Kylie SOLO on Why She Doesn't Wear Bikinis Anymore, Ellie Covered In Butt Paste & Beating Jason at Golf | Ep. 69
1h 1m 14s
The podcast episode blends personal storytelling, parenting challenges, and Gen Alpha slang to create a candid, humorous, and relatable look at modern family life. Kylie Kelsey shares her journey through postpartum body changes, expressing discomfort with her belly button and the emotional difficulty of adapting to new clothing standards, while emphasizing the need for self-compassion. The episode explores chaotic parenting moments—like children getting covered in Vaseline or Desitin, or engaging in biting behavior—highlighting the absurdity and unpredictability of raising young kids. It also dives into Gen Alpha slang, defining terms like "mogging" (outperforming someone) and "chungus" (a blend of "chunk" and "humongous"), while critiquing social media’s influence on body image and the unrealistic ideal of extreme thinness. A recurring theme is the importance of boundaries and self-respect, from refusing unwanted attention at public events to setting limits on children’s exposure to fame. The hosts also promote mindfulness, humor, and community through shared experiences, concluding with a celebration of individuality and a call to normalize imperfection. The episode is both entertaining and insightful, offering a raw yet hopeful perspective on parenting during the summer.
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Who was it that was covered in butt paste? Who was it?
I don't want to watch Love Island.
My belly button.
Have you ever seen the lip of a rhinoceros?
I have so many pictures of s*** in my phone it's not even funny.
Turds.
My favorite habit of Jason's is that when he walks past me, typically he does feel a need to touch my butt.
Not gonna lie, this is our 69th episode.
And I'm not mature enough to let that go by without acknowledging it.
Let's get this podcast started.
Welcome real ones to a very summary, very unhinged, and most importantly, very solo episode of Not Gonna Lie.
A wave original brought to you by Pull Ups.
I'm your host, Kylie Kelsey.
My favorite summer job growing up was. I love when I do this and I don't think of one ahead of time, but I just raw dog it.
I was a lifeguard, a lifeguard.
I was more of like a pool attendant.
But occasionally when there was not a lifeguard on duty, I would have to also double as a lifeguard.
And so I did.
I think one training on how to tow someone who was unconscious out of the water.
But I don't. And I was CPR certified.
But besides that, good luck.
I've never seen an episode of Love Island, but Queen Emma is determined to change that and she's not going to.
Who has enough time for that?
Love Island USA premieres tonight.
Queen Emma wants to know if we should order some Bundt cakes and a tomato pie.
No, we shouldn't.
No, because I'm busy doing a lot of other things.
I'm not.
Six days a week.
That's dumb.
I don't mean that in a disrespectful way.
I just mean like that's crazy.
And apparently Jeopardy is finally running out of ideas because I was the answer to yet another question.
This time it was pop culture Jeopardy.
She married into America's favorite football family and shares about. Hold up.
A big bearded hubby?
I'm not going to lie.
Ben, who is Taylor Swift?
No.
Helena.
Who is Kylie Kelsey?
That's right.
Helena.
I was going to say thank you, but also. Helena, shout out to you for knowing my name.
But also. Guys, we got to cut this out.
I do think it's funny that they described. Jason as the bearded hub. Big bearded hubby.
He is a large man.
He is bearded.
And he is my hubby.
So honestly, yes.
And to be clear, I do. Shout out to Helena.
I appreciate it.
But also, I do prefer when the answer is unknown.
I liked it better.
It felt comfier for some reason.
Well, now that my second Jeopardy cameo in as many weeks has been addressed,
let's get into today's summertime solo spectacular.
Really, that's what we're calling it?
I thought you were going to hit the butt.
As is tradition on solo episodes,
I'm going to answer as many of the real ones
ask me some things questions as I can.
And as always, there were some absolutely insane ones in the mix.
Honestly.
Should I just answer them?
I don't know. Let's see.
We also have a stacked doom scroll,
including a clip of a little kid who got Vaseline all over her hair.
And. And the return of our tiny O-lineman,
the ribbit,
ribbit,
toddler.
Yeah.
I'm so excited.
And in preparation for everyone's teenagers being home for the summer,
we're all going to get a Gen Alpha slang crash course because. What is mogging?
What is that?
I don't know, but we're going to find out.
But before we get into any of that, let's start off with. You know what's fucked up?
Hey, you know what's fucked up?
The feeling of. The feeling of putting on a bathing suit postpartum.
Guys, do you remember?
Maybe this isn't like a universal experience, so bear with me here.
Do you remember when you were, I don't know, let's say 17, 18, 21,
and you put on a little bikini and you were, you know,
doing your thing on the beach, playing games, bopping around,
doing all this stuff.
You could put on any bikini and you'd be like, yeah, that's it.
Or, ooh, that's a cute pattern.
I want that bathing suit.
Ooh, I like that bikini.
Ooh, I like that bathing suit.
That was a fun time.
I don't do that anymore.
Let me tell you why.
Because I need tummy control.
You know what I mean.
I need something that covers my belly button.
Because. Here's a true confession.
So you want to. I had my belly button pierced.
And it stretched out with the rest of my belly while I was making human beings.
And then it never went back.
And it is truly something that bothers me so much.
So much.
I don't like seeing my belly button.
I don't like seeing my belly button in bathing.
I don't like seeing my belly button in bathing suits.
I very much feel strongly that I might like a high-waisted bikini bottom that only gives me a little gap of belly, stomach, whatever you want to call it, before the bathing suit top.
But since I'm so tall, it's hard to find a bathing suit bottom that goes up to the top of my belly button.
And let me tell you, my belly button. No.
I have a photo of a rhinoceros in right here.
That's what the top of my belly button looks like.
So would you want that to be out and about?
I have made it a point to say to myself that my body has made for human beings.
And you have to give yourself grace.
You must.
That being said, it's okay to mature in your bathing suit choices if that's what makes you feel comfortable.
Now, this summer, I ordered a little skirt bottom because I thought I'd test that out.
Because I've seen other women on the beach in the little skirt bottoms, and I thought, you know what?
They're killing it.
That looks really cute.
I. It sucks.
We talked about this so many times, and I'll say it until the end of time.
It sucks dressing yourself after you give birth.
It doesn't matter how much grace you've given.
It doesn't matter how much you've given yourself.
It doesn't matter how much you love what your body has done.
It is hard to look at your body that does not look like your body that you have lived with your whole life.
It is changed in a way that is permanent.
And now you have to figure out how to dress it, not only in regular clothing, but also in bathing suits.
That sucks.
That sucks.
And we should call it out and say,
Say that it sucks out loud so that we can all just be like, hey, this sucks.
But here's what I will tell you.
When you are going on vacation, out to a beach, to the pool,
the person who is the most concerned about what you look like in your bathing suit is you.
Other people are not going to be highly bothered by your bathing suit or how you look in it.
They're also not going to be nearly as critical.
We need to be more gentle on ourselves and not let bathing suits be the thing that hold us back from enjoying summer activities.
Okay.
Promise.
Okay.
Queen Emma is asking, I have been freshly postpartum both in the fall and in the spring.
Which do I prefer?
For baby purposes, I prefer to be freshly postpartum in the spring.
Because you get to be outside, you get to get fresher, you get to do outdoor naps, you get to do walks outside.
For dressing purposes and self-confidence.
For freaking fall.
Put me in a big ass sweater.
One that goes down below my butt.
I mean tunics for days.
Okay.
Because then you can't see the outline of my diaper.
That does it for you know what's fucked up.
Next, the latest place is Kylie had some business.
being brought to you by pull-ups yesterday. I had some business participating in our family's
underdog charity golf outing. Yeah. As everyone who saw the newest FAFO knows I've been prepping
to kick my husband's ass at this event. Did I, um, I don't know. Here's the deal.
For those of you who don't know golf, I will tell you, uh, our golf outing was what's called
a scramble for anyone who is thinking about getting into golf or learning golf. A scramble
is a great way to do it. It is essentially that you work your way through each hole with the best
ball. And it's great because you all get to continue to practice and take hits, but you are
getting through it pretty quickly and scoring the best because if you hit it into the woods,
you don't necessarily
have to get it out of the woods. I have no idea what I scored because we were in a scramble. And
I have no idea what he scored because we were in a scramble. What I do know is, is that we had a
dream team. My team placed second in the whole thing. Where did Jason's team place? I have no
idea because he wasn't in the top three. So his team wasn't announced. Yeah. How about that?
Did I happy Gilmore swing? Yes, I did. I
have found.
I have found that if I try to correct my field hockey swing into golf, it's not as smooth. So I
have defaulted into Jesus taking the wheel on a field hockey swing with a golf club. And I'm okay
with that. We had so many people come out to the event. We're so grateful to the brands who partnered
with us to sponsor the event. We're so grateful to the celebs that we had out. We had a number of
Flyers players, a number of Phillies players. We had former Eagles players. We were able to raise
money for B Philly, which is our family foundation that puts money back into programs impacting the
youth of Philadelphia and making sure that they have not only resources, but, you know, it's just,
you know, we don't have a lot of resources, but, uh, support from their community. So, uh, we are
very, very excited. Speaking of supporting a great cause, we had a few adoptable animals on the last
NGL and FAFO episodes, and we've heard that star and river have been adopted. Yes. Woo. That's two
out of four people, two out of four, which means we're halfway there. Someone needs, needs to go
get F E and bright eyes. Should we do an animal segment once a month? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Maybe we could do more exotic animals next time. I did see that the PSPCA just rescued some
chickens. Maybe we could get a Guinea pig or a rabbit or maybe a turtle.
Simon wants one. I just know in my heart, that's it for places. Kylie has some business being
brought to you by pull-ups next. I'm going to get right into it and answer.
A ton of real one questions in a summer themed. Ask me some things because ask me anything was
far too open-ended for some of you crazy mother. Hmm. First up from mags for nine 91. Are the girls
going to any camps this summer? Yes, they are. They will be doing some multi-sport camps. Uh,
Benny will be playing some soccer. Well, I shouldn't say that Benny's signed up for a soccer
camp and she will attend the soccer camp.
Will she play soccer? We'll find out together. All of the camps that they're doing are sort of
like a nine to 12 situation for maybe four days. So I like to sprinkle them in there because then
there's something to look forward to. And then if they don't like it, which we have not yet
experienced them not enjoying camp, they've loved it every time. But if there was a situation where
they didn't enjoy it, then it would only be a couple more days because we're firmly in the camp
of making sure that they finish what they start. I grew up going to sports camps. I feel like it's
a great opportunity to fill up some of your summertime and give a little more structure,
but also, uh, I'm not the type of person who did sleep away camp. I'm not sending my kids
to eight weeks of summer camp because I'm still really sad that they have to go to school every
day. So I at least get them for the summer. How about that?
That is actually a very important update. Are you two out of four in getting to kindergarten
without expulsions? Thank you so much for saying that. I'm two for two. Way to go, Ellie. Ellie
made it out of preschool without getting kicked out like her father and her uncle. Um, I really
do think the true test is going to be two years from now when Benny gets to, uh, hit that threshold.
She makes it there. And that's the key. Wyatt loved kindergarten. I think Ellie is also going
to love kindergarten, but I do think that it is going to be a little eyeopening for her because
she is not quite into academics in the same way that Wyatt is. Wyatt is into academics because
Wyatt has this need to know and this thirst for knowledge that is, um, it's incredible to watch.
Ellie is curious,
but she doesn't quite feel the need to press as hard as Wyatt does to get information.
And that does translate into academics. Ellie wants to go and be social. And I am going to
be shocked if she can sit in her chair for that long. Next from Lynn Cat Webb,
best part of summer with kids and worst part of summer with kids go. This is such a good one.
Best part of summer with kids, having them home. I love having my kids home.
I love, no. Ooh, I know. Oh, not having to make lunches. Good God. Oh my God. Having to make
lunch. It takes some serious brain power. I also like on days where we don't have anything to do,
not forcing everyone to immediately get up and get out of their pajamas and get dressed and like
really go full fledged into the day. Um, I would say those are the best things.
The worst things about summer.
Oh, when it's too hot, you can't go outside. I am an outside kid. You guys, the real ones who
have been listening since the beginning. No, I'm a bug kid. I like to go outside. I like to flip
rocks. I like to dig in the garden and find some earthworms. I like to pick up the roly polies and
let them crawl all over your hands. I like to go out at, at dusk. I like to go out and go to the
dusk and catch the lightning bugs and let them crawl to the top of your finger. Cause you know,
they always go to the highest point. If you're a real bug kid, you know that anyway. Uh, I love
going outside. So when it gets too hot, that sucks. I want to go outside. I want to play, even if it's just in the morning or just in the afternoon. But sometimes in the
Philadelphia area, we hit a hot spell of like 95 degree days and you open the door in the morning
at, at dusk. I love going outside. I want to
I'm not exaggerating 7am. It's a hundred percent humidity and 85 degrees already. And you're like,
you can suck my ass. I'm not going outside. Absolutely not because it sucks for you. But
then on top of that, you're going to have at least two of your four children complaining at you that
it's too hot and it's sticky, soupy, soupy. The air gets soupy around here. If you've never
experienced that, I'm happy for you, but it gets soupy and it's gross. I don't like it.
That's what I don't like about summer.
I feel like I nailed that question. I don't say that often. So yeah, good job. Okay. Number four
from real, real one, Cora Bell Hope. Are you more of a stay in the sand girl or a let's get in the
water girl at the beach? See this, you got me here. You got me. I, um, I'm a can't sit still.
Remember back when I said Ellie is like her mother and she's a little,
and center pants. That's me on the beach. Uh, I like to dig in the sand and play with the toys.
And then I like to go down to the water and jump the waves. Now, when it comes to my kids,
they also don't like to sit still. They know that they have to go with an adult. So
usually it's a full squad activity. If everyone's going to the water, everyone's going to the water.
And if everyone's back playing in the sand, everybody's back playing in the sand. Um,
what I will say about the kids is that I don't know that there are enough snacks in the world
to cover us for five hours on the beach. So you can catch us at any given point. Someone
is eating a snack. Are their hands covered in sand? Yes. Is their snack unusually crunchy from
sand? Also? Yes. Are they going to be pissed about it for the first week that we're at the shore?
Yes. After that sand is part of their diet.
So I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think
disgusting to watch. And I tried to stop it. And then I gave up. Uh, Jason doesn't love the ocean.
He's talked about it multiple times. He's not a shark guy, so he does not like the ocean. Um,
but he, he still will do it. He'll bite the bullet and he'll go in. But I think he likes
to make sure that there's at least a couple people further out than him. And that's, I respect that.
Next up from Kaylee in the stars. What is your favorite and least favorite habit of Jason's?
Hmm. Um, I would say my favorite habit of Jason's is that when he walks past me,
typically he does feel a need to touch my butt. I like it. It's part of my love language,
physical touch. I like it. Um, my least favorite habit of Jason's.
My, it's always my, I always have the same complaint about my husband. When I was on the
other podcast, I said the same thing. He's loud. He's a loud human being. He wears flip-flops. I
mean, you've seen him. He wears flip-flops everywhere and he smacks them when he walks
up the steps. He's just a loud individual. And the funny thing is, is that some days when the
baby's sleeping or he gets up early, I'll be like, can you just be quiet? And he's like, yeah,
boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I'm like the fuck. There's no way.
Okay.
As athletic as you are that you don't know how to bend your knees and soften your steps or
you sound like a herd of elephants. And not only that, it's not only his steps.
And now I'm really going off. It's just the reason I don't say like, oh, he walks so loudly.
He's just a loud person. There are mornings where he will be laying in bed and I will already be
downstairs and I'll hear. And I can hear him.
I can hear it from the kitchen guys. Our house isn't that big, but like, if I can hear it,
like he's standing next to me, that's loud. That's loud. Um, he sneezes loudly,
but only when you need them to be quiet. He's a loud person and I love him for it. It's
entertaining. I can't pinpoint that many things that my husband does that, um, is like a least
favorite habit of mine, but being loud, he's a loud guy, but he can make up for it by touching
my butt. All right. Last one.
Of the real one questions for ask me some things. Part one, Sarah Martin wants to know any of your
kids biters or hitters child. Number three is built different and always humbling. Um, we went
through some biting phases, both biting me and their sisters. Um, the one thing that I did to
them that was exciting was screaming, crying. How many times? I feel like I talked about this
recently. Did I not? Or did I talk about it with you? Well, we did it on the podcast when I told
you that Simon hit me with his toy still happening by the way. Yeah. Yeah. So the screaming crime is
not working. No, maybe you're just not that good of an actor. Um, we were always a, if something
happened, we sold that it was the saddest thing to ever happen. And it really hurt. Sometimes it's
really helpful to figure out what the purpose of the biting is. I have found that a lot of times
it is based in frustration that stems from them not being able to get their point across. So, um,
a lot of times it, it required more conversation, which sometimes when you start explaining things
down with kids, it feels like it's silly. You start talking to a kid who can't even communicate
enough to get their point across to the point that they're getting so pissed. They're biting
people. And you're then bent down. Like if you feel like you're going to bite your sister,
can you walk away please? Or can we pick something else to do? Or can you say I'm mad?
Or can you, uh, ask for something nicely? And it's like,
well, it's, it's difficult and it requires, I think a lot of persistence. Honestly,
sometimes it's a matter of catching them before they get there. Ellie went through a hitting
phase, which she still sometimes does where she just gets so mad with Wyatt
because Wyatt will do things to sort of stir the pot and Ellie will do this really deep, like
and then she like cocks back and like goes over and tries to like punch her.
Sometimes it's just a matter of catching them before they're able to do it. Like sometimes
Ellie will get really frustrated with a no from me. And then she'll sort of like put her hand back
and I'm like, make a good choice. And if you just interrupt them before they do it, they can have a
moment to check themselves. And then she'll like put her hands down by her side and like, really
like, ah, and I'm like, that's acceptable. And also timeout.
Immediately timeout. And don't just put them in timeout. You got to put them in timeout and then
explain to them why they're in timeout, which again, gets us right back to the talking it out,
which is time consuming. So good luck with the biting. That was asked me some things. Part one,
I'll be right back after I rave about pull-ups and some of my other favorite things as a mom of
four kids, six and under I've been deep in the potty training trenches. It was really daunting.
To try and start. But when I knew we were ready, we were ready. And how did I find that out?
Because Wyatt told me, of course, was there once an accident on the kitchen floor?
And I'm not talking about a number one. Yes. But we cleaned that up and we moved on. And with each
one, it kind of got easier because they saw their sisters doing it. And then there was motivation.
My secret weapon is pull-ups training pants. We've been using them the entire time we've
been potty training because I'm not down for the naked weekend or locking yourself in the house.
I don't think we're candidates for that. The best part, my secret weapon has its own secret weapon.
Pull-ups just introduced the new learning layer. And I'm all about this. It's designed to help
kids learn the difference between feeling wet and dry. That means that when they have an accident,
they feel that it's uncomfortable. And obviously they don't want to feel that way. It's going to
be so helpful with Finn. I just know it. The new learning layer helps create progress without the
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Northbrook, Illinois. As a busy mom taking care of everybody else's schedule, it's important to carve
in a little bit of what I like to call, nobody needs me time. One way I use that very small
window of time these days is by doing a workout right in the Peloton app. I really have been
enjoying a little walk-run action because you can do it either on the tread or outside. It's
lovely. Peloton helps you unlock that joy through movement with their new cross-training tread plus
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Peloton IQ sees every rep, reads every movement, and coaches you through it in real
time. I love every instructor that I've taken on Peloton. Who did I take this morning? Let me tell
you the class I took this morning for funsies. Isn't this fun? I can just go in my Peloton app
and say, who did I take today? I took John Hosking, 45-minute walk-run. He was lovely
because he did the same thing Alex Toussaint has a habit of doing for me on the bike. When I wanted
to put the dial back a little bit, he said, nope, keep going. And I said, can he hear my inner thoughts?
Let yourself run, lift, sculpt, push, and go. Explore the new Peloton cross-training
tread plus at onepeloton.com. And I'm back. And so is a brand new edition of Dune Scroll of the
Week. First up, TikToker at Beyond Chandra just introduced me to the only type of high protein
diet I can get behind. Queen Emma? Are lightly seasoned because they are super light. Fully
cheesesteak and this is basically a salad. Because this is protein, we're going to hold it over my
head so that it'll be high protein. Success.
Okay, that's high protein. We're also going to just watch the carbs on this one. All right. And
then let's see how light this mayo is. And it is cut in half. So I did cut the calories. And we're
still going to use this as heavy lifting. And so it's going to be high intensity workout. The more
you chew, the less you eat. I'm going to eat from both ends. And this is going to be a balanced
diet. Balance diet. I could barely finish. So I have a lot left for tomorrow. Calorie deficit.
I can't. Okay, let me tell you about Chandra.
I don't even know where to start. I've seen so many of her videos at this point.
I love them so much. We have gotten into this culture online of, I don't even know how to
describe it. We've gotten into this culture online of idolizing these people who have their entire
in how they can cut corners
on calories for exercise. And as much as I really value people prioritizing their health and
well-being, I think there is a problem with social media is that it gives everybody the
opportunity. It's the catch-22 of social media. Social media allows people to connect and have
a voice and share their thoughts and feelings. And that's great. And then the other side of that
is that people have the opportunity to share their thoughts and feelings and their opinions
on things. And essentially, it can either be a positive or a negative. And she is making light of
what is currently this fad of being able to cut calories and being in a calorie deficit and having
balanced meals.
And so making light of that in the way that she is, is so fucking funny for our audio listeners.
She held up a cheesesteak that was a cheesesteak hoagie, which means it has
lettuce, tomatoes on it. And so she said, it's basically a salad, which is correct. I think
sometimes it's fun to poke fun at the fact that we don't all have to live our lives the exact same
way. And with all of the high-protein snacks, the high-protein chips, the high-protein this,
and that, the high-protein drinks, I think it's okay. Also, the idea of cutting the calories,
aka cutting your sandwich in half, perfect. Perfect, perfect, perfect. No notes.
I am fearful of the fact that we are, it seems to be that we are in a phase of idolizing super
skinny right now. And we were in that phase in what, the late 90s, I would say,
where it was models that you saw walking in runway shows and ads in magazines and things like that
were so thin that you could see their hip bones protruding and that you could just see
everything was so chiseled that people looked almost emaciated. And we're kind of leaning
back into that right now as if that is the ideal beauty standard. And I just want people to
remember that you, we aren't all meant to look alike. We aren't, we aren't all meant to be the
same size. We are not all meant to be rail thin. We are not all meant to be the, what is whatever
the, whatever the ideal beauty size is at that point at any given time, because
people seem to think that that, that they should conform themselves to that.
Um, we're not meant to be the same size. Guys, my mother is five foot two. We are not meant to
be the same size. I am five 11. Do you know what I'm saying? Next up my favorite mini offensive
lineman who did the rebet rebet video is back in my doom scroll. And guys, this time he's got
some dance moves. Everyone needs to say queen Emma, the clip, please. What are you listening to?
Oh, first of all, he's having a silent disco.
And he is just flailing jumping. Oh my God. It's the whole jumps and his face. I don't, I'm not
certain. Oh no. My headphones. Here's, here's my takeaway from this video. I'm not certain he's
having fun. And I say that because his face is dead ass.
He's dead ass serious. His face means business. He is flailing. He is, he is dancing. He's working
hard, straight ass face. He means business. First of all, as always shouted to his mom
at Elizabeth VZ, um, the hot dog song. I'm assuming that it was the hot dog song. I saw
Mickey mouse clubhouse on the screen of his mom's phone. I'm assuming it was the hot dog song.
Cause the hot dog dance goes so hard. Ellie and Wyatt really enjoy dancing. Benny,
enjoys dancing, but on her terms. So really Benny of her Finn is finally dancing to some music.
Um, we found out a little bit late that when she was shaking her head, what looked like she was
telling us, no, she was actually dancing intermittently. You know what? Keeping us on
our toes. All right. Let's keep it scrolling here because
I think this woman just figured out the perfect solution to one of pregnant women's biggest
problems. Queen Emma, the only way I will be going out in public for the rest of this pregnancy,
she is putting post-it notes on her belly that say, no, it's not twins. Yes. I'm sure 38 and a
half weeks pregnant. No name yet. A girl. I know I'm about to pop. Yes. I am exhausted. This is
a rule of thumb that I think most people follow, which is you do not address the pregnant woman
being pregnant unless the pregnant woman acknowledges the pregnant woman is pregnant.
That means if a bump is a bump, but you think to yourself, that's, that could be,
that could be period bloat. That could be a donut or 12 for breakfast. That could have been
a burrito at lunch. It could be her organs. Guys, we're not addressing a belly until someone else addresses
a belly. You know what I'm saying? The other side of that is, is when someone is 38 and a half
weeks pregnant and they're wearing things that are making it even more obvious that they are
that pregnant. People love to have an opinion. They love to comment on it. They want to be able
to be like, that's a big belly.
You're, you really are about to pop.
When's your due date? Was it last week? Other post-it notes I would add. No, I don't need help.
Ooh, no, I don't need help. No, I don't need help because 38 and a half weeks pregnant. I was moving
furniture in my house, not because the furniture needed to be moved, but because I thought that's
what would knock me into labor. So no, I don't need your help carrying my groceries. No, I don't need
your help with the door. No, I don't need your help with my children. I'm good. I might, I would
think to get a shirt with that on it. That would be a good one. Um, uh, no, you can't touch my belly
or like, please don't touch me.
Or, um, maybe if you touch my belly, I'll touch yours. You know, just one of those.
Should we make a knock a lie shirt? Should we make an NGL shirt that says,
if you touch my belly, I'll touch yours. It's our new maternity line.
And last scroll, this tiny human managed to cover her hair and potentially her entire body in globs
of Vaseline. And I'll let the clip take it from here. Oh my God. The caption on this says, do I
like a duck? Yes. If you don't know the reference of this, you're too young.
Yes. You wash her like she was in an oil spill. You got to immediately put them in the tub. This
is a tub containment situation. Uh, you certainly don't want them to touch anything else. And I will
tell you, we have once gotten ourselves into this situation and it wasn't Vaseline. It was worse.
It was Desitin. Anyone who doesn't know is butt paste, AKA diaper rash cream. And if you have never
used Desitin, then I'm happy for you. If you have used Desitin, you know that anything it touches,
it lives on forever. And I mean that in like, even if you've wiped it away,
it will smell like Desitin, which isn't a pleasant
smell. Sorry, Desitin. We, who was it that was covered in butt paste? Who was it? Who was it?
You know what? I count my lucky stars because it was butt paste and it wasn't shit.
Literally that's, that's the whole sentence. Um, hold on. Let me see if I can find this.
Was it Ellie? Her room smelled like it for weeks.
I don't even remember if she did it to herself or if Wyatt helped her.
I have so many pictures of shit in my phone. It's not even funny.
It's actually alarming.
Actual shit?
Turds.
One time when Wyatt was learning how to potty train, she took a shit on the kitchen floor.
That was a day.
i think it was ellie oh my god i have so many shits in my phone and specifically
that I've sent my husband.
Talk about biting.
That's Wyatt's two teeths
in Ellie's foot.
Oh my God.
That's insane.
Can you tell I really sent him the highlights?
Elliot Ray Kelsey.
On the bed,
on her eyes.
I totally feel for this mom
because we've been in this situation.
It's a pain in the ass to get out.
It's a pain in the ass to figure out
where the heck else it is.
That's the most difficult part
because I swear
there was butt paste somewhere in that room
that I couldn't find.
I don't know if it was up under the windowsill.
It was somewhere that was making it smell
like stale butt cream.
That's it for Doom Squirrel of the Week.
Moving on, it's Ask Me Some Things Part 2.
Since we got so many questions
from the real ones,
we're going to do an Ask Me Some Things Part 2
brought to you by DoorDash.
And this time,
Queen Emma has opened it up
to literally every topic.
So let's see what crazy shit
we're about to get into.
Rapid fire, for real.
Because, you know,
less than an hour episode.
Nope.
Emma said nope.
First question.
How would you feel
if one of the girls decided to audition
for the Dallas Cowboys Cheer Squad?
I'm going to ignore that question.
Next up,
we have an advice question
here from Real One Julia.
Number two,
how much hinting for a proposal
is too much hinting?
You guys aren't going to like
my opinion on this one.
Any hinting is too much hinting.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Here's the deal.
Talking about it with them
is one thing.
Talking about it with your significant other
is one thing.
If you're talking about it,
it's a conversation.
It's a two-way street.
It means you're both engaged.
You both know what you're talking about.
You're both on the same page
in that conversation.
You might not be on
the actual same page,
but you're having a conversation
about it,
so you're both aware
of what's happening.
If you have to throw hints,
if it's a hint situation,
if you have to. No.
Mm-mm.
No.
He should want to.
Your significant other
should want to
take that next step.
I think any. I think we shouldn't have to. make hints.
Now,
if you're doing it jokingly
or if you're doing it
in a lighthearted way
or it's not truly
with the intention of
this will get him to ask,
that can be funny.
If you want to make hints,
that's your decision.
It's your relationship.
If you have to make an ultimatum,
do me a solid
and get the fuck out.
Okay?
There should not be
ultimatum situations.
If you don't ask me to marry you
within X amount of time,
we're done.
No.
Immediately, no.
I'm going to need you
to take the first exit ramp
off of that highway
because no.
You and your partner
should want the same thing,
a.k.a.
to get married
and spend your lives together.
And if that's not the case,
then maybe that's not your person.
Number five,
do the girls enjoy the fame?
First of all, yuck.
Oh, God.
That's terrible.
The girls think that it's funny.
They think it's funny
that when we go out in public,
people say,
are you Jason Kelsey?
And then we go back to the house
and they say,
are you Jason Kelsey?
Sometimes we catch them playing
a game amongst themselves
where they are not involving adults,
where they will start to go,
oh my gosh,
I'm such a huge fan.
Can we take a picture?
Yuck.
I don't like that our kids
have picked up on this.
Obviously, they're going to pick up on it
when they leave the house with their dad.
I. It makes me sad
that this is true.
This took a very serious turn.
It makes me sad
that this is the reality
I want them to have as normal
of an upbringing as possible.
But we just make it a point
to try and create a degree of separation.
As best we can.
They think it's hilarious.
They think that it's funny.
Until someone. Every so often,
Wyatt will not like
that someone is either talking about
approaching us
or staring at us.
She recently stared at
a group of young women
who were speaking loudly
across the street
from us
and she was like,
she stared at them
with a really nasty look on her face
and said,
they are not taking a picture with my dad.
And so,
I think most of the time
they think it's funny and entertaining
and sometimes they do not.
And I think
that we should
collectively leave them out of it.
Okay?
Great. Let's do that.
Do the girls have nicknames for each other?
Cute or nice ones?
Only.
Ha ha.
Oh.
They don't have mean nicknames for each other.
That would be horrible.
I would nip that in the bud.
I did find a video of Wyatt recently
where she refers to Ellie
as Sissy,
which was one of the sweetest nicknames ever.
What does. The girls call Finn Finney.
I think everyone sort of calls her that.
It has now morphed into Penny,
so she gets called
Pinney pretty regularly.
Ellie doesn't really get called anything.
Benny gets called Boo Boo
not always by her sisters,
but by people around us,
family members,
my dad.
I grew up in a big nickname house.
My nickname growing up was Inky.
My dad still calls me it.
I call my dad Fru for Fruital.
Don't ask.
My sister's nickname was Laundry.
Everybody,
literally everybody had a nickname.
I don't know.
Except my mom.
Go ahead, Lise.
And we call all of our kids' nicknames.
It's just not that their sisters have not adopted them.
Like I call Finn Pinney Poo Poo.
Benny gets Benny Boodle
or Benny Boo Boo Bear
or Benny Boo.
Benny Boo is the most frequent.
Ellie used to be Ellie Bug.
So then she got called Buggy for a while.
I call them all Lovey.
It's great because it's a sweet nickname,
but then all of a sudden,
and also I can't mess up their names
if I call them all Lovey.
And that's a wrap on Ask Me Some Things
brought to you by DoorDash.
Coming up, we apparently have
a fresh batch of Gen Alpha slang
that I'll be very confused by
right after these messages from me.
Being a person is tough enough these days,
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And did we have swim vests last summer?
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Yes, we did.
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This summer, the CVS Health app
helps me handle healthcare needs.
It makes the whole healthcare experience
simpler and more convenient,
especially for busy parents and caregivers.
The CVS Health app helps me
get in and out of my home,
and out of the pharmacy fast.
You can pop in,
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and the pharmacist knows
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I can also stock up
on essential warm weather items
like bug spray,
sunscreen, and more.
You know, you can never have enough sunscreen
when it comes to children.
And when you have the range
that I have of ages,
you need different ones.
Like Wyatt prefers a spray,
but obviously Finn needs a lotion.
And the zinc-based ones.
The baby ones.
It's a whole thing,
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let's be honest you don't go to the holiday gift exchange just to participate you go to win this
year cause a stir gift a kitchenaid stand mixer to whip up new traditions tis your season to mix
it up i'm back and so are some of your teenagers who are home for summer break and saying all sorts
of crazy shit you've never heard before in your life good news is we're going to go through some
of the newest gen alpha slang phrases right here so maybe i can also understand anything my nieces
say this summer because at least one of them is brain rot and you know who you are is that one of
the terms of the day
bring out one of the terms shit i was gonna have that one all right queen emma has a list of the
slang terms here i'm gonna go through and guess what each of them means before she gives me the
real definition so the first one which is quite possibly the hardest one i'm yep i the hardest
one by far okay here we go number one mogging m-o-g-g-i-n-g
i don't even know where to
mogging
i've heard it one time and the only reason i know that is because it hit my ears and i was like
that's not a thing mogging mogging is mogging is jogging your mind it's mind jogging it's brains
it's the new brainstorming you tell me it's mogging it's mind jogging it's the new brainstorming you
tell me it's mogging it's mind jogging it's brainstorming it's mogging is internet slang
for outperforming dominating or looking much better than someone else what i don't like when
these things happen the phrase that is uh the example is bro he totally outmogged me no immediately
no that's a silly statement i don't like it number two body count if this is not the body count that
we used to refer to as the body count it's the body count that we used to refer to as the body count
then this is about to be embarrassing but body count for us millennials was how many people
you hooked up with is that what this is nice okay it came back around okay this refers to
the number of sexual partners a person has had um yeah you guys are reusing our terms you're welcome
number three chungus this is something good it sounds like it would be bad because it's
sounds like fungus but it's chungus is good it means something good yes
a term is the blend of the word chunk and humongous it originated from a popular 2018
meme featuring a bloated overweight version of bugs bunny oh no i was so confident i was so
confident did you see that i was so confident i'm pretty sure that this is i'm pretty sure that
you're wrong number four s-y-b-a-u shut your bitch ass up do it show me it
yeah here's the deal i don't say shut up i think it's really mean so i would not use
saibao and that is how it's pronounced so you're welcome for that number five t-s-p-m-o oh no this
shit's pissing me off am i right hell yeah
this shit piss me off i don't know how to say that though t-s-p-m-o they they pronounce it
i'm telling you i was told s-y-b-a-u was saibao they actually say saibao instead of shut your
bitch ass up shut your bitch ass up it means business you know what i mean yeah okay just
thought you should know number six call your uber um i think that means you gots to go does it
yeah it does is a dismissive phrase used to tell someone to leave shut up or go away
easy that one was easy see that one references a real life situation that makes sense there is
context to that connection mogging no unless someone can draw the connect the dots for me
no number seven smacks that shit smacks that's delicious that's good we like it
smacks tell me commonly used as a verb to describe food that is exceptionally delicious
i am crushing it right now where it tastes so good it makes you want to smack your lips
yeah similarly used to slaps which describes anything of high quality
that is highly enjoyable okay scuba oh no
is scuba this thing
motherfucker what does it mean
what does it mean i don't know that it has a meaning but it's this thing you hold your nose
and you do this and that's what scuba is am i right
a dance the kids are doing after they say a white lie hard to explain someone help let me tell you
something i would like to give a shout out to scuba because it's a great dance it's a great dance
it's a great dance i would like to give a shout out to charlie my niece because i could not have gotten
through this with any answers without her and that's on it being summertime and me spending
getting to spend more time with my nieces and them keeping me up to date because remember earlier when
i said brain rot charlie's a little brain rot and my youngins they know what that means
that's not an insult that's just a description so there's that all right i think that's as much
gen alpha slang as i can take for one day i got six of eight are you kidding me i hope this is
helpful for everyone with teens at home this summer real ones let me know what i missed in
the comments last thing before we close this out uh real one comment of the week oh i'm mad i'm mad
i read a little nope don't turn your mic on turn your mic off i'm mad turn your mic off emma god
and this week we have a comment from at turtle girl 93 wonder who that could be queen emma
they said hey girl big fan of your podcast especially the longer 60 plus minute episodes
i don't know you personally at all but i just wanted to randomly share that
love island uk and love island usa both premiered this week and the real ones would fancy a kylie
kelsey review next week it's still early days so i need your breakdown of the islanders
is that what they're called maybe watch it with queen elna yep let me do that
uh let's be honest she can't have much going on okay bye thanks
thanks for that queen emma i mean
what's the girl 93 gets it right yeah what's the verdict the verdict is no
why because i don't want to watch love island this could be our thing oh i'm still trying to
figure out i'm still trying to figure out what the heck went on on summer house because i got
the reviews the the reunion on tiktok fuck that you got love island you don't also i again i did
not watch summer house but what i will say about summer house is
an ex-boyfriend of a friend is off limits the end period so let me just say that as if i know
anything that went on i don't know any details so if i'm wrong just breeze past that shit um
real ones here's the deal queen emma has been talking about this for literally months
so i'm gonna need you to either have my back or have hers choose a side you either want me to
watch love island and talk about it on this freaking podcast i'll do it one time i'm not
doing it multiple times maybe twice maybe twice twice twice i will talk about it twice i'll give
you twice because then we have context okay i will give you two times to talk about love island
but if you don't want me to talk about love island because you love me and you care about me
and you want me to spend my time doing other things that i actually enjoy
then you should comment that you don't care about love island should we do a poll and make it
let's um polls have been usually working my favor so
then no i don't want to do a poll
cool so we'll put it to a poll thanks everybody trash and for our two love island reviews
i don't have free time to do this
and that's it for our summer solo spectacular episode i'm not gonna lie you can find even
more clips on my youtube channel on worship monday we'll be back next week with a brand
new episode if you haven't seen my fafo episode with michelle wee west or our last ngl episode
with astronaut Christina Koch.
Check them out right now
on our YouTube channel.
Follow us on social media
at NGL with Kylie
for clips throughout the week.
Listen and subscribe
wherever you get your podcasts.
Not Gonna Lie is a Wave original
brought to you by Pull Ups.
Thanks again to The Real Ones
for tuning in.
Let's be honest.
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Podcast Summary
Key Points:
Peloton launches the TreadFlex, a foldable, three-foot-stowed treadmill designed for portability and quiet running with an ultra-comfortable belt.
The podcast features a mix of personal stories, parenting challenges, and Gen Alpha slang trends, including "mogging," "body count," and "chungus."
Host Kylie Kelsey shares candid experiences about postpartum body changes, including discomfort with her belly button and the emotional difficulty of dressing differently after childbirth.
A recurring theme is the absurdity and chaos of parenting—such as children covering themselves in Vaseline or Desitin, and the challenges of managing kids’ behavior like biting and hitting.
The episode highlights real-life parenting struggles, including potty training, summer routines, and the impact of social media on body image standards.
A major point is the critique of societal pressure to conform to extreme beauty standards, especially with the rise of ultra-thin diet culture.
The hosts discuss fun but messy moments, like a child’s dance video and a "silent disco" scene, while emphasizing the importance of family bonding and boundaries.
The show promotes self-acceptance, humor, and community through shared parenting experiences, with a call to normalize and celebrate individuality.
Summary:
The podcast episode blends personal storytelling, parenting challenges, and Gen Alpha slang to create a candid, humorous, and relatable look at modern family life. Kylie Kelsey shares her journey through postpartum body changes, expressing discomfort with her belly button and the emotional difficulty of adapting to new clothing standards, while emphasizing the need for self-compassion. The episode explores chaotic parenting moments—like children getting covered in Vaseline or Desitin, or engaging in biting behavior—highlighting the absurdity and unpredictability of raising young kids.
It also dives into Gen Alpha slang, defining terms like "mogging" (outperforming someone) and "chungus" (a blend of "chunk" and "humongous"), while critiquing social media’s influence on body image and the unrealistic ideal of extreme thinness. A recurring theme is the importance of boundaries and self-respect, from refusing unwanted attention at public events to setting limits on children’s exposure to fame. The hosts also promote mindfulness, humor, and community through shared experiences, concluding with a celebration of individuality and a call to normalize imperfection.
The episode is both entertaining and insightful, offering a raw yet hopeful perspective on parenting during the summer.
FAQs
The Peloton TreadFlex is a foldable and movable treadmill that measures about three feet when stowed, allowing it to be easily rolled away. It features an ultra-quiet and comfortable belt for a smooth running experience.
It's innovative because it's designed to be both compact and portable, fitting into small spaces and moving wherever you like, making it ideal for homes or travel without sacrificing performance.
The new cross-training tread plus offers intelligent strength coaching powered by Peloton IQ, which analyzes movement in real time to provide feedback and help users improve their form and performance.
Mogging refers to outperforming or dominating someone, often used to describe being much better than another person in a particular area, like in a game or competition.
Body count refers to the number of sexual partners a person has had, often used in casual conversation to describe someone's experience level in a relationship or social context.
Chungus is a playful slang term derived from 'chunk' and 'humongous,' used to describe something large or impressive, often in a humorous or exaggerated way, originating from a 2018 meme.
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