately, leaving the Laos topic a little bit, was the whole polpot shit. I didn't really know much about polpot. - He's one of my favorite people. - One of the craziest stories. - Danny, Danny. - Sorry, I know, I know we're gonna save it. Oh, we'll do another one on Cambodia. - Okay, we'll do another one on Cambodia. - Because polpot rules. - Polpots insane. - And never got killed. - He lived for like four more years in Cambodia. - Dude, when I was in, so when I was on this trip, and I'm learning about this whole thing, and they go, "These are like some of the most violent murders." - The killing fields. - The killing fields, and they're still alive, living in Cambodia. - You like what? - Like Langsa, dude, like Lang Sarrier, whatever. He was like one of the top fucking guys in the Cambodian government for other polpots. And they're like, "Yeah, he's on trial right now." Even though he's like 90. - He's still on trial. - He's forced over, forgiven, forgiven. - Yeah, he killed three million people or whatever, and yeah, and I don't, he must be dead now. - Polpots. - No, no, Langsa. - This guy. - Yeah, he's been on trial. - He's even like his top guy. This is, you know, this is him or her shit. And he's just like alive in Cambodia. This is, you know, mid to 2007 or whatever. And he's just like, "Yeah, we're getting him on trial at some point." But he's just like a lot of-- - It sounds like we don't have the means. I guess to get him on trial. - Well, they had to go to like the Hague. Like they have to like get him like, and whatever, and they're just like, he's still alive. And these are all like, you know, Western, it's funny 'cause they're all, these people were all like educated, and they all went, you know, university and like, London and all these like rich people. They come back. - It's they, it's they, you're right. They found out this new information. And then they applied it to their crazy fucked up place. - Yeah. - And it's like, "Well, you know, the upper class "the bourgeoisie" is like, yeah. - The fuck of the bourgeoisie. - Yeah. - I'm the new wood, you guys. They wouldn't kill everybody with glasses. - Everybody with glasses, like you're a problem. And then when you think about like, "Well, generally the glasses people are the issue." You're like, yeah. - But you're all, just as bad eyesight. - Yeah. - It's really not about, you know, do anything. - And you want to keep some people with glasses. - Well, in China, Mao was like, farmers, your doctors now, doctors, your farmers. And then so that means there was no good farming 'cause doctors are not a farm. And then they're like, I don't know how to fix you. I'm just some farmer. - Yeah, I hear like, I have no education. - You can't just swap them. - No, no, no, no, no, they run some wild experience. - Yeah, it's funny. They all kind of talk to each other. Mao, Polpah, and then the South American ones and the Cuba and all that stuff. But the one that was like, they say was the worst was. - Was it in my door? - Was it in my door? - What? - No, it wasn't me in my arm. - Was it in my door? - No, God, it was like, he was illiterate. It wasn't Polpah, illiterate. And just, if I should've had more information on this, I had it in my head. And he was like the moron of the group. And he was like, we'll do this. Oh, Romania. - Oh, oh, Chesco. - Chesco, Chesco. So he's illiterate and he studied with all these people. I was like, oh, he's supposed to do this, but didn't quite get it. You know those people like, marriage is a contract with the state. Like, what do you mean, like, I don't know? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I just heard it once he wrote it. - I kind of just kind of fell ass back. - Yeah, and so that was him. So he was just like, let's pay off all the debts. We're not in debt. Like, we'll just have rolling blackouts to make up for it. - Yeah, yeah. - Oh, yeah, that's calming us. That's like crazy, 'cause my family's Russian. And then my grandmother's like, yeah, I was born in Romania and then they just changed what Romania was. - Yeah, yeah, when I asked my dad, like, where'd your father grow up in Romania? 'Cause Romania, Hungary, it's all-- - Yeah, you're like, it just changed all the time. It's constantly. But yeah, Laos was, Laos, I'd like to go back, 'cause Laos was-- - To do it right. - I just want to go back to that tubing place. And I heard the temporarily actually shut it down, because like, people were dying. - That's what he does. - I think it's back up. - Let's go back. - Yeah, yeah, I'd love to go there. There's so many expats there too, where I think like you can kind of, you've done comedy out there, right? - Not in Laos, but 'cause I didn't make it there. But me and Mar, I went to a place where there was a show, I'm like, I'm on vacation, I'm on vacation. It was my first week in Jenga. I was like, I don't wanna go to this on the Wednesday when there's a comedy show. - But it was all like British comics and stuff, kind of thing. - Yeah, and then my friend, Childress, told me about a few places. He brought me to Bangkok, but he was living in Myanmar. He brought me out there. - And were people, what were you? - There's a scene, so if you're in the Hong Kong scene, go do shows in Seoul, you go to shows in Myanmar, you go to shows in Indonesia, the other one right next to. - Malaysia? - Malaysia. The Malaysia, what they did was, they're like, come do shows here. Americans, Brits, that are expats, whatever. It's like, great. Actually, you know what? We started, we're gonna bring our own MCs, you guys bring the features and the headliners. And then after a year, they're like, just bring the headliners. We got it, new scene now. And then it's like, great, we learn nobody can't - Yeah, yeah, we got everything, thank you. When were you in Myanmar? - 2017. - 2017, so that was, well like, 'cause I remember when we-- - It was just opened up. - It was just opened up. We met this guy when we were in, I think we went to like, Sapa, which was like in Northern-- - Sapa. - Sapa. - Northern Vietnam. - Vietnam. - Vietnam, you're like near the Chinese border, it's like all up in the mountains, amazing, or whatever. - Sapa trees are really cool, they're all like intertwined. - Yeah, yeah. And this guy was saying he snuck over, 'cause you were not supposed to go to Myanmar at the time, because they had this whole military thing. And then he kind of snuck over or any said, but he's like, you can't talk about all sorts of stuff, because they're like, you can get locals like killed. - They changed the name of me from Burma to Myanmar because of bad press. - Yeah. - And they changed the name of the capital from Rangoon to Yangon, bad press. - Yeah, I was wondering about that. - And then at some point, yeah, it is the same country. They still talk Burma. - I know Burma and Myanmar, but I always wondered about the Yangon. - Yeah, and then they just, they're like, a lot of protests outside the capital, they're like, we're just gonna move the capital the middle of fucking nowhere. You guys ain't gonna protest the middle of nowhere. They took all the government officials like, you live in fucking the bus and the hard desert now. - Yeah. - You know, with all these Burma's pilots. So that was something I asked everybody. You got any, well, I was gonna say, if you had to do over again, you put on more deep, probably. - Probably, probably Bugsbury, but honestly, yeah, I put on Bugsbury. - Any recommendations of what to do if people were there? - In Laos, yeah. - Specifically, I mean, honestly, it's just as long parang as like the main thing to do there. I don't remember what those little sets of islands are. I'm sure you could find them. - But those are not in Laos. - They're in Laos. Yeah, those little islands that I went to, they were just before Cambodia. They're probably at the bottom. Probably at the bottom of the Mekong in-- - Oh, the island's on the river. - The island's like on the river. Yeah, on the river and it's just before you get into Cambodia. - That does sound cool. - And it's pretty bad ass. But Southeast Asia in general is, you know, you can get around with you. - What's that? Did you pack with you with you like that? - I don't think so 'cause it was 2001. You can buy, everything gets made there. - Except, I will say though, if you're a bigger guy, it's actually difficult. - Shoes are done, yeah. - Like I couldn't buy shoes there at all. - I'd say you have to bring a pair of hiking shoes that you, from home that you-- - For sure, yeah. You have to bring hiking shoes and then, but it was 2007. So like, you know, I had an iPod, but I didn't bring really like much technology stuff. - I had a friend say the one thing his advice was bring a small pills Bluetooth for hostels, and you'll just be the hero of the hostel. - A small way? - Like those pills. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - And he goes, if you could have like something to play music, people like they will just love you, they'll take you anywhere. - For sure. - Part of the scene. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You know, taking cards is nice. - Yeah, yeah, I mean, I don't know what it's like now, I'm curious, like, what co-sand road is like now, 'cause I imagine-- - I went there in 2014. - Yeah. - But I imagine it's still very similar. I mean, Bangkok's, I will say, if you go to Bangkok, don't just go to co-sand road. 'Cause Bangkok is a massive city. There's tons of cool shit. - Just getting to the airport takes an hour and a half. - Yeah, but there's tons of cool stuff there, and some people go there, and they literally only see co-sand road. And nothing else. And then maybe like the little temple. - They say this with about the Louvre. They're like gonna see the, the what's it called, the, you know, the lady smiling. - Mona Lisa? - Mona Lisa, but they're like, you know, also the Venus de Milo's there. There's like thousands of great works of arts, and 80 of the most famous in the world, and everyone just lines up to do Mona Lisa. - Yeah, for sure. - You should actually just skip it and go see way more cool. - I mean, the Louvre isn't even the best museum there. It's the one with the clock tower thing, the train station looking motherfucker. - Oh, yeah, the Palaita. - I can't remember what it's called. - I went into that one. What piece of travel advice would you give just to everybody in general? - Ah, in general. - I see, piling a list, compiling a list. - Good list of general travel advice. I mean, just be very like easy going and flexible, I think, 'cause she it happens. When you're traveling, you're in different countries, and like, you know, she's not gonna always go to plan, I would say, and so you have to just be fairly. - I like that. - Fairly flexible, because if you're not, you're just gonna know. - That reminds me of a writing exercise, [BLANK_AUDIO] I'll talk to my friend. It's like a travel writer and the guy Ralph Pots, yeah, yeah, he rules. Yeah, and So we were doing this once I was doing his podcast He told me something that reminded me of a story and then I was like oh, I'm so sorry And that reminded him of a story and just keep going I was like you should do it. There's your class. Yeah, where someone just tells a two-minute story everyone write down Anything who reminds you up and then go next you choose one go and then you talk for three minutes about something and then everyone else Or all that reminds me of this reminds me of that you know, oh train. We took a train in you know in Indonesia It's like oh Indonesia. I had food there and like yeah, all the food in the Andes was really good You know, it just reminds you anyway that being off your thing reminds me of this time in Myanmar Where we're leaving we're gonna take a bus up in this region where like locals only like you're not a lot of it Really stay we found out the hard way But we're waiting for the bus some guys like hey, where's the 10 o'clock bus? And they're like oh, it's gone It's it's only nine fifty five. I'm like well, it's gone. It's like well, it's at 10. I'm like yeah, it was pretty full So it just left yeah, what else does it do? And they're like I don't know so like it's at 10 and they're like sir It's gone. Yeah, it's gone because we had a fucking power outage in my hostel They're like that's not connected with me. Yeah, like this type of traveling is not for you Yeah, we're just watching this guy and me and my friends were just like we're love. We're so free The little travel group he made right there guy from Newcastle a guy from Seattle and a guy from I forget where the black guy was everybody touched his hair. He had drugs And it was just like dude you're in a crazy cool place like inlay lake Myanmar just fucking take another day. Yeah, exactly there. You got it like you said you got to come off your plan Yeah, you might have a thing like we way we're in Cambodia We had this hole because we had an itinerary mapped out and then we were in penon pen and then For we were like had three days in penon pen and then but you had to get a visa to go to Vietnam because they have all these We have these and they're super fucking corrupt like to go to into Laos You have to like literally just pay a guy who's like in a wooden like booth in the middle of a field like two dollars For your stamp, but it's not like there's no official thing that says two dollars They're just like you just pay him two dollars, and then I remember someone's like I'm not paying him and they're like well Then you're not getting in the Laos because he's corrupt and he's not letting you in He's not right, but it's the way it's just like it is how it is or whatever and then but we were at this hostel in penon pen And then they're like we didn't realize you need a visa and so like oh, should we need a visa and so you'll oftentimes You'll do it through like the guy at like the desk whatever. He's like visa office closed all weekend He's like it's not open on the weekends So then and this is like a Friday. It's like a Thursday and it was like a 48-hour process and I was like yeah He's like you probably hear to like Monday or Tuesday though. I had that in I had that in New York under East Timor. Yeah, I think like oh every Swiss guy got right in East Timor Americans You had to get a visa. Yeah, and I was like what same it closed till then. I'm like what the fuck was to do it? I was glad you asked That is fucking gorgeous. Yeah, the boat leaves in 40 minutes like six. See you, and I mean we had a great time I don't remember what I did, but I remember yeah great time that that gap year fucking trip to Southeast Asia is Rules. Yeah, I was having a fight with like I'm a Kala Peterson's like Instagram I'm talking about how like all these people say once you have a kid your life's over That's not true, and I was like it is though. Yeah, like no one I know who has kids does fun shit like like what kind of Like I don't know going to Mexico for Thanksgiving. Of course, and then like what else? I'm like traveling through Southeast Asia. I'm like you sound like a gap year kid I'm like those kids rule. Yeah, I would love to sound like one of them. Yeah, to have the freedom to literally just drop Anything anytime and just go let's just say real adventure go to fucking further west in Thailand instead just change for the next two weeks Yeah, it's like actually adventure. Yeah, it's like proper adventure. Yeah. All right. Well, Danny. Thank you very much Thank you for having you guys check out Danny's two podcasts the boy's cast So he does right now I don't know if you know sexual and a bathhouse Late in a second I know the bathhouse which is a college I would actually very far. Yeah, I was a nice and a low-value man On Tuesday night I do call a different call and show, but it's not a comedy show It's just like I have really weird guests on on Tuesday nights called low-value male little valley Low-value male and I'll just go to the YouTube channel low-value male M a I L you can catch all of the stuff and Danny can find on Instagram, but yeah, no, I got kicked off of Instagram Sorry, but a month ago for a sexual solicitation. No, they're like dude. It's honestly because I I don't want to get it We don't have time, but they I got kicked off. They someone has it out for me at Instagram and kicked me off for sexual solicitation Which I have a she did not do I'm so free-dandy Danny jokes 2.0 also sexual solicitation like that's all that's happening on Instagram Are you cute? Are you want to go out? That's that but it's like all only fans horrors pimping their only fans That's all that happens. I know little prostitutes who still have their Instagram and I got kicked off. They need something like hey Come on, leave her alone. They need that Well, you said if you're banned that will it's I did say you're not on there. What are you on? Well, I'm on Danny jokes on Twitter and then Danny jokes 2.0 on Instagram until they kick that one off But I had a super viral I can see it to get me back on making fun of the queers for Palestine thing And I think that's what got came back out because all you got to do is get there higher and then they'll they'll report everything until they're like Yeah, I guess I know people reporting me for sure, but it's like because the people who are moderators at Queers of Palestine was a funny post Yeah, but the people who are moderators at Instagram and that are they're pretty sympathetic to queers and Palestinians And I was making fun of both of them at once. So I think that's what did it. Yeah But anyways, Danny jokes 2.0 on Instagram. I think I will look up Danny Polish. Yeah, you'll find me Yeah, thanks and then check out Laos guys if you get a chance fuck that out there. Yeah, go all the Southeast Asia. Thanks, buddy. Thank you Well, that's the episode everybody. Thank you very much Danny Polish. I've come in and tells about Laos. Do you see what I'm saying it's at least worse trip in a hospital But also best episode nominees for both You can find Danny Polish on Danny jokes on Instagram YouTube is Danny P. Comedy. You can watch the livestream of his podcast on YouTube low-value mail It's low-value mail with Danny Polish on Mondays and the bathhouse on Tuesday plus Patreon For the boys cast. You can also go to his website Danny P All right, sorry Danny comedy.com where you can see his tour dates Fort Worth. It deserves March Fort Worth in March Pittsburgh, Chicago and Detroit in April, but a Danny comedy.com and now it's time For the 2025 trip he awards That building behind me, by the way, he used to be the tallest building in Latin America Maybe South America. I don't know somebody told me that and I kind of went with it. I'm juiced off fucking Mate. Let's do it Start with the best picks the nominees. We're Ethan McKenzie Joe Zara and Ari for Ecuador Julio Galerotti for Afghanistan, H and Kevin for the Route 66 Sam talent for France Andrew Schulz for Burning Man and Tom Rhodes for Mongolia and the winner for the second year in a row. It's an episode. I was in but I didn't take the pictures Ethan McKenzie Guatemala Congratulations Ethan play a game of boo boo on me. Edie Tim Tam from me Best guest was a tough one because I had a lot of good ones this year. I mean it last year too Hamilton Morris and China are we Maddie about work visas. He's hilarious. I'll be back on. He's already taking another episode Steph Tolla for Scotland for Kreischer and Vietnam Paul Verzi in Italy, Segura in Tunisia and Harley Williams the returning champ for Africa, not a country, but it should be The winner is Steph Tolla, guys that episode was just so good with her dancing in in Scotland. She's so funny. The episode was so fucking good Best guest Steph Tolla. Congratulations. Best trip. These are the big ones. These are the big nominees. Best trip List and Sarah and Ari for Ecuador Kevin and H for the Route 66. What a fun trip that must have been. Burke Kreischer for Vietnam, Mike Vecchio in six months in Aruba, Jim Norton, fucking a bunch of hookers in Brazil Jodorosa going to China The piece of shit Jodorosa's Harley Williams Africa and small brain American for me and Marm Best trip. Well, I gotta say, I narrowed down to sometimes like what seems the funnest and the freest And some of it's in a time and place the person was in You know, I mean Mike Vecchio owns Aruba one was six months and Aruba was great But it's in a time where everybody was on a break. So he did Covid him. He's among the nominees for winner of Covid. Me, Ronnie Chang, Mike Vecchio, and people that just did stuff And then literally every other community got massive Ronnie Chang is pretty big So I'm gonna go with a guy who first discovered That he could be this free and he lives his life in that manner and it all dates back to this trip To Vietnam Burke Kreischer best trip of the year award winner for 2025 trippy Bert, this cup of mate is for you Worst trip was in no brain of this year. It's Chris O'Connor. What a terrible fucking sad trip you had in Switzerland God, I would hate to Hate to be that Um, most surprising, this came down to really a two-horse race. a two-horse race. The nominees were Chad Wallen for Ghana. I didn't know he'd gone there. Steff Tollev, for Scottish dance, Carmen Lynch for Duan Ayahuasca in Peru. She's not an Ayahuasca person. She's not a drug person. Tom Sugora for getting laid for once. I only knew him as a part of a couple. But the really two big nominees are Andrew Schultz for Duan Burning Man, a drug festival. And that guy's a winner. And then Tucker Carlson for not getting into politics for an entire episode. About the UA. And was honest. I was like, what about the slavery? Yeah, that is not good. I'm going to give it to Andrew Schultz in a close one. In a close one. Because honestly, I don't know. It was a coin flip. I'll be honest with it. It was a coin flip. Tucker Carlson and Andrew Schultz. Tucker Carlson. I mean, everybody thinks he's just political. But I'm like, no, he's a great traveler. That part was surprising. But he'll be asked surprising every single one. Andrew Schultz going to a fucking steampunk festival. That guy's almost straight laced. He can barely get him to drink a Heineken. So, Andrew Schultz, congratulations on your most surprising trip. Thomas Move. Okay. The nominees. It's Thompson Gore for fucking a German backpacker with no condom. H Foley for shitting himself with a bus. Mark Gagnon for mocking a UA cop. Joe Liss for drinking warm tea in Ecuador. And Jordan Jensen for his skin is scammed into helping build a fake recycling plant. Good. Congratulations on your win for dumbest move. It wasn't that you fucked a backpacker at all with no condom. Fucking is actually not a dumb move at all. That's a great move. And it wasn't so much that you fucked without a condom. That is dumb. A backpacker. It's that you fucked a German without a condom. They asked fuck dude. There's ass diseases. There's specific ass fuck diseases. You open yourself up to it. It's not just those two. It's that you realized that you shouldn't have done it. And then you went back and you did it again. Blasting, dude. You can't blast. Are you out of your fucking mind? I mean, I guarantee you Christina did not know this story before she married you. What a dumb fucker. And when you told me I was like, no dude, you got away with one. And you would think that'd be the best sexual adventure, but it's not. That brings us to our next award, the best sexual adventure. Emma Wilman for getting pink eye. A fucking dyke behavior in the Netherlands. Tom Segura. Fucking a German backpacker. I nominee at least. Drogosh. A Romanian friend for doing upskirts in Tokyo. We got another Japan episode coming soon. And Jim Norton, I made for the Brazilian hooker trip. Guys, this was some of legends. Him Patrice. Patrice is back to life for a short time. What a great one. Really, really. I just went back to Rio. And this city, São Paulo, Raffi Basto, is my tour guide there. Did not fuck a Brazilian hooker. And I'm sad to say I apologize to you Jim Norton and the memory of Patrice. I should have at least taken a deal, though, to one. Best concert of the probably of the year. Oasis. Final concert of the fucking of their tour in São Paulo. Well, I was close. So it was easier for me to go. Drugs, you guys. Oh, this is a fun one. The best drugs. And I mean, I got to give it to the master himself. We had Andy Haynes for the fake mushrooms he bought in Belize. I ever got to Belize. It was so close. It was right at the border. Didn't get over there. I'm just taking my part. But I get to pick your battles. Carmen Lynch for Ayahuasca. I mean, really open it on us about a great one. I think she probably was second. Danny Brown for his delivery of drugs in Barcelona. Are you sure fear? That's me for snorting riddle in Thailand on mushroom beach. But the winner Hamilton Mars, the drug master himself for not even doing drugs, but just for touring. The drug labs of China of Shanghai, Beijing. Shanghai, I think it's the trippy trip. The trippy trippy award. I'm going to rename some of these. Dumbest move. We got to rename that. Any ideas for name, but best picks, best guests, best trip. Worst trip. Most surprising. Maybe the no way award is most surprising. The trippy trip. Hamilton Mars, congratulations on your win. Best meal. I'm doing away with it this year. I didn't get enough nominees. Most adventurous. Small brand American for me, Mar. Tom Rhodes for Mongolia. Harlem Williams, Africa. Chad Wallen. In Ghana. Julio Galerotti, who my love, Afghanistan, Mike Corey for Congo and Carmen Lynch for doing Ayahuasca in Peru in the jungle. Not in somebody's house. Like everybody else does it. Doing it where it came from. That was a tough one. I think it came down to Harlem again. Julio, who I love and who was already recorded another episode, he'll be back on. I kind of want to give him an award because Julio's, I mean, you think I'm the best traveler in comedy. It's Julio. I mean, the nominees are me, Julio Russell, the white guy, Jim Gaffigan, Yoshi, forget who else. And those are the ones that are up there for sure. And he hangs up there. But Julio, I think it's like tops. Just careers out as big as the other ones though. I give me a small brain American for me and Mar. I mean, man, you took me back going up there, being on the back of a fucking mo pad, which is some dude dangerous. I'm sure getting the fucking waterproof poisoning. God, that was great. God, it really took me back to a place that I don't think you can go anymore. I think the government took control again. This one I'm not going to do, but the biggest piece of shit award came down to Graham K for selling arms to a fucking terrorist. Josh Jason Ellis for just being a fucking complete con-asshole in Germany. Giannis Poppos for second align on his friend who's scared of cats. Joe DeRosa for following a random guy into the woods in Thailand. And Louis J. Gomez for making his son jump into choppy unsafe waters. Despite his son's request to say, "Please, Dad, have mercy. I don't want to do this." You're right, son. You're right. You shouldn't have done it. Dude, you're too part of here. It's tough. It comes down to, obviously, Graham K did terrible things for society. Giannis was just a dick. I think he's out. He's not a biggest piece of shit. It was just a dick, and the line wasn't really dangerous. Giannis would be my award winner for a dick move at a baseball game all time, and that was legendary move. I don't think I can give it to DeRosa. The problem is, DeRosa is my friend who is the biggest piece of shit I know. And then Louis Gomez for doing that to his son. So it really comes down to Graham K, selling arms to DeRosa as a kid, really, young 20s, who really didn't know any better. You don't really know any better than to not take a job at that point. And. I don't fucking juice. They're gonna stop drinking this. Hola. And. It's okay. I'm French. And Louis Gomez for making his son jump off when he shouldn't. Who should know better? So I'm gonna do a two-parter. Here's a two-parter of this award. I'm gonna give it to Louis Jay Gomez. It's not only should know better, and not only did his son ask him to know better. But he's a full adult who should know better. But I'm gonna give it to Louis Gomez, but I'm also gonna rename the award for biggest piece of shit. To not leave out the biggest piece of shit I know, Joe DeRosa. So Louis Jay Gomez, congratulations. You've won the newly renamed Joe DeRosa Trippie Award for biggest piece of shit of the year. What do we got? Two more. I think one will do away with that. No, we won't. Best travel buddy, we're not doing most dangerous. We're not doing. I might be julio, that's probably my quarry. But most disgusting came down to Adam Row for puddles of urine all over India, but they didn't step in any. Joe Les for taking a tour of Ecuadorian gang. gas stations to shit away everywhere. Burt for getting those ear cleaning out there. And H-Foli for just shitting himself on a bus in front of friends, which is, I think, more discussing this shitting in a bathroom. All the bathrooms have to go in is tough. All the bathrooms you have to go in is tough. But do it in front of your friends. I mean, that's discussing in a different way. It's a fucks wrong with you, man. It's almost like you're a piece of shit, but you're not, you're just disgusting. H-Foli, you win the most disgusting thing of the year award. And finally, the makes you want to go award. This comes down to the episode or the trip that the guest that makes you want to go there, more than anybody else. Joe Lesson, Sarah, and Ari and Ecuador. Myself, and Paul Verzi, in making our two, and Switzerland, I guess, making our two countries a year bet that hopefully should rub off on many of you. We'll go to one country a year, at least. Harlow Williams, Africa. Basically, you want to go to Safari, for sure. Julie, with Colorado, Afghanistan, does make me want to go. Tom Rhodes made me want to go to Mongolia. For Christchurch, maybe we want to go back to Vietnam and be free like that. Small-brained America, maybe we want to go back to Myanmar and Ethan McKenzie made me want to go to Guatemala, but I did. And I kind of got it out of my system. The final award for the tripy 2024, 2025 award. For makes you want to go, it's a married couple. Joe List, and Sarah Tolabosh. Congratulations on your makes you want to go tripy award for 2025. That's it, you guys. That's the episode. Please subscribe. We're watching a listening next week. Punchy Johnson takes this to Jamaica. Show you the rest of this place. To me, it's just Jamaica in a place that I'm recording. So that's the square. You see it? There's a little fucking whatever there. We've got water that way. Water goes all the way around this place. 10 cents to whoever guesses where this is. There's a flag there. Where is it? There it is. You see it? You've got a puncture and it's tough. And then more water there. And it goes all the way. And it goes all the way around. It's about to get us that. Man, I wish I could see people fucking. Pucky Johnson takes us to-- OK, ah, shit. That's my alarm. Unprofessional, Laurie. Unfucking professional. I've got to go do a zoom meeting. No. So that's it, you guys. That's the episode. Thank you very much to all the 2025 UV Trippie Award winners. Get your sticker right now at ryshevere.com or at the bottom of your screen. You can put it up anywhere. I'm going to put it up over there at this hostel I'm staying at. And wherever you go, you guys, don't forget to take your birdcrasher slides. No, not slides. Flip flops with you. He doesn't call them flip flops. But they're flip flops. The most comfortable flip flops I've ever owned. Look, they've got the fucking beer cans in there. I didn't pay for them. So I don't know if they're cost effective or not. But I honestly don't know where to get them. I asked for it. I suggest you asked for it as well. But that's it, you guys. Until next week with Pucky Johnson, I'm Laurie Shafair saying, when your own Trippie Awards-- I'm going to try to be saying that. Get sick. Go to a hospital on your own. Find out what hospitals are like all over the world. Do your own tourism, whether it's like Henry Rollins, going to do in record stores, or Danny Pollishock visiting sand, floor, hospitals, and Laos. Wherever you are, it's pretty exciting. And in the worst moments, we'll eventually become the best memories. That's gay. I'm Laurie Shafair. Goodbye, everybody.