Lamorne Morris

Hi, it's Rick Glassman from this podcast. We'll get right to the show, but first I wanted to let you know that I'm on my standup comedy tour, Ricky's on the loose and I'm in Dallas this weekend. And if you're in Washington, DC, Montreal, Quebec, Edinburgh or London in the UK, Portland or Eugene in Oregon, Philadelphia, PA or Houston, Texas. My tickets are for sale now at Rick Glassman.com. And if you want to be the first to be notified when I'm coming to your city because I'm adding dates as we speak, go to Rick Glassman.com/tour, sign it from an email list, and I'll let you know. Hey, girls, get started without me. I'll be right there. Hurry up, Rick, seriously. What are you doing? Please, I'll be right there. Now enjoy the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show. Move some stuff around. So we've got to make sure that's nice. That's right there, baby. Oh, yeah. Oh, cool. I'll come out there now if you're ready. Alvin, good boy, Stance. Ludlow. Magic mine. Welcome to the studio. I've been here before. Yeah. You're a new. You're a new. If you talk to him. Well, that is rules to this. I didn't know how things go over here. How was he back here? Six months? Six months. You know, you just get it started. If I was already ready to hit it. Well, that's a piece by right there. No, no, that's him looking as Bob. All right, put something down. Yeah, give me a newspaper. So I can pee. Welcome back to the studio. It's been, it's been, you got way more accolades now. I mean, you tell me. I got a couple of webbies, but they're in the mail. They don't give them to you when you're there. I didn't go to this. I bet. The only way I would go to the webbies event, dude, is if I was already in New York and you know, which is the tables. I only looked for a second, but like to get a seat or something, it looked like the tickets were, I'm not exactly joking. It was maybe a table, but it was over 10 grand. Wait for you to go for you to go. They said maybe the tickets are cheaper, but like the only thing they offered me, Macon. You're not rolling. Oh, thank you. It's a table, it's $10,000 or $12,000. And it said, they gave me a code because I won to get money off and it was like $185 off. $2,000 table. Wait, so they want you to pay to go get an award? But even when you went to the Emmys, it's the same thing. It's all a racket, dude, but you just don't have to pay because the studio's pay or the network or whatever. Holy crap, I didn't realize. Yeah, and if the pay is some, it's all so much money, it's a racket, dude. I'm going to manual focus you. Thank you. Would you went to school with a manual focused, didn't you? Yeah, manual luston. Will you take your glasses off just for a moment so I could, uh, wait, look at me up. Are you up? Look at me, my friend. Oh yeah, you're going to like the way you look. I guarantee it. I can't guarantee it. Oh, you're going to my bad. I fucked up a bit. That's on me. Sometimes when you're too quick, you're just too quick. All right, more, we're going to get you to drink. We got caffeinated, non-caffeinated, we got water, we got tea. Well, what's the sponsored stuff? Oh, uh, it's not sponsored, but you want some magic mine? Ooh, I just took an extra strength myself. Let me get one because, uh, yeah, I think I might need it. I could tell. Yeah. And I could tell. I know. Yeah. Are you sucking his own dick now? Huh? Yeah, going to work on that. Get the balls, too. Why are you at it? We forget about the balls. He learned from Daddy. You don't forget about the balls. Yeah, get that. Hey, if you're feeling. I'm okay. All right, let's go. Oh, yeah. No, that wasn't the last time I was here. Last time I wasn't the unusable episode, wasn't it? A little inside baseball. I want to get some monitors to check everything. Sometimes it's not all in focus because it's such a wide shot. And I'm just like, what we're not, you know, it's a why don't you get monitors? You say, I want to. Why don't you just get them? Good question. So with my other, with my other cameras or some obstacles, but I don't have those cameras anymore. Since I got these, I haven't done it. I guess maybe we should look at some stuff. Yeah. Yes. It's just more wires going around, you know, but yeah, let's do it because you got the, I mean, there's a number one podcast in the world. Oh, okay. Start your business today with the industry's best business partner. Shopify and start hearing. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at Shopify. com/tiso. That's Shopify. com/tiso. You know, I've been thinking about buying shoes because, well, let me first let people understand what this is because we all want flexibility control and extra value telling you to disagree. Yes. So let me know. Okay. That's why Clarna has a suite of services to manage your purchases. Download the Clarna app today or visit Clarna.com/clarna.com/clarna.com/clarna balance account required to be eligible for cash backpoints. For a limited time, Chubbies is offering our listeners 20% off. That's a great deal with Code Tiso at chubbies shorts.com. Give your thighs a VIP treatment they deserve with Chubbies. That's 20% off your order with Code Tiso. Let them know where you heard it from, by the way. Also, all of these clothes that I'm wearing, fucking Chubbies, baby. Can I do that? Yes. That's a Chubby move. Ricky's on the loose and if you want to see me do my stand-up hour, June, I'll be in Washington, D.C. In July, I'll be in Montreal for the Just For Last Comedy Festival. Then in August, I will be in Edinburgh for the Fringe Festival Comedy Festival. I will also be in London, UK and Portland, Oregon in September and Eugene, Oregon in September and Philadelphia. I'll be there in September as well. And October will be in Houston, Texas to Como, Washington and Salt Lake City. We'll be in Columbus, July 2nd. Thanks, buddy. Salt Lake City and Edinburgh tickets are not yet for sale. They will be soon, but if you sign up for my email list at ricklasmin.com/tour, I'll let you know when I'm coming to your city. Also, even if you want to come to another show, I'm adding new dates. All the time. But there is a special, if you go to the Salt Lake City show and the Edinburgh show together, we're giving you free tickets to which show to the Salt Lake City show. Anybody that goes to Edinburgh and then comes back to the Salt Lake City show gets in on my on me. Well, it is both the listeners and the judges choice of the 2025 signal awards, most innovative video podcast. I mean, what else is there? Well, there's best guest, there's best editing, there's a whole bunch of stuff. Who is your best guest? Well, the one in award or the best guest? Oh, it says best guest. Oh, you have the best guests. No, no, no, there's like different different things you could like, there's best episode. Oh, you were the best guest on my podcast, one best episode, and I'm shocked because it was an episode in a different reason, but like with us, I almost didn't post, but I ended up posting it. Which episode was it? It was with, so like, I mean, he got up Paul Rudd. Oh, I don't know if you saw that, but that was one of the greatest things I've ever seen. I thought I was fine. He said it was fine. I mean, obviously it wasn't fine, but like, and then he said I could post it and then he got really upset about it. Yeah, I mean, I would too. What you did to him, what my assistant natural, what I did to him, I guess too. Yeah, I forgot you blow my mind every time I come in here. Oh, thanks, man. It's a big fucking regret that I have. Oh, Jesus. Be in here. You know what I mean, but today I'm not leaving empty handed. No, no, no, no, no, no, leave baby with me today. I'm not leaving empty handed. Paul, are you coming? I did. Duncan is a real and I think sometimes you can't the help, you know what I mean? The help. I is kind. I is confident and I is brave. What is it? I is a slave. Like, I don't. Do you know what I'm talking about though? Yeah, all those movies make me mad. What was that? I saw a clip of something or a kind you was, you know, he was important. Yeah, you have a great 15 footer. Your post game is good. What, where did I see an interview something recently or was a poll where there's like, who are these movies made for? I think they're talking like the green book and a lot of slave movies. Yeah. And black people think it's made for white people and white people think it's made for black people. And both of them said, like, we don't, what is it for black people? We're like this. We're like, this is not for us. Like, we know we don't like to be reminded all the time that. Well, we like to never forget. Yeah, I know. Yeah, right. You don't have to never forget certain things. Well, that's a, it was a reference to the Holocaust. That's a Jewish. It's almost like a LeBron is the chosen one. The Jews are never forget. I noticed also. 9/11. Never forget. They took that from us. Yeah. But we like to say never forget, we like to say, never forget about slavery. But, you know, we know it exists, but stop telling us it happened. We know. That's what Trump and the government right now is trying to do in schools. Do you really think that's a good idea? To take it out? No. Yeah. Stop telling people that it happened. No, no, no, no, no. What I mean is like, it's like we should know about it. We should know the history, the true history of it. But at the same time, it's like, oh, if you want this award, you got to play a slave. You can't have a nice line up. You know what I mean? You got to have that. I'm sorry. But I'm pretty sure that you won an Emmy without playing a slave. Yeah, but I had slave haircut. Was that my choice? I had to tell you a funny story. I remember I was there, and I was trying to get my barber set up. And they were like, no, you, you, uh, your hair, like, like, you're a, you're a, you're a state trooper in, in, in, in Fargo. You don't, you don't have a barber. Like you, you cut your own hair. And it was that whole thing. I was like, I was like, wait, but I mean, everybody can get a haircut, right? They're like, I was like, the barber shops everywhere. I was like, and they were very adamant about me not doing it. And I was, I had a little pushback, but then I thought, you know what, you're right. I'm just going to go as basic. I would go to the barber shop to get my haircut, but I would tell the barber, act like you just started cutting hair. Do not line me up. Just go, uh, one all around. Don't line the beard. Make it, just as scraggly as possible. But I just want you to do it. He was so confused. And he was just like, okay, I'll do it. And I would leave, you know, I usually like when you, when they do a nice fade on your hair, they'll like, take a picture. You're a celebrity. You know, they want the photo. I don't know that, but I believe you. But yeah, but this time he didn't want that photo. It was like, I don't know. I didn't know I did this shit. But then, but then I go and I went in and before it. And I was like, man, the slave haircut is real. And I talked to damson interests about this. I was talking with damson about it. And I was talking just like, just like the idea of awards and does it affect your performance after you've won something and we were talking back and forth. It's what perfect your performance. Just like if you win an award, do you then go, do you then change your style of, you change your choice of project to work on? Do you just keep doing what you're doing? And happens, it happens if it doesn't, it doesn't. And he was like, the idea of ugly in yourself up is better for is more real. Yeah. That's why the casting in British shows is so good. Yeah. No disrespect because there's a lot of beautiful British people. Probably just not on television. You know what I'm talking about? I mean, I mean, he shows, they're just like, they just, they just, you come here. Yeah. That mean that you're, I mean, it's so genuine and it's so real. So why have you gotten hotter with your success? Huh? Why have you decided to get hotter with your success? I didn't. I just, I'm the same gym. I was, I was at the gym beforehand. I actually put on weight for Fargo. I got sloppy for that show. So you're, you're going to be hot at the premiere in ugly on television, which I think is the best case scenario. Well, you, well, I mean, for that one, yes, but for, for, so despite a noir, no, I had to slick haircut in 19 years. But I was seeing these pictures and let's put some of them up. Yeah. I was almost like, I like, when I was setting up here, a couple of those images like popped in my head. And I'm like, I'm getting a little nervous too. I mean, I still know the more. Bro, it was different when I walked up this time. It was different. I would love to have video how he walked up. You walked up. You look bad. You said, you feel like a return of me. But he was, he was walking like this. Well, I just left the gym. And, and my trainer was like, we're going to do shoulders. And I was like, yeah, but that's the part of my body that hurts. And he was like, it's okay. We got a therapy again. And so I just worked out shoulders. And I don't, I don't, I shouldn't have. And they hurt really bad. I know you've had some shoulder issues. Yeah. And I, but I, you know, me, I'm a gamer. So I play through. You didn't, did surgery. I didn't have to do that. I just go through it. But it affects the way I live my life and walk. But no, the walk was different. The walk was so distracted with sunglasses on. Sometimes I'm not, sometimes I am. Mine are different. Mine because look at that. You could see everything. It's clear at the bottom. Am I not? I mean, I could see. But it's, mine is slightly tinted to match the color of the actual sunglasses themselves. When you get them prescription, they're also, you can't get them as dark as regular. So these are also lighter. Other prescription? Have to be. Oh, you don't, you don't do contacts or you don't do. Now, contacts and pants without elastic wastes. I just feel them all the time. So when they don't have elastic wastes, like jeans, I got some jeans with elastic wastes now. But yes, sometimes I wear them without elastic wastes. And I'm just, I'm not completely present usually. You have jeans with elastic wastes. What are my favorite pairs? What does that mean? I could show you. Are they like, the whole thing is real denim, but the waste yeah, expanded. Isabel. What's the designer? I don't know if it's named Maraji. Isabel. Isabel. I think so. Mariano. Marciano. I wear almost, I wear almost, every time I'm on stage, I wear them now because they're pants with elastic that I love. Maybe you see me wear them. I call them my Lauren Hill pants. They look like the stuff that people warn sister act to. The real baggy cool shit. I'm wearing some bag. These are Russell Westbrook's pants. This is a line. This is a line called honor the gift. When I first started working with a stylist when I was doing, you know, acting. Did you stop? No, I just saw you and fucking, dude, you're so funny and it was, it's been brief so far. You're popping in and out of the root of the very, very, very, very, but I, but I, but I fucking, hey, but I love the show. Thank you. I showed a while. I'm glad I do. And I didn't even, I did a shoot. I did like a round actors round table with Danielle deadwilder. And I was like, oh, she was talking, she was going to promote the rooster and I was like, let me watch it. Fucking fell in love with it. Yeah. You know, you work at something you don't know about it. If you're not part of it, you know, you just, I just read the, the pilot and then just the scenes that I'm in of the other episodes. Yeah. And then you're watching, I don't know. And people kept messaging me. I said this to Bill who created the show, but like, I could tell when people watch stuff when I'm in something for five seconds. And I get tons of messages about it. Yeah. I'm like, I got to check the show out. It was really good. But what I was bringing up is when I was working the stylist, I told him that the stuff I'm looking for, my, my influences were Woody Harrelson in the 90s and Russell Westbrook. Bro, go check out honor the gift. Okay. You're gonna, you're gonna, you're gonna be obsessed, especially if you like to be comfortable. A lot of other stuff has like, they have tops like this, like shirts like that that are sick. And they have a lot of sweats, like they're sweat pants and hoodies and their workout. Oh my god, it's so good. Do you get it? Do they send it to you because your friends with them? No, I bought it. I bought a bunch of it. And then I reached out and they had sent me a couple of pairs of like things. But and these jeans were one of them. I didn't think I would like them at first, but I'm not gonna lie to you, bro. Okay. I get, I get, I get the butt now. We see. You want me to stand up to show you? Yeah. You want me to, like you want me to do something? Hey, I don't want you to just stand up if that's what you're asking. Actually, I'll show you how it works. I'll show you how it works. I'm at the court, right? I'm sorry about that, but I walk in. I walk in. You know, walk this way. I'm walking from this way. Here you are. You're already. Oh, here you want that, you want that, that's, yeah, take that, you got to hit the pedal, yeah, to drive the pedal and go on and drive it. Now, you'd be good, not too far, you'd be out front. 50 bucks, guys. I got that, whoo. Hey, fellas. Oh, hey, y'all, oh, shit. Butterfingers, right? You really do have a, you really do have a nice butt? Yeah. Do you play baseball in high school? No, you know, baseball wasn't for me. You know, one thing I realized, I never played a swinging sport tennis baseball golf softball never did. My love, I got the fourth reading sports. Two of them were baseball and softball. What else is there lacrosse? Oh, yeah, they had lacrosse when I was coming when I was from they have that south side of Chicago, those know lacrosse. Lee Roy Brown, bad, bad Lee Roy Brown. But yeah, so I just never played baseball because I was never good at it. And I realized when I'm golfing, it's taken me a lot longer to become good because I never, I wasn't used to that process where it's like my swing looks bad like LeBron swing. But just the better golfer than him, but are you better friends with LeBron or Russell? I'm not friends with LeBron at all, but where Russell, we see each other, we're very cordial. I think we follow each other on social media. Did, um, I think we've talked about in here, but there's a cool video of of LeMoran. I don't know if there's video of it. I remember I saw a documentary or something that came out a while ago. You crossed them up. Well, we were kids across from them. That's probably why he doesn't. I mean, Maverick knows about it. Brian Linhorse covered it, but I feel like he doesn't because that happened, he doesn't respect me. So when we see each other, it's like he doesn't see me. I most people call me the Kingslayer. I used to follow LeBron closely. Obviously, there were people who wanted to come out and get the best of him. So it was game point, right? And I'm bringing the ball up the court. Now, LeBron wasn't on me at first. So I caught pick a role. So now LeBron is on me. Now we in the mismatch. Okay. Mouth in the house. Okay. Indian in the cupboard. And that's when I hit him with them. OO! hit him with the jab, jab, heavy cross. So he went down in front of everybody. You guys were in high school, middle school? We were freshmen, freshmen in high school, you know what I mean? We were 14. Mayor Pasqualee's was there. You know, shout out to Mayor, was there. I'm just gonna handle that. Went down, he was embarrassed, you know what I mean? But life, you know what I mean? Life, what do you wanna do? You go up to be the goat in basketball. I get it, you don't wanna revisit your past. You don't want those demons coming back to haunt you. You know, maybe when he retires, he can, he can talk about it, have a little bit more humility. But I think right now he's still in his, you know, he's the king, so. - So what do you think, like maybe after he retires? - I think after he retires, he can probably admit it. - Do you think he'll retire within the next five years? - He's gonna retire in two. - I think he's gonna, I think he might be the first, I mean, a player to play in his 50s. - Yeah, he could. I think he could. Because right now he's top 12 players in the NBA, and he's gonna be 42 this year. - Do you think he said that, do you wait or retire? Because he's like, I wasn't good, great anymore. He's like, I could still play. And then he's like, I could still probably play now. He said, you know, you gotta put that out there. So I feel the same. But he's like, but LeBron is still great. - Yeah. Yeah, I think when you play at that high level, there's something about being mediocre that just can't, you just can't do it. You're still, you could still earn $20 million a year, but you just don't want to. - Sometimes, I feel like I should still be in the league. - Oh, that's good. That's good. Jab, jab, cross, he. - Swing, what does it, what does he say? - What's the guy? He goes, jab, jab, cross, he's swing. - You know what I'm talking about, right? - Yeah, filet. - Yeah, filet. - He's does he say, swing. - filet. - Yeah. - Oh my god, look at that. Hoops, am I right? - So how come you have this attitude and this love of the game of ball is life? And you have since I met you. And I mean this, like, I think you're so awesome. It's so many things, but you've never really been a good basketball player. So why in your head do you have the confidence of one? Lamoran? - Because I, I've been good at basketball my whole life. It's just that when you take on two mediums and you want to excel at two, something has to go. So I played basketball my whole life. I dare anybody out there to say they were better than me, except for the ones who were better than me. Like don't. - Yeah, everybody who's better than you is. - You probably have a family. Just fucking be with your family. Leave, get off my dick. - But if you have ever played with them or you know what he was like and you're better than Lisa and the comments. - My group of friends, they know. They know what time it is. - You group of friends like improvisers? - No, not before, before high school friends. They know I was nice. However, I picked up acting. Okay, and I don't know, and like what should, here's what you don't want to do in high school. 'Cause I understood at an early age, right? You don't want to peak too high. If I'm good at, if I'm fucking great at basketball, if I'm fucking great at acting, if I'm fucking great at fucking. All those things in high school. - All those things in high school. - Is there one? - Fucking. - Having sex? - Yeah. - Okay. - If I'm fucking great at all those three, then where are you gonna go? - So now, are you great at acting? - Yeah. - So no, you're no longer great at fucking or basketball. - Great at fucking, 'cause back then, I was lying about being great at fucking. I had them convinced that I was great at sex. - But I wasn't. - But here's what I'm confused about. If, when you were in high school, you were had them convinced 'cause you were great at making them believe that. That means you were a great actor then, which means you couldn't have been great at basketball and fucking. - No, no, no, no, no. I didn't say there was a, there was like a two out of three situation. - You just said you could only be one. - No, no, no, no. I said you can't excel at all. - But if you were already excelling at acting in high school, how could you be excelling and fucking at the same time? - Well, because I was excelling at basketball to start. Then I started acting and I was like, whoa. - But you had to be a good actor to convince people that you were good at fucking. - Right. - So I was a great actor in all aspects. Great basketball player. - But how do I know that you're not lying to me right now about basketball? - Oops, check the scoreboard. Look at that. And my hands are sweaty 'cause I'm a hooper. Look at that. - What? - A hooper. Like the players, they get the chance to get the chalk and just shit on their hands out. - Let's not bury the lead real quick in case we don't talk about it much. When does, when does, uh, - Fuck this. - Spiderman come out. - Fuck my fucking dick. - Spider-Man. (laughs) I ain't got no webs, but I could do this. - The ball's a little flat. - No, no, my hands are sweaty. - Throw it to me. - Oh, good luck. Throw it to me. Throw it to me. (laughs) - When does it come out? - The 27th of May. - So, uh. - Prime, Amazon Prime. - Uh, it's this week. - Yeah, that's this week. - Yeah, it's gonna come out. - All right, well make sure y'all go ahead and watch it. Y'all been good. - It comes out, um. - I'm lemon. - It comes out today or tomorrow? - Peace, y'all. Peace. - Thanks for coming over, dude. - Thanks for having me, bro. Can I get a ride home? - It comes out in color in black and white. - It does. - That's the coolest thing about it. - I know that's cool. - It's not the coolest thing about it. - I said it. - I said it, but then I regret it, saying it. 'Cause that's not the coolest thing about the show. Coolest thing about the show is fucking Nick Cage, dude. Nick Cage is insane in a, in a great way. - Mm-hmm. - I've never worked with anybody like him. - Have we worked together? - Technically, yeah. We have worked together. I am phenomenal. Unless you don't count that as a real production 'cause you did it. Which shame. - I got on you. - No, you were just doing me a big favor. I was just a stupid light. - You're just a stupid, stupid cook. - No, your cook had crushed it, dude. You were a phenomenal. I keep telling people. - I was, I got to say, I don't know what your, I don't know what your other friends have said to you, but I've said in the beginning of your podcasting days that this is the best show. I've told you that. You can cut to it. Could you, you want to cut to it? - I don't know where. I don't even remember you saying it. - Find the footage. If it was a terrible show, would this be my seventh time on it? Maybe eighth? I got shit to do. Check the Apple watch. - What do you have to do? - Be a dad. You know, I have my own, I have two, I gotta go home and record another episode of the New Girl Rewatch podcast that I do 'cause I love the fans so much. There's nothing to do with the money. - No, I was just, I sometimes fantasize about one of my crushes leaning over to check to see what the top of my hat says. - Hannah Simone? - Who's your crush? - Whoever it is, it's a rotating pool of women. But I was just rubbing one of their nipples. - Oh, 'cause this up here, 'cause she dipping down. Yeah, it's like that chick out of Barbarian, that little alien bitch who came from the ground. - I don't know Barbarian. - Justin Long, he and Airbnb and there's somebody living in the basement. - The only thing I know about people living in the basement and I don't even know if really a basement is that movie with Howie Mandel and one of the Savage Brothers where they go under the bed and those goblins and ghouls down there or something. - Ah, Matrix, Revolutions. - Was that, was that, Revolutions? Resolutions. - Watch the movie with Howie Mandel and one of the Savage Brothers where they go under the bed and there's Monsters. - One of the Savage Brothers. - Matrix Revolutions? - Yeah, that's called Revolution right there. - Now it's called Little Monsters. - Oh, like Midget Monsters. You imagine. - Midget is not an offensive term. - Is it not? - I don't know what's an offensive term. - 'Cause I have a midget friend and I think he doesn't like to be called a little person. So what do I call him, just his name? - That works. - Is Midget Offensive. As long as you don't say the color of the midget. (laughing) - Unless you're a white midget. - White midget is fine. - White midget. - White straight midget. Movie idea, I'll pitch you later. - White midget. - A midget of color. - Yeah, 'cause that could span. Like if they light skin, sometimes you don't even know. Like if you told me Steph Curry was Mexican, I'd be like this. - True. - Wait, what do you, I'm not following the logic. - Yeah, you could say midget, you could say midget of color. - No, I understand, but I'm saying what is the Steph Curry thing? - Meaning in Mexico. - Like he's like, he's, he's, he's a, he's, there's been some colonization going on there. So he's team light skin. - What do you mean? - Look at his skin tone. He's not, he's not Jaiman Hansu Black. He's also not, he's also not Tyreek Withers light. Tyreek Withers is mixed, but he likes skin light. Steph Curry got a little tint, like he'd be on vacation all the time. You know what I'm saying? Because both his parents are black, but they're mixed black. So when he, when they make him, you know, he like a, like a golden, golden. But then, like you look at somebody like Miguel, who's got some Mexican in there. - Miguel the singer? - The singer. You look at Miguel, you go, are you Mexican? Like, yeah, Miguel, Miguel, you like, oh, can he say that then? Miguel could say it because I think you might be black too. - Well, then what is it? I don't know. And that's, that's, that's kind of what we all need right now. - Is it? - You agree. A little bit of ambiguity or a little bit. - I just homogenized cultures because we already have that with our inspirations. We already have that with our algorithms. So like, you know, like, and correct me if I'm wrong, because I don't want to speak on the entire black experience. But speak on some of it. I will speak on some of that, that I've heard, at least in the early 2000s, that black women didn't always love when black men ended up with white women. - Oh yeah, that's still a thing. - Now, more so, black women have a stronger point of view against that, again, this one, I'm not sure of. Then black women, you know, men that have a strong, that they do not have as strong of a point of view of black women with white men. Is that correct? That's correct. What I'm saying is, if that's the case to make everybody happy, let's, let's, let's do more of black women with white men. Yeah. And then we have more Miguel, but that's Mexican, but, but you said it might not be because you said the other word. No, no, I know he's Mexican, but I don't know Mexican and what, he could be Mexican and black. Now, question for you. Now, if you had a Miguel, a Miguel is more Mexican to me than Miguel, Miguel. If you had that, but both parents, at least one parent was full white and the other parent was at least half white, wouldn't be Michael, similar to Stefan versus Stephen Erkel or Cal. So you say, if the parent, one parent was white, I'm saying the pronunciation of the word. Is the pronunciation of the name have to do with the culture or is it just a different name? It's culture and it's easier for other people to digest because like sometimes like, when people be rolling them ours and it's hard for me to roll them ours because I'm not used to rolling them. So if somebody like, like, like on Spider-in-a-Warm, one of the fucking most phenomenal actors you'll see here and then it's gotten glorious, gotten, that I say, Karen, I say it like, I say it, I don't say it correctly. I don't say it how, how does she say it? Got it. Got it. But I sound like a fraud when I'm trying to, when I'm trying to sound like her, got it. So I just be like, Karen, and she cool with it. You asked her. Yeah, yeah. She's similar to pronoun stuff in a way where you have to ask the person what you want them to, how do you want them to say it? It would be nice. It would be nice if you, if somebody sang your name incorrectly. I had a guy on New Girl could call it me Lamar for seven years. I never corrected him because I ain't had a time. But I was just like, and he looked like he meant well, he would bring me gifts and shit sometimes, but he'd be like Lamar and I was like, I didn't have the heart to tell him why. I don't know. Because it feels rude. It would be rude of you. Maybe he had a speech impediment. Maybe the boy was plumb dumb. I don't know. But I was just like, he didn't hurt me. He know who I am. My name is right there on the call sheet for seven years. My grandma calls you. My grandma changes and my grandma loves you. I think I told you this. She asks about you. She asks about Sullivan and you, what do I see her and almost every time it's different. It's always close. Lamar, Lamar, La Monde. What? Because she's racist. But this guy is different. Well, this doesn't really feel like a party. Now it's a party. Look at this stuff. Look at this. Isn't it neat? Wouldn't you say my collection's complete? Not yet. Because you might need to see something. Look at these swim trunks. Are those swim trunks engineered with four-way stretch fabric that handles swimming laps? Just as well as it handles lounging? You tell me. Bullseye. I just got them. They really are nice. Play with this. Do you think chubby's make your legs look better? You say chubby's? Yes. And not only they make you like you better, they make your legs have a full-on heart-on. Right boys? Hi. Chubby's is celebrating 15 years. The original shorts that redefined proper-length shorts are back. Same iconic fit, same comfort, first design, and the same easy-going vibe that built the brand. By the way, give your thighs the VIP treatment with chubby's. They deserve it. This is chubby's too. Oh, it's beautiful. This is good beachwear, man. Yes. For a limited time, chubby's is giving our listeners this can't be right. I thought it was 10%. No. It's a full 20% using cotiso. Yeah, at chubby's shorts.com. That's 20% off your order with cotiso at CHUBBIESSHORTS.com. Give your thighs the VIP treatment they deserve with chubby's. Supporter show. Tell them we sent you. And if you want to look, hey guys, guys, what are you doing? I dropped something. What did you drop? A chubby? It's Jon Oates, by the way, everybody, of Derral Hall fame. This episode is sponsored by Shopify. Now, Tom, when you buy stuff from a website and they're not Shopify, do you ever get confused on how to use that website? All the time, man. What do you do? I go to Shopify. By saying, what if somebody is selling stuff but they don't you Shopify? You just don't buy it or what do you do? Why is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all eat commerce in the US? Wow. From household names like. All birds, scams. Perfect. Get started with your own design studio with hundreds of ready-to-use templates. Shopify helps you out a beautiful online store that matches your brand style. Chokes aside, they know what they're doing. If you don't know what you're doing, you go to Shopify because it helps implement and create your store. If you do know what you're doing, would you guys ever be some people that you Shopify? When I what? Yeah. Yeah. I like the iconic shop pay purple button. I also love the shop of I sound every time I make a purchase. What does it sound like? Oh, it sounds like something like this. I don't even feel like this. How do you do it, too? Yeah. Whoa, whoa. I asked you to make a shop where I was not. Not look like you're hooking up with. Now, if you want to know why we talked about him hooking up with. And also, if you want to know who we are saying because that was bleeped, we just filmed a Tisso retreat behind the scenes world of podcasting with our editor John Michael or animator Tom or cameraman and vibes collector McCone and our sound mixer Christian. And we're just in the living room drinking a little champagne, getting a little weed and seeing if we could get Tom to say more than 35 words. But now during that, the lower third of Shopify went away, but not the lower thirds back up. Get the word out. Like you have a marketing team behind you. Easily create email and social media campaigns wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling. It's time to turn those what ifs into. Chit-ching. With Shopify today, sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com/Tisso. That's shopify.com/Tisso. This episode is sponsored by Klerna. Now I understand there's a lot of obstacles that you have that not everybody has in purchasing a pair of shoes. Is that correct? Yeah. Well, why don't we give it a go and see if it's easier with Klerna? Okay. I would love a pair of Nike shoes. Klerna offers value, transparency, control and no surprises. So I'm going to go grab some men's shoes. Staying control of what you spend. And maybe I'll go into lifestyle and see what's going on there. Flexibility and less pressure. See I like a low shoe and I need something that, because not only on my feet big, they're also wide, a lot of good options. You have to find a shoe that fits that big foot of yours, kind of like Cinderella. I grew up, people calling me Cinderella, I'd really appreciate it if you could bring it up on this podcast. Absolutely. I will say though that maybe you just have a bad taste in your mouth of like have you seen Cinderella man? No. It's fantastic. Michael is choosing the shoes that he wants. Let me just let you guys know again. You've probably seen Klerna as a payment option to check out, but did you know that Klerna not only helps you manage payments, you could also use it to earn cash back in perks? I think I found a pair of shoes that I like. The only issue is it might be difficult to buy them in a way that doesn't feel flexible because of how big your feet are. No, it looks super flexible. I have a size guide and everything. I could actually get them in my size, which is 15 and a half. That's a size 20, my friend. You're a 15 and a half. Okay. All right. So I have my shoes. Download the Klerna app today or visit Klerna.com to learn more. California resident loans made or arranged pursuant to a California finance law license. Tom. N-M-L-S number. One, three, five, three, one, nine, zero. It's easier to remember that way. Klerna balance account required to be eligible for cash back points, limitations, terms, and conditions. Apply. Man, just scooped them up. That was actually very easy. This episode is sponsored by Revolve Man. You've probably heard of Revolve Women if you're a woman, probably, because it's a hot, it's a hot shopping network. It's hot. I know. I mean, before Revolve Men even came to me, I didn't know that they did men's clothes. I knew of this app. I know people that use it. Oh, yeah. Wow. They do do men's clothes. Yeah. And I've been buying stuff on it. So when I first found out about it, I used it just to like to better understand how it works. But now, like, it's kind of a thing I go to. I like clothes. I got into clothes a couple of years ago. There's certain brands I like. Revolve gets new stuff all the time. You could say it's constantly changing, like, and adding to their inventory free two day shipping. I've been ordering stuff from them where like, oh, I like this. I don't like this. Where the idea is almost like trying it on. So like, I don't feel bad if I'm ordering stuff just to try on. Hey, John Michael, who is the Revolve Man? Think of it as a place, guys who care about how they look, go to shop. It's pretty simple. So if you're looking for something to wear for a big night out, a wedding, a trip, or you just need something last minute that actually works, believe me, Revolve Man has it. Go to revolve.com/tiso to shop and use code Tiso for 15% off your order. Free two day shipping, which is awesome, easier returns. Awesome. You just try stuff on. It just makes everything easier. It's revolve.com/tiso and use code Tiso for 15% off your entire order. Offer and soon do not sleep on it. This guy is a sweetheart, you know what I mean? Um, your grandma, oh, she's awesome. Your grandmother's the best, I say. I couldn't keep going with the bitch. I cause I just, she is a sweetheart. I think you met her once. I met her once by seeing a big impact. I've seen a clips of her and like, she's so funny. Like if I'm saying the fact that she asks about you still, yeah, is after having, having met her once. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is there something connected to meeting my grandma once and her liking you so much that 10 years? I mean, I think it was 2018 because I think it was Billy Magnussen, Magnussen, Magnussen, uh, Lamoren Morris shut up. You know, Brent Moran, yeah, and I, uh, we were in Cleveland. We went to, uh, coincidentally, we saw each other at, that's where I met Billy at, I think it was a finals game. The last time the calves were in the Eastern Conference Finals, until this year, I don't remember who it was against. Okay. And I'm not positive. It was the Eastern Conference Finals, but we went there. I think that year 2018. So I was eight years ago, bro. Holy crap. And that's where you met my grandma. But what I was going to ask is, and I'm being sincere, you meeting my grandma and her loving you that much that eight years goes by, she still asks about you to your success in this business of people obviously liking you to giving you these jobs, not that you're not talented to get them, but both things have to exist to get to the level of success you have. I think it's energy to be honest with you. I think people, uh, I think, I think the cats out of the bag, the old Hollywood of people being dicks and assholes and, uh, pieces of shit, I think that's going out of the window. The newer generation isn't putting up with it. People were mean, people were excluding folks from this, from the party. And I think nowadays, kind, you lead with kindness, you cheat people with respect. That goes a long way. And, you know, that's one thing I pride myself more than talent or more than mobility. More than talent. That's right. That's right. Well, more than anything, I think it's, uh, I think it's leading with kindness and love. And when you do that, I think that, that spreads. I think that spreads like wildfire and people, I talk about this a lot in, uh, I've been doing a lot of press for Spiderman and, and folks ask me like, what is a hero? And, and you'll see one of the themes of the show is what is a hero. Say, Rick, say, Rick, you know, say, Rick. And I think when you, okay, so there's, I can, I can name people that I, that I know. Right. That might be considered hero. Yes. Heroic. Um, for example, Adam Ray, right, hero, he's an inclusive guy. He likes to have live shows where he can bring people on stage. He likes to make fun, but it's with heart. Say, Rick. Then you got people like, um, like myself, right? I like everybody to have a good time. I like smiling at people. I don't know any more people that you mentioned. That's probably it. I would say in the comedy space, in particular podcast comedy space, in the drama space. Yeah. There are some cats that I think that like, like Nick Cage, again, I, I bring it back home. Um, Nick Cage, kind, respectful, gives you a glance, let's, let's you know, I think you're in the pocket right now, like, let's go with that, you know, I, have you talked to him about his relationship with share? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't, I don't get too personal with him. Did he have a relationship with share? Moonstruck? Uh-huh. No, I didn't ask him about that. Rick, we keep it, we keep it PG, we keep it positive, positive, and what's the G stand for? What's the positive in G PG is positive and what's the G stand for? Gay. So with Nick Cage, you keep it positive, gay. What does that mean? Positively happy. I don't know if share brings him sadness or she brings him delight. I don't know that. So what I don't want to do is tap into something. So you've been asked, people have been asking you what, what a hero is. And I tell them all the time, lead with, it's a person who leads with love. And I know a lot of people that do that and they don't realize that they're heroes and they're on right. They don't realize it. You smile at a person when they're walking down the street. You never know what they're going through. You could smile at a person who's ready to fucking go whoops somebody's ass. You know, when I'm walking down the street and I see people, yeah, I don't know. I don't just smile. What'd you do? A lot of times I walk by. I go, hey, or good afternoon, a good morning. I don't say how you're doing though. You don't say how you're doing. I mean, unless I'm for whatever reason, I'm curious how the person is doing. Okay. But a lot of times, my intention is more acknowledging their existence. It makes me feel good too. That's good. That's good. You know why? Because we're all connected. Energy. You're giving out energy to give yourself to get to get that positive reinforcement back. I think everybody stayed up. I give you a story. I was younger. I was 18. I was going to second city. I lived in the burbs at the time and I was going all the way out to the city. Let's take a train. And two buses. There's a whole thing. Right. And I didn't have a lot of money. I was waiting tables. And so sometimes I would have adjusted. I knew how much the bus costs. I knew how much a sandwich would cost. I knew how much the train and the bus would cost to get back. I would have that exact amount in my pocket. And no, I'm talking no excess, like by the time I got home, there was zero dollars in my pocket. This one time I'm walking on a bridge. It's pretty late. And I'm rushing to get to the train. Unhoused gentleman is walking by and he says, God bless you. And I say, God bless you brother. And he stops me. He goes, hold on, hold on, hold on. I've been on these streets for 27 years. All right. You know. Yeah. He goes, I've been on these streets for 27 years. And all this time, I've said, God bless you. There's so many people. Could be hundreds. Could be thousands. All these years, you're the only brother that stops and said, God bless you back. And I take that as a sign. And I said, hey man, I said, listen, I want God to be present in your life as much as I want God to be present in mine. And he said, I hear you brother, and he goes, hey, to do it, you know, I know we on the street typical there's a, he goes, there's a little bit of medication that I need. I'm not doing great. Obviously, it's like my mom is diabetes and I just want to help her out with her with her diabetes medication. I want to go wall grains pick up some medication. Is there any way I can get some money from you? I said, dude, I have just enough. I'm so sorry brother. And we had this pleasant exchange and I just enough to, to, to get back home. And then he goes, it's dark outside. And if I wanted to, I could hang your black ass from this bridge and I want nobody to know the difference. But I'm not going to do it. The man proceeded to plead his case and then leave and I just kept this serious. This is a real story. It went from such a pleasant exchange to I could kill you right now and I'm not going to do it. Again, 10 years later, I'm in Chicago with D-Ray, D-Ray Davis, we're at a, we're at a restaurant, like some, like late night restaurant after a club or something, we're in line ordering food. Guess who comes stumbling in? Give me three hints. Move my fucking thread to kill me. He comes in and he goes to D-Ray A, brother. Did you recognize him? I recognize him immediately. As soon as he walked in, he goes A, brother, listen man, hate to do this to you. Try to get money for his mom's diabetes though. My mom. She's got diabetes. I looked over at him. I said, nigga, she ain't dead yet. I said, how long should we wait for this medication? He's like, excuse me. I said, bro, 10 years ago, you said you was going to hang me from a bridge. If I didn't give you that money for your mom's diabetes, he was like, brother, I've never met you before in my life. I said, no, you have. Did you say God bless you and he goes, that's what happened one time. That was you. No, I should have, but that dude was just to be clear, this is what a hero is. Yeah, that's what a hero is, even in the face of danger, even when somebody threatens to hang you from a bridge, you still don't give him the money, but remember that face. So if he asks you again, you know, not to give it to him, even then. That's right. Because you're only supporting the terrorists. Do you know the song that goes like this? And a hero comes along, I like that, with the strength to carry on, not like that, but it's already high. When a hero comes along, there you go, there you off be strength to carry on, the wipe would be off beat. Like a motherfucker. It happened on the one and a two. Oh, God. It's not off beat. Oh, God. It's not off beat. It's not off beat, dude. It's just the downbeats and this is a thing. I know I was off key, but I want to have a serious conversation. I wasn't off beat. It was the downbeats. It was the two in the four instead of the one and the three or the one and the three instead of the two and the four. Whatever it is, I do it wrong. I do it the way that people don't do it. And I remember I figured this out so long ago, because it was a video that Harry Connick Jr. was doing where the audience was clapping at the wrong thing. Okay, man. I marched by a beat of my own drum. Do you? Oh, God. Now, you would go like this. You would be there, but I'm here. You're here. That's not a blanket statement. This is where you are. And I'm here. But I wouldn't know until I hear lyrics or hear something else. Some sort of flip mode and period. You know you love it when you hear us on the radio. You would go, I would go flip, mode and perio. No, that's how you know you, okay, then I would go flip, mode and perio. So it's the same, but it's still on the beat. Most innovative video podcasts, okay, you guys talk con air or you don't talk, you'll just keep it positive. Right. We keep it positively gay. He, I did, although I do, I quizzed him a few times. I was watching con air and I sent him a screenshot of what was, it's a photo, like a random still of like the ground of the plane, I said to him, I said, what movie is this? He did not know. And then I had to like, up it, I had to send him another image, profile of, forget who. Sorry, it's a virus. Maybe or something. And then he was like, oh, yeah, yeah, he's like, oh, that old film, but it was on text. It was on text. I have the text. So you just know his voice as he's typing it. Oh, yeah, yeah. My birthday is July 14th. My daddy's coming home July 14th. I'm going to see my daddy for the first time ever on July 14th. Another movie and the money gets it. Con air, dude. That's such a good movie. The first I thought it was like, you were telling about your dad's birthday for real. And I was like, oh, I know you've seen your dad and it's not for the first time. But she never visited him in prison because she didn't want, he didn't want her to see him in prison. That's right. That's right. Yeah. Have you, have you, did you do any scenes with him where you watched? There is a known thing, it's ambiguous, but there's a known thing about Nicholas Cage, which is he makes very creative and unusual choices to the point where similar to cilantro, some people love it and some people think Nick Cage tastes like soap. I think he is so, you just want to watch him. You just want to watch. He is his own genre. I think Nick Cage is his own genre of filmmaking. That's not your own genre. That's just, no, I was talking about Jumanji, but you're also in, there's a bit of a rumbling in Jumanji. He's, he's, Nick is his own thing. Have you watched him? Yes. I've seen it. I've seen him go full cage. I've seen a director try to ask him to go full cage with trying to beat polite, not knowing you could just, he's going to get there, like he's going to do it at some point. But like there was a director, Harry Bradbeer, who was a fucking G, like a phenomenal director. And I remember him coming in and asking Nick to like, forget what he was asking to do. He was just like, you know, can you just, you know, just like up it, like almost like saying, like up it a little bit. And then Nick was kind of looking back at me and I was going to hit him. And then I was like, I think he was like full cage or something. And he said that to you. I said that to him. Yeah. He was just like, there we go. There we go. He was just like, yeah. I don't know. I'm going to get there. I just say that. I was just one of those things that it was just one of those things where you could see how aware he is of his mystique and his lore. There was a moment where, because a lot of actors aren't, a lot of actors or at least pretend that they're not aware of their lore or their mystique. A garden Rodriguez once was, we were doing a scene together and in between Nick is kind of like, either working his lines or something. He's just pacing back and forth on set. And Karen. First of all, he's hard not to look at. He's tall, he's larger than life on screen, like he's a presence for sure. And also, as students of acting, you want to see what he does. I want to see, I want to see what you eat for lunch. I want to, honestly, I want to see everything about your life to figure out how you become so efficient and good and great, you know. But Karen's watching him. She's going back and forth like this, like watching him. And I noticed that she's watching him. And the crew members are like doing stuff with lights in the scene. She's in the scene. Sitting at a desk, I'm standing in front of the desk and he's pacing on that side of the desk. And while the crew members are like fixing shit, you know. And I'm just watching her watch him and he, he stops and he looks directly at her and he goes, I'm going to steal the Declaration of Independence. He freaks out. She's like, oh my God, look, you can't do that to me. Oh, man. He's so, he's that's so funny. Also, what a feel good movie, man, too. Yeah. Yeah. And he goes, wait a minute. Yeah. I mean, Ben Gates. Ben Rionley. Ben Gates. When he starts putting it together, oh, that may be there in the same universe. But no, dude, he's such a, he's man, I've never worked anybody like him. I work with a lot of cool actors. I work with a lot of dickheads. He's the best. He's the absolute best. What a cool role, man. Thank you, dude. All right, man. Y'all be good. Listen, May 27th. It's tomorrow. Or might be today. Yeah. Don't be a stranger. Don't be a stranger. Come on out. Hey, Rick, man. Catch. Fucking bitch. Oh, I guess I dropped the ball. Now, here's something I want to show you guys. Some people will drop the ball. And now they're instead of being here, they're backward and you drop the ball. Yeah. And they're living in here. Okay. And. Okay. So, you know what I think? What? Oh, should I be disappointed that I'm human and humans have friends that see that the person that they're throwing the ball to isn't looking and is going like this and they're trusting that they're going to throw the ball in the hands. Yeah. I'm not going to be upset that my friend was unable to throw the ball into my hands. You. I'm not that mad at you. Now I'm catching. Are you? Yeah. Yeah. Both hands together like this. That's called reaching, yeah, meeting someone, halfway, go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Because Rick. That's not that hard. Rick, Rick. See, here's the problem in life. I think sometimes people want you to carry the load. When in fact, if this is indeed a team effort, will you do this? Will you do this a little more musically? Yeah. I think sometimes when this is a team effort, some people like to be steffered lists and what I mean by that is in fact that when you walk one step, they should take two, but no, they want to sit back in lieu of you doing all of the effort while they sit back and do none. And all they got to do is do some, you understand. Because when it's time to tango, it takes two to come. It's not a solo mission like chewing bubble gum. I'll never yuck another man's yum. You could be rich poor living in the penthouse or in the slums. Yeah. You could march to the beat of your own drum, but then I say, "Give me some more." Yeah. Time. They say it heals all wounds. But not me, yeah. I can build my own tomb, brick, glass mat, tomb and tomb. Glass mat. Yeah. Build you own tomb. I can elevate to the highest heights. This is the choice of choices. I might be right, but when she come into the room is going down tonight. Yeah. Long as intro to a song I've ever heard, long as intro, outro, you end up pop the top note. We can do it. Kendo, no stope, we know, don't step, can't stop, lick, we know, flow. No flow beat right here is not my favorite song. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I really got excited about it either. Also, but I could still rock it. They call me chef Sprocket, I gotta rock it. So Nick Cage, man, are you guys friends now? You know, friends, chef Sprocket, friends, they come and they go, but when you're on a TV show, you're ready to grow, huh, huh. If the show is big, then we gon' blow and who knows, we might be friends who we might be foes, but I don't know I count myself 10 toes down in the ground, and if you wanna come around and cool, be it, it's cool with me. I might just go ahead and sous-viet, sous-viet, when we grill steaks together, 'cause we're friends. We having barbecue and shit like that, huh, huh, huh, yeah, it's white and it's black. Another 48 hours, that's something I might cook up, cook up, I don't know if he gonna show up for supper. That's what I'll never say. I fucked her, but she was over there and we made love, I didn't mean to say sex or fuck, but I was trying to say something else 'cause she's a woman, not a slut, I might graze her butt, I won't touch it, I won't enter it. You're now tuned in to take your shoes off right here. Do you, out of ten times you're having sex with somebody? How often are you listening to music during those times? And this is the second time you've ever been with each of these people. You're like if I put on some death cap for cutie, I ain't getting no booty. But you might let me do my duty if I put on a little tuna, you see Lil Wayne the main. Ha ha, he might let me slay not him. Alvin's licking his own balls again. Say what you say and baby. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. I say Alexa, place something sexual and then I don't know what she's bumping next to bull. Because bull paws, balls, dolls, dolls, and dolls walls open up your balls, while jaws, dolls, and dolls, and balls. Oh, shit. Yeah. Alexa, next. Next, it's time for sex. Alexa, next. Damn, I'm you fating like a turtle, getting that brain, talking cranes, talking cranes, bang. Shout out to Crane, shout out to Leonardo, shout out to Donatello, Rafael, Michelangelo. They all had their turn with April O'Neal, bro, but no, she's no ho, she had to choose. She chose Master Splinter because she had a clue. She gon' get herself to the highest of heights. She gon' fuck the rat king at the end of the night. No man, show me some, I'll beat you up. We living in the sewers, nice to meet ya, patin' on the ceiling with the god and the finger touch. Like a Chinese finger trap. Yeah, she like when I look at her from the back. I can admire her, I can desire her. Uh-huh. I could change the tire for her. I'm a man. You gotta give us a, you gotta just throw a word out, and their rigs aren't going for an hour straight. Superfluous. What? Superfluous. Oh, you know what that means. Yeah. You said you never played swing sports? No. Battle run. You strike me as a good-ass badger. Yeah. I want to learn a word that doesn't matter. Uh-huh. It's a perfueless, it's what it means. I learned that in 10th grade drama class in a script. You heard me? I heard it. I said, "What does this word mean?" She said, "It's kind of like, it doesn't matter." I'm like, "Why don't you just say that?" You know what she said? What? Sit, sat, sat, sat, sat, sat. Drama, teaser, stop. I'm asking, trying to learn these words. I got dictionary.com, sending me verbs. Every week I get an email with a new ass word, I would read it, I'd forget it, and I would never learn these verbs. So I thought, instead of having a big ass vocab, it's a perfueless. Yeah, yeah, the theater class, I ain't no the words, adjectives, nouns, and verbs. I ain't no none of that. Till this day, I don't know none of that. On re-blooks, bro, I don't do none of that. I like to sit at home and watch my TV, but when they say big words, I turn that bitch off. Gee, you know what? I like being alone, I like being in my zone. I like being alone, in my zone. Leave me alone with my little vocab. The little vocab I have, I'ma end up just driving the cab. Ain't nothing wrong with that, but I ain't gotta talk to nobody. I ain't gotta talk to nobody at all. You want something to, thanks for driving in my Uber. Appreciate you. Want the windows down? King's radio station? You want some car charger? You need a mint? How's the radio? How's the seat bed? You want to go back and raise those legs? I can put the passenger front seat up so you could get some hat on the plane. I love you on that new girl, son. I love you on that new girl's phone. Tell me about Coach, is he as cool as his dad? I love Major Payne, he sleeps with his eyes open. Yeah, he's as cool as his dad. The weigh-ins, brothers, man, that's the best that we had. Yeah, comedy eye contact. They can do this shit on, on, and on. You got Marlon, Sean, Damien, and Damien, Jimmy. I got a car charger. You got Keenan, Kim, and all that. Yeah, they two damn funny. Yeah, they always wear a shades 'cause the future's so sunny. They hop around the comedy scene like bunnies. They got up expensive and lift. Why is this? But something about Uber makes me feel like a prince. Yeah, print it. The Uber stuff was really good. A lot of other stuff, we got to cut it. We got to cut it. I was out of my pocket, there was a lot of what's the song before that. I legitimately was doing the whole thing. Was so embarrassed and hot. Tell it. That might have been my, those might be some of my worst bars ever. Why is it that singing, rapping? I'll put those in the same category when it's like just being musical. Like, it's so embarrassing. It's not actually not embarrassing to me. I feel it. I'm not avoiding it, but I feel it. Here's the thing. There are times where I'm really good at it, and there are times where I'm really bad at it. So only because there have been moments where I'm so good at it, it carries you through. And I don't want the bad stuff out there because some people think I'm really good at freestyle. But like, we do this all the time. So you know, it's like 10% is like good. And if you cut the 90% of bullshit, we're going to look great. I usually leave most of that stuff in. I know. Because to me, I feel this way with vanity too. You want to look good. You want to be a good looking. You want to film something and you look good in it. But if you're not good looking, if you look bad, but you're being funny, it's fine. Do you care after that? No, no, no. First, people who watch your podcast, especially if people who see me on the podcast, they know I don't take it seriously. They know I don't take it serious. I don't unless you put on a serious beat because when you put on a serious beat, I don't fuck around. Oh, damn, now I got to put the headphones back on. I heard it soon. Take your fucking shoes. I heard a, I heard a tool when I enter the room. It's science. Boom. Yeah. Huh. I heard a tool when I enter the room. Look, I heard a tool when I enter the room. There's no exception. I came in the room. And for sure, there's no question. I am the type of person that's doing the molesting when it comes to the beat. You know, I am straight finesse. I am finesse in your mind, finesse in your butt. Yeah, girl, treat me like a slut. You can lay me down and do whatever you want to do to me. Why? You can do it around on me. What you do to he? I don't give a goddamn what she do. Yeah, as long as she know who she knew who was in the booth when she walked up in the room. She knew that I was parked here because I was speaking the truth. Yeah, that should come out so smooth. Yeah, come don't snooze out the mouth like a nigga with no tooth. You understand what I'm saying? Cause I got myself a plan. Yeah, I could grow cause I'm mean. I could grow cause I got no spleen. They took that shit out of room time ago when I was on lean. You know, I used to do that old shit. Yeah, yeah, I could grow cause I ain't got no tooth. I could grow when I'm in the booth. I could grow when I ain't got no spleen. They took that shit out of room time ago if you know what I mean. Yeah, pack it up, steal and thief. Yeah, we in a government of state of a no-one infection. Our mind is resurrection like a wreck of elections. Regular elections never happen inside of me. The Democrat is dead with a damn democracy. Democrat, the cops out in that pack. Mine are no kings and no debts or women's bodies. It's not a man's choice unless you vote for less assholes. Now hold up the tax, bring rich, the tax, the rich. Bernie Sanders said it's tax, the tax, the bitch, Trump taking the tax, the bitch. 1.7 million back to that, the rich, Jan 6. So, Jan, Jan, Jan, Jan, Jan, Jan, Jan, Jan, Jan, Jan, Jan, Jan, Jan. You know, that's so funny about that. It's so funny to get all out to go ahead. I know, but that's. Whatever I'm doing, whatever I'm doing, I'm doing a real blast. But in the impression they're thinking of the way you rap. There are certain words that come out all the time and they're never real words. And it's always. It's so funny. It doesn't matter with the words, you know? The only reason the words work is because they rhyme. Same, form and land, same, these songs, same one's born of a man. That's brilliant, too. Dude, let's do a whole song like that. Let's do a whole song. We do the whole Scooby. That one could work. Oh my god. I swear, whatever. Either I'm thinking of your freestyling ability. It's always. Yeah, there's a Thai show. ♪ I'm the same moves and I'm the same moves ♪ ♪ Ripples and scribbles are not in the style ♪ ♪ Hobbit of scribble and never to dip in the joke of death ♪ ♪ Stop her and talk her around ♪ ♪ Tell me to shut up and dribble and never to stop ♪ ♪ But I'm gonna talk about the chapter ♪ ♪ Coppin' and never to stop it and never to stop ♪ ♪ It's crazy to say when it came in the war ♪ ♪ When it's war over the left in the season ♪ ♪ It's the season of the door when it came ♪ ♪ She got the glow ♪ ♪ She had the law, she had the things ♪ ♪ She's gonna spooch me and come through the back door ♪ ♪ She was like nine ♪ ♪ I ain't with that shit ♪ ♪ I ain't with the bull, yes ♪ ♪ The BS is successful and the come through and the come press ♪ ♪ Put the glock on 'em and then zoom with the lock on 'em ♪ ♪ I popped on 'em, I dropped on 'em, I stopped on 'em ♪ ♪ Then I knocked on 'em ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ Back door kicked open, I was like, yeah ♪ ♪ I'm hoping I'm scoping, I got the magnum over ♪ ♪ Yeah, you can't go nowhere, you go downstairs ♪ ♪ Don't care about poppin', I shouldn't go with this ♪ ♪ Top poppin', got no hair ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah, I'm the man, I'm gonna be the same man ♪ ♪ I'm gonna be the same thing, I'm gonna be the same thing ♪ ♪ When I come through with the dream scene ♪ ♪ I'm trying to make through it, I'm gonna be the same too ♪ ♪ Look at that, I love you ♪ ♪ I'm saying to the type of dance, when I tap myself, I'm gonna be the man ♪ ♪ Yeah, sweat, me and you this man ♪ ♪ Come through, hot as hell, like I'm a fiend ♪ ♪ Yeah, that resurrect 'em, river fiend attack ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah, I got the push toys in the back doors ♪ ♪ When I come through, we make noise ♪ ♪ Your scope got the whole thing going on with the magnum ♪ ♪ This is a thorn, six shots go pop pop ♪ ♪ And the other two go pop pop ♪ ♪ And the other two go pop pop ♪ ♪ But I guess sweat, you can add 'em up, come up, pop pop ♪ ♪ Yeah, it's so fine ♪ ♪ Tepples and drawers, and never to stop ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ You laugh in a little, you laugh in a lot, uh huh ♪ ♪ It's sunglasses, you give it a mom ♪ ♪ You never to pop, twist the top open ♪ ♪ I lose it much, keep it in the dark ♪ ♪ Keep it in the fridge, freeze it for a little bit ♪ ♪ Never to laugh ♪ ♪ Take your shoes away, stop it, you just dead ♪ - Was the best rap I've ever heard you do ever. 'Cause it's so stupid. - Dude, that was, that was, I'll be, I'll be listening to that. That was so good. Also, you very much took on, not pop a doc, what's his name? - In 8 Mile, the one that, like the two pop with the boob job. - Oh yeah, with the tank top. - Yeah. (laughing) - That was very good. (laughing) - Hold your feet up, I feel bad, I gotta remember that dude from leaving the paper. (laughing) - A lot of, fuck a lot of, I get the seven digits from my dog friend, you know what I'm talking about. (laughing) - Yeah, that's my favorite version of you. What I just did is my favorite version of you. - That was, that was me if I'm in the pocket, dude. - Yeah, that was just you. - Oh, wow. - It was one of them. - Oh, flattered. (laughing) - I'm gonna try one more. No, fuck it, dude, because we go through these, and sometimes like, YouTube will flag them. So we have to, like, I always give credits of the beats, but we have to change them enough and try to do it in this such a fast turn around this episode. I heard him like, oh, this is gonna be a lot of work for this. - Wait, how soon are you putting this one out? - This comes out on the 26th of 27th. - Let's go. - Yeah. - If you're saying your show's out now or it's out tomorrow. - Dude. - Are you on like, are you on like Netflix or anything like that, or are you out, you branch out your podcast yet? - What do you think about that? 'Cause I just did, we just signed with Hulu. - Yeah, I saw that, but was it you that signed with Hulu? Or is it head gum that signed with Hulu? - Us, we didn't have to. - What do you get out of it? - You don't have to give them, we'll bleep any of the numbers, but I wanna know what you're getting. What made you wanna do that? - Our show is big on Hulu. New girl is big on Hulu, so we thought it would be a great companionship. - You getting paid more? - Yeah, we getting paid more. But it's not like astronomical numbers, but it's something, you know? - Yeah. - But I think like Jake Johnson did that with his podcast, we're here to help with Hulu. - With Hulu. - Yeah, we're both on head gum, we're both on Hulu. - Yeah, so but if you go to Hulu, the dashboard of New Girl, you'll see who's watching it there. - Huh? - Who's watching podcasts there? - I just-- - Who's the thing? I don't know. We haven't gotten the analytics yet. - Are you allowed to still be on YouTube? - Yeah, we're allowed to do anything else. - Oh. - They just-- - Why not? - They pay us for basically licensing it out, so they can show it there as well. When you watch New Girl, what fans have said that they've been doing, is that when our rewatch comes, let's say we're doing episode five, you know, season one. They go on Hulu, watch episode five, season one, then they watch our podcast. - Cool. - Or they, you know what I mean, that's how they digest it. They go and they do both. So it's kind of like one hand's watching the other. - Which is the best way to watch hands, if you're fortunate enough to have two. - 100%, 100%. I saw a nigga watch his hand and his feet like this at the same time. - That's how you watch your feet. - Yeah, but he's also watching his hand. - Is he? - Yeah. - Okay. - You know what I'm saying? Like people, here's what people don't realize. Are you masturbating or are you moisturizing your palms? - You know, it's interesting. As I've gotten older, I use a lubricant or lotion less and less. - You just drydog it. - I've just gotten so good at it. - You can drydog? - What's a drydog? - When you just rubbing it and tugging on it. - Oh, you wanted me to do a different bit. - No, I was just doing like, what's up dog? - Oh, wasn't it like, okay. - Yeah, I did it again. - What's a drydog? - Wait, what do you mean? - Like, what's up dog? Like, what's up dog on your shirt? - Try again. - What's a drydog? - There's a dog that used to be wet and then he did like this. - Is that it? - No. - Okay. - Yeah. - I don't really want to talk too much about it because my podcast has gotten real sexual over the years and I'm trying to just not make it as sexual anymore. - So you could beep out a lot of the freestyle that I did because I go lowest hanging fruit when I freestyle 'cause I can't think of words fast, but the only thing that comes to my mind is sexual stuff. - Yeah, well, how about this? - That's my childhood. - I'm fine being sexual because of your childhood. - How about this, how about I'll take out some of the wraps that you want me to take out and we'll just leave in your good stuff. - Leave in the good stuff. Yeah, leave in the good stuff because I want the fans to have a different perception of me going forward in my career. - Yeah. - But going forward in my career. - Now that you want an Emmy. - Now that I want an Emmy, I want, it's not even that, it's now that I'm working alongside Nick Cage. I want the fans to think of me as a prestigious individual. - Procedures individual. - Radio. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Are we going to get it? Are we dry dog in this one? Instrumental? - Fuck a beat. - I go a cappella. Fuck a papa doc. Fuck a buck. Fuck a glock. Fuck all y'all. Fuck all y'all who doubt me. I'm a piece of white trash and I say it proudly. - Yeah, there's a lot. I'll tell this 'cause they don't have something about me. Here, tell them something they don't know about me. - Ooh. Ooh. My favorite part of that whole movie is that do we ever hear Anthony Mackey rap? - Yeah, in the opening scene. - Yeah, he's one that makes them and I'm choke. Mark B. rabbit. Oh, I don't remember him rapping. - Yeah, in the first opening scene, you see him rip someone else just shreds. - Oh, oh, somebody else. Okay. - And he goes like this. Damn, maybe Anthony, I love Anthony Mackey. Anthony, shout out to you. But are you, is he, are you just a bad rapper that they just like we don't need? Nobody remembers. - He couldn't be a bad rapper. They wouldn't give him that role. Nobody, no, he's a great actor. I think that's why he got the role. I don't think anything to do is act. - Yeah, but like he said. - The little bow-wow wouldn't have been in like Mike if he couldn't hoop. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, but they wouldn't have given it to somebody who couldn't act. - They gave it to the little bow-wow. - Little bow-wow was a good actor. Fast, furious, Tokyo drift. - Stop it. - But I'm saying they give it to little bow-wow because he could hoop. - But mostly because he's a good actor. - You know, it's kind of like you would get in a relationship with somebody because they're a really good person and you guys have great connection. But also they got to be good looking. - Yes, and no. - That's what I'm saying about little bow-wow. Would you say that little bow-wow is acting in like Mike was like, whoa, look at this kid act? - Yeah. - Okay. - It wouldn't be his hoop. Little bow-wow can, he can play basketball. - He literally played on the nights as like a 12 year old. - Yeah, throw a picture. - As scripted in the scene. He was dunking. Yeah, once he put the shoes on. And here's something that's interesting. Yeah, but that's in the movie. In real life, he has to be able to do that. - He can't dunk in real life. - It's in the movie. - Little bow-wow in real life can't touch the rim. - Put a picture in picture while this is happening. Show it. - Shout out to bow-wow. Can you dunk a bass? Can you touch the rim? - I see him do it. - If bow-wow can hit, this is a real thing. I will put this out there. I think bow-wow is a great actor. I don't think it's enough credit. - We were talking about bow-wow. We were talking about when he was little bow-wow. - Okay, when he was little bow-wow, if little bow-wow, if you could touch the rim, back then. - The people who were watching are seeing it happen. Yeah, they're watching the CGI. - No, this was in the '70s, man. - The set, bro, Mike wasn't in the '70s, dude. - I was before my time. - Mike was probably like 82, 83. 1982, 83. - Oh, you know what? It has to actually be after '86. Unless they're talking about someone else. - Little bow-wow, if you're watching this, if you could show me footage that you could touch the rim, I will gladly give $50,000 to your charity of choice. And if you can't, glassman will give $50,000 to me. - But does it have to be a 10-foot rim? Does it have to be a 10-foot rim? - 10-foot rim. - Could you touch the rim right now? - No, and I tried recently. That's what I'm saying. I tried recently. I was like, when I say tried and tried and tried, I was always this close. And you think this close to getting into them, I think I do was just stretch a little bit harder. - No. - That's as good as I got. And I was like, fuck, I was right there. And I was like, okay. - So you've never felt what it was like to dunk a basketball in the game? - No, sophomore year in high school, like a dunk. Freshman year, I remember my brother going, I don't understand why you can't touch the rim. 'Cause we were at the park playing. And I was like, just not touching the rim. But he was like, but like, you play basketball every day. He was like, you can't touch the rim at the time. maybe. five, seven, five, eight, and my brother very athletic was like, I think he's like, show me, I jumped and he was like, you're jumping like a lazy person. He's like, you're jumping all calves. You're upright when you try to, when you approach. He's like, you're not jumping and using your quads and you're not doing any of that. And I was like, oh, Michael Jordan, does it? He just runs and he flies. And he was like, that's not how it works. He was like, you gotta get down and fucking jump. So my brother was showing me the mechanics of it. By the time we left the park that day, I was hanging on the rim. I was just jumping wrong, my whole life. And I was like, wait a minute. That's when you have no dad in your life. My father wasn't there to show me, hey son, you're jumping wrong, okay? He wasn't there when I was a kid. I was just thinking it. He wasn't there when I was pre-pubescent. Did you learn how to drive without him? I learned how to drive without him. I learned how to talk to honeys without him. I learned how to play basketball without him. I hung on the rim. I got pretty damn good too. Yeah, sure, I got cut for the basketball team. That's because I was an actor. And then I got really good at that. And I was also fucking, and I was, well, I think people would think that I was fucking, and I was good at those three things. So what the hell? Is he gonna teach me? - I'm about to love my kids. Why he don't love me, man? - Because he died. Oh, my bad dad. Wow. - Powerful stuff. That's powerful stuff when you think about it. (laughing) - Powerful stuff, man. - You're a special performer. - Thank you, thank you. It's real powerful stuff when it comes to me here. See, a lot of times when it comes to me here, people leave with fear. But when it comes to me here, you leave with heart, love, guts, glory. (upbeat music) You see there's no pain as in the game. (upbeat music) Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. See, this is no pain, no game. I'm in the foreign land, it come through. Yeah, there's a sandwich. It's gone with the man, man, it came through. Yeah, we used to poke in the sand, we used to eat nothing but french fries and spam. Yeah, I had a syrup sandwich and ketchup sandwich. It's so sandwich, sandwich, sandwich. Damn, what the fuck, don't slam me. It's like the cage on them. They like the cage, Johnny Cage. You have to hit 'em with the game over here. Yeah, yeah, let's full of rage. I had to finish him. But when I did with that, I had to cook glory and sand. I had no two difference between having hell. I don't know, sandwich, scound. I had to go through, come and serve me no bell. It had to go through the jacks. Forget the leather, get in the mail. We get the pals, it's sad family. We bailin' the smoke. Yeah, dreamer came through and ain't seen some moves. Stipin' cybin' ain't the game, see us. (laughing) - Wow. - Wow. - And that's when you leave with this and not with this. - When you tap into some of those voices sometimes, I almost told you before when you weren't feeling it, when you were rapping. And then you started doin' the different, but I was telling you, do your South African or do your English guy rapping 'cause when you do a character, I don't know what it is, but you just lock in. I think maybe is it easier to give yourself permission to not be you that, you know what I'm saying? - It's a vulnerability. - When I'm a character, I do what I want. It's easy to be a character. - 'Cause I'm the character. 'Cause I'm the character. (laughing) You see, a lot of times they don't understand what character is. (laughing) You see, I was there at the parties, but I was in the parking lot. (laughing) You see, at the time, my character was that of a voyeur. See, if you've read as many books as I've read, you understand what a voyeur is. Someone who watches, not participates, that would be an exhibitionist. And this ain't no museum. You understand. - Yeah, no problem, brother. No problem, Ricky, Ricky G. This has been great, man. This has been great. The reunion, you know what I mean? What time is it? - Almost 130. - Yeah, that's love, man. That's love. That's love. - I miss you. - I miss you, dude. - Sorry, I think my shade's off this route. - I do, I miss you. I miss being around you. (laughing) - Oh, dude. - Wow. - You was well, man. You're busy these days, right? You're touring a lot more, I feel like. - I don't know why, yeah. - Do you? - I get to special together. - Ooh. - First time, first special. - Dude, I'm so excited for you. - I feel real good about it, thank you. - I'm so excited for you. It's a, I feel like this is your, I feel like people, I think the world is finally understanding. How great you are. That is something that is kind of, it's just something, it's a nice thing to say with that I can't even, I don't even, accepting that feels like it would be a bad idea, because, go ahead. - You're right. I just feel like, just, for me, validation, just keep doing what you're doing. Jamie Foxx said something once. I think he's like, if you, people thought, like you want to ask her, you got to start doing things differently now. It's like, no, no, once you get that validation, let me just keep doing what you're doing. Keep staying, stay in your zone. Like, you have your own brand. - Yeah. - Well, your own genre. - I'm so glad that this podcast is doing well enough to where when I go on the road, there are people coming to buy tickets to see me perform. And what I really like is, 'cause I don't have really much stand about there, other than like improvised sets that aren't really my, my, my actors. And it, validation that I do feel comfortable accepting is when people say I didn't know what it would be like. And they look like, and they really like my stand up. Like, people think I'm a podcaster, 'cause I don't know my stand up. I've been in stand up for so long. So like when people see that and they're like, and then like I hear, and like, there are people that come to shows that were there and they come to the next show. And they, not just the next time I visit the city, like they bring friends to the show. And it's just, man, awesome. I, I love, I love my act right now. Dude, I went to the Netflix as a joke brunch and you know what I thought a number of times? Rick must be on the road. Where is he? I was on the road. That room, that room was wild. I saw those pictures. Bro, I was confused that I was there. I mean, I did a show for the festival, but it was still like, these are like on stage people. These are on stage legends and geniuses that. I felt like a fraud being there. Although funny person, actor shows on Netflix from the thing, but I was still just like, at one point, I was sitting in a circle with Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock. I was talking with Chris Rock, but he Murphy's literally standing right here to my name. Did they know you? Yeah, is that the first time you've met them? No, that's my, that's my first time meeting Eddie. Right. And he knew who you were. Well, he seemed like he did when we shook hands, but it was a quick, is he one of, is he one of your people? He's the person. Yeah, I thought he was. Eddie Murphy is numero uno to anyone in the entertainment business, as far as like, my admiration goes. Yeah. And I have my hierarchy, my rankings of who, what category and stuff. But Eddie Murphy, I think overall is the king. And that was my first time ever meeting him. And I was just like, I could have laughed after that. And I had a 20 minute conversation with Chris Rock. And that was one of the more eye-opening conversations that I've ever had with somebody. And it was like, you know, I don't know what it was. I was just like, I don't, like is there a hidden camera right here? Can someone capture this effect? I'm having a conversation with fucking Chris Rock. Was it because you were talking to him or because of what you guys were talking about? Both. What were you talking about? He was talking about how he generates material. I was like, why the fuck does Chris Rock want to tell me this? I wonder what did he say? He was just talking about how a lot of people, when they go and do a special, they are doing 40 shows to work on their special. And he was like, I'm doing 300. And he was just talking about, 'cause I was talking about a joke. I went to one of his sets where he was workshoppy material. And he started re-enacting the bit. And then he was doing it for me and Dave. So me and Chapella are sitting there. And I'm like, I'm like, dude, you don't understand. 'Cause I know Dave, but like, and we have a shorthand, and we have conversations, we talking. But with Chris, I didn't know him like that. I'd met him a few times, but like, these are the top five ever. You know what I mean, you could argue one and two between Chris Rock and Dave Chappelle. You could argue top, you know what I mean, like, these are, but I'm sitting there having this conversation with him about a joke that he said that was on stage. That I thought was so funny that wasn't in his special. And he was like, which one, man? I saw him at the improv. No, no, I saw him at a comedy store. And I was, he was like, which one, man? Well, it was joking. I was like, the Meryl Streep joke if she was, she was like an only fan's actor. 'Cause he's like, he was like, oh yeah, that, he was like, that was nasty, man. He was like, I might put it back in, man. He's like, if you're just saying he liked it. I was like, dude, it was, I was like, if you, I'm not sure if you pay attention that night, it was the, it got the craziest laughs. It got laughs, groans, uncomfortable. I was like, that's a joke you have to put in your next special. I'm not gonna say what it is, just because, you know, if he does put it in it, I'll tell you off camera. It is one of the nastiest, funniest shits I've ever heard in my life. But the fact that he was like telling me the kids process and he might put it in it. Dave was talking about it and, and then punching it up. Dave was like, I didn't, Dave added a joke on top of it. And I was like, I should not be here in this conversation. I feel like I'm fraught, I was like, get me out of here. That's successful as you are as many people you worked with. It's just like, we're still kids when you meet the people you look up to. - Oh, absolutely. And I'll tell you, it's that way with any inside baseball for me, I get that way with you. I get that way with my actor friends who are successful that we were just friends, but when I see people successful and I see people like, "Yo, this dude is this." I'm like, I fucking, I know, I was there. I feel that way about everything. Like when, like, for, like, when, I was giving you an example, when I'm doing your show, when I'm doing your podcast. Right? And then I'm out and about. And people will come up to me to be like, dude, I saw you in Rick Glassman's podcast. - Cool. - And I'm in my mind, yes, they just told me that they knew that they saw me on your podcast, but I always have to go, "Yeah, that's my homie." Like, I always have to add that on top of it because it's one of those things. It's like, I don't know what it is. It's like, like the kid thing. It's like, man, LeBron is great, right? It's like, dude, I was at that game. You know, I met him once. Like, you gotta add it. You have to add that little thing in there. And I do that all the time. - When people, I just had Matt McCuster on last week. Do you know who he is? - Absolutely not. - He's a comic out of Austin. He and Shane Gillis have a podcast. - When I say, "Absolutely not." Don't make it sound disrespectful. - No, you just don't know who he is. Also, I want to shout out to the Austin podcast studio. I recorded the podcast and it was awesome. - I used to bring all my equipment on the road with me and now because podcasting is, I have been bringing four suitcases. - No, you don't have to. - Yeah, because podcasting is big. You know, there's studios places. But I remember I used to, and I would get hotel rooms and I would have lights and cameras and mic stands and mics. I mean, it was a whole to do just to get one or two guests to come to my hotel. But, wait, what were we just talking about? Why'd I bring him up? - Mike McCuster. - Matt McCuster. - Matt McCuster. - What were we just talking about? - Me being excited when I see you and I go, "Oh, I know him." - Oh, on that episode. I'm the Matt episode. No, I pinned the comment, I think. Someone today just found your podcast. It's awesome. What are some of the back catalogs I should look at? So I pinned that so people could say their favorite things. Or sometimes when I post up on Instagram, I'll even ask, like, who are the favorites tag him or whatever. And you, Adam Ray, Lisa Gilroy, Adam and Brent is a bit like Adam Brent together is a big one. Lisa Gilroy, you and Santino, I think are the ones that always come up. So many people say Lamor and I haven't had you on. You haven't been on it in so long. All the other people have. And schedule stuff, different stuff is no reason. But like, you are always requested to come on this. - Thank you, Matt. I have so much fun with you, man. - Dude, it's the best. We live close. - We live close, man. You feel free to just invite me, man. That's the problem. You don't ever invite me. - But also like, you're always busy with your new friends. - See, you give a black man some success of a sudden they don't know how to act. They get their new friends, their new friends. I forget about the little people. - Who are my new friends? - I don't know who you had on the podcast since me. You got the Matt McHuster's out here. Just all of a sudden, you got the best friends. - He's my new friend. - Anderson Dahl, that's just what I'm saying. Who the fuck brings a band in here? Dude, that's what I'm saying. - I never met him. I didn't know him and shout out to Christian who does the sound mix of this podcast now. He's a drummer and I just in case he was willing to play the drums. Christian brought over these drum sets. He had some, he borrowed some stuff because he found out he knows some people that are in Anderson's band. What type of symbols he likes to use? I guess you, I didn't even know you tune a guitar drum set. And also the height of everything and he did it with tape measures and he got into exactly what Anderson did. And I put sheets over it as if you can't see the drum set. I never met him. And Anderson comes in just in case he was willing to play the drums. One of my favorite episodes I've ever done. - Dude, that was insane. - Dude, he is. - That was insane. - So that's what I mean. Like good. - It's a lesson for people out there who are trying to be innovative or trying to, you know, podcast or just do what you want to do. And your people will, you will attract. It's like if you build it, they will come. That's what, I think that's what you've done. - I'd like to add to that. And I don't know if this is necessarily a skill set of mine but it is something I've been trying to get better at. Because I interrupt, I take control. I'm a lot of people, I don't like what I do. And that is what it is. But with that, I feel like I know where I shine. And sometimes it might cannibalize other energy. I've been trying to be very conscious of doing that without cannibalizing. And what I try and do is see where other people shine and try to create that environment too. And it's a lot easier than one might think. Find where people are funny or good at something, play the drums or whatever. And I remember I asked you this on my pot awhile ago, do you know where you're funny? Do you remember at this conversation we had? - Probably, but then I have no answer. You weren't sure, I told you where I think I know where you're funny. And then we probably wrapped and did different stuff for a while. But I think you shine in playing dumb arrogance. - Oh yeah, yeah. I love doing that. I love doing that. There's not many things that I'm not. I'm capable of a lot of things. Doing that started as a bit. And then it kind of made a lot of my career. And I didn't know that that's what. I just liked doing the bit. Then it made it on Cameron New Girl. That was one of those things that Jake Johnson and I would do off-camera a lot. And then it just turned into something. So I, so thank you for that. I appreciate that. You also have voices. And some people who could do voices can tap into a character. Some people could do voices. And that's great. Your voices tap you into a character. To where then I also realize it's not the voice. It's being able to tap into a character. So you're able to play characters very well. So whenever we could be locked into a yes and type of situation, I have an easier time playing straight guy opposite you because I trust your character so much. So like if me being more straight makes this thing more believable, which has nothing to do with me, it's just not getting the way of that. So when I see you overly confident or lying, I will immediately be like, okay, it's his time, you know what I'm saying? It's his time to shine right now. So finding those moments in people were like, oh, they could carry this right now. It's crazy. Because what's funny about that is that like, especially when I'm talking about basketball and stuff like that, I'm not lying. Well, you're doing it again. And I think it's fantastic. No, but that's different. I think as I hear what you're saying, I hear what you saying, but like with folks out there are watching, if you're watching, like you know what I do. Like they've seen me. That's not a, that's that's that's not part of the bit. That's like a real, I hope, you know what I mean? Like I get it. I mean, you know what I mean? But like let the past be the past, drop that bullshit. But I don't want people out there thinking like that I wasn't a fucking, I mean, I do know. I do know we were on a basketball team together. There was one player I remember. 'Cause of that basketball team. Really? Yes, that I remember because we, I was not, I wasn't the worst player on a team, but I was not the best player on a team. Definitely wasn't the worst. But it was one of those things. I just remember, I remember, it was hard to tell you, you took it so seriously, but as a bit sometimes, you're our best player. And then it's like you, Kyle and Brent, I want to say are probably the three best players on the team. One, one season we had Kurt. Kurt was better than me. Oh no, I willy Mack, willy Mack, willy in willy. Willy was just dunking everything. Willy, willy was, he, sometimes he would not be able to dunk because he accidentally hit his knees on the rim. He was a, it's a fucking monster. But to Willy Mack, but it's instrumental here. But I remember what type, I steal the book, like we're going down, we're going down, I steal the ball and I go up for a layup and it looks like I'm about to miss it. Because in my mind, I was going to go up like this and then switch with the left. And then you, all right, all I hear is, it looks like I was about to miss it. I don't remember. I was, I think about that all the time. Even when I'm like at home, just shoot around by myself. I'm like, what I want, what I want the left side of the rim, using my right hand, I just hear a little more. Because I was worried that you were going to do something stupid. Yeah, I would blow a lot of, I would, I would blow a lot of, like, gimmies. So I'm talking about, I'm a hooper, I'm a hooper. It's like missing layups and fast breaks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's, I never liked, I never liked stealing the ball at the top of the key. Too much pressure to get there. Like if I was down by the paint, love stealing the ball outlet. I got a steal and I got an assist. If I was at the top of the key and I picked somebody's pocket, I would be like, oh, fuck, like it's one on none. And I could relate to that from when I felt when I was learning how to play basketball. I remember, I remember layup lines. And then when I was at the left left side, you chew the lap and then you look behind to make sure it went in. I remember. Oh, dude, yeah. That was like, that was my, I remember playing the game. I learned how to finish. Yeah, dude, in a mural games, in a mural, no, no, this is a summer league. I play, I remember a summer league game once. And this was one of those, this was like, this is one of those things where I was like, there was a point guard that everybody loved. And then it was like, I'm trying to get his spot on the team, right? I was better than him, but he had been, he had been with this group of kids for a long time. That was a new kid at the school. And we were playing a summer league and the varsity coach was there, like, figuring out who was going to pick from this, whatever. And I just remember stealing the ball at the top of the key and we were down one. And it was maybe eight seconds on the clock. And I'm running, I'm going towards the, I'm going like, like, right down, it's just literally right down the middle. And the only thing that went through my mind was, you're about to blow this dude. I was like, you're a good finger roll, you go left hand, you can go right hand, you're legit in the middle. Like you, so I end up finger rolling it in, which was the dumb thing to do because that's easy, you could easily miss that. And at that time, I wasn't like jumping way up to finger roll it. I was like, this much from the hoop, so you got to flick it up there. And I just was like, I was like, all these people I watched, the coach was watching, and I made the shot. Luckily, I made the shot. We won, that was literally the game winning shot. I made the shot. But the fear that I had, even the fear of that shot after the game, I kept thinking about it. I could go, like literally sweats of like, fuck, I could have missed that. I should have missed that. Like I was probably going to miss that. I should have just laid off the fucking backboard. Like, why did I do that? And long story short, like he ended up making the basketball team and I didn't. - There's something about playing ball with other people where you don't want to embarrass yourself. One, you don't want to be embarrassed. But two, you're also letting people down. So how often do you do something where you're embarrassed, you trip, or you say something, and then four of your friends get mad at you for something that you did stupid? So when you, you know, you do something dumb like that, it's like, what the fuck, man? - Oh yeah. - It really is, it really is so much pressure, especially as like a teenager. When that kind of stuff, you know, you're trying to find your tribes. - Yeah. - I could very much empathize with that kind of stuff. - Yeah, dude. That was my, you know, it was one, shit like that. It was one of the things that made me realize like, like pressure, pressure is a real thing. Like it, it really gets to you. And I've overcome it throughout my life. But like, that's one of the reasons why you don't see me doing stand up so much. Like I don't do it at all really. Like that's what we're going for a little bit. - I was, and I felt great. Like I felt really good about it. Like I just did a breakfast club interview where I'm glad they edited the clip correctly where I was looking at all those comedy legends they have on their wall. And I was like, I feel that if I did, if I worked on my stand up for the next five years, I would be considered better than all of them. - They were joking. - I wasn't joking. - You believe that, five years? - I truly believe that. - Okay. I was like, Chappelle, yeah, Chris Rock. I was like, all those guys. Now there was some that are obviously like, are you really going to be a better stand up comic than Chappelle and Chris Rock? But I feel, I understand, you feel like watching them, I go, oh, I could come up with, I feel like I could. But that's what makes them so great. That, and that was the point of my story. I was like, you could say whatever you want. You could internally feel like you could do whatever. I was like, but they have something that I don't. And they're showing it to you right. They're showing it to you every day. And I want that. But until I do that, I got to just shut the fuck up. - And just keep trying it. - I'm going to. - I'm going to. I'm going to. I've already told my team and everybody like, hey, I think I'm taking a break. - Would you ever, would you ever, I know your dad is tough to do that kind of stuff. But if it ever made sense, would you ever come with me on the road for a weekend somewhere? - Yeah, are you kidding me? Like I would love to. And the thing is, it's, for me, it's more about taking the time to sit down and write. 'Cause I improvise a lot. And I get this, and I get this crowd work and stuff. - Yeah, right on. - Everyone has their own practice, their own process and you'll do what you want to do. But for somebody like, I'm telling a friend of mine who I see where you shine. I'm telling you like I see you right and keep writing. All stage and do that. If you have a couple of ideas, not written jokes, a couple of ideas, I'm telling you, go on stage with them. It does not crowd work, improvise them. And then you'll find something, improvise, you'll find something, do it on stage. Keep doing whatever you want off stage. Don't wait to get on stage until you have stuff. You shine when it's time to perform. And when you're writing, it's harder to write the performance. Writing the point of view. - Yeah. - Go on stage, go on stage, man. - No, I had this conversation recently with one of the goats, Damon Wain, senior, major pain, huh? Major pain, major pain. Dude, him and I were developing a show together, huh? - Blank man. - Blank man bro, he's like, he's literally one of the goats and he's fucking last boy scout. I mean, the guy is a legend. And he was telling me, he was like, what are you doing? He's like, you're not on stage, man. - What's the answer? - Because this got brought up when you're talking about pressure. - Are you nervous to do it? - Here's the way I look at my career. I knew how hard it was to break into the acting business. I knew the struggle that I went through. It was talking about like pressure and depression. And like my mental state was not, I was not a fun person to be around. Like I was so, I was at a low, low spot. Like I might say low, I mean like, when is this? 2009, when I moved to LA, when I moved to LA, I was in such a hole. I was like a, I always say dark, bro. I mean, I was in a really dark spot where I didn't wanna do it anywhere. I was like, I'm just gonna go back to Chicago. Couldn't afford to get home. Okay, it was like, my mom sent me money and was like, this is for diabetes money? No, he was like, that's not gonna make no, that's terrible. She sent me like her savings and wasn't a lot. And she was like, you better make this work. And I did. And it was one of those things where that, what I went through for those few years, like I don't, I don't wish that on anybody. And so I know the grind of a comic. And I know harder to, I respect it so much that I'm like, I know I'm gonna have to go through it. And I'm like, I'm doing great. I ain't trying to go do that bullshit again. But I'm like, God, I'm not gonna voluntarily go through. But if you really believe you could be that great. And I think you're unbelievably talented and so special. I do not believe that you could come close to those guys in five years, if ever. Five years, in five years, see now, this is where it gets interesting. Time stamp it. In five years, if I don't have the number one comedy special in the world for that year, for all time, that you can rank it however you want to rank it. Okay, for that year it's so fucking possible. For that year, if I don't have the number one comedy special in the world, I'll let you watch me get my dick sucked. - No, I'll give $50,000 to watch the Bawa's charity. - No, no, I'll, oh, sorry, I let you watch it. I don't like that shit, I don't like what people, I'll let you watch me get ahead from somebody. - I don't want, what are you talking about? - No, I fucking allow it. I'm not interested. - Rick, what I'm trying to tell you is that you get to be there. Now you're making, you're making it a situation as if you're offering me something. But what you really do is I think this is a kink of yours. - Rick, I don't want you to watch me. - So when people come up here in the street and say, "Hey, I saw you on Rick's podcast and you'll be like, "Yeah, you know you're watching me get my dick sucked." Yeah, it's a power play. No, it's not at all. This is a power play. How your chair is higher than mine? I know what you're doing. - So if I'm going to tell you a couple of dates that if you want to come on the road with me, I would love for you to come. - Five years, you know what? Five years, it's not even $50,000, $100,000. I'll give you five years to have a Bawa's charity. - Here's some places you could come with me and open the show and us have a great weekend and we can maybe film it, maybe McCone will come and we'll make a thing up it. Washington, D.C. in June. Montreal, for the Just for Last Comedy Festival in July. Columbus, Ohio in July. Edinburgh for the French festival in Scotland. - Scotland? - London for a week in August as well. Portland, Oregon, Eugene, Oregon, or Philadelphia, PA in September. Houston, Texas, Tacoma, Washington in October Salt Lake City in November. All of those, by the way, for people who are listening too. You can get tickets at ricklasmin.com, Edinburgh and Salt Lake City, I don't think are up yet, but if you go to ricklasmin.com, you could click on my dates to sign up for my email list. I'll notify you when they're up or, 'cause I'm constantly adding dates. I'll notify you when I'm coming to your city. I'm not gonna spam you. If I'm coming within 50 miles of your city, I'll send you an email. That's it. So sign up for my email list there. We'll just like, again, I think you should expand that mileage to what? - 300 miles. - No, 50. But you could always look. You could always go to ricklasmin.com/tour. - So what they want, they can be like, okay. - 'Cause I want to bother you if you're 100 miles away. Maybe you come to it, but I'm just gonna let you know I'm within 50 miles. Hey, man, I'm not as big as you in Chris Rock yet. So I don't need that kind of-- - On stage, you're bigger. - Taller, but also bigger. - I'm bigger than Chris Rock on stage. - No, not Chris Rock, me. - I said you ain't Chris Rock. - You mean like a combination. - Yeah, to me and act. - Oh, it just would smoke you. - That's what I'm saying. - Oh yeah, we fuckin' destroy you, dude. - Yeah, and I wouldn't even have to do anything. - Well, right, it just be Chris Rock. - Yeah, but every now and then you'd be like, you would do like, or whatever your face is for him. - I love, I love fuckin' with the audience. - How do you do with Chris Rock's smile? - Oh. (laughs) - All right, well, you could check out one of Lamoran's podcasts. Hey, I'm a new girl, which is on Hulu, and me and my buddy Kyle, which is on YouTube. - Yeah, the Lamoran after. - The Lamoran after, be respectful. I come here, I give you my time. I give you my time, be respectful of what I do. You told me that a guy called you Lamor for seven years. - Lamor, he called me Lamor. - Oh, you're gonna correct me on a wrong name. - 'Cause he would give me blood oranges. his wife would grow up. They had a tree he would bring him to me. It's such a dramatic term for an orange isn't it? blood oranges. I know. So like diamonds. It's not like somebody fucking died to grow these blood oranges. It's like, I mean, they're delicious, but you see harvested those. Yeah. Yeah. The Lamorning after podcast with Kyle Chevron and then the mess around pod with me and Hannah Simone. That's all you have to do, man. That's all I asked you to do before here. We talked about it. They music. That's what I want to talk about on your podcast. I forgot. Put it in this. I don't know where we'll put it. Lisa Gilroy is one of the, like I've seen, I did a, I found out about her because I did a UCB show with her. We didn't prop show together and I was like, oh, shit, like she is dialed in. And then I've seen her on your podcast department. And I see her on TV and commercials and movies and stuff like that. And I was like, oh my god, like she's just like crushing it. We go do this panel. The FYC event. And it's like the comedy panel. And she was a replacement. Somebody else was supposed to be there. And she filled in. And right beforehand, she was like, she was a little nervous. And I was like, you shouldn't be. I was like, I went through this before. John Hamm was supposed to do an FYC for Fargo. He couldn't make it so they asked me to do it. I was a replacement. So all I did was bits. I said, yes, they want to know, they want to know about your process. And what was it like working with such and such and all this stuff and the casting and audition process. But I was like, at the end of the day, like they're sitting in a room forever in a chair. Just go and just do bits, just entertain, whatever it is. And she was like, really? I was like, trust me. I was like, I did that. And I wanted to be. I was like, they kept, they invited me to all the FYC events after that. And I was like, you just go have fun. These people are there sitting right and around and just go and like, chit chat, do bits, have fun. When I tell you, it was like watching, it was like watching a comedy special. When they, I forget what question they asked her one question. And when I say she gunned it in such a way that it was like, oh, you're on your way. Oh, yeah. I think she's one of the, I say, I said it. I'm probably one of your five podcasts. I think she's one of the funniest people in the world. I was like, oh, and it was so effortless. It wasn't like, it wasn't like, she was, it clearly wasn't planned. It was, they had asked her a question and her immediate response was something that just like, and then she just kept going and kept going. And it was like, it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. And afterwards, I was like, see? I was like, you're gonna probably get asked to do all these panels. And I don't know, I just wanted to give her her flowers. She was put in the tag of the episode. She's very good. Oh, hey, you want that back for the music. Fix it.