Kylie on Wyatt Starting Kindergarten, First Moving In With Jason & Operation Barn Cat | Ep. 34

Not gonna lie, Benny asked me to wear these Santa Glasses for the whole episode, but I can't at least wear them for the cold open. Oh ho ho, let's get this podcast started. Welcome to a very special back-to-school/NFL kickoff episode of Not Gonna Lie. It's a wave original brought to you by Zippercrooter. I'm your host Kylie Kelsey, officially a mom of a kindergartener. I'm still not sure if I'm okay with that. No. My toxic trait is trying to order one of everything. I want to try it all. I do on almost every menu. I just want to try everything, one of everything, just a little bite. And most importantly, goberds! That's right, we made it real ones tonight is NFL kickoff and it's Birds vs Cowboys at the link. I love it. I've said it before on game day's life is not happening. Eagles are happening. For right now, all I say is it's time to break out the spoons. Yeah, I did just do the rally horn with my voice. Hold on, hold on. It'll be worth it, I promise. Could Brad just add that in post? Yes. Is it better off my phone? Also yes. For anyone new to the show that has no idea what this means, it means that football season is upon us and you can't be a jinx. So you got knock on wood sometimes. And sometimes the only one you can find is not fake wood around you. You found out the hard way one day during a record that that desk is not real wood. When you hear knocking, it's because I have to. Fuck, that's not real wood. So I might have to knock on her today. Coming up on today's back to school slash NFL kickoff special, you're going to get my second ever solo episode. I'm so sorry for you. That's right. Unfortunately, you're stuck with just me for the next 48 minutes. As I try to work through the emotions of why it's starting kindergarten and my favorite team playing our nemesis in real time. It's not going great. Queen number, you sure that's a good idea? So if I can actually focus if big if the plan is to get honest about all things back to school, I'll answer a bunch of your ask me something questions because you know, you guys had to have some parameters. The latest on the barn cat and how Benny is adjusting to fin five months in. Plus I'll give you my non football football predictions about kickoff and let's get right into it today. I'm going to kick things off with a banger here. It's one of my all-time favorite segments. You know what's fucked up? Hey, you know what's fucked up? My baby is suddenly old enough to be a kindergarten. Oh my god. No. Oh, I don't like calling her a baby and then saying she's going to kindergarten. Give it a second. Okay. Why it is officially started kindergarten, which is fucked up. I'm not feeling great about it. It makes me sad. I swear she just came out so it's kind of weird to send her to school like officially. Do I think I'll cry at drop off? No. Will I cry driving home from drop off? Yes. I can almost guarantee that. Why it is so excited about kindergarten? I'm so excited for her because she's excited, but also no. She has resorted to telling the adults in our house, myself, my husband, my mom, my dad that she's growing up on us as a way to, you know, twist the dagger. I don't like it as hurting my feelings. She's excited that she gets to eat lunch at school and also I think she's just excited to be back with her friends. She's such a little social butterfly. She loves being around kids her own age. She loves playing. She's like built for that. So I'll just be over here. Sad. It's very, very sad. Queen Emma asked have you and Jason realized this also means why officially did not get kicked out of preschool like her dad and her uncle. This is the first time I'm realizing that and I'm calling that a win. We are one for four so far and I kind of love that. I love our odds there. Starting off strong. I don't, I think Ellie will also achieve kindergarten without getting kicked out of preschool. I can't say the same for Benny. She is the ringer and I just don't have faith that she will not do something diabolical. She will do something that will at the very least put us on a very serious phone call. And I know that. I know that because I know Benny. Yikes. That does it for you know what's fucked up. Moving on, I'm going to talk even more about back to school in a little bit. But first I've got to get honest about the 2025 Eagles. How am I feeling? I have faith in the birds. But not too much faith. I don't have any first game of the season rituals. I kind of just face it head on. You just have to it's starting or here. You make sure that you wear your Eagles gear on game day no matter what. Whether you're going to the stadium or not, you got to rep it. I don't mind being the opening kickoff game because quite frankly ignorance is bliss and I didn't even know that was the case because all I knew was that the Eagles started that day. I don't know that the NFL starts that day because I would know that once it got once the season was underway. But when I tell you I have tunnel vision for the birds, I mean, I have tunnel vision for the birds. And of course the chiefs, but like you get it. That's there's there's two schedules in our house that matter during football season. And so I would have come to that conclusion. There are a few things as electric as Lincoln financial field printing goes kickoff game. So I can't wait. I'm so excited. Let's go. Let's just let's let's fucking go. Okay. Now since I'm talking about the game, I figured I'd quickly do some kickoff predictions except the real ones know I believe in jinx is far too much to give any real predictions about the actual game. So instead here are my predictions about everything else. Essentially instead of guessing how many TDs say Juan will score, I'm going to predict things like what color shirt big dom will be wearing. You get it. So Queen Emma has written out several home open air scenarios. And I'm going to respond to each with my best prediction. Queen Emma said I'm probably going to need my spoon. So got it. Number one, how many times will I say, hey, fuck the Cowboys from the moment I step into the parking lot to when I return to the car post game. Over under 30 times, I'd say over over 30 times for sure. That is honestly one of the key bonding moments that you get to experience in Lincoln financial field on a game day against the Cowboys. So I will be partaking in that. What else will I be saying? That's one of the downsides of going to watch a game in person. I have said it a number of times now that when I go to the stadium, I am not allowed to be as free with my thoughts and feelings as I am in my own living room in the privacy of my own home. So I will probably be saying significantly less curse words in the stadium than I will when I watch games at home. So will I think that? Yes. That's probably going to be the entire narration of my inner thoughts. Number two, what Eagles, Jersey, or shirt, will I be wearing to the game? That's game time, game time decision. I have a couple favorites. I, oh, God, this is where I get into like my, this is where I know that I'm thinking about. I'm like, my superstitions are starting to rage. I can wear either Kelly or midnight green. I also have some black Eagles shirts. It has to, I have to have at least one of the new Eagles head logo, not the old school eagle. Although that is my favorite Eagles logo is old school eagle. I have to have at least One. newer eagle head somewhere on my person. Why? Couldn't fucking tell you. Number three, how many minutes after I walk into the link, will I be holding a container of chickie and pizza crab fries? Mmm, I see, it depends, 'cause if I go with Jason, it takes us a lot longer to get to our destination. So I would say minimum, 10 minutes, maximum, 30. Fun fact, I say no cheese. There's a cheese sauce, it's phenomenal. It's so delicious, but I don't want it in the stadium for some reason. I just want the fries. God, I'm excited for those fries. They're so good. Number four, if the broadcast cuts to Jason, will you be next to him or hiding in a corner somewhere? You already know the answer to this. I'll be hiding in the corner. I love to sit next to my husband. I enjoy sitting next to him for football games because then I can either hear his feedback when he talks to himself about it or I can actively ask him questions while it's happening, that makes the game even more fun to watch and more enriching because you have a deeper understanding. But I, at the risk of ending up on the jumbo tron, I will probably find myself somewhere else or maybe I'll try to ask around, get to the bottom of when they would be, they have a very strict run of show that the people in the stadium do an outstanding job producing for the entire stadium, so maybe I can just like get a hint. Oh, hold on. You can send the girls into the house at 10 first. There's about to be a cluster of fucking children. I'm just warning you ahead of time. Hi, babies. Oh, you're ready for Miss Cindy? Yeah. Oh, this is the cutest thing I've ever seen. Oh, my babies, my babies, my babies, babies, babies. Do you want to come show your cut? Come here. Hi. What's up? I'm coming over. Yes. What's, you want time in to come over? Did you love that Queen Emma came to visit us today? Yes. Yes. Look at me. What? Over here in person. What? What's on mom's eyes? Hey, quiet, boys, please. I see. You can have that. You can take it. Hey, come here. Why do you guys come in here and raid all the boxes? Mom, mom. Hi. How come you didn't put my ghost one up there? Oh, why? That's such a good, good, good, good, good, good. Emma, remember when you said you need a new artwork? Ta-da. OK, bye. Why, take the little house. Please. OK. Number five, one of the odds I lose my boys from booing the cowboys for three hours straight. Um, slim because, like I said, I have to be on my best behavior in the link. But I'll be thinking. And that doesn't forget, I'd be honest. Am I non football, football predictions? Moving on, let's take a little football intermission here and get into some of the questions. The real ones sent in for ask me some things because ask me anything was far too open-ended. Seriously, you guys got to get a grip. OK, let's get right into it. First question from Beth Erickson 7. Update on Benny. And if she likes Fenya, Beth, I'm so glad you asked. Over the last five months, we have definitely had progress. Benny will still tell people to put her down. But it has progressed from put it down, which I'm going to call progress. We also have had a few times where Benny actually talks to Fen, or what she likes to call plays with Fen. I don't necessarily know if I would classify it as playing, but she's trying her best. And she is engaging in positive interactions. So calling it a win. I have asked her recently, should we keep her? When I say that, I mean it in like a playful way. But I have said, hey, Benny, do you think we should keep her? And she said, yes. So that's great. To be fair, previously she has answered no. So again, progress. We'll take it. Next from TBB_9, how's the barn cat doing? Well, we don't have one. When we need to find one, I don't think it will be difficult. I think that at some point, we can venture our way out to Lancaster County and drive around for a little bit and find a house that has a sign that says kittens usually painted on an old piece of wood. And then we can just roll up. They're probably not well socialized kittens. So that will be our barn cat opportunity. I'm a big proponent of going to the PSPCA and snatching one of those cats up. But I think, again, typically those are going to be the cats that are more-- they're destined to be an indoor cat. They've probably lived a couple lives before they ended up there. Yeah, so I think that at some point-- or maybe the cat distribution system will grace us with a contribution. I get this on my TikTok feed all the time of people finding a puppy. And then they get out of their car. And there's seven puppies in the grass next to the highway. I think I've been preparing for that moment my whole life. And I'm waiting for it to happen. Similarly, I'm listening for a faint me out at any point every single day of my life. An important follow-up to a lot of cat questions would be, what will the cat's name be? I know that my husband is on board with us, so I'm going to go ahead and say this. I love the idea of a cat being named after a food. I love the idea of any pet being named after a food. I think it's hilarious. I think it's adorable. I think it is charming. I love it. I love everything about it. The girls will be asked about what they would like to name a cat. But their submissions will probably be dismissed pretty quickly, because I've heard what they've come up with in other situations. Finn's nickname is Pickle, because Ellie said she wanted to name Finn Pickle. And then she was fully committed to the name Pickle. So if they wanted to name a tiny human Pickle, actually Pickles would be a great name for a cat. So maybe I'll go to Ellie for this one. Maybe I'll pretend that they're naming a human, and they'll give me a better cat name. If I ask them for a name for a cat, they're going to tell me Sheila. So I'd rather a cat name Pickles than a cat named Sheila. Anyway, and lastly, go to favorite treat. You hide from your kid/husband. Are you successful in hiding? A sweet treat, any sweet treat, literally any sweet treat. I have a sweet tooth. I love a sweet treat. Not all sweet treats, but a lot of sweet treats. Here's the deal. Best part is I don't have to hide it from my husband. We have slightly varying preferences when it comes to sweets. He's an ice cream guy. I'm not really an ice cream person. It works out great, because I love chocolate cake. He's not that big into chocolate cake. Well, eat it. Same way, I'll eat ice cream. But it's not something I would seek out, which makes us very complimentary, and I love that for me. Also, if he wanted to share something, I would share it with him in a heartbeat. My kid's, on the other hand, I will sneak donuts into the house. I do have a stash at any given point of some type of sweet treat. Current sweet treat, there is an entire bag of bunch of crunch, if you know you know, from BJ's. I got a whole bag of bunch of crunch. And occasionally I just grab a couple out on my way by. The key is that with three moving children, it's really hard to successfully sneak it and eat it before they realize. So I just always end up sharing a little bit with whichever child catches me. And that does it for ask me some things. Part one, that's right, I'm going to answer even more questions in part two, but first, zipper cruder. As the real ones know, I've got a lot going on this fall. Not only am I coaching field hockey and working with the Eagles Autism Foundation. This is also the first year I'm hosting a podcast, in addition to being a mama for, guys, busy. Now, what happens if they need to suddenly hire for EAF, field hockey team, or the podcast on top of all that? Yeah, I'm gonna need some help if you need help hiring while running your business and doing all the other things you do. Just use Zipper Cruder. If you're looking for a job, Zipper Cruders also got your back. They've got an amazing app that finds relevant jobs for you. What? Just head to zippercruder.com/ngl right now to try it for free. And if you're a job seeker, I've got even better news. Most applications on Zipper Cruder are viewed right away within 48 hours. I absolutely love this. There have been a couple jobs that I have applied to throughout my life, and I can tell you it is a nerve-racking experience to definitely want a position and not know whether or not your resume was read thoroughly, whether or not someone even got their eyes on it. So this feels this feels a lot more secure. So let Zipper Cruder help you guys get your hiring done fast. Just go to zippercruder.com/ngl right now to try it for free. Again, that zippercruder.com/ngl zippercruder, the smartest way to hire. Now, before I get into the rest of your questions, let's do what I do best and get scrolling. It's time for a new edition of Doom Scroll the Week. First up from @TheLegacyPlaybook. Perhaps the best example of rage-baiting a Cowboys fan I've ever seen. Queen Emma, roll the clip, please. Oh my gosh. I had no idea that VCRs were so expensive. On Amazon, they're like hundreds of dollars. Jesus, it's a good thing you don't need a VCR. I do need one. That's why I'm looking. What in the hell would you need a VCR for? I don't think you're going to find these movies that I want on anything but a VCR because they're so old. What the hell is so old, but where you can only get it on VHS and not DVD or finally internet? What the hell would I need a VCR to watch? What? The Cowboys last Super Bowl. For our audio listeners, this gentleman is wearing not only a Cowboys hat, but a Cowboys sweatshirt. And he is mining his own business sitting on his couch while his 49ers fan wife questions him meticulously. She wrote out this play and stuck to it. When I tell you this man walked himself directly into her trap, it was exquisite. I love that she went obscure. She went far, she went far out. She went all the way to, I need, I need a VCR. And of course, he was like, no, you don't. Why would you need a VCR? She took him on a long walk and he still took the bait. It was outstanding. Well done. I genuinely, I have, I have no notes on this one. It's very well done. I like it a lot. She is a hero to us and we welcome her with open arms. Next up on Doom Scroll, there might actually be a solution to my kid's constant mom, mom, mommy, mom, excuse me, mom, mama, mom, mommy, problem I mentioned recently. Queen Emma, hit it. Okay, listen, you guys are saying mom, just a little too much. Okay, so for the next 10 minutes, please call me Tammy. Tammy. What's up? I'm digging room for my uncle. The next 10 minutes, I need you guys to call me cash money records. Whoa, my name is Linda Blier. I'm almost pointing you to make your request to my cartoon here today. I'm doing this immediately. So I have experienced getting to the point of saying, that's it. I'm changing my name. I am no longer mom. That one has been used too much. I have not yet arrived at the destination that she has, which is providing an alternate. I can't wait. You can bet your bottom dollar. I'm going straight for a babs, straight for a babs. Shout out to my friend Amber. She knows. Leslie Knope, for sure. I would Leslie Knope all day. I think I would go like rabbit raccoon just because if they call me rabbit raccoon, then I can then act like a rabbit raccoon in my response. And I feel like that's just matching their energy. I would absolutely choose an obscure like rapper from the 90s. That would be a fun one. I think it might be kind of fun to do a like DJ Khaled, but yell it. Like they have to be like DJ Khaled. You know? Yeah. And I will only answer with we the best. You know, like one of those, that's what I'm doing this. I'm going to do it. And I'm going to I'm going to stitch that mom is a stitch the right do it. Do it. I'm going to tick tock it back to her. Is that not the oldest thing I've ever said? Oh, no. I can't believe I said that. That was horrific. Guys, let's forget I said that. And that's it for Doom's Call of the Week. Moving on, I wanted to use this special solo episode to debut a brand new segment. I'm calling tiny human question of the week brought to you by perplexity. Ultimately, anyone with tiny humans knows that you get asked random-ass questions that you honestly might not have the answer to on a very regular basis. I have gotten a number of questions about how things work, how things are made, specific animals, and like what one would have the most of something. It just you can never quite you never know where the question is going to end when it begins. And that is on having tiny humans. Well, now I'm finally going to get them some answers. For this week's tiny human question, Ellie just asked me if there was such a thing as purple ballerinas because quite honestly, I was trying to convince her to continue wearing the purple dress that she had been wearing for the entire morning. That she then wanted to change out of aka make more laundry because she wanted to look like a ballerina. So we needed to convince her that there were purple ballerinas, aka the purple dress that she had on could double as a ballerina. So Queen Emma, can you please pull up perplexe and ask if purple ballerinas exist? Did you know there's a purple ballerina plant? Perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect. Yes, there are purple ballerinas. The best part is is that there's purple ballerina plants, but also we're able to get any of the answers that we need here. There are purple ballerina flats. We could get choose to match the dress to really keep her in the purple ballerina moment. Now the best part is that we could probably pop up to the top here for an image search too and convince it. Look at that. Look at that second one. Yep, that one. Yep, that'll convince her purple ballerina done. Go to the ones. Oh, can we do the ones on the stage? Yes. Purple ballerinas can refer to fashionable shoes, ornamental flowers or imagery and costumes, but not a specific person or animal with that color or name. That's fair. That's all I needed was enough to convince her to keep the dress on. So I think we've got it. Less laundry for me. And that's it for tiny human question of the week brought to you by perplexity. Now let's get back into the back to school zone because it's time for you guessed it. Can I be honest about back to school? How does it feel to have some routine in your life again? It feels good. And also not good. The idea of having structure again with school seems lovely. And then I realized that five days a week I am going to have to make sure that these children are up, dressed, polished and out of the house with a lunch packed. And that you know? Yikes. But also they thrive in school. They love going to school. They love learning, which what more can I ask for? They're still in their play years of school. So they go to school and they play all day. Amazing. I am very excited that we will have our structure back. I am not excited about germs. I enjoy back to school shopping because I with three moving children. I love when you get to buy colored pencils and crayons and pencils that are still fully intact. There's something satisfying about a fully intact writing utensil. Because otherwise they don't have a lid. They get snapped in half. All the crayons get ripped. Their paper gets peeled off. Benny also we had to evict most of if not all of our glue sticks out of the house because or into hiding. Because Benny is convinced that they're Olympic. So I kept finding her not even finding her. She kept finding them and then putting them in whatever bag she was carrying around the house. And then she would occasionally take them out, but she knew better to turn her back to me and put on her lipic. And then she would turn around it because it's the purple that turns clear. It just started getting like a little messy. Long story short, we did have to get some more glue sticks. So yeah. Now, before I close out this segment, I'd like to put a very important call to action to our real one teachers out there. I have said before, I have a deep love and appreciation for educators. My grandmother worked in the public school system. My mom worked in the public school system and I worked in the public school system. All in all, I deeply appreciate our educators. They're important because they are shaping our youth. They take your kids all day, five days a week. They are trying to help them become knowledgeable and caring little humans. And we're all in this together, guys. They are part of the village. That being said, my DMs filled with messages about wishless. And I want to help as many teachers as I can. So in an effort to give everyone a fair opportunity to have NGL help out with your wish list, please send in a quick video telling us about you and your class and tag @NGL with Kylie. Mind you, stick to the rules. We shouldn't see any kids' faces and probably not while they're in your classroom. But we would also like for you to send us the link to your list. Next week, we'll feature some of those videos right here on the show. And then obviously, we'll cover some of the things on your wish list. The people at Wave and here at NGL know that I have an affinity for charitable efforts. So we're just going to, I'm not going to say how many will cover, because that's between me and the wish list. But we'll just, I really think you should do it. You should submit it. And again, those videos should be tagging @NGL with Kylie, so that we can make sure that they are in our list. Um, that does it for, can I be honest about back to school? I'll be right back with a part two of Ask Me Some Things right after I rave about Uber Eats real quick. Greetings, real ones and go birds. Since we're talking back to school today, I wanted to make sure you guys got the best deal on school supplies for your kids. I know it's tough for any busy parent to find time to go hunting for school supplies. And this definitely includes me this year with hockey, why it's starting kindergarten and Jason back to broadcasting. It's for sure our busiest time, which is why I did some back to school shopping right on Uber Eats. You can shop for everything on your school supply list up to 40% off markers. They've got those notebooks. Yep, with all sorts of colors and designs. Why it loves a unicorn unicorns and rainbows. That's it. We're deep in the girliest girl options unicorns and rainbows. But it's not just the classic school supplies. We've got deals on electronics, too, like calculators, headphones and even tablets. I think we all remember in high school when you finally had to get a graphing calculator and you forgot to tell your parents that. So they ended up trying to find it on the last day before school started. Uber Eats could have helped with that. Don't stress about going back to school. Get up to 40% off of back to school essentials delivered right to your door. Just tap away on Uber Eats. Offer ends 9/16 term supply, see app for details. All right, let's get right into some more of the real ones questions for ask me some things. Part two in the theme of these first couple questions appears to be asking me for advice. Oh my god. Why? Yeah, first up from Leah 203. How do you get adjusted to living with Jason? Oh, I'm living with my BF and it's a weird feeling. Leah, boys, you know, men. It just, I don't know. I am being a type C personality really helped out here. I am very much the type person that brushes things off. If Jason walks out of his shoes and they're literally in step in the path in the house, I'm like, okay, I'll just push them to the side, put them back by the front door. Jason, I moved in together when we had been dating for two or three years. We did live together before we were married. Crazy. Living in sin. But I don't know. I didn't mind it. I did. It didn't faze me. The unexpected best part about it. Oh, for sure that you get to sleep next to them every night. That's my favorite. I don't like when Jason leaves. He knows that. I don't like sleeping without him next to me in bed. It bothers me. Any beige flags come up during that early period. Jason's beige flags came up when we started dating and we weren't even living together. And it got to a point where I said to him, I'm just going to take your laundry home and I'm going to do it because it seems like you've half done three loads. When we first met Jason didn't have a dresser. Let me tell you what was in his bedroom, a bed, period, Christmas lights around the top. That's it. There was no overhead lighting in the room either. So when I tell people this, when I tell people this state that my husband was living in when we first met and they say and you still dated, I want you to understand how unbothered of a human being I am. I couldn't care less. Genuinely, I thought it was hilarious. One of our biggest early on bonding experiences was going to the store to get him a lamp. Wait for it. The lamp doubled as a bedside table because it was a square lamp, a standing lamp, a floor lamp that had a shelf so that he could put things on it like a bedside table. I find that to be hilarious. The only light he had in his room was a string of Christmas lights around the top that we still have that we put on our Christmas tree because that was their original intention. He couldn't turn the lights on via switch. He had to plug them into the wall. He had a little balcony off of his room, a tiny little balcony with doors and two windows like full length that had no curtains, of course. Don't be ridiculous. There was no window treatment on that whatsoever. So at six o'clock in the morning when the sun came up, he was up and he liked that. Quite honestly, as a morning person, I can appreciate that. I actually enjoyed that too. I know, guys, I know who I'm married. One day I'm going to tell the vacuum story and that's going to be eye opening for everyone. Yeah, I loved living with Chase. I still do. This went on a deep, this went on a deep dive. Leah, I hope you enjoy living with your boyfriend. Just understand that whatever you're feeling about living with man is probably universal. So don't get too deep in the weeds on that one. From real one Nicole, how do you navigate toddler tantrums? This stage is not for the week. There's a lot of self talk that happens in our house right now during a toddler tantrum. I've, I think that if you can remind yourself that they are tiny human, I know sometimes my initial reaction is like they've got to be kidding. And then I realize that they are four years old or two years old. And I think that them reacting as if the world is ending is because their world is truly, they think their world is ending. And so I try to have some grace, but at the same time put your damn foot down. You know what I mean? Like we got to hold out. Yeah, I think you got to hold firm. That's what we are trying to do in our house. That's what I've always tried to do is hold firm. If my answer was no, it will still be no at the end of your tantrum. And I usually like to acknowledge, hey, I understand that you're frustrated with my answer, or I understand that my answer made you upset, but that is still my answer. So, um, I mean, we get tantrums for anything. Today, the just this morning, then he had a full blown tantrum because somebody had the magic wand and Benny thought, I can just take that because I want it. And she was told no. And then she had a full blown meltdown. And I let her have the meltdown. I let her go off. She's stormed up the steps, she went in her room and she laid on the floor and cried for a little bit. And after about two to three minutes, I went upstairs and I said, "Hey, I get it, you're sad." But there's about approximately give or take, a million and a half other toys downstairs that you can pick. And when wide's done with the wand, all you girl. Last from Gia, would you ever do an NGL meet and greet? Stay tuned, Gia, maybe. Real ones, you gotta let us know if you want this. And what kind of event it should be because I have no thoughts about this. My brain is still confused by the fact that people want to meet me, okay. Now, last thing before I close out this solo episode because this was our back to school special queen, Emma wants to stick to the theme and close things out with a pop quiz. Oh, this is so exciting. And it looks like I have a choice between two different quizzes here. Queen Emma has prepared two options for me to choose my own adventure. Number one, animal trivia quiz. And number two, 2025 Tating Red Flags trivia. Oh no, I would like to try the animals first. Once again, I have a stack of note cards here. That was very good. With the answers to check my work as I go, number one, what is the biggest type of turtle in the world? A, a leatherback sea turtle. B, a Galapagos tortoise turtle. That's terrible. I can't stand that you did that. C, green turtle. D, yurtled the turtle. Here's the deal. Are we going on weight? I'm gonna go A, a leatherback sea turtle. Oh, ha! Leatherback sea turtle. 500 to 2,000 pounds of those suckers are huge, too. What is the fastest creature in the animal kingdom? Ooh. A, a cheetah. B, a paragrim falcon. C, a black marlin. Or D, a common rat. Okay, I'm gonna go B, a paragrim falcon. And now I'm gonna regret it 'cause it's gonna be C. No, I was right, okay. Okay, it is a paragrim falcon. It can, oh my god. It can exceed 186 miles per hour. They're so fucking impressive. I saw one in person once and it was almost as if I fangirled. Like I had seen like, I don't know, Beyonce. Guys, when I tell you that I am an animal nerd, I mean, I'm an animal nerd. Oh, this one's gonna piss me off, I can feel it. Number three, which dog breed has been found to be capable of understanding more than 1,000 words? Oh. A, Cocker Spaniel, B, Border Collies. C, I original found. D, airbud. Now, for the record, airbud. Everyone knows, gone retriever. It has to be be a Border Collie. I know it's on Irish one. From personal experience, I know it's on Irish one. I love them and they're adorable. Not the sharpest holds in the shin. Border Collie, nailed it. Number four, what is the only mammal capable of true flight? Ooh, oh. A, a flying squirrel. B, a bat. C, a penguin. D, say, "quambarkly." Is the answer, say, "quambarkly?" I do believe it is B, a bat. It is B, a bat. Did you know you've put most of the correct answers in the B section? In the B, oh, I looked. It was frog. I looked. The tiniest animal with a backbone is what? A, fish, B, lizard, C, frog. Apparently, or D, lollies. I know it's not lollies 'cause lollies has a big backbone. She sticks to her guns. Fish, lizard frog. Frog. Obviously, 'cause I looked. That was my fault. Name at least three distinguishing characteristics of a mammal. Oh, no, here we go. Warm blooded, a vertebrae, is like a live birth. One of them. We think about it. We think about it. Okay, do you want to tell me? Do you want to give me a hint? Tell me it's produced milk. Being warm blooded, we said that. Having hair or fur. I honestly, I'm gonna tell you right now. My brain, my brain was including birds. So I fucked that up. I would have had fur hair had I not been putting that in. Possessing mammary glands, AKA anything can be milked, you know? Three bones in their middle ear. I didn't know that. Breathing air, duh. And having a backbone. So. Damn. Number seven, what is the fastest running bird? (laughs) A row. You got me. Emma writes these rundown in the hopes that I will occasionally be caught off guard and giggle. And she got me. Hey, road runner. Mimi. B, ostrich. C, emu. D, turkey. I'm pretty sure it's an ostrich, which again puts us in the B position. And yes, I am correct. It is an ostrich. Apparently, if you're ever taking a quiz made by Emma, pick B, okay? It's not C for Emma, it's B. Everybody knows that. Number eight, what is a group of zebra called? Zebra's called A, murder. Nope, that's crows. B, stripy friends. Yes. C, dazzle, or D, razzle. What? I'm gonna go with. I'm gonna go with C. I was right, it is a dazzle. I'm gonna be honest, I've never heard that before, but I do know a murder is a murder of crows. And stripy friends sounds too cool for it to be official. So, and a razzle is obviously the candy that turns to gum. Number nine, wire flamingos pink. Super easy, they're diet. The shrimp they eat are pink. And so they eat enough of them that it actually turns their feathers pink. Everybody, that's just, that's a good one. I like that one. And let's see if I'm right. Due to their diet of algae, brine shrimp. Yep, there you go. 10, true or false, owls can rotate their head, 360 degrees, false. That's false, I know that. They can rotate it, but they cannot go the full 360. They can rotate it very far. They can over, they can rotate further than 180. Oh, Queen Emma specifically wrote, can rotate 270 degrees. So, but they can't do the full exorcism thing. So, I got all but one. Queen Emma, that was an outstanding quiz. That does it for my pop quiz and also does it for this special episode of Not Gonna Lie. You can find even more exclusive clips on my YouTube channel on More Shit Monday. Real ones, let me know how you feel about the solo episode. Do you want more? Or is this level of unhinged, more of a twice a year type of thing? Tell us an NGO with Kylie. I'm gonna choke. I'll be back next Thursday with a brand new episode, follow Not Gonna Lie on all social media at NGO with Kylie. Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcast. Get your NGO merch at NGO Kylie.com. Not Gonna Lie is a way of original brought to you by Zippercrooter. Thanks to the real ones for tuning in. (upbeat music)