Kylie on What No One Tells You About Giving Birth, Caitlin Clark’s FAFO Energy & Better Dancer: Travis or Jason? | Ep. 81

My brain was like, when I get to that six, eight week period where you go back and they check it and they're like, "Hey, you're cleared." I'm like, "Yeah, medically. Don't look at me." Meanwhile, my husband's like, "That ass." I'm like, "Go wipe the other asses. Get away from me. Get away from me." My ass isn't what you need to worry about. Thank you. Finn is, it's just because she's not even 18 months old and wearing 3T clothing. You've never seen your placenta? I've never seen them. I think that's better. I don't have a peaceful relationship with placenta. Next time we have a clip of pinning women against each other, we're going to get the audio of Caitlyn Clark and we're going to put it in there and we're going to go, "Go and try to do that." Not going to lie. This morning, the dogs ran in to greet me and they came with Bennett and I said, "Hmm, why are they all wet?" Then he said, "The toilet." Let's get this podcast started. Welcome back to a brand new episode of Knock on a Lie. A wave original brought to you by DoorDash. I'm your host, Kylie Kelsey. Irish Wolfhound and German Shepherd Dog Mom to Patty and Freddy. Because they're my babies. Sometimes my kids tell me, "I know you like the dogs better than you like me." And I say, "No, I don't." But consider they don't talk back. Yes, I'm aware Jason is narrating the Epcot Candlelight Persexual in December because I'm hype about it. I've loved Disney. I just love them. And I think it's safe to officially say that we've convinced Malala to be an Eagles fan. That's right. Look at her. She said, "Go birds, my girl. Gosh, I love her. I may or may not have been told by a little birdie that they were impressed by the electricity of the stadium, the electric vibes of the stadium." Let me get it. Let me get a direct quote here. So much energy in the crowd. I am so proud of her that she made it to her first NFL game because her and I have discussed before. She loves football, but the European kind. She has not yet been to an NFL game, but now she has. And she picked a good one, Eagles Home Opener. So to summarize, this Sunday, this past Sunday, as Malala said, "Go birds." Yep. Okay. Coming up on today's episode, "A Loaded Doom Scroll," where I'm going to talk about post-baby's birth control. I'm also going to get to some ask me some things, questions from the real ones about how Finn is adjusting to her sister starting school, who's the better dancer Jason or Travis, and how is that even a question, and how early is too early to commit to Halloween costumes? After that, I'm going to be joined by a hilarious friend of mine and a friend of the show. She's here to talk about something the real ones wanted a deep dive on, post-partum and the transition from one to multiple kids. It's Allison Kooch. But before we get to any of that, let's start things off with the rage bait of the week. Wow. Okay, right into it, huh? Sometimes people can't help, but post fucked-up shit that Queen Emma knows is going to set me off. So let's see what it is. Queen Emma, what rage bait do you have for me this week? Oh. Oh. This, this old thing? Got it. It's a TikTok, and the text on screen says, "Everyone's wives look like supermodels, except one." Okay? It's lots of athletes with their spouses, and they look stunning, and everyone is dressed to the nines. And then they end with me, specifically me in a t-shirt and an athletic skirt tossing yellow shots. First of all, goodness gracious. The caption, oh, I didn't even notice the caption. The caption says, quote, "Jason Kelsey's wife is really down to earth." Okay. First of all, Queen Emma would like to note that we would typically ignore this, but does it really? Does it really? It has 11 million views. That's so dumb. I don't know if it's intended to insult or intended to compliment, but either way, I think the point was missed just on the simple fact that it's unclear. Also, why are we trying to compare? Cut that out. First of all, you can't find a clip of me on a red carpet, because you know where I'm not going to end up on a red carpet. Okay? I don't get fancy. If I do get fancy, I have to sprint around a lake because the Uber driver dropped us off at the wrong door, and if I don't get in soon, I'm going to miss NFL honors, and my husband being one of the presenters. Okay? So no, you're not going to catch me on a red carpet because I'm late. This is a weird TikTok. It's weird. I don't like it. Cut that out. Also, can you please stop tagging me in it? You can stop tagging the show too. We've seen it. That's it for Rage Minute of the Week. Now that we took care of that, let's channel some of this rage into some fresh. Ask me some things. Questions from the real ones because ask me anything needed boundaries. Seriously, you guys are off the rails. Ask me some things is brought to you this week by Pull-ups. And of course, we're going to do this, huh? Rapid fire. Are we? Yes. Let's try first question. How does Finn enjoy being an only child while the older girls are in school, bored or reveling? Okay. Finn is enjoying being the only child, but I do think she's sad now that Benny is back in school because her and Benny recently have been thickest thieves. I mean, nonny, nonny, nonny is what I say to them. They, uh, Finn will go to the snack drawer and take out endless, endless snacks. And Benny will open them for her. And then they will both feed them to the dogs. It's going great. So Finn just needs to find another accomplice. That's all. Is it Freddy? Is it Patty? Stay tuned. Next from real one, Halley, help settle a debate. How early is too early to start planning Halloween costumes? Honestly, I feel like I'm behind the ape already, but I am every year. I order them when they go on sale, which to me, if the Halloween costumes are on sale, it's too late. So I would say beginning of September is probably a great time to start planning, because if you're not going to just order a Halloween costume that's already fixed for you, like everything comes together, then you might need to hit up Etsy or other things that might take a little bit longer to ship. I think end of, I think beginning of September is a great time to start planning. You should probably have everything ordered by, by the end of September. Queen Emma wants to know if the girls have any ideas for costumes and they have a lot of ideas for costumes. Queen Emma, we're trying to filter through which ones are realistic. This might be the year where there is not a group theme because everyone has an opinion now, including Phine. Next from Hunter Albright, what advice do you have for husbands whose wives are pregnant? Ooh, have grace. Have grace for your wife. She is building a human being. It is not simple. She's literally creating organs. You are in the middle of a conversation. She's building a brain. You know what I mean? I just think that if she wants Taco Bell at 10 p.m., you guessed it. Your ass should be getting Taco Bell at 10 p.m. And I'm not even a Taco Bell person. I think that we give her what she wants. And also see the light at the end of the tunnel. She's she's going to have that little muffin. You're going to love it so much. But just you got you got about nine months of nonsense that nobody knows what could happen, including your wife at any given moment. So just have some grace. Okay, I always say I'm really lucky that my husband stayed married to me after being pregnant for time. I'm not nice as a pregnant lady. I'm actually quite grouchy. And from real one and Mariam, sure, who's the better dancer, Travis or Jason? Guys. The show is called Knock on a Lie. Queen Emma would like to remind me of that, but it turns out I don't need that reminder. I'm going to tell you right now. If we're talking about range, it's Travis. If we're talking about enthusiasm, it's Jason. I feel like I just nailed that question. Rabbit fire. We're still moving. Okay. And last question from real one, football, girly pop, amazing handle name tips for overnight potty training. We are struggling. I don't know if this is right or wrong. but I think first of all, obvious answer, such an obvious answer. Actually, I'm going to bury the lead. I'm not going to give you the obvious answer first. I'm going to give you some tips. Try your very best to not have them drinking lots of water right before bed time. We can't send them up for failure. Second, I have them go to the potty again right before they go to sleep. Really, like we've brushed teeth, we've laid down, we've read a book, we've told stories, we've talked about our day, and then we get back up, we use the potty and then we get back in our beds, then they get back scratches and then I leave the room. Number three, the most obvious pull-ups training pants. I know. This is why they're a sponsor because we love them in our house. They have the new learning layer and it almost, it makes it even better than they were before, which I didn't think was possible. It gives your kids a sense of independence. It's a graduation from a diaper. Obviously, you're not going to wear a diaper overnight. Now you get to wear these awesome pull-ups. First of all, great designs. That helps. Everybody knows that helps. But then this new learning layer, it lets them feel wet, which when you're asleep and you think to yourself, I'll just tinkle. And then you feel wet. It's uncomfortable. And that helps them wake their brains up to realize that they now need to wake up and go to the bathroom to pee instead of sleeping and doing it. Now, if you went cold turkey, you're elite. I've used pull-ups for all of our kids. And I don't plan on stopping. Finn is in line next. It is a huge accomplishment in our house when people wake up with a dry pull-up. That is very exciting. We celebrate big time and it is something that they proudly announce. That's it for Ask Me Some Things brought to by Pull-ups. My guest, Ali Kooch, is coming up soon. But first, we got to get to Doom Scroll the Week brought to you by DoorDash. First up on Doom Scroll, I'm going to let this man speak for himself when it comes to post-baby's birth control plans because he gets it. Green Emma? I told everyone on the internet I'm getting a bisectomy. I'm pretty much all the guys were like, you can get your wife's tubes tied instead. Or if she ends up getting a C-section, they could just do it while they're in there. And I feel like those guys don't have a wife because I just can't imagine that conversation after four children carried in up all four births. Yes, immediately, yes. Green flag. First of all, if your wife just made you four human beings, you don't ask her for god damn motherfucking thing. You don't ask her for not a single thing. Also, also, I would just like to point out that it's the least you can do. It's the least you can do. I can get, there's nothing, it's the least you can do. It's an outpatient procedure. You literally go in. You're not in there for that long. You'll leave with a nice pack on your balls. You're fine. You go back after a couple months and you make sure that you're tested. That's an important part. You make sure that you get tested. And then, do you think chicken wing? Guys. And then have at it. Ask her to get her tubes tied. What's wrong with you? What's your relationship like with your mother? Don't answer that. I already know the answer. It was a rhetorical question. And she's about as disappointed as I am. How about them apples? How about them balls, huh? And lastly, congrats to Team USA basketball for their fifth straight Phoebo World Cup championship. Wow. Okay. The locker room champagne clips are top tier, but I want to shout out this one of Caitlin Clark channeling some F.A.F.O. energy. Are you guys friends now? We always been friends. Don't try to do that. Oh, shut it down. Shut it down. I love that. Why do people have to pit women against each other? Oh, don't do that. As Caitlin Clark said, don't do that. Next time we have a clip of pinning women against each other, we're going to get the audio of Caitlin Clark. And we're going to we're going to put it in there. And we're going to go don't do that. Don't do that. She said, don't do that. I love it. The only way to make that better is if she said suck my ass. But that's just personal preference. Maybe I'll tell him to suck my ass. She can be like, don't do that. And I'll be like, suck my ass. If you ever need backup, Caitlin, you let me know. I got you. Pagebackers on the show actually told us something similar about the media always pinning her against Caitlin. Cut that out. Don't do that. Suck my ass. All right. That's it for Doom Scroll. The week brought to you by DoorDash. Allie Kooch is coming up after these messages from me. Being a person is tough enough these days. Let alone being a parent. That's why I use DoorDash. Because when life gets crazy, DoorDash just helps bring some order to it. Like this past week, when I need a nail polish remover, partially for my hands, partially because Bennett found nail polish, whatever. But it was 815 at night is bedtime. Honestly, while the girls were doing their shower, I DoorDash nail polish remover nail polish remover and got to redo my nails. Probably not great now, those a few days ago. But DoorDash came in clutch with that one. Real life needs real relief. That's why DoorDash is there for whatever you need whenever you need it. Life with kids is wildly unpredictable. No matter how much parents try to plan, there's always going to be chaos. Being able to offload a few to do's and give a little more time to focus on yourself and your family is huge. We all know life gets crazy. DoorDash just helps bring a little order to it. Order now. This episode is brought to you by NFL Sunday ticket. I get it. There's that real fear of missing out on Sunday. But with NFL Sunday ticket and YouTube TV, you don't have to stress about it. You get every game, every Sunday, all in one place. Jason and I just filmed a commercial for Sunday ticket. And Queen Emma somehow got her hands on the blooper reel. Let's see this. That's me with a sandwich. That was Jason. Look at how close they put the Cowboys' hand in me. Did you see that pirouette? Is that what that's called? I don't even know. It's good turn. And right now, it's just eight payments of $30 a month for new users. Sign up now at youtube.com/ngl. Get NFL Sunday ticket for eight payments of $30 a month for new users. NFL Sunday ticket on YouTube TV is $47.25 a month or $378 for returning users. New users pay $240 or eight non-cancellable payments of $30 a month first charged at purchase. YouTube TV required payment plans not available everywhere terms and embargoes apply commercial use excluded no refunds. As a mom of four kids six and under, I've been deep in the potty training trenches. But luckily, I've actually learned a thing or two over the years. At this point, I have explained how to wipe to three tiny humans. If I had to count the number of times that I've had to explain it, over under let's say 500 times, I'd say over. And I've also learned my go to when my daughter's got to go is pull up training pants. I've been using pull ups since Wyatt's transition into potty training. And I absolutely love that they give me peace of mind. And now pull ups has another reason I will always be a fan. They just introduce the new learning layer. It's designed to help kids learn the difference between feeling wet and dry. It's working for overnight because you want them to feel a little bit uncomfortable so that they understand that when they pee in their sleep, that's what it feels like. It's progress without the stress of the mess. It gives my tiny humans big confidence while I get the peace of mind of up to 100% leak free protection. Head to Amazon during prime big deal days to save 20% on pull ups and keep your potty training journey moving forward. Buy new pull ups with learning layer now designed to help kids learn wet from dry. She's one of my all time favorite content creators from her early days talking about being a wag to now as a mom of two little girls getting real about postpartum breastfeeding and finding yourself again. And now she's joining the Netflix family for her new show couldn't agree less with Allison and Isaac. She's Scotty and Peppers mom. A great friend and she's once again not going to lie. Allison Kuch welcome back. Excited to be back. Now the last couple of times we got to hang out in person was earlier this year. You were pregnant. We were an aspen. We were also in San Francisco for Super Bowl. So I of course have to start with how does it feel to not be pregnant anymore? I actually love pregnancy. I'm like the unicorn. Like I I truly do love being pregnant. You lucky son of a gun. I'm like it's right now you should be checking it. You're so lucky. It does feel nice not sharing my body. It does feel nice being like oh, I can like this is 200 milligrams caffeine. Let's just do it for you more like. like those parts let's rip it. Hell yeah. Just shotguning like a Celsius. So I feel like there's the parts of it that feel nice, but I also do miss being pregnant. Do you still, do you ever still like put your hand down expecting a bump? Because I found that after every single pregnancy, it was probably around the six month mark where I stopped like going to rest my hand. If there was going to be photos, because I'm like, I just want to like put my hand there, but there's just acknowledge it extra me. We should be allowed to cut our bellies in a picture and just be like, look me in my organs. We should do. She once lived. That's why it lives like this. There's a space here where I grew a human and I'm not over it. Is there a relief after giving birth? Do you have a relief that you can think of? Like relief to like meet my child. Like I'm excited for that, but then other stuff now. Everything else wrong. The second I pushed her, I was like, fuck. Damn it. Here we go. So happier here. Also shit. I'm just like, let's normalize that the newborn phase isn't actually the easiest phase. I was like, it's all asleep all the time. It's scary. It's no, they don't. No, they don't. They she her wake windows are longer than mine. I'm like, this is not normal. Yeah, newborn phase is like really scary for me. They smell fear. No, they definitely don't stress. They do. They feel that and they give it back to you 10 fold. Yikes. Yeah. So this postpartum or like even postpartum in general, I feel like there's a relief and like, oh, I'm excited to meet my daughter. I'm excited that like I get to bring her home. I get to meet like the feet that have been kicking me all, you know, the past few months. But there's not really relief for me in that like, oh, I can't wait to feel like myself. I think I feel like myself when I'm pregnant and that's scary. That's so lucky. Because every time I'm pregnant, I'm like the second this placenta gets out. And I don't even blame the baby. I blame the placenta. That is a hormone bag of hell for me. Wait, they showed me my placenta. He was like, do you want to see the placenta? Oh, yeah, I got pictures of it four times. I've never seen it. No way. The first time I like got it encapsulated this time, I didn't do that. But I did want to see it. And Isaac took a picture of it next to his hand. And it was tell me did you consume all of it? No, because I got subsist. Not because the placenta, like maybe who's to say you've never seen your placenta? I don't I don't have a peaceful relationship with placenta. I'm actually very angry with the placenta, which helps me not be angry with the child I'm growing. I'm like, you're a sweet little innocent baby, but the the the bag of hormones connected to you. The devil sucking the life out of you. Horrible. Absolutely horrific. And I'm telling you within 24 hours after that shit is out. I'm like vibing just happy as a clam. I'll tell you. I do know I can see that. Did you feel like the sense of relief when you released your placenta? Because pushing the baby out, I was like, Oh, like that felt nice. But then when they pulled the placenta, I was like, Oh, my God, that felt good. No. I know exactly what sensation you're talking about. But the funniest part is that this time around, you were able to have a successful V back. Yeah. You've talked about that a lot of V back for anyone that doesn't know is a vaginal birth after a cesarean. So basically after you have a C section, if your doctor advises, you're able to try and have a vaginal birth for consecutive births, you were able to do that. Now Scotty was breech. Is that right? Yeah. Is that why you had a C section? Yep. So I had a plan C section. I knew like 30 weeks on I was probably going to have a C section. And I was okay with it, but then going into this pregnancy, I was like, if my doctor's on board with it, if my body is showing signs of writing, ready to give birth, like, let's try it. Yeah. Now did you go into labor naturally? Yep. My water broke on my kitchen floor. How was that? Because I've never gone into labor naturally. This fascinates me. Yeah. This is going to be a fascinating story. I was playing Kinetic Sand with Scotty. I was doing a challenge of walking 20,000 steps just to induce labor. I was making a video about it. And of course, my labor starts while I'm playing Kinetic Sand just sitting on the ground peacefully. I stand up and I felt like a little bit of water come out and I was like, I think I just peed myself. Didn't say anything to anybody. Just excuse myself. I was like, I'm going to use the restroom. I'll be right back. It's just eyes like in Scotty in the house. I go back and I'm like, if this is pee, this is a new low. I give a quick whiff. Didn't smell like urine. I was like, I'm just going to go about my day. That was weird. Go back, playing a little bit more. I go to stand up again. And this time it like, you could visibly see like water between my legs. It didn't feel like a gush or anything. So I was like, okay, maybe that is my water. And I just look at as if he goes, what? I was like, don't freak out. I think my water just broke. Don't freak. Don't freak out. He's like, wait, really? He goes, oh, oh, okay. Okay. I was like, well, I don't know if it's actually my water. And he goes, let me smell it. The fact that both of us thought to smell it. He goes down and goes, that's not urine. I'm telling you that's not urine. I go, I don't, maybe it is pee. Maybe it is pee goes, no, Ali, if you fear stuff, you would know. Maybe honestly, honestly coming from someone who has been very pregnant four times. I can't say for sure. No, I was in shock. I get to the hospital and they're like, oh, why are you here? And I say, oh, I think my water broke. And they go, okay, so we're going to check real quick. They put me in a triage and they have like this thing they put up you and they check to see if it's your water. And she goes, it wasn't your water. I go, no, no, no, it was. She goes, let me go get my supervisor. I go, okay. Great. This woman comes in and she's been kind of rude. I'm like, oh, no, I think that that was my water. She goes, you peed yourself. I go, that wasn't pee because you peed yourself and I literally stand up. I'm like in the hospital gown and I just show her it coming out of my body and she goes, maybe it was your water. Yeah, maybe, maybe your test is wrong. I try to get, I was gaslighted into thinking I peed myself. It wasn't urine. I was like, urine comes out of a different part of your body. I'm pretty sure like a different hole. Also, also, oh, no, this is going to make me want to find someone. Also, what happens if they gaslight you enough that they convince you to go home and then you go home and you are an active labor. Yes. After your doctors told you knowing your medical history that your ass was supposed to be in the hospital, the minute you had an ounce of labor. So that's exactly what happened. They called my doctor and they're like, hey, it wasn't her water. So we're going to send her home and he goes, no, he goes, actually, no. By the way, I was also already five centimeters dilated. So he was like, do not send her home. I don't want to do a home birth. Hey, guys, if I wanted a home birth, the pool would be inflated. Okay. No. I want the epidural right now. I'm not even feeling contractions and I want it right now. Did you get one? Was it glorious? Was it amazing? I wish you could get epidurals like for fun. Did you take a nap after you got it? No, I was like, this, this is too good. I can't take a nap. I need to experience this. This is going to be short-lived. Let me tell you, there is nothing, nothing that hits harder than a post epidural nap. My ass is you went to sleep after you got the epidural. Was there a drill like two hours for two hours? Oh, every time I labor through the night and I couldn't even sleep. No. I am. Yes. I love an epidural nap. I want an epidural nap from my nipples down. I want to be numb from my nipples down. I want to feel pressure and that's it. And I want to two hour epidural nap. I didn't wake up with my teeth chattering. A little nauseous. I ask for a bump a zoe fran. And then it's go time. The bump a zoe fran is like thank God I went into this just being able to like advocate for myself because the first time around I was like, I think I'm like really like not feeling good. And I waited so long to tell them that. And they're like, oh, we'll just give you zoe fran. This time I went in and I go, hi, um, I think that water broke. Can I get some zoe fran? The epidural and a warm blanket. You've never had a better experience. I was pushing in my doctor. It almost didn't make it. Like it went quick. It was beautiful. It was your tall queen and you were ready to get these burning hips. That's what it is. The first time I walked in my OB office when I was pregnant the first time around. One of the doctors walked past me. He was like an older gentleman who you know had just seen everything under the sun, and he was like, "You'll be fine." And I was like, "She's talking to me." Go ahead, know you? He literally meant because I was so tall, I would be fine. And you were like, "Thank you so much." And I was four times. Honestly, like the bullying in middle school was worth it if birth is that easy for me. Oh my gosh. Oh, did you get bullied? Wow, yes, okay. What? Just making sure there's one individual, and I refuse to say his name on this podcast. He called me a man almost every day of junior year. And I don't know if it's just that he was short of that. Or what? It was clearly based on his own insecurities, but I will tell you what, I'll take getting called a man every day of junior year, just to walk those, they have those children just walk clean out of my vagina. They literally walk out. Mm-hmm. Hi, nice to meet you. Now, I do have to ask how is Scotty doing with Pepper joining the family? Incredible. Is she? And probably not because I'm like this amazing parent who like really, okay, give yourself some credit. But I will say she's in a baby doll phase. So like this is her real life baby doll. Perfect. And we still have like consistent things, like weekly that are still the same from like before Pepper joined our family. So I don't know if she thinks life is that different. Sure. It's her baby doll. And then the rest is just kind of like out of sight out of mind, which is great. Not so much. She does want to hold her a lot, but oh, perfect. Which Scotty is the size of a four-year-old. She's 40 inches tall. She is not a 99th percentile, but like technically 105th if you really want to get specific. And I'll just look over and she's picking her up. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. Like yes. But it's, I think it's, I would rather have that than her hate her. So it's going really good. Now, I will say, I think that at least in our family, our second child, she beefed up quick because I think she realized it was the only way she was going to survive. So like there's a chance Pepper pulls that. Like she might just, she might be just built for tough, you know? Yeah, I think she is definitely, and if she's not tough, she needs to learn how to be tough. She's about to be. You ain't going to have a chance out here, sweetheart. There was a, there was a time I still remember. We had this little tight slide in the living room. And Jason, when our second was born, she was probably like three months old and she was doing tummy time. And she was on a blanket in the living room and why our oldest climbs up to the top of the side and looks over the side. And Jason nudges me on the couch and goes, look, look, look, look, she's going to come off the top ropes. And she literally looked like she was about to like, drop an owl bow. And I was like, why Elizabeth? And she was like, this baby, is Sissy? I was like, no, no. Oh, no, no. Just to meet the end for you. Hi, mom. Hi, she, right. I don't know if I like you yet. Mom, isn't she cute? Sissy cute. Yeah. I was like, oh, God. But she's, they're fine. They're fine, but no more seven now. They're fine. We're, we're the other two just as tough. In different ways, I mean, Bennett, our third is, she's going to take over the world, and it scares me a little bit, but in like a fun to watch kind of way. Yeah. And our fourth is just, I mean, she's out here. She came out swinging. Just yesterday, one of the girls took a book from her. And she is wearing the same size clothes as Bennett. They're two years apart. They're, they're two years in a month apart that she took a book and she goes over and just starts, wham, wham, wham, wham. I'm like, no, no, how about now? Let's have, let's have kind. You're like, I don't have a choice, but to gentle parent because the, the children are doing the opposite. Honestly, I'm about to get wailed on. But, but Finn is, it's just because she's not even 18 months old and wearing 3-T clothing. Now, that brings me to another thing that you have had a different journey with this time around that you have discussed a lot is your breastfeeding journey. - Yes. - Now, I saw that I really enjoyed your three month update because that felt like there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Does it still feel like you've gotten on the other side of it? Sometimes, I, I think breastfeeding is easier. And well, I exclusively pumped. Remember, so that was. - That was. I bowed down. - Bowed down. I'm not built for that. I shouldn't have done it. So I went into this experience being like, okay, you're either going to take the boob or you're going to take a bottle and it's going to be full of formula because I'm not doing the pumping bullshit anymore. Like it's just horrible for everybody. I hate everybody. - Yes. - So I went into it knowing that like it was going to be like a probably a learning process. And it was because she had like a tongue tie, a lip tie, like all these issues. She honestly don't think she liked it. I don't think she liked it. I was like, we're fucking doing it. We're going to get this figured out. I had a lactation consultant. I was texting her every day. I was going to her house. I was like, what about this? What about this? I'm doing facial stretches. I'm like, what is going on? But I was just so like, we have to make this work. I need to try this. And then we got to the three month and I was like, we, this is easy. And now it's definitely easy to the point where like I can't imagine never bringing a bottle with me anywhere. But I'm that like every single day, I'm like, she's probably hungry. I don't know. Just put her on the boot, like we'll figure it out. Yes. And I just, I wish that I could just be like, she's eating. And if she's not like, if she's hungry, she'll cry. I just think, I'll look over and she's smiling. And I'm like, she's probably hungry. I did, I did see that you're doing some weighted feeds. Is that right? Some, yep, a lot. Are you doing a lot? I saw you post about it and I will say, I had to, of course, it's always like the 2 AM online at 2 AM being like, how do you know if your baby is eating enough? Yeah. And then it's like, you can get this changing pad that has a weight in it. And I was like, is this me feeding my anxiety and allowing, and so the next doctor's appointment I had, I was like, hey, and our pediatrician is amazing. He's very old school and like, straight to the point. And I like that, that suits me. I was like, hey, I don't think she's eating enough. And he's like, you see this little line on my paper? And I was like, yes, I do. And he was like, that line is trending upwards, which means you're doing great, mom, keep it up. And I was like, okay. And he was like, if that's not enough, she should have x number of wet diapers a day. And if that's the case, she is getting enough milk. There is no arguing it. Like she shall feed the way she's going to feed. And that was the moment where I was like, I have to trust that that is correct. It's just such a mental game. And I'm weak. No, no, you're not. You're strong, but I am going to bring up, I am going to bring up a moment of weakness. Yeah, this was coming. You just posted an IG story the other day about something we got to talk about. Essentially, you had people. We'll call them assholes. In a comment section, saying you are, quote, complaining about motherhood in your content, which happens in a lot of our comment sections as well to be honest. Really? God. Yes, because I think that, I think that when you are not in it, when you're not in the trenches, or you weren't just in the trenches, it's real. I think we get that amnesia that everybody talks about. I think that it's sensationalized all in front of you. Like that's what the world tells you. Like it's this beautiful, wonderful you made a life. You brought it into the world. Great. I'm so happy for you. In the trenches, suck my ass. Suck my fat ass while I'm at it. Now, I know that you've talked a lot about that you don't read comments, but apparently only when you're in postpartum era. Yeah. Great idea. Sometimes I think like I'm already so down. Like let's just kick me while I'm already down here. Because once you hit rock bottom, there's nowhere but up. Okay. So like I'm already here. Let's until the floor moves, Ali, until the floor moved. Am I moving my own floor? I'm in the basement. Now, yeah, I, I would like to sometimes here. How do I want to say this? Going into social media, I always like to think, okay, if people are leaving a lot of the same comment, I want to be at least away. like, am I saying something that's out of touch? Am I saying something insensitive? Instead of getting defensive, I'm like, wait, I'm like where can I learn? - Yeah, sure. - So I feel like I come at hate comments all the time like that in a really bad way where, I mean, if you're in a toxic comment thread and you find your name, no one's probably gonna be fighting for you. - This is probably not a great space. - It's a dark corner of the internet. And I still had like that mentality, okay, I need to look, like what can I learn from this? Except I found that comment thread when I was sitting in a dark room doing a contact nap and I was already having a bad day and I'm like, this is a good place to cry. Nobody can see me in here. Now, in this IG post, you also said, if I'm being honest, I don't know who I am outside of being a mom right now. So I'm getting emotional. - Was I crying out of it? - I feel that, maybe. I feel that to my core. Your social team just screenshotting that you're like, this is gonna be perfect for the podcast, thank you. - I, no, I genuinely, when I read, like when people say, and I wanna really, I wanna make sure you understand the gravity of this, when people say things like that out loud, whether it's on social media, on a podcast, out loud, to hear it when you have thought it, or sometimes when you feel like you're like, almost just like treading water and you don't know how to describe it. It is so cathartic to hear someone else voice that because I would love to have something else to talk about. I'd love to. I would love to. Glad you brought this up. Like I would love to not be feeling this way, right? Like I would love to, I would love to enjoy pregnancy and speak about it kindly. I would love to have these, I would love to answer emails like an adult. It's not happening right now. And like you, I think from what you've talked about on social media, I feel like there was a stride that you hit between Scotty and Pepper, where you were like, okay, here it is. Yeah. It's not that like motherhood defines me. I'm still Ali. I still get to be my own person. I still get to live my life. And I still get to be like the absolute best thing I've ever gotten to be, which is a mom. Yes. And it was, it was like around the year mark, I had stopped pumping. All those hormones were coming back to normal. I was like, wait, this is beautiful. And I get to share my life with my little best friend. This is perfect. And that's how you get pregnant again. You're feeling too good. Damn it. It's really feeling myself. I want to say this, I think I speak for all of your followers when I say thank you. Thank you for saying those things out loud. Thank you for saying that it's not easy right now. Thank you for talking about the struggle because it's the thing that we've been talking about now, talking about getting your pink back. All of the things that you have been so upfront and forward about, it makes it easier for everyone else to exist in a world where we don't try and pretend like we are fine. 'Cause sometimes we're not fine. I also can't pretend to be fine when I'm not fine. Oh, no. Like, I applaud people who can make that, like who can do things like that. But I, I'm just like, what is, what am I being fake for? Yes. What, like why pretend? It, honestly, like it wouldn't help me and it probably wouldn't help you. It would probably make you feel shit about your life. It makes me feel shitier about my life. And you know what, a little self-deprecating humor, like what's wrong with that? The real ones know I'm a proud BJ's wholesale club shopper. I have been for years. Before I had my own membership, I used to go with my mom. And I don't even know how long she's had her membership. I'm legacy BJ's wholesale club shopper. I will brag about it. You can save so much compared to a regular grocery store because BJ's isn't just the big stock up once in a while. I rely on it for our groceries every week. It comes in clutch with such a big family. Like we have, we go through snacks faster than they can come in the door. So we need the BJ's size. And with our giant assortment, BJ's wholesale club really has everything I need for me and my family. I also love that I can shop how and when I want. Like when I'm on my way back from practice or I have my girls in the car, curbside pickup makes it super easy. And most of the time, especially recently, I order same-day delivery. It's glorious. I can get anything I need in as little as two hours right to my front door. Incredible. Not a BJ's wholesale club member yet. Join today with a special offer for a one-year club membership for just $10. Yes, you heard that right. For an entire year, $10. You can learn more and discover what BJ's is all about at bj's.com/kileycalci. Back to school and field hockey season, it can be a little chaotic. But when life gets hectic, I know my aura ring keeps track of my health metrics. So I don't have to. The best part about wearing it, first of all, it's super comfy because it's thin. I mean, the last one was comfy too, but this one, even comfy here. I love that I don't have to remember to charge it all the stinking time. That's glorious. I barely remember to charge my phone. I have not yet checked the metrics when I'm watching football, but I will keep you up to date about that. We'll check in next week. Or a ring five is 40% smaller than the previous generation and more powerful than ever. Ultra thin and subtle, it's designed to become a seamless extension of your personal style and your most capable health tool yet. And it has best-in-class accuracy, larger smarter sensors to deliver accurate sensing across 50 plus biometrics. Learn more about the world's smallest smart ring and discover how aura can help you better understand your health at aura ring.com. Well, now that you feel better, how are we gonna get our pink back? I did see that you joined a mom's group. How is that going? It's going great. Turns out it actually does help when other people are like in your shoes going through the same thing. We have a low, it's called new mom's school. I think they have locations all over the country, but I joined it with one of my friends who gave birth two weeks after me. And I was like, okay, if anything, it's just like you and me going to hang out. We had the best group of women. I think it was 13 of us. And then instructor was like, this is the best group ever. Like don't tell anybody, I told you that. No, I'm like outing her on a very public podcast. But everybody is so funny. And we're all second time moms. And we all had kids within I think like six weeks of each other. And it is incredible. Our group chat, it feels very validating. There's people up at all time of the night. So if you sent a text message, someone's gonna respond. And it feels like I wish I would have had this my first baby because I probably wouldn't have felt so alone. Okay, well, I've said before and I'll say it again, one of my favorite, one of my favorite followers on TikTok and I want to show the real ones why with a segment, we do called Doom Scroll the Week, where I react to all sorts of viral clips on the internet. But this time we're calling it Doom Scroll the Week, Alley Kooch Edition. Brought to you by NFL Sunday ticket on YouTube TV, every game, every Sunday, all in one place. First up, your husband discovered perhaps the best form of birth control. He's like, hey, you're most fertile right after you have a baby. A little inconvenient if you ask me. Dr goes, let's talk about birth control. I go, no, no, no, I'm already on it. He goes, no, not tracking your cycle, like, do you want a different form of birth control? And I go, no, no, no, you didn't hear me. I am already on a different method of birth control this time. I point down to my husband, the birth control. Because my husband purchasing these shoes is birth control enough. For audio listeners, they're toe shoes. They go around each individual little toe, even the pinky. I can't. Ew, what's the, what's his excuse? He said, I need to let the dogs breathe. Nope. Put those dogs back together. Tell him his piggies are going to get lonely and they want to be together. Please dear God, they are. And I'm just like, they can't be that good for your feet. Go barefoot, dude. You're, you want to, is it a family time better? Get out there barefoot. Go step on some rocks, some soil. Maybe there's a nail out there. Let's be a man. Toughen up, toughen up. Oh God. Yeah, does he, does Isaac have other beige flags? 'Cause I don't, I think this is a red flag, but I'm gonna call it a beige flag. 'Cause I like Isaac. He's a good guy. He's a, he's a good guy. I don't like him all the time. But I love it. No, but you, you got a great man. You have a great man. Yeah. And he, I'm gonna call it a beige flag. Does he have other beige flags? I think he's-- I need a couple of them. I'm trying to think of other-- My consistent beige flag of my husband, it's always my example is that he is the loudest human being I've ever met in my life. No matter what he's doing, it's loud. Walking through the house, loudest human being I've ever met in my life. "Hey, be quiet, baby sleeping." Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. You know, loud, I think a beige flag is Isaac talks to anybody and everyone. I know like that. Scottie would say, "I know like that." Because then I have to talk to everyone and anyone and everyone and I know I come off that way on social media that I'm very outgoing. I have social anxiety. I don't wanna talk to everyone. So he can start up a conversation with quite literally anyone. He's like the typical like dad. Like, yeah. I'm gonna talk to anyone and that's his beige flag. Another beige flag is he can't be quiet. If the baby is asleep, you are not allowed to go anywhere near that room. You need something in that room. I will go in there because somehow, some way, it's your breathing, it's your feet, it's, I don't, it's everything. So you know, does he snuff his nose? Let me tell you. Like, no. But when the baby is in the middle of us, which has been pretty frequent recently, when our littlest is in the middle of us, and I'll be like, "She's right there." And I'll be like, I'm like, "I'm gone." Okay, we're gonna show you another clip. I wanna show you this next clip because we talk a lot about how fucked up the phrase bounce back is on here, irritating, trash garbage. Now here, you are showing your postpartum body. Yeah, look at it. - No, first of all. - Nancy beautiful. No, but dead ass. Yes. I should have cut the clip. I just kept going, I'm just like, good. You were like, "Let me make sure everyone knows." You, first of all, nailed that. Also, have you been able to give yourself grace? Yes, I think it's, well, yes, but like in a toxic way. Like I'm like, "Okay, I'm like my body will feel like my body at one point in the future." So I think I'm able to give myself grace then because I've already been through it, but I'm trying right now in this moment to be like, this is not my time to be like the fittest I've ever been, like the healthiest, like right now, I just need to just be. How the fuck do you expect me to get my shit together when I haven't had my, "Oh, there you are, moment." And my abs apart, touching, nowhere near each other, actually. I'm on my second hernia right now. Oh my God, two different spots, though. The best guy. The first one was love and this one's high, it's fine. Like how do you want me to get my shit back together if I'm going through all of these things? That's also kind of where I'm at, where I know I'm not, also I'm not one of those unicorns who gets to lose weight while breastfeeding. In fact, my body is the opposite. They're like, you're breastfeeding, we're gonna make you as plump as possible. I just know that like eventually I will like be confident about my body again and like it sucks to say they don't feel like that confident about it now. I feel bad ass, like if somebody came at me and was like, wait, she looks pregnant, I would be like, you fucking ass. So I just carried a baby, what did you do? What did you do? I just grew a placenta, I grew an organ, and I grew a backbone, here I am. So yeah, I wish I could be like that confident all the time, like when I'm looking in the mirror, but my time will come. I honestly think that's the best summary because that is, you're not always going to be like, you know what, I am hot. I'm not hot postpartum, I'm not. I don't feel hot, I don't feel sexy. There is nothing cute about me or my attitude postpartum. I'm also gonna say like, not gonna lie, I don't know how people get pregnant before there's six week appointment because ain't no way yet. Unless I'm the virgin Mary, like there's a macular conception. Yeah, no. You know what? Power to you, but also can bet your bottom dollar that's not happening in my house. I love that for you, but I don't have that for me. I don't even have to love it. I don't have to dislike it for me. It's not happening. My brain was like, when I get to that six, eight week period where you go back and they check it and they're like, hey, you're cleared, I'm like, yeah, medically. Don't look at me. Don't look at my-- Don't look at me. I can't even look in the mirror right now. Don't look at me. Don't look at me. Meanwhile, my husband's like, that ass. I'm like, get, go wipe the other asses. Get away from me. Get away from me. My ass isn't what you need to worry about. Thank you. There's four other asses you can go wipe. Bye. Yeah. Every time. And that was Doom Scroll the Week brought to you by NFL Sunday ticket on YouTube TV. Now, I do quickly want to touch on before I let you go. I do want to touch on your husband. We chatted about him a little bit. Great. I mean, the best. Yeah, him. But a congrats is an order because you guys just announced your brand new show couldn't agree less with Alison and Isaac. And the first episode comes out October 22nd on Netflix. Tell us about it. Yeah. So we officially joined the Netflix family and so excited. I mean, for various reasons, I'm like, holy shit. We're like part of the Netflix family. This feels so real. I'm also really excited because this is our first project where we're doing it together. I feel like we make videos on like social media together, but we've never done a project like this together. And we've started filming. And it genuinely feels like the best. Like it's so fun and I also, I'm just talking to my husband. So I hope I would be enjoying it. And on the show, we're just going to dive into like relationships as a whole, whether that be like friendship relationships, relationships with your mother-in-law, like all dating advice, so many different things. And it's coming from me and Isaac. And the best part is that usually we disagree. When the show is called couldn't agree less, like we-- It's with each other. It is with each other. And I actually mentioned to him the other day, I was like, we should just always disagree. Just to like, somebody's going to disagree with what one of us is saying. So maybe we should just disagree more often and just have like healthy conversations, a little debate team, a little in-house debate team. Yes, exactly, if you will. I am so excited to watch if you ever need a guest correspondent. Oh, we will be having yours for sure. Yes. OK. The best part is that we get to talk about toxic relationships. And like, we're not talking about our relationship. We're talking about y'all's toxic relationships. So it's fun to like, give our opinion because I don't have to go home to this. Right. Thank God. Thank God. I think I'd be terrible at it, but I'll try. No, because you have, in the best way, an unfiltered, like you get unfiltered feedback and the people love that. They need to hear that. Somebody somewhere is going back to their ex for the fifth time and they need to hear from Kylie. Don't you fucking do that? That I literally just told someone last week, we love the earth, but we don't recycle. Thank you. That's that. And I feel strongly about that. I will say Isaac, and I did break up. So he is exactly recycle. But that's just another reason as to why we're going to get such great advice. We've really-- that's why we're going to disagree. That's why I feel like we come from such different backgrounds. And different religions, it kind of goes on and on. We are so different. But then we also have this big, beautiful marriage. So I'm like, who's best to give advice other than us? Probably a therapist, but we also give advice. I cannot thank you enough for taking the time to come on. You know how much I love your content and love getting to catch up with you and chat with you. And I appreciate that you're having these very Frank conversations, and also appreciate you taking the time to fucking do a podcast today. No, this was beautiful. This super woman-- Super woman. That actually talks back. It was beautiful. So thank you. Thank you for having me. So thank you for having me. So come on anytime. Amazing. Well, thank you so, so much. And we'll catch up again soon. Yeah, very soon. And that's it for this episode of Not Gonna Lie. You can find even more clips for my longer conversation with Allison on my YouTube channel, On More Shit Monday. Follow us on social media @NGL with Kylie for clips throughout the week. Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcast. Not gonna lie, is Wave Original brought to you by DoorDash. Thanks again to the real ones for tuning in. [MUSIC PLAYING]